₦airaland Forum

Where in Lekki?

I work in a 'technology' industry and we make presentations of our designs from time to time, believe me we do not make these presentations in any Native/Nigerian language, they are done in English, so you can imagine what would happen to a brilliant Engineer who has done a good job but cannot stand before his boss and colleagues to
show them how the design would work!

I admire the poster's determination, that is a good start, but please do not take the grammer expressed on this thread so far as good, just stick to the advice. I have lost count of how many grammatical errors i have observed from responses to your post, and I am not even an expert,

I must also say that you do not go to the University to learn English, if you cannot speak good English before you get there you will likely not be able to do so when you leave except you mix up with the right crowd and that is difficult for someone who cannot speak well, because that 'right' crowd may not want to mix with you. It is sad but that is how it is.

@lawyer

All this struggle just to let us know you are in 'control' and having a 'fun'?

Chei! talk about 'living in bondage'

@HIS GRACE

Is everything alright?

@BAC

Allow me to commend you on your show of maturity, I was afraid when I saw boye/larry's initial response to your post( about being disgusted), I expected another 'Nairaland war'. I forgot that I was on the 'Property' section, where you have the big guys.

Now the two of you are talking about working together. This is 'Diversity and Inclusiveness' in action-different opinions and experiences coming together for a way forward.

Kudos to you guys.

Last quarter of 2007, the Federal government published quite a number of houses in Abuja for sale
which was later postponed for a week to allow initial buyers time to pay the balance of the houses purchased by them.

Since then there have been no other publications (that I know of) on when the house sale would take place.
I keep checking their website but it has not been updated since that time.
Does anyone know what is up?

Please anyone with information should share it, especially nairalanders in Abuja.

Selfishness yields the same results all over the world no matter the method of expression

@LAWYER

What the girl did to you in School and what you are doing currently are slightly different by virtue of your gender, often the male pursues the female.
You chased the girl in School, as a matter of fact from your post, it did not seem like she was keen from the beginning, you 'toasted' her and did not allow her to leave you earlier than she finally did because you always sent people to beg her.

You manipulated her to stay in a relationship she did not want, at the end she had to leave you.

But now in your own case, these ladies you broke their hearts did not chase you, they did not force/pursue you into a relationship, you manipulated them into these relationships just for the purpose of dumping them?
What a pity, we all have questions to answer when we face our maker, which may be sooner than we think.

Almondjoy joy is just being practical, she may be a bit aggressive but I think she chooses this method because that is the only way to get the message across to a male dominated world that thinks a man is man and head of a home whatever he does.

To all the females on this thread who believe they can remain sweet and nice whether their husbands have jobs or not, please wait until it happens, endure for about 1year and come back to the thread to let us know how sweet and sexy you were!


To all telling almondjoy that her suggestions are not practicable in Nigeria, what is not practicable about a man going to another town to drive a taxi to sustain his family?


@Almondjoy

You may have to take it easy on these guys, these mode of thinking you are battling with has been passed from generations to generations. Some men sat under the village Iroko tree many years ago and in the process of playing draft and drinking palm wine, decided what women should do and what they cannot do (to protect their own ego and 'position') and it became tradition!

Like someone rightly said it is simply a man's world.
Every one knows what a wife's responsibilities are and most men cannot and will not accept any excuse
to default so why all these excuses and reasonings for the inability of a man to carryout the only responsibility that a husband is known for?

I say 'only' because I have looked at many homes in Nigeria and I can see that the only thing a man
beleives he should do is to provide financial means which most of them do grudgingly, reminding the wife from time to time, that he is not 'plucking the money from a tree'

If it happens that he cannot play this major role , please what does that make him 'useless' is it not it?

God is God to me because when I was yet a sinner He died for me! That is what makes Christ the head of the Church!

Nigeria1 said if you do not want your useless husband, let him go, there are many other women out there who will grab him, I think that is why many men are useless today, women are desperate for just anything 'so far they call me Mrs'!

@Londoncool

I need your contact at the 'Project Managers' that handled the Calabar deal for you.


Thanks

@Seun

I agree with you that one should not just do what the society expects of someone but sometimes it is easier said than done.
I am glad that you said one should do that which is better, being in a relationship because of the society may actually be 'better' for you in some situations because being without one may lead you in the path of misery and depression!

So if one is not strong enough to face the wrath of the society unhurt, one had better just flow with it.


It is sad to say this may be the reason for the collapse of many marriages because many ladies (particularly from late twenties to thirties) just settle with the available guy to avoid the 'old maid' syndrome, so when the challenges of marriage come, it becomes difficult to survive it.

@pmdaboh

Very nice analysis.
Have you not noticed that the African society is quick to list what a wife's responsibilities are., but when it comes to the only responsibility an African man seem to have, sentiments begin to fly, you start to hear things like

'He cannot kill himself if he does not have' but no single excuse is acceptable from the woman.

I do not wash my own clothes, so I handle his clothes the same way I handle mine.
Like someone rightly said, there are other things to do with one's time but if you are a man who still
feels this is one of the things a woman is made for,, no probnlem, simply marry a woman who feels the same way!

@All

A PHD is not just a 'paper qualification'

@Almondjoy

Have you noticed that a 2 year old toddler in any developed country can beat a Nigerian PHD holder hands down in any "Spelling Bee" contest? Like getting PHDs is the main solution to the problem of mass illiteracy and cognitive malformation in the collective Nigerian mindset.

I have not noticed (and believe me, I have been around this globe to an extent),please anyone who has such an experience should share it.

@ crazygirl and Hayan

So we are the only Oyo state guys in the house?
I am an Ibadan chic.
Please do not ask for the tribal marks and I am not related to Adedibu o! _{before you people start to ask all sorts of questions}

@SEUN

I cannot remember coming across a guy who bothered to find out the source of the Sugarmummy's money before sleeping with her and collecting it.

@All
In as much as I am an advocate of female independence, I sometimes wonder --------
Since many guys eventually get bored in a relationship and move to the next one, why would the girl not go for one that she can be assured of some benefit/gain when the guy moves on? or is any of you guys married to the first girl he slept with? _{just wondering}

People who have left the show are those with friends but not fans.
You need fans to win this kind of thing and it is the likes of Pasuma and Omotola who have the crowd

Omowunmi, Zizi and Bryan's friends will be too occupied with other things to send a text

I travel with these guys once, Afriqyah or something.
It is a libyan airline, not fantastic, but not expensive either
especially if you are short of cash and need to travel

@Robbie Lex

I will be surprised if you do not get the job, I think you have the right approach, attitude and what it takes to work in Shell. Let us know what happens eventually.


@Others yet to undergo the interview
Please go through Robbie Lex's post on what to expect at the interview, it is relevant for SITPtechnical too.

I just got a list of property from one
Yetunde Ogunleye
0702 818 9309

It is attached. You may call her if you like anyone of them

Stinginess in a man comes with all sorts of other vices.
Some men take advantage of an undemanding female to just takecare of their own selfish desires.
Someone said Moni should not talk about a gift, why not?
She is not asking for the expensive and unaffordable stuff
she just wants a simple gesture of love.

There can be no love, I repeat no love without giving!
Like someone says it is a matter of priorities, if a girl is very important to a guy, he will share what he has with her even if he is trying to set up a business of his dreams.

The bible even says your heart is where your treasure is.

It is this sermon of 'do not ask for a gift' that has landed many sisters with selfish brothers/husbands who do not have the capacity to think of any other person apart from themselves.

I think one of the reasons that divorce affect the children so much is that, the parents try to manage the relationship until they end up hating each other so much that you can feel it from miles away.

The woman is so full of bitterness and anger that she cannot together with the husband make the right decisions about how the kids can be properly brought up in the new circumstance (of divorce)

The reason she is bitter is that she waits and takes soooooooooo much from the guy, she is beaten, humiliated and treated unkindly that anytime she casts her mind back she hates herself and life.

Nobody prays for a divorce, but please women try to have a life.

May God help us.

I felt your pain when you said 'i wept like a baby'
I have been there, I know how it is.
I thank God that He has turned it to a testimony for you as He did for me.

Glory be to God!!

I beg people this will not lead us anywhere, religious arguments have never led to anything.
Let us just focus on this woman in Sudan, it is just that it is difficult to do that without considering the fundamentals of what put her in this situation.

Thank God we are not seeing each other phisically, some punches would probably have been thrown!

@muslims in the house,
When the nazis first started the massacre of the jews, a number of Germans said they did not support it. But they did nothing, In the end millions of jews were slaughtered. Its not enough to come on the forum and bleat about how Islam is a religion of peace. Get off your backsides and do something about it.

Sweetchick--I give you the trophy for 'best post!'

idupaul:
Why do people continue to taunt Islam when they know that these folk do not like it. For godsake there are a thousand names out there to name a dolly bear( what happened to names like CHUCKY,TEDDY,PILOT INSPECKTOR). Although i preach tolerance, i still say people should desist frm frm toying wth Islamic themes n all because @ the end of the day it brings about trouble, and innocent people in cities like Kano mite just get hurt, please if any one has any thing to name ,u can use my name , i wont be mad.

idupaul---I give you the 'second best post'. This thing happens all the time, by now people should have learnt to let this people be, the teacher should have been seriously drilled on islamic believes and not allow her 'western sense of democracy'(asking the children to vote) to land her in prison.


@Davidylan,

I am afraid to say anything concerning your posts, make I no come disgrace myself for here!
I need to go do a PHD first.
Thank you so much for the info, if I did not have the priviledge of your well structured argument, I would have had to  settle for half truths out of ignorance.

@Albato


In  cases where the 'bread winning' role changes and the woman takes over that role for one reason or the other? What happens to her own role?Who does it for her? or she continues with those roles plus the additional one and die at 50 like many Nigerian women are doing now?

What then is the husband for?

Please send more info on the Gbagada block of flats to dolapee2000@yahoo.com

Chei! did you just say ' a friend of my'?
Please tell me it is a typo (error)! or you are simply trying to be funny

@Olanajim

It is a pity that a woman is blamed for her own wrong doing and also for the wrong doing of her husband.

"I believe the poster must have been a factor in strenghtening her husband insecurity. She can't treat her husband as her student and still expect a faithful husband. My guess is that the husband is silently seaching for replacement hence his infidelity"

Haba!!!! you already know that from the information provided by the poster? Na wa o

When a woman is raped, it is quickly said that she must have asked for it by dressing/behaving in a particular manner, a woman covered in from head to toe was raped in Saudi Arabia and the authorities decided to give her some strokes of the cane for talking to a male stranger in the first place.

Maybe if Olanajim was there, he would have asked them to double the number of the strokes!

@D-Chair

Thank you very much o, I wan run wen I see the abuses.
Ki la gbe ki le ju? ( What did we steal that the punishment is this much?)
What dablessed is accusing me of is what he/she is guilty of.

I beg I am sorry, like D-chair said, I am just passionate about
my country and maybe get over sensitive when people try to insinuate that
that we are all bad because of the level of indiscipline in the country.

The only reason many people pay tax and bills abroad is because they cannot get away with it, not
because them better pass us for Naija!(although we get our own problems sha.)

@dablessed

Thank you for making your personal experience available for other people to learn from.
I am sure it has made this issue more real to people.
Your suggestion about knowing your to inlaws well before marriage is very critical.