₦airaland Forum

Youngvegetable:
Help family. I have a child, a 5 year old boy who grew up with his mum. We were much younger when we had the child.

Until recently, she brought my child to me, she traveled to Ghana and married. I don't have a problem with that tho. My problem is with my son. He is too gentlemanly for my like. I don't even know if gentlemanly is the right term.

Dude is too timid for my liking. He looks exactly like me and all that but his behaviors are just not what I was when I was his age. He is too timid, kind and lenient. Please what could I do to toughen him up apart of beating. I need a my child. Imagine one small boy was dragging the biscuit I bought for him and he still have the boy and still give him water. It was the strangest thing I have seen in a while. Where the hell did he get that leniency and kindness from? I was never like this

That child needs exposure, he needs to visit his mates and play with them and learn how to act from the way they do

But give him time, then counselling is another way to go

easrael:
My Mother Died in 2016 and only 1 Thing Saved Me and My Siblings

What I am about to write about is something that has stayed on my mind for 5 years.

My Mother’s Death

My mother died in 2016 as a police officer in Lagos. We travelled all the way to Ondo state to bury her. After her burial, many of the family members promised us that we would be taken care of with my 5 siblings because our father was not available.

Aftermath

After we got back to Lagos, our family members stopped picking our calls, nobody came visiting, my sisters and brothers had to drop out of school and stopped going to school. We had to put them in a public school.

After 3 months, a friend of my mother visited us and after everything, he asked me if I knew that my mother had a land? Land? I was shocked and I inquired further and found out that my mother had land that we could sell because it has now appreciated.

Our Savior
To cut the long story short, we sold the land and ever since, I have opened a hair selling business that we are using to feed the family.

My Question

Why do parents buy land and not tell their children?

Well some do it to surprise family members

Some do it because they don't want the children or spouse to know yet

But the good thing is that, someone must know about it, that's the person she is free to tell

Because of bad mind of people, some people does things in secret so that the result will speak out

Onyi90:
Good evening great minds of Nairaland. Please i need your honest contribution.
I currently work with a private clearing company that pays me weekly allowance of #30,000 - #35,000 and a monthly salary of #60,000 totalling 180 - 200 thousand every month.
However, I was among successful shortlisted candidates of a paramilitary agency recruitment exercise of the FG as a BSC holder.
I made enquiry on the start up pay and discovered is around #75,000- #83,000 for my level entry.
I don't know if i should go for the federal job with a lesser pay or remain with my current job.
NB: Date to resume to the training camp for the FG job is just around the corner.
Honest thought are welcome. �

Go for federal it will benefit you on the long run

pappy2000:
Let me explain my story, we got married in Nov 2019, got divorced in April2020, we have a child together and I have been taking care of him. Now she took me to the registry and we both agree that we want a divorce however the presiding magistrate said that we should come back in six months time I need the divorce certificate to process some traveling stuff now how do I get a divorce certificate I don't know if the Judge will issue a divorce certificate on our next meeting which is six months after we filed for divorce secondly the Judge in question was the person that brought us together in the court when we did the registry marriage how do I get a divorce certificate please help me I don't want to waste time thank you

Ask a lawyer who will explain the processing for you

ThiagoKid:


I am writing these with my heart running into different directions. My life is too 'three' peaceful!
I have being living a single life all my life. I stay alone; to get focused on my grind.


The problem here is that there is no nagging woman in my life; someone who could spice up my life a bit by quarrelling, and shouting at the top of her voice.
Someone who would always request for the "urgent 2k, or the urgent 100k", and when I refuses, she won't talk to me for a while.
Someone who will wear bum short in my house and, cum and 'mess' on my face like--'poooh...' and she will run away.

If care ain't taken, I might later rescind on my idea of not getting married if this is how I will continue living my life.

You are living a too peaceful life because all what makes a man to have challenges in life are lacking in you
Fix those things and you will come back to rewrite this

But if for personal reasons you decides to remain like this forever, make sure you don't become a liability at old age to people around you

Those things you are running from are what defines a man

Stephen2324:
If a man must have a good job, car and a house before marriage.. what must a woman have before marriage?

A woman must have good home training there is nothing as big as that considering that ladies of these days are not really prepared yet they want to get married

Stephen2324:
“I need some space “,What does this mean in a relationship?

It's means you have been choking your partner and probably loosing value before your partner

If your partner says I need a space, respect that word and give the distance till he or she activates the relationship

MediMedi:
I resumed school 2weeks to commencement of lectures.

A project student came to stay with me, he came with little but nothing regarding food and spices. On my own side we are already finishing what food I came with for the semester.

Now, I planned going to get more but this dude is showing bad attidute towards everything, he wount sweep the room, he wount wash the dishes after eating what I prepare, he wount cook.

What he does is to bathe in the morning; eat, leave come back by afternoon bathe, eat, leave, come at night, bathe, eat and sleep.

The whole of this scenario seems he's trying to use my head.

There's more but let me end here.
Should I go get the food stuff or chill make hunger wire both of us.

The more you cook the lmore he eats and the lesser his usefulness

Let everyone feed himself

Alternatively ask him to live if you can't cope with him

After all he serves no purpose to you

Jameszinchenkov:
Good morning Nairalanders, there is this girl that I like, she is the Christian born again type. We usually talk mostly about work and religious talk always. So recently I have been calling her at night time but she always ignores. This morning she sent a message that I shouldn’t call her during the night again. That she don’t like it. To the Nairaland Ladies , did she just rejected me? Or she don’t like to be called at night. Thanks

At nights, most silent calls are louder she could be living with family members and wouldn't want them to eaves drop
So she wants bee privacy at that time and that doesn't mean she has rejected your advances

With time you will know why

[quote author=Motirayo2018 post=103289061][/quote]Anyway with time you will know better

Promzy99:
Please help a brother (cousine) of mine he is about getting into trouble. My brother is an undergraduate 300l now. He called me yester-nite nd told me that a lady who sells for his uncle is currently pregnant for him. After questioining him, he said he had sex with d lady on the Sat 26th of june, 2021. And then yersterday he received a call from her about d pregnancy. And shes been pressurising him altru last nite telling him to return so that they would know what to do about it or else she will have to inform the uncle nd other family members. Now my brother is distressd nd wondering if he cud be responsible 4 d pregnancy owing to d time frame. Pls nairalanders, is it possible dat my brother cud be responsible? 4rm 26th june to 1st july? Note : My brother is being sponsored majorly by an uncle he lives with. This Uncle Has a very big local bush bar in d village. The girl has accomadation in my uncle's place too. And my broda jst came bck 4rm school 2 take moni 4rm his uncle.

Te your brother not to pannic because 5days to date is not enough to be pregnant

She knows who pregnanted her

Tell your brother to tell her that he is not responsible for the pregnancy and she can go ahead and report to the family

By the time the women and men calculates her last period and discover that it's not his pregnancy, her secret will be out and she will be shown the way out of the entire family

mekusmanuel:
I'm pretty in good terms with my mom.

That's all you need

naijacreativeha:
am an engineer, yes, can we talk on whatsapp

What's your number

Will you like to share a flat with a bachelor

What do you do for a living

How long do you intend to stay

Fr33born:
Is there any good Redmi at that range?

Lalasticlala
Mynd44

You can go for redmi 8,the price must have reduced now close to that amount, I bought mine for 60k August last year and it works fine with 5000mA battery

Motirayo2018:
I live at sango, around gasline.

We are giving free prepaid in our area two weeks ago

It's not really free you will be charged from your recharge

50% of what you recharged will be used to off set the prepaid till the complete amount is withdrawn from your recharge

mekusmanuel:
Good evening.
Just now, I didn't greet my dad after eating my dinner. Not that I don't want to but each time I try, the words hook in my throats. Note that I'm not a stammerer, neither does it happen in my mom's case. Just like this morning, I walked past my dad without uttering a word of greeting. He later complained about it not realizing that I actually wanted to, but the words just didn't flow.

Meanwhile, my father is a strict man, and has succeeded in instilling fear in me towards him when I was a boy. He would scold and flog me thoroughly if I make any slightest mistake. This has savoured the relationship I have with him.

Furthermore, he has anger issue, so tends to dish out instructions with a harsh voice. There's no father and son discussion between us. The little talk we do have is usually done standing. I'm sorry to say that he lacks humour too. You might end up annoying while trying to make him jolly.

I'm really concerned because I'm his first child and only son. I need to make things right.

You have grown now and he can no longer beat you

Great him anytime you come across or have need for

If you are not close to your dad be sure to be close to your mum so that you will have one of them at your back

But your dad will have to surfer that gap he created because the synergy was never created

KemiMo:
Dear Nairalander,

I recently got married less than a month now. My husband family has been so good to me thus far except this hinge of demanding over respect.

I will be clocking 31 years of age this very month of July. My mother-in-law has been insisting that I should be addressing senior wives as "mummy". She particularly emphasized on me addressing two older wives who are 40years & 38years of age respectively as "mummy wa"; instead of the regular name of their kid as called by me. I do call one 'mum Shewa'.

One of the wife is a wife of my husband's immediate elder brother, while the second is a wife of my husband's twin brother.

To top the annoying part for me, MIL still insisted that I should be addressing kids of 8years and above as "aunty & brother". Meaning that I must not address them by their first name. Whereas from my own approach and thus far, I only give that respect to age 14 and above.

It is extremely inconvenient for me to do these. I can't be addressing someone who is just 9years older than me as "mummy wa"...is definitely not possible for me. How will I be addressing 8years old kid as aunty...the fact remains that I will be feeling like an alien amidst them if I should start with such. I won't be free with them and that will be creating gap amisdt us.

I am someone who respect all and asundry. I don't disrespect anyone and I won't give anyone the space to devalue me.

Where I come from, this extreme traditional act is not done. Not only that we don't do such to wives in my family but in my entire environment is not done. A wife only needs to address mature children of the family who have reached adulthood as 'aunty & brother'.

Kindly give me genuine advices on how to overcome this. I need strategic ways on how I can maturely address it.

Truly this maybe fine with someone else but not me. I cannot start what I can't finish.

Thank you

Well, don't let them turn you to what you are not

You don't need to argue with your mother inlaw over it

Just address every one of them the most respectful way you can

Heaven will not fall

Don't start what you can't finish

Em222:
Hi guys am a graduate who lost his job 4 yrs ago I am in my middle 30s but I want to settle down cos no time left so if ur a mature lady with a good job or business doing to assist me so I can bounce back to my real man self am ready to marry you I swear with my whole heart just chat me up let's get the plans all mapped out am serious no time let's start making kids before it gets late the age range I need is from 26 to 39 so if u want us to get started chat me on 08164084891

Your mind set is not a pleasant one about marriage and having kids with a koboless pocket

Find your bearing first then think of settling down

The birth and arrival of a new born is a bigger responsibilities

Lilbitch:
So recently my father think it's the right time to start talking about marriage and stuff like that.

Well, I don't blame them cuz all they know about me is that for more then two decades of my existence I have never had a relationship.

Little do they know that I'm actually gay, I just found this environment too toxic for my sexual orientation.

I have never been dig, by far I'm still a virgin but before the do or getting a partner I want to let my parents know about this, so they won't be disappointed when they eventually find out.

So, nlmember how do I go about this.

If you have a good relationship with your dad or mum, seat the down and tell them what you are and what you want

But bear in mind that they won't be happy about it and will want you to come out of it

The question now is, are you willing and ready to come out of it

Lizzyangel:
Mature advice needed by experienced married Nairalanders.

For the past 8yrs, I've experienced the sour, sad, bitter,sweet , love and hate in marriage at a tender age of mine.

My question is, is it better to continue Living in a marriage as a single mom(shouldering responsibilities), abuses emotionally and physically, depressed and threat of life?

Or

Live as separated single mom?


All this while,the fear of the unknown TOMORROW kept me staying and taking all the bullshits I can't type here,but I've always cherished having a peaceful home conducive enough for my kids to live in,but happenings lately are making me scared of moving forward.its telling on my health and Life.

Please matured advice, corrections and guidance are needed here.

From my own experience, if you want to listen to what people will say, your enemy will enter grave

If he has left all the responsibilities for you and doesn't appreciate your efforts in covering his ass, just have a rethink

He has a complex problem and his ego is making it worst for everyone one

If you know that you can run the home single handedly, go ahead and try your best

If in the course of it, he is accusing you of
Having a man friend
Suspecting your movement
Monitoring you
Frustrating you by all means
Threating you in the house
Giving you BP despite all your efforts

Then it's time you move out to save your life

Is better you are a single mum, staying alive for your children than being an obedient wife yet suffering and dying of emotional trauma

Law of survival, you first

NgHotGirls:
Hi everyone,

I have a very serious family problem, my parents decided to take a female relative of ours from our home town to come live with us in Port Harcourt, due to the fact that she couldn't continue with her education and had to learn a skill.

This lady was enrolled in one of these computer centers to at least be a computer literate since non of my family members had the time to teach her and she wanted to learn.

Every morning she goes on an errand for my mom before moving along to learn in the computer center, not knowing she was dating and sleeping with a guy.

My mom never thought she would ever behave in such a stupid way, I mean coming to an unknown place for the first time and already dating a guy within a short period was something my mom never expected.

She got pregnant a month, she told no one and waited till we all travelled back home to tell her mother. All of a sudden we started hearing rumors of how the girl we brought back home got pregnant and my mom was to blame for it.

This girls mother took out the all the blame on my mom and not her daughter, this woman said that my mother neglected her daughter to fall prey to men in the city but took care of me because am her own child, till today my mom and the ladies mother are not speaking to each other.

For Christs sake this lady is 26 years old and 4 years away from clocking 30, am younger than the lady and due to my introvert nature i tend to stay indoors and out of trouble not even because of my mom, if I wanted to become wild i would have, a long time ago.

So pls is my mom truly at fault here?

Every one knows that your mum is not expected to teleguard her when she is not a teenager

We all knows that it's the girl's fault, let her deal with it
As for the girls mum, she has the right to feel bad over it

Time will heal everything

Jethrosam:
Pls all prayer warrior of nairalander i need ur prayer.it make one year have been sick but god almithy have been by side.the battle that have been won in my life shall never resurect in jesus name.pls bro and sister pray for me.let god put all my enemies to shame and into grave in jesus name

God will perfect his healing powers upon you and renew your whole body to come back to normal in Jesus name Amen

Can you share with us

dingbang:
What if the case was reversed, would the union be nullified?

Mr A came for her hand in marriage and after the marriage rights, she was given to Mr B

The man can't satisfied her, of what is the marriage for

The man is sick and can't be cured

How do you want her to endure such bad things

Rozcol:
Is sex that important in marriage, I hate it when a lady outrightly complain of not getting enough sex or been satisfied by her man,some women are bold sha.

A woman has to be satisfied sexualy

A woman needs to be satisfied sexualy

If you can't do it for her, let her go and get it elsewhere

Women nerves are always calmed and tamed after a good sex and she becomes relaxed

PoshBoss007:
https://gazettengr.com/kano-hisbah-bans-use-of-mannequins-for-display-of-clothes-by-tailors-boutique-owners/?utm_source=ReviveOldPost&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=ReviveOldPost

So this is how they feel about a mare plastic that has no breath.
Stupid decisions that has nothing to do with their development

[quote author=Augla1 post=103242886][/quote]Thanks my dear

Lilianmercy:
.

How much is it going for

Salvado1:
Another guy had sex with her, what should I do pls?

If you can't stand it, have sex with another woman to her hearing or notice

At times we do to others what they did to us, let them feel the pains too

derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am not a virgin. I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.

It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.

Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.

The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.

I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.

This is one of the simplest problems to solve as far as I know

Once you are sure that your happiness is with these guy, pls go ahead and keep the relationship

Get pregnant if possible and continue the relationship

Your father and the rest of your family are doing what they feel best, so you too do your own before you loose that guy

The only solution here is for you to keep the pregnancy once it occurs and leave the matter to sort its self out

Don't go to any family members to beg your parents onhh, just team up with your guy and have one mind and spirit

Every problem get solutions

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

At just two months marriage, you became so angry and locked her out and slept in a comfortable room with AC

If at this level you don't know that silent treatment is the best for such women

Then be prepared to keep lodging at every provocation and in one of those external lodging, you will and surely be accompanied by a woman

Your reaction was just too harsh, she will be blamed for disobeying you and you will be blamed for being to hard with your actions

As a man you don't leave your house for a woman to sleep out just to punish her

Give her the cold war treatment and that's just what will reset her brain

Besides, it's too early for her to start displaying the stubbornness in women

She must respect you as her husband, unless she is the one that sponsored the marriage and feed the home, then you are gone as a man