₦airaland Forum

AderonkeOlaniyi:
Abeg tell them Mr Joro. Many of these girls don't even have up to 50k in their account. Nairaland girls sef wey get up to N500,000 no pass 6. If na lie ask Pocahontas

It's pocohantas.

You're welcome

Ladycewhy:
How does a person who doesn't want to employ the services of a lawyer go about initiating a divorce process for a marriage done at the registry in Nigeria ?




Lalasticlala I need meaningful contributions please.

You'll get better information at the magistrate court nearest to you.



Good luck.

Madam, you're married for a few weeks and you're complaining so much like this?

Your only problem right now is money because you overspent during your wedding.

Just patiently finish off your debt and don't overspend again.

Make sure you do family planning too.



As for your in laws:

Leju pa
Ranju
Ma rerin
Mashey transfer

In short, don't give in to their demands. You'll be the bad guy in your marriage for a while but once things get better they will all start sucking up to you, humans are that fickle.



Relax okay, it's not that bad.

Demigod22:
So I met Cynthia immediately we resumed from covid 19 break. We started as friends before the feelings set in. I made my intentions known to her. We usually called each other, but she stopped calling the moment I revealed my feelings to her. I was the only one doing the calls, the texting, we chatted everyday.

She said she doesn't like guys that take alcohol and I stopped. I started attending fellowship because of her, I was visiting hostel always because of her, I joined school politics because of her, I stopped keeping late night because of her. Everything she wanted I was doing, I bought her stuffs too.

The problem was that she wanted friendship and I wanted relationship. I was ready to accept her terms and conditions, like no sex, no visiting. I did all her assignments for her, I gave her tutorials,past questions, even mark her script with sentiment.

I realized how foolish I was trying to love someone that doesn't love me but was only interested in using me. I stopped calling and doing those things for her. One month after she started dating my coursemate. I was hurt but I moved on.

Today, after everything, this wicked girl sent me a message on WhatsApp, asking for my help regarding her project. She said she needs me to give her project topics and guide her. Then I am wondering how some people can be this wicked and heartless.

Although she denied dating my coursemate, she said she doesn't have the ability to love, that was her excuse of not accepting to date me and she said she is not dating my coursemate either, but what guts made her think that I will help her after the treatment I got from her for eight months?

You have two options:

Keep her around or let her go.


Ruminating will reduce your productivity.

reciprocal:
thank you for these suggestion. She has been really unhappy but scared of divorce and the impact on the kids

Truly, it's scary to be a divorcee. With the kind of dating environment we have in this country.

But let her take all the time she needs to first care for herself, watch her health and then make the best decision that will suit her.

As long as she can provide for her kids, they will understand eventually.


A mummy debilitated by high blood pressure is not useful for her kids. Better to stay alive and healthy than to drive yourself into the grave because of a man who doesn't care about your feelings.


Stay alive. That is very important.

reciprocal:
she has complained of infedility too.. Her husband carrying condoms in his bag and visiting several ladies

Are you kidding me?

This is 2022, and the problem seems to be persisting for nearly 3 years now!

Do you need me to put my observations in caps lock for you?

1. He's trying to control her with silent treatment, temper tantrums etc.
I suspect he's narcissistic (please read up on Google)

2. He's cheating. No doubt.


Action plan:
1. Learn how to live with a narcissist online as your first line of defense.
2. Prepare your exit plan.

By the way, how has she coped all these years?

eyinjuege:
Sadly, the agenda that the wife killed Mama will be propagated.
We always want to hold someone responsible when we lose a loved one.
I remember almost 25 years ago when I lost an uncle.
Amazing man, in his early 60s.
He collapsed and went into a coma.
He was found to be in diabetic coma and BP was also very high.
They gave them the impression at the hospital that it was too much Maggi that caused this.
The whole family kept spreading the nonsense narrative. His children too believed the nonseýnse and even stopped using Maggi too- they were in their 20s, all in uni.
My aunt was a great cook, a full housewife who made fresh meals everyday and was very much into cooking
That's when people started remembering that she can cut a whole bulb of onion to fry 2 eggs and it's only onions you'll be eating. People will find serious fault in everything and start lashing out at others becasue of their own grief.
Imagine a new widow burdened with the accusation of killing her husband by cooking with too much maggi
My uncle was a tall huge big man whose BMI would definitely fall within the obese group, he didn't get any exercise, had a driver to go everywhere, lived a sedentary lifestyle and was at the pinnacle of his corporate career. He also loved good food, and never joked with his food.
The wife was supposed to force him to exercise or go to the gym, she was supposed to make him control his portions, supposed to do this and that.
Meanwhile, she was also ignorant of all these things too.
The medical professionals at the teaching hospital ignored all his risk factors of obesity, gender, age, and comorbidites and focused on the salt/maggi or maybe that's the only thing we the family chose to hear. As if its the Maggi that caused his diabetes
People tend to forget illnesses come on due to multiple factors, and not just one single one.
Another aunt died of cancer and till date her daughter will not use a microwave. Whoever told them about radiation as a risk factor for cancer obviously didn't know that radiation from microwave does not make the food radioactive and can't cause cancer.

Wisdom resides here.

I salute you.

SEO2002:
A lady in Abia State today set her ex boyfriend ablaze because the latter abandoned her for another girl. Today being the day of his traditional marriage, she called him over to her place. When he came she poured fuel on him and set him ablaze.

Meanwhile, the guy grabbed her and both of them burnt to third degree.

As at the time of writing this report, the duo have been rejected by three hospitals and they are currently on their way to Umuahia. Viewers discretion is advised as the pictures below are graphic.

Somebody that got burnt and the hair is still intact.

Oshey blogger.

But you're good at editing sha.

You need connect to Hollywood

HardMirror:
I dont care who or what he is. I am not his follower, all I know is what he was posting helped me to see that my religion was and is a lie. Na that one concern me

Always searching, but never coming to the knowledge of the truth.


I come in peace.

eventainment:
It's the dawn of a new beginning again some persons have gotten their lives figured out already while some are still trying to find a path. Even when the life is figured some us are still learning (in the preparation phase) while some others have started earning with their skills or degree. Well let's dive right into the point digital skills needs no introduction it's come to become the trend in the market. And for spoilers you really don't need a degree to work for firms when you have good digital skill. I will categorize the various skills into different sections:
1 Graphical skills
2 developer skills
2a programming skills
2b non programming skills
3 content writing skills
4 digital marketing skills
5 project management skills
6 data scientist and data analytic skills
7 architectural designer

These skills are hot cake in the market as thousand of jobs are being gotten on a daily basis around these stacks.
Let's talk about each mentioned above.
graphical skills
Skills like graphics designer, UI/UX designer, motion graphics designer are strongly in this stack. And the software to get used to is figma, Adobe XD for UI/UX, Adobe illustrator, Photoshop, Corel draw for graphics design, Maya, blender, cinema 4d etc for 3d designs, premier Pro, davinci resolve etc for video editing.

Well UI/UX might be the strange one in the list it is mainly for prototyping in English it's like a design of how the website or software will behave and look like before development (programming) begins....
developer skills
content writing skills
digital marketing skills
project management skills
data scientist and data analytic skills
architectural designer
I'll complete the remaining stack the moment I see many persons are interested in it.
We'd talk about where you can earn money after learning these skills as well as how to become a wanted person in the market as soon as your account is created and how to create awareness of your skills as well as where you can pitch your skills.... Lastly I'll send links to where you can download materials to kick start your journey...

This is so interesting.

I love this. Thanks for this info.



I'm anticipating the rest.

God1000:
I'm completely fed up with my neighbour that sees my munificence/beneficence as stupidity.

He screwed himself up due to his improvidence and gallivanting lifestyle, he's a pain in my neck right now.

He's married, his wife has been sharing my cooking gas with me for over three months now since his own was taken away as sequestration.

I'm a salary earner, he's a bike rider, but due to his unseriousness he doesn't have his own bike, dude is a drifter.

I'm thinking of leaving the place because this whole thing is insufferable, his wife isn't helping as well, maybe due to immaturity, all she does is cook, eat and play.
Frugality is one of my 2022 new year resolutions, I don't want anything or anyone to interfere with my life next year.

We both agreed to fill the gas together, but he doesn't contribute much, I end up spending twice than the usual amount before.

These people have benefited so much from me because they know I'm a cheerful giver, they collect almost everything from me including money, I really don't want spongers in my life next year.

I've advised him countless times to look for another alternative, but he's hard of hearing with his lackadaisical altitude.

My biggest concern right now is how to withdraw myself completely without causing enmity between us because we're really close, yesterday I put my cooking gas inside before going to work against the usual act of giving them everyday when I'm leaving for work. None of this shit will happen if I'm married, but I'm single.

Does withdrawing myself from them make me a bad person? This is a serious dilemma, I'm at my wit's end.

The only way out is to plan your move to another area.

Then don't repeat this mistake over there.

Let me burst your bubble:

You may think you're a good guy.


But they see you as a fool.

I have seen Nigerian people sending a nearly 40 year old man to buy okro for them. It's not because he's nice, it's because he's been turned into the area idiot.


Let me burst the second bubble for you:


That man will remain poor until he delivers himself, same for the foolish wife (I called her foolish because she refused to inspire dignity in her husband, hence she'll stay poor with him). In other words, they are irredeemable so stop talking to them.

Emancipate yourself today.

AquaPetals:
This is a situation currently in ground concerning our compound manager and his wife.
Our compound manager is 50 year old Aminu who lives in the security house with his wife and 10 year old daughter. He also has an adult son from another woman, but they stay up North.
I was woken up this morning by a piercing cry from both mother and daughter. Apparently, she had been in a fight with her husband and I heard him saying she should pack out of his life making a resolve to marry another wife. And what was the issue? Aminu had been trying for years to have another child but all to no avail. By a twist of events, he just discovered that his wife had been the culprit all along. Any time she conceives, she would drink a herbal concussion to flush out the pregnancy. Her defence: she doesn't want to bring another child into this world to suffer because they struggle to feed and make ends meet in their home. But Aminu was adamant that he needs another child because he enjoys watching kids play together. He is currently planning to visit another Muslim family for marriage introduction.
I have tried to settle this matter but I can't. Because truth be told, they actually struggle to make ends meet. I have even paid his daughter school fees on 2 occasions because she dropped out of school.

Make a lazy man comfortable and he will add more burden on you.



It's because he's not paying for house rent.

pansophist:
Yes, but in a general scale, women have an unrealistic expectations than men, just as women cry more than men. You're welcome.

You're a pseudo-redpiller.



Let's not argue.



Presently I don't care about any movement, either for male or female.



I only want to listen to more mature people right now.

freddie009:
Most men are realistic. Women are carried away by what they see on movies and social media, unknown to them these things are scripted.

You're not ready for solutions.


Lemme know when you're ready.

pansophist:
If people accept others imperfection the way they want others to accept theirs, then there should be no issue. But humans by default, are very hard on others, while being easy on themselves. They have build up fantasies in their head about what someone should be, when they themselves can't even measure up to their own standards.

And this is very common with women. Many women don't live in the real world. They are physically with you in this world, but their mental reality is totally different. And because of these , many of them suffers. Because when your mental configurations doesn't match with the reality, it's a different kind of pain.

You're almost correct except that both gender has unrealistic expectations.

nwekeugochukwu:
Precious Chikwendu: 'I Am Grateful For Being Single; Femi Fani-Kayode Is A Narcissist'

Femi Fani-Kayode's ex-wife, Precious Chikwendu has advised single ladies not rush into a relationship to avoid making the wrong choice, IgbereTV reports.

Chikwendu referred to her ex-husband, Femi Fani-Kayode as a narcissist and stated that it is better to be single than to be with such a man.

Her Instagram post reads;


https://www.instagram.com/p/CYE2c6us8dA/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

https://igberetvnews.com/1410703/precious-chikwendu-grateful-single-femi-fani-kayode-narcissist/

After spending his money, this is what she will say?


What nonsense!

Amotolongbo:
You people won’t just take away feminine sentiment.

Just tell me one person Tonto Dikeh has succeeded in having a permanent relationship with.

So the same Tonto Dikeh that can’t work out with herself is the same woman that can work out something with another person?

Every human deserves to love and be loved.



She didn't steal your goat.


Leave her alone.

Amotolongbo:
It is always so hard getting over a lost gem.
Most especially when one sees another person enjoying the lost gem.

Worst still, being happy one has found a better replacement for the lost gem and eventually finding out the replacement is fake, useless and can’t be kept cos it drains and much of a nuisance

Her ex husband is not a gem.


If he were, things would have worked out between them. Tonto Dike is not my favorite person but the ex also had his own flaws too.


Now, the reason why she will still remember him is most likely because of the child between them, every trait that the child inherited from his dad will easily remind her.

Though she can still move on but it will simply take a little longer.

She'll be fine though, only a matter of time.

AmazonTopaz:
LMAO

Shebi I created a thread to address this https://www.nairaland.com/6777828/why-men-outraged-over-paternity

That when men don't call themselves to order and be faithful they will spread their tentacles everywhere men should call themselves to order and stop causing HBP on their fellow men by forcing them to father other men's children.

Stay chaste and faithful dear men and paternity fraud will be a thing of the past

You made very interesting points on your thread.

I hope many people will overcome their agitations to learn to do the right thing.


Sexual promiscuity only comes back to bite the butt.

SankaraSo:
Paternity fraud by Nigerian women is so alarming.

It has become such a serious issue.

My advice to men is - MARRY YOUNG VIRGINS.

And during the marriage nake sure to always be in charge.

And by the time the women turn 50 they will pay you back.

When do you want to be wise?



Demography is not character
Docility is not kindness
Don't worry, we're here on Nairaland waiting for your complaints.

AmericanDad:
My lover got pregnant and I told her to keep the baby that I will see her parents to do the needful. We were not really dating. We were just office sweet hearts turned relationship. We both earn good and live well.

Right now i feel like it's because she got pregnant that's why i want to marry her because truly if not for the baby we are expecting I wouldn't have even thought of proposing. Now I'm having a second thought cos I feel like I'm being pressurized to marry her.... The truth is that I dont really love her to the extent of marrying her...

Iv seen her parents and given them a drink that I will come with my parents mayb January or Febuary for introduction( they dont know she's pregnant) I have actually bought the proposal ring but my mind is still not convinced. Iv taken her to meet my parents and family they said shes ok but also complained of her height that shes too short/small

Note: She is a nice girl and homely but she is really small in stature and it's really giving me concern..That not who I see as an ideal wife I need someone that I would be proud of and not be uncomfortable to introduce as my wife.

I spoke to her last night that we need to slow down on wedding plans that I'm not really ready for the marriage. Now shes been crying and crying and refusing to eat. I really dont want to marry because of pity..I just want her to keep the baby then I take care of them both till I'm convinced.

Note: I have been married before and it ended after 1year of problems and wahala. My Ex wife couldn't conceive and she even blamed me and told her family that I'm impotent .now I'm really scared of marriage cos I really saw hell in my previous. My babe is now threatening that she may remove the baby cos she cant stand the shame of carrying the pregnancy. She is about almost 3months pregnant. She is 28 and I'm 33. Thanks

Sorry for the typo guys...pls matured advice pls.

Cc: lalasticlala

I wonder what those ladies see in your type.

Perfect outside but rotten in the soul.


Money is not what makes you a good man. Character is important too.


Taking care of your family and friends is not good character, even animals do it.


Call that lady, sit her down and tell her she's too short for you. Let her make an informed decision if she wants a vain man like you for a husband or keep those character traits in her lineage.

I wish I could talk some sense into the lady myself.


P. S. I'm actually pissed and you can see it in my choice of words.

donleo92:
Am going to cut this story really short.
Am the only child of my dad, all though he is not married to my mum and he lost his wife last three years without having a child from her. to cut the story short I don't follow with him like our spirit don't align at all. maybe its cos of the fact that he is not married to my mum? maybe I can't tell.. and moreover he tells me he can't marry my mum. and the mummy she is talking about self has already moved on in her life

Your dad never had a father figure in his life, so, he doesn't know how to be a father.

Just do your bit for him as a son but try not to end up like him.

Zico5:
It is still a mystery why male actors can't even boast of the least of cars but female counterparts are building houses, buy exotic cars. I still wonder who are the people financing these especially in this harsh economy.

Very simple.

Check out gistlover11 on Instagram

Matters arising

Favfables1:
Then let the right thing be done

Funny you.

Susily:
It's his business till he confirms the baby is not his

Oya follow him to the lady's house, let's see if they will not bathe you in
pepper-water.

BestRicePlug28:
As a woman if u are happy a man divorced his wife to marry u and u feel it's going to be happily ever after just wait. It's either u can tolerate what the other woman endured before she left or u follow her to the left.

Dear woman, wetin man show the first woman e go show u too, learn o! Know the reason for a separation before u over spread body for people eyes as the perfect one because wetin mouth chop naim throat go collect.

Realest words for single ladies.


Loud it.

T0T0fucker:
so even though the baby is mine, I should let it be?

is that what you saying to me?


I should just let my blood go like that. ( I don't give a hoot about her)

it's the baby I want to know if it's mine or not.

She is the one who got pregnant, and she's the one who decided to keep it.



It's no longer any of your business.

Favfables1:
Doesn't he have the right to know whether or not the child is his own??

Ideally, he has the right, but to be realistic, he'll get little from this latest venture.

T0T0fucker:
we bargained the first night.


the following months she lived with me, they wasn't any price tagged.

Like you said, she started acting like girlfriend but you handled her.


Now she has been discharged,
let her be.

T0T0fucker:
good morning all,
I really do need your mature opinions on this issue, I'm a young man in my early 30s. due to my personality am the kind of guy that flex alot. night life parties, clubbing and the rest.sometime last year I happened to be at the club, just like any other day..I took a girl home. (one night stand) we had sex and in the morning she left after I sorted her out.

she took my number though and from there we started chatting, due to how we clicked easily.. just like every other guy..I decided turn her to a friend with benefits...from friend with benefits....she started acting all up like a girlfriend. (coming to my house to pass the night and she can decide to leave whenever she wants) during this period, we had consexual sex raw because I was beginning to trust her a little.... that she wasn't really that bad.

fast forward to the ending February this year, one issue led to another...and she stopped coming to my house...though we still talked sometimes on phone... later I got to know she got hooked with one rich yahoo boy.

next thing I saw on her whatsapp status was her traditional introduction rights, inviting her friends and well wishers, I congratulated her and moved on. after some time I saw her upload a pics of her baby bump.

na wa o, na so it dey quick, fast forward to yesterday evening she just put to birth... which she also sent on her whatsapp status. retweeting her friends who congratulated her on her status.

now, I haven't congratulated her yet, this has got me worried.. thinking.... "WHAT IF THIS CHILD IS MINE" I have every reason to believe it's mine.

1) calculating the month we broke up and had sex last to this December she gave birth is like few days pass 9 months.

2) the way she acted on the issue that made her stop coming to my place again... showed she already had this planned out (picked the yahoo boy over me)


3) the baby she uploaded is quite fair, and I also am fair in complexion. (her man is black)

with this I have every reason to believe that child might be mine.... but am really confused don't know what to do... have been thinking ever since yesterday night.


can I fight this now or I should wait till the baby is grown?


moving on when I know I have a child somewhere, my offsprings is not an option.. because I feel scammed already.


lalasticlala
Seun
justwise

Your bargain with the lady does not include babies.

Face front.

Saturn444:
Na aha Hahahahaha.

There is always that dark side that is intelligently managed to scare your little demonic sides when your ignorance is birthed.

I did that on purpose to wake you up from foolishness.

How can you assume that you are just bodies made in Eden. I have not ever assumed I am my body.

I am spirit using body as vehicle. The fact that you think you began at Eden and end 6ft in your cemetery means you are very ignorant of your base reality.

Learn to meditate and step outside your physical bodies and understand what you are, and you will stop this foolishness.

I cannot follow you on your journey to the lake of fire. You know your destiny is unending torment.

No insult intended.