dboY1123: Well, I had a post here about the girl that lost her phone after leaving my house(we had nothing together that time). I suggested EasyBuy(pay in instalment), so I added 10k to her 10k and She'll pay the remaining in instalment.. She works in lagos(teaching) and since then, I couldn't believe she was already talking to her ex back(she didn't accept we date, so we weren't). While she asks me for small small money, and making me believe she had no one.. 3weeks later, she decided to come visiting and she slept over at my place, that was how I saw all her chat with her ex and this recent guy..of course she knew I was checking her chat and she couldn't say anything and she left in shame because I just left her alone.. She was now begging on phone that the guy was her ex and she had nothing to do with him.. That she loves and it was just chat..that she will block him right away.. Since then she told me that we should date.. And we've been dating.. The problem is, since we've been dating like three weeks now, she often demands money from me, though small change like 2k,3k.. But it is becoming often..and I was beginning to feel like maybe her love isn't genuine although she tells me what she needs it for but I'm feeling somehow and ain't comfortable with her ever time demands for money.. Should I leave her or it is just normal for girls?
Investor!!! I can guess you are not the only investor in the life of that lady. Keep investing. The investment will yield returns soon.
Elianawalker: How To Know If He Truly Loves You or Just After Sex
There are various smart ways to tell if a man truly loves you or he is just attracted to your body
1. Ask him why or what he loves about you: When you ask a man this simple question and you start hearing things like “I love your smile”, “I love you shape” or “your this and that”, “I love the way you bla bla bla”, that love is already attached to weak point, there are high chances he would leave if you lose those features or he stops getting those things he likes. A man’s true love is unconditional and without holdable reasons.
2. Watch how often he talks about your progress together: A man who loves you for real wants to talk about success, financial and physical success with you, he wants to talk about you guys going out of your box and out of your world to reach great heights.
3. What does he want most whenever he is around you: When he is around you and all that goes on in his head is sex upon sex, then its lust not love. Its your choice to stay or leave, if you feel you are having fun and are satisfied then feel free to stay. If every or most conversations you have is always leading to sex or flirt then he just wants to bang you for a while and move
4. Who are the people he introduced you to: If he hasn’t introduced you to his best friends or maybe one or two persons in his family then he probably is just out for the sex thing only. He is probably not interested in meeting your family too because he wants to keep the distance
5. His compliments are focused mostly on outward appearance: Its lovely when your man makes you feel good about yourself but when all the time its just compliments on your physical appearances then he is out for sex only.
6. When the sex is all about him: He just wants to take his clothes off, then just have sex, he doesn’t care about fore play, he doesn’t care about romance or exciting you with fore play.
Story story...a skilled player will meet all these conditions. The only way to know if a man is gunning for sex alone is to: CLOSE YOUR LEGS UNTIL YOU ARE WEDDED! The guy will try all the tricks in the book until konji disorganizes his head and the only sane decision will be to move on. CLOSE YOUR LEGS or else one deek at a time you will eventually become a basket...leaking crap everywhere!
Win111: Good morning everyone, I seriously need your advice on the decision am about to make. Firstly I and my baby mama were in love for years right from when we were teenagers, it's over 9(nine) years now that I and my baby have been together and we were planning to marry ourselves but there is this red flag I used to see in her. In 2012 I went to Lagos for 3 months jamb tutorial before I came back my baby mama have been following another guy, when I came back I confronted her and she told me that she thought I was going to leave her that's why she followed another guy but I decided to forgive her and she promise me she won't go to that guy again but to my greatest surprised she kept on going back to that guy and anytime I confronted her she will deny it and also apart from that guy she also has another guys she fell in love with when they were still in secondary School, my fellow nairalander did you know that up till now my baby mama is still dating this particular guy after almost 10 years she has been with me and I always do everything she needs for her, I always stood by her whenever my family wants to attack her because my family were aware that she is dating another guy because we are from the same village and also my friends were aware of the situation, in short nearly everyone in my village know that she was dating this guy, I login her face book account on my phone because I knew her password and ever since then I use to see her chat with everyone on messenger, the one that broke my heart is when I saw her chat with one of her ex, the guy is begging her to come to Benin so they can have nice time but she told told the guy to come to our state because she can't leave our little baby behind, I confronted and I told her that am going to inform her family but she begged and I forget everything but I told her that am not going to marry her again because she is a disgrace to her family, because of her I can't go to our village again because it's a shame to me that my wife to be is following another man and nearly everyone in the village is aware of it. The main issue now is that her younger sister is everything a man need in a woman, she has good behavior, she doesn't follow guys around infact they told me she does not have boyfriend in our home town because she is a good Christian and the one that impress me the most is that she is academically sound she does not joke with her studies at all. Everyone in our village always talk good about her. The problem now is that I love the younger sister but I don't know how to go about it, should I go and meet their family and tell them that I love the girl or I should move on and if I go ahead and meet their family will they accept me and does it even make sense If I marry her, what did you think people would be saying and will it affect affect my little baby from her elder sister. Please elders in the house help me out. Mod please help me move it to front page
Let her remain the woman in your dreams ehn! You still dey write jamb you don already get baby mama. You nor get bearing. So you want to sleep with two sisters, abi? Small time their mama go get good character for ya eyes and you go come back nairaland to ask about how you can go about it. Oga leave that family, face your journey to financial and spiritual independence, court your fiance well and know her well before plunging into her hole.
jojo2023: Dear ....., Please Let's Advise this Woman...
Pls ma kindly hide my identity. My Marriage with my husband is just 1 Month and a week Old. There is this money I have in my Acct, it is my life Savings about N1.7 million...I kept this money in a Fixed Deposit Acct since 2017....and unknowingly to me my husband saw the alert on my Phone and that was the beginning of issues in this 1 month Marriage.
Before then I have told him that I want to add a new business Line to my Old business to enable me get money from both sides...Over since 3weeks he has been given me attitude, not talking or eating together with me anymore.. If we are Sleeping on the bed together he will turn his Head down ward to the Opposite direction i.e if my head is on the Pillow he will Put his own head near my feet @ the end of the Bed....
I have begged him to tell me my offence, he said nothing, that I didn't wrong him. I asked what is the problem, he refused to speak until yesterday night when I reported him to his Best friendship and what he said was a shock to my life......
You married a kid. Sorry ehn. You nor carry eye go market at all. You married an overgrown toddler. Ngwanu help your mother in law retrain your husband, teach him what it means to be responsible and if he wants control he should be ready to pay the price.
GraphicsMaster1: Which kind of wicked human beings are above me sef!
For Christ sake, The terrorist brainwashed child was just 11 years old!!!!
Hi father and family killed him long before the NAF strike. If you train an 11 year old to use a rifle and kill others you also just prepard that child to be a target for execution in the theatre of war. In war there are no children, women or pacifists, there are only friends or foes.
seunsiju: Even though she always warn me to be using condom, but i like it raw and sweet, couple of weeks ago, she is feeling sick and tired, and i sent her money for checkup, the news break my heart, the test shows she is three weeks pregnant! i want to denied the pregnancy based on say i read her chats on Whatsapp cheating and having sex with another guy, but deep down i know i responsible for this cos the date tally with the time we had last sex....we have agreed to abortion, but am scared it might go wrong.
Pls advice me Should i denied that i owned the pregnancy, cos i can back my claim up cos she cheated during that periosd or should we go for the abortion.
Pls am not ready to be a father to another kid!!! Help a depressed brother
Amadioha is the customer care agent that will attend to you...your case needs a thunderous treatment.
Jennyclay: Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.
My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him
My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.
His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.
Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years
I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.
I'm really confused. Please help a sister.
Here are my points. Think this through and leave sentiments.
1. By your own admission your man is "humble and quick to apologise even when you are at fault". This is a clear indication that your man does not keep malice and that he has a heart of flesh.
2. By implication, something happened 3 years ago that must have broken the father-son relationship and it is either the mom is aware and she is hiding it from you or she is unaware of it.
3. By implication, your man is clearly not the offender in this secret matter it is his Dad because if your man were the offender the family would have rejected him. If your man's relations with members of the family, except the Dad, is good and none is rejecting him then it means the Dad must have done something horribly wrong and your man is privy to it.
4. By your admission, several people have been invited to address the feud to no avail. This means that what happened is highly secretive and must be seriously bad for a guy who is humble and forgiving to keep this feud for this long.
5. By implication, your man is keeping the secret away from you for a reason and that reason is in your best interest. If this is a guy that is humble and forgiving as you claimed then he would easily have revealed to you what really happened but he insists on not doing so.
6. You are getting married to the guy and not his father or his family. You are privy to secrets of your man but not those of his family. Just as your man has no right to demand that you reveal your family secrets.
In conclusion, I will advise you to not play the fool. Your man is a good man by your own admission and he has serious and secretive issues with his Dad. I will advise you to go on with the relationship, keep your nose out of his family affairs, submit to his lead and support him. If you foolishly ditch this guy ehn e go shock you sey another babe go hijack am at the speed of light while you return back to Shiloh fasting and praying for man. Wise up.
maasoap: As seen on Facebook today and it looked like greater number of responders went with gateman in USA. As for me, considering all factors, I prefer to be a bank manager in Nigeria. What about you? Any reason for your choice.
Maybe in the pre-2020 US, right now their economic indices aren't looking good. Na to hold bank manager position for naija ohh.
Promisecinho12: I met the pretty lady few years ago and we were cool with each other. I was the first man in her life but distance became a barrier in our relationship. She later got married and now she has two lovely kids.
Whenever she visits her parents, she always wants to visit me too but I don't usually allow her to enter the room with me cause am scared that okafors law may work on me
Recently I told her to stop visiting me that she is married and I don't fancy her visiting me and she called me all sort of names pls I don't know if I did something wrong for telling her not to visit me again.
You did great! Some ladies are just plain dumb. She married someone else but wants to still taste of you. Such foolishness.
Workch: I dont believe anything without seeing the evidence. I can see the evidence for big bang. I can see the evidence that the universe is atleast 13.8billion years. The evidence is all over the internet if you care you search for it and it's testable. Your statement is wrong. you attempted to commit a fallacy of whataboutism as well
1. Fine tuning of the cosmos 2. Evidence of design in nature (related to evidence 1) 3. Structured information (e.g the DNA) 4. The comprehensibility of the universe 5. Successful mathematical modeling of natural phenomena (like the appearance of the fibonacci sequence in flowers, sea shells etc) 6. Reports of supernatural phenomena 7. Origin of something from nothing.
These seven points tell me that it would be stupid to believe there isn't a supremely intelligent being somewhere, known as God!
Workch: There are all sorts of reasons why people have theistic belief, and some of them make a whole lot of sense from their perspective.
Some people have experienced phenomena that isn’t adequately explained by science and find a theistic explanation more satisfying.
Some people have overcome major life challenges, such as addiction, through the power of faith.
Some people have been raised in a religious belief that has been reinforced by peers, elders, and culture.
For some, faith brings solace and comfort.
For many, faith inspires their path of lovingkindness and justice.
As I said, I’m an atheist. There are certain aspects of some theistic views that I reject and outright oppose.
But the vast majority of theists I know are people of deep character, and have reasons for their beliefs that I readily respect as long as they don't try to enforce their beliefs on others and make it the universal truth.
I have problem with fundamentalists and religious people who try to undermine you because you don't share their religious opinions.
There are a couple of things you believe without seeing the evidence for yourself. You probably believe in evolution because scientific materialists say so not because you have seen the evidence. You probably believe the observable universe is some 13 billion years old because some astrophysicist says so not because you have seen the evidence for yourself. You probably believe that the Mathematical enterprise is well founded because you were told so but I can guess you haven't heard of Godel's theorem of incompleteness. I can go on and on. Why do you think you have the moral high ground to criticize those who believe in the supernatural (this is at the core of most major religions) without necessarily seeing repeated, testable and verifiable evidence for it when you take the words of scientists and materialists at the face value without seeing the evidence?
Oddfinder: Oga please let's be logical in our reasoning So sugar is bad because God put a special enzyme (glycogen) to convert excess sugar from our system? U eat fufu,rice,eba,yam,etc and rely on that special enzyme to clear out the excess..does that make those food bad?
I agree that excess of everything is bad...but in the case of alcohol the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase clears it entirely from the blood. This is not a case of dealing with an excess rather it is a case of clearing something toxic from the body. I agree that some alcoholic drinks may have benefits but the recreational use of alcohol is just something we should frown at because it could lead to an addiction that could be tough to handle. Sugar also can be addictive and we are advised to take it with great caution considering that we eat a lot of carbohydrates.
EmmaOgbu: Everything God created is good abi! You said God didn't create alcohol, as a Clinical scientist i want to ask you, why did God create Alcohol dehydrogenase just as He created amylase in the mouth? The real God almighty is not a confusionist.
He created Alcohol dehydrogenase to metabolize ethanol and contribute to clearing it from your blood 1 . If alcohol was wonderful why did God put an enzyme in you to clear it out of your body ehn, Mr Scientist? Why swallow something toxic and then rely on your body's response to deal with it. I just taya for human beings. If you want to drink you are welcome oh. Happy drinking!!! Set awon shayo master.
What about marijuana, crystalmeth, fentnyl, cocaine, sensimilla, tobacco, opium etc GOD created all these ones too na in the same sense as GOD created alcohol and you can take them in moderation too. Mumu reverend father teaching the very nonsense that has brought us to where we are today. GOD created fruits, man fermented it and produced alcohol. GOD did not produce alcohol, it is man's perversion of GOD's creation towards worshiping himself and his lusts. We teach abstinence from alcohol because it is addictive and could lead to young men.women squandering their lives, money and time on fruitless endeavors. We call ourselves Christians yet we strive so hard to bend, twist, caress, handle, massage and damage the scriptures to justify our stupidity yet we want atheists to see the sense in the shit we do. Is this the load of crap Jesus died for? What a shame!
Maxwell775: Good day nairalanders. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I'll be brief.
While I was growing up I love playing football, I'm a very good defensive midfielder, I be correct number 6, I have always wanted to play for Nigeria and other big clubs. But my dreams becoming a footballer wasn't coming to reality so I have to focus on my business full time.
I work from mon - sat, while sundays are my free days but I don't go to church. I'm part of those people that plays ball on a Sunday morning, I'm 31 and I still dey play ball well, Infact from Saturday evening my friends have started calling me against tomorrow's match.
Although my girlfriend have persuaded me to start going to church but all to no avail. I can't remember the last time I went to church. Please note that I study my bible, I pray always, I help people around, I visit homes of the needy. But Its been a decade I went to church.
My girlfriend attends church very well, even weekly service. She is really mad at me, she has invited me to church several times but I would turn her down. Now she said she can't go on with our relationship, she don't want a situation whereby if we get married and other families are going to church with their husbands, that I will be in the streets playing ball, she want her marriage to be built on God's word... Bla Bla Bla
Now My Mother on the other hand, is putting pressure on me to go settle down. Everytime, your mates are married, give me grandchildren, do you want me to die before you marry, I didn't give birth to impotent children.
Guys, please note that my elder bro is married with 2 kids. Abeg no be grandchildren be that?? Why put pressure on me.
My Mother pressure.. My girlfriend pressure. I'm just confused and its getting too much. Please I need advice.
You study your bible? If you do study your bible then answer this question. Which bible author referenced the prophecies of Enoch? (A) Enoch (B) Paul (C) Jude (D) Isaiah. ...but dude you not let anyone pressure you into making a decision. Make your decision and be prepared to face the consequences of your actions.
Abetterperson: I don't really fancy married at all, it as to do with my upbringing I never grow up in a stable home and I found happiness when my parents were apart rather than together. I really don't like the idea of marriage because I see it as a cage, mind you im not totally against it I just think it wouldn't suit me, I never grew up in a family home so I don't know how to build one.
A guy asked me out and I agreed only on the condition that we wouldn't get married, he refused saying what's the point of the relationship if it wouldn't lead to marriage, even though I don't like the idea of marriage I do want to feel loved and wanted, I still do want kids and some sort of companionship, as crazy as it sounds I just want a baby daddy, I wouldn't have a child with him because I want to money, nop I'm already trying to establish myself, I really want to be financially independent so as to take care of my kids Now the main reason I don't want marriage is because of my Independence, I don't want to answer to anyone at all and I know it will be difficult if I'm married to someone because in every marriage there is a level of dependence that is needed to make the marriage work, whether you are a man or woman u don't just do what you like especially when there is a child involved, secondly I'm thinking about the emotional stress my kids will go though if the marriage doesn't work, I don't want my child to grew up with memories of dad beating mum, mum shouting at dad, mum throwing a knife at dad and incase I do divorce I don't want my child to be in a state of depression, thirdly most Nigeria men treat their wives as trash, I Know what I'm talking about they don't value their wives, some see them as property other than an actual human being, some think of their wives as house maids and will refuse to do anything in the house or even allow the woman to get a help, some are also serial cheaters and don't see anything wrong with cheating because as they put it "I be man". Now I know that some women are equally as bad but I'm just stating my concern as a woman after all I'm not going to walk down the alter with a woman by my side. So that's all I need my Independence, stability and control, people are saying I will regret but I really think it's for the best for me, I feel like I have a lot of time to think as I plan on having children at 28 but I don't know if my opinion will change then.
I'm I stupid for not wanting marriage?
No you are not stupid. As a matter of fact more and more men too do not want to have anything to do with marriage. As at 2019, based on a Pew research at least 1 in 2 black men and women in the US were without spouses and many who were once married do not have any intentions to remarry. This is the case when you live in woke societies where men are demonized and suffer at the hands of the legal system and more women are incentivized to abandon traditional roles and become feminists and single mothers. The result is fewer marriages, fewer homes, fewer families, slower population growth, more manageable populations to control and more power to governments.
Truvelisback: Good day, Fellas. If not for sex and child bearing, 99% of men in this present time wouldn't have anything to do with women, relationship or marriage. Considering the high rate of materialism,entitlement from women as their bases for love for men. On front page, u hear if he is still using 2012 car, i can't date him. I'm not in any relationship because i haven't met men that are richer than me(Natacha). If not for sex and child bearing, 99% of men in this present time wouldn't have anything to do with women, relationship or marriage. If e easy nai Bobrisky turn to woman overnight? My fellow gees out there, no go do money ritual just because u wan impress one Nkechi. Just be content and hopeful for something better ahead.
Well many men are already abstaining from relationships. Porn/masturbation has substituted regular intercourse for most men and some men are just okay without kids. More and more ladies are facing the prospects of hitting 40 without being a marriage bound relationship...but as for me, GOD has privileged me to be in 1%. If you marry woman wey be woman indeed, you will never regret it but if you are unfortunate and you married hypertension in woman form, sorry ohh!
Mercisharelove: What about you, ladies ladies, what about you, don't you have a story to tell??
Lol. Yes, we all have stories to tell but some stories are gorier and dirtier than others. Before I get emotionally attached in any marriage bound relationship I declare my liabilities (assets are easy to notice). This is so that the lady knows what she is going up against and also so she can evaluate by herself if she can help me or not. I am not a saint but I understood very early in life that "what you sow is what you reap", "no deed goes unrewarded here on earth" and "we all pay the price, some earlier and some later in life". This is why I strongly advocate that both ladies and guys should be careful what they do today if they know they cannot confess it tomorrow because whether they like it or not "their sins will find them out". What now matters is how grave and serious those sins are and how prepared the spouse/fiance is to support their partner with the liabilities.
I know you think I am biased against ladies but this is just the reality of things!
Mercisharelove: Never get upset when you hear about your partner‘s past. What matters is now.
You are together now. This is what counts. Now that he‘s met you. Never let his/her past repeat again.
Help them build a better now which translate into future. Hallelujah.
Easier said than done...if the lady confesses that she has been pounded by the guys father in the past will the guy continue with the lady? If the guy confesses that he has screwed two of her sisters already and aborted for both of them will she continue with the guy? We must realize that the past is very potent and can be more potent that future. Be careful what you do in the present that will make your past permanently present! Nevertheless it is important for intending couples to disclose their assets and liabilities, and agree to live with them and support each other before saying "I do", so that they don't eventually start saying "had I known"!
Ogalanyaidi: Thanks for your response. I just got married and I don't want a divorce. Agreed, she is extremely intelligent and I can't really predict her intentions. How did I know? I play card games well but she would always beat me to any game we played together, even card games. She thinks very deep and it marvels me.
Dude this story you are telling may turn to lamentations later. No one here benefits from your divorce but her attitude is a symptom of a dire future waiting for you. Today she is reporting you to her mom with evidence, tomorrow she will report it to the police with evidence and after 2 or 3 arrests and fines you will become the wife at home while she becomes the husband...and if you refuse to accept that dynamic she will go full beast-mode on you and toss you on the streets. Dude I see you are bent on letting this slide but you should have a very deep conversation with your wife to be sure she won't become your nightmare tomorrow. It is better to separate in peace today than to kill her and kill yourself out of anger, anguish and hopelessness after a couple of years of marriage. So I will advise you have a heart felt talk with her and probe to know if she is really in the marriage to help you or to destroy you. May GOD help you oh.
PoliteActivist: She's busy obtaining grounds to kick your sorry ass out and be allowed to keep everything you worked for!!!!!!!!!!!
But mehn, why is it like that? You could be very right and she is indeed accumulating evidence to eventually dispossess this unfortunate guy of his life's work...but why do ladies enjoy doing this even if the system provides them with the opportunity to do it.
You need to know why she is denying you sex? The reason is much more important that the act.
If she is denying you sex for medically related reasons (like she's got vaginismus, she has internal sores that makes sex painful, she suffers from internal dryness and it results in painful sex, she relives traumatic experiences during sex, etc) then you need to be of help to her. Consult a physician or sex therapist.
If she is denying you sex because of you offended her and you can confirm that you indeed offended her then you need to take responsibility for your action and accept her actions as punitive measures for your wrongs. Appease her, wait for her to heal and return back to fulfilling her sexual obligations. An angry wife is not fun to sleep with even when you do it by force or by blackmail.
If she is denying you sex for no real reason, then she is likely cheating on you. By no real reason I mean, if she denies you sex consistently and continuously because you demand sex a lot, because you can't afford something she likes, because she is busy, because she is tired, because she of her career, because of her spirituality (repeated fasting) etc. If this is the case then she is either cheating you (denying you of what is in her power to provide) or cheating on you (with someone else). In this case you ought to exercise self-restraint, investigate her for evidence of wrongdoing, cease all marital obligations, watch her unravel and observe her routine. If you have substantial evidence of foul play, confirm the your paternity and be sure you are the father of your kids, convene a family meeting and expose her wrongdoing but if you do not have any evidence of foul play contact your counselor, clergyperson or an elder to mitigate between you two.
tensazangetsu20: Life is much better in developed countries but they still have a much higher number of anti-natalist than us Africans. To exist is to suffer. Theres too much needless suffering in this world that can be mitigated by people not just existing.
I understand you are an antinatalist but have you thought it through? What is the virtue in antinatalism when it is strictly practiced by all? If global population drops to say 100,000 and population density drops to roughly 8 people per 10,000sq.kms with 80% of the global population being above 65 years of age would life become bearable and livable to you? If yes, then you need to be on a planet all by yourself. Your problem isn't with the world as it is rather is about the amount of resources allocated to you. If we slaughtered all the males and females on this planet with the exception of a few professionals (doctors, sex mates etc) to serve your interest you will not be interested in being antinatalist.
tensazangetsu20: Religious people say humans have free will to do anything and the things we do as a result of our free will be atoned for one day. I agree that humans have free will alright but why is it the most important things that can make life much more bearable for you as a human being are completely out of your control leaving you with just mundane things.
The first thing is to be born. Honestly, if you gave every human on earth a choice today to not exist or continue living, I can assure you that at least 70 percent of the human race will choose not to exist. A lot of people are going through so much suffering and pain that we can't even understand. I am a strong anti-natalist at heart and I believe that the greatest salvation a human being can have is to not be born but how fair is it that two people can just have sex and gbam a baby is born. No one asks for that child's permission whether he wants to live or not and whether he loves it or not he's born and that's it. It makes absolutely no sense at all. I believe this is the most important decision humans should be able to make with our free will and somehow we cant make it.
The second is the type of country we would love to be born in. If this was even a possible choice, I wonder if there would be any human beings in Africa. Your nationality pretty much predicts the kind of life you are going to have on earth but even a bad nationality can be mitigated by some characteristics which we also do not get to choose
1. A high intellect: Honestly even though things are bad in Nigeria and generally the African continent, suffering can be mitigated somehow with a very high intellect especially if one goes to school. Straight As in Wassce, First class in the university. High Gre scores. Scholarships to the west of which of course they would welcome such a person with open arms. People say geniuses arent born but made but believe me, that's bullcrap. There's what you call God-given intellect. Everything with regards to academia is just easy for the person. When I was in the university, I had classmates who would study and study and study and they still had a third-class whereas the best student in my department didnt even used to attend lectures. He was so gifted and only used to study a few hours to exams. I am sure a lot of people can attest to meeting such kind of people in their academic lives. This high intellect also translates to helping them get the best-paying jobs. With a high intellect, they would easily scale the most difficult test interviews of companies while those with low intellect will never have a job to do. No one chose to be born with a low IQ and some people struggle all their lives to increase it but it stays one place. This is also something humans could choose before they were born but yet with free will you cant choose this.
2. Good looks: This is pretty much self-explanatory. Good looks will take you anywhere but a lot of people are born ugly. No one chose to be ugly but it was bestowed on them. Another thing we could choose but we couldn't.
3. Wealth: The last one is being born into a wealthy family. Nigeria, alongside the rest of the African continent, is a shitty place to exist but being born into wealth alleviates some of that suffering. Another thing we could choose and with our free will we cant choose.
But then even if you were born into a developed country with a low IQ you can still have a decent life. Drive a good car, live in a nice house. You can be an artisan and artisans in the west earn a lot of money. Being an artisan in a third world shithole is a sure way to die in poverty
I feel that life is just a game where someone higher than us is just using humans as pawns for his own enjoyment. I mean why should someone be born in Canada, Switzerland and someone is born in Nigeria, Liberia, Ghana etc. Why should some people struggle through school even with hard work and some people just breeze through. They tell you as a child you can be whatever you want but there are certain professions you cant touch if your IQ is less than 140. How many people have such high IQs. Why should a man be constantly rejected for being short and ugly while another gets the attention of ladies because hes handsome. None of us chose these things but we came and met them all here and we are told we have free will. The things that will make life enjoyable for us we couldnt choose and now we must work hard not to anger our creator.
I feel someone somewhere is just using us for his own excitement.
If life were a paradise you won't be an "antinatalist". If life were sweet and wonderful you would vilify anyone who decides not to bring as many children to this world as possible. Your complaint is circumstantial. Whereas the circumstances we see today is a direct consequence of the collective decisions of men and women globally? Our world is messed up because it was messed up by people like you and I. And people mess up the world because they have the choice to decide whether to be altruistic or be selfish and more often than not humans choose to be selfish. Hence at the root of your concern is the power to choose...and only men and women wield this power and hence only they are responsible for the ugliness of our world today. The almajiris of the north were created by religious men and women of the north and any attempt to address it will ultimately fail. The criminality in the south was created by corrupt leaders embezzling public funds, parents glorifying materialism above character and failed education/religious institutions that uphold rote learning and financial incentives above thorough cognitive, effective and psychomotor development.
Deciding not to have children is not the solution rather deciding to play your part in building a generation of problem solvers who will by sheer courage, dexterity, integrity and uprightness bring the needed change our world needs.
Today people are rushing to Canada, US etc forgetting that the people in these countries worked together to fix their country and make it beautiful for all. You will not feel afraid to have children in Canada for example...but you will most certainly ne afraid to bring a child into a country like Somalia.
PrinceOfLagos: Nigerians must get it right this time
APC has destroyed Nigeria economy.. atleast they admitted it yesterday
Not this way. Nigerians have never gotten it right and they won't get it right this time. The political structure in Nigeria has been set to be the workhorse of the elite in Nigeria..
Is it true that marriage is actually a do or die affair that whatever comes ur way u have to take it and live with it? That question is solely for the married men, and for the married ladies on here, I just wanted to know if you would react the way my wife did regarding what am about to explain, because she said all women are the same that even if i am to re-marry, that the woman will be worse off than she is, but i disagree. The issue of tending to my food comes with a struggle at times, and being a father of two and living in lagos aint easy. She told me she was going to market to get some supplies for her clothing biz, i was like i hope u did come back soon so i can get breakfast cos i was working from home. She said she would be back before 9, lo and behold, it was already quarter past ten and she called saying shes on her way asking what i would like to eat, i was like is this the promise u made to come back early, she said well there was traffic and that i need to understand that we are sharing bills to pay equally now so I must give her the freedom is hustling per her own timing. I was like I didnt marry you to give me rules, part of the reason why u are my wife to give me food and not what ur saying, i said i have arranged breakfast she should bother. She got back, and the first thing she said is..i have bashed the car because i was rushing home to make u food, i was like i already told u before u drove off that i sorted myself, whats the rushing home to make food for me for. Then it came to my attention that she has consecutively been bashing both cars over the course of 4 days, i was pushed to ask her what she has been doing causing these sort of ill-luck bashing the cars here and there and having the other being fixed almost everyday, weird and un-unsual, she quickly termed it that i was trying to say shes cheating, that i need to get a life and stop being insecured. I was like i'm not insecured, and i cant be insecured over a woman of her looks. She got angry and said, me with my small pen**s, i was like an ugly woman like u can never make me insecured. I kept quiet but she continuously carried out her tantrums. This is coupled with the fact that somestimes last week, she made a statement out of an argument that she will have sexxx with another man in the house and i will never know of it. I was really angry and wanted to report to her dad, she cried and begged me not to, knowing fully well of the consequences that might follow. Ladies can u guys say these sort of things to your hubby out of anger? are u guys all the same?
Sir first and foremost not all women are like your wife but of a truth some women have a corrosive and volcanic tongue. Now that we have taken that out of the way I will say you need to address a couple of things in your home.
1. Your wife said she is hustling to make money so that she can contribute equally. This is a clear sign that money can easily become a problem in your marriage. You two should be unified financially as well. You two ought to agree on family goals that require finance. If you two are not united in your finances it could be exploited against your marriage.
2. If your wife said she would sleep with another man in the house and she begged you not to report it then she must have a reputation for doing such. You need to be sober and be vigilant.
3. Yes you are the man and she is your helper but please don't treat her like she is your slave. Drop this idea that woman are to do somethings and men are to do other things. You are in that marriage to support your wife and she is in that marriage to support you. So if she has to go out to make money support with the kitchen affairs if you are at home. Being a man means being a good leader and not a rash tyrant.
4. Your wife does not respect you are the head of the home and you do not respect your wife as the helper you sought for. You need to deal with that. Seek counselling from marriage experts.
e depend on the kain mama wey you get...if your mama na olosho wey dump you for dustbin sorry ohhh...but if your mama suffer for you, raise you, pay you through school, sell her cloth for you, sell her jewelry for you, kneel down and beg headmaster onto school fees matta, sell food for road side, hawk wares and dey beg God night and day say make you succeed mehn such a mother deserves all the praise, honor and flexation...and her retirement is most definitely on me!
yomi007k: Please let us be logical in this situation.
The health worker is trying to prevent an outbreak of polio which if it happens will cause so much problems than we already have in this country.
I think the school should be closed down.
Your idiocy is monumental. So you would vaccinate a child without the consent of the parents? You should perhaps build a school and try that of people's kids. You will see what your eyes has never seen. So you could just walk into a school and start injecting people's children with what you know nothing about? Na why people dey mumu like this. The epidemic of idiots in our world today is deadlier than the COVID pandemic.
Romance › Re: If A Girl Truely Loves You, Would She Keep Asking For Money Every Time? by efficiencie(m): 5:02pm On Feb 13, 2022
Which kind of wicked human beings are above me sef!
2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years