₦airaland Forum

yum01:
No judgement please.i know I am a scum but please dont add to it. Myself and my wife were friends in school , I had what we call my spec in my heart then and she jsnt it ( she is beautiful please). She is a good wife and mother not perfect cos no one is but she is good.
The issue is I have never found her attractive but then in school fellowship and preaching said looks do not matter, that the true beauty is internal. So I silenced the voice of my spec and married her. Let me say again, she is a good woman and doesn't deserve this.
9 years after marriage with 2 kids, the problem is since 2019 the attraction has got worse. I dont find her attractive at all again , we hardly gist , the way I express love I struggle to . To have sex seff , I have to use enhancers to get erections . I started cheating last year and I dont like it but I am.doing it. I love the girl in question and i know its unfair to my wife.
I have sought help , spoken with elderly people in marriage, prayed but its getting worse. She doesn't deserve this to be candid , and I am boring so much inside. No woman deserves to be treated like this.
I never cheated as a single guy, how can I be doing that now. She was my 1st body count but from 2019 till date my body count is now 5.

The love wasn't really there at first but her character was what swept your feet

You went for another woman simply because you started nursing is since you no longer find her attractive

You are the only one yo solve this puzzle

It's either you have all the fun you want with your girl or girls outside and end that once and come back home fully or you create that love and love your wife and stop playing out

You know what, she is observing you and taking records of your change of attitude towards her

Time will come, she will wear your attitude like cloth and won't have that feelings on you

That's when you will be at the receiving end

OcholaKings:
Hello famz, so my bro came to me for advice on a crucial issue and i want to get more reliable views from you here.

Here is what happened:
My bro has this friend that smokes secretly without the family knowing, so it got bursted when a family friend saw him (my bro's friend) smoking and he reported to the family, so they wanted to also confirm from my junior bro if he has seen him smoking before, my bro told the family the truth that he has seen him smoking before..

Buh now the problem is that my lil bro is asking if he did bad by telling the family the truth (remember my bro doesnt smoke)

He gave his answer with innocent mind

Your brother should know that your family wouldn't want such a person to relate with him

mbahdi:
Is it rigth or wrong to send your elder brother on errand?
You have a brother that seniors you with 4years,am 27,he's a final year student,he's going to school is a collective effort from the family but the Lions share always come from you the junior one,as the only person who has a meaningful business doing.others contributes tokens with food.
So as soon to be graduate,your brother is planning to come stay with you for the main time so as to look for work or to check if your area will be good for him to put his nysc assignment.so the question now is who's going to be doing the cooking?like you took food items home after your busy schedule at the shop,but he was ahome all through the day,will you still come and do the cooking or indirectly tell him to cook it?wunt he misunderstand you?please I need answers.
I don't mean he should come washing your clothes.but like cooking keeping the house clean since you are the one providing the rents food and every other things.

He is your senior brother and you have to accord him that respect unless he is a liability

That you are in good position now doesn't mean others won't get there

When you buy food stuff, politely tell him that you will cook rice let him cook stew as you are tired

He may say don't worry I will fo the cooking

After rest or meal, you can clean the place

If you want to send hi an errand just do that with courtesy

dre11:
https://dailytrust.com/buhari-approves-employment-of-dead-nysc-members-siblings

So a family member have to die for the rest members of the family to get federal job, God forbid

She is lucky to marry a man that understands her

prettyheart:
Married people please gist us

Just make sure you have courtship with whomever you want to marry and make sure you marry your friend

Understanding your partner is like reading well for an examination, of course you will pass if you read hard

9jajoseph:
I really appreciate your input. I will do that right away. But don't know where this igbobi. Below is the doctors report

The reports are OK if not for the fulness of the tissues, he just need proper medical attention on it by an orthopedic doctor

Igbobi is nit far from where you did that test in yaba

From Ojuelegba take a bus going to Palm Grove and drop at Igbobi hospital

From Oshodi, take a bus going to Yaba Paml Grove and drop at Igbobi hospital then cross to the other side

RealNakupenda:
True Life Story

Good day, please post for me i need advice/help on my condition.

I got married to my husband at 21 yrs. I didn’t date any man before getting married. I Gave birth to my sons when I was 22, 23, & 38 years (3 boys).l will be 40 in few months.

I love my husband so much he is my friend, my father and my close confidant. We have been married for 18 yrs now. I don’t keep friends.

My problem is my husband is jobless for the past 11yrs now.
He is educated with masters degree but he has refused to get any job and Iam losing it.
For the past 10 yrs I have been responsible for providing everything for the family including our children’s education, rent, clothing, medical expenses, and feeding I mean everything.

Presently, I am depressed, emotionally down my health is not stable as I am thinking so many things especially how to meet up with my 2 children school fees in the university.
I don’t earn monthly, i depend on what I get as a private legal practitioner.

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I have spoken to my beloved husband for so many years now to look for any job to ensure he fulfils his obligation as a husband and father but each time I advised him he will tell me to look for job for him. I have tried approaching some person’s but no one could help me get a job for him.
Pls, I need your candid advice on how I should handle this situation I don’t what to loose my marriage.
Thank you

SOURCE : https://livelystones.ng/2021/06/14/help-my-husband-is-jobless-for-the-past-11yrs-now-and-not-bothered-the-family-load-is-killing-me/

He has relaxed for so long
Stop spoon feeding him under this condition, there is nothing like loosing your marriage

What if you loose your life struggling for the family, won't he loose his marriage with you and move on

Get a shop around let him sell foodstuff or he should pick up a teaching job

Just do the ones you can and leave the rest

Don't spoil him with money rather focus on those children

Aaronzy:
Pls my fellow nairalanders
I'm a medical doctor hoping to join one of the armed forces soon
Pls which do you think is best for s medical doctor ?
Ur reasons are needed.. tnx

Working in the military as a medical Doctor will give you job security and prestige

Be it Army, Navy or Airforce

Though they get to a certain rank and that's the top of their career not like a regular army that gets to the final top of God permits

As Navy, you can work in thelr military hospitals and places or states where they have seas

As Army you will work any where you are posted to same with Airforce

Go for the last two because they wear same uniform with similar difference

Limitless72:
Can we ever satisfy women?

Yes,, men can satisfy women
Just give her your time and attention, that's the major things she need from you

Money is secondary

chatinent:
I am man enough. I only need a glimpse what a girl date thingy looks like.

Is alright

A girs invitation for a date is to take you out for a lunch or dinner and probably pay the bills

Have time to interact with you and get to know you more

She could be working and can afford for herself

It's a more advanced way of approaching a man

As it is now, if you ever have interest in her, then you can accept the invitation and take up the relationship from there

But If you are not really interested in her, ignore the invitation or accept it and pay the bills, then simply let her know that you want her to be a friend and no sex attached

At this point she will know if she can handle such relationship

chatinent:
No bi everybody dey sleep with everything o

Most outings are not for sleeping especially first outing, probably at the fast food centres

Englishisamust:
Please guys it has been 4 days since something has stuck in my throat. Whenever I eat it is like all those food doesn't digest like they are stuck in my throat follow with chest pain. Have search Google about my symptoms. All I'm seeing is gerd, heart burns. Help a soul. I was first suspecting it to be cancer of the lungs. Pls help meoo. How did you cure your own if you have experience this?

You could be having excess gas in your stomach

It could he acid reflux

Try and see a doctor for proper diagnosis

omolola100:
There is this old friend of mine that is still bedwetting, and it is making guys to run away from her, she just lost her relationship all because of bedwetting.

Is there any remedy or cure for it?
it is getting more serious.

She should stop taking any liquid any time from 7pm
It could also be that her bladder can't retain urine

Affy19:
Please help. The closest government hospital to me is always full of people no matter the time I go there and I don't know what's stopping me from going to private hospital around me. I've had this issue for so long. I'm not sexually active, I don't smoke neither do I drink alcohol. I take energy drinks on the average of twice a month, I don't take other soft drinks and I drink a lot of water. What I noticed is when I drink a lot of water, I don't smell any offensive odour but if I take little water, the smell can be killing. I don't know what to do. I can't always keep up with the drinking of water cause of what I do and this started months ago. Every morning I wake up to use the toilet, it's always this smell. I don't know if it's an infection or something. Even sometimes when I take lot of water, it still smell but not close to the normal one when i don't take water.

It got so bad that when I have a visitor, I use air freshener after urinating.
Anybody here to help? Please help a boy.

You need a kidney test and infection test to be sure that you are OK inside

9jajoseph:
My brother of 11 years old had an accident while playing ball(a month plus now). He dislocated his Elbow joint. Some guys around him helped him to set it in order, tied it with bandage. Some days later the joint in the elbow got dislocated again. A friend recommend I take him to one Ijaw man nearby to get it fixed.

I took him there, he charged me before commencing treatment. he rubbed him some oily substance and pushed the dislocated joint to the rightful position. And tied it with stick and bandage

My brother went through hell that day. All the pain killer drugs and sleeping tablets I got for him. None worked. I took him back there the following day because of the pains. The Ijaw man loose the bandage.

I took him home and within some hours his hands started swellow to the extent that he couldn't lift the hand up due to the heaviness. I got a drugs (hydrex) for him. Within some 5 days the swellow hand dried up. Now I noticed that the fingers aren't twitching again. And the elbow is stiff. I took him to the ijaw man he starts messaging it once in 2 days for 2 weeks plus. But there wasn't any improvement neither was the finger moving again. I got really pissed and told him to stop the treatment.

I took him for xray to ascertain if he have a broken bone but the xray reviewed that the bones are not broken and bones are in the rightful position.


I want to know if there is any hospital or any orthopedics that can tell me why his fingers has not been twitching for a month plus now and why the elbow is stiff before taking him to hospital again.





Below is the xray results. Am in Lagos

Lalasticlala pls can you help me move it to the front page

I thank God that his bone wasn't broken, but there are more to look out for more tgst than bone

His nerves may have been affected

His ligaments may have been affected

It could be the vain supplying blood that was affected

The blood supply to the fingers may have been reduced or not supplying at all due to the injury

You don't need to panic, take him to orthopedic hospital at Igbobi for proper treatment and diagnosis before it gets out of hand

Once a part of the body doesn't move, it means no blood supply there and blood is life

I never liked the bone setters because they may cause more harm

The elbow has a joint and I hope its still intact

Tolani1122:
Doctors in the house ,is there any risk in marrying a hypertensive lady

Any one can develop hypertension and once diagnosed us the best do that the patient can follow the rules guiding it

Some are caused by hereditary while some are caused by circumstances

Limitless72:
Evening folks...
So I've got a kind of GF/fiancé who's known to be very hard-headed and strong willed yet cries like a little girl when I berate her or try to get under her skin with words..

I've always wondered how someone as strong as her would behave so soft around me. This is someone that got her dad arrested, even her supposed bestie because they stepped on her toes.

There was a time I wanted to travel to Accra from Lagos for a short trip. She cried for three days straight. It's annoying..!

Please guys help me out here. What's really going on?. I've asked on different occasions what's going on, and she says she can't explain it either, that I'm some weak spot..

PS: She more than 27 years of age, a lawyer and a vibrant entrepreneur. She's not a kid..!!

She is in love with you and find it difficult to display her strong attitude on you

But the day she will do it, she will recover all

The only way is to treat her right

chatinent:
Hello,

Quick one: so a lady, bold, tall, elegant, beautiful, well-dressed and cultured.. walked up to me and booked a date tomorrow during eventide. She's sb who I had often hi-ed while passing by.

This was no borrowed courage. She was in for it.


I didn't give any responses.. as I watched her walked out.


So, fam, what do I do?

Meaning that you are not man enough to honour such invitation

Go with her and enjoy your meal or entertainment

After that you pick up a relationship from there

Facts111:
Good afternoon nairalanders...
Please forgive me for any grammerticle erorr.
Am a young boy of 22years. My dad married 2 wives and i happen by chance to be the first son of the first wife. The second wife gave birth to six children while my mom who is the first wife gave birth to five. 3 boys and 2 girls ( though the 2 girls later died of a chronic hearth disease ). What brought about this thread was that my dad refused to take care of us and our mom ( the first wife ). My mom is a devoted christain who hardly goes a week without fasting and prayer. The second wife is a typical traditional worshiper who comes home yearly to worship her great grand fathers grave ( 'IBEGWU' according to igala belive )... He took the second wife with her six children to kano ( sabongari area ). He sponsor the first son through school (now in HND1 ) while me and my mom live in the village. He's a police man (inspector) who is currently in ogun state (ibese dangote cement company). ... Typing

Just assume that you don't have a father and you won't feel his stupidity anymore

A time will come when he will need you, just handle him the way he did to you

lalalista:
hmmm deep. Funny enough he's never someone I can marry or even think of marrying because he's far older than me

You may get a young man that will not take you to orgasm then
you will appreciate his age and experience

It's nice to hear that you got there, enjoy your life but play with caution

benhope222:
Please my fellow nairalanders I moved in a new Place around March this year , it's Bungalow with 2 Flats . I'm staying in one while a married man with 4 kids that happens be the Caretaker , he's also a Builder infact from my understanding he handled the projects of the House he's staying in the other flat. My Landlord is a young Man he's from the community and owns Poultry farm in the compound . He always come around to check on the Birds. Now to the main story in my Parlour there's a visitor Toilet that's not completed the tiling & paint aspect so I have to drop my spare key to the Caretaker because I don't stay around unless in the evening , I'm a business guy. So after like some weeks The toilet was not completed I was not happy even The Wc seater that was meant to be fixed in my toilet The caretaker collected it and fix it in his own apartment . I was not happy with the situation but I pretend . Because the landlord and caretaker are very close friends because The Block , plastering , plumbing , tiling , door fixing , painting etc the Caretaker handle it . Both of them got outstanding . Because I paid upfront before the house was finished.
Initially my landlord supposed to stay in the other flat but because of the huge amount he's owing the caretaker he left the flat for him to stay there so that they can do plus and minus as time goes by.

So on that Sit at home day May 31 because we didn't go out they use that opportunity to fix the tiling in the visitors toilet but no Wc and piping was not completed. I brought out drink for us cheer and gist . So since there's no need to leave my spare Key with caretaker I quickly collected because I was not happy that someone might be entering my apartment when I'm not around.
So last weekend I brought back some can malts and spirits home that's what I deal on . I was expecting my babe on Sunday she didn't show up. It was 12 cans half of Amstel malt so I took 1 it supposed to remain 11. I came back on Thursday day before yesterday because once I'm back I'll always check my fridge to check if the have fix the light issue we had since this week. E shock me say my malt can dey miss 3. I went to my room I noticed some movements showing someone entered my house . I quickly called my landlord on phone and explained things to him . He came I showed him my observation we counted the remaining malt . He told me that I should check myself very well if I gave my spare key to anyone . I said no . He told I can see no trace of any sign that a criminal break into my apartment. So he left the matter self tire me . I took one malt and it's remaining 7 and check how I kept my belongings and left in the morning. I came back last night and check my fridge the can malt supposed to remain 7 but it's 6 na was e shock me again it looks like a Nollywood movie so I observed my parlor it's been swept half way because I applied snipper insecticide because of mosquito and other ant's so i don't even have time to clean up my house unless on weekends . Na wa I carry sit dey think many things I call my landlord on phone again and told him I'll like to see him. After so minutes he came I explain the things to him . He went to call the caretaker all of us just dey reason the matter . I want to even dey fear self wether na spirit dey whine me so. But I no offend anybody na . So my landlord said I should be prayerful before they left he brought one oil there pastor gave him that after praying I should sprinkle it around my house . Make we observe tomorrow if such happen again we'll know the next step to take. So when they left I drop that oil for one corner. Base on say I be spiritual man white garment church Bobo . I smile codedly I knew that my landlord is aware that I'm a white garment church person but not before I parked in because of different kinds of perfume I dey apply . He taught I'm using it for business boom and all that but I use it to drive away negative spirits and Evil people I meet at my shop . So sometimes he'll try reason me say one day make I try follow dem come there church that we're one family in the compound. He attends the same church with the caretaker .

So in summary I'm going to give him back the oil that meself spirits dey fear me oo. I'm thinking of telling him that I need that parlor door key to be changed I'll personally go to timber and I get a new key to protect my privacy . Because I think someone still have one of the keys . My landlord only gave me 3 keys from my own understanding the keys might be 4 or 5 , because even before now my intuition do tell me someone enters my apartment when I'm not around.

So my fellow nl guys what's your suggestion on this . Sorry my story might be long and errors.

There is no need to return the oil back to him

Any other jobs that needs to be done there has to be done in your presence so that you stop giving out spear keys to untrusted people

Lastly, buy a new key and change the previous ones especially the entrance let's see how they will react
Trust no one until proven trust worthy

Thebest12:
Hello Good morning nairalanders ,
.
Pls I want to know am I about to experience heart break or I should do that now before she does it to me . My girlfriend just posted someone LOML . I just saw that on her stories. I investigated deeply and I found the guy's username . I saw that the guy has been commenting on her posts recently and I wonder why she posted the guy LOML . Am I about to experience heart break .? Should I kuku end the relationship now ? Pls I need your advice

Life doesn't want anyone to determine your state of mind or mood

Get a beautiful lady and post on yours too and caption it with any words you like

As it now, if anyone hurts your feelings, find a way and sort out your happiness

Yusuf14:
Please help me, my husband Birthday is coming, but not even N200 I have to at least gift him. Please help me in the name of the Lord.

You are not normal

Go out and Bleep your life Make money and give it to him

Of all life worries, this is your prioty

Alawe:
Between someone "you don't love that much" but you're sure of her Character, that you will live well with her
And,
Someone you "love so much" but you aren't sure of her character if you can live well with here.

Which one can you get married to?

Understanding one character is the way to go

Loving someone grows with time but a single dirty attitude can frustrate a relationship

lagusboyyy:
I'm a graduate from one of the south west university in Nigeria, and i spend all my life in Lagos state , and also a yoruba guy from Lagos State.

But due to the rising and unavailability of good jobs around, i have been thinking of moving over to the North for greener pasture, i want to leave my comfort zone.

So, two states are on my mind, plateau state or gombe.

I really want input of individuals on this issues:

Cost of living

Availability of jobs

Security

Acceptability of strangers, and many more.


Which state do you guys think is ok, I'm really in need of a good job.

I will really appreciate this topic to be in frontpage so as to reach wider audience.

Am still wondering why you think those states will offer you your dream job

No accommodation
No relations
No friends
No acceptance of job yet
No job offer yet
Boko haram and heards men

Anyway its your life that you are trading with

Igbojihadist:
Good morning Nairalanders.

Please I need advice on this. I was given fasting and praying which is supposed to end today but yesterday night i was not feeling alright then I visited a doctor who gave me some medications and placed me on drug, I'm suppose to use some this morning but I'm afraid I might spoil my fasting.

PLS I NEED ADVICE

Una happy sunday

Your health is bigger than any situation you are fasting for
Break the fast, complete your drugs and continue the fasting

AmazonTopaz:
That isn't the issue,the issue is that he did not tell her and she found out from someone else.

Nobody likes to be deceived he is not a sincere person and for me that is enough reason to let him go.I like to know what I am getting into instead of being taken unaware.

Lies are not okay and no decent person should accept it.This your advice get K-leg

We all faulted the man because he hide it and lied he never had

Do we throw away the bathing water with the baby ?

We have to keep moving on no matter how rough the road is

Your advice has bow leg and mine has k leg

Let her follow her heart

Vision101:
@frozen70


See my sister, men lies by nature and defaults, they do so to save their head in some situations depending on the circumstances

Having a child before meeting you is not enough reason for you to end the marriage plans

Some men still have children or a child while even in a current marriage

So forgive him and accept his apology and continue your relationship with him

There is more lies to come and it can't be worst than the first lie

Good luck to your marriage.




@me
I don't consider what he did as a lie. So long as he was not formally married to the mother, there is no problem. He was simply having problem braking the news to you.

It's just a result of an accidental discharge in an old relationship. It happens everywhere. If all other things are in order I will advise you to go ahead.

Besides you know as country be. Husband no easy.

A lie is a lie no matter how small the lie is

Trust is like stickers pasted on the wall, once you remove it, it will not stick well again

The word husband is scarce is not true, there are men all over the world but getting the one that will be responsible is the main issue

Same with women, wives are all over every where but getting one that will support you to build your home is the issue

The fact that he lied to her thst he never had any child and it later came out is what hurts her and she has the right to be angry over it because she didn't expect it