A man identified as Chief Mbanabalagu, went to his in-law's house in the Alor community, Idemili South Local Government Area of Anambra State, and traditionally divorced his wife over alleged infidelity.
The man accused his wife, Ndidiamaka Hope Okoye, of sleeping around with different men in various communities and engaging in 'akwunakwuna' (prostitution).
Speaking in a trembling voice, he also accused his wife of sleeping with a married tipper driver who supplies sands to his block industry, adding that she even rented a house where she engages in illicit affairs with men.
I am not happy that this kind of thing is happening at this their level of marriage
Any man that handle his wife very well in the bed, have little chance of losing her to another man
Dont be surprise that her case may not be that of lack money but lack of sex satisfaction
theInfinity: I discovered many women who engage my service for massage therapy are women their husband treat badly. Getting a massage relaxes their mind and make them forget their worries. A client lamented bitterly how her husband verbally abuse her, telling her how he brought her out from poverty and cleaned her up and I am like, why a man will say such to a woman. Women pass through a lot and I plead with men to value and cherish their wives.
You are giving this advice because your job involves women and over time you have realized that women are just fragile, forget about their sharp mouth
When you treat a woman well she will be happy and your relationship or marriage will be healthy and successful, you too will experience peace
But the moment you treat a woman bad or abuse her, she will definitely look for who will listen to her predicament and before you know it, loyalty will shift, that is how you will loose her to who will keep her heart warm
There are lots of women out there who are not happy in their marriage, they go out to get their lost happiness and once they find it else where, Otilo!!!!
No man wants to see his woman in another man's hand
Please I need an urgent advice from the mature minds here. I'm about to take a decision that has the potential to change the course of my life.
A quick background: I come from a family consisting of five "children", of which I'm the fourth. Right from the days of my childhood, my parents and older siblings have had a firm control over me. They often dictated the friends I'd keep, placed I'd go to, where I should be, and almost how I should behave.
I was mostly indoors because they didn't want me playing around. That had an impact on my personality, because I couldn't master the ability to make friends, express myself confidently, and get involved in social activities that my peers relished.
Fastforward to this point:
I'm in my late 20s, a graduate and an NYSC cert holder, and although the level of control has been minimized, I still experience a bit of it. I don't have a place of my own for now, so I stay in the family house, but my older ones are independent in that aspect though they don't stay far from the family house.
I have a job too, but the salary is not even enough to take care of myself and support the home for a week.
Now here's the issue, I got a job offer from someone I served with during my NYSC, in a state about 8 hours from my current state of residence. It's the same job with the one I'm on right now (a teaching job) but with a slightly better payment return.
The person has a good relationship with the principal of the school, so according to him, the job is secure. I had to accept it because I'm tired of my current situation, and I'm tired of the life I'm living here -- my social life is next to zero, I don't have friends close by, I'm not socially active, and I need to explore. With my little savings, I plan to get an apartment as cheap as possible when I get there.
The problem is everyone is kicking against , because they're concerned about my safety, how I'm going to cope alone in this harsh economy. They've told me that if I decide to leave against their wish, that I'll be on my own and won't get their hands involved if anything goes wrong.
At the moment, I'm thinking of standing my ground and sticking to my decision, because I'm depressed from being in this environment, but I'm a bit afraid of my family cutting ties with me.
Please any advice? I really need some right now.
Thanks!
Your family loves you, but you have to start taking risks that will build you up as a man
Everything in this life is a risk
If you are sure of this job offer, you accept it and be ready to take a bold step to start finding your bearing now before you loose the ability to stand as a man
If you stay on your own by getting an accommodation., you will face challenges but those challenges are what you need to build you up as a man
From there, you will understand what it is to start living outside your family
Among all the challenges you will face is, women
They will come around you and flaunt themselves on you and if you are not principled, you are hooked already with pregnancy
If you know that your salary can't sustain just you alone then don't get entangled with women because that web is for experienced men
The summary is take that hold decisions and relocate
Your family will never neglect you but make sure you don't come back to them for assistance
Rather come back to visit them and impress them with love to show them that you are ok and they will be happier with you
Lastly, make sure your parents prays for you and especially your mum for favour and success as you take that bold step
I don't like to bore people with long stories as we all know. I just need suggestions on the appropriate thing to do on this very matter.
My kid sister married this guy(name withheld) about 4 years ago and since then, there is no sign of seriousness and responsibility in him. First, he married in the same compound where he lived as a bachelor, even when he knew he had earlier promised someone marriage in the said compound. This led to serious quarrel that nearly took the life of their first issue. It took the intervention of my mum and insistence of my sister before he made up his mind to pack out the house. Which is a sign he likes being a victim of issues before looking for a way to help himself.
Secondly, he doesn't plan his life and acts on impulse. Most times, he would always want to have issues with his landlady before paying up his house rent. I don't know if he enjoys embarrassment or he likes being taken unawares. Last year, he was given a quite notice in his apartment due to his inability to settle with his landlord over rent. He then paid for an uncompleted building waiting for the house to be fixed. Lo and behold, the day they packed into the house, it was without window and electricity. They had to look around for the window to be fixed the next day before they could pack in, even without light.
More so, he had problem in the company where he works to the extent that he was suspended for months without telling the wife who has been hoping that the husband was being owed all those while. He allows her to always beg from my other siblings and I, including my mum who has spent a lot on them. Even when she is supposed to be receiving from them especially during omugwo, but no, she has been the one spending.
Finally, things became unrosy for them that my mum asked them to come and stay with her, together with their two kids for over five months now. I have called him and sat him down to discuss with him and he is not showing any sign of seriousness, even when I offered to help him secure another job. I don't know if he has something against him or he felt relaxed because he thinks my parents are assisting them. I can't see myself behaving such irresponsibly.
Please, how do I help my sister out? Ur advice is highly needed here.
That man has no future plans and has no focus in life
Nothing borders him and he is ready to remain in that condition because he has already lost self respect and he is willing to receive any kind of insult and embarrassment
Him no send anyone and stop believing you can change a man who doesn't have any plan for himself or his family
Simply put, he is just a liability His attitude has cost him so many things including his work and may soon cost him his family
Now the main person to handle here is your sister, forget about the man
Since your sister is now with your parents, is a very good idea at least those kids can be attended to by your family
Your sister needs some thing doing so that she doesn't become a problem to you guys on how to sustain her
You guys should seat with her down and find out what she can do, that's if she can't get a job
If you people can train her in the university is good if you can get a job for her is good
If she can learn trade, good
But she has to be wise this time around, not to become pregnant in any careless way
She must be ready to move on with her life, with or without that man
If she is serious about her life, let her regard that the man doesn't exist so that she can find her bearing
That man will soon come back for her and the children, but your sister must be firm that for now, let him get something doing that will generate incomes before she can even look at his side
Because if she looses guard she will go back to square one and that is when her suffering will get to Promax
A lazy man can't keep a woman and children
A lazy woman too can't afford to be in a happy marriage
So any money you people have to support the man give it to your sister to support her while she is with your parents
Peskid: lol mama,he's rili in need of it hence the reason he's an hurry ejor pls send him anything you can, I'd have sent him small thing I'm just a student I don't have money to spare, you are one of the smartest and nicest person on this forum, I've been taking note of you since last year, pls kip up with the good work God will reward you
Darlingme: Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.
What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone? He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings? What kind of situation is this? Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle? What would you advise such a wife? Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?
Cheating doesn't solve this kind of problem
If you can't tolerate such bad attitude which places him as a lazy man
Ignore him and continue to run uoir home and face your children
If he dares raises his hand on you or give you any verbal abuse, just separate from him and move on with your life
By the time he can't fend for himself he will dust his shoes
play5050: Good morning nairalanders Please how can I get Nigeria police clearance certificate urgently in Lagos and how much can it cost me plus the duration it will take.
If anyone has done it before should share idea please. Na japa level Please push it to Front page for wide contribution please.
You will get it at the police forensic office at Alagbon
Go with two passport pictures and your international passport
AgbadoDie: Hello, Guys! I will make it snappy Actually I met this babe, a single mom and fell in love with her. We have been dating since February when I returned to East and met her. I brought her to City where I base and to be very honest, I have provided what ever this single mom ever asked of and supported her mom and younger ones like they are my family. To show you how much I love her, I PUT HER FIRST IN MY LIFE AND WHATEVER I DO.
Recently, his brother who ran away to ABJ and got stranded, she has been pleading with me to send him money to come back and join us for just 2 months and we will help him with accommodation rent and support till he stand. This didn't go down well with me, but just to make her happy, I sent her brother money and he joined us.
Since that day till now I am typing this, this lady who I have been catering and suffering for just pushed me aside and put his brother first. Why I am typing this, No.1, she no longer give me sex whether night or day. She says it's an insult to her since his brother is around. No.2, if I ask the boy (22yrs) to do something, she will refuse and rather go and do it. The one that made me write this this night is that she came back from work, just to first ask me about his brother, secondly, she was very busy and serious begging his brother to eat while I have not eaten and she doesn't show care.
Actually, if I do what I intended doing for this single mom, I am scared she will forget me and face her family.
I want to call it a quit with her. I have talked to her not to put her brother before me but she doesn't listen.
Sorry, I forget to say I help his brother get job immediately on his relocation.
Pls, I need matured advice as I no longer see any future with her.
You can convert the red flag you are seeing in this relationship to a coat and wear it
You are on your own
I keep wondering what you guys have in mind when you ask a woman to move into your house just like that
That means as women are desperate, men too are desperate
@Op Use your tongue and count your teeth, such a woman will control the hell out of your life
Remijuice: Madam herself, I dey hail o! @ the bolded, that's what the guy actually wants but, doesn't know the diplomatic way of doing it.
Please, if you get any plan, tell him.
Greeting from here too
See as a guy, if you know that you can't solve a womans problem just leave her the way you met her and don't just be sleeping with her and still attach pity of help on her
Women nature is quite different from men's nature
Our accessories are much
So far he is not sleeping with her and has not been sleeping with her and won't sleep with her, is easy to dodge her
But once you have slide in and want to slide in again
Dainy1: So, a lady shared her experience with me at work and I want more insight. A man lied and defrauded his struggling wife of some certain amount of money in a business transcaction, only for the lady to get to know the truth, the real amount the item was bought and the account which she made payments to, was an arrange POS guy's account and not the company's account as he claimed.
After confronting her husband, he got angry at her for making unnecessary investigation behind his back accordingly to him.
Married people in the house, have you ever experienced a situation where your partner, lied and defrauded you and you get to know later? What did you do? What can you advise in such situations? Do you think a husband or wife who behave like this, truly love? Can you divorce your partner for this reason? Pls matured mind.
Fraudsters are big liers
There is no need for divorce
She should stop trusting him simple
And she shouldn't get intimidates by his harassments
Jewessgratitud3: Admin pls post. Mummies in house pls help a worried mother, I registered my baby in one daycare close to my shop, so after closing I went to pick my child so on getting there her teacher started begging me that she mistakenly burnt my baby face with hot fork 🍴. According to her she said she didn’t know my baby was standing behind her while she was cooking. So this is my baby’s face after the black ones has peeled off. Will the mark go away, what should I apply to make this mark go pls help. NAwa oo things Dey happen,my people what do you think about this? 🤔
#copied .is the care giver saying the truth about the burn accident? Someone said it looks like it was deliberately done that an accident will not look so accurate. Hmm... Mothers, mind the kind of daycare you take your babies to
It will go away as it did not get deep into the skin
She is still tender and her body system will fade it away
But you should sue that beech for child abuse and the school will pay heavily as compensation if you press charges
Lexzeey: This girl was a casual friend for a while, we live in the same street, we were close friends, I noticed she was into me for two reasons, first reason is she gets angry when she sees me with other girls to the point of not talking to me, second, some guy from her church came to warn me to stay away from her because he's interested in marrying her, and I told the guy we're just friends, when I told her what happened, she laughed and told me she's with the guy because she got tired of waiting for me to ask her out, which I never did.
So I gave her space to be with her guy, we only kept in touch online, she left for her home town, for almost six months I didn't hear from her, I later found out she got pregnant for the same guy who warned me to stay away from her, funny thing is, the guy abandoned her with the baby, she was ashamed, she couldn't tell me she got knocked up by the guy, she's now back from her home town, living with her sister whose house is down my street, we met and I didn't act surprised or anything, I just ask about her baby and everything, now the problem now is, since she returned, she's been doing stuff I find uncomfortable, trying to initiate stuff when she visit me, trying to get me to visit her, calling me every now and then and getting mad if I don't check on her, she kept trying to ignite a relationship by telling me stuff she should have saved for her baby daddy, now I can't outrightly abandon her based on the fact that we were close friends before the whole pregnancy thing.
How do I let her down easy without loosing the friendship, to be clear I don't want a relationship with her, the baggage is too much and I don't want to walk right into that, I just want to stop her from making another mistake by getting pregnant a second time.
I think you should leave her with her mistakes because you don't know the options she has
But if you don't want her to make another mistake, take her in and she will be far from mistakes
Nataliace: The younger brother to my husband occasionally comes to visit us. My husband takes good care of him and support his business dealings.
He trusts his brother that he can travel for weeks leaving us together.
Recently my brother in-law's movement towards me changed.
He sometimes rub his hands on my back as if he was just being friendly. He made strange and unusual move towards me several times and I was uncomfortable with that.
I warned him that if he doesn't stop I will report to my husband.
My husband travelled last week and his brother has begun his behaviors of unexpectedly touching my body and showing up in my room or just following me to the kitchen whenever I am preparing meal.
I thought of reporting to his brother but I don't want to be the reason they will be enemies for life.
How do I stop him so this remain between two of us?
This is sincerely becoming unbearable.
As a matter of urgency You have to report him to your husband and advice your husband to advice him not to be coming regularly especially when he is not around
If you can't tell your husband
Then in the presence of your husband, tell your brother inlaw that you will appreciate that any time he wants to come for a visit, he should inform your husband who will notify you about your intending visit
That you and your husband have put some things in place and have change somethings abouryupur house and family
This kind of brother inlaw is risky to keep your daughter or son with him alone at home
I said baby factories because a baby factory is illegal..
A baby factory is not a legal orphanage or foster home.
but you defended
Any woman or lady you see in any baby factories are their own their own and no one forced them because they know that they are there to solve people's problems
So many people goes there to adopt because it's cheaper than the regular one that charges more just for adoption
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Mynd44 can this be on front page I need advice.
Thanks
I think the problem here is you not the guy
These are my assessments
You are talking about bride price when you are in a pitiable condition that you regard as marriage, whereas the guy and his family has no regards for you to so what will be the value of bride price being paid to tye you down for nothing
For seven years you stick to a man with no future and you don't know the exit route or are you under a spell
Your son can be taken to your parents then you get out and find your bearing
What makes you think you have a future staying with someone who doesn't even have directions
His family are asking you when you will have another child but having another child will be a bigger burden on you
You said you were abroad before coming home, why not go back and leave your child with your parents, or does it mean you don't know how to leave him and go your way or you don't know where you parents are Or have your parents abandoned you too
Very soon, you too will lose focus and balance and that is when it will be dawn on you that you are at the point of no return
If you want to librate yourself, you know what to do
And if you still want to be in this tight corner, remain there,
She said the man is irresponsible and never paid her bride price
So let the court decide if the court recognizes bride price
Now talk about change of name If the man did not pay her bride price, she shouldn't have changed their surname to the new lover but to her father's name
She should have changed it to her own biological father's name, that's what people from that side does
If you do not to pay a woman's bride price, those children doesn't belong to you, but to the father of the woman by their own tradition
But the major reason why she did so was because it was a request made by her Lover who has been caring for her and her children
We don't have to fault her because we don't know the options she has before doing so
But what about that irresponsible father who left his responsibilities since 2020
Both of them are not suppose to go into family ways in the first place
Dexy4yah: I dated this lady for few years... doing our courtship we had unprotected sex. I later relocated to another state because of my studies....that's how the relationship died.
She later got married
After about 13years of not hearing from eachother....one day my phone rang and behold she was the one...she called to tell me a secret...she said her first child is mine and not her husband's. That doing our courtship she took in, she tried to abort it but it didn't work out for her, she didn't tell me about it because she knew that i was not ready to father a child at that time.
It was at that moment that she met this guy who is now her husband...the guy hasten everything and got married to her...she made him believe that the pregnancy is his own whereas that's was not the true...the boy is 8years old now. She said her conscience has been disturbing her that's why she opened up to me.
I told her never to let the husband know about it and let the child be the husband's own....let her just forget everything about me being the father of the child so that her marriage won't crumble. She has a loving husband and she is blessed with three kids aside the boy.
But she made one comment that when the boy reach 22years she will tell him who his real father is....she insisted. But am against it, i told her not to try it because if she end up telling the boy about it there is every possibility that the husband will end up knowing about it and i wonder how he is going to react towards it.
(Women can keep secret sha) Please i hope i did the right thing??
You did well with your response and how you handled this difficult matter
If she insist on exposing a secret you have already closed, that's her business, If it affects her marriage
Besides, it's to your advantage to collect your child when it's exposed and she will loose her marriage
Unless she is doing so with the plans to come back to you
Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do.
You didn't do well to protect him from your family demands
You acted in a way that he was the one that wants to marry you so he should do the bidding
You know his capacity and you allowed your family to obtain him even to the point of him borrowing to meet up. That was a reap off
You sound as if you don't care which ever way he will get his money All you know is that after all he is the one that came for your hand in marriage so he should deal with it
I lost support for you when you said that your dad won't back out
So as it is, you supported your family and left him on his own
Now he is feeling too bad not just because of all he spent but your personal attitude is turning him off
Incase you don't know Your family wrecked him of all his savings and he is already indebted to so many people that you are not aware of
Now, do you think his family are happy with not just the marriage cost but including you and your people
Well, he is already displaying his anger and it's a 50/50 thing
If you still feel that you want him to come back to whom you know him to be You have to change somethings about you and that may calm him down
You have to be humble and respectful
If you can take care of yourself without asking him a penny for the time been, then start practicing that
That guy was not really capable of that marriage and he entered into it just to please you probably
Now, what he is expecting in the marriage and you was not what is coming up in the union
So both of you should seat down and sort it out before it gets beyond this stage
Women should learn how to protect their suitor when it comes to marriage plans
The harsh economy is affecting men more than women
BLIVESHEALTH: Okay I make like 100k to 150k monthly I am into e-commerce. My brother is late and that is a deciding factor he got two kids, after school not planning to marry early because I want to like train those kids. I have got a girlfriend for over two years she is a year, 4 months older than me. She is 1998 I am 2000. She is faithful, loyal but I am Not envisioning marriage with her because I felt time is not on her end. Okay met a new girl. She is not as good as my girlfriend but she is not that bad... We have fun and I tend to laugh more when we are together. At least I give my sister upkeep, and my niece and nephew. I can't keep two girls I am at the bridge I must choose one. Which would you advise me both of them love me deeply
Go with anyone that gives you absolute joy and peace of mind
You can still raise a family while training your late brother's child
lilgees: I'm just realizing i have different names almost everywhere, e.g my Int'l Passport, my birth certificate and my results. I was given a first name, 1 middle name and a last name, but i hated my name so i came up with a new name and started going by it, then when i did my confirmation my made up name became "church official" so i did and affidavit including my two middle names. But now now my names are messed up everywhere and the bank closed my account due to the name inconsistency between the name i used in the bank and my bvn and the name on my bvn matches none of my official document because it's the short form of my long name, i also want to change my birth certificate if that's possible, i know this is very confusing but please i need advice what do i do?
Assuming you state those names is will be easier for one to advice you on how to go for name modifications
However, whatever you have in your certificate use it as your complete names then go to NIN of to modify your name
Take it to bank and match up with the same data, then go to Abuja with your international passport for final modifications of name
Just try and see what makes her cum quickly Not her fault though..if a woman reaches orgasm during sex then they will always want that experience to continue... It is the sweetest thing to women
But she should have it in mind and understand that it is easier for men to reach orgasm easily before a woman gets to orgasm
Like i said try and see what makes her come quickly I was with a girl in the past immediately she climbs me and do the cow girl position during sex she gets to orgasm within 4 minutes Also know this women are emotional people...so most of them their orgasm also depends on if they have feelings for you and if their mind is totally with you
Family › Re: How Do I Assist My Sister Who Has An Insensitive Hubby?. by frozen70(f): 2:15pm On Aug 16, 2023
