₦airaland Forum

Priscy01:
A Nigerian woman shared her marital woes on a Facebook group and the replies she got are quite interesting to read.

According to the woman, her husband hasn't been intimate with her for 2 years though they live in the same house but they are living like a tenant. She said he married a new wife and brought her home and he now gives his undivided attention to his new pregnant wife and cares nothing for her. She's now asking if she should have an affair with another man who is asking her out, seeing as she is tired of masturbating.

Read what the woman wrote below;
NO SEX WITH MY HUSBAND FOR ALMOST 2YEARS, CAN I HAVE AN AFFAIRS?
My husband has not touched me for almost 2years. Is it still wrong for me to look for someone else?
We are in a marriage of 15years with 3 boys.
Almost 5years ago he asked if I minded if he had a second wife.
I told him I did mind because I hate polygamous marriage setting but he had the second wife anyway and has had several several affairs since.
He hasn't touched me since almost 2 years, we live as flat mates.
He wouldn't let me leave with my kids because he wanted to stay in the house together with his new wife who's pregnant and centre of his attention.
A man has shown interest in me, is it still wrong to have a physical relationship with him, even though I still live with my husband.
I haven't had a physical relationship for 2years. I'm tired of masturbation and dying to be touched and pleasure by my husband but he never look at me!!
I wouldn't mind to have sex with my husband but begging him to is not an option!!
I'm only in this marriage because of my children otherwise, I would have long gone!!
I need advice please."

As expected, lots of advice were given to the woman and most of them will leave you shaking your head.

Read their advice below;

https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/no-sex-with-my-husband-for-almost-2years-can-i-have-an-affair-lady-asks-see-advice.html


Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

chyy5:
I Think Is Right To Walk Away This Time.

The woman I so much love has been taken me for granted.
There is a guy in Malaysia that takes her time all the time.
I have tried severally to stop her from contacting the guy but she still does.
I am not the kind of guy that beats up a lady otherwise I would have beaten her up very well.
The so called Malaysian guy doesn't provide any of her needs.
Infact from their heartbreaking chats I read, there was a time the guy told her she is free to date any other guy for money that she shouldn't depend on him for any benefit.
My gal told him that she's not in for money.
This is a gal I love with all my heart. I've been enduring this for long thinking she will change. I've had heart to heart talk severally with her telling her how pained I am. Yet every night she will be on whatsapp call with this guy for close to 3 hours after work.
Their whatsapp chat breaks my heart each time I intrude to read.
She keep telling the guy that she doesn't have anybody and even when the guy argued she told him he will confirm when he sex her.
It kept me weak yet I continued loving her.
Just last week my cousin that is to travel to the states told me to come over to her place. Meanwhile my gal has been having issues with accommodation. Where she stays isn't really OK and her rent will expire ending of this month. I taught it wise to rent the place for my gal. I took her to the place and we concluded with my cousin; she agreed to leave the place for her and even auctioned all her property for her which supposed to amount over 200k but my cousin decided to collect 150k because of me.
I collected her account details and told her I will transfer the money to her including the house rent so she can pay the landlord to avoid extra agent fee.
As we were going back, my gal was busy apologising to her Malaysian guy why she wasn't able to pick his calls because the guy has been calling when we were there.
She told the guy she went out with her house agent to search for an accommodation. I was mad.
I am now being referred to as house agent.
I forcefully collected her phone to call the guy. She almost died. She throw herself on the bed and was crying pleading I shouldn't call.
I left her house.
Meanwhile she's having issues raising deposits since she's a DSA. As God may have it I have some funds to help her out but due to her behaviour I've decided to move on
She's been calling and pleading but I know is all because of the house and deposits since she's not willing to let the guy go
I love her so much and it breaks my heart.
I have called her severally and pleaded with her how hurtful I feel seeing her chats with that guy yet she continued.
This is a guy that doesn't care about her needs but she kept glued to him.
I've endured much hence I am walking away. It pains, yes it pains but I have no choice.

chyy5:
I Think Is Right To Walk Away This Time.

The woman I so much love has been taken me for granted.
There is a guy in Malaysia that takes her time all the time.
I have tried severally to stop her from contacting the guy but she still does.
I am not the kind of guy that beats up a lady otherwise I would have beaten her up very well.
The so called Malaysian guy doesn't provide any of her needs.
Infact from their heartbreaking chats I read, there was a time the guy told her she is free to date any other guy for money that she shouldn't depend on him for any benefit.
My gal told him that she's not in for money.
This is a gal I love with all my heart. I've been enduring this for long thinking she will change. I've had heart to heart talk severally with her telling her how pained I am. Yet every night she will be on whatsapp call with this guy for close to 3 hours after work.
Their whatsapp chat breaks my heart each time I intrude to read.
She keep telling the guy that she doesn't have anybody and even when the guy argued she told him he will confirm when he sex her.
It kept me weak yet I continued loving her.
Just last week my cousin that is to travel to the states told me to come over to her place. Meanwhile my gal has been having issues with accommodation. Where she stays isn't really OK and her rent will expire ending of this month. I taught it wise to rent the place for my gal. I took her to the place and we concluded with my cousin; she agreed to leave the place for her and even auctioned all her property for her which supposed to amount over 200k but my cousin decided to collect 150k because of me.
I collected her account details and told her I will transfer the money to her including the house rent so she can pay the landlord to avoid extra agent fee.
As we were going back, my gal was busy apologising to her Malaysian guy why she wasn't able to pick his calls because the guy has been calling when we were there.
She told the guy she went out with her house agent to search for an accommodation. I was mad.
I am now being referred to as house agent.
I forcefully collected her phone to call the guy. She almost died. She throw herself on the bed and was crying pleading I shouldn't call.
I left her house.
Meanwhile she's having issues raising deposits since she's a DSA. As God may have it I have some funds to help her out but due to her behaviour I've decided to move on
She's been calling and pleading but I know is all because of the house and deposits since she's not willing to let the guy go
I love her so much and it breaks my heart.
I have called her severally and pleaded with her how hurtful I feel seeing her chats with that guy yet she continued.
This is a guy that doesn't care about her needs but she kept glued to him.
I've endured much hence I am walking away. It pains, yes it pains but I have no choice.

NwaAmaikpe:



That's what happens to a serial cheat.

She obviously had been fvcking around.
I'm sure she shagged her boss,
Shagged her customers,
Shagged her friends' husbands,
Shagged the neighbors,
Shagged her father-in-law,
Even shagged the pastors.

So when she saw that her husband had the effontery to bring a woman back home.

She realized that karma had come visiting.

Liliyann:
Its quite a pity that the society in which we live in sees women as a weaker vessel
Its high time we realize that we don't need these men in our life,rather they are the one that actually needs us!!
No woman should let a man belittle her,society shouldn't dictate for you.
Religion shouldn't make you look like a slave to a man
We are all equal!!

ikihealthplus:
Sorry for the long read,

I finished service Dec 2017 and got a job in the state I served, was excited and told dad, dad told me he doesn't like that one that he wants me to work in a firm (he has some contacts there)

Although I knew the Gen. manager Coz I worked with him in 2015 for a few months. Meanwhile dad got a job for my younger sister in that same firm. I told dad that I won't want to wait beyond February since he was certain I'll get the job, he assured me. January passed, met the CEO and he said he'll get back to me in a month's time, prior to meeting the CEO, I had already called the manager and told him that I'm almost done with service, he said I should come meet him in January, old dad, my dad said I shouldn't meet him that I should meet the CEO, so I obeyed. So when I met the CEO, he called the manager in my presence, I had this awkward feeling but I kept my cool, the manager told him I've worked with him before. So they said they'll get back to me. a month passed and I kept going to and fro to hear their feedback but nothing was forthcoming,

Met the GM, he told me March but no specific date and told me the salary I was to be paid, I was OK with it, towards the end of February I sent an email to the CEO that I haven't heard from him and got no reply, had to visit the firm. Met the GM and he said I should meet the CEO, while waiting to see the CEO, he told the security man to tell me to see the GM, he was told I've seen him and he told the security to tell me to go home, I got sad and told dad that I'm fed up that I need to go to where I'm needed not where they think they're doing me a favor, dad sent and called both GM and CEO an SMS and calls resp but got no reply.

Meanwhile I travelled to go and secure a job in the state I served, my sister now called me that the GM told her to tell me to come see her, I felt awkward Coz I chat with him on WhatsApp and visit him often so why wasn't I called directly? I came back, went straight to see the GM and he told me the CEO has changed his mind about my salary that about 33% was slashed from it, that I should start with it.

Meanwhile the other job I got was a better offer with good incentives, dad wants me to work in that firm but I told him I'm not accepting the job but he's insisting, pls I need your advice Coz I need a place where I can work with peace of mind.


Please, help me push it to FP

mccoy47:
Not surprised. She seems over 35 hence desperate for marriage

CastedAyo:
A lady has identified as Kechi Monye Iwu, cried out and asked for advice from Facebook users over a bizarre sex-related situation.

According to her, she is engaged and is set to be wedded next month, but her fiance has stopped picking up her phone calls because of her refusal to have sex with him.

Read what she shared below;
"Umunnem Biko help me with your honest advice : My introduction/traditional marriage date has been fixed 07/04/2018 and i haven’t had sex with my man so he has said i should visit him next week and i accepted, he then asked about my menses i told him it will be out that next week, he said i shouldn’t come then rather i should come earlier or after which i didn’t agree. He has stopped calling me neither does he pick my calls. Please your advise is needed. Thank you"

https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/stop-picking-calls-refused-sex-lady-set-wed-next-month-cries.html

jbaby265:
hello house please help a sister out.. my relationship of 6 to 7 years is about to crash..
I Love my man and he loves me too.. he stands by me in all times and I do the same for him too in fact our relationship is a typical example of grassroots relationship.. but recently I'm beginning to get frustrated at his attitude or should I say our attitude towards each other.. which is why I resorted to you guys.. this is a faceless forum so I feel comfortable to share my worries..

in recent years I found out that our quarrels, dispute, misunderstanding and bitterness has drastically increased and it bothers me alot.. he quarrel more often this days and can even stay up-to a month without communication.. he complains about everything I do and that's me angry.. AM NOT A SAINT HERE cos he complains of my non Challentless too.. but this our constant quarrels and misunderstanding is driving crazy.. I've cried and ask GOd to dissolve us if it's not his will for us to get married rather than us fighting all the time. HONESTLY AM CONFUSED PLEASE YOUR ADVICE IS NEEDED. I love him and he loves me but we fight a lot.. our wedding is Sept ( still don't believe is possible though)..

oneluv11:
Pls help a depressed soul

I have been having temporary sharp needle pain inside the left side of my throat and a dry throat every morning that does not go away for the pass 8months,I have visited 3 different hospital and I've done several test like sugar test ,RBT and my sugar level is ok, I even did 7 HIV test which d last one was carried out dis month and all were negative.The first hospital's doctor gave me antibiotic drugs for 5days after the test which I took but no sign of relief. I went back to him and he said I should repeat d drugs which i did bt still dsame,i went to another hospital and i was as well tested and said am okay nd gave me drug. still d feelings didnt go away i went back nd e said mayb is my anxiety and e priscibed another drugs bt d pain and dry throat keep disturbing me.

This has really affected my social life,feeling really depress dont knw what to do.pls help me if U heard of someone that went through similar problem or a doctor here

PS: Whenever I swallow something I do not feel the pains, its occasional and mostly in the morning

Mods, please take it to FP for wider view and suggestions

Joelsblog:
A Nigerian woman, Aisha Audu bittered about how things turned out in her marriage revealed why she to untie the knot with her Husband, Ahmadu Audu, according to her she was Neglected and force to adjust to the embarrassing condition her husband put her through.

A Sharia Court situated in Magajin gari of Kaduna State took up the case when the lady filed for a divorce, on Monday The court ordered Mr Ahmadu Audu to pay the sum of N10, 000 to his heartbroken wife as compensation for the months she was abandoned to Carter for the family.

Mr Audu's wife had to drag her husband to court when things were going out hands, a situation that forced her back to her father's house where she squatted for months.

“ Aisha said.

Aisha went on to reveal that she had been with her parents for seven months , yet nothing has changed .

Aisha saw no other option to stay in the Marriage and thereby asked the court to dissolve the marriage , if her husband cannot take care of her .

Audu, now giving a chance to defend himself, told the court that he still very much in love with his wife , and blamed his condition on the harsh economic situation in the country.


The judge, Dahiru Lawal ordered Audu to pay N 10 , 000 to the wife as restitution for the long period he took without caring for her and ordered the couple to settle the issues between them amicably, He warned the husband against neglecting his wife and to take care of her as provided by law.

What do you think? Is there any need for Aisha to stay in the Marriage?




News by Joelsblog:
https://joelsblog.com.ng/my-husband-cant-afford-a-3-square-meal-he-forces-me-to-eat-at-his-family-house-so-embarrassing-i-couldnt-take-it-any-more-i-had-to-divorce-him-nigerian-woman-who-is-divorcee-cries-out/



Lalasticlala
Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Ishilove
MissyB3
Fynestboi
Ashewoboy

lodgerill:
Nigerian twitter user, @klannypost has took to the platform to share his opinion about using rings for marriage proposal.

According to his own view, he prefer impregnating a lady, then move on to proposal stage rather than staying up and using rings for proposal.

He wrote;
"I don’t have time to propose to a woman, real man propose with pregnancy, not ring"



https://gistrealm.com/real-men-proposes-with-pregnancy-not-ring-nigerian-man/

Innobee99:
Pls i need a candid advise on how to deal with this situation at my work place.
I got this job August Last year after waiting for years after my NYSC. There is something going on here which is strictly against my believe and practice.
Some senior staff will come with receipts for me to sign. Receipts on goods and services that has not even taken place so that they can forward it to the headquarter for approval. How do i tell them its against my believe cuz i always feel that guilt after signing .
I need advise on how to go about it without offending anyone and without affecting my job.

CastedAyo:
A Nigerian lady shared the reason why she left her parents home. According to her, she constantly gets into fights with her because she's consistently reminding her how her mates are married, and she's still in their house.

She said she doesn't have a problem with her father because he didn't disturb her, but she is uncomfortable living in the house because of his mother, so she decided to rent her own apartment.

As seen of The Human of Abuja page;
"I moved out of my parent's house last month because I was always getting into fights with my mother. She was always reminding me day and night about how most of my mates are married and I was still in the house. Always comparing me with her friends' daughters that are married. It got to a point where the house because very uncomfortable for me. Day and night that's all she talked about.

My dad doesn't have any issues with my being unmarried. I am not the only unmarried 26 year old, but my mother always made it seem so. I decided to rent my own apartment in order to regain my peace of mind. My family house is here in Abuja and I rented a house here too. I think giving them some space is just the best decision."

https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/i-moved-out-of-my-parents-house-because-my-mum-always-remind-me-my-mates-are-married-lady.html

thesicilian:
If the man was the one involved in the accident, would the bride have waited?

LifeDrama:
As shared by Facebook user, Chinenye Blezoo

She wrote;


"My life page
I mate my fiancé (now ex) on July 2014, in Lagos when I visited my sister, the visit lasted for 2weeks.
Then on January 2015, we made some relationships definitions and agreed to take it to the next level. We vowed to always be our back bone, our watch words:
BE MY LOVE FOREVER!
FOREVER!
AND EVER!!!

Not long that I mate him, he had business issues with his colleague which leads to his arrest. He lost everything he had. After his detention in police station, I contributed for his release to my capability bcs it was my first month at work, I sent the money to his uncle the same way I was paid. Had it been I had more than that of my salary then, I will give because I doesn’t sleep knowing fully well that my love was in sell. He went back to his village after his bail and joined in village hustle but it didn’t favor him, he told me that he wants to go back to Lagos but no transport, that if he can gets to Lagos, he has a friend to squat with while he hustle for living. I gave him his transport and little cash to feed with for some days. I love him because he is a hustler. I vowed to be his bone when he is weak, even without a kobo, I believed for a better tomorrow for us.

When he gets to Lagos, he searched for work and during the period of his searching for work, I was sending him feeding money for every 2weeks from the little salary I got. It took him about 6months to get work of which he told me to stop sending money to him when he received his first salary. Sometimes that he visited home, he asked me to complete his transport for him that he will send it back to me when he gets to Lagos and at the end he will not.
Husband was coming for my hand in marriage but he refused letting me go, he begged me not to live him for another man. Even when I tested him that I was pregnant for the guy that was seeking for my hand in marriage, he asked that he will marry me with the pregnancy, which nobody will know he was not the one that got me pregnant unless I tell anyone. After everything, he visited my mum and begged her not to allow me marry another man, that he will come for me. My mum agreed bcs I made her believe that I loved my guy and can’t do anything to hurt him.
At first, he planned to pay dowry on January 2017, but according to him, they didn’t close work on December 2016 so he was not able to come home. On April 2017, he visited and we had our engagement, from there we kicked off our marriage preparations.

On September 2017, he sent 40k to me to start buying things for our marriage, with it I bought some drinks for wedding and some inlaws cloths. I supported him with 40k which I used to buy ashebi’s cloths and my cloths.
He called my uncle for dates and 5th January was fixed for traditional marriage, his plans were to monetize traditional marriage in a very low key and boomed wedding, so he also discuss some issues regarding to that with my uncle and they settled. He proceeded and called the vicar for wedding date to be fixed, thou the vicar frowned at fixing date with him on phone, requesting his presence before fixing the date. But he begged the vicar that I will come and represent him bcs he is so much engaged and at far Lagos while am at east and closer, I went and 6th January was fixed for our wedding. The vicar also told me the procedure I will go, the things I ll bring before bans of marriage and the rest of them.
I got cert in church, I went to Local Government and made notice entry which they told me to come back after 21days. I did as instructed and they issued me another cert to take back to church, I took it back to church with other church requirements, 3times marriage bans was announce in the church.

I asked my hubby for more money so I can starts buying food items, he kept forming too busy and kept telling me next week to next week meanwhile marriage bans had started going on in the church. I kept asking him for money to avoid things not get too cost in the market because of Christmas, most especially rice and groundnut oil. He told me not to worry that he ll take care of those ones and any other thing that I was not able to do when he gets home, whether they get more costly or not. I accepted with joy and zero my mind in them.

On late Nov., 2017, I started having these strange feelings within myself, I asked God to show me the meaning. I called my sister and told her the type of feelings am having, she advised me to be calling my God whenever the feelings come. I equally told her to asked my hubby some questions, if he is fully out for the marriage…thou I can’t place the feelings where it maybe coming from. I also asked his closest friend Chibuzor Diala to ask him the same question. After everything, they both told me to relax my mind and move on with my wedding preparations, that my hubby assured them that no cause for any alarm.

Wow…I got so many favour for my wedding and I was able to raised 90k from family friends and brother, my loved one ordered for my decoration free, and another lover of me dashed me a bag of rice, which I told my hubby about them all. My hubby lives in Lagos while am at east, our marriage was schedule to hold at east so I was at the centre of the marriage plans. I used the 90k I raised to support my hubby in paying for wedding cake, cooking, wedding accessories and part of video/pix coverage which I paid 80% of the monies involved.

My lovely mum(God will keep you for me), in order to support her daughter’s marriage, withdrawn all that she had, went to market and bought all the ingredients that will be involve in cooking soup for swallow and ofe akwu.
Bans of marriage was announced, he asked that I should designed IV and sent to him via waybill which I did, every notices both Local Govt, towns and villages involve, friends, colleagues in working places, fellow students, we shared our IV. He asked me to take wine and IV to parents of the day and chairman of the occasion which I did. He printed our wedding banner in Lagos.

MY BLACK 23RD DECEMBER 2017.
On 23rd Dec., 2017, about 5:10am, my hubby called me that he was in the motor going to park to enter bus to east. There was this joy I felt in my heart, that in some hours, I will be with my man. I quickly prayed with him on phone for journey mercies and also asked my mum and father in the Lord to prayed for him. He said that he will call me when he boards a bus. I waited for his call from 5am to 7am, I became worried that my hubby who left to park 5am supposed to have board ticket even the bus suppose to have moved by that 7am. I picked my phone and dialed his numbers, his MTN line was not reachable and his Airtel line was not available. The next thing I heard from network was switched off (deep breath). His lines became switched off from that moment; at first I thought it was a joke. Each minute I became more worried, in total confusion. At about 3:10pm his friend from Lagos called that he was calling my hubby but his lines were switched off. With tears, I told him that it has been the same thing with me since morning. He quickly asked me to calm down that he will arrive by evening. I waited looking at darkness falling without my man beside me. I didn’t control my tears any longer; I wished and asked God that this should be dream which I will later wakeup from. I prayed and cried throughout the night till day; I kept calling his lines each minutes and second but to no avail. Who will rescue me from this…? I quickly called my mum that I’m sinking inside an ocean, she prayed till day…In the morning, I went out to Awka street, with tears I was looking for my hubby, crying bitterly and asking people if any1 saw Henry Uzoma…I became mad without help. His lines were switched off. I sat down on the street and called Chibuzor his friend, I asked him if someone accompanied him to park? The company bus he entered? And if also there was light at the night maybe he did not charged his phones. I also sent his friend Daniel to his compound with the same question. They told me there was light throughout the night till the time he left in the morning. That he did not mention any particular company he was going, that he only said that he will board bus half-way to Benin and from Benin to Onitsha. Nobody accompanied him to park.

On 25th Dec 2017, with help of someone I went to my village. The only thing I wished and prayed for was to die. At a point, I don’t kn what to think again, my brain was full with so many thoughts: Could it be accident? If it were accident someone could have called for identification. I keep on searching facebook for any latest accident. Could it be one chance? If it were to be one chance they could have taking everything he had and pushed him away, he has my number off head, and he could have called me by now. If it were the type of one chance that demands for ransom, they would have call to mention their amount. What could it be? My mind took me to rituals… yes!!! Rituals, they had carried my man and slaughter. Tears filled my eyes. What did I do wrong God why?? Why did You allow this to happen to me?? I was bitterly crying and killing myself…I wished to die… people trooping in to console me, my phone kept ringing every second, his friends in Lagos, brothers and relatives calling to kn if I heard any news from their brother. They all believed that I should be the first he will call if he is been release.

On 28th Dec 2017, I went to his house in the village and his people became more worried seeing me. I went to his mum and dad’s grave and cried bitterly. I begged the spirit of his mum to please bring his son back home (if only spirit sees and hears). His uncle assured me that all will be well.
But there was one particular thing I kept observing, on 26th Dec, 2017; I noticed that my guy’s facebook messenger was showing active 20minutes, could this be true? I asked myself. Even the messages I sent on 23rd was delivered and equally read. I quickly checked his whatsapp, the message I sent was delivered but never read. It made me to send another message which was delivered and read in less than 2days. I became convinced that he was alive but at the same time doubting. Someone from his compound told me that he packed his bags to a girls house instead of coming to east, I said no that he cannot do that. A friend of mine who helped in prayer also told me the same thing as his revelation after the prayers, but I still doubted.

5th January 2018, my traditional marriage day. My clothes and that of my bridal train were down. My wedding cake, decoration materials, trad marriage accessories, my wedding gown and every other thing involved. I picked my phone and laid courses on him via whatsapp, that if he purposely did this to me, it will never be well with him… Lo and behold, Henry Uzoma seeing the courses I laid on him broke his silence and sent a voice message to me via whatsapp. Jesus it was his voice!!! What was he saying…Trash!!! No point, he was beating about the bush… I left my house to a far place the whole day.
Naza nwanne m you are a true sister. Amaka my friend u really helped. Chikwendu thanks a million. Eby Umejike thanks a lot. Okey you are a darling. My dear sis Onyi you are the engine of laughter, you alwaz make sure I laugh even being difficult. Dear brother Kingsley, I love you a million times. My able manager Joe and wife I can’t thank you enough. My present oga and wife thanks for your encouragement. Chisom and Dindu I appreciate your love. My 2 big mummies Lady Eby and Mrs Ify I appreciate every bit of your time spent with me, trying so much to see I overcome. Sir Mmaduabuchi, I thank you so much, you really wished to change my heart of bitterness to happiness with your 2hands, thanks for everything. My big Daddy Ven. thanks for being there for me, your calls, words of encouragement and prayers always keep my life ahead. I thanked you all that consoled me. I love you all so much.
I equally thanked those that gossiped, those that are still gossiping and those that will kick off their gossips from now, you shall carry on. Am not praying that this should happen to anybody, but in your gossips, remember that you may be a victim of this type of circumstance.

On 8th Jan. 2018, I saw a post from his wall saying and I quote; “Some people want me dead on 23rd December 2017, but thank God for saving my life, I will tell the story when I am fit” My man who posted on facebook about the people that want him dead did not call me, when I called, he didn’t pick even when he picked, he didn’t talk.

On 10th Jan 2018, I browse my facebook and saw a friend request with the name “Hmighty Uzoma”. I checked the profile but it was a brand new account. But because the account was bearing my guy’s name, I quickly accepted the friend request. In less than 20 minutes, I saw pictures of my man holding a girl very closely, and they were also in uniform. I quickly remembered the cloth, my hubby after sowing the cloth, snapped with it and sent to me to praise the style which I did, so the same cloth was a uniform sowed with this girl.
I quickly saved the pictures uploaded it to his whatsapp and I confronted him…boldly told me to move on with my life, that God will not allow me to die just like that...

I felt down, I was very bittered and my heart was cutting very fast that I found it difficult to breathe… God showed me mercy through my madam, thou I developed heart problem but am healed now. I had picked the pieces of my heart and as I drop this pen, am moving on. Thank God for everything. It is well with my soul. Like a bird flying in the sky, am now free from every pains. I ll join the month of Match to match forward.

My fellow ladies, I believe my story will serve as an eye opener to you. When men are coming your way, be very watchful and careful, on 31st of Dec 2017, I was busy crying while he was in the arms of another woman romancing her. I found out that some of my evidence was upload on 31st of DEC by the girl. Create meanings in every step he make and be observant, I saw it coming, I felt it but I didn’t grab the meanings. Most of these men you see everyday leave fake lives, Most especially when they are a little far from you. I also advice you love with your head not your heart because your heart will get chattered over and over again.
Thank you."

https://www.facebook.com/blezee4real/posts/1609904455731546

Source: http://mandynews.com/2018/03/02/lady-reveals-how-her-fiance-fixed-wedding/

kabrud:
Yes, the court should free you before those people from the forgotten land of yisreal and erosion headquarters of Nigeria start shouting marginalisation.

femidejulius:
I think that first of all your aunt has decided and nothing we say here will change her mind.

Her husband or should I say ex husband has taken her for granted for so much.

I'd say she ought to be happy after all she's been through. Happiness is the only important thing in life. If she has found happiness where she is, so be it.

She shouldn't try satisfy the society at the detriment of her happiness.

Let her ex-hubby try another woman to see what he lost.A man like him don't deserve a submissive woman. The kids will be alright. What if their mum die,won't they continue their lives?

sexylemo:
Good evening Nairalanders
This is my favourite section and I have read really reasonable comments from mature people and I believe I can get good advice here.

This will be a long read. I need to explain so y’all can have enough grounds to advice my aunt, cuz she’s the subject of this whole story..

My aunt married at 31, 11 years ago, to a man she barely knew because she felt she was getting old. They dated for less than 3 months and got married. The children didn’t start coming until after 3 years (not willingly). She’s a very religious, hardworking and faithful woman who doesn’t lie.
Now, the guy in question is a really tough and unfriendly dude. According to her, they don’t really have a relationship as friends or even husband and wife. They lived more like Slave and Slave driver. As a graduate without a job for a really long time after multiple trials, she took up a business that wasn’t paying much, but she had to keep the house running somehow. According to her, the man gave for the upkeep of the house very sparingly. He was however doing well in his job, acquired a Masters, got several trainings and was rising very fast at his workplace. Through all this, she remained submissive, doing all her duties as a wife.
He got a car and started building their house. All the while, my aunt wasn’t enjoying the marriage or the man. No week went by without them having fights. Even the husband’s siblings that came to spend time saw right through their marriage. They admitted that their brother was very cruel to my aunt.
After they moved to their own house (very comfortable house), their fights escalated. It degenerated to beating and violence from the dude. He loved his 3 girls and catered for them, but kept telling them that he hated their mother.
Because she was always lacking funds to run the house and he wasn’t yielding to her request to upgrade the money for household upkeep, she started keeping friends with her exes in a bid to get financial support. According to her, one of them got really close to her and their friendship deepened, and I think they fell in love
I think she ran out of patience one day, after multiple physical assaults, she moved her stuff out of the house to a place rented by her new lover, leaving her children behind.
Prior to this, they had had fights so serious that the families had to meet and settle the matter, with the husband promising to turn a new leaf. But everything returned to its former state after the settlement.
Now, the husband has been running helter and skelter, begging everybody, pleading that his wife comes back, promising heaven and earth, that he’s going to change, give her anything she wants, etc etc. But my aunt will have none of it. She is now going steady with this man (he’s also a divorcee with 2 or 3 kids, not sure) and has vowed never to return to that house, saying she has fallen out of love with her now ex-husband, and can never submit to him as a wife again.
She’s trying desperately to get pregnant for the new man to seal their affair. Worst part is, her parents have met the new man and have accepted him, but can’t tell the former husband so he doesn’t feel he’s not been pitied or considered.
Everyone the guy has called to beg (except her parents of course) is pitying the guy and is trying to beg my aunt to give him a second chance, but her mind is made up.
Please what should we do as relatives? Should the guy move on? If he does, my aunt would have 2 men as the fathers of her kids and it would definitely have s negative impact on them (rivalry). Should she accept the pleas to give him another chance and forfeit this new guy (who’s also a divorcee though I don’t know the details)? Should we leave the matter to go in whichever direction?
Please, your mature advice is needed. Thanks for reading

sadsad:
I hope this is the right section for this.
If not, MODs can help place it in the right section.


Mature advice needed!!!!
Married for 10 years now, have an adopted daughter due to fertility issues.
Everything was going on well until I needed to get a maid to assist with house chores temporarily due to my change of work schedules which warranted longer tedious hours outside the home. Moreover I needed someone to help look after my child when she returns from nursery class when I'm not around during the day.

In March 2016, I got a maid but my husband called me aside one day & said he observed how I shield the maid from getting close to him in the house & that he as the man of the house is not 'free' in his own house. He went further to say, my actions prove I'm suspecting he will want to have something to do with the maid.

For the 1st time in my marriage of 8 years then, my husband & I had a very heated argument that he threatened me by saying if I decide to send her away, I must also leave.
I replied him that if I should leave, I will go with at least half of what I brought into this marriage, not all o! So that people won't say I'm a bad person, so I'll go with at least half.
I had met him earning 6k monthly in 2002 & I introduced my business idea to him which we now run jointly as a family business. By the Grace of God, we earn comfortably that he has now become the bread winner in his own family. His Siblings look up to him constantly for financial help.
My inheritances gotten on two occasions from my late grandparents & parents, were used to buy & build our first property in the outskirts of Lagos. I went further to sell my first car to Roof the building because I realised he is not a futuristic person & he is not financially empowered enough to get a property so I felt since we are husband & wife, why not I assist financially to ensure his head is lifted up continually. Between last year December & today, I gave him another 7 figures to purchase a building in his hometown so that we can have a place to retire to. Then the first building in Lagos will be put up for rent.

When he realised I was serious with my counter-threat on the maid issue, he relaxed & travelled the next day to see his Mom.
While in his hometown, he called me & said his Mom's Pastor gave his Mom a revelation that I (her Son's wife) should stop all medical interventions for now & wait for God's time to give us one biological child.

I foolishly (well, submissively) accepted. Only for him to come back from the trip & cajoled me to accept him to have s.x with the maid so that she can give us a biological child.
Readers, my life started falling into pieces from that day.

After some weeks, he begged me to go lodge in a hotel to spend the night there so that he can have his way with the maid in our home. Ha!!!! I refused but he blackmailed me by saying, I do know he has been treated & certified medically OK so I am the one with the issue that has caused delays for years. Also, the revelation that I should stop all medical interventions ( we've done sooooo many medical interventions in these years of waiting, all to no avail).

I accepted to go to the hotel, which he paid for. This happened on 3 different occasions within the space of 1 month plus.
A day to the day I'll go to the hotel to stay, I'll be sooo moody & irritated that he will say (why am I blocking his chances of having his biological child after I've wasted many years of his life childless. Our adopted child is from is his late relative, so he still needs his own direct blood.

I would go for business meetings & sometimes take bike (okada) to journey Long distances so as to meet up to close deals, only for me to come back into the house to meet him & the maid alone in the house while my daughter will be playing with her mates in the neighbor's apartment.
He would return home before noon & they'll spend the day together. I forgot something at home one day & decided to go back to pick it up, by the time I left the house & them inside, I was devastated that day, I was depressed, I became almost insane & emotionally imbalanced. I didn't know I was talking to myself on my way out on the road, a neighbour tapped my shoulder from behind & I was jolted back to realise I was on the road trekking a wrong direction to my office.

After about 5 months, I started chatting daily with someone I met via social media, we started out as having same investment orientation, from there we became close on phone via WhatsApp, we would discuss family issues, marital issues, financial issues & all sorts. I realised he was someone I could talk to easily & pour out my heart to. I was also his phone companion. We didn't meet physically until 4 months after. We met & had s.x in 2017 after so much togetherness on phone.

I felt guilty because I never had s.x with any other man aside my husband for over 9 years +. My husband had been suspecting me & confronted me with proofs of my infidelity. He reported me to my Aunt. I told my Aunt (in his presence) what I went thru in his hands during the maid issues, she blamed both of us & kinda settled the issues.

The maid got pregnant & it had a complication because according to the doctor, she took some substances to abort the pregnancy. I had mixed feelings when she lost the pregnancy. Sad, that I had lost the opportunity to finally make my husband a father. She left after the evacuation & never returned.
My husband became sober & scared all thru the pregnancy complication issues because he was worried she could die & the law will be after him. I had to help him make sure she was well taken care of in a good clinic & prayed & fasted for everything to end well.

I got another maid because my clients were giving me more contracts to work on & this time, this new maid herself decided to leave on the grounds that my husband threatened to kill her if she doesn't have s x with him. She had to call the agent that brought her to come take her away, next day. My husband denied all allegations even till today.

I decided, no more maids.

Just two days ago, I refused him s.x because he accused me of still cheating. He says anytime he sees me 'holding my phone', he will have a recall of my infidelity episode & he'll get terribly infuriated. He will say I have gone to do it with someone else so I don't want him. He has beaten me on several occasions & I have told him that I have severed the relationship & communication between I and the guy. I have also proven this to him but he wouldn't understand. I get his point but his insecurity feelings is toooo much. He would threaten me & beat me. In 2017, I had to write to Ministry of Women Affairs in Alausa but I told them not to take action yet because he later apologized. I gave him a copy of the letter I wrote to Alausa. The ministry called to check up on me & u assured them all us well now. Ever since I dropped the letter, he never beats me again but he would threaten me emotionally & psychologically.

When he realised I was going to leave the marriage, he begged & begged me. Saying I should know that he can never carry out his threat, that we've been together since 2001 as friends before marriage so I should be able to tell what he's capable of.

He also indirectly said if I leave, the business will crumble but at that point, I didn't care anymore about the family business that gives us 7 figures + monthly. He knows that the business is my idea. I learnt it for 7 years before we started. Till date, I bring in the biggest chunk of the income because he handles some clients while I handle some. My clients are the biggest. I believe this is his greatest fear.

Yesterday night, he made me listen to Lionel Richie (I'll rather spend bad times with you, than spend good times with someone else).

If I leave this marriage, I don't see myself getting married again. Highest, I do surrogacy or adoption to have a child. I loved this man with my whole existence before the cookie started to crumble. I won't allow any man make me his ATM.

Right now, I'm in a mess & I need words from matured married Nairalanders.

Thank you in advance

Robbin7:
Please NL my dad just disowned my elder brother because he came back home after 6:30pm on the day of his matric. This is the 5th of my siblings that my dad is sending away. I'm confused, I hate to think this trend may continue please friends advise me on what to do.
Legal and candid advices please.

humanbeing4th:
Pls Matured Nairalanders Is Dis Spiritual Or Just Me?? Abeg Help Me

am a guy of around 23 years, I have the look, I get d stature, I got d voice, I get the sweet talking, I use d confidence but still av never had a girlfriend in my life, girls do compliment me a lot but still av never successfully woo any girl in my life, they av all turn me down , pls dis is a serious issue, wat can I do

ItzChinnex:
So I stopped replying her messages on WhatsApp because she was too over demanding.

I once met this Girl in the room of my guy when she came to charge her only God knows what, then I fell partially in love with her. I collected her number and I started courting her on WhatsApp which she consented.

In the space of 1weeks, she demanded for airtime which I innocently sent her an amount of N1500. I believed we where flowing not until she asked again in a space of 5days, not that I hadn't the cash to send but I was just trying to use my common sense by telling her I will send but not immediately.

It was during this time I had a rethought about this and stop replying her messages on WhatsApp. We didn't communicate for about 2 months not until yesterday, she called me and said that she was angry with me for not contacting her for a long time. She said I should come to her hostel to see her.

I decided going to the hostel because I had in mind that after I see her, I will go to my guy's lodge around that area.

Before i reached her hostel, i branched to a bank around my area but the crowd was enormous, I had to see her like that because I can't wait.
When I reached her hostel, i entered, she was on bum-short. She was like, where is my Valentine gift, I told her when I would be going home, we will branch to the bank, that I had no cash right there with me.
Her mood suddenly became gloomy but she didn't wanted making it oblivious.
She asked if I would eat, I said no, she started using indirect means to make sure i lavish on her. Our conversion was like

She: My phone is really bad
Me: oh, really?
She: yea.. It's a techno phone
Me: oh, nice phone.
She: but I can't use it because it's bad, I need a new phone
Me: No response*
She: you can get it for me as a Val gift.
Me: lol.. Yeah sure.
She: please let go to the bank now, Diamond bank is very close
Me: The line is to much, I can't stand under the sun
She: You will wait here, I will go for you
Me: C'mon I can't give you my Atm
She: OK, you have Mobile App right? Please transfer some money for me so I will buy the phone
Me: I don't have a Mobile App
She: OK.. What about your sim? I can transfer with your sim, hope you registered your acct with this sim?
Me: no, I didn't

I waiting for like 5min, and all she was talking was Money Money Money. I felt some uncomfortable And I told her to be ready That on Saturday, I will send her the money and even take her out. I Collected her account details and boom, off I go.
I think, today would be the very last day I would chat or even communicate her again.

bidv:
Nairalander I bring greetings from the other side,

I have this lady I'm currently in relationship with for 2 years now, early last year I proposed to her and she said "YES" following that I introduced her to my family and the both families got to know each other, December we Did a mini introduction (Knocking at the door), my plans is for us to get married this April. My overall budget is 2M for everything (I don't want to spend too much for wedding). Now the problem is, my fiancée is asking for 500K to buy her personal needs for the wedding that's excluding her family lists. She said without the 500K she's not interested in the wedding. I believe she's asking because she knows I have it. I really love her and I don't want to loose her, should I give her or I should let go? Please I need a good advice of what to do.

Reportmusic:
https://www.reportnaija.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/ep16-891x470.jpg
A Lagos based nurse and mother of four, explains how she found her death certificate in the vehicle of her husband and father of her children.

She shared this experience with a Nigerian OAP Toke Makinwa who posted it on her Twitter account.
The message reads:
“I am in very sad mood, I feel used and rejected, I feel so terrible, I am married with four kids and I always felt I am married to the best man in the world.

I am registered Nurse in a Government hospital here I Lagos, while he is a dentist.

Our plan has always been that when our first child finishes primary school, we will relocate to the US.

About a year ago, my husband started dating a lady in her late 30s. I saw her messages and challenged him after which he appologised and I forgave him.

However, to my surprise, he came home late on Friday night and slept very early on Saturday. I drove his car out to refill the gas. I saw an envelope in his car.

Inside this envelope, was his passport with US visa on it and the lady’s own with US visa. I saw the form he used to fill his visa application.

In the form, he said his wife was late and my death certificate was attached and his wedding certificate with the lady was also attached.

In the form, he wrote out all our children’s name but he claimed their mother was late. I made a photocopy of all the documents and returned the documents.

I nearly ran mad. He observed that I have been so cold lately and he has been asking what the matter is.

What should I do? How should I accept this level of wickedness and traitor attitude?

Please Mummies, advise me before I do something drastic”
https://www.reportnaija.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/5BUNSET5D-10-9-768x925.jpg
source
https://www.reportnaija.ng/2018/02/19/wife-finds-death-certificate-husbands-car/

cc lalasticlala

ChildOfDoom:
i gambled away my January salary despite knowing there's little or no foodstuff at home


On countless occasions i've put my mum on tension. I remember one time she travelled to visit my sister in ibadan, just after arriving her destination, she had to rushed down the same day despite the distance when she heard i swindled someone. She sold some thingd to save me from trouble


Hmm... I really wish i could change

OrientDailyNews:
https://orientdailynews.com.ng/news/give-wife-money-man-tells/

https://orientdailynews.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Court.jpg

braine:
Way to go.

I am really Looking forward to advice from Nairalanders on this.

wunmi590:
Sister, the truth of the matter is, you had a very wonderful wedding, no better wedding is better than the one you had, that has even produced 3 beautiful kids.

Wearing wedding gown to show of these days is a scam, alot of broken home.

Just enjoy your marriage sis.