₦airaland Forum

Ivorianaija:
I would like you to elaborate on your point that submission is non-negotiable. It depends what one person wants and what the other is willing to give.

Elaborate that a woman should submit to her husband?

It means that a wife should submit to her husband.

FreeConCiencE:
No! A stressed woman to go and pound yam? No man will say this. I knew you said this to Polish your point.

Here, we are saying being submissive and taking to husband's instructions is very rare in most marriages now. You are here justifying a wrong thing. Even, if the wife is footing the whole bills at home, culture, God, morality or what have you demand that she should still be submissive and take to the instructions of her husband provided that the husband is not deliberately running away from his responsibilities.

For your information, women of these days are not as stressed as the women of the old era. Fetching water, fire wood, manual clothes washing, pounding yam, assisting husband on the farms, transporting heavy loads from one place to another with their heads, among others chacterized the activities of the women of the old days. Yet, they still submitted to their husbands. Now, machine wash clothes, pound yam, wash plate, gas does the cooking and the woman will still expect the man to do all the house chores. This is terrible.

A woman that cannot submit to her man and take to his instructions is an ungodly woman and should not consider getting married. The Quran says it and the Bible also says it.

Culture, God and morality don't support the woman footing the whole bill. Let's start from there.

In all i have said, i have not said a woman should not submit. In fact i said it is not negotiable.

It is just that some men bully and maltreat their wives and pin it on submission. That is not how it works.

I didn't say anything to polish my point. It is the attitude of a lot of men to lord over their wives and show their authority as the husband and man of the house and i have seen it happen.

Men that are always enforcing their authority have most likely done something to lose the respect of their wives.

FreeConCiencE:
So, because a woman contributes to the needs of the family is why she will feel cheated if she is still submissive to her husband and take his instructions?
Clap for yourself!

You completely miss the point. There is always a lot of comparison between women of old and modern day women.

Submission is not negotiable. However, the man has to treat her with consideration and respect just as she does too.

You cannot tell a woman that is just coming back from work to go and pound yam for you or make one complicated or stressful dish. It is common sense and not being selfish

braunstrowman:


Gone are the days, when a woman will see her husband and she will submit to him and to his instructions wholeheartedly but not days again.

Even the Bible says wife should be submissive to her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-33 New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

A man will give simple instructions to his wife or girlfriend they will still find it hard to obey him or listen to his instructions.

Amaka don't do this! She will still do that.

Mama Emeka shut up when I'm talking! She will talk 50 times before the man will say two statement.

Ma victor you didn't wash my clothes! Do I look like your house maid.

You girls should be respectful and obedient to your husband or boyfriend

Cc Lalasticlala dominique

Why should he tell his wife to shut up when he is talking?

All these points you raised did not start in this generation. It has nothing to do with women of today. Absolutely nothing.

And you cannot even compare then with now. Then, the husband worked and brought in the money while the wife stayed home and took care of the house and kids.

You cannot expect it to be exactly the same when the woman also works as hard as the man or even harder and still bears children, takes care of the children and the home. Of course she will feel cheated when she is still treated without consideration.

Marriage is an agreement between two people. Couples should try to make life easy for each other without one feeling neglected or disrespected.

N0favors:
Ima, how would you know they are few? Have you carried out any research on this? Have you got statistical data to prove this?

My dear you can only speak for you

How do people know that they are many? Have you asked if they have carried the statistics? It is always easier to believe the worst.

Favor99:
Thank you it’s nice that we have a woman on here that isn’t sexist and isn’t a man-hater. Most of the other Nairaland girls are even here defending the nneka girl. The girl made some obvious hateful comments. And the girls here on nairaland are defending her. What that blogger nneka said is not feminism, it’s misandry. The feminism movement in America and in the western world was to provide equal rights for women and provide better lives for women. The feminism movement in Nigeria is a fraud, and it’s a cover up for hatred against Nigerian men. It’s not real feminism. The western powers/white supremacy are behind this, dividing black people as usual.

Naah i am just a realist not feminist,female-ist or anything i don't understand properly.

But when the time comes to bash the guys with good reason, i do it unapologetically.

Dami12345:
No offense lady, most girls in any business are like that, you might just be the exception rather than the rule.
Hence the generalization.

There are so many exceptions. In fact the ones who sleep around in the office are fewer than the ones who don't.

It is not always what it seems. Just because my BM used to drop me at my bus stop, they assumed since i was entering his car, i was going home with him. Married man for that matter.

And when he had a accident and the shock made him unable to drive, i used to drop him off too. People just like to see things in a twisted manner.

When i heard the rumour, i didn't even bother to shut it down. I just allowed them to keep it alive.

Lilisticlili:
Children are blessings from God after marriage yes true but that is a layman understanding because modernised prostitues today under he guised of "slay mamas" have children without marriage but the married ones looks out for it.

So what's the main essence of having children as most people disagrees with it and prefare to live childless.



Happy children day to Lalasticlala amarabae

Are you working with what most people think when it comes to having children? Are the opinions of this "most people" going to form the basis for your decision to have children or not?

My 600lb life

Dami12345:
And what would you prefer, would you prefer the babe that gives you rest of mind or the office ashawo??

Why do people always conclude on stuffs like this. "Office ashawo". It is very common. Just like i heard the rumour then that i was sleeping with my BM. From that day, i stopped listening to stupid rumours and assumptions.

If money impresses lazy girls alone,why do the rich,hardworking ladies not marry guys without money?

How many people become lesbians because of heartbreak? Most times, it starts way further than that.

Some could have been victims of female househelps, an older person or even their mates in school touching them at a young age.

Some could be as a result of things they were exposed to...probably pornography.

These are just a few reasons.

A woman should not lose herself all in the name of dating. Nobody can make you do what you don't want to do except you permit it.

You have to be able to stand up for yourself and have confidence in you.

People will treat you the way you treat yourself. How can you expect someone to love you genuinely if you don't love yourself?

A relationship is not do or die. If it doesn't go down well with you, move on and don't do things that you will end up regretting.

heendrix:
so

So what?

teesugar:
you're so correct. I just left the kitchen now with my baby. I carried her with one hand and I was cutting onions and cooking with the other hand. She won't let me do anything ooo. She wants me whereever she is. So funny.

Lol...how many months is she?

I had to carry mine while i turned on the gen. I have become superwoman.

It is phase that will pass.

charliboy654:
U are the one getting me, wrong. Try to read n comprehend what I wrote.

I said being pregnant before marriage means that you had sex before marriage. That doesn't mean that having sex always leads to pregnancy. Some people have been having sex and have never been pregnant. When did i imply what yoy said?

There's a point when your baby begins to have separation anxiety. They don't want you to leave their sight. You must carry them around like a shadow

This woman don tire

Tallesty1:
In Nigeria.

Was supposed to go out on date with a babe sometime ago but she showed up with three friends. Taking last is not my portion so I took them to a corn joint and bought one roasted corn and two pears for each of them.

That idea of showing up with friends is very annoying and senseless. A date is supposed to be private. If a girl does that, just know she doesn't care about you.

charliboy654:
So u wud believe Linda is a virgin if she had not gotten pregnant.
I really donno whats the big deal her, Linda is in her late 30s we already knew she wasn't a virgin. The pregnancy proves nothing.

Does it mean that all the ladies in town are virgins because they are not pregnant? Why are you reading meaning that is not there?

I drove there and he didn't. And he refused to enter the car when we had to go some blocks down the road. So we trekked instead.

I just knew then that his ego would be a problem.

donstan18:
I normally check birthday events everyday to wish people I know.

Awesome. Thanks

Be deceiving yourself there OP. You think everyone will post pre wedding pictures here. People that don't even have their pictures displayed on their profile.

As i said before...do not take what any human being says to heart. When push comes to shove, they will do the exact opposite and start trying to edit what they said initially.

charliboy654:
There's difference between 'no sex b4 marriage' and 'not getting pregnant before marriage'

Getting pregnant before marriage is the evidence of sex before marriage.

donstan18:
Happy birthday to you ImaIma1.


Wishing you abundant blessings, long live and prosperous days ahead. Enjoy and have a blast.

I am scared. How did you know it's my birthday today?

Some men here have also accepted that notion and renounced their head of family position especially because they don't want to be the sole or major provider.

AprokoGirl:


VIRAL PICTURES OF HIS GRAND CHILDREN AND WIFE will shock you !!!

CHECK HERE : https://aprokogirl.com/7927/actor-richard-mofe-damijo-rmd-slays-in-native-outfit-pics/

Why will they shock us??

NwaAmaikpe:



Naija Beauty queens and footballers be like Agege-bread
sellers and Garage boys.

I remember my comment when this orange-albino escapee was crowned queen.
I said that footballers just got a new training ground.
I wasn't wrong.

Since my first prophesy worked,
I'd prophesy again.

This union is just a waste of time

Agege bread and ewa agoyin

Safiaa:
You are hurt. Very feminine. You go around sounding like a broken sissy who cant keep her emotions together. We can definitely differentiate between the real men on this forum and the emotionally unstable ‘fake’ alphas Lool. Get it together sir

I don't believe there is actually anything like alpha male. Just a bunch of upcoming guys acting tough and macho till one lady comes and sweeps them off their feet.

Op it speaks to men and women.

Will "my lord" agree to wash plates or fold clothes?

What of the case where both husband and wife work and contribute to the needs. It is no longer the way you presented it.

These days, both parents go to work. They come back together and the wife prepares dinner, baths the kids, put them to sleep, prepare them for school and do their homework. Who is working more?

The guy even relaxes more. And just on Tuesday at the hospital,a doctor said his brother's wife just put to bed and his dad and mum are traveling to the US not just the mum. And i see that happen often these days.

Things have changed. Fathers also bond with their children not just the mothers anymore. Men are becoming less bullish in the home. Children tend to get close to the person they can talk to and not the one always giving instructions,corrections,punishment.

Men be close to your children so that you won't start crying foul when they show their mum more love and attention in the future.

Having baby no be joke o...you go give them life, you go feed them... Onyeka Onwenu

Op you need to get a job ASAP. Providing for a baby is no joke. Diapers are used like water. If you dont have money, every time the baby poops, your body will be biting you.

Even if your wife is doing exclusive, she needs to eat well and healthy. Drinking garri will not suffice. When you start buying baby formula...food, you will know that you are spending money.

Babies don't care if there is no money. They must eat and poop.