₦airaland Forum

mariahAngel:

Bad advice!

You're telling him to runaway from his land when nobody is chasing him. He'll keep running for the rest of his life.
The deaths are just coincidence.

You won't understand until your family experience such

It's still left for him to remain there with them or relocate his siblings

Staying away from his father's family doesn't mean he has lost his root

Within that break period, the enemies of his father family would have died too, so that they can live

Haven't you heard of wicked uncles before

truthsayer009:
Thanks for the explanation @frozen70

See Miss/Mrs LadySarah, there are two types of Women, those who tell themselves the truth & those who don't. The story OP narrated is clear enough.

She started a business & couldn't even maintain it. She is comfortable with a 15k job as a teacher? C'MON! Be honest with yourself na. At least for once, leave this Always support Women no matter what campaign. Habba, Fear God ma, Fear God.

He already said below that he encourages her & she flares up. She's not ready.

Any time that I encourage her to be more productive, it ends in arguments. I farm alongside my work and hustle but she doesn't know how to be gainfully employed.

I.T personell + Farmer, he has tried please.

It's only a responsible married woman that can understand what the man is complaining about

I read ladysarah mention on my comment, I refuse to respond because if you don't have any experience of home up keep, you can't understand why the man is building the wife

As for me, the woman in question doesn't want to stress herself, she believes it's a man duty

Good and fine, what if the man is not there tomorrow, won't it be too late to start learning how to write with left hand

As for me, let women contribute to family upkeep so that the wheel will have a balance after all what's my gain if I decides not to help

When a woman is making impact into the family, its difficult for the man to see her as a liability, as a matter of fact, the man will protect her before his family and will avoid anything that will make her unhappy

Britishcoins:
Please my fellow nairaland, I have been in pain for a while now, I lost my my Mom in the year 2019, but her death was so sudden just few weeks sickness and she died after spending a lot of money at ESUT parklane Enugu..
Now exactly a year later, my dad very healthy and vibrant went to farm and collapsed with half of his body totally paralyzed, he later died the following day....
Now this is my fear. One Pastor called and told us that they have buried charm in my family home and that the same unknown evil men are planning for my younger brother who is presently at village. I asked what could be the solution, he told me to bring 120k to buy whatever materials he needed to do family prayer (he even mentioned white ram).
Although the manner at which I lost my parents made me afraid but without much thinking I have not considered the man to be true man of God.
The said money is not much the problem but, how can I get a genuine solution to prevent further death which by God's grace will never be my family portion again....
I have already made plans to bring my younger brother to the city... ( reason to learn business and mostly to know God more)
Pls how can I fight this battle because we are surrounded by the enemies...
They are envy maybe because my mom was hard working. The problem started immediately she finished the new building, unfortunately she was buried inside that house.
Pls help me, I am even afraid to visit home. I am the first son 26 years and glory be to God my business is moving fine.
Pls help me.. What should I do?
Cc mynd44 lalastclala

Best option for now is to lock that house and move every of your siblings away from that village

You must be far from your enemies so that they can't detect or predict what the future have for you

Assuming you are in lagos, bring them down to Lagos, give your father's family a long break they will be the one to look for you guys

What ever they are doing in the village and invite you, promise them that you are coming but don't show up

Use your break period with them to search for the mystery of all this death

If your late father has a land in tussle, don't bring it up again let it go

Even if they bring it up, tell umunna to handle it the best way they can

You have to keep away any information you know about your life and your siblings away from them

But keep in touch with just one or two of your uncles whom you feel is not the actual person monitoring your family, even at that be careful

Tell your siblings if anyone ask them anything, they should refer that person to you so that your family details will only be gotten from you and just you alone

If you want to erect any structure, do it in the city and away from the eyes of your family

Lastly, move closer to God, he will reveal a lot to you

PaulH07:
With both of them going for almost the same prices.

Abeg which one make I choose?

Thanks...

I will prefer a tokunbo to any naija use at any given time

No naija good grade will be put for sales

truthsayer009:
I'm guessing this has to do with Family planning right? Please can you explain how it really works?
I am asking because every one on the thread is either pretending or ignorant that a woman can prevent herself from getting pregnant.

A woman knows her cycle better than any one and she does know how to prevent pregnancy

But in her own case, she doesn't want to be burden with family responsibilities so being pregnant at this time will make the guy to stop reminding her of her support

We have so many methods of preventing pregnancy that some of them are even natural

Assuming she is the one feeding the family, she will avoid pregnancy by all means

Jamesz12:
There is this girl that is my life now, actually we met online around February of this year through the Facebook platform. She is 27 while I am 30 years old, see lives in Delta while I live in Lagos, she once dated a guy for 7 years who later disappointed her, before she met this her current guy who is dating her up till now.

Initially we were just chatting as casual frnds with no strings attached, she told me about herself, her relationship status, family background everything and I also told her mine.
Along the line one thing led to the other we started developing feelings for each other because she is exactly my kind of person. She doesn't pretend and she is real just like me. So we got along very well.
The point now is I am in a dilemma because she actually told me about her present boyfriend but she didn't tell the guy about me anyway, and I adore her for her sincerity and honesty towards, she asked me when we were about to start up the relationship if I could cope with it which I said yes because I felt by the time I give her enough reasons to love and trust me she will leave him, But as it stands she hides nothing from me, she tells me everything including what transpires between she and the other guy, recently the guy started suspecting her but she still denies having an affair with me.
She confided in me that she is looking for a tangible reason to leave the guy that she can't just leave him like that, that I should understand, and that was 3 months ago, again she categorically told me that marriage grounds will be a good reason to tell him it is over ( thats when I come for her hand in marriage). Now that was 3 months ago and I also felt because of what she passed through in the time past and being that she doesn't know me so well as at then, so I saw reasons with her. But at the moment I have taking her to my family, I plan to marry her, when even plan our future together, there is no step I take without her knowledge, I love her dearly and she knows it, infact sometimes she asks me why I love her so dearly the way I do, I intend marrying her only that I need to put some modalities on ground that will make us have a good home, of which financial stability can't be ruled out. I have told her all this things.

The problem her is that I feel she is using me as an option paradventure that other relationship doesn't work out, I feel she doesn't want to put all her eggs in one basket, hence her relationship with me too because she has refused to leave him, she doesn't post my picture and she deletes our chat because she doesn't want him to know, although I was the one who told her to do it when the guy was suspecting her and giving issues

Pls is there hope in this relationship or am I in the wrong relationship because I don't want to waste time afterall I am not getting any younger.
I need honest advice pls

So you can stand having a relationship with a girl you already knows that she has a relationship with a guy which is currently going

So you can be easily tricked into marriage by some one you bearly know

Well, it seems that you lack experience in relationships and love matters

You still need enough time to be in the streets and gather enough knowledge and experience about life and relationships and understanding women with their complex nature

Pls go back to the drawing board and start afresh, there
is still enough time for you

Before you make the greatest mistake of your life

marshborn:
Good evening romancelanders, I trust you all are having a wonderful day.
Would make my story as brief as possible, I meet this girl sometime in 2018 and we have been dating for about two years now.
She is Esan, from Edo state and I am Igbo, we have gotten along really well ever since. I was considering making her known to my parents but feared tribal difference might be a problem. I stylishly asked my mother what she would think if i wanted to marry an Edo babe and her response was, she has nothing against them but our reasoning and theirs might not gel well. She said I should rather bring home an Igbo girl.
The truth is I have a very good relationship with my parents and don't want anything to hamper that. I am not a mummy/daddy's boy in any way, rather the opposite. My parents have utmost respect for me because of my hustling spirit right from a very young age.
How can I let the babe off easily without causing much hurt to her?
Please matured advice needed.

The earlier you let her know that you will like her to move on with her life without waiting for you, the best for you

Learn not to keep a woman dating fir so long and end up telling her stories, it really has psychological effect on them

Now you know that your family wants you to pick from your tribe

Go back and ask them which of the Igbo states your radar should be focused on

If you agree on certain states keep to it

A normal person will get confused after reading your story

No wonder you are confused too

Just follow your heart, that's if the heart is not also confuse

This is the first time am getting confused about what to comment after reading

missawele:
I saw a post like this on reddit and thought I should create a thread here.

So, to those in their 40s and above that are happy, what is your advice to those of us in our 20s and early 30s?

What have you learnt over the years that you think can help us to live better lives?

I have learnt to make hays while the sun shines

I have learnt to gather the stones people throw at me and use it to build my house

I have learnt that the real fashion is yet to come, so forget about fashion and chase the real object

I have also learnt that if I struggle harder in my twenties and thirties, I will definitely rest by the time I get to late forties because I would have achieved success and start resting to train my children

I understand that you have to save a little in the bank for rainy days and invest the bulk for quicker returns

Lastly, I have learnt that on your way to success, you will have to deprive your self the good things of life and when you achieve it, you relax and enjoy your life to the fullest but the funny thing is that, you will have enemies at that stage because

When they were rocking life at their prime, you were busy building up yourself

Once you detect danger start making plans to leave

Marriage has never guaranteed any one his or her happiness

Our happiness comes from things happening around us

Men too should learn how to keep their frustration and depression

No one has ever had a better life

Blissquare:
Hello people. My close sousin came to me for advise but the only ideas may look harsh. I post his predicament here so that I can see neutral point of views. in his words...

I married my wife while she ran a small business of buying and selling shoes but I had no idea the actual income was so little. I am a civil servant myself but I've been able to pick up my bills with the help of my knowledge of I. T. After having 2 kids, I realised that I need more income but my wife can not afford to support in anyway. I rented her a shop and furnished to sell her shoes hoping to attract more profit but she sold many on credit and could not give account of capital. later, she got a job at a school earning 15k a month. she is so complacent because I pay all the bills. Any time that I encourage her to be more productive, it ends in arguments. I farm alongside my work and hustle but she doesn't know how to be gainfully employed. I pay for everything including my kids weaving of hair. I don't plan to shift any burden to her but I expect her to save if she is gainfully employed. This pandemic has taught me many lessons. What if I was not receiving salary? what if I die? What if her parents are sick? How can a graduate be okay not doing anything tangible. I gave her an ultimatum to think of something and I would support her but instead, she got pregnant without my consent and now has an excuse not to work for the next one year. My car has broken down for months and I could not afford to fix it. Having 3kids without a car is okay by her. If she can't work or be business savvy then why did she get pregnant against my will? Do I stop giving her food or pocket money? How do I force her to work to secure her future and her children's? There is nothing wrong in having a supportive wife. Please don't misunderstand my complaints. I have spoken to her in love and harshness but none has worked. I need a practical solution.

Now is the time to stamp your feet on the ground and take a decision that will favour the family on the long run

Allow her to put to bed successfully and start introducing a new system that will make her seat up

Be the one and be ready to pick what is needed at home

Stop giving her excess allowance and start saving toward buying a land

The less money she gets from you the more she will start thinking of her tomorrow

Stop telling her to get something doing, if she is smart she will read the hand writing on the wall

After this child birth, warn her not to become pregnant again and if she does, you will return her to her parents and start another life where you can live with a woman who is ready to obey you and make sure you warn her in the presence of her immediate family

You have to be serious with your decisions and actions

When a woman is not really ready to assist her husband in contributing to the house keep, she is not interested in running the home and that means so much burden on the man

God forbid the man is gone, she will be as useless as letter K in knicker and you know what that means

Be strict with the money you are giving her

Apportioning blames are part of our system in this part of the World

We blame each other for any failure from one side

But I believe it is to make you a better person

Our parents expect good deeds and conducts from us, so once there is any mistake, they will blame you and if their is success, they will use you to judge others

They don't want to know that we are doing the same exam in the same subject but different question arrangement

All they want is good result

But the good thing is that, because of the fear of getting blamed, we put in more effort and get a better result

Sweetness4:
It was 4k so I priced it to 2k.. It's a fairly used one. Don't blame me.. We all make mistakes sometimes. I didn't know I thought it was real. I've reported him already.

You know what, just calm down and learn from your mistakes because you will be scammed again and again

If you had bought it for 2k, that means you will need minimum of 2.5k to recharge every month

That's by the way, anytime you see anything cheaper than the normal price online do the followings

Get to touch it, feel it and believe it before payment

Naija is on fire and every one is in financial distress

As for the go TV decorder for you and your family, honestly you don't need it for now because the cost of recharge is more expensive than the device itself

Leave your siblings to adjust the way they are, you will surely make it and have it in excess

As for the scammer, his joy and happiness will be scammed when and where he needs to be happy

His hard earn money will be a scammed at every point of his purchase in life

Just don't involve police for a paltry 2k, the police will end up hurting your feelings the more because they need to be mobilised to get him arrested, which means mobilisation fees will be bigger than the scammed amount

Just hand him over to God who knows how to pay back to people

She will die by hanging definitely and when they get there if they ever meat, they will decide whether to continue their relationship or go their ways

Anger have never solved any problem

rubyleathersng:
I can make any design you want. What kind of footwear do u like. It's 100% pure craft that replicates whatever design u want.

OK I wear flat or little block heals

But if you have samples, you can display

Any kind of casual foot wears

This are lovely looking shoes

I wish you have for women too

kadajenterprises:
Pls I need your advice on family issues bothering my mind now on how my wife treats my daughter.Am married and I have a daughter who is 10yrs old and a son 6yrs old.I have financial challenges which I believe will pass soonest because I made a wrong investment that costs me millions of naira,am planning on selling (the investment)off.The issue starts when am home due to my mistakes of investing wrongly and it made me see a lot how my wife always scold and treats my daughter .She owns a shop in front of my house which my daughter is always in charge.when we had a maid I always told her to monitor her shop very well cos I don't trust the maid but she neglected my advise and the maid suddenly ruined her and she started over again after sending the maid away and ever since then my daughter had been in charge and people were even commending my daughter that at her age she is brilliant and has wisdom but my wife is different from one complain to another and it resulted in beating her which I don't like and if I complaining she says am overprotective.if she dares make any mistakes she beat her and I even told my wife when you were at her age,were you treated in such ways but she always told me am spoiling her(a girl of 10 yes).Right now am thing of telling my daughter to stay off her shop and let her be but my daughter is scared of her which am not in support .Pls I need your advice and contributions on how to manage cos I have pleaded with her to let my daughter be pending I gain my feet but she insists.Insults are welcome and suggestions as to how to move forward pending the sale of the investment.
Thank you all

A girl of 10yrs is not supposed to be subjected to such torture as it will affect her mental stability

You can visit your inlaw and get it settled for the sake of your daughter

Another option is convincing her to arrange for he to be in a boarding house for her secondary school

If care is not taken, that girl will grwo to hate the mother

Last option is for you to be in the shop when you are free so that she can read her books

But make haste so that you get an income and take decisions at home

Women can be authoritative when the man is down

Just be careful in handling it in any way it goes

You need to give a proper introduction of your sister

She should be ready for a relationship

No relationship is sweeter than the other we all have our challenges

She can join some sites where we have single parents that are searching

Her target shouldn't really be on having kid for a husband but what will make her more happier

But in the absence of non, she can take in for any man and keep her pregnancy for herself

But I believe God is still planning for her

Pastor kumuyi current wife was married at her 50s

She should believe God

Forget about those calling her evening newspaper, their own children may be in such situations and they will understand better

For whatever reasons, they have committed an abomination

The two of them will be jailed and die by hanging

At the end the family would lose three brothers just because of stupidity and anger

Nonsense ❗

Marks112:
Hi everyone, my mom is a celestial woman so she believes in all these things.
She asked 4 pastors, 1 said she’s okay, others said no.

But the thing is I am exhausted, I can’t start all over again and I love her and she loves me very much. She’s not your average Nigerian girl that loves money.

I have just been thinking a lot cos I don’t even know what could happen in future that will make the pastors say no.

And the main thing here now is now that my mom has asked these people she will never support this marriage, how do I convince her?

And I can’t break up with my gf she has been with me through a lot .. I just tire.
Been praying to God that if she’s not for me she should be the one to break up or f*ck up
I don’t want to hurt her.

Think less and talk more with your mother

Let her know that your happiness is attached to the girl and you need her prayers and support

Love is more important in marriage than wealth

You have to be careful not to disobey your mother and at the same time no to break the girls heart

Involve people whom you know that can influence her but you have to let your girl know the sacrifice you are making

So that tomorrow if it works out she will know that you paid the price for it

Is this test even necessary ⁉️

I think you guys need a respectable man in the family to settle you guys and get reconciled

Fighting this issue will be like pouring fuel in a burning fire

All of you guys, especially your family must remove pride and reconcile with this man

For the fact that he has money, he already have all the strength he would need to take the children away from your family

Peace must reign in your family, pls you guys should negotiate for peace for the sake of this children

Stop measuring power with him

Don't be surprise if he sees you people have humble yourself he may return the children to his inlaw and start planning to resettle himself

The economy is drying out and the land is getting fertile all because of COVID-19

What a world we live in

bolaayenimo:
A church member is jobless or has no verifiable source of income. But he pays in a hefty sum of amount into the church as his tithe (10 percent of income ).

Should a church ask him the source of money or just regard it as God's blessings?

Because of greed, no pastor wants to know what you do for a living

Just bring it a get blessed

There is no price attached to it

FashAutos:
Fresh sales

At what price pls

ibrahim55:
my dear I must tell u there might be no issues here my wife does same infact exactly what this OP is complaining about she is always tired its over three months now just after she discovered she was pregnant... eventually one day I asked her what the problem was she said she is not happy about the pregnancy, note that before now I don't ejaculate down there I pull out as soon as possible we had two kids already... but right she is wanting the d..k again and no longer tired but now me ayam tired jare. My advice to the op is if u are a Muslim getting another wife is the key solution make them dey two competition is if good if they become frnds denie u sex make them three again make am four thats the solution and thats what i intend doing asap

Pls don't do that which you intend to do so that you can keep all your children under one roof

Polygamous never pays unless you are extremely rich

Old age under such situations is never a pleasant experience because every wife will abandon you with their children

That's why you see some men keeping lovers

ibrahim55:
my dear I must tell u there might be no issues here my wife does same infact exactly what this OP is complaining about she is always tired its over three months now just after she discovered she was pregnant... eventually one day I asked her what the problem was she said she is not happy about the pregnancy, note that before now I don't ejaculate down there I pull out as soon as possible we had two kids already... but right she is wanting the d..k again and no longer tired but now me ayam tired jare. My advice to the op is if u are a Muslim getting another wife is the key solution make them dey two competition is if good if they become frnds denie u sex make them three again make am four thats the solution and thats what i intend doing asap

Lol, you are very funny @ marry them two or three or four let them compete

Well women attach emotions to every thing they do including sex

It's painful to men when they are denied but then if she is tired or weak at that time, there won't be need

In your own case, pls give in now that she wants it because, if a woman gets it out, the attention will shift, just help her out

A man has the ability to love his wife and love his girlfriend but a woman can't love her husband and still love her boy friend

Attention will definitely shift

iceybux:
ofcos I am.. we having differ opinion and alil disagreement doesn't .wan I did be rude.. anyways how was your evening and weekend

Good

noblemind:
Here

At what price

iceybux:
atleast I'm being nice here..

That's a characteristic of a real gentleman

iceybux:
you just gonna be fine..

Lol