₦airaland Forum

rockstarB:
It all boils down to not having a really close relationship with their children.

I disagree to some extent. Let us say that I'm a single dad. That loved my daughter so much..

Do u think such topic will be really comfortable for me to say? In my mindset, I will be thinking, she is my little girl, sex topic shouldn't even cross her mind at any stage. Does that mean I don't have a good relationship with my daughter? .. it's not easy to be honest.

You don't have to blame your parent.. There are sensitive topics people find difficult to talk about. As u know, some people are introverted while some are extroverts.

Some might be thinking, which mouth will I use to start telling my children about sex.. I'm I saying this to encourage them or discourage them.. Those were the struggles a lot of parents have within them. So they chose the best alternative which was to be quiet... It's easier for young people to say that parents did nothing or said nothing. But when you get to that stage, you will definitely understand their struggle... That's why some of these topics were on school curriculum just to help the kids as well as the parents who cannot talk.

But for those who can talk about it, it is highly encouraged, Those who can't talk about it, don't crucify them.. they were simply uncomfortable talking about it.. Though I wish all parents can talk to their kids about it.. more especially the girl child. So that they don't have to be afraid when they were experiencing their period.

worworbabe:
What's your deal? You want to insist by all means that bickering couples are in love and have chosen not to accept evey other person's opinion.

It's not hard. If you choose to love that way, go ahead. and choose a partner to constantly quarrel with and call it love. Leave others who choose to see love differently.

Some people are just negative in thoughts and that's why they don't get positivity out of life. Just continuu

I don't really need your advice dear.. Trust me on that.. and I never stopped u from loving how u want to love. I don't have that kinda power...Though I made a mistake replying when you quoted me. The thing is, there are ways people pass their message across without sounding confrontational.. or start dishing out advise when no one asked.. the way classy people comport themselves when online.

What I was expected from you was a cordial chat.. u tell me why u think like this, and I say why I think differently.. we can go on and on like that without being personal.. That's how people make conversation even when they don't actually agree.. Please learn how to do it.. Stop making an argument personal as if it's all about u.

Setting up a camera in Nigeria as a whole no matter the location is a waste of money and effort considering the nature of power supply..

All I can suggest is no matter how ineffective the police are, they are still the last resort. Make sure you have the number of the closest station around you.. Lock yourself in when you notice someone suspicious, call for help from the police as well as your neighbours while inside. Hope this helps

This is so tricky considering the fact that no sensible man would watch their children starve..

I am a firm believer that anything Ex should remain in the dustbin of history. But in this case, hmmmm! !!. and if reverse was the case, I don't think I can handle it as a man.

So instead of answering the question, let me do what parents usually do when asked difficult questions they were uncomfortable answering. (Confrontation) OP, How dare you bring this kind of question.... don't u know that this kinda question is against our religion beliefs, our social belief, our economic belief... just ask good questions and I will answer u

If your wife grabbed you by your balls because you came home late thinking you slept with someone outside but your conscience is clear nothing of such happened, what will be your reaction. Let her continue to squeeze your balls.

When she went home and narrated what happened that made the father summon me, she didn't tell him she held me by my balls. When I told him, what do you expect him to feel?

You expect him to say, holding you balls is nothing it is coming back by 12mid night that is the problem.

Her anger was that i slept with someone to have come back home that time. Did i sleep with someone?

Funny enough, that very night, I called her to tell her I will be late. I had a very good reason to be late but not she grabbed my balls.

Though I don't like the idea of someone quoting me and the ID says nobody. it makes me look stupid trying to quote back. However I believe it's u OP.. So why not maintain the new Identity that you have created for this thread?

I wanted to reply / ask you some questions but I can't because it says nobody..

OP, to be honest, u are a married man, some of the things you said in there, I was even shocked myself. And I do not see the reason why your father in law feel that u are right. Or maybe he was blinded by the fact that u settled his debts.

I understand that your wife got her issues. But if u see nothing wrong with a married man being outside his home @ 12am, 1am in the morning, I do. No matter how harmless the chilling with your buddies might be.

U don't wanna divorce her but how about the kids u were sacrificing your happiness. If for example they were sleeping at night, fire breaks out or armed robber came to attack and u were out side chilling with friends. Have you thought of that?

You might be thinking that u were not cheating because there was no sex involved but there are lots of sexual contacts involved. Please Bro, act like a married man and also start submitting CVs. It is not too late to salvage your marriage.

It's unfortunate one can't choose a parent or a family to be born in.. if not so many would have queued up @ Buckingham Palace.

Just calm down OK.. I know that the lock down/ no movement coupled with what was happening now in your family is frustrating and irritating u. Please take it as a family cross. Take a deep breath each time you want to say or do any thing.

I guess u are with them for the lock down period. But if u were living with them on a permanent bases , then it's time to move

contumely2:
Hepa b has no biz with urine colour

It does.. if I wasn't sure, I won't say..I was 13 when I had it.. use Google too to confirm

I was good in primary school at least 2nd position to 4th was my thing. So I remembered in primary 4, first term, my position was 7th out of 31 kids my father was angry. He said that it was because of Kidi Vision 101..( ie NTA programme )
That was the reason I failed.. So each time the programme starts, I will be asked to go and study while my sisters will be watching. Remember my mind will not be where I was.

2nd term, 13th he couldn't even say anything to me.. words failed him.. he just ignored me.. I continued with TV and my favourite programmes

3rd term 3rd position. When he saw my report he shakes his head, smiled and walked away.
Those were fun memories of me and my old man.

It doesn't work like that my friend. If u want to relocate him to Anambra State and a certain City, then feasibility study is required. What does the community or that locality need that an old pensioner can do..

people might suggest stuffs to you here but it might not be needed much over there in that locality..

Just make out time maybe and ask around about the location, or go there for 1 week and make some survey / research. If u you were business minded, u might figure out what or which business might progress in that community that a pensioner can do without stress.

When there's urine colouration, What comes to mind is Hepatitis B. I might be wrong though but u can be 100% sure if u go and get yourself tested.

I will suggest that you leave NL and go to Google. Type in hepatitis and find its symptoms and Gonorrhoea and it's symptoms. Then check out which was similar to how u were feeling.

Instead of reading all the condemnation here, go to Google and make some research because in Nairaland, they don't make mistakes. They are all righteous people..

DigitalBrands01:
Thank you for telling the world your level of ignorance

You probably have no idea that Hand glove is part of medical Kit

Just go to Google and type in 'kid glove' dear. I'm just embarrassed based on your argument

My own thinking might be different. Your fears is just what everyone or any rational human will be thinking about. Kids, family, business, etc. In terms of relocating to a new place..

Be bold and confront every uncertainty with him. Sell your business in your present location. Use the proceeds to open a new one in Kogi state.

Just saying, I don't want you to come up here in 2 year's time and open another thread. Captioned " my husband is no longer coming home for a visit "...

Then, you will start by narrating how he got a FG job, visits every week. All of a sudden it becomes once in a month and finally stopped.
After narrating, all the ladies in the house in solidarity will pick him up and start tearing him pieces by pieces.. He needs his wife by his side and u also need your husband at all times. This is the perfect opportunity to prevent and avoid any unwarranted situation. But if u think that it will never happen, then let him go while u stay. Just letting you know that prevention is cheaper than looking for remedy.. to summarise everything I have said, stick together with your family and face every uncertainty with your man.. he will draw strength from you and u too will do the same.

Don't let all the bad news u read in here and elsewhere scare you.

You should know by now that bad news sells.. Anyone that opens a thread and narrates how he or she is enjoying their marriage, u will hear comments like are u the first person... and so?are u sure he is not cheating on you? U better wake up men are polygamous in nature.. They are dogs and can't be trusted etc..

That makes it look like no one is staying in a happy union.. They will end up sowing the seeds of doubt on that person. Please don't be discouraged when u find the right man, just cry and say I DO.. with your head as well as your heart..

OP, a lot of people are scared of the dark.it's called Achluophobia.

Please don't bring religion into this so that you won't look stupid.. it's very fortunate that epileptic power supply in Nigeria minimised that kinda phobia but it is common in so many countries. And it doesn't mean some of our citizens aren't scared of the dark.

Please perish that thought you have about the girl because we all know where you are going...

I would have loved to read what you have written but I'm sorry I might develop unnecessary headache.

Is there a possibility that u can make some paragraph for those of us who can't stand words falling everywhere like hailstorm..

There's a difference between polite words like mum, what you are doing is wrong with "straight face" and screaming at your mother. Try and understand the differences in future.

The good book says honour your dad and mum so that....Just complete the quotation. If u don't know it, just Google it. I don't care about the religion that u practice... it's meant for everyone.

As for the girl.. give her the assurance that you are there for her and that u will always be. That if she got any questions, she should ask you. That she is your younger sister and that's how she will remain... Also let her know that she's beautiful the way she is try your best to make it belivable.. but whenever you want to do some exercise, try and include her. Let her do what kids can do even if it's jumping ropes.

As for the last born in your family, call him aside, let him know that the situation the young girl is going through now, she didn't ask for it but it happened to her.. that he too can't predict what might happen tomorrow. I believe he's old enough to understand that..

I wish you a very wonderful wife in future buddy.. u got me emotional..I can't stand where such things were done..

donbachi:
My wife don get belle

Haba!! That was fast... before the lock down or during...? Just saying because I don't think the citizens has stayed up to a month in self isolation for u to be certain...

Unless you have been doing this beautiful, wonderful and amazing job before the lock down..

DanseMacabre:
You need to cut ties with bad grammar too.

I think u are on the wrong section. The Romance Section is just between crime and job/vacancy sections.. There, u will find your age mates

That might be true. All protective gear, that is worn for 3 or 4hours.. and were discarded was not free..food parcel sent door to door to numerous citizens of the state. And so on..

it would have been better though if a break down of the budgeted expenses were given to the citizens

cococandy:
No. I’m agreeing with you.
He would have benefited from something like that for real

Why do I smell 99.88% of sarcasm on this

Just say what's on your mind at least you are not the type that hides your feelings. This time, u are doing a poor job

Mindlog:
For both his physical and mental health, does he have to wait for a lady to change him?

Having nothing as a man does not mean he should ignore his well-being. He is an adult and has to take responsibility for himself but such a person can easily shame a woman for being dirty like him as if being dirty is a male entitlement.

Don't forget the title of this discussion... That's what I was simply referring to when I said some 'ladies might change him..' read again, u will dictate a lot of sarcasm in what I previously posted...

cococandy:
@bold, for real

I don't know.. something to save his life.. just anything... but I don't get u.. are u implying that nothing would have saved him or what?

What has happened has happened... maybe u can consider adoption after birth. There are couples I guess that will love to take care of it.. instead of being sad.. just keep that as an option too

Mindlog:
This is not about struggling financially but someone who is comfortable with disorder and filth. I guess he was never raised to clean up after himself.

But some ladies can change him... or is that saying only applicable to a rich dude?

You know when some of them where bragging about how they met Mr ABC.. they started from the scratch, when he had nothing..She contributed towards making him who he was today .. Is this not a part of having nothing? Or is their a better version of having nothing.

Do a little bit of one month separation... no contact whatsoever.. just pack a bag and rent a cheap guest house somewhere.

1. It is to clear your head. No "funny business "
2. It's to know if they were happier without u.

From there, u will figure out what to do and how to progress. U are not happy, your wife is not happy and the kids are not happy.

Just being a little scarce from them and your environment will do u and them a lot of good... and when you get back, Do not expect an open arm welcome. It is an experiment for u.. observe the atmosphere and get some feedback. From there u will figure out the next step.

But remember to tell the last two kids how much you love them before u go.. They don't understand much at this stage...

12 years.. A whole 12 years of marriage, she just ended it with a freaking phone call.. as if it was 12days.. That's the height of disregard/ disrespect of the highest order. When she got pregnant, she should have disappeared at that point knowing that the baby can't possibly be his... And he stood by her all through the pregnancy to birth..

No matter what the man has done, he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. I wish he visited a therapist for this instead of taking his life.

smiliyB:
No, it isn't love anything...so irritating, beside I have parents too and they don't behave that way.

U are using your parent to define what love is or looks like right? I guess u are not ready for a debate. U have zeroed your mind on what you wanted to hear. So explaining further would be a waste of time.. just stick to what you believe.

ImaIma1:
What if the wife is not moved by the man refusing to eat but rather glad not to stress in the kitchen? Probably one that doesn't really enjoy cooking.

What if he has the type of wife that goes to bed and snores away and not worry herself if he comes home or not?

And also the type that would take refusing to have sex as a break?

There are women like this that won't let things bother them and wait for whenever the husband is ready to communicate his feelings properly.

How will such a man cope when he sees that his tantrums and being ignored?

You know this whole thing is a mind game.. it's just for the spouse to feel guilty based on what has transpired. I know what you were talking about but those species of ladies who will be happy that their spouse went else where to eat.. forsaken her own food is not common. Even at that my sis, Every man knows their spouse weaknesses.. and can use it.. so also the women knows whom they married and can tell one or two things that can make the man come begging.. I know that lots of women does silent treatment more in a relationship... And that draws the man to her to know how to calm her..and reconcile the problem.

worworbabe:
It's a lie. Love would make quarrelling difficult for you. It will nudge at your heart every moment of it that you won't want to ever put yourself or your partner in that situation again. If you quarrel often, what can you claim to love about the other person?

People tends to communicate in different ways. Just like every foreigner that first encountered two or more adult male Nigerians talking loudly the first thing that comes to their minds would be any seconds they gonna kill themselves or each other.
It could be that they were simply talking about soccer or something. What OP sees as fight might not be what was going on.. it might be their way of usual banter.. When a third party comes between them, that person might be surprised on how both of them might challenge him/her or even embarrass the person. .

Besides when you were talking about love being difficult for couples to indulge in misunderstanding, I hope that your argument was not based on the Mexican love movies that was flooding all over the world