HandsomeBlack: Hmmm. A rich guy can come from abroad and head straight to marry a semi-educated girl in the village. Same is not true for the ladies. An educated and/or financially independent lady will seldom marry a man who has not attained her level of academic/financial status. Naturally, she desires to marry a man that is higher than her in status or at least in same status with her. Unfortunately, most African husbands can't stand the guts of a wife that is better than them academically or financially because the later will revolt the traditional headship and control exercised by the former, thereby bruising his ego often.
TrunnionNews: A very pretty Nigerian lady has done her self good by acquiring new qualification.
The young lady celebrated her graduation by posting some beautiful photos on her Twitter page.
Many Nigerians rushed under her comment section on Twitter to congratulate her and to also shower praises on her beauty.
A young Nigerian lady identified as Maryam Musa took to her Twitter handle to announce her acquiring a law degree and becoming the latest law graduate in town.
Maryam whose institution is yet to be verified captioned her success as "Achievement unlocked" and also went on to thank God for the great success.
She shared the photos of herself wearing a lawyer's wig and gown.
Many Nigerians rushed to her comment section to shower praises on her and many guys told her how beautiful she looks.
michlins: Do not marry any girl less than 25yrs. That's all I know. At that age, they are yet to understand what and how their body works.
There are girls who are less than 25 and good but what's their number and what are the chances that you will meet one of them. After series of heartbreaks, that's when they will develop some level of compliance and make choices between a good guy and a Bleep boy
I have witnessed first hand how the son of men and the daughters of eve commit this travesty in God's house. And it is common with the members of the choir * especially the youth choir in some quarters.
Lifedonor: I will have to go straight to the point.
The lockdown due to covid 19 made my girl friend and I bond even closer to the extent she practically was almost living with me. She only leave my place to her house (not too far from mine) just to change her clothes or her other items as the case maybe. Sometime along the line I fell ill and she was very much helpful.
Fast forward to early May, I discovered she had become too glued to her phone. We would be seeing a movie on TV and her phone will be with her (chatting) at a point I complained. This got worse to the extent that when I wake up in the night say 1AM this girl is still up charting.
Two days ago I went to the hospital for my final check up and I left with the keys since she wasn't around when I left the house. When I got back I found her small Nokia phone on the table and I decided to go through it.
The messages I found there are things I won't want to talk about but the major one that promoted this thread is that I saw a message from her choir member telling her that he is on his way to church already and that she should come fast before the program starts so they can meet. I went through his previous messages with her and lo and behold they have been dating for a month now.
Guys when she got back I threatened fire and brimstone and booommm! The confession. They usually meet an hour before choir practises and they went behind the church towards the generator house to kiss touch and romance that was the reason she always left the house so Early.
Do you guys know that we had a very good sex that same day she left to the church to kiss this guy. Do you know she bathed in my house, she used my deodorant, she ate my food and wore the clothes I bought for her. Apparently she kissed and romanced two guys in less than 3hrs.
This is the second time she is cheating on me. I know quite sure there could be more but this is the only one she agreed to may be cos there was a text evidence.
She has been pleading and begging. But if she could do this even in the church and on a day I was in the hospital ... I am thinking of quitting. Pls advise me
She is 22 in her finals the guy is 25 same university (I live in a university town)
I have met her parents and I have verbally told her that I would marry her. If not for the way 2020 turned out I wanted settling down November this year. We have dated for 2yrs
She even spoke to my mom in the morning of the same day.
I knew it would have something to do with a church choir boy and girl undercover love making.
Finally last night she called me and was still pleading so I went to her place.
The door was open and I walked in only to see her crying so badly. I talked to her and avdised her this talk went on for almost 4hrs.
I finally forgave her and decided to take her in again. But on the condition that she leaves the church. Its a redeemed church and its just here i n our area. I told her to join me at my branch (same redeemed) or she should choose any other church and that I was going to follow her.
To my shock she agreed to change she promised nothing of such can happen again and that she still loves me but can't change her church. She still wants to remain there and work out her salvation... I told her if that is the case then the relationship can't continue and that I was going to leave And then block her from my WhatsApp. She agreed and I left then I blocked her.
It Hurst still but I would remain like this
Modified*****
She finally came to my place this morning. Though I did the calling. She has agreed to change the church and attend mine. I must say that I wasn't regular with my attendance in church. She also pointed that I have to be steady with going to church too.
Conclusively we are back and better .. Everyone should know that it takes God to have a peaceful and fulfilling relationship. I may sound weak but hey! I know why I had to go through this to get her back. I have equally cheated to the point she caught me pants down. and I really haven't been paying attention.
Guys the alpha male should a time to reflect too. Its saves a lot.
Karda20: I'm disappointed in you. You went to her place to beg her? You met her crying? Have you ever heard of "emotional manipulation?" That's one of the dangerous gift Satan gifted ladies, probably when they discussed in the garden of Eden. You're being manipulated.
Guy, you need high dose of red pill.
No matter how beautiful a girl is, my relationship with her ends immediately I catch her cheating.
Do you want to destroy your life young? Do you even fear deadly STDs? Your priority for now should be testing yourself for any possible STDs you could have gotten from her. Grab a copy of "The possibility of Sex" by Alan Roger and set yourself free from stupid ladies.
agboifeanyi242: An Unidentified Lady has caused big stir and Panic as she stands without clothes on in the front of a Chicken Republic Store at Ilupeju Bypass in Lagos State. The Lady stood without changing or moving from a place, according to reports, she refused to allow anyone to cover her and would not allow them to move close to her.
Her unyielding attitude has caused many people to fear and they are really getting worried about her mental State. Many people who saw the post are already suggesting that she could have been used by a Man she went out with on Valentine’s Day. However, no actual report has been given about what really went wrong with her .
Philipmighty: Is She Telling Me Truth, Please Your Advice Are Been Needed, I'm Confused
Guy's please I'm confused here, there is this girl i started dating last year December, she really loves me and i know that? Have asked her of sex for sometime now, but she keeps telling me she is not ready for that.
Her story goes this way that she was raped when she was 7 years old by there neighbour then, and the guy was arrested and later realised after much pleadings from his people, and ever since then her mother have been so closed to her even up till now due to the rape experience, and more over she also told me that she has dated three Guy's before me, and they all broke up because they are all after sex, and she is not ready for that, and now after, talking to her, showing her true love, making her to believe me that I'm different from other guy's out there, and she has now agreed to give me sex when next we see, only on the condition that whatever happens, I shouldn't leave her, no matter what even if she gets pregnant for me, but the truth still remains that i don't actually need the sex, i just what to know if she is telling me truth.
But the problem now is this please how will i know that she is telling me the truth, that she has never had sex ever since then, as I'm yet to trust her on that aspect, this rape experience happened 12 year's ago.
How will know she is telling the truth, cus I'm ready to find out the truth by all means
AnonPoet: I decided to try out an experiment in January of 2020 and this video is the outcome. I put aside extra money in a couple of Nigerian Fin-tech apps and in this video, I cover 5 apps that I regularly use to save, invest and make money in the Nigerian fin-tech space. From the experiment at the beginning of 2020, I was able to save an extra $10,000. I share all of that and more in this video.
How I made over $10,000 with these Nigerian Tech Apps
The first app I talked about is called Quidax, It's an app I used to buy & sell crypto. and it's been quite swift as well when it comes to transactions. I've received payments in form of BTC a lot just 'cos it saves time � On Quidax, you can trade (buy/sell) quite a number of cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. Ethereum, XRP, Dash, and Litecoin. I also loved the fact that I got an email authentication for every single withdrawal, might take a second but it's basically more secure. They've got an exhaustive FAQ page you can check out if you have any questions (FAQ: https://quidax.com/faq)
2. BARTER (Virtual US Cards):
Barter was one of my favourite apps of the bunch. They give you a virtual US Debit card, complete with a USA Address, tied to your name. I use Barter to pay for online subscription services that don't allow our Nigerian cards. I use it for my Adobe, Apple subscription, and more stuff. Keep in mind that it costs $2 to create a new card and $4 to create a gift card.
3. PIGGYVEST (High-interest Savings):
PiggyVest needs almost no introduction at this point. When I asked about apps that worked for people financially in Nigeria on social media, this was recommended a lot. PiggyVest is an app I "highly" recommend for people who are serious about their finances and saving. The Safelock feature on PiggyVest helps you lock funds for a long period of time allowing you to stay true to a financial goal. You can keep adding to it and it can actually accumulate to a substantial sum. Not only are you saving but, you're also earning a decent amount in interest, depending on how much you save. It's one of the apps I use on an almost daily basis.
4. BAMBOO (Invest in US. Stocks from Nigeria)
One of the apps I really like using is the Bamboo app. It's a straightforward app, you can simply buy/sell shares of your favourite US company listed on the stock market, right here in Nigeria. The Bamboo app also has a large library and glossary if you want to read up and learn the basics or learn the ropes of buying your first stock, investing and everything in between. Another app you can use to Invest in US stocks (even Nigerian stocks as well) is Trove I love how the app displays categories, everything is easy to reach and they have a vast amount of assets as well (now including Cryptocurrency)
5. RUBIES (100% Digital Bank)
As the description reads, Rubies is a full-on online bank. You can do the everyday transactions you would normally do on your banking app and even more. You can request a card, creating a savings plan and become an independent banker. I like that the transfer fees are just 10 Naira regardless, I also like that your phone number can also be your Rubies account number. All in all, it's a well-rounded app that I use and would recommend.
Which of these apps do you use or have you just discovered? Also, which have you used and would recommend other people try? Comment below ��
Wealthy people avoid overspending by paying their future selves first. They save 20 percent of their net income and live on the remaining 80 percent. Among those who are struggling financially, almost all are living above their means. They spend more than they earn, and their debt is overwhelming them. If you want to end your financial struggles, you need to make a habit of saving and budgeting what you spend. Here are some sensible ways to budget your monthly net pay: ▲Spend no more than 25 percent on housing, no matter if you own or rent. ▲Spend no more than 15 percent on food. ▲Limit entertainment—bars, movies, miniature golf, whatever—to no more than 10 percent of your spending. Vacations should account for no more than 5 percent of your annual net pay. ▲Spend no more than 5 percent on auto loans, and never lease. Ninety-four percent of the wealthy buy instead of leasing. These folks keep their cars until the wheels fall off, taking great care along the way so that they save money in the long run. ▲Stay away from accumulating credit card debt. If you are doing this, it’s a clear sign that you need to cut back somewhere. ▲ Think of savings and investments as two completely different things. You should never lose money on your savings. Try to stash six months of living expenses in an emergency fund in case you lose your job or your business goes belly-up. ▲ Contribute as much as you can afford to a retirement plan. If you work for a company that matches your contributions up to a certain percentage, great. Always take that free money when you can get it.
2. Don’t gamble. Talk about a sucker bet.
Every week, 77 percent of those who struggle financially play the lottery. Hardly anyone who is wealthy plays the numbers. Wealthy people do not rely on random good luck for their wealth. They create their own good luck. If you still want to bet after knowing the risk, use money from your entertainment budget.
3. Read every day. Reading information that will increase your knowledge about your business or career will make you more valuable to colleagues, customers or clients. Among wealthy people, 88 percent read 30 minutes or more every day. Just as important, they make good use of their reading time: ▲ 63 percent listen to audiobooks during their commute. ▲ 79 percent read educational career-related material. ▲ 55 percent read for personal development. ▲ 58 percent read biographies of successful people. ▲ 94 percent read current events. ▲ 51 percent read about history. ▲ 11 percent—only 11 percent—read purely for entertainment purposes. The reason successful people read is to improve themselves. This separates them from the competition. By increasing their knowledge, they are able to see more opportunities, which translate into more money. Comparatively speaking, only one in 50 of those struggling financially engages in this daily self-improvement reading, and as a result the poor don’t grow professionally and are among the first to be fired or downsized.
4. Forget the boob tube and spend less time surfing the Internet.
How much of your valuable time do you lose parked in front of a screen? Two-thirds of wealthy people watch less than an hour of TV a day and almost that many—63 percent—spend less than an hour a day on the Internet unless it is job-related. Instead, these successful people use their free time engaged in personal development, networking, volunteering, working side jobs or side businesses, or pursuing some goal that will lead to rewards down the road. But 77 percent of those struggling financially spend an hour or more a day watching TV, and 74 percent spend an hour or more a day using the Internet recreationally.
5. Control your emotions.
Not every thought needs to come out of your mouth. Not every emotion needs to be expressed. When you say whatever is on your mind, you risk hurting others. Loose lips are a habit for 69 percent of those who struggle financially. Conversely, 94 percent of wealthy people filter their emotions. They understand that letting emotions control them can destroy relationships at work and at home. Wait to say what’s on your mind until you’re calm and have had time to look at the situation objectively. Fear is perhaps the most important negative emotion to control. Any change, even positive changes such as marriage or a promotion, can prompt feelings of fear. Wealthy people have conditioned their minds to overcome these thoughts, while those who struggle financially give in to fear and allow it to hold them back. Whether you fear change, making mistakes, taking risks or simply failure, conquering these emotions is about leaning in just a little until you build up confidence. It’s amazing how much confidence helps.
6. Network and volunteer regularly.
You’ll build valuable relationships that can result in more customers or clients, or help you land a better job if you spend time pressing the flesh and giving back in your community. Almost three-quarters of wealthy people network and volunteer a minimum of five hours a month. Among those struggling financially, only one in 10 does this. One perk of volunteering is the company you’ll keep. Very often the boards and committees of nonprofits are made up of wealthy, successful people. Developing personal relationships with these folks will often result in future business relationships.
7. Go above and beyond in work and business.
Unsuccessful people have “it’s not in my job description” syndrome. Consequently, they are never given more responsibility, and their wages grow very little from year to year—if they keep their jobs at all. Wealthy individuals, on the other hand, make themselves invaluable to their employers or customers, writing articles related to their industry, speaking at industry events and networking. Successful people work hard to achieve the mutual goals of their employers or their businesses.
8. Set goals, not wishes.
You cannot control the outcome of a wish, but you can control the outcome of a goal. Every year, 70 percent of the wealthy pursue at least one major goal. Only 3 percent of those struggling to make ends meet do this.
9. Avoid procrastination.
Successful people understand that procrastination impairs quality; creates dissatisfied employers, customers or clients; and damages other nonbusiness relationships. Here are five strategies that will help you avoid procrastination: ▲ Create daily “to-do” lists. These are your daily goals. You want to complete 70 percent or more of your “to-do” items every day. ▲ Have a “daily five.” These activities represent the crucial things that will help you get closer to realizing some major purpose or goal. ▲ Set and communicate artificial deadlines. There’s nothing wrong with finishing early. ▲ Have accountability partners. These are people you team with to pursue a big goal. Communicate with them at least every week, and make sure they hold your feet to the fire. ▲ Say a “do it now” affirmation. This is a self-nagging technique. Repeat the words “do it now” over and over again until you begin a task or project.
10. Talk less and listen more.
A 5-to-1 ratio is about right: You should listen to others five minutes for every one minute that you speak. Wealthy people are good communicators because they are good listeners. They understand that you can learn and educate yourself only by listening to what other people have to say. The more you learn about your relationships, the more you can help them.
11. Avoid toxic people.
We are only as successful as the people we spend the most time with. Of wealthy, successful people, 86 percent associate with other successful people. But 96 percent of those struggling financially stick with others struggling financially. If you want to end your financial struggles, you need to evaluate each of your relationships and determine if they are a Rich Relationship (with someone who can help you up) or a Poverty Relationship (with someone holding you back). Start spending more and more time on your Rich Relationships and less on your Poverty Relationships. Rich Relationships can help you find a better job, refer new business to you or open doors of opportunity.
12. Don’t give up.
Those who are successful in life have three things in common: focus, persistence and patience. They simply do not quit chasing their big goals. Those who struggle financially stop short.
13. Set aside the self-limiting beliefs holding you back.
If you’re hurting financially, you’ve probably told yourself some of these untruths before: Poor people can’t become rich. Rich people have good luck and poor people have bad luck. I’m not smart. I can’t do anything right. I fail at everything I try. Each one of these self-limiting beliefs alters your behavior in a negative way. Almost four out of five wealthy people attribute their success in life to their beliefs. Change your negative beliefs into positive affirmations by reading lessons from the greats of personal development, like Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie and Jim Rohn.
14. Get a mentor.
Among the wealthy, 93 percent who had a mentor attributed their success to that person. Mentors regularly and actively participate in your growth by teaching you what to do and what not to do. Finding such a teacher is one of the best and least painful ways to become rich. If you know your goals, find someone who has already achieved them. You’ll be amazed by how many people want to lend a helping hand.
15. Eliminate “bad luck” from your vocabulary.
Those struggling financially in life have a way of creating bad luck for themselves. It’s a byproduct of their habits. Poverty Habits, repeated over and over are like snowflakes on a mountainside. In time, these snowflakes build up until the inevitable avalanche—a preventable medical problem, a lost job, a failed marriage, a broken business relationship or a bankruptcy. Conversely, successful people create their own unique type of good luck. Their positive habits lead to opportunities such as promotions, bonuses, new business and good health.
16. Know your main purpose.
It’s the last Rich Habit, but it might be the most important. Those people who pursue a dream or a main purpose in life are by far the wealthiest and happiest among us. Because they love what they do for a living, they are happy to devote more hours each day driving toward their purpose. Odds are, if you are not making sufficient income at your job, it is because you are doing something you do not particularly like. When you can earn a sufficient income doing something you enjoy, you have found your main purpose. Believe it or not, finding this purpose is easy. Here’s the process: 1. Make a list of everything you can remember that made you happy. 2. Highlight those items on your list that involve a skill, and identify that skill. 3. Rank the top 10 highlighted items in the order of joy they bring to you. Whatever makes you happiest of all gets 10 big points. 4. Now rank the top 10 highlighted items in terms of their income potential. The most lucrative skill of all is worth 10 points. 5. Total the two ranked columns. The highest score represents a potential main purpose in your life. Presto! As you can see, the differences between rich and poor are simple—sometimes intuitive—but not insignificant. Aim to take up all 16 of these habits, and you’re almost guaranteed to become better off.
mysidechick: A Forbes-rated young Nigerian billionaire and CEO of Invictus Group, Obinwanne Okeke has been arrested by America's Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) over a $12 million (N4.3bn) fraud.
It is not clear how he made the list of Forbes’ 100 Most Influential Young Africans 2018, it should however be noted that he founded the Invictus Group of Companies, an investment conglomerate dealing in construction, agriculture, oil and gas, renewable energy, telecoms, and real estate. Invictus Group operates in three African countries, Nigeria, South Africa, and Zambia. His company was named as Africa’s Most Innovative Investment Company of the Year by African Brand Congress in 2017.
He was arrested last week on the last day of his trip to the United States for allegedly defrauding top American companies of huge sums. Notably, he allegedly scammed $12m from a steel company by hacking into an executive’s office365 account and sending an email with a fake invoice to the purchase department. His arrest came after Special Agent Marshall Ward of the FBI and the team he heads opened up an investigation in July 2018, following a petition by Unatrac Holding Limited.
The charge sheet reads in part “In June 2018, Unatrac Holding Limited, the export sales office for Caterpillar heavy industrial and farm equipment, headquartered in the United Kingdom, contacted the FBI. They reported that Unatrac had been victimised through an email compromise, which ultimately resulted in fraudulent wire transfers totalling nearly 11million US Dollars. After reviewing the documentation provided by the representatives, the FBI opened an investigation in July 2018.
"The FBI discovered that after capturing the legitimate credentials of Unatrac’s Chief Financial Officer, the accused was able to log in and access the CFO’s entire Office365 account, which included all of his emails and various digital files, the logs indicated that between April 6 and April 20, 2018, the intruder accessed the CFO’s account 464 times, mostly from Internet Protocol (IP) addresses from Nigeria.
“With full access to the account, the intruder sent fraudulent wire transfer requests from the CFO’s email account to members of Unatrac’s internal financial team. The intruder also attached fake invoices to the emails to enhance the credibility of the requests,” the investigator stated. The investigation, painstaking and far-reaching, lasted more than a year during which Obinwanne emerged as the principal culprit and has since been arrested while on his regular visit to the United States."
Before his arrest, Obinwanne Okeke was a celebrated businessman who had a 'grass to grace' story on Forbes. The arrested suspect is said to be the 17th child of a polygamous father who died when he was 16, and he reportedly moved from one relative to another before moving Australia where he “did all kinds of jobs just to survive.” He became a viral sensation after he got featured in 'Forbes Africa’s 30 Under 30' list in 2016.
The young Nigerian who accepted an offer to be a Contributor for Forbes Magazine and published his first essay in May 2017, has however been arrested by the FBI for allegedly being a fraudster which is popularly known as 'yahoo-yahoo' in Nigeria.
•Nigeria surged to second highest crypto destination in the world raking $200 to $300million a week without underlining economic activity, alarming the CBN
•FG alarmed kidnappers had switched to bitcoin for ransom payments
Karles: I have been reading the posts on this thread on the banning of cryptocurrencies by the government and have been wondering and asking myself why people make the comments they make on the subject of cryptocurrencies someone even mentioned that bitcoin was a Ponzi scheme and I am utterly shocked about this statement.
Now, Blockchain technology has been there for a while even before bitcoin but it was Satoshi Nakamoto, hope I got the name right, that brought it into the limelight by improving it. He began work on it by 2007 but by the time the global financial crisis hit he went from conducting an experiment to building a whole new technology that was intent on disrupting the corruption of governments worldwide. He needed a decentralized system, more like a peer to peer thing that could force accountability of governments. Have you ever wondered why it is hard to fight content piracy? Simple. Torrents. A peer to peer technology that shares content worldwide. Bringing down a few servers won't stop torrent because its a peer to peer thing. I some, you have some content, they have some content then you bring together to form a whole new file. This is the same system that bitcoin is using. A peer to peer system consisting of miners, wallets sometimes miners that also serve as wallets.
The government is talking about anonymity but have people have thought that bitcoin can force governments into accountability. Have you? It's true. If the government claims to have spent money on so and so. How can we trust them? Is what they are saying true? Did you that in addition to being encrypted, bitcoin is also an open ledger system? Instead of telling how much is the federal reserve, they can show a crypto address and we will see if they are honest or not? Did you know? If blockchain technology is used the way it is meant to be used governors' corruption would be so reduced. They should stop talking about criminals using it to finance crime.
If you don't know anything about Bitcoin. Read up https://bitcoin.org/en/. I had to add it for people who call it a Ponzi scheme. If after reading you want to own a mobile or laptop wallet that has no need for Bank Verification, ID verification and you want to experiment by holding a few tiny bitcoin just download https://wallet.bitcoin.com. You can hold up to 100 BTC if you can and nobody will know if you do your due diligence. If you own a website or an online store on Wix, Shopify, WHMCS, WordPress, woo-commerce you can connect your bitcoin address on your wallet to this website http:///3rGKBWH also with no verification whatsoever. You pay only 1 percent per transaction and it is you that must ensure that you pay it or the payment process would stop. They don't collect your money by force.
Guys, bitcoin is an interesting payment system, it will force corrupt governments to wake up. The government is only angry that they can't tax you on crypto. As a matter of fact, their drivers might even be millionaires without their knowing it. Just pray to keep your coins and don't get hacked. That's all.
ValuedKen02: It almost seems as if the CBN just woke one morning and decided to ban the use of bitcoin and other altcoins in Nigeria. The news came as a shock not just to fintech companies who have built their whole system around crypto but also to individuals who have invested in cryptocurrencies.
BUT there is more to this that you should know. Here is a summary of the situation and recommendations going forward.
In February of 2021, the CBN issued a letter stating that banks are prohibited from transactions with companies that deal in cryptocurrency. This led to massive devastation nationwide and huge losses to businesses.
In the last five years according to QUARTZ AFRICA, Nigeria has traded over 60,215 bitcoins valued at $566 million with only the U.S trading more. Last year, estimates from Buycoins show that the value of bitcoin traded in Nigeria stood at $200 per month. That's more than the Nigerian Stock Exchange( $131 million per month) in Q2 2020. Get a more detailed breakdown here: https://linksly.co/qbs0g
So what was the motive of the CBN?
It is known that the country's currency hasn't been doing well in the past years, hence the decision to ban bitcoin in hope of strengthening the value of Naira. This decision comes with policies from the CBN concerning the use of crypto and other foreign currencies.
Also, with the history of Nigerian's being linked with online fraud, this decision can be said to also be a medium to curb digital fraud coming from Nigeria.
The ban on crypto has hugely affected several fintech startups and virtual banks( Providus Bank, sure you have heard of them).
So what's the way forward? Well, Nigerians are known to always find their way around things and this won't be an exemption. Check out the link below for the best recommendations going forward. Check out this video where you get the whole detailed breakdown on the crypto ban in Nigeria: https://linksly.co/qbs0g
AbijaJ: All those mentioning Sowore don't know what they are talking about. Sowore would become a monster if he tastes power, due to his 'saviour complex'. Most African sit-tight dictators were once either 'freedom fighters', or 'activists'. Even Musevini himself was one of those that helped chase Idi-Amin from power, only to become a sit-tight dictator himself.
Kwame Nkrumah helped Ghana gain independence, only for him to want to become president-for-life till he was toppled by the military.
Chiluba of Zambia is another case in point, there are also Mugabe of Zimbabwe, Isaias Afweki of Eritrea, Kagame of Rwanda, Fidel Castro of Cuba, etc.
Sowore already shows traits of intolerance, which when mixed with political power would see him quickly transformed into a typical African know-it-all tyrant and dictator. All of them be the same.
As always, I stumbled on this blog and decided to share this article. It is non-religious, just the author's 'opinion' on Alpha males, one of the favorite words of our resident males
Here we go: When you google the words D/S relationship (meaning dominant-submissive relationship), the first association you have is probably one person dominating the other in the bedroom. However, dominance in the marriage is much more than dominance under the sheets. It actually means a lot of things, but most importantly, that one person in the relationship has more control than the other.
When we’re talking about the dominant husband, it means that he is the one who is in charge, the one who makes all the decisions, and the one who is listened to. It means the husband wears the pants and is the head of the household—just like it was in the old days; that his attitudes and points of view are respected and obeyed, without further questioning.
However, a D/S relationship is in no way an abusive relationship, and it doesn’t mean that men get all the privileges. Instead, it is a full-time job which brings more responsibility than you might think. It means that the man is the provider, the protector, the one who takes care of the woman and of the entire family, and that he is the one who carries all the life’s weight on his shoulders alone.
One of the famous dominant husband quotes says: “A truly submissive woman is to be treasured, cherished, and protected for it is only she who can give a man the gift of dominance.”—Anne Decals.
Contrary to feminist point of views, even today, more women than you might imagine would like to be submissive and dream of paying attention to their husband’s needs and making sure he is satisfied. Many are looking for a life partner who will have what it takes to dominate them and who will allow them to be a submissive wife. However, finding a dominant husband isn’t all that easy because most modern men don’t have the initiative and strength to take over the leadership position in their relationship.
That is why numerous women ask themselves: “How to encourage my husband to be more dominant? How can I inspire my man to turn into the alpha male I need? What can I do to become a submissive wife and to make my man the dominant one?”
Well, the answer to these questions lies below.
If you’re a woman who is looking for ways to transform her man into a strong, power figure, just push him into following this step-by-step guide to building a dominant personality.
How To Become A Dominant Husband
If you’re a man looking for ways to gain control and dominance in your marriage, we have a solution for you! All you have to do is follow this beginner’s guide for becoming the alpha in your relationship.
1. Work on your self-esteem Being a dominant husband means much more than being the leader in your marriage. It is much more than having a partner in a submissive position who does what you say and follows your every order. Instead, this process of becoming a dominant man includes alot of things and first of them is high self-esteem. No, this doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to turn into an egocentric, selfish asshole in order to take over the dominant role in your marriage. However, you can’t expect your wife to admire you, trust you, and put her life into your hands if you’re a guy who has no or little confidence. You can’t expect her to believe in your skills and abilities if you don’t have faith in yourself in the first place. Most importantly , you can’t expect her to respect you until you start respecting yourself,, and you can’t wait for her to start seeing you as an alpha male before you perceive yourself in that way. There is no point in trying to build a dominant personality if you allow your insecurities and fears to get the best of you. For example, if you are constantly worried that your wife might leave you for a younger and more handsome guy who earns more than you do, you’ll project your fears on her, and she’ll notice that you see yourself as not enough. Consequently, once she sees that you don’t value yourself, she’ll start questioning your worth, as well. After a while, you’ll unwillingly convince her that she can really do better, and she’ll go and look for that better. That is why you have to start working on your self-image before everything else. You have to reprogram your brain into thinking that you’re the strongest, most capable, and most valuable man in this world. Yes, if it is necessary, become a little cocky and stuck up. Even though this is not the most desirable personality trait, the truth is that most women fall for it, whether they like to admit it or not. This is especially important when you’re meeting a new girl. Show her that you have no doubt you’ll win her over but that you won’t humiliate yourself by begging her to be yours. When you go out, act like you own the room. Make her realize that you’re perfectly aware of your numerous qualities and that there is nothing she could ever do to destroy your self-esteem. I won’t lie to you—not a single person is at the peak of their confidence at all times. However, the key is to pretend that you have faith in yourself, even when you don’t. This doesn’t mean you should invent another personality just to be more likeable to the girls. I’m just advising you to mask your insecurities. Do your best to act like they don’t exist when talking to the opposite sex, and with time, I assure you that they will really fade away.
2. Don’t let her change you Let’s face it—when a woman enters a new relationship or gets married, she is likely to see it as a fresh project. She probably sees you as a child she should raise: teach him how to behave and help him become the man of her dreams. Most men accept these changes without even being aware of them. After all, they’re so crazy in love with their wives that they’re ready to do whatever it takes just to make them happy. In fact, most husbands are convinced that the way to earning their better half’s respect and love is through meeting her every demand. Nevertheless, what they don’t know is that they’re probably making the mistake of their lives and that behaving like this will never make them an alpha male. However, when you’re a dominant man, you know who you are, and you’re not ready to change your ways to please your woman (because that would mean that you’re the submissive one). You make it very clear to her that you are not an immature boy she can play with and that you don’t need a mother because you already have one. You show her that you’re a fully formed individual who won’t allow anyone reshaping him. You are not ready to change your ways and to make any crucial differences in the core of your personality just to be more likeable and loveable to her. After all, she always has the choice of accepting you for who you are or to leave if she thinks you’re too much to handle. She has the choice to love the real you or to go out there and find some boy who will fit her standards. I know that at first, this approach seems too risky. You might be scared that your wife will really walk away on you if you don’t do as she tells you. However, I assure you that your fears don’t have any solid ground. Not only won’t she dump you, she will be impressed by the strength of your character and proud that she has a real man by her side.
3. Be physically stronger Let’s face it—physical appearance is the first thing we notice about everyone. You know how you need to be attracted to a woman before you decide to make a move on her? Well, the opposite sex is the same. And this especially goes when it comes to dominance. For a woman to see you as a dominant man, you have to show her that you’re able to physically dominate her. I’m not saying that you should ever think of having an abusive relationship to show your superiority because that is without a doubt, the most cowardly thing any man could do. I’m just telling you that you need to be physically stronger than her, so she can be able to perceive you as emotionally and mentally stronger as well. Of course, the best case scenario would be if you’re already taller and physically bigger than your woman. This way, her primary instincts will send her a signal that you can protect her and that she can rely on you. However, if this is not already the case and if you’re shorter than your wife (which is something you can’t work on), there is still hope that one day, you will become a dominant man. You can still be better and work on your appearance. First and foremost, hit the gym, and work on your muscles. Do your best to develop your strength, and make sure she notices it, as well. Start with the little things: open a jar for her, always carry the bags when you’re going grocery shopping, change her tire, and do other things which require physical strength. At first, she might be offended by the fact that you think of her as incapable, and she even might try doing all of these things alone just to show you that she is an independent, self-sufficient woman who doesn’t need a man to help her out. Nevertheless, that is not a sign for you to give up. Trust me—before you know it, she’ll slowly start perceiving you as a dominant man, and she’ll subconsciously start taking over the submissive position and give you the dominant role in your marriage.
4. Be dominant in the bedroom When they hear words like submissiveness, dominance, submissive positions, and D/S relationship, alot of people connect it an abusive relationship where the man hits the woman and where she doesn’t have a say in any decision making process or they connect it only with sex. They imagine a married couple practicing BDSM, dirty talk, other kinky stuff and remember the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”. After all, this is what most results on google will be pointed at: BDSM and dominance under the sheets. Even though this is in no way true—because dominant relationship is much more than one person being subordinate in the bedroom—sex is a crucial part of this type of arrangement as well. So, if you plan on taking a dominant role in your marriage, you have to take a dominant role in your sex life, as well. You have to be the active partner, the one who makes the rules, and the one dictates the pace. However, this is in no way a green light for you to do anything your submissive wife is not OK with because submissiveness doesn’t equal rape. The fact that you’re husband and wife is irrelevant, and just because you’re a married couple, it doesn’t mean that you have the right to do anything she doesn’t feel like doing or that you are entitled to force her into having sex with you. Kinky sex ideas are one thing, but sexual abuse is something completely different, and you should always have in mind not to cross that line. Remember that consent is always crucial and that you can’t start doing anything without that. Having a dominant-submissive sex doesn’t only mean BDSM and being cruel. It doesn’t mean one side being a sadist and the other being a masochist, like you’ve seen it in “50 Shades Of Grey”. What being dominant in the bedroom means is taking charge. It means that you shouldn’t ask your submissive wife if she wants to have sex, can you have a Mouth Gig or even can you kiss her because that is a huge turn off. Instead, you can include a lot of dirty talk before the action. You can tell her things like: “I want you to wait for me in the bed completely naked; Prepare to be wetter than ever before; Come here and suck my dick right now!; You are not allowed to cum until I say so.” Of course, eye contact and the tone of your voice are important here. You can’t show her that you’re scared of her rejection, and you need to act like you won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer. First of all, be the one who initiates sex. Also, if you feel like changing positions under the sheets, do it in a way to turn her around the way you want. There is nothing wrong with pulling her hair or spanking her. You can also put her hand behind her back or above her head, so she feels like you’re in total control of everything that is about to happen. None of these pieces of advice should cause any physical pain to your partner. Instead, they have a psychological effect which—besides helping you spice up your sex life—will help you become the dominant man you are.
5. Be financially stable If you want to have a submissive woman, you have to provide for her and that includes showing her that she can rely on you when it comes to finances. It doesn’t mean that a submissive wife has to necessarily quit her job or that she can’t work, but she needs to feel in the heart like you could maintain her if she ever decides to be a stay-at-home mum. This way, if she doesn’t have to worry about the money, she’ll spend more time paying attention to your needs and finding ways to please you. Once a woman sees that you have a full-time job and that you’re capable of keeping her fed and dressed, she’ll be more willing to take over the submissive role which belongs to her. Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean you should marry a gold digger who is only interested in your money. On the contrary, girls don’t actually look for a sugar daddy (despite what many people might think). They look for a mature man who invests in his career and who doesn’t expect his woman to solve his financial problems. You don’t have to even be a businessman or extremely successful in what you do. Just show her that you have a work ethic, that you’re not lazy, and that you’re capable of being the breadwinner of your family. Show her that you’re not afraid of taking an extra job for example if it happens that you two run out of cash. Most importantly, show her that she can sleep peacefully, knowing that everything will be taken care of and that she will never end up on the streets as long as she has you. Start with always picking up the check when you go out like a real gentleman. Continue with arranging your house finances and with taking responsibility for making ends meet until the end of the month. Trust me—this is not about the money. It is about your submissive wife feeling safe and sound next to you. It is about her listening to you when you say that you need to cut costs this month because she knows you’re saying it for the good of both of you and because she knows you’ve taken financial responsibility. It is about her seeing you as a dominant figure who is in charge of all life aspects.
But i must address your definition of TRP and what you feel it is all about. TRP does not teach men how to game women. There is a whole other teaching on how to game women, which is called "GAME". It is different from TRP. TRP teaches men about Solipsism of women, how to identify it and how to handle it. It also teaches men to put focus and develop themselves. Now, i know i have corrected you before about your definition or what you perceive to be TRP, obviously you did not believe me. So maybe you can download and read this book, ""The Rational Male; Positive Masculinity" by Rollo Tomassi
Also, i like the way you tried to differentiate between modern feminism and the 'so called first wave feminism', those women that fought for equal opportunities. I have stated before, not to you though, that those women never called themselves feminists(i stand to be corrected) they were never known as feminists, rather they were known as suffragettes, there were also others that fought for 'equal pay for equal'.
it is these modern feminists that co-opted their fight and triumphs, in order to gain recognition or whatever and called them the first feminists. If you go back to the past to any of the suffragettes and told them they were feminists, they would not know what you are talking about.
I believe you should have just focused on the true evil, which if feminism, it never was and it never will be a good thing.
Her response in stressful situations. For example, going on a vacation with her, and due to feign emergency, the trip would change and canceled midway., how is her reaction? Also, testing if she is dependable. Like calling her in the middle of a night and ask for a quick favor. (not 2k favor lol) Also, ask her for cash, yep, a lot of it. Faking loss of financial buoyancy due to bad business deals and watch if her behaviors changed. Asking her about her ex and if she talks shit about them. Her relationship with her parents, especially her father.
Her kind of friends, if she is financially responsible by watching what she spends her money on. If she is religious, or submit to a sophisticated belief system. If she lives within her means. How she relates with people she gains nothing from (eg waiters), how she relates with the defenseless (animals and kids) if she can take good care of you when sick. Does she have it at the back of her head to be adorable and accentuate her femininity by eating healthy and keeping in shape?
Giving her handy crafted gifts and see if she appreciates it more or less than money. If she is a social media addict and attention seeker. If she respects things, events, and people that are important to you. Does she give you gifts equally during events such as your birthday? Does she try to impress you? Does she have the mentality that you should be lucky for having her? Is she submissive (not to be confused with being subordinate), can she cook and spice up the home with her feminine allure?
Is she egoistic? (not to be confused with healthy pride). Does she argue unnecessarily to win, or to make sense and pass her point? Is apologizing when she is at fault a big problem for her? Is saying "sorry" automatic or forced? Has she grown past mind games and cheap manipulations? Does she weaponize sex? Does she go beyond her comfort to make you smile? How is her childhood like? (to know people deeply, you need to study their childhood), Can you be vulnerable to her? Does she carry herself with grace, and do not derive pleasure in provocative dressings?
Do you find yourself pleasing her naturally because her femininity shines out the masculinity in you? or she makes you do the things she wants by force? Does she let you lead? Is she complimentary to your life and brings opposing energy that flourishes the relationship? does she contribute to the growth of the relationship by playing her own path? Can you be yourself in her presence even if you wear a mask navigating the outside world?
Most importantly, a woman will naturally do most of these things and be on her best behavior if she chooses you. Do not ever try to convert a woman that has not fallen in love with you to do all this, it will be a disaster. Go where you are loved, and the woman will naturally submit if you are playing your part right. So do well for yourself, develop yourself as a man, so you'll have female abundance and leverage to set standards.
For now, this will do. If she passes a reasonable amount of this test, congrats. You got yourself a queen.
Godoverevery: Someone posted a thread on how his brother wife threw is things out because he cooked for a friend who visited and everyone was telling him to find a way to leave the house, is wrong for him to enter her kitchen bla bla bla..
This my question if it was her siblings that did the same would she throw his things out??
Most women are just wicked ,self centered and greed ....this happens in most home... women don't want there in-law visiting is only there people that are welcome.....they want to control the home. Kitchen is only an issue when the in-law enter to pick anything but if is there own relative you won't hear anything. My own older brother wife did same to our last born ....she always complaining anytime she visit for few days but her own bro/sis will visit for months without any complain.....my sis haven't step his house for like 3yrs now because of that issh.
Let always speak the truth when we give advise instead of being economical with the truth.....it wasn't because the guy cooked for his friend she threw is things out ....is just wickedness of most women... they don't want to see there in-laws....they want to cut the husband family off for there selfish reasons but if anything happens is still the same people they run to. This things happens alot and very annoying..... Only a foolish man take such rubbish from is wife.... YOU THROW MY SIBLINGS THINGS OUT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION YOU ARE GOING TO YOUR PARENT HOUSE.
Note : I can never choose my wife over my family neither can I choose my family over my wife.
No wife can make me misbehave to my family....no family can make me misbehave to my wife.
You should be able to easily tell. This is why you "court or date", so you can "discern" people before you get hitched. With careful observation and getting to know her, this is a very very easy answer. Observe/listen to the things she says, does or care about. Two things:
1. Is she "skinny" now because she is just young, unmarried and have not experienced pregnancy etc.. ?
Or
2. Is she a "health conscious" person generally in nature: cares about herself (independent of you or anyone else), cares about what she eats, drinks etc.. likes to exercise or "keep fit" etc..?
Point is: if she is a generally health conscious person (not necessarily looking "good" outside to attract men etc), then it is likely she will maintain that.
Also, if you are asking this question: you prolly should not marry her as you are not mature enough. She will inevitably gain weight years down the road, and you need to accept and love her just the same.
bukatyne: 6. Be responsible Another crucial thing: you can never become dominant without taking responsibility and having decision making ability. You can’t expect your wife to be a submissive woman if she sees you as an immature brat who needs her hand to guide him through life. However, what does being responsible really mean? It means that your deeds have to meet your words. It means living up to your promises. It means having a firm character. It means not making excuses for your mistakes and not justifying yourself on every possible occasion. Being responsible means standing behind everything you preach. It means taking responsibility for all the things you’ve done wrong and trying to make them right. It means having a plan for the future and always knowing what you’re doing. It means accomplishing your goals and working hard on making your life better. It means knowing how to be committed and dedicated to the things you set your mind to. It means accepting all the consequences of your actions. It means being a responsible businessman, a responsible son, a responsible father, a responsible friend, and a responsible husband. It means being a responsible man and a responsible human being. Trust me—these are all the qualities every woman admires and the things they look for in a life partner.
7. Be decisive When trying to reinvent yourself as a dominant guy, your decision making skills are one of the first things you have to work on. Before anything else, you have to know what you want and not be afraid to get it. Not only that, your submissive wife has to be fully aware of that, as well. She has to see that your decisions are always thoroughly thought through, that you’re a wise and intelligent man who is not just led by the heart or by his impulses and that she’ll never go wrong when she listens to you. She needs to know that your decisions are never spontaneous and that you know what you’re doing at every given moment. That your point of view is rarely wrong and even if you make a mistake-that you’ll be better and make things right, without her having to suffer any consequences whatsoever. Besides, what is also important is for you to make it clear that all of your decisions are final and that there is no room to change them. Whatever you’re doing you’re doing it for the good of the both of you, and your submissive wife shouldn’t even try changing your mind or manipulating you to make a different decision regarding anything. This might sound cruel, but you have to show her that you know better. Yes, at first you’ll probably have to explain your moves to her, and she won’t accept the fact that you’re making all the decisions regarding your marriage. However, once she sees that you have what it takes and that you have the capacity to be a leader, she will be more than happy to not have to ‘crack open her mind’ about every little detail.
8. Become her hero Whether they like to admit it or not, the truth is that most women have the need to be saved and that men have the need to be their saviors, one way or another. Ever since they were little girls, they’ve dreamt of their Prince Charming, coming on his white horse to their rescue. They’ve dreamt of being Princesses who have a handsome and rich warrior next to them. They would spend days trying to look as beautiful as possible for him and patiently waiting for him to come home. Yes, this is a fairytale and a lot of things are different when it comes to modern dating and modern marriages, but is all of this really that far from reality? Aren’t the Prince and Princess a married couple? Isn’t it true that the Prince is the breadwinner? Isn’t the Princess a submissive wife who waits for him to make the first move, to win her over. And to rescue her from all the evil? Don’t the two of them become husband and wife and isn’t the husband the alpha in their marriage? Isn’t this ancient fabrication actually mirrored in today’s dominant man? So, that is actually what you need to become in your wife’s eyes if you want to be an alpha man: her hero. The one who will help her get out of all troubles life throws at her, the one who will be there to hold her hand while she’s overcoming all her challenges and difficulties, and the one who will not only wipe away her tears but also make sure she never cries. Be her hero in every sense of that word: the first person she comes to when she needs physical protection, the person whose advice she always asks for, and someone who somehow always manages to show up at the exactly right moment with a magic wand to solve all of her problems. Make her feel taken care of, be her rock and her strength, and I assure you that she will let you take your dominant position in no time.
9. Show her she can trust you If one person is the alpha of a relationship, the other has to have unlimited trust in him. It means that your wife has to both believe you and believe in you. She has to be certain in your competence to be the leader of your lives. She can’t doubt whether you’ll make the right choice or whether you’ll abandon her when she needs you the most. She has to know that you’re trustworthy at all times and no matter what happens. That you don’t chicken out at the first sign of trouble and that you won’t turn your back on her. She has to see you as more than a lover—you have to be this woman’s best friend, guardian angel, and protector. However, you can’t accomplish all of this by just asking her to trust you and put her life in your hand. Instead, you have to prove that you’re worthy of this limitless trust you’re demanding, and that is a process which takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. Over time, you have to show your wife that you really are there for her, that you’ll never do anything that might harm her, and that you would never, under no circumstances violate her trust. She needs to feel comfortable around you; she has to know that you won’t ever judge her and that you’ll always stand by her side in front of others. She needs to be sure that she can reveal her deepest secrets to you without the fear of you sharing them with anyone else. That you’ll be honest about her errors in the privacy of your own home but that you’ll always defend her in front of the world, no matter how powerful a force you have to stand up against. You have to show her you meant everything you said in your wedding wows: that you’ll have her back through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and through good and bad days. Once you accomplish that, she will see that you really do deserve the role of a dominant male.
10. Take charge All of the steps mentioned above are of no use for you if you don’t learn how to take charge in every moment of your marriage. Of course, what is crucial is for you to develop the ability to make quick but smart decisions at risky times, but there are hundreds of other situations when you being in charge matters, as well. For example, when you two are deciding about what to eat, don’t wait an hour for her to pick what she feels like having. Instead, suggest something right away. However, don’t tell her: “What do you think about having pizza?” Instead, just tell her “We’ll have pizza.” Don’t worry—you’re not endangering her in any way with this because she’ll surely protest if that is something she doesn’t like. Instead, you’re just helping her decide and showing her that you’re in control. When you’re taking her out or buying her a birthday present, don’t wait for her to tell you where she’d like to go or what she’d like to get. Instead, surprise her with an already reserved table and with buying her something you know she would like to have. The same goes with planning your vacations, with your hobbies or free time. Whatever you do, make sure she knows you’re serious about it and that your decisions are final. Always be firm when talking to her, and maintain strong eye contact because that will show her you’re confident and secure. After a while, your wife will see that you are really the one who is wearing the pants around the house. And guess what: she’ll like it more than anything!
I’m certain most of my 9jagirlfriends who are single, 24 and above have experienced some amount of pressure from loved ones, colleagues, boss, church members or even the dreaded haters all asking when you will finally join the marriage train.
Some of the pressuring can be of various types, like the subtle, seemingly harmless curiosity of your old secondary school mate who hits you up on Facebook after a few year of communication and asks “Jenny, Are you married?” or the almost hostile inquisition by your mother “Shola, when are you bringing our in-law to see us, you know you are not a baby again, and your time is flying by like a hurricane wind” or is it the almost fanatical concern of your pastor who after every church service calls you into his office and holds a ten minutes hot prayer section on your head asking God for nothing other than a Husband for you, you find out that the value of this husband decreases drastically as your age increases. When you’re 22, the pastor hammers prayer for a very wealthy husband, who probably lives in the abroad, preferably America or London. At 26, the husband can still be wealthy but don’t necessarily need to live in the abroad. At 29, the husband can be just an average hardworking man. At 32, the pastor prays for just a husband with no qualities attached to his supplication. Then at the very ripe old age of 35, the pastor starts praying and fasting almost daily with a feverish undertone of panic for “just any man, any man, be it who should come and locate your daughter….oh Lord.”
You find out that as time goes by all these pressuring starts to get into your head and create some very unpleasant thoughts up there. You start wondering to yourself, I’m I normal, what did my married friends do that I’m not doing right?, there must be an ancestral curse behind my singlehood, you spend hours in front of the mirror analyzing yourself and convincing yourself that you are not beautiful or worthy enough to attract a suitor.
These thoughts like torrential rainfall on a sloppy land begin to erode your mindset and total well being, when you run across an old friends message notification on Facebook you don’t even bother opening and reading the message for fear of that dreadful question. The pressure ways down on you so much so that you begin to look older than you age, making the prospect of landing the husband harder.
You might be thinking that you’re all alone in this battle, But I can assure you that you’re not, because there are thousands of Nigerian girls out there that are also facing these same challenges and here are seven tips on how we can all manage that grinding pressure.
7 TIPS ON HOW TO MANAGE THE PRESSURE TO GET MARRIED
1. BE HAPPY: Happiness is one of the keys to living a fulfilling life. Just as other keys to different thing are hard to come by so is happiness. You might be thinking, how can I be happy in this situation I’m in. But why can’t you be happy?, don’t you know that there are benefits to being single?, your doubt me, ok, here are a few. As a single chick you have the freedom to spend your time any way you please, you still have the freedom to date different guys and choose which is best for you, you don’t wake up early in the morning to feed a baby whose intent is to scream down the whole house, you are not subject to having sex every night with round the clock demanding Hot husband, you are not juggling your professional work with the work of raising children, and all the money you’re making now is only for you, you’re more healthy as a single cause some studies have shown that bad relationships or marriage can actually make you physically unhealthy. I know all these might sound selfish but we all have to be selfish to be selfless, and for a marriage to be successful each partner needs a healthy dose of selflessness.
2. PUT YOUR ENERGY TOWARDS BUILDING YOUR CAREER OR BUSINESS: When you’re busy chasing your career or building up a business, all the external marriage pressure you will encounter will seem highly inconsequential to the ones you face from growing your career or business. If you get a nagging call from your mum or a nosy question from that old friend on social media, when you get home at night you immediately fall asleep from exhaustion instead of drowning yourself in self-pitying thoughts. But if you wake up for morning, fold your hand, sit down dey look, you will treat every question or call as if your existence depends on Marriage.
3. ANSWER EACH QUESTION WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF HUMOR: Nothing will shut up every nosy person who pressures you about marriage more than your humorous reply. When that curious friend goes “Cindy why you never marry?’’you reply immediately and jokingly “Hehehe, I never ready to pack shit and cook round the clock’’ watch him/her clamp up and move to the next topic, if they persist, douse the conversation with more humour until they tire. Treat the subject lightly and watch others follow suit but treat it seriously and watch every dick and harry drag you to all the prayer ministries around town.
4 HAVE A PRIVATE DISCUSSION WITH YOUR CLOSE FAMILY AND FRIENDS: When I mean close family and friends I mean those people you can’t do without and when they hound you, you feel like you have no ally’s left in the world. When these set of people starts pressuring you about marriage, the pressure has a way of sinking deep and causing more damage to your psyche than that of any fella out there. Sit down with let’s say your mum and have a detailed dialogue with her about your reasons for not being married yet, your goals and aspiration now and when you finally tie the knot, how her pressuring affects you mentally, physically or otherwise and why you need her to be supportive of your decisions. I tell you any mother wey love you and her head done go listen to your yarn.
5. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF: Deep within you, you know yourself. Whatever that makes you happy or comfortable, as long as you’re ain't hurting nobody, DO IT. However your psyche is wired don’t rewire it to suit someone else, who knows you might not even want to ever get married because of one or two reasons, stick to that as long as at the end of the day you’re happy, don’t let anybody tell you that what you need is deliverance to rewire you, as long as no be madness, carry go.
6. GET A PLACE OF YOUR OWN: Having a place you call your own is like the true definition of domestic freedom. Having an accommodation of your own away from your family house will afford you more rest of mind and privacy that’s unequalled. If your family doesn’t get to see you every day at home, they will nag you less often. It’s as simple as that.
7. REMOVE THE WORD COMPROMISE FROM YOUR DICTIONARY: “Never, Ever compromise” this should be the mantra of all my fellow single 9jagirlfriends out there. The minute you compromise is the minute you walk into a very unpleasant marriage of had I knowns. I always try to remind myself of this. Whatever you want in a Husband or out of a marriage never succumbs to the pressure of marriage, keep going doggedly for it. Who is to say that we can’t have it all? Your married friends who tell you that you’re being unrealistic? Don’t mind them, they are simply jealous of the ability you still have to choose.
Go out there be confident and happy with who you are, what you have and where you are in life right now, cause the only option you have is to SLAY.
I don yarn finish. Wetin una think? Feel free to add your tips to the list and share your opinions.
Romance › Re: "We Need Marriage But Men Are Scared To Come"... Pretty Lawyer by AlphaSoul: 7:41pm On Feb 19, 2021
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