₦airaland Forum

To stop missing him everytime. As it is, when he goes to work and i dont...i miss him a lot.

If someone has to budget this tight to wed, ler him remain single before he allows someone's child to come and suffer.

victorDanladi:
All these things are applicable to all modern day Pentecostal church.

Nope nope nope...i strongly disagree.

In my church, we give but no compulsion . We are made to understand the what the bible says about giving then it is left to you and God. They do not monitor our tithes.

We do not idolize the pastor. We respect him.We don't have to try to look like him. Our individuality shows and we work together like that.

Sin is not promoted even among pastors. The last pastor that was caught in a shameful act was cautioned and he left the church.

Our cell fellowship is more like a smaller family that allows the church know people's individual problems, when they are celebrating something, when they are in need,etc. Not to collect money.

Your church is meant to be there for you. As a financial dept member in my unit; I know how many times we have to help unit members with kids hospital bills, welfare needs,etc.

When i was ill, it seemed the whole church(as big as it is) knew because i got calls and messages constantly. I just had to get well.

So until you have attended every church and seen the way things are run...then you can come here and state your statistics according to facts and not hearsay or preconceived notions.

coolcatty:
Every man wants peace of mind....respect and Appreciation from his woman...most Nigerian women lack these attributes....they are so stubborn,unfaithful and a huge negative to a man's state of mind and overall happiness.

I really do not blame any man that goes to in search of peace from a side chick....this life is once and should be lived to the fullest.

Your generalization and justification is epic!

malvisguy212:
I admire your faith, you are very strong, are you sure hell does not exist ? why do you want to jeopadis your eternity ? how do you make yourself believe hell does not exist ? if you want to be an atheist, be a sincere one, don't be like the ones we see on nairaland.

I ignore people who call themselves atheists. You don't need to argue with them. When the time comes for them to see the light, nobody will need to convince them. Free him.

I can't even get past the jerry curl sef before the other long issues. The fact that he is idolized to the point that pastors and members also curl their hair to look like him already gives me an insight into their minds.

Every other matter about sex, money, etc is going too far...first explain this jerry curl matter CE members. I NEED to understand it please.

So she couldn't combine family and acting like her colleague, Mercy. She was busy gushing over her husband. Maybe if she had been acting, things would have turned out differently.

YesNoMaybe:
Na so e dey carry start.

Women and reverse psychology.

See you around.

Why are u worried for us?

djfabmusik:
but are you aware some people can be very secretive which means getting married immediately after 4 to 8 months after dating could be kind of danger so you need more time that was the reason op get to know his guy was a drug addict

If the person is secretive, even after two years of dating, u might still be in the dark.

My point is that the quality of the dating should be the focus rather than the duration.

gentlegenius:
Ufan... mkpo abadie?
I took exception to your last statement. Sex is not food to me and other reasonable, hardworking guys. It only strengthen the bond between two people and add spices to the relationship when both partners are satisfied.
My girlfriend is still a virgin and I'll love to marry her like that. But if at any point, I see the need introduce sex into our relationship before marriage, I will do just that and she won't reject it. After all, she knows I'll still marry her whether as a virgin or not.

Idioko.. i said "some" guys.

Zither:
Funny, those are the same words I would say.

You take life too seriously. Breathe Zither! Breathe!

Is it only sex you have to offer?

Bambog:
C'mon, guys are different. Our priorities in a relationship varies. But sex is a factor in a relationship... it creates more bond if the love between them is real

But how will the girl remain a virgin till the wedding when the guy demands for sex. You know for some guys, it is food.

Your relationship is based on faith. Just the way we love and believe in God that we cannot see.

Life is too fast moving and colourful for you to be in a relationship like this. You need to learn to take a stand like..."if we dont see tomorrow, I am done". And you live in the same city. Don't wait only to find out that he is married.

The ego of an average Nigerian man will destroy the marriage before the woman's career does.
Because everything she will do will seem to him as disrespectful. Some couples handle it well but if you know you are the "prideful " and egocentric type of man...just jejely marry a lady that is beneath you in all ramifications to avoid issues.

I don't really mind the sex...well especially if it's an elderly man.
But i heard when a woman is in labour, she won't care if it is an hermaphrodite that examines her.

NwaAmaikpe:


Walahi...

The only thing that can really mess up your marriage and make it not last is not having a side-chick.

My wise grandfather told me that wives are like Rolls-Royce while side-chick are like Camry...

You don't overuse the Rolls Royce, you only use it when you have to use it so it does not spoil unlike the Camry which is your all-weather car.

You can't smack your wife's ass during sex, talk dirty to her or give her anal but you can readily do that and more with your side-chick and not be scared of being considered a pervert.

Honestly a healthy man's libido can not be handled by only one woman unless she wants to die before the man.
Variety is also the spice of life.
Man is not a monogamous animal and the preek is the only snake that can not live in one hole all it's life.

So if you want your marriage to last long, start looking outside now.

Wow!!! Cool advice. But save it for your generation.

Zither:
Knew something like this would come up. I don't do online romance or relationships or that kind of thing. Besides, I have no idea what you look like and on top of that you're married. As regards stalking you, you should know by now that family section is a small place and we bump into a particular name often numerous times as we read through new or trending topics. The occasion for coincidental meeting abounds in such online community. Lastly, if you took the time to make a short investigation into my personality by looking through my comments you would have dispelled the notion of my stalking you because it is a stark contrast with my religious belief as a Christian.

I however believe I courted this reaction from you by unnecessarily throwing compliments your way. It achieved the opposite effect intended which was to convey my respect and appreciation of your wisdom.

Besides, following a member of this forum is likened to stalking them and it is the norm but you will confirm that I never followed you as a member. What else should I say but that you've got it all wrong.

Hahaha. You are obviously a funny and interesting person. See you around

Zither:
Hmmm. Once again, impressive comment. Your hubby must be very lucky.

Zither are you stalking me?

OluchiDelly:
If this is for CROWNWEALTH019, what will you say about nwaAmaikpe then?

I wonder o

You don't have to date for years to know someone is on drugs,etc.
What is important is what you actually do with the dating time. Are u people just going out seeing movies, eating out, having fun,etc?
Get to really know each other...talk and ask questions, observe behaviours and pick up vibes. It is not about just having fun. Open your eyes and the inner eyes too.

O[sub][/sub]

lovaleenny:
Ur rant is actually baseless...assuming d girl entered ur kitchen to cook her food u will still find issues with it...she's a guest...u expect all guests to come into ur home,cook and clean all ur clothes and what not seriously? D ppl u mentioned are close family so they wud do it outta love but u and d babe sef no close and u expect her to be all chummy and start doing all chores...o ga o...some women need serious brain resetting...den u brought it to NL like we r suppose to praise u or go beat d girl or better still abuse ur hubby for allowing her to come to ur home...some women be finding issues where there's none since 1800

I cannot go to my brother's/cousin's house and sit down and cross my leg and expect his wife to serve me especially if she is older and worse still pregnant. Haba!! It is simple courtesy. If she is in the kitchen, i will ask what i can do. I will help around the house. I can only cross my legs if she has a house help. I think the girl just has that ownership mentality that it's her brother's house.
My brother's wife is always happy when me or my sisters visit because she relaxes and becomes lazy begging us to cook and help her with d kids even my sisters that are older than her pamper her and we are different tribes.

Me i am even begging my husband to invite his sisters to spend some weeks with us. I want to be pampered

If the girl cannot help, just tolerate her till she goes.

The best punishment is that she has the child and faces the responsibility of being a mother along with her education, career,etc. She won't stop going to church and school if possible. I won't hide her at home or send her packing. Let her live openly with her mistakes and deal with them.
And I wont pause my life to take care of the baby while she goes back to her life. She will figure out a way to juggle while i help out.

I gave up my middle name and surname. ..lol.

My middle name was my dads first name anyway (cultural practice). So my husband's first name is now my middle name...complicated shiit

OP why not step up on the girls you date. You go for the beggy beggy types and come on NL to make noise.

Please change your crowd and step up your game.

greyboy5000:
no you are not objective
And what makes you think because some people agree with you means you are right or objective
To be objective you need to look at something from both sides of a coin or issue
But your comment only address one side of the coin or issue
All i ask of you is to look at the both sides of the coin or issue and give a detailed analysis

Note I am not against your view but against the lack of objectivity in it
Thank you

Today her analysis is on the way guys talk and behave. Maybe another day will be for the females. She is objective in her topic for today.

uglodoh:
Don't mind them. My dad had an accident at his place of work. My mom could not continue with her business. The last child was taken card of by my elder brother. He has finished his schooling. He is now working. He sends money to his nieces and nephews and he even takes them out to have fun. If any of his elder ones are in financial mess. He sends money. Everything depends on how children are being brought up by parents.

I think the op is talking about those parents that just have children with no intention of training them but just training the first child so that he or she can train the others.
It is a different case when life happens. But it is wiser not to have too many children no matter how fertile you are... to minimise future problems.

Nyceguy92:
I don't know how the OP arrived at her conclusions but I beg to disagree.
In every family, there is hierarchy and each level, from the oldest to the youngest child, has its expected roles and responsibilities.

I do not agree that a parent would, without some form of empowerment in the form of education or vocational training, totally transfer the burden of catering to the younger ones to the eldest. You would be talking of a family where the man is a loafer, a drunkard.
Or a case where both parents are debilitated and can no longer earn a living.

The case the OP quoted must be a very peculiar one.

The first child is a mini parent. He/she guides and looks after the younger ones, including buying them items.
These are roles they happily assume, even without being asked to do so.

But that does not mean the parents have taken their hands off their statutory responsibilities.
Or what would they be doing with their money if they have it?

This actually happens. It is very rampant. The 1st child is saddled with that responsibility of educating/setting up the younger ones. Off course there are things that the older ones should do lovingly for the younger ones but it has been abused and turned to a duty.

I dont really understand this broke guy topic. It is a thing of the mind and i doubt any guy should be labelling himself as broke. So who are these broke guys?

This is so true. Many parents just produce children snd expect their first born child to take over parenting responsibility.
Parents should only have children that they can adequately cater for and all siblings should work out their salvation individually.

aribisala0:
Every body cannot hustle we are not created equally that is the unfortunate reality of life some are weak and some are strong. Some are intelligent and some are stupid. Some people fine while others wowo.There are many things in this life that we cannot changeThat is reality. Do you think stupid people woke up one day and joined the queue of stupidity. The other reality in Nigeria is that being rich is not always about how much you hustle. Next time you feel irritated by someone who does not match your high standards remember that you are not perfect also remember that life is very very short.
Always have a sense of humour. And don't take life that seriously .
@ OP welcome to the school of lif e ,we live and hopefully we learn

Then he should go and be lazy in the village or somewhere else. He cannot come and "refuse to hustle" while someone else is hustling to feed him. He doesn't have to do construction work or so. He needs to ve proactive. No food for lazy man.
If not everyone is meant to work hard or hustle, then not everyone is meant to enjoy life.

Since you dont like it, tell her. Personally, I like my name and do not mind. And i dont like being called mama this or mummy that. My kids should not take away my identity. The most important thing is that we respect each other.

You should talk to her since it bothers you.