₦airaland Forum

conyema12:
My brother in-law who is my wife's only brother lost his wife late last year due to kidney problem. She was just 29yr old, they were married for only 3 years and blessed with a 2 years old daughter, same age with my daughter. During the burial ceremony the girls mother hired some touts and police men to cause problems and whisk the little girl away from my in-laws, claiming the boy was instrumental to her daughters death . However they couldn't succeed. It was agreed for my wife to go with the little girl pending when the matter is resolved. This just happened less than a week and the matter hasn't died out.

Now my inlaws are suggesting for the little girl to live with us and start school for now till the long vacation holiday (June).

My concerns are:

1. I am of the opinion for the matter to be fully resolved in a police station with agreement duely signed before she can settle in my house for now...

2. I am also seeing it ad a huge burden on my wife. We already have 2kids and it's a mouthful at the moment.

3. The brother will have to be financially involved


Pls I need suggestions on how to handle this so my inlaws won't see me as not being helpful.

Both my inlaws are retired and comfortable in their own house

1 Your in-laws can not suggest anything to you without 1st asking you directly not via your wife but them sending a family representive to talk you

2 Its not your problem, but a problem
between your in-law and their other son-in-law, those two families should iron things out without involving you, yes you look after the child while thing being sorted but its not your issue to be tied to the father of the child is there he has to sort out the issue

3 Why your in-laws are avoding the child, since you say their are retired and live comfortably ?

4 Let your wife and her family sort out a way forward with their other son-in-law, without you being a option as their people who are meant to step in before, you step in aka the father and his relatives is that most nigerian culture you say kids belong to husband so lets see the relatives of the father step in to help the child

Selfkontrol:
How can I find a good and matured man for my single independent mother. (She’s 46)
I am a young guy in my 20s and I just recently rented an apartment that’s just like two hours drive from her because I need my own space and privacy and to hussle as a man.

I lost my dad when I was still a teenager but before then my mom and dad where separated. (He married other wives thought)
Truth is deep down I knew my mom never wanted me to rent the apartment but I had to make that decision and move out for my sanity because I can’t do any reasonable thing in the Godforsaken state I am so I needed to move out and start life as a man

The problem now is I know for sure my mom will be lonely. She has already started disturbing me to take her to my house I rented even when I have not packed in lol. She had other relationships that I knew of but non worked out. She’s overly spiritual too and believes you have to seek the face of God for a man lol. That made her loose a good man that I know. Her reason was she had a bad dream about him lol and a pastor told her he’s not her husband and so many bullshit

She’s not into social media so that option is ruled out.
It has to be physical. She needs a man in her life before she start invading my privacy because of loneliness
She doesn’t have any female friends. She ends up having problem with them at the end.

He life is just church and business. Infact she’s mostly in church. So please guys if you have any good idea and advice, kindly drop. Thanks

you are pimping your mum

lahizak:
U are partly wrong. A doctor is a professional. When you come in for a malaria test, d doctor will not just take ur word 4 it, for example u might think u av malaria and end up aving sumtin else. So the doctor will conduct a test and during the test, the lab result will show the causes of the malaria or wat u tot to be d malaria, if the test shows that the malaria is as a result of pregnancy, den d doctor will inform u but if the malaria have nothing to do with pregnancy den the doctor wont say anything about pregnancy.
Just imagine in this kind situation, d doctor just do malaria test and he ended up giving u drugs not knowing u re pregnant and d drugs end up affrcting the baby, wat do u tink will happen? Note that there are some malaria drugs dat a pregnant woman cant use

you are wrong in such situation the doctor wont do the pregnant test based on the medicine that they might give you but they ask you if you are pregnant or suspect to be pregnant, if yes then they give you an alternative medicine

a good clear example if am allergic to penicillin, the doctor doesnt do a penicillin allerg test but give me an alternative drug

Omobada:
MY brother, your comment is full of contradiction and moreover you're just beating about the bush... You have to clarify whether you based your position on common sense or legal provisions. Because from your comments so far, you don't even know what it's meant by law...For your information, you can only successfully fight for your right within the ambit of the appropriate laws and there's no existing Nigerian laws which says that husband's properties should be shared equally by both parties at the dissolution of marriage whether such marriage was conducted traditionally, through registry or otherwise...Judges don't decide matters merely on the basis of common sense rather they do so relying on the provisions of relevant laws... Take care

like i said show me were law supports your point

EteBabaagba222:
I understand your points but I do involve 3rd party after I have try reason wt her. She's d type that everything she do is write. I can't remember when she apologized last.

having a third part works if both of you agree on the person to be involved

why can you both sit down and try to be different in trying to solve your misunderstanding yourself

the moment you start reporting each other of the negatives, those people will only see the negative only, therefore its not healthy

Learn to solve your own issues or learn to understand that we you disagreeing and than forcing someone to agree

remember the phrase "AGREE TO DISAGREE" it basically means realising that you can not agree therefore 1st acknowledge to each other that you can not agree 2 either leave the issue at that moment and give each other time to reflect each others view on the subject 3 try to find a different approach than the one you used before

See things this way "does your own mum and daddy report each other to their respective parents?" am sure the answer is no it means they found ways to solves problems without reporting each other

Omobada:
Can you please share the authorities that back up this your submission with me.I mean, Nigerian legal provisions to buttress your assertion that at the dissolution of marriage the parties are to share husband's properties equally. As a lawyer, I seriously need it. Thanks

1st lets separate types of marriages

1 civil marriage aka court registered marriage, where by law what was aquired during marriage shall be distributed by the courts as it see fit and

1 A traditional marriage whereby both families accepted your traditional marriage, those people shall be your witness via default of being there on traditional marriage ceremony/gathering, proof via video and picture

Since you are a lawyer show me where it says, woman divorce from a traditional marriage should be given anything that she aquired with husband

2 if you read carefully i didnt say its law but it common sense, but people dont use it because there is always someone bitter when a couple divorces hence most men would want to take everything away from the women

3 with your 5 senses would you thing women would want to be married if they knew that husband can simply divorce you and you go back empty handed like the way you come in ?

4 When laws are not being enforced it doesnt mean the laws doesnt exist, most divorces from traditional marriages are dealt via tradition route which favours men, but it doesnt make it right and these are the same people who are less informed about the advantage of registered marriage therefore, they dont even know that they can challenge traditional
kangaroo rule. If they knew they would have done a registered marriage

donbachi:
The problem with most of you married women with mother inlaws...you people enters marriage seeing a mother inlaw as an enemy already without any form of war or battle....if na ur broda ur mama dey go give dat food,u for no see am as a problem..rather,u go say ur mum is so attached to ur bro or na mother and son love...or mum does dat to u at ur office...do ur own make d woman do her own.dat u are married to him does not mean he should stop every thing with his mum...u sef go be mother inlaw someday.

why are you twisting what has been said ?

face the facts stated than diverting to your own version of the story

picture this, does your father leave food home and go and pick up food cooked by his mum every working day of the week?

they say "Good food is a way to a men's heart " the mum-in-law is depriving her daughter-in-law to win her husband's heart with her cooking
a good cook is one of the qualities that a man look for in a wife, if the mother-in-law takeover the cooking how do you expect the wife to feel ?

another angle how would you feel if every family decision that your wife should make, she has to tell her own daddy, would you feel as the head of the house ? or you would think your wife doesnt take you as the head of the house ?

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

Two things that can answer this question

1 people sometimes tend to study the past and present and in the present they find what is trending as a new culture, may be the guy has seen this burden of being 1st child and the responsibility that put in your shoulder especially from low income families

2 Every family differs may be the guy wanted to understand your family dynamics and your answer the would give him a clue of the general dynamics of your family

Justcome:
I will make this as short as possible

There is this tenant that we gave quit notice since 2018 because of inability to pay the house rent. Up till now he has not moved out, we handled the case legally and its still in court till now.

This is the 3rd year that the man and his family have stayed without paying 1 naira because of our poor judicial system, we are still hoping the court will eject them this year.

Now there is another tenant that is very close to the man's wife, she did not pay 2019 rent and she was given quit notice 6 months ago to leave before December 31st, up till now, nothing has happened, we think she wants us to open a legal case so that she can stay for some more years free of charge like her friend.

Please what can we do concerning the two tenant situations?

The house is situated in Lagos. Ayobo area to be specific

you dont need the courts to evict a tenant if you have gave them a notice period that is within the a period that a court would give, lets say law requires you to give a notice of 3 months, if you gave them 6 months you would have gave them more than what the law would have gave.

After the notice you have the right to kick then out, the only trick is to how to give them the notice and make them sign, to say they receive it, because you have to prove to the courts that you gave the notice and they received it which would be shown by their signed signature and date

GodwinBlessed:
Please I need a very serious advice. I am about resigning from my work place. Here is why.
For years now I have been jobless and at home. Last year I relocated to Lagos in search for job. Few months later, I got a teaching job with one of the biggest private schools in the city and the pay is good.
I was assigned to teach primary four. I have been doing my job very fine. But here is my problem.
There is a young girl in my class who is ten years and looks really matured. She is ayebo type. She is very beautiful and I always lust over her.
Whenever she licks her lollipop during break time, I fantasize her sucking my dick. I am always tempted to have sex with this girl but I will consider the consequences and hold myself.
I used to talk dirty with her and she told me she has a boyfriend but she has not had sex before.
Last term her mom called me to keep home lesson for the child but since I know what it might lead to I gave her an excuse and rejected the offer.
I am very close to this girl to the point that other children in the class say I like her more than them.
Since the resumption of this term, I have not gone to school. My employer has been calling me. I lied to him that I am ill and will resume next week.
I am thinking of resigning if that will keep me away from the girl.
please I need advice.

mods help me push it to front page thank you.
Lalasticlala
Mynd44

in the western world your are a paedophile

talking dirty you are grooming the poor girl

dochenaj:
I don't understand how the guy could command another adult to wash his clothes irrespective of the relationship even if she were a younger sister (her marital status aside) or a wife.

You probably are not good at doing laundry, I get that. Hence you should implore on the other person and come to an agreement.

If the sister had agreed to wash the clothes initially and changed her mind without informing him, then I see her wrong. But she didn't even answer him and he assumed that was a "yes".

He's crying because he was disrespected, but "respect is reciprocal" they say, and that's the golden truth. He didn't respect her as an adult (probably older than 21) and hence doesn't deserve to get the respect of an elder brother.

true

i believe that the moment you are of age of dating aka the average marrying age there should be a very mutual and respectful relationship between a brother and sister irregardless who is older. As grown ups no more treating each other as kids, kids are asked to do chores because thats how they get taught chores of how to keep a house clean etc, whereas at the age that both you can marry there is no more demanding someone to do things for you but you ask in respect. In return a good brother would give the sister money or something here and there as token of appreciation because generally brothers dont wash close for sister

this boy looks like is the only boy and he wants to play the man of the house to the two young sisters and it seems the he fought is tired of his bullying with this senior thing

Plead:
Us judges are very stupid sha....someone got to find out the kid(s) he has been paying child support for aren’t his and they still want him to continue paying. I don’t know if that is heartless and plain stupidity.


Guns are legal in the US,right? If I was the man I’d simply get one and kill those motherfvckers then go to jail.

its process you have to go through, to stop the child support, it doesnt mean if DNA shows that you are the father then automatically you stop child support no. The guys name has to be taken off the child's birth certificate and this would be done through courts request and procedures once its done then he stops paying because is nolonger the legal father

MrBrownJay1:
back in the days yes, men would be silly enough to sign the birth certificate blindly, but today before you sign on the dotted line you must be 110% sure about paternity (and sadly nobody can give you that kind of confirmation).... especially if you guys are NOT Married.

its because the generation before didnt know better, it is now the duty of our generation to teach the young one, to say go for dna if there is any duty

MrBrownJay1:
true but nobody should sign any paper until they are 100% sure that they are the father. for a few dollars you can now be set about being the daddy or not, BEFORE signing the birth certificate.

check LAUREN LAKE PATERNITY COURT on youtube, and you will be amazed at how many will shout that there is NO OTHER MAN that can possibly be the father, and when the dna test say otherwise, they now say:" oh yeah i know who the real daddy is".

i get you but nearly 99% of the time, the guy would be in love without any suspicion so he signs

Also not knowing the law, aka signing as the father means you are the legal father, irregardless as not being the biological father.

bukatyne:
Let it be made cheaper.

its now a bit cheaper but people still have that mentality to say its expensive

And remember the one who has doubts is the one who pays for the test which is usually men

MrBrownJay1:
thats the sad fact about the US system/policy on child support....

any man who is dumb enough to sign the birth certificate without a having a DNA test (to prove that he is actually the father of that child) will have to pay for that child....and if it takes 10yrs before you realize that child aint yours, all the money you have paid will never be refunded to you.

most men sign because there told that their are the father and those men would not have doubts of being the father, if not they do but can not afford DNA test, now DNA tests are becoming cheap but before they used to be expensive so many people still have that mentality that DNA is expensive so they dont go that route

bukatyne:
Can't Legal topshots push for a change?

Paternity fraud should be a crime punishable by law.

If the mother is not sure because she had multiple partners, the honorable thing would be to conduct a DNA test for all the possible fathers.

Strong arming a man to pay for a child he did not father is as terrible as an irresponsible father absconding.

If the law recognizes the latter as terrible and seeks to redress, it should also take into cognizance the former.

DNA test is not cheap, if it was cheap most women would do it quietly

IyaTola:
RIGHT_OR_WRONG?

An infertile woman married another woman for her husband, problem was, she was already few months pregnant before she moved in. The man was informed and he accepted and adopted the child as his son. 15 years down the line, the man died and later the mother of the child died. On the death of the man, umunna called on the boy to bury his father. He performed every traditional rites the tradition and culture demands of a first son, and went extra mile to please the community. Nothing, I mean, absolutely nothing was left out. It was remaining the first wife that took the child as her own and trained him up. 30 years down the line, the woman became very old and called their umunna to bequeath her death husband's inheritance on her child from the other woman, since that was the only child she can boast of.

A year or two later, she died and the boy, now a man as demand by culture, performed all that was demanded of them.
Now, development has encroached into the landed property the young man inherited from his parents and they have become very costly and vast land is left undeveloped, from their family build. The same umunna came to tell the boy that he doesn't have right to those properties, reminding him that his mother was already pregnant when she came.

This young man is shocked and confused. Going by Igbo tradition, does he have right to that landed property? Going by culture, is he a stranger in that community?

i reply as foreigner, what does the "umunna" got to do with a family agreement ? the died father accepted him and raised him so was the step mum

so why the dam umunna making a decision over a family issue ? and where are the relatives of the father ? what do they say ?

i see greedy from the umunna

Omobada:
Are you talking based on Nigerian laws or foreign laws. because in Nigerian laws there's nothing like that.

its common sense, like i said people you traditional rule to their advantage

poor education or not knowing your rights contribute to all this where men get away with everything

sure in your right mind, you spend 20 years in traditional marriage that both family accepted you and took part in traditional marriage ceremony, you cooked, for the nigger, nursed him when he was sick, gave him children, looked after the house etc

You think the wife should just go empty handed simply because she married traditional, is there any abuse which higher than this

The problem is when people divorce, they use anger to think sort of punish each other, for registered marriage its easy to settle the difference and the divorce its self has to be done at the courts

traditional marriage they still have rights too though not fully protected by courts, but still a challenge can put through the courts

its unfortunate that half of those who marry traditionally dont know their rights and most are poor to find lawyers to fight for the little they have

bekpo:
My dear, this can only b possible if d marriage was contracted under d law. As it is, the marriage was contracted under d native law n custom. Except she produce credible evidence to show that d investments were jointly owned. What if d second woman get him contract a marriage under d Act? She will loose out completely because d second woman hold better title. My advice: let her stay put if d man ain't violent on her or d kids, if he's violent on her or d kids, she should take that up with d authorities ASAP. 27 years of marriage ain't a jock.

thats how society make us thing therefore we think, that she cant get anything, imagine your sister gets married traditionally both families witnessed the ceremony and she was just house and the marriage produced 5 kids.

15 years down the line, your sister wants divorce and she doesnt deserve what they both contributed to the 15 years of marriage? Was the men cooking, washing, house chore etc for himself? the Answer is No therefore she deserve something irregardless that she was just a housewife.

Its abuse my friend to send back with nothing after spending so many years as married people, no woman would want to be married, if she should be told first hand that you get nothing if we divorce.

Its stupid men who sees it ok because he is the one benefiting but would do the same if it was your sister

2special:
Always a complicated issue,there are questions only your mom can answer by seeing a Good lawyer and what about your extended families, what are they saying about the divorce issue.

its not complicated at all if we take out corruption, she get half of what they aquired during the marriage

The problem is that most people are not educated to know their basic rights in marriage

And cultural route is biased towards women

Beosten:
I married a very mature, educated woman. But as a person who grew up fighting many battles -- financial, spiritual, physical threats from land grabbers etc -- there is almost no sphere of life I have no adequate knowledge of.

I'm a very libral person and will never force my opinion on anyone. So, my wife always gets away with taking decisions that will affect both of us--affect both of us in the sense that they were life threatening decisions; I will only get hurt for losing a loved one. In all the cases where she went against my advice, she regretted, wept profusely and I spent a fortune because of her folishness.

I love this woman more than anything on this planet. But it seems she is not ready to learn her lessons anytime soon. There are some decisions that even if you consult Socrates and Plato about, they would ask you to go ahead; but I have this gift of astral premonition and presaging dreams, and can tell, from miles away, the decisions that will backfire.

So, should I start forcing my will on her to avert dangers?

you got answers and solution

all already but you dont see it

you do acknowledge that she is mature and educated and i conclude that in getting that education she went lots of hardship, therefore i think she is always in defensive mode which is not good in making decisions

the education, she is educated now but went through hardship, her decisions also might be quick without really thinking through because she might be trying to prove a point thats she is educated.

lts like dating a woman coming out from an abusive relationship, instead of taking as you are, any small mistake you, you treated like abusive ex

so your need to calm her down, by asking her to think through, and ask her how she has come to that decision, this is before execution of the decision and you also have to explain how you think our your own decision, built her confidence in taking time to think through

she seems to be in defensive thinking all the time

Gaggi:
Take charge, no matter how educated and intelligent a woman is, they need our guidance. Not that they are dumb, they let emotions sometimes override logic.

Never leave life changing decisions to a woman. Leave the interior decor and such less important decisions to them. You've been warned.

Nigerian men you love your ego too much,

You sound as if every step all the way women need our guidance, we got lots of women who are better qualified in the fields than men and never need guidance from men to pass.

Women are not given opportunity, because of traditional roles we give them but we are equally inteligent.


the only way we differ is how to process and deal with emotions, but that doesnt measure intelligent and decision making


if men were better at making decision no family would be poor, no tribal wars, no civil wars, no world war etc

Decision making is not s gender based thing, women only having periods

Somethings are natural gift

TheLaughter:
I and my girlfriend have been dating for about some years now, we have been good. We have encountered ups and downs but we pulled through. We plan together and execute things together.

Recently, I indicated plans for marriage but my people didn't give consent. They said she isn't my destined partner. According to them, they have prayed, saw in prophesies and visions that she isn't the one...

I happen to speak with one of the prophetess on phone and she repeated what she told them that she is not my wife, that I should pray, that my wife will come.

I am finding it hard believing all these but at the same time I am mindful too. I have been asking myself questions if what they are saying is true. They said I will encounter all kinds of hardship if I continue and many other things the prophetess said.

I see her as God's creation too, why will God allow such happen to me just because I married someone He created too.

I don't believe all these prophesies but at the same time I just want to ask if there could be any truth in this destined partner stuff. Thanks

since they see it in spirit thats she aint the one why cant the spirit point the right one?

there is always bias, when someone choices for someone, as humans you tend to pick your personal preference, than what the person your choosing for likes.
Most relatives always like a person they think can control its either control directly or that person humbles him/her self too much that one thinks s/he is in control of that person.

There are also people who always want to be involved in every major decision of other people and place themselves to sort play major role, in every big decision one makes and if there are not part of it, they always try make your own idea a bad decision, they want you take their own advice which makes it as if it wasnt them you would be were you are etc

Back to your story why the prophency point the person and whats thats they see wrong in her

freecocoahubby:
Yet another useless, senseless and idiotic post created for the sole purpose of bashing men

"Men this, men that" una no dey tire? Go fvck and marry yourselves then since men are the cause of your miserable existence. Idi0ts!

Come o, @lavylilly.. aren't you the same LillyVal who got exposed in romance section for being a teenage pr0stitute runs girl? How come you've now turned counsellor of married men in the family section?

Wonders shall never end on this site.

you are missing the big picture

its not about men bashing but (to me )

depriving your own wife quality time with you what do i mean general, there is no freedom to relax in her own way, daughter in law are expected to be lovely reserved person etc and also looking after someone you never grow up with or seeing is hard unless proffesionally trained thats creates a bit of a war between your wife and mum especially if she a bit old, old people tend to be grampy

Each family should find a way to look after its own without depriving the young couple their own time to love and time with each other


sure where is love if i marry you and send to village to look after my parents,

Crystasluvee:
I totally disagree with this skol of thought. The moment you say I do to a man. Instinctively your family ties doubles. Ur spouse family becomes your. Which implies your dad is now 2 and mum also doubling.

I do not believe your tend to their needs out of mere courtesy but outright responsibility. Do your husbandz /wifez kins the way you want then the reverse to do to yours.

Two they say small become one. When true love beckons you won't mind all this things you hold so dear as duties but selfless act of love to those your call parent irrespective spouse they belong.

If I do marry you, I will do unto your folks what I do to mine without second thought cuz WE ARE FAMILY

your missing the other point

even if the two families are now taken as one, the husband/wife has to lead you in how to take care of his parents, because s/he has to discuss first with his/her brothers/sister and then these brother/sister have to take the agreed way forward to their own respective husband/wives

And thats when you tell your wife/husband what have been agreed in looking after your own parents thats when two of decide on which contribution or role to play .


this thing of two families became one is con, very few in -laws visit each other, i dont mean daughter/son in law but the parents of couple visiting each other

People are very funny and narrow minded with this culture this culture thats

Where was culture when the two where having sex ?
Where was the culture when the two family couldnt come to an agreement ?

Am not saying culture should be throw away altogether but we need to analyse each case thats shakes and challenge culture

I understand the OP anger and his attachment now wonder he called the girl his pet

Back to the issue, by law the child belongs to both, i believe the child is now in uni therefore she is above 18, she can choice who she wants to talk to and associate with. In developed world there is room by law to back pay the child maintainace to some degree But our case here is nigerian one backpay is Zero here.

Denying her access to her father, would damage the girl emotionally, she needs to see her father for he is and not to be told (sometimes people change over time may he has changed)

Remember the father was as young as the mother when she fell pregnant, roughly meaning his parents had more say than him and now he might seen, thats his parents decision or influence were not good

Then the cultural side, i am a zimbabwean i dont know any nigerian various tribal culture, but most (zimbabwe shona tribes culture), the daughter belongs to the father as per lineage of the family tree and spiritual part (Will explain the spiritual) but it doesnt mean she has to be physically with father or his family, the child can still be raised by the mum's family but, when the day to be married (the girl ) the dowry which is meant to go the father direct will then pass through the girls mum family side (the one's who looked after her), they will take what her own father was meant pay as bride price,

Depending on how bitter is mum family they might take all or leave little for the girl's father, thats depends on what relationship and development has happened over between the two families

I mentioned the spiritual side, the main reason, they (shona culture zimbabwe ) still say the child belongs to both irregardless of the father rejected the child(pregnancy) is that each family has its own spiritual believes demoans etc, so in the event that the girl gets married or even not but she starts having spiritual problems from her father side, it would be easy for the get to visit her father's family and sort out those problems

Then its now of culture in zimbabwe to pay what we call damage, this case suit the damage culture, the father comes in ask for access to the child he is asked to pay damages before any official meeting with he child

Many people here are focused on the anger towards the father non are focusing on what the wants, thats why you find most men in court loose the custody of a child because they focus on themselves via culture rights etc and not focusing on the needs of the child

bukatyne:
This thread is about men na.

A lot of men are really suffering and they do not have help as much as women.

Even NGOs named abuse centers (without the women tag) would prioritize women and children.

In Nigeria, the face of domestic violence is still women.

i didnt deny men suffering

Rigel95:
They constantly nag, abuse their men emotionally, frustrate them,rile them, until they reach their breaking point and snaps or do something silly. So they turn around to scream blue murder when such happens. Let me paint a scenario.

Growing up, we once had a family that moved into the next flat. At first they seemed like any normal happy family, until we hot close to them.

The woman was the type that would always want to have the last word in a discussion/argument. The man dared not enter the house any minute past 5:30pm, the woman would constantly nag him, oftentimes singing these Iyaaladukes insulting songs(Yoruba people would know) about irresponsible husbands. In fact, I lost count of how many times that man would come to stylishly collect garri from my mom under the pretense that they forgot to buy garri from town (we were living in a new site) while actually it was the wife's policy to deny him food anytime he comes home after 5:30pm, meanwhile you would never suspect that woman was like that, she was the perfect wife outside. We got to know from our friends (their kids) that it all started when the man lost his job at The Nigerian Steel rolling company ( even though the man was working in a sec. School in the meantime). Meanwhile, during that time, the man never raised his arms against the woman o.

Fast forward some months later, the man found a job in a multinational company, impregnated another woman and took custody of his three kids forcefully. Most people who didn't know the real situation of things then, were calling the man names for abandoning the woman who "stood by him through thick and thin" not knowing the man was virtually living in hell before.

Ever wonder why many men die quicker before their time? It's probably as a result of emotional abuse from their women.

a woman would also write the same story

compared between men and women

mostly women suffer in abusive marriage simple because they got no where to go

remember without knowing most african culture encourages marry young

just imagine a girl of 21 marries without and 10 years down the line she finally call it quit, she has threes kids and she only hold an "O level" certificate

society looks down on divorce and she has to start from zero to look after herself financially

Ahamefuna0001:
Matured minds please.

I'm a 25years old aguy who who just completed my NYSC and got a job which pays me 50K monthly salary. I paired with a colleague at work to rent a single room self contain.

I have this mixed feeling that am over due to have a fiancée. I don't know if this feeling is wrong. I'm I good to have a serious girlfriend or fiancée at this stage of my life?

you can not talk fiancee, when you dont have a girl or relationship

financee means a girl you have engage to marry meaning by western tradition you have put a ring on her promosing to marry her

by most african tradition it means both you have introduced each other's respective families and ready to marry