₦airaland Forum

safarigirl:
You people will one day know the difference between racism and ethnocentrism.

One is an unreasonable hate for another group

The other is love for your own people over others.

Racism is bad. Ethnocentrism is good.

The Japanese for instance, are ethnocentric, they are not racist.

Not everything is racist, and wanting people who look like you to get their well deserved accolades, can NEVER be racism

Hi Dear!

You probably meant patriotism? I'm asking cause what you defined is not really enthnocentrism.

Ethnocentrism is using your own culture/way of life as the standard to evaluate or judge other people's lifestyle. It is the assumption that your own way of life is the natural or correct one. It is a form of ethnic bias.

According to Oxford bibliographies, ethnocentrism is a term applied to the cultural or ethnic bias—whether conscious or unconscious—in which an individual views the world from the perspective of his or her own group, establishing the in-group as archetypal and rating all other groups with reference to this ideal.

chatinent:
2. Like earlier mentioned, I was the connector. One day, I really didn't know what happened to the compound light. Of course, I only do electronics...I don't touch electric..but Mr Base-K (as we called him) said I could be the one who disconnected the wire and cut it cos he saw me there.

You know there is an allegation that could tear your soul? The type that makes tears flow freely? That was it. I didn't even go near the wire! But I was flogged like hell. Normal normal, my dad don already dey find reason to flog..so it came on a platter.

I swore then to kill Base-K. I hated him with so much passion. It was until about five years later in school when I reunited with my friend from the compound that I came to understand it was his dad who cut the wire to help elongate his gen wire. How that part of their discussion fitted the scene of what happened that day was perfect cos it so dotted the lines. I remembered I saw the dad with a gen switch! I felt I had to vindicate myself and hurried back home with the news only for my dad to be like “is it because of an old event that happened that I can't even remember you called me?”

Sorry, man.

Lol... nice thread. Nothing much to say here. Op, I feel your pains. There's some kind of tension between y'all and your brother's wife. There is nothing like jazz here. Your brother loves his wife and your goal is not to change that. For his sake and that of his children, you don't want to cause any issues for the couple especially if he is happy. But then again, you don't want to be enemies with your sister-in-law. I believe you can be friendly with her without necessarily being friends with her. Friendship is not forced.

The truth is, she's not just being rude to you and your family but also to people around her. So it's more about her than about you. Yet, your brother chose her to be his one and only. There's little you can do at this point. In-laws are forced family members. Sometimes, we're lucky to get those we like, but in many cases, we compromise (just the way we gradually do with our annoying siblings over the years). We learn thier boundaries and let them learn ours. Like someone suggested, start all over with her. Get close to her one step at a time. Stop at the point where she's about to display those traits that encroach into your own boundaries. You'd be surprised just how your own warm approach could melt hers. But even if just sending her season's greetings is the furthest you can go, stop there and remain friendly with her.

Greetings to the two users above helping us put the subject into perspective, pocohantas and Kobojunkie. You guys rock!

Lol... I don't understand. Why is farm work in Agricultural Science something to lament about? Isn't that the exciting practical part every student should be looking forward to? Would a med lab student reject his course cause of lab work?

More power to our Agric students. You guys rock!

You and I can win 20k*

iezeiyida:
Even with food in your mouth, you can talk when something important necessitiates you talk

Of course, your mouth is never padlocked.

These things are just etiquette rules and one can't argue against thier validity on the bases of the fact that there are exceptions cause, quite frankly, there are exceptions to virtually everything and if we focus on those possible exceptions, then they'd be no rule. Kids should respect thier parents is not an invalid advice simply because we know there are situations where the parents are wrong. Talking with food in your mouth is not ideal. That's the point here. A kid who doesn't say anything when a deadly animal is about to attack his uncle just because they're scared of thier parents' reaction has a problem, and the problem is not the rule itself but the parenting style; the fear factor.

If people don't talk while eating, what's then the point of dining together? I think your people meant to say you shouldn't talk with food in your mouth.

MrBrownJay1:
she should instead go and congratulate/praise the DOCTOR who put her on FERTILITY TREATMENT, yeah

Hhmm... I'm sure she has already thanked them for thier services, bro. If she also wants to thank her God, it shouldn't be a problem. Do you, I do me; that's the secret of peaceful coexistence. Constantly calling out religious people is neither atheism nor agnosticism. It's just anti-religion/intolerance. And that's not really different from the bigotry most religious people are known for.

Happy new year!

VEXT:
Go online and ask what attract men to prostitutes,then act like one to your man..Be his prostitute..


You also have what those prostitutes have...

Here lies the problem. A man is misbehaving, the woman is asked to change. Terrible. Why not marry a prostitute if they make you happy? Why turn an innocent woman into pretending to be someone else? Did he not see her before getting married to her? Were there no prostitutes in the streets at that time? A woman is not an app you configure to meet your promiscuous lifestyle. The man has a problem. You know this. Instead of asking him to seek help, you'd rather drag the woman into his mess too. Sexism makes people sound foolish.

OP, you probably love your man, but I suggest you send him away for a while. Let him know you have it you to take action. Let him know what he stands to lose if he continues this way. You're in Canada for goodness sake.

Exceed15:
Ehn to avoid All these.. don't bring her over

Lol... you know this is an old post, bro?

Well, your conclusion is not invalid. I see why you'd say that. But how does that really help anyone? If you don't bring your wife over, you'd still be doing your cooking, laundry, etc., without the comfort of a family (and according to most Nigerians I know, the western world is boring without a family). And a man who already doesn't have any problem doing those things normally wouldn't have an issue bringing someone over to share them with him. The men who complain are those who see all these as things only the women as meant to do. The issue is that these men bring their wives over with certain expectations. A man would see another man cleaning and say, "go and marry and stop all these nah". It's almost as if they see getting married as a way of escaping all home chores. When the woman then comes over and can't meet those expectations, issues set in. And these same men can't get married to white women cause they'd still have to share those tasks with them (don't mind those guys shouting "white women are the best". They are just fantasizing, lol).

Anyway, things are changing. The immigration system in most countries now favours academic competence/skill over money (either through education or the skilled worker program). For the education route, many men are now using their wives as primary applicants and then joining them later. This way, the man can start working on arrival while the woman is still in school. For the skilled worker program, anyone with more years of formal working experience and/or academic qualifications can be filed as the primary applicant and the other person's qualifications can be used to get more points. The beauty of these approaches is that nobody would feel they brought the other abroad and therefore entitled.

Happy new year, friend. May this year bring you closer to your dreams!

A community zoo, that's thoughtful.

Nice work, OP. Wishing you more clients in 2022.

faceland:
He might be innocent but I have no pity for someone spending 200k on a damn phone. It is better to pay double for am excellent computer.

Hhmm... That's your preference. If he's really innocent, his choice of phone shouldn't be enough reason not to have pity. We all have something we don't really mind spending on.

hekola:
which respect?is not human i don't get..do you know how old iam? What if iam her husband?

Lol... so you only respect those older than you?

Lol... I'm not big on football, but out of curiosity, why do people call out this tournament for having less number of goals when compared to others? Doesn't that mean that the teams are fairly equal (either generally good, generally average or generally bad)? Would it really have been more interesting if we had matches with predictable outcomes where some teams just keep dishing out goals? I actually don't see the fun in that.

We may not like the way these guys play but I don't think the number of goals is the correct yardstick to express that distaste; there are other factors. I'm almost certain if African matches had scores like 6-0, 5-0 7-1, etc. while European matches had 1-1, 2-1, 1-0, etc., people would still be calling out Africa for having boring predictable matches where goals no longer have value.

Boring tournament, maybe. But certainly not because of the number of goals.

Funkymode:
It's not Almond abeg

But I never said it was almond. It's tropical almond. That's different from almond just like grapefruit is different from grape, pineapple different from apple and watermelon different from melon. It's just the name but it's not really almond.

Lol... Enough with the mischief, bro. He wasn't supposed to have any non official time cause of his position as the PM? Showing the 'human' side of him actually makes him more 'appealing' to his people. It would have been "bizarre" if this was during the lock-down, but the video was taken a long time ago when he was the mayor of London and the lady in the video was the chair of London Assembly then. It was a social occasion and he was doing what normal people do during such occasions.

blaquebelle:
Almond
And people import almond products, milk and the likes when we have it surplus over here

blaquebelle:
Are you referring to the nut gotten from the seed?
Anyway they are of different species, the ones originating from Iran and the tropical ones in Jamaica and Sub Saharan Africa

This is tropical almond. It's actually different from almond which is the source of the imported milk and seed. It's not even a specie of almond. This one probably got its name from the shape. Fruit names can be misleading sometimes.

Cc: Omicron007

Tropical almond.

Korede

skywalker240:
Silly tech illiterates would rather buy Phantom X even if this phone was sold below 100k

I don't really know why many people on this section feel the need to call out others with different specs. People buy phones that appeal to them. Nobody is better than others for their choice of phones. Just get the one that works for you and let others buy whatever works for them.

Oh... I'd totally forgotten about the ban.

Nice one, OP. But I do not really completely agree with the writer.

Nobody invented algorithm. Algorithm is not a formula or a principle or a law or anything like that. It's just a series of step required to solve just about any problem. The steps depend on the problem being solved. And humans have always solved thier problems in steps (in fact, we as individuals create and use algorithms everyday e.g. cooking steps). So the concept of algorithm has always been there since the ancient past (before the middle ages) and it's practically impossible to say who started it. Computer science/Mathematics only formalized it by penning down some known steps to solve basic mathematicsal problems like division, etc. so that they can easily be reused.

Yes, the name is derived from the name of the mathematician Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi primarily cause of his contributions to the numeral system in his manuscript informally known as 'Thus spake Al-Khwarizmi' ('Al-Khwarizmi' would later become 'Algorizmi' in the Latin translation) which he wrote before The Algebra. But he did not really "invent" algorithm, he merely presented his solutions in steps. In fact, Alan Turing's Turing machines of 1936 did more in terms of formalizing what we know as algorithm today.

So while it might be correct to attribute the term to him or even call him the father of algorithm, I don't think the word "invent" is adequate in this context.

Kaysalas:
Salut, je voudrais parler français avec vous de temps en temps.
J'ai besoin d'améliorer mon français.
C'est possible ?

Hi there!

So sorry, bro. This might not be possible. Anonymity is really very important to me on this platform. I do hope you understand.

Your French is great by the way. Just try not to get banned. Etrange tried to write in French here and got banned.

Ok.
Where do I begin?

Firstly, your first paragraph doesn't really portray what you do. It should be in this case, rather than saying BLM, you say "Whites are racist", which is racism itself. This is also why I said you're equally yoked with the redpillers—sexism displayed by both parties.

One more thing from the first paragraph. It's not that men are privileged in our culture, it's that the burdens they encounter is mostly ignored. Women too have a lot of privileges established by the same culture which many times we fail to acknowledge. But that is a discussion for another day.

Now, unto why men are praised for philandering around. I fervently believe that men and women should maintain chastity till marriage, but that doesn't mean that I do not understand the psychology behind it.

You have to first understand that men and women are not the same. If you don't, you will always be confused about situations like this one. Note that I said the "same" and not "equal".

Across many species in the animal kingdom, the male is charged with wining the female over. From the chest-beating of the gorilla to the dance of the peacock and other birds, all these are done to impress the female species. The female species of these animals are very selective. They choose the strongest lion. The bird with the most beautiful and brightest feathers. This is to ensure that only the best kind of genes are passed on. In some cases, only one male gets to mate with all the females. Just as we can find only one lion in a pride of lions.

Now relating it to humans. Our women are equally selective, whether consciously or unconsciously, they look out for the charisma, intelligence, wealth, strength etc of their male counterparts. Whomever displays some of these attributes to a worthy degree has access to them. Therefore, men who get to sleep around with a lot of women are what they call "High-value men" because they surely have to display some of these attributes in excess. Those attributes that they implicitly state when they talk about their escapades is what is worthy of praise. A low value man CAN NOT find a partner.

On the other hand, "high value women" are women who are extremely desirable (not just physically) yet are still extremely hard to reach. A woman who is easily accessible on the other hand is a low level woman. This categorization is not due to cultural outlook but in fact, due to the way both parties are hard wired. The above are not my theories but well established scientific facts by psychologists. If you're chanced you can read up on some of the works of Sigmund Freud or listen to some lectures of Jordan Peterson, both are renowned psychologist. You might find it difficult to understand if you believe men and women are exactly the same and should be exactly the same in every context and situation.

Look at it this way. If there's a notorious robber who consistently scales the security of top banks, beating whatever encryption system have in place and bypassing the guards, whether or not what he's doing is a terrible thing, you can not divorce the fact that the robber must be extremely clever and smart.

Overlay this explanation to the Davido issue. He would continue to be praised because he has continued to show these attributes. In all honesty, what should confound you more is not why he is praised but why many women are willing to give themselves to him regardless of his history of babymamaism. If you can answer that, then you can surely understand why some people might insult these women. I am not a follower of celebrity news so I can't explain further why they do this beyond what I've said.

Regardless, MEN and WOMEN who sleep around do not get the best out of life. It always leads to their undoing. I'm not saying this in the sense of one cosmic or spiritual repercussion but that it is also psychologically damaging. This too is established in the books of those I mentioned earlier. So I hope you understand that neither I nor the speakers are giving a free pass for men to philander about.

About the Nairaland thread you mentioned. I have been visiting Nairaland for about a decade and I only found out about the existence of such a thread about a year ago. So in my opinion, it's pretty well hidden. Reddit has dedicated pages worse than that. Heck, even quora allows explicit images. So 'younger' ones who find the thread must have been looking for it which they could also find on any other part of the internet.

One thing you're also forgetting is that Nairaland is an anonymous forum. So frequent visitors and active posters on such thread are not (entirely) shameless. This is because they can not say this on Facebook. They can not be associated with it on LinkedIn. They can not talk about it on their WhatsApp status and they surely can not mention it in public. So you see, society doesn't condone it as you've said but they are only afforded it due to Nairaland's anonymity.

Prostitutes don't need to come to Nairaland to say this. They are many abound Instagram that are well known for the business they do with the picture of their faces for the whole world to see. I've also stumbled upon one here on Nairaland. Yet these people exist in the same society that you claim is hard on them.

Do have a nice day.

@Tadeknkeepcalm

_{Regarding your first paragraph, I think I'm done trying to convince you I have nothing against my gender. The mere fact that I am a man should be enough to let anyone know I don’t believe all men are sexists. If you must continue in that direction, you will have to start quoting some of my comments to support this your claim. Otherwise, we would be running in circles.}

There is a gender bias, and everything you wrote only goes to emphasize that bias (with reasons, of course). So it is safe to say we both agree on this bit. However, what I blame for this bias is society while you have accepted it as natural. You said the burden on the shoulders of men is ignored and I ask, who ignores this burden and why? I will answer you, it is society. And society ignores this burden because men as perceived as superior. This circles back to the need to eliminate gender bias. We need to understand that eliminating gender bias is not against men. While feminism might better a woman’s sense of self, it also reduces the burden on men.

I have heard the animal analogy a million times, and I have come to learn that it is an analogy we marshal out when it fits. Otherwise, we say “are we animals?”. First, I have never suggested that men and women are the same. However, the difference you highlighted is not a biological or natural factor but rather a social norm, and that is my point. For a couple of reasons, I believe the animal kingdom analogy does not do justice to your argument. First, there are also many known species of animals that have females as the dominant gender/leaders, but this does not apply to humans. Second, there are unpopular human societies where women go after and marry more than one husband, and an intrinsic behavioral difference should not change with time or region (except in the case of evolution). Morality is a purely a human thing. Animals don't have the institutions we have.

The point here is that the whole concept of what makes a gender "high-value" is a societal construct and not innate. If women were as rich as men, for example, rich men wouldn't be "high-value". Therefore, women seeking only rich men to marry or men sleeping around with women while still shaming them are societal norms that can and should be changed. Regardless of how long this has been the case, it is not ideal and we definitely shouldn’t live with it simply because that has always been the case. What constitutes a "high-value" man or women is subject to change. Consider this for a second; if it’s natural to treat men’s promiscuity with kid gloves, shouldn’t that imply that women seeking only rich men and refusing to work hard for themselves should also be a non-issue since that is what women are naturally expected to do? So why do the majority of Nairaland men complain from morning till evening about Nigerian women not bringing anything to the table? Are they not supposed to be just beautiful just like their counterparts in the forest? Why do these men accept their own as nature but whine all day about women? Well, they do so because they want a change. They are willing to add other things to what makes a "high-value" woman. I want the same change, I just have a more holistic perspective. We need to also review what makes a "high-value" man. I love to fact that you gave reasons for the bias, and I agree with you on most of them. However, while your "high value" theory might be valid, unlike you, I just don't think it should be left to nature. Women wouldn't be where they are today if such things were just left to nature.

Regarding the NL thread, Nairaland is structured in such a way that anyone can see new comments on the “Recents” page, so one does not have to be looking for it to find it. I was not looking for it. The other sites you mentioned don’t work this way (and whether they do or not does not make any difference since this is not about NL). Even if the thread is hidden, the grand point is that it exists proudly. We have both male and female sex workers on IG. They are patronized by both men and women. So if the so-called anonymous forum only has a thread specifically for men discussing their sexual adventures, it should account for something. I only mentioned the thread to exemplify the liberty enjoyed by us. This liberty is indisputable. So even if you believe the thread example is not a good one, your post shows that you at least acknowledge this laissez-faire.

I said society is biased. And you did a good job making that even clearer. The only difference between us is that you have accepted this gender bias as natural while I believe it can and should be changed. And I certainly know it can be ameliorated cause even within the human species, some societies are more biased than others. This difference implies a change is possible, and we can achieve it by calling people’s attention to it on platforms like this just like I do. Offering reasons like your natural theory only suggests you are willing to live with it, and while that's not surprising coming from a man, it would have been a bit easier to consider if the men on here weren't constantly complaining about women who are only interested in being beautiful. We simply can't have it all.

_{Sorry for that late reply. With my new position at work, I might not be as active as I used to be on here. Happy new year!}

Jakumo:
I sure do my brethren. No umbrage taken, and by the way you write with the fluid prose of an attorney, if I may say so.

Hehe... I'm not an attorney. Thank for the compliment, and do have yourself lovely day.

ModelLook:
GIFT

Nice name.

ModelLook:
I like this boy solely becaue of his name BELLA. A guy bearing BELLA is unique and different and I like it. Reminds me of my own name.

What's your name?

OP, no need to keep lying or pretending, it only gives him hope. Tell him you are not gay and, therefore, cannot enjoy any form of intimacy with a fellow man and you're not willing to do his bidding even for money. Say this firmly. He will have no choice but to leave you alone.

You shouldn't be calling such a person a helper. Even if you were gay or a lady, exploiting people's financial situation is simply inhumane. Are you the most handsome man in the city? There are many gay people out there, why you? Anyone that knows me knows I'm not homophobic. I know some guys get down with gay men for money and I couldn't care less. But taking advantage of someone's life situation is mean, gay or not.

fati2001:
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
WHY TELLING ME?

Lol... she posted it on her account for her fans who are following her cause they care to read what she's sharing. People go on FB, Twitter, etc. to share what's happening in thier lives. The lady just did same. People say "must everything be online?!" not because these celebrities actually post more than everyone else but primarily because thier own posts are more likely to be seen by more people given their celebrity status. The Internet is for everyone. You pick what you want and move on.

Lol... the emphasis on the small body. She's probably just keying into the event to get more followers, but it's still cool how she conveyed her message; you'd get the crux while still laughing.

Did those guys actually steal his sunglasses?

Any video link, please?