₦airaland Forum

MGab25:
I just stormed upon a post about a Wife who asked her husband to get Girlfriend outside due to his constant demand for sex which she can keep up with, she got surprised and heartbroken when her Husband got a Girlfriend for himself outside as requested by the Wife. She's complaining to her Pastor about it.

What Advice do you have for This Woman?

View Post Below;
https://www.yugo.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Wife-tells-Husband-to-get-a-girlfriend-and-he-got-one.png


Read WhatsApp Chat Between The Couples Here- https://www.yugo.com.ng/wife-asks-husband-to-get-a-girlfriend-and-he-got-one-shes-now-asking-for-advice-what-do-you-think/

Drabeey:
I don't like this guy style of music, but i must confess i love the names he gave his children...


Turepin (Re-share the blessings)
Batifeori (just the way we wanted it)




Drabeey was here

galadima77:
Handsome guy will not rape your daughter, it's you they'd rape to know the trauma

LewsTherin:
Not at all. Like hundreds of Kung Fu movies teach us, when the student is ready, the master will appear.

Just kidding.

But jokes aside, there is so much I have learned from my 16 years. If I tried to start writing, it will just lead to bored reading. But you have given me a lead, and I will run with it.



Fortunately, she isn't the garrulous type. I am an introvert and so is she. The problem isn't her talking too much. The challenge we face is in no one talking at all! So we have to make conscious efforts to raise topics for discussion. Talk about the kids, talk about the business, talk about the guy we saw crossing the road in funny shoes, anything. It also doesn't help that we have widely different interests. But we try to find something to talk about.

If by talking non stop you mean nagging, fortunately for me, she doesn't nag. I have made it clear to her though that the easiest way to put a man's back up is to nag and complain unceasingly. She's a good woman. She does her best. On my part, I do my best to keep her from needing to complain.




Considering that we run a business together, I fully understand if and when she's tired from a stressful day. Mostly because I'll be stressed myself. That's what restaurants were created for. Any day we realise that no one is going to have the strength to do any cooking, we stop by some joint or the other and get take out.

There is more to this though. We decided before we got married that we will have no live-in help in our home. (my wish, by the way). So we tend to share chores. Early in the morning, while she's bathing the kids, I make breakfast and pack the kids lunches. Many evenings, I do dinner while she prepares the kids for bed. It's not cast in stone. Sometimes we choose to have what only she can prepare. I help where I can.

But if she is just feeling lazy about cooking, well, I'm a good cook myself. She also tends to cook in bulk and freeze it. So it can be as easy as bringing a pack of soup out and making eba. Or stew and I prepare yam or potatoes or something. And where I can't be bothered either, there's take out. Dominoes. Suya and garri. Bread and sardines. Boli and groundnuts. Options art plenteous. There is no need to make a big deal out of it.



Now this one is a big deal. it can be a deal breaker if not handled properly. But we discussed this before we got married. Long and short, we decided that any issues concerning her family, she deals with it. Any issue concerning mine, I deal with it. But being the man of the house, it is almost always from my family that issues can arise. That's kind of like an African thing. So I set boundaries right from our dating days. If you have an issue with my lady, take it through me. If you think you can straight up bully her because she married your brother or son or whatever, be ready for my banana to fall on you. No joke. Within our first year, I head to tear eye for my elder sister. She didn't act out of malice, and I understand that. But she made my wife cry needlessly.

I guess I am fortunate in that my family is made up of basically sensible people in the first place. Her family respects me as well. So....



Like with in-laws, we discussed this well before we got married. Heck we discussed quite a lot. 8 weeks of premarital counselling will bring up almost every possible issue in marriage and give us time to discus and agree and how to address these issues.

First off, there is no "my money", "her money", "your money" and what have you. We have "our money". We have a joint account for savings and major expenses. At first she ran the budget but over time it became clear I was better at that, so I run the budget now. The bulk of our money lies in accounts in my name - to which she has access to the debit cards and knows the PINs. For mobile apps, my finger print, her finger print can unlock the phone and the apps. We also discuss every expenditure with each other before making it - at least as much as we can. So far, the only time we have money issues is when there is a general shortage of funds in the first place. It then is no longer a thing of who spends for what but more of what do we have to spend for what. The kinds are the biggest expense anyways so.....


I hope this helps.

LewsTherin:
This year will be 8 years we've been married. We started dating during our university days just about my 2nd year. We dated for 7 years before I asked her to marry me. We were engaged for exactly 1 year. 16 years all told.


And it's been great!

So for those on Nairaland who keep crying about how marriage is a terrible institution, for thise who wonder how they can stay faithful year on end, for those wondering how their spouse can be faithful year in year out, I can only say

It's very possible.

Magnify the Lord with me for 16 wonderful years with my Lady.

lefulefu:
He's probably living in nigeria now with his nigerian wife and children. Biko be tactful in ur search oo make person marriage no go spoil.

Acidosis:
All looking funny and wierd. The photographer is wicked.

Richy4:
The HR Did not make him... Don't let the HR professionals here in Nairaland give you a dirty look...

The guy jumped protocol... That's not how things were done... He should have gone to those 'kind hearted' HRs in his establishment so that it will be on record that he has made a complaint about hostile environment and bullying... Instead he abandoned them and went to the top.. and how did he get such temerity?... and if u were one of his colleagues what would you think... I might be wrong but how did it become a public knowledge about his discussion with the OGA at the TOP? Probably he may have boasted about how he went there and the coworkers spread it like wide fire..

AntiBrutus:
Male boss right?

Opinions will be objective.

Annie939:
yes ooo , one of his victims said it yesterday.

KanuSE:
I'm a Christian and a critical thinker but I would rather not share bed with religious sentiment.

No response is needed as per Esa's case coz she eventually admitted that she wasn't raped but manipulated - what does she mean by that? These girls were lost in their fantasies & obviously cared less of the gravity of their actions, i.e sleeping with Modele's husb8and.

You & I know how crafty a woman can be when they desperately want something or how nasty when things don't go out way.

Let's be honest for once.

KanuSE:
@bolded,

Coz BF is hot, irresistible, loaded & fly - why do you think these girls are fvckn him?

thesicilian:
I don't like the fact that no sermon was held in the church today. The church should not have allowed such unconfirmed allegations to disrupt their normal order of service.

miib:
I will say situation like this makes someone have grudges from nowhere with the new wife. I very well understand the OP point clearly.

I have a friend with similar story, the father abandoned two wives at home, though he has grown up kids, the last kid of the Father called to inform me he doesn't know what to do that his dad has no money with him, but he is afraid to give him money because he knows he is going to spend it with the concubine (not legally or traditionally married but rented a house for her, mind you, the wife has three kids she brought from her previous marriage). In which he doesn't take care of the two wives at home (my friend's mother and stepmother)

In this scenario, someone will be looking at the other wife or concubine as the evil here, cause she knows this man has kids and wives to cater for. If this wife should birth a kid, I definitely know she is not going to get good treat from the husband's older kids.

KanuSE:
She's on a battlefield.

KanuSE:
I get your drift but nothing is established yet (as fact), mind you, rape cases are not tried on SM or with protests on the streets.

We have competent law courts, let Busola go to the police and press charges - simple!

KanuSE:
You have no clue what Modele is going through as a family woman, a wife.

Wallade:
Honestly, the churches and mosques are reflection of the society. No wonder we are experiencing all these challenges in Nigeria.

Here we are:

Christians trying to excuse and justify a philandering and perverted senior pastor of a church.

Christians castigating someone bold enough to accuse a senior pastor of church of rape with a narration of the events in over an hour interview.

Do we even understand the magnitude and implications of this accusation, if indeed it is true.

Do we understand the implications of having a philandering, perverted and promiscuous senior pastor/ general overseer of a church Like COZA.

I am beginning to think Christianity is lost already. So many people are not practicing Christianity. It is definitely something else masked as Christianity.

KanuSE:
Loyalty!

Modele is now BF's last wall of defence - virtuous woman who keeps her vow.

- in battle we stand shoulder to shoulder.

Annie939:
what do you expect? after all her husband called her a cold dead body.

SenorFax:
What would you have her do??

Condemn her own husband?
It's for better for worse.
Most of them bashing her are singles anyway.

mach7:
Seconded. Epe is gradually becoming a coded place for the big boys.

Ernerstdavid55:
aiit tnks

KanuSE:
Clean air in Lagos?

Ernerstdavid55:
what is good road network share more light pls

kehinde2436:
We need pictures of the road when it is raining too.

U go tear race when u see good roads like dis during the raining seasons.

Chithauri:
am almost in tears here. it is this beautiful home timi and his wife want to bring down.one of the favorites hobbies of girls now is to lie they were raped. almost all my female friends have told me that lie. #Innocent until proven guilty. #No internet judge.

I stand with the truth.