₦airaland Forum

Sanity gradually coming back.

Nobody made you feel cheap, you look ridiculously cheap!

Zombiekiller010:
Report him to his parent or siblings for them to talk to him, now that you're pregnant for him and done introduction, all you need now is to be sure he will turn a new leaf or be ready to become a single mom, well, its better to become a single mom than marrying an irresponsible man

We both know that the probability of the man changing is 0.1

alizma:
Did she just said the husband is now a widower?

She meant she is unavailable till she wins the election.

Which is why I said she is not wise.

Telling us that she has her husband's full support would be better, endearing and romantic even.

No offense, this woman doesn't seem bright enough to do the job.

Feminism or sex has absolutely nothing to do with good governance. Expect she is saying men are not good leaders which is just flipping the script men earlier wrote.

In fact, she would have made more sense of she was coming from a party standpoint.

Which women's rights is currently denied in Kogi State? If I remember correctly, a 12 year old girl invented a cloth folding robot from same Kogi.

I want to assume Dino is also coming from same party hence her speech.

The question would now be: if your party doesn't believe in you, why should we?

femi4:
you ll even do more than that......every lady stands for her man when the love is real

It seems standing behind your man/husband has a new meaning.

It was Adekunle's fight, not hers.

Best case, she should siked the girl to support their 'family business'.

tosyne2much:
Even at that, you don't expect the wife to publicly chastise her husband, she still has to support him

I have not said she should chastise her husband. Come to think of it, nobody has asked for her opinion and she has blabbed twice.

If she wanted to really support him, she would have stepped down with him while other elders run the church.

If the president of a country steps down, the VP and not the first Lady takes over.

She is talking too much.

And not making much sense while at it.

thesicilian:
A good woman stands with her husband through thick and thin, and rebukes him only in private when he errs.

This is not standing by her husband.

If all allegations are true, she is risking becoming Ananias' Sapphira.

Until then, it's best she keeps quiet.

Cc: tosyne2much

ornicus:
The advertisers are also part of the problem

Some of those images are deliberately sexual. If u you were to see some of those pictures close up, eg the mouth with pink lipstick, you would not realise it is a child


I always get irritated when people go out of their way to dolly up kids.

The advertisers have won in the end. Everyone knows the ice cream. If the ice cream was in naija, I would probably buy it just to see if it was any good.

I would love to watch the commercials.

Part of the Koreans said women were jealous of her beauty.

If she did not look like an adult or a woman, why would other women see her as a competition?

I am amazed people dress up girls like women and when peeps see them as women, they start to complain.

Of what use is lipstick on the lips of an eleven year old advertising ice-cream

truthsayer009:
BRO, I wonder who was writing down your post. You're 101% correct. Only women who already give themselves comfort via being financially stable, can only ask for pleasure (emotionally, sexually, caring etc) & omit the comfort because they already have it.

Since I have known this, life is simple. It's either you date a girl that is financially stable OR you make enough money to give both comfort and pleasure to any lady you're willing to settle down with.

Hmmmmmmmm

Can we see a link to the full commercials?

Congratulations to our boys!

Fantastic defense towards the end.

I am afraid that even if she tells her husband, he might not believe because of the pastor's hold.

She should set the pastor up and show proof to her husband.

I don't get it.

The wife claimed the husband was raping and beating her.

I thought him leaving her to marry another wife solved all her problems without the guilt of 'ending the marriage'?

She fought for reconciliation so she can kill him?

She should be sentenced to death by hanging.

Donedealer:
My immediate elder sister is being abused by her husband. Early in the marriage she lost one of her teeth while being beaten by him and it continued like this till early this year when he broke her hand in another fight with her husband. He has battered her and broke her hand in the process twice. The marriage is just nine years old and he has been abusing her none stop. The one that happened around march was so bad that my sister was already making plan to quit the marriage before he came begging with my uncle and his mom. I and my brother threaten him but he called us on phone and pleaded with us that he will never beat her again My dad is late and me and my only brother who's also married resides in the northern part of the country while she and her husband are in the southern part. She really wants to leave the marriage which my family is now in support of because of the beaten so she doesn't get killed by her husband but the problem now is how to go about it with four kids to cater for knowing fully well that child welfare doesn't work really well here and she can't leave any of the kid for him because of motherly love and my family are not well to do. Please, Nairaland land, I really need your advice on this because he just beat her again last night and it was a terrible beaten from the picture she sent to me. She works with a hospital and the pay is just 90k which is not enough to take care of she and her kids. Please advise a brother? Thanks.

I bet the husband is rich.

When your sister is ready to leave, she will.

Whistling from my bed....

As the beatings enter body....

Acidosis:
Word.

And the women that surrounded him were old enough to be his mother.

Hahahahahahaha

You were there abi?

I don't believe in opposite sex mentors or secretaries either.

LordAdam16:
Nothing major.

He is admonishing MoGs within the Church using the Bible as a yardstick; I'm not a Christian and don't regard the Bible that highly; so I wouldn't poke my nose in what's effectively not my business.

But as to the personal principle shared about being old school and not having a female secretary; I relate to that. That's happening more and more in the real world with men taking less female mentees and interacting less with females in the workplace in private situations. Articles have been written about it as a blowback to #MeToo.

I think he's right on the money and that it's very risky for any man with something to lose to be with a lady without a witness or chaperone. Fatoyinbo has been with hundreds of ladies in close quarters; all it's taken to label him a rapist is an allegation (yet unproven) from one of them. Likewise Neymar, CR7, et al.

The social mob would say don't sexually assault anyone and no one would call you out. I say, don't be in a position that'd give anyone the opportunity to make an accusation, especially since accusation = conviction right now; and no one would call you out.

It's similar to this. If you go on a Safari, the risk of getting killed or maimed by a wild animal drastically increases. If you don't and chill at home watching Netflix; the risk decreases to ZERO.

The progressives mock this, calling it misogynist, chauvinist and whatever; famously ridiculing Veep Pence when he shared his Pence rule. But as far as I'm concerned; it's better to be called a misogynist than a rapist or sexual offender.

This hard line would not be necessary if the letter of the law held true that the accused is innocent until proven guilty. But seeing that we have to believe the accuser no questions asked, well then the hard line goes in effect as an insurance.

-Lord

What is really the hard line is no opposite sex mentorship?

Women have broken grounds that if a lady genuinely needs a mentor, females abound.

MissJoy29:
Good evening. My day was great and yours?

I Pray God helps us to make the right decision. I have this paralysing fear of being caught in an unhappy and loveless marriage.

I enjoyed your convo with cassyrooy.

sassysure:
Maybe I skipped that part.

If that's the case, there must be something she is not telling the man.

How will the husband know if she dont talk?

She is the one who should be here, not the husband.

I just fee for them. There is a limit to how far a man can take especially if all coasts are clear.

True.

Same with another thread.

I said it was the wife that was required

sassysure:
So sorry @op.

This seem genuine.
If your wife is circumcised, it will take a lot, I mean a lot to get her to have sex.
She was initially into it cos u guys must give birth. Once the children came, case closed.

Circumcision comes with emotional and psychological trauma, make no mistake about that. U fuel it also by reminding her how frigid she will be when she reaches 40.

I have met only one circumcised lady and boy, it wasn't fun for the boyfriend. They cohabitated in school for 2 yrs plus and the guy left her a virgin. Was very hard for this guy and he was planning on long term relationship. The babe said she has never for once had sexual feeling. A man coming near her irritates her a lot.

With this scenario, u can go back to the drawing table and try to pull the emotional plug she needed from you instead of trying to remind her u have needs.
And believe u me, a normal woman who is emotionally put off by you can stay with you for yrs and still won't be moved.
But in your case, it woman isn't normal.
Reach out and start afresh with her. If u make her feel worthy and sexy inside, she will show it.
U can stop demanding for sex when you are around. U won't die. It's all in the head and baseless assumptions.
Do your bits together when u are around by enjoying each other's company and do always assure her she is perfect for you just the way she is.
Her groove will come back with time.
All the best man.

I read somewhere that u have to really stimulate a circumcised woman real good for her to feel. So enough licking and stretching. She will be watching your facial countenance the way men watch woman's face when on the act.

And those ediots still practicing this useless tradition all in the name of caging women, shame on them. Real shame.
The man is a gentleman else he would have raped his wife and society will support him.

Why is the world cruel to women?
From our useless religions to cultural practices.

OP said wifey is very cool with pre-intimacy till penetration.

I thought circumcision would kill the feeling.

kennydotkom:
Thank bro. Just that I don't like cheating on my wife because she is not the cheating type too, maybe because she was circumcised that is why she has low sex drive.

You saved the best for the last.

The circumcision gives another angle to the issue on ground.

uruba23:
Lol it doesn't works that way all the time.Marriage is a complex institution ,you don't even want to know what happens behind the closet.

Marriage is as easy as you both want it to be.

PrincessNZ:
I need urgent answer to know how to handle an issue now.

What we sometimes call verbal abuse is an angry reaction to one's actions.

Tell us what really transpired to be of any help.

uruba23:
Lol I am not a woman,but what is there to jump about if the man hasn't done other responsibilities.You never know if that is all he does when he comes back,perhaps no call,no how are you doing when away,just want come and be shooting like Shina Rambo .

If he hasn't done other 'responsibilities', the wife should address that.

He does not call to check up on the family? Call him and tell him you would like him to check up.

Ditto any other thing he does not do.

Address the issue.

And yes, she and the kids should jump on him and give him a royal welcome.

kennydotkom:
My wife has always deny me sex with her, though I know that whenever she is not in good mood, she won't allow me, but this had become frequent with her. Note that I work in anoda state but I come home every weekend in which I have all the privileges to have girls because I leave alone. I can decide not to come home on a weekend jus to attend to other girls but I didn't. many people often call me a pastor because my neighbor where I work has not seen me with girl friend with all the freedom I have. sometime she jokingly says that I so much like sex that she doesn't want to grow old fast because of sex with just 2or 3rounds am OK til next weekend oo. HOW TRUE IS THIS?as for me I get satisfy whenever we have fun togeda such that I can wait till next weekend when I will return home from work. She is not a working class type, so she does her business at home, no stress except to take care of kids. at time she complained of headache, tiredness, or even if I wake her up at around 4am when kids have slept, she will complain that why did I wake her up when she was dreaming. And if am forcing her, she will being to make noise that can wake the kids up. Here in my place of work in abeokuta I have all the reason to sleep with other girls, in which I have told my wife herself that my conscience cannot judge me if I do, because with little time I spend with you, u often turn me down and mostly she never initiate sex with me except she is extremely happy but very rear. I don't know who to report her to .i just don't want to flirt around because of fear of God and love I have for my kids. We can go a month without sex, she is very OK with that, I told her that she had turn herself to just roommate.

It is your wife we can advise in this case.

Can you get her here?

Or you show her the thread?

As a wife, she ought to look forward to your arrival every weekend and clear her calendar to make you her priority so you feel rejuvenated when going back the next week.

DaBogu:
Man tells woman he doesn't want the pregnancy early enough.
Woman still decides to keep it anyway thinking that he will change his mind. Man doesn't acknowledge the existence of the child.
Woman causes a public scene and drags man's relatives into the matter

We keep forgetting that Nigeria is not known to have a strong child support policy for single mothers. I've never heard of a single case. If there was, we can easily enforce compliance on the side of the man , whether he wants the child or not.

Knowing that the policy is unlikely to be enforced anytime soon, many women will always be at the receiving end of negligent baby daddies. History has proven this.

Let me understand you well.

A man and woman have unprotected sex and lady gets pregnant. She decides to keep the baby even when the father is not in support. She should get child support once the man is confirmed the father. Ok! The child support is a punitive measure (i.e. he loses the control of his funds) in that the father should have been responsible to use protection if he did not want a child.

Let's flip the narrative:

The man wants the baby while the woman insists on aborting it. What should be the punitive measure? We can also argue that she should have used protection if she did not want the child.


A woman would be at the receiving end if the man doesn't want the baby and absconds. Here, she wants the child.
A man would be at the receiving end if the woman doesn't want the baby and abort it. Here, he wants the child.

My point?

If we want to force men to pay child support whether they want the children or not, we must force the women to carry the babies to term whether they want the children or not.

uruba23:
Okay maybe we should wait for the elders but I think you should communicate more with your wife and try see her beyond been a sex tool agreed by the time you returned Konji would have accumulated.Really you need to study moods,you know the language women hear is money,so if you haven't done that part you might not have a willing partner,secondly you need to do the little things that matters,especially now that you got kids,try to understand your wife and her moods.

For a wife who sees her husbands only Fridays to Sundays max. Monday mornings?

She ought to jump on him and let every weekend be a mini-honeymoon.

Fagsar:
I do not know how to find a good wife. I met many women, but the relationship was not long. As a result, there were problems. Therefore, before the marriage did not even get things. How did you find a woman who could be your wife?

If you met many women and it did not work out,

It is safe to assume that you are the problem. After all, you are the common factor.

It is either:
1. You have very bad habits /characters only very few women are willing to put up with

2. You do not know yourself hence you start relationships with women whom you are not compatible with

3. You are unconsciously reluctant /scared to commit so you unknowingly sabotage the relationship when it is headed for marriage

4. You are looking for wives in the wrong places.

Sit down, properly evaluate if one or more of this are the problems and work on yourself.

Cc: @Madir

Hope you and the OP are not same sha?

lilmax:
married men your attentions are needed here

I thought you are married?

emekagideon:
Good evening everyone,
Am actually in this family section because I know I'll definitely be getting advise from experienced and people who are willing to help.
I actually got married around January and I dated my wife for some couple of years, tho we were not that intimate due to the fact that she had a terrible experience with her ex boyfriend. So she was trying to play safe cos she probably think I'll break her heart and zoom off.
As regards our sex life when we were dating it was more like quickies and afterwards she'll be really tired after cuddling actually, and whenever we're about to have the second round maybe after 3hrs plus.
Sex wasn't really the priority when we started dating so I wasn't concerned about that and I literally overlooked it.
Now we're married, my wife gets tired after like 10 mins into the sex and there are times when she'll say she needs to rest for like 3 minutes and whenever am still trying to tell her to let's continue my dick would have shrinked and I somehow get really angry about that.
I tried to discuss this issue with her cos I believe in dialogue a lot and she opened up to me that she always get dry after like 10minutes and whenever am thrusting the sex will be painful to her and it do hurt a lot and we've even tried using lubricants but she'll still complain of being tired and then drink water from the bedside fridge and stopping during sex ain't really my thing and there are times when she'll say she ain't interested in it again since I've not yet ejaculated for long.
I love mi wife a lot and I want us to trash this issue out together because cheating is expensive and it will do me more harm than good.
Please help me guys

Go to the hospital a physical check. Thereafter head to a therapist for physiological check.

There after, watch out for improvements/ willingness so you can determine the next steps.

The dude was acting out male masturbation.

That is even what the sing is about...

'If your wife is not at home, dance soapy.'

Well dancing soapy is better than dancing tango with another woman.

This brings a new twist to Busola Coza matter.

hardon1:
Women should always appreciate it when they have a husband who finds them attractive and will to make out with them all the time. At least he is you husband and his sexual passion is for you

You will know the real definition of emotional torture when your man detest having sex with you and doesn’t want to touch you at all

Very very true.