₦airaland Forum

Truvelisback:
Good day, Fellas. Why are guys losing interest in settling down?

Are they?

Then who are the ones getting married every other day at the registry and every weekend? Abi it's same sex weddings?

He lost his job, not his life. He can definitely get another job while 8keep working to keep things together.

Any marriage that is one-si3in terms of finance, etc. That marriage is not different from a three legged table.

Lari03r:
Be specific about the category of men you are talking about.

An educated man can not enjoy companionship with an uneducated woman. The thread binding them will only be intercourse and mundane matters, they can never connect on an intellectual level. And this means the man will definitely prefer a different woman as time goes by.

You are probably referring to semi-literate men who learned a skill after secondary school. While all men are men, there are differences in orientation, quality and outlook.

I personally love intelligent women especially female lawyers. Men who are afraid of a woman's education belong to the last century.

Exactly! When I look around my environment and beyond, i don't see educated men married to illiterate women. I don't think that is a thing at all.

An educated man wants to marry an equally educated woman. Maybe the op is talking of the category of men who prefer to go to the village to find a wife they can tame.

Richy4:
We can argue back and forth without coming into agreement ....Let me try and explain for the last time...

What I said was... He should have told you. Both of you should have been on the same page on the project.... But again...., He knows the kind of woman he married... He knows that even in 20 years time, You will never approve...considering what you have been posting here...Anyone who can read between the lines will understand the reasons why you were not told,.... you will always have a reason why the building project should not be actualized and both of you will never be on the same page...

You keep on saying that that was his parent's house... No dear... It isn't... That was his house( your house).., His Parents were only using that house to boast of their son's success...It's not like in America where when u say a house belong to a parents, it was indeed/actually belongs to parents,,...The parent cannot do anything in that house without your husband's consent.

In Igbo culture, I believe Some husband will not put their wife off while embarking on such project because they share the same culture...Again it depends mainly on the woman too...If they share the same vision and mission...

Please do not take it to heart, What he did was cultural( building to sign in a signature of a little success in his home town)which unfortunately impacted you negatively, The building did not last forever right? he will start contributing the way u wanted it after the project...

But he should have waited till they were more stable before embarking on such a project, not while she was working extra to keep them up. He didn't have to build it on her sweat and not telling her. It was not a life or death situation. It could wait.

I can't help but think that you support the guy's actions from your comments. Like igbos are meant to build houses while neglecting their families. How is that a cultural thing? It's more of a showing off thing. So that his parents can have bragging rights.

About the house being "theirs"...you should know that as a typical igbo man, he will most likely marry a Nigerian wife (that's if he hasn't done that already). So which wife co-owns the house? Let's not act like we don't know what our people are capable of.

He is behaving like the typical deceptive Nigerian man that marries a foreigner in a foreign land for its benefits.

lefemmechoclat:
Well if that is.how you want to take it. Our family should be first that is how you avoid divorce. If I wanted to be petty, I could just show the money transfers and he would owe me in court half of that 60k.

Of course your family should come first. Building a house for his parents was not a life or death situation. It could have waited.

The children are his also, so allow him to take responsibility for them and stop using your own money. That will leave him with little cash to throw around in case he's trying build a house for his community too.

Saintmary:
I'm happy people like this are coming out to confess their true feelings.



Now people will understand why some ladies pray for their mother in-law's death.

Yeah. Now people can see how some inlaws think.

But wishing their MIL or future MIL's death is extreme.

You had built-up anger and hateed towards your mother. It was bound to be let loose one day. It's just a pity the way you unleashed it.

Apologize to her and your dad. Maybe you could call your dad and talk to him first.

Lalasticlala please let's get more views on this and save a "cousin brother"

LilMissFavvy:
I keep seeing this English "my cousin brother". What exactly does "my cousin brother" means? I thought cousins are either male or female, so one should just say "my cousin (a guy) or my cousin "a female". Why do people in the east* like making this statement?

I only hear/see it here and it's really annoying. You keep hearing cousin brother/cousin sister.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF NAIRALAND, IT IS EITHER FEMALE COUSIN OR MALE COUSIN. THIS TREND OF "COUSIN SISTER/COUSIN BROTHER" SHOULD DIE NOW!!!

Chiefecho:
True love does not wait for establishment

But when the issues of life faces them, hope their love will remain true.

Very good actor.

Saintmary:
First, I don't pray to meet an in-law like you.



Secondly, start traveling home periodically, like once a month, so you can give their love a breathing space, and so you can find your own love.


Go to church, get busy.

Thank God she is not his sister. She would just act like a bone in the girl's throat because she's jealous of the attention her brother gives her.

nedubrazil111:
Great news, but it's important that people give due credit to assisted reproduction technology so that others in that situation can seek similar help rather than keep waiting on God

These days there are many ways to assist people get pregnant. It's not just IVF. There's the herbal method, medical treatment, etc. But some of you are ready to sing IVF.

Truvelisback:
He didn't mention but from his naration it's Possibly the child birth was late accompanied with complications.

You just assumed it. Nothing like that was implied. And when you say late birth, what do you mean?

When a man is stubborn, it takes the grace of God to get through to him. If you guys try and he's still adamant, leave him to his life. He will come back when he sees the light.

Truvelisback:
This is why delay in birth is very dangerous and could cause birth defect. The state of such child to be normal is very, very slim. The child might end up being an imbecil.

Did the op mention delay in birth or anything like that?

Emaprince:
You should be intelligent enough to believe this cock and bull story na.

The whole story is falling out of place.

The person that made that video is very bold to make it and post it..to expose the woman. You think and abuser will do that which will inturn expose him?

I know you will defend your fellow woman sha...you should disown the story teller in the OP. She failed woefully at twisting the event in a bid to paintbthe man evil.

You should be smart enough not to conclude based on one side of the story. Even if the woman is guilty, wait to hear from her first also. Why are you quick to believe the guy? Do you know him?

bukatyne:
This is even more unbelievable than the initial thread.

More versions will keep surfacing till the real one gets out.

For all the guys that were happy to feed the narrative of a cheating wife without knowing the full story, here you are. Everything is not about a "cheating Nigerian woman".

Emaprince
Princeeze1

Emaprince:
lol.she is not running for her life. She just dont want the shame that comes with being caught.

One sure thing is women can go any length to hide evidences of their whorish ways..unlike men who don't care most times

Women that can swallow their sim card rather than being caught. Or even damage their phones beyond repair.

Of course it fits the narrative that you guys uphold here. That is why it is easy to believe it immediately without hearing from the woman.

Whereas, if it were a man, we would have been hearing "let's hear from the husband first" all over the thread from you guys.

waistbead:
Ekom doo ndito eka...

Dinner

Afere afang(afang soup)very tasty



Live life....

Chai! E don dey hungry me

This woman looks like she is running for her life. This story is not complete. We need to hear from the other side.

Officialgarri:
Ceteris Paribus. Business grows when families and friends pay for the services rendered to them.

You have a good wife, don't let issues like this stir up hostility in your family. Rather, pay her back in her own coin if the opportunity arises, then you both should laugh over it.

The question is...if her sister comes to learn from her, will she demand 100k from her parents or will teach her for free? Whatever help she accords her sister, she should do for her sister inlaw too.

cococandy:
Go build your own in Haiti too. You’re a nurse practitioner you have the money.

Henceforth let him be the one to focus on providing for the kids.

Exactly! Let her reduce her contribution since he is using it to set up his own family.

If that woman divorces him, at least he has a mansion to go back to live in Nigeria.

simpleseyi:
His parents deserves everything he can afford. But, you deserve to know too. You really deserve to.

You see, in Nigeria, there is nothing like Education loans or government's subsidies, our parents sacrifice everything in order to give us the little they can. Some parents sell even their wrappers, blouses, trousers, e.t.c. to provide basic needs for their children. Several parents slave to give their children basic needs. This is why children are like retirement plans of Nigerian parents. So, please bear with him, but he needs to let you know. You and the children are his future, if he does not treat you well, then he is messing up his future. Secondly, a typical Nigerian man will not let his wife over-work, never ever, he will rather slave than let his wife over-work. You need to sit him down and talk, but divorce is the worst thing that can happen to any family. Please avoid it.

His parents deserve everything from her own sweat abi? Her parents don't deserve anything? Or didn't they sacrifice for her too?

Please don't condone bad behaviour and say "bear with him". The man is selfish and his parents can wait. It doesn't have to be while the wife is struggling to keep them afloat. That is a terrible betrayal.

Your cousin better not get married with you still in that house. This one that you are already getting angry that a grown man spends time with his girlfriend. Someone that is housing you for free.

Allow your cousin to build his life with a good woman and stop trying to get in the way. Start making other friends so that your life doesn't centre around him.

Graceihotu:
My question is "what do guys really want"
I am not saying I am perfect but I know I am surely the best girlfriend any guy could ever think of yet I am still experiencing heartbreak at 31���


Had issues with my boyfriend since last year April bkos of a particular girl he posted on Facebook addressing her as the mother of his house. I became angry and told him I was only going to continue the relationship if I spoke to the lady in question bkos same lady posted him too calling him her first love.


He told me the lady was his cousin sister and ofcourse I believed him bkos she bares same surname with his cousin brother whoose wedding we attended together, He addressed me as his wife to be throughout the occasion so I had everything to believe in him

Just five days ago I saw his wedding notification on Facebook with that same lady. My heart has never been this broken B4 in my life. I have cried out my soul to the extent that I barely see clearly this days. I tried not to cry but I just can't. I am seriously weeping as I am typing this.

I have tried to encourage myself but I just can't stop crying and WAILING.

Who have I ever offended and what exactly do guys want?

I have searched all through the 5 yrs of relationship and aswear with my life that I never stressed him but I only requested Love not Money from him

My heart is bleeding.
I only sent him his pre-wedding pics and congratulated him then he replied "thanks''

He feels I don't deserve an explanation �����

It's a difficult time but this too shall pass. He may act like he is smart leading you on for those years only to drop you. He thinks he has it all now. But don't worry. God and karma will be his reality soon.

Just try to focus on your life, work, family and other things that give you some sort of happiness and fulfillment. Real love will find you soon.

You should feel for the woman that he married because if he can do something this bad to you, she shouldn't think she has immunity.

Take care and be fine.

Wizywiz:
Op kpele oooo...but na so una women dey do some guys na....he sets u up and equip u sacrifice his all and heart....yet some of una go still follow another man....may ur broken heart be mended.... meanwhile u sound desperate for marriage... always mentioning your age....

Resist the urge to shalaye. Did she ask you for all this stories? Or she told you in private that he sacrificed for her and she left? Please focus! Stop adding other stories. You should have stopped at "Op kpele ooo"

chatinent:
Hunger never catch this ogbeni before sha.

If hunger catch you, no be catapult you go sell. Who wan buy? Na necessity?

easzypeaszy:
Jennifer Union bank abi..Call center

No. This one is just Jeanny.

Jeanny...talk of a woman with a bad attitude. Always bragging about the fact that she made the bank sack people.

degamonn:
The other parts are not really my concern here neither do have advice in that respect.
My concern is somebody who is working and she requires 1k every day as transportation cost of which proceeds are not used to the benefit of your immediate family is what baffles me.
You do that for love right? clap for yourself

Won't it be better for her to stay at home so that he can save 20k plus on her tfare. She's not even using her salary to assist. Her working is a burden on her husband.