₦airaland Forum

Nehemiahjnr:
There is this girl I dated till last year before I got tired of everything.

She is always willing to come to my house or any place I invite her buh won’t allow sex, we will be dragging like someone that is dragging land in the village, struggle for hours buh she no go still gree and me I don’t want to force her.

When I ask her what happened she won’t say anything or sometimes will say stuff like AM AFRAID due to my past experiences.

Am tired of the relationship sef.
Money wey I don spend just Dey pain me and I don’t want to force somebody oo.

What should I do?

Drop her if you can and if you can't, keep hoping on a lost game

iceybux:
. Lol see werey talk .. scarifies indeed... the cheating she cheated will hunt her for ever too... cheap thing

You never see woman wey block man success due to things like this

Elflizz:
Please I need help on how to use the oven and grill parts of the cooker

Why not ask the seller to put you through

Dat2jo:
Hello Nairalanders. So I was gifted some food items. I just noticed that among them, 5 cartons of indomie and 5 cartons of Honeywell Macaroni both carry a 'best before date' of 2mnts ago (1st June 2021 and 3rd June 2021 respectively). How safe will it be for us to consume them? Or should we just dispose them off? Thanks

Naija expired food never kill any one before

Goldbw122:
Yeah I have heard of Mary stories and real life story like this that is how it is.. just take heart, I don't know why, it is the person that you did not stress yourself for that will actually be the one for you, and the one that you almost kill yourself for will be the one to run away from you just like stories of kidney transplant..

Cry no more because you sacrifice for him to move on and he leaves you for another

Just mourn the relationship and move on

The effort you made for him to stand will hurt him over time for breaking your heart

canttedra:
While we were growing up, my brother and I used to be incredibly close. In fact, we did basically everything together. Got in trouble together, got out of trouble together, played truants together, etc. Last year June, my brother got married and things have sort of changed.

He doesn't even reply my texts these days most of the times. He used to be someone I could count on, but now I'm not so sure. I strongly feel like we are losing the connection we used to have. I have not brought this up with him, because I don't know if he feels like I do. Perhaps it's the marriage. Is this how marriage makes people cut themselves off from their siblings? I'm not married, but he is.

I don't think we share that bond anymore. I feel like moving on, honestly. But I fear I may just make the situation worse If I go ahead to do that. Any idea what I can do?

At times it's like that when a man is married

He may be acting that way because he wants to face his new family
The wife may be the brain behind his withdrawal as women can be manipulative by nature
He could be facing a challenge that is making him go silent
There could be something wrong as a result of what both of you did and instead or him quarrelling with you, he will prefer withdrawing from you

Well you can confront him that his attitude changed towards you after marriage, that you want to know if you offended him

Finally, start treating him the way he wants it to be do t be too far don't be too close,
Keep somethings about your to yourself because you no longer relating as before
So you don't know if he is for you or against you

As he is, you can never know much about him again unless he is in a hot seat and wishes to tell you

bpalace:
For my friend, bisola
State government job MO at 260k plus Chua chua and other earning amounts to extra 20k/ month could get higher. But Progression may be poor or slow in years coming.
Or
Federal government MO at 186k ...normal civil service career progression with promotions... Could get upto 400k in 6,years time
Every doctor wants to save money and move... So...

Whatever, just go for federal

Newdawn202I:
hi ma'am how have you been?
It's been a while, I've not been online.
I dropped a message to your mailbox kindly check it.
Thanks as I anticipate your soonest response

pls send a mail, am good, hope you are good too

Newdawn202I:
hi ma'am how have you been?
It's been a while, I've not been online.
I dropped a message to your mailbox kindly check it.
Thanks as I anticipate your soonest response

Alright dear

GeneralKoko:
Dear Nairalanders I come I peace .

I have been a victim of betrayal so many times and my upbringing is faulty hence I have a very lowwww esteem.
Talking to people is very difficult now and I really need confidence to achieve my goals for life.

Please how do I boost my confidence and overcome low self esteem

You have to train yourself by doing difficult things
Developing that side of you that will make you tough incase you are abused

You have to be mad at some point to some people before they will dread you

Speak out without fear or favor
Be ready and prepared to loose whatever you don't need and retain what values to you

Stop pleasing people, you will not be given award for most gentleman

Xenry:
Thanks for this input! I think that is a good reason for that.

Thanks dear

Rubbiish:
Is this the thank u I am getting for answering your question? U asked the question in quote "Only God knows why mother inlaws and daughter inlaws don't get along". I only answered your question, telling u the answer is selfishness & used u as a case study! What u ladies will never do to your mothers in your dream, u happily do it someone's mother.

At this point I honestly do think the concept of marriage is flawed & if I have my way I will end it! Now a man has struggled to build a house, a woman coming into his life is supposed to be a complement, but her coming into his life has already brought about the topic of him moving out of his own house he built with his hard earned money & all the women on this thread are suggesting he should move out, ok fine! The evil thing here is; this woman(his wife) in question, will not be contributing a dime towards this moving out caused by herself, is this man not already inviting trouble into his life?

frozen70 please can u answer the bold question below;
Is this kind of move progress or retrogression??

You need to get married, live with your wife and your mother for just one year, then you will come back with a good point

ImaIma1:
Perhaps because they are both women. Many guys always want to blame the wives, forgetting that the MIL is also a woman and an older one for that matter, and should be more mature with her dealings with her DIL.

But some mums still can't deal with the fact that another woman now has her son's attention even more than her. So also, some ladies enter a marriage with a mindset about MILs even without getting to.know them.

But the basic thing is two women competing against each other or trying to show their dominance in the guy's life.

The modem day women are not ready to accept their mother inlaws the way they see them
But the good thing is that, they too are future mother inlaws

MufasaLion:
Smart response.

Thanks

psalmistkakah:
Thanks.. they are like set back to me.. that was my elder sister wasted 1.5 million with out investing it.. a dime she didn't give me..

Thanks too
Just be very careful and be watching them

Build yourself and your family

Xenry:
I want to ask this honest question: why are most Nigerian (probably other countries included) Girls almost bald?
Their hairline hardly comes out so well; like the one in the picture below. And they usually cover this up using wig.
Men's own are normally not like that, unless for some who are going bald.
Like I said before, this is an honest question; not asked to bash women. I just want to know why.

For the fact that women weave their hair regularly, the front line will definitely break because of the pulling of the hair that makes it look beautiful and neat after the hair is done

Rubbing relaxer is another reason because of the chemicals and those that goes on virgin hair doesn't experience that because they don't plaitt or rub relaxer

Rubbiish:
@bold How do u mean only God knows? Something u & i know, u are saying only God knows? It is obviously because of selfishness!

Using u as an example, u are suggesting he rent a mini flat for his mum because that is the same thing u would have told your husband to do! Now if that woman was your mother would u have suggested same? My friend's wife mum has been living with them ever since they got married & everything has been peaceful, but I am very sure if reversed was the case, that marriage won't be the way it is now.

He brought his matter to the forum because he feels there may be issues if they all live together
So if it was an easy do, he wouldn't have brought it here
He still have the right to keep his mum

The final decision remains with him
All you are asked to do is to advise him and not to counter my suggestion

psalmistkakah:
Good morning, this is so disheartening. How my later father's benefits was squandered within 7 months.. I am the third child but first son, the first two are women and three men. My late father benefits was process by my two younger brothers as my mum requested and I obliged inorder not to cause wahala in d family.. Am married with two children, Own a business of mine, while my two younger brothers are jobless the last one is 33 years and a graduate who we handed the task of processing d money. We all have @ least national diploma. The money came out early January 2021. I told Dem we need to invest this money and keep some incase to buy offer for my brother.. with out my consent they rush and bought a house, my father already build a house in the village. I say no problem is still ok 3million for house.due to covid 19 my business suffer a set back, I kept demanding for money from my youngest brother to settle some debt instead of giving me the money at once, he refuse...I wanted d money in bulk so dat I can used it to support my bizness..I never knew how it accumulated to #700,000 according to my brother that I collected.. I say no wahala.. two months ago I collected #600,000 to buy a car and resale then to return d capital back to him .. to my surprise when I asked him of d balance of wat is left d money is finished. I ask wat he use d money for.. he said I consume d highest amount #700,000 while d money was use to settle family problems that he have d record of every expenses made including the one my two elders sisters collected from him..I told him problem no dey finished..no investment nothing just like dat. d last #600,000 in my possession I decided I will not give it to him, I gotten a shop already which I will eqiup and open for him to run nairabet cos I have agency with nairabet..but he is insisting that I shod give him d money..and my two elders sisters and my mum are supporting him cos they manipulate him easily..I have vow not to release d money to them .I will use it to open a bizness for him .the last time I saw his balance two months ago was 500,000. with in two months they finished 500,000..if I release the remaining the one with me to them they will finish it and the family problem will come back to me as usual..the problem is they see me as a failure but am taking good care of my family and non of them is better than me..Non of them spend a dime during my dad burial even my sister husband's if not for my uncle's that supported and I did my best but they are all against me not to handle the money, because I don't believe in wasting money..they find me rigid, I only release money when it is necessary am not a saint too. Now they want me to realeas the remaining one to them.. we still have two landed properties if am two release d money to dem I will collect d documents of one of d landed properties and free them.. these people are driven me crazy.. now I have palpitations due to stress.. thinking of how they will survive if this last money is not properly invested.. my mum and the rest are the same, am the only one different and trying to tell them how to use this money without giving it to me..I remember telling my mum am afraid this money will finish and they might end up selling d house which dey bought she ignore and it is about happening now..

I just wish is possible you give them the money and put them behind you as a past and build your self strong to the extent that you can't be broke

Even if you return the money back to them, that land you Said that they will give you one document, they will sell it behind you

But if you are very sure that if you return the money, they will give you the documents, return the money, collect the documents and sell the land and use the proceed to establish yourself and buy another land that will be written on your name and your wife name, because of tomorrow

They are just wasteful and they want to ruin you down since they can't rise

prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice

If it's your house, you can stay there and rent a mini flat for your mother

If it's a family house, then prepare to get your own apartment

Only God knows why mother inlaws and daughter inlaws don't get along

ghidhehorn:
Hi guys, trust you're doing well. Pls I need ur advice. My 18 months old son is always proving stubborn in recent weeks.

1. When he's angry only God can pet him
2. Now he selects the clothes he wishes to wear(Latest trend) same as food
3. He can cry for Africa if all he wanted are not provided or obeyed. In short he's a chairman
Just to mention few...

Wanna ask if it's normal or there's a way to correct him.

At this stage, he needs to be monitored, get a Cain and let him know that the Cain is for him, but don't flog him yet

Keep counseling him on the importance of being respectful and obedient

Promise him goodies if he behaves well

Take him to your parents for holidays or other trusted family members so that they will help you to tame him while on holidays

DanielAlhassan:
if he chooses not trust anyone how can he find love or peace

People are Into relationships yet doesn't trust their partner

That doesn't mean they are not in love

DanielAlhassan:
How will you feel if you find out the girl you are in love with who also claim to love you back is pregnant for another person
Your opinion is highly welcome
No insult
Asking for a friend who is about to commit suicide
Please advice him
He is reading your comments

He wants to take his life because of a woman he didn't even pay bride price for ?
Nonsense
Tell him to move on and never trust any one

seanwilliam:
Honestly I feel a strong concern for this. Reading so many heartbreaking stories on nairaland and Twitter about the toxicity of girls raised by single mother made me to raise this question . Is it advisable to marry a woman raised by a single mother ? Especially if her mother is divorced or separated.

If no, What are your reasons??

Cc
Ubunja
Pansophist
Martinez39

Circumstances made the ladies in this category to find themselves there
Any one can be a single father or single mother at any stage on their marriage life

So if both of you love and understand yourself, then good luck

Lack of understanding and lack of communication leads to single parenthood

Viqtour:
Good day bros
Please is Toyota avensis good for uber/bolt in terms of durability and fuel efficiency

Why not look for a lesser car, it will be the same Uber payment remitas
Venza is a semi class car and shouldn't be used for Uber

mascot345:
Any good Engineer or builder in the house. Can #2million finish a 2bedroom bungalow with the current cost of building materials in our country today.

It will get to roofing sticks but I don't know about roofing sheets

Samuel1716:
Who made this rule that a man must be older than the wife?

Just because men are the strongest that's why they feel for them to earn more respect from a woman, she must be his junior

The same way you see some men being intimidated if their wives are more financially successful than them
They just dont want women to top them

emmaodet:
I think you didn’t get me right.
A man earning 50k without extra income anywhere or from his wife need to give birth to only one child and not many until things improve.

Is alright, two kids will be OK, till the economy improves

emmaodet:
This is poverty for christ sake

Still better than face me I face you one room apartment

emmaodet:
A man earning 50k and wife not earning with 3 kids is a stupid man without no plans or discipline.
He deserves the kind of life or hardship that befalls him.

So if your sister is unemployed yet, and a suitor is coming for her hand in marriage, will you wish the man hardship or you will wish him successful marriage or you will call him a stupid man?

Polyol:
The wife to be part struck me, if I tell you I don't think about this everyday I'll be lying to you. I'm seriously frightened about it.


Thanks so much.

Don't be frightened, women are the real drama queen especially mothers

You have to be strong because when she is done with your step dad,

You may be next, she just like crisis and tensed moments

Don't be too close but be far, let's see if she will change her attitude

Rhymer2020:
Though this is not the right section to post this, but your help is highly needed.


Good morning all.

Please, am about buying an inherited land. And it's my first time of doing so. The land is still a virgin land, there is no documents for the Land, but from my investigation, it solely belongs to the family that wants to sale it to me.

Now my question is:
what type of documents should I request from them?
Should I involve a legal practitioner?
Should I be the one to pay for survey?

Moderators help me for wider audience.

Before you make financial commitment, go with an experience person, probably a lawyer to make proper inquiries on the land and the real owner

Polyol:
Are all mums like mine or mine is just different?

People praise their mums in public and it's so difficult praising mine cos deep down I'm not proud of her attitude towards her husband especially, yes her husband. She remarried even if my dad is still alive, she took me with her during their breakup when I was 6 or thereabouts.




She has just two of us, my step sister which I'm very fond of. She has no child for her present husband, yes she has been in more than three relationships and she has myself and my lil sis for two of such relationships.




I try as much as possible to keep myself from her and her husband cos of too many dramas I feel I'm too young for, no matter how far I try to run, one or two family members reach out to me to report my mum's ill attitude towards her husband to me, it gets me depressed.




I'm just a young boy trying to make a future for myself without depending on anybody for that. My step sister stayed with them, she cried to me everyday about how she had to face quarrels everyday between her mum and her step dad, I couldn't take the last straw, I had to ask her to come stay with me which she presently does and I enrolled her in a hair dressing salon class which has not been an easy step for me so far.




I've tried so hard to help my mum get something doing for herself but I notice how her ego overwhelms her and it ends up making her disrespect her husband and quarrels starts immediately. I helped her raised money to rent a shop close to her so she can be earning so she can be a lil bit independent in some of her private life without fully depending on my lil income and her husband's own too, this was some weeks ago. Today I got a call from my uncle that my mum is seriously quarreling with her husband and her husband is even asking her to pack out of his house. I just weak.




I spent the little airtime I had calling her back to her senses. It goes like this back and forth frequently, I'm tired of this situation I find myself in.




I feel God cheated me with the kind of mum he gave me, unfortunately I'm tied to her for life. Sometimes I just wish I have no mum.




You might want to know why I'm this stuck to her, she's resilient, she selfishly secures and raise her children, she raised me almost singlehandedly. She enrolled me in tailoring school while I was younger and I'm enjoying it now, she took care of my feeding while in the university. My conscience and emotion is really dealing with me on the next action to take. Should I just ghost her? Forget that I ever have a mum before? Should I travel out of this country to cut her off totally? Or should I go stone cold on her financially so she can fully depend on her husband and have value for her marriage?

That's just your mum nature

A mad man will always blab words any time any day

You see that woman, she needs to go through suffering for her brain to reset as a normal woman

Pls let those who can deal with her, deal with her and by the time she is out of a second marriage, the stigma will be with her
Just ignore her and plan your future with that of your sister

Your mum is in another planet yet causing wahala for everyone who have something to do with her

Worst case, she will be thrown out, she won't be bothered about it,

Ghost her if not, she will draw you back

Be prepared for her because her type is likely to trouble your wife to be