@poster
you dont really have any problem as far as I am concerned. It is just one of those events that shape us as humans and also allow us opportunity to know who our partners are. Fir of, your ex is clearly still in love with you and she is a material girl.

As for your gf, she has every right to act that way because the setting as you narrated is a perfect set up for infidelity and deception by men. However, that doesnt mean you have done anything wrong either, provided that you actually didnt meant to cheat on her.

My little piece for you is this...

Stop the begging and allow the storm to calm. Call your gf best friend who is coolheaded and can understand.. Not one who is a fool and will join in raining curse on you. Explain to the girl and make a simple request of her facilitating a meeting between you and your gf. Once this is done, calmly explain what happened..and try to ensure you clear the gray areas...

Openess is important just as trust. You see, put yourself in her shoe, and let the event happen in reverse order... Will you not have reacted that way? Dont be selfish and dont be paralized with fea r of lost.

If you do all you can and she still refuse to bulge... Leave her alone and stay away from both girls. Unless you are desperate for something.. If you are real and not selfish.. You can do it. You will always find someone who love you. For sure, your ex will still be stalking you and you gf will also be licking her wound..

Hey, you said you are jobless... This is good news! Simply concentrate on being somebody and they will fight over one another to have you have you back!

wages of sin

the same nairaland that belittled his ambition some months back,

heya, Hello home, been a while, god bless u.
Iice
mukina
ikamefe and co

@poster,
I quite empathise with your situation. I think you have done your best as a wife and moth.

I suggest that you act as if you dont know and set a trap for him so that you will have undeniable evidence that you can sue to make a final decision.


It is obvious that something secrious is going on behind your back and you need to be really smart to get to the root. of it

well?

it is well!

I am wondering how kanu will be shuttling between jis club and Imo state to advise the Gov on matter at home. I bet it was an after-thought

the last time I check, the moderators of this page are Bakare supporters. So why are you guys making up conspiracy theory?

God help us!

I dont know who opened this, but I can say that SOYIKA has retired from public life, he will no more be making public comments on such issues again, it is time you guys start grooming a new Soyinka

What is teh update on this topic?

Any update on this topic?

It old but it meet what a friend is looking for? Anyone with clearer picture?

Can seun put like and unlike button on nailand so that we can just stop dissipating our energies on usless posts by clicking "unlike" at least such posters will get the message faster than when we reply

@uplawal,
I have been away from nairaland for long,

I have read your replies to the posts and how you started the conflicts. My first reaction is to lambast you for being rude, but I think it is best to let you know that you are wrong and your conduct is not islamic at all, I observed that Ify is not even replying you with harsh tones, this show that she mean well and want peace, whaever apology you may have rendered, cannot remove the fact that your words created the conflicts,

insulting people who ask simple questions is not in Islamic teaching,,, there are lot of examples in the hadith where people have come to ask even unreasonable questions and teh prophet told the companion to always be polite.

I think right thinking people should stop wasting time repling insults. As i used to say, IT IS USELESS TELLING THE DEAF THAT THE MARKET IS ABOUT TO CLOSE. WHEN THE MARKET IS EMPTY, HE WILL PACK HIS WARE AND GO HOME. Why must you guys even bother to reply? Guys, we dont need to reply all insults. the diffrence between kids and adults is that kids reply everything.Adult know when to ignore kids that are throwing tantrum.

Peace, be still.

This guy is becoming a laughing stock,

@poster,
Congrats! You are moving!

Hello!
Iice, muki, and ika. Just checking you up.

Keep up the good works.

One love

The issues is not as simple as that.
1. Fbk relationship status is important. You can say it is your private life but it isnt. The only way to make it private is to hide it. That is what I do. When there is nothing there, observers would either mind their businesses or ask you.

2. Putting "single" on ur status (when u can easily hide it) is like advertising yourself. If you are not single, and u put single there, you mustnt blame guys who come to you for relationship.

3. Putting in a relationship can be dicey. Many people do that to to keep toasters away. And many are real. It is not my business to find out whether they are real or not.

4. Engaged and Married are however something else. One must be careful when changing status to them. Why? Because if something go wrong, the whole cyberspace will know! I am in agreement with a poster who asked you whether you have a feeling that something could go wrong. That to me, is very important.

So my input is that, if your guy is real and you both knw that the affair is heading to marriage, sit him down and talk to him.

Ask him:
Why he want the status changed
Why he cant wait til you both marry or are ready to marry before announcing to the world.

Perhaps he is suspecting you, peharps he just want to be proud to be related to you. In his response to your questions, you will know the truth.

My question to you:
How come you are engaged for months? Any plan for marriage?

It really doesnt matter what your families think. As long as you are not legally married shit can happen. Engagement, to me is a step to marriage and not an extented courtship as many people tend to see it. Several months of engagement is not healthy. It is either you are not ready or are not serious. You dont get engaged when you aint ready or serious. Get real!

@sweetniola,
Who ever tell u that communication doesnt matter is surely a kid! Contrary to what many people think, it is communication that sustain relationships. Love is not possible without it just like everything depends on it.

The second thing to note is that, many of us think communication simply means talking! As a result, many are those who talked themselves to heartbreaks. They talk every hours, some every 3 days thinking that will strengthen the union, yet they never had enough! Why? Because they are not communicating!

I want you to revise your proceedure and ask urself whether you are communicating or just talking. Both does not mean the same!

Btw, is the guy living in the same town as you? What is his job? And what kind of man is he? Is he straight or someone who like to beat about the bush?

so we still have people like the poster?

@kokoye,
No long thing. Tell the lady the truth about the man and advise her to milk him dry until his eyes are opened. Instead of her being the victim, let him learn a lesson or two.

She must ensure that his wife know he is a useless husband! That way, he lose on both sides.

But if your friend has no liver, tell her to beware!

@stella,
Tell the lady to be careful!

Saying sorry to the man isnt going to answer her question. What she need is a short time to reevaluate the relationship.

Something tell me that is not all about the story.

I will be careful not to judge the man. But if the naration above is true, then the lady should start looking for plan B.

Gosh!

Some folks still vote IBB, I cant help but laugh! nairaland is indeed Nigeria!

My TV will naturally be on "mute", That is if I bother to watch the match, The Tv has been crying for attention for months and I think World Cup is a good opportunity to show that I can watch TV,

However, it will be on "mute" to allow me to other things, unless my people overrule my order,

@Aishatu
Hmmm truth is bitter

@busy_baby,
Been a while.

the guy is not mad. He was drawing attention to something we all know-prostitution. I may not be happy that he didnt look at how yerima got the girl (which to me is unislamic), he certainly was right in asking us to use our energies on those child prostitutes as well.

For yerima to marry the child, he divorce a young wife, who must be in agony by now. This to me is against the real laws. He deserved to be stoned to dead!

babapupa,
I am sure you are the one that deserved that comment. I am more of an insider than you think. Always think before replying posts. I am sure the things you typed are the rubbish!

I drafted a memo for the Nigerian Institution of Civil Engineers in support of the light rail project. Unknown to you, and your cyber-commentators, the project is facing some problems. I should know better since I drafted the memo, which was meant for the FG. Also we have close link with the CCECC. So, in my opinion, the airport is a white elephant project and will gulp more money than stated.

If Fashola is truly focus, he should know that he cant just build a airport without FG approval and that it is best to sort out the problem with light rails before going into another project of even greater challenge.

FYI, no one can operate an airport unless FG through her agencies permit it. And no where in the world will airport operates without air traffic controllers etc. You cant tell me that if FG waged veracious war against Lagos Independent power project(which died anyway) due to refusal of nepa to cooperate, and also against the use of Nigerian railway track and route (which is yet to be fully resolved), then it, FG, will simply conceed a airspace like that. Surely, most comentators are misfit when it come to commenting on issues like this. So many things needed to be done before announcing the project. Just like the IPP, and the light rail, I am sure Lagos state first dazzle public opinions before contacting relevant authority. That is why the project may fail or suffer another lengthy extension with attendan waste of resources.

Looking at the geographical size of lagos, from profesional angle, the airport is useless and will only benefit the rich who are in hurry to get to their location. The best will have been to have helicopter instead!

Anyway, it is good to have #73b airport when our schools and medical centres are begging for attention. It is in Nigerian culture to waste time and money on bigger problem that tackling smaller ones.

if your love dies after marriage, or your love fades after kids start ariving, then you must have either married the wrong man or married for the wrong reasons.

3kids?
That is not new for men that married early. What she must ascertain is the status of the man's marriage. To me, I think it is best she stop the drift if the man is too mysterous to be understood.

personally,
I think it is wrong for fashola to build Airport in Lagos. We have domestic airport and international airport both of which are under utilised. He should invest the money on light rail and stop aiming at too many ambitious projects at once.