₦airaland Forum

UyaiIncomparabl:
I am never happy. For every reason I have/find, I'm just always happy and content with my sadness. I always find a reason to be downcast and burdened. I'm very skeptical about everything/everyone around me. I carry scars of everything I have seen and see; pain, sadness, disaster, sickness, death etc. I wear on the gloom and doom of a hundred persons. I can't even say if I'm a sadist.

I constantly seek the meaning of life, the reason of my existence, and as soon as I can't find the meaning, I pass aggression or get mad at myself. I don't have trouble building relationships with others, but I don't strive to build them anyway. I don't like people. I have a huge difficulty fitting into the norms of the society. Could it be that I'm not in the right society for me to be appreciated?

I strive to make friends but I cut them off before they even come close. I'm a realist but people misunderstand it as pessimism.

I'm a very good, ambitious, nice, lovable, generous and approachable person, but people scare me. There's no real love in the world. I have a fairly good life to be thankful for. I have good people around me too, thankfully, but I'm still not happy.

I have a stable job. A fairly good business by the side. I have a good shelter above my head, in school and enough food to eat, in fact, I have totally everything to make the average young adult happy. On here, people might mistake me to be an outgoing and bubbly personality, but in real life, I'm not that. I only come here to have fun, and out of here, feel miserable.

I'm not even passionate about what I even do. I have a job but I don't enjoy it. I just love to be by myself and still get angry for being by myself. In turn, I'm called non-challant.

I'm very passionate about the arts, fashion, poetry, academics, but I lack the right motivation to forge with these things. I usually am very immersed in my emotions to do anything reasonable. In totality, I'm just a sad person.


Is there a help to combat recurrent melancholic symptoms? Do other people feel this way? Am I okay?

The truth is you are complacent with your kind of life and not ready to pull out of it

I wonder how you can raise a family with this system

Onlinealaba:
6kg washing machine available for grab
55k only

Pls can I get a LG washing machine from you

The size of 8kg is OK for my family

A772:
Please Nigerians I really need your advice.

My father has never been responsible to us(my mother & her 4 children, I'm the third (all girls). Though he was never educated (but very exposed) giving excuses of how witches in his village never gave him the opportunity to get educated, my mother has been the bread winner of the family, though not educated but very hardworking unlike my father. ( my mother saw us through school).

Years later, my father came up with an accusation of my mother being initiated into witchcraft and that she is responsible for his inability to take care of his family( meanwhile my father has never been educated nor has a skill). This led to their divorce. (We really suffered due to this but I have to make this writing as short as possible). I was 10 when this happened ( in 2001)
My father had so many rich women as girlfriends, due to his exposure until he finally got married to one.

My father later got married to a woman, who later took him to USA for about 9years ( they later divorced due to the fact that my father was a tough and stubborn man, and this woman too has d same attitude, so they never lasted due to this ( my mum is very gentle and that was why my dad took a tough one on her). My father could not get a job over there because he had no qualification/skill, so he had to return back to Nigeria. At this time he was already 62( years)
(Don't forget since my childhood, my father was never responsible for our upbringing till now)

Ever since he returned, he was always telling people &us that our mother due to her witchcraft is responsible for his misfortune and that we her children must pay dearly.

This year around April I was preparing for introduction with my fiancee, my fiance,Pastors in my mums church,and other elders in my fathers family(despite the fact they were never there for us) around were giving advice that I must inform my father irrespective of his misdeed about my plans on marriage, making me see some importance of father's blessing towards marriage. ( I was feeling reluctant, wondering wat blessing could come out from a father that curses his children even on their birthdays)
As soon as I took my fiancee to him, he said he will allow my fiancee marry me without stress and that he doesn't need to go through any introduction or wedding with me because he hates my mother, but he is willing to support only court wedding. ( I wept bitterly on hearing this, (he doesn't want an introduction/ wedding except court wedding)

Pastors of RCCG( My mothers church since) met with my dad several times to beg him but he gave an order that no body must represent him in his entire family and I mustn't have a wedding until my mother releases him to go back to USA to make it in life, I became frustrated, so I had to break up the relationship since my guy was also bent on fatherly blessing and that without it he can't get married to me. No one is willing to represent him in my fathers family.

How will I get married without introduction/ traditional marriage?
When will my father make it in life ( without education/skill/ business)?
I am approaching 30years, my 2 elder sisters are between ages of 32-35 unmarried ( how/when do I get married)?
Yoruba People are really laying emphases on fatherly blessing ( how do I get it from such father)?
My mum can't take decision because she is too gentle and fear what people may say of her since she is a minister in the church.

Nigerians please we need help.

Hmmm, your father us a devil's advocate, am sorry to say that

When next you get a suitor and he begins to misbehave, just get along with the guy

When your father dies, those around will accept the marriage rites

That he is a failure is not enough reason for him to close doors for you people

KennyAyodeji:
Good morning great people.

Pls, I need ur advise and no abuse pls.

My hubby from day 1 we no ourselves, he gives me his phone. Even if he put password on phone, and I ask, he tells me straight away.

Last 3 days now, I discovered he called one no often, so I saved d no and asked him who's so so so, but didn't ans me and I left him.
3rd day, I told him if u don't tell me, I won't give u d phone, so I hold d phone, d same no called him, and can't pick d call b4 it end, and she didn't call back. So, I decided to call back with my phone.
Immediately she picked my call, she decided to call me back, so wen she called back, I end d call and call her back and asked her, maybe she has any msg she wanted to pass to him.

So she z is dis so so so wife, I z no. And continued, z her name is so so so, but my hubby came to tell her about me, that they were both even laughing and gisting, that I should not panic, that she just like my hubby bla bla bla... So I asked her, I don't ask u all dis, tell me y u are calling him, but refused and I end d call...

Now my question is dis; my hubby refused to give me his password, which has never happened before for 6yrs ago in my marriage, so I decided to give him his phone. Am I wrong

But not just happy with him at all.
Ur advise pls

Your narratives is very poor and we can't start imagining how to comprehend what we are reading that is not making sense

You too read it and you will understand that it's not meaning full

Pls you can rewrite it with a clearer English

Jadeobee:
Hi

I’m currently pregnant for my husband and I’ve just been wondering after vaginal birth if it goes back to normal. I’ve heard instances where men will tell their wives it feels the same, but it’s only to make them feel good about themselves.

I think this question is mainly directed to men because I feel like sometimes we women like to deceive ourselves with lies. Does sexual intercourse feel the same with someone who has had a child? Also can you tell the difference between someone who has a child and someone who doesn’t even if they don’t tell you? I just want to have a discussion about this.

Thanks.

I don't know why you should be bothered about this

You can opt for a CS and put your mind at rest

Ujuvals1:
[size=8pt][b][font=Lucida Sans Unicode]My dear nairalanders Good evening.

I just want to pour out my heart here because i am suicidal and i am hoping God will comfort me and help me through.

The heart of man they say is desperately wicked and it just dawned on mw today.

I am a married woman with kids, my husband's business had crumbled over three years ago and i have been the one holding forth the home.

The country is so tough that for a man without capital for business or education, he may spend longer time trying to find his feet.

Things had been so rough for us over these years, i have been doing all jobs just to survive.I work in a small company that pay me monthly, the weekends i also wash and do menial jobs for people to support the home front.

My husband in turn takes care of our kid, do the chores and move around for anything he can lay his hands on but its been so tough.


In october a friend asked my husband to join him in business in the market that way he can find his feet.He talked to me abt it, we agreed i should take loan and i took loan of 250,000naira to enable him start business while i gradually work and pay it up monthly.

He has been going to work since october and sincerely things got better becauze with the funds he was able to do business and give me some money from the gain to support the house and also join in repaying the loan.

Just few days ago, the man whom they were working together said they should buy goods as usual to resell which they did, the man also encouraged other traders to buy too because his northern customers were coming to purchase them.

People bought and we were happy that after the sales our lives will get better, so the northerners came and the goods were sold.His friend was credited and when the man tried to transfer them the money but said network issue because the transfer wasnt going.

They went to the bank but it was on friday and time had gone so he said he would credit all traders that did the business togther their money that night, thats how this man went home and nobody knew he had plans.

By early morn my husband didnt sleep at night so he went to the man place in the morn to ask why the delay, he went there with other men too who wanted to collect their money.We got the shock of our lives.The man had travelled abroad with traders money and my husband's own inclusive.


We are really at a loss on what to do and i am frustrated as i cant explain why this hardluck had to fall on me.People say women dont support a struggling man but here i am supporting for over three years and this is how my christmas ended.

I am writing now in tears because i dont even know whatelse to do, the man literally left with the whole money.We have no dime on us, i dont know how we will survive, i have to keep repaying the loan for few more months and yet we have nothing to live on.

To be sincere my faith is really broken and shaken.i got this sad news immediately i got back from vigil where i went to dance and thank God for his love and faithfulness.

Where do we go from here with a little kid that has to survive, my office is very far and i spend about 1000 a day to and fro and with this situation now i dunno what to do.

Why are human beings so heartless, this is how this man travelled and wrecked many homes in a desperate bid to leave the country.


I dont know if people have any right words to calm me because i am shaken, i am depressed and frustrated.The burden is so much moreso in december when january is tougher and waiting.


How do we cope from here?Lord pls save me.I am shattered beyond words.

Believe in God, that man will be deported in a most disgracing manner

He will suffer more wherever he is or will be

As for your husband God has a bigger plan for him

Akinsoladwayne:
hi,good afternoon everybody,and i am wishing you a wonderful christmas.
i have a minor issue that i need you guys advice on.i was born in the late 90's, to a single mum. Now here is the full story.
i was given birth to on 18th of feb,19## to a single and to a married man in which he had another wife before laying with my mum.
my father is one of the notable engineers in the state and an american citizen . Before the demise of my mum i would recall vividly how hardworking she was and how she cared so much about me even though we had nobody. i never asked about my dad until she was long gone and i had to be taken in by grandmother. so there was this day my grandma and i were conversing and i asked her my dad's whereabout,i could remember how she heaved a huge sigh and told me how my dad deserted my mum and i when i was much younger giving one filmsy excuse on how my dad complained whenever he carried me and i cried so loud to the extent that whenever he dropped me then i stopped crying.This brought about the argument btwn my mum and my supposedly father,saying he wasnt the owner of the child cuz anytime he got me carried i cried.This was how my dad left my mum until her demise. its been 17years now that i lost her,and my dad has never picked up his phone to contact me just to know if i am alive or dead. i feel terribly hurt cuz ive nevr had a fatherly care throughout my growing. Although what this man did has caused me pains and has left an unhealing scar in my heart. should i move on or i should make effort in trying to get him?and moreover,here is a man that does not want to see me at all.

Try and reach out to him

If he cares he will search for you and if he doesn't search for you, my dear move on

It's a difficult world we live in and we have to be prepared to confront our challenges

Don't let what your dad did to your mum to set you back, it's not an excuse to your way to success

The lesson there is for you not to follow his part

Sabby1:
The mobs went too far
I don't fancy murder for as a price for stealing. Nigerian youths are sometimes ignorant
Why murder him?
Why didn't they torture him since they don't trust Nigerian security agencies?
Anyway, our so called politicians looting public funds are still moving freely like air

God help us

You don't fancy murder because these idiots have never dealt with you

Which ever way he died of his own luck

If he has been doing legitimate jobs things wouldn't have gotten to the stage of him being killed in a disgraceful manner

mikezuruki:
Is It Proper For Me As A Friend Attend This Engagement?

I will make this short as possible.

I will be attending a friend of mine engagement party today who happened to have impregnated the girl before marriage plan. That wasn't his plan. His parents didn't give their blessings hence they are not showing up for the engagement party.

Is it right for me as a friend to show up for something like this that was not blessed nor consented by the parents of the groom to be?

What do you think? mature ones please

Whether his parents approves it or not is not binding on you but on their son

You are attending for the sake of your friendship and you must attend

portune:
What should I do about this? I am gainfully employed. Gives her 60k for house upkeep. I buy bulk thinks like yam , rice, oil tomato etc. She locks shop on me always. I need your thoughts on this pls.

Always giving excuses. At night, "I am tired". In the morning, "go work abeg others have left and making money and you are here looking for who to ram."

Even few moments I press her to it she will insult me sotee my prick falls down.

For her to be reacting in this manner, the love has either gone off or their is an issue that has been pending which has not been resolved

How could you be giving her 60k per month and still buy bulk food stuff

Tells us more pls

saydfact:
The answer is with you..

How much are you wiling to spend? Offcourse the more expensive one wld look and feel better.. But the other isn't wrong also.

Your choice

Thanks

ndidibabe:
I was brought up in a house where our drinkable water is fetched directly from the tap. Even while in boarding school and in the University, I fetched my drinkable water directly from the tap. Somehow, when I started working, I rented an apartment where the tap was so dirty. Even when I asked a plumber to wash the tank, I still couldn't drink water from the tap. I kept remembering how he dipped his dirty legs inside the tank so I resulted into CWAY. Now, I am married and live with my family in a house we built. We have a bore hole and two overhead tanks while a tap is directly linked to the bore hole. Hubby washes the two tanks himself at least once in three months. We have so many people staying with us at the moment(relatives and workers)and I have been trying to convince my hubby that we do not need to waste money on CWAY since the tanks are clean and one tap is even connected directly but he thinks if we need to fetch our water from the tap, then it must be boiled. I have tried to boil the water once but I don't like the taste coupled with the fact that u have to wait till it cools down. For me, CWAY is a waste of money especially if you have a large family. I am thinking of an alternative source of getting a good drinkable water....

Pls give me an idea how your hubby washes the water tank

Is it with brand new foam and soap, or with foam and water or does he use new mopping stick

Does he need to enter inside to get it washed

gbadexy:
you may use whichever screeding.
Only flat paints like matte and satin looks good on screeded wall, besides ordinary emulsion paint doesn't need screeding.

Ohhh thanks soo much

gbadexy:
He may sandpaper the wall and apply primer and it would look good.
I think screeding still gives the best finish though.
If you want to reduce peeling of satin, apply a good primer on the sandpapered screeded wall before applying satin.
After screeding, the wall has to be sandpapered and it leaves residual powders on the surface whites rubs off easily. This loose powders prevent the paint from having a strong bond with the wall. If satin is painted on ordinary cement plastered wall, it would not peel off except there is damp issue but you can't apply satin on unscreeded wall. It would look unsightly.
A good primer applied just lightly over the sandpapered screeding would bind the loose powders to the wall and shouldn't rub off the wall easily before applying the satin so that it has a stable surface to bond properly with.

Thanks very much

Pls should I go for cement screeding even if I am using emulsion paint or satin paint

Will I still get the smooth surface I need like that of pop

Since cement stays longer and doesn't peel

If I screed and use emulsion paint, will it look beautiful as using satin paint

I need your advise on which one is better for internal rooms of the building

White pop or cement pop for screeding and why

gbadexy:
These are the pictures from the screeding of a very wonderful nairalander's project.
It was a great experience doing business with such a perfect gentleman.

Pls I need your advice, I want to sreed my wall before painting and the painter is talking about using white paint and cement for priming before painting

Then I like satin paint, but why does it normally pill of after a while

Is it because of pop that satin paints normal peel of with time or that's the nature of satin paint

gbadexy:
It's possible although it may not be appealing.
Satin being a high sheen paint highlights contours on the wall.
If the cement plaster is smooth, then it can be applied.

Pls why does satin paint peel over time
Is it caused by pop screeding, will it be better on cement screeding or better still paint the wall with satin without screeding

gbadexy:
Regular cement plastering is quite different from cement screeding.
Screeding of either cement or gypsum based is done over cement plaster.
It's a relatively less thick coat used to correct errors on cement plaster to give a very smooth and level surface that ordinary cement plasters can't give.
Cement screeding is stronger no doubt. It's also smoother given the presence of free lime in it.
Water won't also be able to affect it, unlike pop screeding that would swell and peel off when in contact with water. So cement screeding can be used both inside and outside.
Gypsum screeding has some fire retardant advantage at a relatively low temperature, under 250 degree C. Theoretically it supplies oxygen for more combustion at very high temperature above 900 degrees if the fire hasn't been put out. But gypsum screeding has limestone powder as filler and that also releases carbon dioxide at the temperature gypsum releases oxygen.
Back to reality, cement screeding sets slowly. That's the major reason I think it's not widely used by contractors. They need a fast setting plaster to screed and leave the site on time for other jobs.
Paint would also stick well, especially satin on cement screeding and it won't peel off easily.

Pls advise me on which to take

My painter said he will sampaper the wall and prime it with white paint before the real paint

But I prefer, wall screeding with pop

What are the advantages and disadvantages

Donexy16:
But what exactly will I do with the "eggs" if I buy them

Decorate your house with it

SirLiquidGold:
I will go straight to the point. I'm 29years old and I have no girlfriend to call mine. Although when I was in school and during my NYSC some girls do give me attention but the moment we all did POP it was like the world changed for us all. I realized maybe I was too busy getting worried about the future than I should have had more time for women.

All along, my intention was to graduate, have a good job, then go into a serious relationship and get married but reality can be often disappointing.
It's rather unfortunate that no job is forthcoming since I finished service in December, 2017.

I'm very sure you would not believe it if tell you that I'm a virgin because I've never tasted sex all my live. Though i intend getting married at 30 and I've no job yet, I really feel like having a girl in my life now. I feel really lonely waking up alone everyday and hugging my pillow. It's as if nature is craving for what I ought to have had by now.

I need somebody that I can share my thought with, somebody I would be there for and also would be there for me. Guys I know you are wiser than I am, please advise me!!! Just yesterday night I came across a post on front page about "if money was delaying one from getting married and I am really worried

Since you intend getting married at 30yrs,

Pls go into relationship and experience what it is especially as you said you are a virgin

You need to know the nitty gritty of a relationship before marriage

[quote author=CotenantNIG post=85095143]Lagos is a port and the most populous city in Nigeria. It is the second fastest-growing city in Africa and the seventh in the world. The population of Lagos according to the Lagos State Government, was 17.5 million. These figures are however disputed by the Nigerian Government and judged unreliable by the National Population Commission of Nigeria. The latest reports estimate the population at 21 million, making Lagos the largest city in Africa.

Lagos is a metropolitan area which originated on islands separated by creeks, such as Lagos Island, fringing the southwest mouth of Lagos Lagoon while protected from the Atlantic Ocean by long sand spits such as Bar Beach, which stretch up to 100 kilometres (62 miles) east and west of the mouth. From the beginning, Lagos has expanded on the mainland west of the lagoon and the conurbation, including Ikeja (which is the capital of Lagos) and Agege, now reaches more than 40 kilometres (25 miles) north-west of Lagos Island. Some suburbs include Ikorodu, Epe and Badagry, and more local councils have recently been created, bringing the total number of local governments in Lagos to 57.

Be careful in this Locations when buying land , make sure you take your time to investigate this properties thou there is no place you cant be duped or the land seized later by the state government but ill be listing the places with some few information about the places like their origin etc

We want to thank Omo Onile Lawyer for this Investigation that revealed this Locations

Beware of Fraudulent real estate agents

Ibeju Lekki
Beware of buying land in ibeju lekki from just any real estate firm, some of the lands in Ibeju Lekki have incomplete or no approval from the state government before real estate firms start selling them. Most fraudsters will claim to have sold a lot of lands to prospective buyers, they'll sweet talk you with the fact that very soon the caterpillars will come to the land to clear the place and de-liminate the roads. A Lawyer reveals that when asked what accompanying document they have, they'll say and they that they have applied for the gazette and the excision is under processing at the Land registry at Alausa.


Badagry
One has to be very careful if you must buy any land in Badagry, because many lands there are either under Government acquistion for either tourism or other purposes. You don't want to fall victim to Land scam artists selling land to unsuspecting people. Recall that the Nigerian Police demolished over 500 houses for building on their lands sold to them unsuspectingly by Land fraudsters.

Cooperative Villa Badore
here many defective lands at Badore Here it will shock you as to how the local touts called 'Omoniles' will forge a deed, survey plan and claim the land falls under the Badore Excision, beware for most of the lands fall within the Cooperative Villa Government Scheme. Its quite sad that often these crooks go unpunished and one can only feel pity for those who have ignorantly purchased lands there, because they would never have the opportunity to perfect their documents.

Ikola Ipaja
There is a land here in which the said owner claims is hitch free. They'll show you a survey plan mapping the whole area in their name including receipts. But a deeper insight will show that the land offered for sale falls within Ipaja New Town Scheme. It is recommended that one always watches out for the red-flags when land acquisition is involved.

Ifako Gbagada, Kosofe
The agents of this particular lands located off Adegbenro street in Ifako, are really forceful and would threaten buyers to pay up quickly to be able to secure the land. Investigative Lawyer reports that his client was to pay about N20Million for that plot of land, but was wise enough to conduct a search.

Badore Ajah
Badore has lands that can be very tempting to purchase, but it is shocking to know that of all the beautiful houses surrounding Badore, very few people have good documents, hence most land owners there live in fear. The trouble is that Government might come any day to demolish what one has built over the years, for this reason Allied Gardens must be properly investigated before you make payment.

Notable Mentions

Ikeja

Eko Atlantic City

Ikoyi

Magodo

Yaba

Ikorodu

Opic Estate Agbara

Gbagada


Millions of Nigerians whether home or abroad have hopes of having a house of their own in Lagos, but there is a common reoccurring fear of how best to safeguard their money as to avoid being duped by land Fraudsters or lose their lands to the Government. There are terrifying stories that usually goes with the smooth transfer of lands due to the prevalent nature of land Scam artists and dubious real estate companies that specialize in ripping prospective land purchasers. Bearing this in mind, there are ten things one must do when preparing to get a land. especially is a city like Lagos that has its slogan as "Shine your eyes"- which entails being ever smart and alert as not to fall prey to tricksters.


The ten guidelines or steps to take when acquiring landed property in Lagos are as follows:
Budget for the type of land you seek to buy, verify that the land is really up for sale by the right agent, ensure that the land document are complete.
Involve professionals in the deal(Preferably a Lawyer), get to see the land physically, run away from any land that smells like trouble, never pay for land transaction in cash.
Get as many opinions on the land as possible, sellers are cheats.
Ensure that all agreements of transaction are written, once you've paid, build something instantly.

Source
https://cotenant.ng/2019/12/21/places-in-lagos-you-should-be-careful-of-before-buying-land/


[/quote
You just mentioned the whole land in Lagos State

You generalised it

Casemiro:
like seriously?



but bitter kola doesn't smell.


If it were garlic or anything with strong odour then I would understand.



How then can bitter kola be explained since it has no odour

The way animals perceive is different from ours

His visit is OK but that head bridge is the beginning and end of Onitsha hold up every festive season

CapitalHYC:
Source : https://dailypost.ng/2019/12/20/kano-ganduje-gives-emir-sanusi-two-days-ultimatum-over-appointment/

By force by fire appointment

Islie:
https://www.newtelegraphng.com/2019/12/kidnappers-kill-member-for-fleeing-with-n5m-buying-lexus/

I don't have pity for any of them

I only feel pity for the person that bought the keep, he is not even aware of the illegality

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

Women and their manipulating nature

Let her cry well well

You have done nothing wrong and she made you to say what you said

Tell her if she doesn't take those children to market to get their dresses, you will treat her in a manner that will correct her senses and be strick about it

She is being selfish and nothing else

It's either she brakes or she bends

Make your stand and don't shift your ground

If she doesn't cook for you, get the meals prepared yourself if you can or eat out

Am a woman but I don't like women holding men to ransom even when the man is the one spending the money

If you guys are serious, pack your things to that flat

Start living with him, when he goes out, lock the door and go out too

If he breaks the door, get a carpenter to remove the entire entrance door

If it's iron door, get a welder to remove the hinges and take the door that he has damaged, claiming that you took it for repairs

If he is still defiant, pack your load and his load out to the corridor, get a mason to start doing slow renovation of the house

This is dry season and rain won't beat your properties

That guy doesn't have money to go to court and if he has, he won't spend it with a lawyer

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

Hmmmm,

My dear, this one is heavy

You can't fight them as it is now

You don't know if it's his sisters that contributed to his schooling or where he is working now

Just stop begging them

Be yourself, be respectful and don't insult any of them but if they do to you, give it back to them

Stop spending so much to feed the battalion of them in your family, let your husband be providing anytime they come around

Don't do anything to please them, they don't deserve it

Start saving some money for yourself and the children

As for your husband, don't bother him again about his sisters attitude, he will never see any fault in them, but time will tell

Just mind your business and concentrate on your children and marriage

When the sister's sees that you cared less about who they are, they will stop worrying you

It won't last for ever

Casemiro:
what does the bitter kola do please

Snake perceive smells and bitter cola scares them away

Ichie233:
How much did you buy

I bought it 73,000 from fouani LG show room for 8kg

PhenomenalAustin:
Sorry oo

But I thought Trump banned this??

Yes he did, but in this case, the father is already a citizen

He was referring to non citizens coming to give birth to get citizenship for their children when either of their parents are not

Gemineye:
Sure, but what i mean is will this new policy prevent candidates from applying for DE and UTME at same time??

I think one have to get it and arm yourself

This government is unpredictable especially this Jamb man