₦airaland Forum

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=311093.msg4371419#msg4371419 date=1250577404]@ Seun

i know that rape a despicable and a hideous crime. it's a deep violation of anyone however, being the doctor here, i am not going to compromise my personal/ethical beliefs just to do her will. inasmuch as i sympathize with her and her pains, i will still firmly stand on my ground on not doing so. and i don't think refusing to do so equates to being mean/wicked or heartless just means that it simply goes against my practice.[/quote]thanks you spoke for me

Seun:
Some people are so heartless. 
If your daughter was raped, would you support her giving birth to the rapist's baby? 
How is she going to love the child knowing where he came from? 
Why should she have to suffer the stigma of single parenthood for the sake of a rapist's baby? 

Her well-being is more important than selfish ethics. 
Forget yourself for a moment and think about what's best for your patient.

Or are you going to take care of the baby for her if she decides not to abort?  Will you adopt?

seun why not think of the right of the doctor to keep his views?

ichommy:
http://www.tribune.com.ng/17082009/lagoslife.html

It was quarter to seven on a Monday morning. And as usual, commuters and motorisrs on the road from Egbeda- Akowonjo road to Dopemu roundabout were held to ransom by heavy traffic. The Monday morning traffic had built up and commuters had resigned to fate – spending a minimum of two hours from Egbeda to Ikeja which normally should not take more than 30 minutes.


The tedium of sitting in a place for a long period of time without the privilege of changing position was already getting to commuters on the road and was beginning to make many frustrated when their attention was attracted by sounds of singing and clapping from different parts of the road.


The attention of so many shifted from the bumper of the vehicle in front of them to the direction from which the noise was coming while some that were asleep woke up to watch the spectacle.


What caught their attention? Security men posted to the various new generation banks scattered along the road were holding fellowship sessions at the gates of their different banks.


This was a surprise to some but to people who ply the road on a regular basis, it is a regular feature. Daily, these security men in their diverse uniforms are seen early in the morning, even before many bankers resume, holding prayer sessions for a smooth day at work.


Nigerian Tribune investigations revealed that these men are sent to the different banks from diverse security outfits scattered across the city. Some wear grey shirt on black trousers with red stripes while some are in white shirt on black trousers.


Why do they hold this session is a question many asked. Many people are of the opinion that they do this to seek God’s protection against the threat of armed robbers, among other things.


According to statistics, bank robbery has been a major source of concern in most Nigerian cities for more than a decade. It has gone from the reported 15 Lagos banks that were robbed in 2000 to a national problem, especially in cities like Lagos and Ibadan.


Banks have been on the receiving end of robbers’ attacks for a long time, especially during the festive periods and towards the end of the year.


Around Egbeda/Akowonjo, the situation is always tense due to the many banks that are spread along that particular stretch of road. Virtually all banks have a branch in this area.


The area has been plagued by a spate of bank robberies and the trend shows no sign of abating. The robbers are often smartly dressed young men, who are always heavily armed and ready to take on anybody. They raid banks during business hours and hold everyone up at gunpoint as they empty bank vaults.


This spate of attack has been adduced by many as the reason the security operatives, who are usually the first to face the robbers when they arrive, hold the prayer sessions.


The robbers have defied all attempts to curb their effrontery. The police had ordered that security men be posted to all banks; banks were required to install security gadgets and provide doors and gates with controlled access in addition to being ordered to ban the use of cell-phones within their premises and to make sure all their bullion vans are bullet-proof.


Since these efforts failed to stop the menace, individuals have taken their protection and destinies into their own hands and this may be responsible for the divine approach by the security personnel.


Ahmodu Oyewale, a trader beside one of the banks told the Nigerian Tribune that, “What do you expect them to do? Wait for robbers to kill or maim them? Many things have been done to stop robbers in this area but nothing seems to work. Look at the number of banks we have here, also count the eateries, they attract robbers and even small traders like me are afraid. I also pray before I start trading because that seems to be the only protection.”


A banker, who spoke to the Nigerian Tribune, also shared the same view. “Over reliance on hard cash for transactions has made the bank a must visit for many and it is the reason for the spate of robberies we have. Also, many people do not keep money at home again, so robbers prefer businesses and banks where they are assured of fast cash at all costs. This is why they continue to raid banks and nothing has stopped them so far. For me, I never have a moment rest until I am out of the banking hall and every customer who behaves oddly is a suspect to me. I only depend on God, so I do not blame the security men at all,” Taiwo Ojomo said.


Robbery attack has become one of the many hazards of bank security operatives and when all else have failed, they have decided to put their trust in God.

http://www.tribune.com.ng/17082009/lagoslife.html

stealing is thier human right abi?

[quote author=Tudór link=topic=288604.msg4097971#msg4097971 date=1246093043]Hope those bastards get a fair trail. . .[/quote]what the kind sir say is a fair trial for robbers?

vizzy09:

@GEW u are right. she told her mom about the messages but that does not still mean i have to apologise to the mom. the mom is a very nice woman bt i know she will not support the idea of me apologising to her. i just have this feeling and i still will not. i have made up my ming to giv her a break.

you are only 29. you are insecure, you beat a woman, you are arrogant and you are learning to disrespect her mum too?  what else do you do?

if you go ask your single uncles buying cow leg themselves at age 50+ this was the kind of arrogance the=at lost them the wives of thier youth. if there is anything a young man must never have it is PRIDE because it ALWAYS leads to a big fall.

apologising to the woman will not take anything from you but like all unnecesarilly stuborn people you will rather learn the hard way and probably go date some witch daughter or loveless fool that will ruin you easily.

you obviously dont deserve her seeing you dont know how to respect a woman so enjoy yourself until you get a husband abuser that you rightly deserve and o dont forget you beat someone daughter when yours get beaten becos you have sown a seed that must produce its kind.

vizzy09:
I really didn't want to comment on your thread but for the afore-quoted.
If i get you right, it was the mother that you ran to for solace/help after you beat her up once, right? so why the new found ego?.
why not turn it around by soliciting her mother's help in talking to her? (after you have duly confessed your anomalies)
Infact,
Dude, if you really know what you are doing then you shouldn't be told what to do.

@ifeleke, when we had that fight in school i never called the mother and it still baffles me how she knew about it. i still recolect what she told me then that no matter what happens we shud not allow outsiders know we are quarelling. when i say outsiders, i mean fellow students in our hostel because we were staying off campus then

[list]
[li]the woman spoke right like all good mothers should do but obviously you dont deserve a good family like them so move on bro and enjoy.
[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]
[quote author=,amebo no1 link=topic=310478.msg4367060#msg4367060 date=1250517357]sure why not, when next the guy tells her shut up, she will run to her mum, and then demand for an apology from him abi?

Let me tell you one thingy you don't know, when a girl is inlove, she hides from her mum every bad thingies the guy does, but wastes no time in telling the mum all the good things the guy has done

In this case she'd rather tell the bad than the good, my mother has her life, i have mine, shes a good mother, but that does not mean she has the right to know what happens around my life all the time. If the girl can't keep and fight a difficult situation now that they are courting, is it when he marries her into the house she will learn?

i still love you very much so i will not write here what i think of this post.  i quite agree a girl in love dont tell all but a girl in love had to tell her mum some likkle boy as the english call them was calling her and now she discover it was brother insecure and you are saying a girl in love shouldnt put the mum out of her miseries.

you do know i know you are cleverer than this.  brother wonderful was out of order and need to swallow his pride.  anyway you know i wont take this against you.[/quote]

mahal:
Every Nigerian is a potential Criminal.

really?

this is nigeria. the idiot tot he can always get away with stealing and the killers knew they will get away with it too.

are we missing anyone on NL?

CUSTOMS AND NIGERIAN ‘BIG MEN’

IN a tone that smacks of despondency, the Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) recently confessed that its primary assignment has become daunting. The service lamented that the job of curbing smuggling of goods into the country is made difficult by the involvement of notable Nigerians in this unwholesome act of economic sabotage. Mr. Julius Nwagwu, the Comptroller of Customs (Exports) NCS Headquarters, disclosed this much at the public hearing of the Joint Senate Committee on Industry and Agriculture on the Collapse of the Nigerian Textile Industries.

HE was emphatic that top government officials, wealthy Nigerians and their families have made the job of preventing smuggling of goods into the country very difficult. He insinuated that indiscriminate smuggling of textile items into Nigeria might have contributed significantly to the virtual demise of the textile industry in the country. According to the customs officer, these Nigerians travel abroad quite frequently to smuggle goods into the country and that officers of the service are usually under undue pressure from official quarters to accord these privileged smugglers a free passage.

MR. Nwagwu’s disclosure was not a revelation of any sort. He had simply informed Nigerians what many of them had known already but it is good that the confirmation came from an officer of the Customs Service. It would appear that the same privileged citizens, public officers and their relations, who often dodge payment of taxes on their private businesses are the ones who also engage in smuggling of goods.

HOWEVER, the courage of the customs officer, who linked prominent Nigerians, government officials and their relations to smuggling, would appear to have fallen short. He should have avoided playing to the gallery by going a step further to identify these Nigerians because that indeed would have been the new revelation. Taking his cue from the Senate’s recent revelation of some personalities who are debtors of some failed banks in the country, Nwagwu should name the culprits. It is by so doing that the country can be thinking of breaking free from the corrupt officials and citizens, who are strangulating the economy. Even if Nwagwu is afraid to name names, the Senate should compel the NCS to do so officially, after all, the officer came to represent and brief the Senate Committee on its behalf.

IT follows from the accounts of the NCS at the public hearing that some Nigerians of power and means smuggle goods into the country with impunity only for the NCS officials to harass the buyers and impound the smuggled goods from retailers or end users. The privileged culprits are left alone while the ordinary citizens, who transact legitimate business within the borders of the country, are constantly harassed and molested.

THE NCS should live up to its responsibility of policing the borders. It should focus more on preventing illegal entry of goods from foreign countries to the country at the borders instead of running after small time buyers of the supposed smuggled goods in the country. The service should also realise that it cannot continue endlessly to blame its lackluster performance of its statutory duties on some unnamed elite in the corridors of power who are allegedly frustrating its efforts. It is about time it stood up to be counted.

PERHAPS the first step in this direction is to embark on self cleansing among its officers and men. The general perception of the public is that the service is a haven for highly corrupt civil servants and the flamboyant lifestyle of some of the personnel of NCS in and out of office tends to lend credence to this perception. Thus, if corruption can be reduced significantly in the service, its officials will be on a high moral ground to resist the attempts of the privileged class to continue the sabotage of the economy.

THE behaviour of officials and big men who are reportedly involved in or are giving tacit support to smuggling is condemnable. Such unpatriotic disposition is undermining and destroying the nation’s economy. Unfortunately, the effects of this sabotage will be more pronounced on the economy at this time of global economic meltdown and its attendant negative impacts on the country’s receipts from oil. Any government that hopes to deliver on its budget today will necessarily rely more on taxes and levies than before to finance the budget. And custom duties and tariffs, which income is allegedly being reduced by smuggling activities, is one way the Federal Government can raise substantial funds.

THEREFORE, the Federal Ministry of Finance, which is the supervising ministry of the NCS and the joint Senate Committee on Industry and Agriculture on the Collapse of Textile Industry in Nigeria, should not take the submission of the NCS at the public hearing lying down. The two institutions should carry out a thorough investigation on the allegation of complicity levelled against government officials on smuggling. The purpose of such an inquiry is not only to ascertain the veracity of Mr. Nwagwu’s claim, but also to know those who are behind the economic sabotage and bring them to book.

THE Customs officer who appeared before the joint Senate Committee may not have done enough because he did not give the names of the alleged smugglers and their backers in government. But he has no doubt given sufficient clue and direction as to where a serious and responsible government should focus its attention while tackling the menace of smuggling.

what a country we have.  so it takes a celebrity being kidnapped for you guys to say something. i remember posting something here when  a guy was kidnaped and subsequently killed right outside a chuch becos he was no celebrity there was no shouting.

hope the last person to leave that bloody land remember to ask for Gods mercy on the people whoever walked that blessed land that wicked people walked on.

where is lagosboy? hope he no dey for boko haram?

[quote author=,amebo no1 link=topic=310478.msg4363573#msg4363573 date=1250466830]good, do not apologise to the mum, you need to sit her up and make her realise that you are the man here

Does she really run to the mum anytime there is a little misunderstanding? na wa oooooo

If she continues like this, then her mum will always be a thrid party even after you lot are married

Mark my words[/quote]this na lie. this boy no be man here. he is an insecured small boy. dont forget the girl is still at home with the mum and being a smart good mum she will know the daughter like a good mum does. she could not have been getting those obscene calls without telling the mum and it was only good she told the mum she has discovered it was master insecure behind it.

she has done no wrong telling her mum it is only nice and wise for the boy to go and say sorry mummy.

na so una be for ajegunle?

wbb

Fhemmmy:
Do u actually know the meaning of building a home?
It means making sure that all within that home is comfort, happiness and security, when a woman is a friend to her husband and she is not comfortable with that, then it is no more a home but a house.
Thesame bible said "men shd love their wife as Christ love the church and gave his life for it", so u mean to tell me that u cant love her enuf to make sure she is happy and u can let go of a friend?
Infact, a good friend will know when to back off, if his/her friendship with u is tormenting his home.

you are talking according to your understanding of building a home. you cannot create enemity around your house/ home and pretend you will know peace within the walls so stop misusing the bible to justify your point. the same bible you quoted has within it

[b]he that desires a friend must make himself friendly[/b] and

we should live peaceably with all men.

Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loves at all times,"

in case you miss my point, i repeat here again you dont go about creating enemies because an irrational partner said so.

i dont keep fair weather friends.
go back to my earlier post you will find i am a big fan of making a lady comfortable in her home. i have stated here before i pulled back from a friend whose extra marital affairs was making my Mrs uncomfortable. i am blessed with a very good woman. she knows i will do almost anything for her so she is careful what she ask.

you should be able as a human being to draw the line somewhere. you dont drop friends who have not done anything to deserve being dropped because the wife said so. it is wrong becos you will not have addressed the fears, wrong judgement and insecurity of the lady in question. you need friends more than you know.

i talk from experience becos i have had close friends cut me off. one for 6yrs becos he bought into his wife advise " we dont need unmarried friends around ". that was someone i helped into UK accommodated for 3yrs free he was daft enough to buy the lies the other for not giving his wife a loan i knew she wont repay and will probably cause rift between us. on the other hand i have had ex tell me cut this and that off we dont need them or they are using you if you dont do it now they will think i caused it after we married. it is mostly blackmail and manipulation in my book. thankfully i am very loyal to the good people the Lord has given me the privilege of calling friends.
i am what i am because of Gods grace and their love and guidance becos they were there for me when i needed them and when i didnt need them.

Outstrip:
Sometimes these responses make me feel that Nigerian women feel like they have to act like they are brainless and utterly stupid to be a good wife. How the hell can a mother in law send someone packing. The husband cannot send anyone packing not to talk of mother in law

women inhumanity to women

with the high level of deception and slinging along these days, me think pre nup is a must for any naija person

almondjoy:
Well, that is Nigeria for you!  When you have no hope--you are forced to sell your soul to the devil especially in Nigeria. Thanks to our ever super-caring politicians!


You can imagine the spiritual states of these girls or women many years to come after indulging in all these things. How can they ever find a sense of normalcy for heaven's sake?

Thank God a escaped!  Poor girls!

good old AJ. i sure miss you

no form of abuse is acceptable not even the verbal abuse some women think is excusable

[quote author=,amebo no1 link=topic=310530.msg4361384#msg4361384 date=1250436015]sex isn't all, infact come and have my own man for 30 mins , i betcha , you will be on the next available 'the young ' motors going to okija shrine to take him away from him  ([size=18pt]just joking)[/size]

My dear close your legs for a minute and think with your brain and not vagina[/quote]you sure know how to rub it in. i wish most people hear you loud and clear

Sisi Jinx:
DIVORCE
The husband throws the wife's pots and pans outta the house. . . 3 times and there's ya divorce.

CHILD CUSTODY
The children stay with the father coz. . . well coz he IS there father. (Duh!!)

Hope that helped.

Okay, just playin' with ya. . .there are divorce courts and each culture has it it's own ways of doing things. For instance the Hausas require the wife to file formal divorce papers. If it's not contested, she is granted one by the courts.

The husband on the other hand does not have to go through that, all he has to do is send the wife back to her parent's house with a formal declaration that he wants a divorce. This has to be done 3 times for it to stick. More often than not, the children stay with the Daddy coz it's he is financially responsible for 'em.

This is what is REQUIRED but of course the process varies by case.

you God help you

[size=28pt]Mother-in-law sends you packing?[/size]
By GIDEON OPARINDE[tomgidops@yahoo.com]
Sunday, August 16, 2009

•Oluchi
Photo: Sun News Publishing

*
Mores Stories on This Section

The battle line was drawn between Mama Dapo and her daughter-in-law some weeks before Laide was married to Dapo. In her usual overbearing way, Mama had insisted she followed Laide to the market to buy the Aso Ebi that the intending couple would wear on their introduction. Laide had refused the offer on the premise that she knew what she and her husband wanted and… Mama was ‘old school’.

Laide did not know peace in her home in the weeks and years and years to come. Coupled with the fact that she did not conceive early enough, Mama had labeled her among members of the family, rude and infertile girl, and it stuck! For this reason, she must go as ‘two captains cannot stay in a boat’.

Many ladies have been in this kind of situation before. Some survived it perhaps with the cooperation of their husbands while some did not because their husbands, the mummy’s boy that they are played out the script of the mother-in-law. We asked respondents how they would respond if their mothers-in-law should send them packing. Their responses:

MRS. OLUCHI
For my mother-in-law to have sent me packing means I must have hurt her. Although there are natural and gifted wicked mothers-in-law. When such women notice the inseparable love between a couple, they would think the wife has hypnotized their son, thereby they wagging war against the poor daughter-in-law.

YETUNDE ADEDINI
I know she can’t do that without a grounded reason. But if that happens, the first thing I will do is talk to my husband and beg my mother-in-law. But if it turns out it is their joint plan to send me out, I would not hesitate; I will leave.


MRS. EZENNE NNKIRUKA
It is not possible, no. Where was she when her son married me? She is not supposed to be interfering in her children’s home. If perhaps she should, the only thing she could do is help settle whatever form of rift that could have come up between them, not to be a judge or an intermediary as the case may be.
My mother-in-law would never send me packing. If that was how she was treated, would she still be in her husband’s home or how would she feel watching her daughters being given same humiliation?
It is quite sad and disappointing that some mothers-in-law today, who were supposed to be consolation to their daughters-in-law, have instead turn out to be threat and source of sadness and discomfort; that is why some women pray not to have mother-in-law because they believe they are rare devils.

Secondly, it is on the other hand sad enough and a great pity that some men still have not understood their responsibilities in the home. For example, they lack the common knowledge that they are to protect their wives’ integrity from any assault or abuse as the case may be. Irrespective of their age or maturity as they claim, some men still see themselves as mummy’s boy. It is sad for a married, matured man who cannot stand in for his family or wife any point in time. not have the right.

MRS. AKINYIOLA
My husband and I will go to her together to actually know why she would make such a decision. If all pleas fall on deaf ears, I would then make arrangement with my husband whether to get an apartment for me somewhere in order to make peace reign, if that would make her happy.

FALOLA OMOWUMI
I don’t believe any mother-in-law could for lack of better things or selfish and demonic heart interfere in her son’s family affairs. There is no mother-in-law that can send me out of my husband’s home as far as I’m concerned. I will tell her I have all rights to remain his wife as long as there is a clear evidence of proper marriage and love between us.

MRS JOY
I will not leave because my mother-in-law has no right sending me packing out of my husband's house.

MRS. RACHAEL OYELOWO
It is just impossible, it can’t happen and that is just the truth.

BUKKY TELLA
I don’t think such a thing still happens in this civilized life. But if it does, it is unfair on the part of the mother-in-law. If that is how homes are run overseas and everywhere, how many women would still remain in their husbands’ homes? I see it as self centeredness and sheer wickedness.

In a situation where she just wants me out at all cost, I will try to make peace with her, praying that God should touch her heart. If my husband does not support her, it means I’m not moving anywhere because he made vows when we got married. That is why it is good to be legally married.

MRS. MARY .S.
It all depends on what happened earlier before she can send me out. If am guilty and I pleaded for forgiveness, she refuses and my husband is in support, then will I know he's not meant to for me. Then I will return to my parents.

MRS. ADA UWAEZUOKE
Well, mothers-in-laws have always protected their sons’ interests. But should such happen to me, I will make my husband realize the essence of marriage. I would also make my mother-in-law know that I have children and that I’m a responsible woman, so I would not leave. I will let it be known to my family that she is just trying to separate us, putting the family in disarray without a course.


http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/wiveslive/2009/aug/16/wiveslive-16-08-2009-001.htm

wbb

so NL ladies begin your application process

tboy1:
Dats NL for you, bunch of hypocrites

@ post
[b]im sure u've found a solution to ur problem cus this is more than a 2 yr post

[/b]exactly my tots. i know this home and away business is what naija men and women do best.

chiejik:
[i]So you can see that marriage authomatically brings the two families as one. There is no way you can seperate them without trouble. That is why courtship is important. It gives you an insight of the family(not only the man) you are about to accept and after marriage with time the woman should be able to see her in-laws just the way she sees her own family members. That is the beauty of marriage. A woman is not married to a man to cut him away from his family.

this answers the question

yes you are right

loneliness one ugly demon

theives may they all be cursed with whatever they spend the money on

[quote author=Tudór link=topic=309805.msg4350318#msg4350318 date=1250248018]And this foolish con man is no other than our very own
PASTOR E.A ADEBOYE!!! [color=#990000][/color][/quote]wetin the man do you?

beyunce:
In Nigeria its really rare for you to find a man that would really want to get married to single parent. especially if the one single is the lady.

in the midst of the singles you go for the one with parents title as if your life depends on it

so nigerians can kill themselves easily. more weapons of wars for a USSR / yugoslavia waitng to happen

do we ever learn?

Sisi Jinx:
Tee hee hee

tee hee hee my dear sister. you are the original fine blessed mind.
how have you been and how is everyone? you see how you have failed to educate despite the huge budget. i feel sad reading some nigerian women.

boobzy:
Marriages fail cos both parties stop being patient, tolerant and accomodating!! At the time of courtship, both parties were willing to do almost anything for each other but after a while they begin to take each other for granted. Though I strongly believe to a very large extent that the success or failure of a marriage, lies in the hands of the woman.

NL femi nazis are going to be up in arms very soon but that is fact no man is big enough to destroy a marriage a woman sets out to build. like chaircover said yesterday if most women understand a man it is posible to eat out of your hands

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1 (NLV)