₦airaland Forum

YoudeyVexme:
Have had this friend of mine have known for sometime now, he's doesn't work, doesn't have any business always at home or outside flexing. I ask him one day how's he's able to take care of himself even though he's parents are rich atleast man has to struggle for himself. Sometimes he wave it of and change discussion, fast forward to yesterday he bought a brand new car, I was shocked when he called me to come meet him at a popular bar in the evening.. after all the merriment. I asked him again what's the way forward is he into money ritual...after seeing how serious I was.

He brought out 3 I'd cards from his wallet and told me " Guy you see this iD cards na 3 different companies when dey pay me steadily every month including allawee and bonus."

I asked how come,

He went further to tell me he doesn't need to work, his name is already in paper and his account number all this was worked by his dad who is a big man in lagos state. Dude told me his younger brother and sisters who is 21 and 19 also receive payment too.

Yes, you can say I'm jealous yes I am.

I'm jealous for been jobless over a decade now, why some people are getting paid just to stay at home.

He's my friend and I will like to report him to the authorites


Seun
Lalasticlala

You must learn to mind your business before they come for you

You can't prove what you want to report and you can be accused for false allegations

His dad is big man in Lagos state, what else do you want to know

BabaIbo:
That guy is right, stop supporting lack of focus.

There is difference between seeking for advice on which handwork to choose among the ones you are planning on choosing OR any new suggestions, and asking people what to do with your life at his age and level of education.

People are going through depression, get that part and understand that we have to be careful on what we tell people that will hurt them

Stop supporting nonsense

Don't blame him that much

Someone that read micro biology could as well read medicine but he did not get that offer in school admissions

I think you should let him know that your woman is around and you need to have private time with her

Secondly if you have any where to refer him for training do so then ask him to set up his laptop in his house and if he has any issues he can ask you for directions

Then stylishly start withdrawing from him by not picking his calls and not responding to his messages at times

aysuprano:
You need to calm down bro

I’ll be taking the step anyway

I just want other people view of it

Ignore him, he is not a good adviser

Felimax:
@ 29, you are waiting for Nairaland decision? A graduate!

This country is finished! I won't even expect this from somebody who just did SSCE.

Are you encouraging him or questioning his decision

There is no need for this comment
What about you, have you found your bearing

DSC7:
No thanks to Simon Ekpa ...

That Finland based Terrorist need to be arrested Asap...

He will be arrested, one day definitely he will be in the hands of government

Even if he dies abroad, and his corpse brought home, his corpse will be tried

Unless he will be buried abroad

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

I will suggest the following point for you

Forget about what people will say after all you once gossiped about people affairs so yours won't be different

Your wife may be having a challenge even before she git married to you ams the family is aware it did not just start after child bearing, so you just have to accept it that way as there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Unless she opens up, may be she belongs and having kids may be one of their rules and she has broken the rule, that's by the way

Leave that child with her family for now and find your bearing but the cost of looking after the child is having weight on her parents that's why they did prefer you come for the child

So, visit your family and seat them down to tell them everything, you can't be hiding such from them you are doing yourself

They will be glad to receive the child from them and that has solved 50% of your problems and no one is allowed to visit that child from anywhere without your presence or approval

Forget about getting a Nanny, she may milk you and you may end up sleeping with her and another child may be on the way

Before taking the child, write an agreement, that her parents supports you to keep the child in your custody because the mother has not been stable and not in the right frame to look after the child

As for your wife, just leave her, over time she will open up.
Let her be the way she has agreed to be with herself

Then you on your own on side, you have to be very careful, you don't know the next thing to happen

Prayer is the key to all problems

Danonym:
Hi everybody, I collected Loan from addmoney.

A loan of N31,000...I made a transaction and it went horribly wrong, so I had to borrow from another app and pay them their 37k, they said they did not receive it...I contacted my bank and nothing yet..

Now my loan has been 4 days overdue and I am to pay N40,000, I've been hustling and trying to pay back but to no avail

Just yesterday they called my family and insulted them, the thing just weaken me, they promised I will go viral....I am just currently lying down, weak..nothing to do..
Also this is my first post

Let them go ahead, they have already done it and you can't kill yourself

Ugaboy:
Hi Nairalander, You don't know how happy I am right now... after hearing a strong confession from my Lil cousin.

We both grew up in Ghetto area at Itire SURULERE, the environment is a off for any developing kid.

Thanks to my parents who took me out after primary education from the LGA.

Last time I visited, he is into drugs, smoking, touting, street fight and jobless.
We only exchange greetings and no
healthy conversation between us.

Recently, he has been calling to keep in touch with me and more.

Today, I called him just to check on a lust brother, the conversation was interesting.
He started telling how guys are catching out in YAHOO (to me this is not the conversation I want, so I played along, to keep cool chat).

After some minutes, he told me he regreted all the wasted opportunity and times he had to become someone. He is 24 years now

...he is a secondary school drop out, his parents push him to learn skill (Spraying Vehicle & Machines) under 2 months he quit, I found job for him, he quit same week...he prefers street money, he is also known as street money and sort of names to justify street life.

Personal I never care to advise him, I kept my cool and mind my business...afterall his elder brother is not different from him.

...back to the conversation, he told me he really wants to return to school, that life is really hard and tough, he said he is a change person now and more.


I need advice from you N'Lers...
should I advise him of acquiring a SKILL(not I.T pls) or SCHOOLING ( I will save money to pay his waec from my end next year)

If skill, pls what kind of good paying SKILL can I suggest for him?...I don't want barbing or vulcanizing or low income SKILL.

Register him for waec and put him into lessons to upgrade him and prepare him for waec

Do the same registration for Jamb

If he achieve them, then he is ready and prepared for a change in the society

Ajay7411:
Thanks for your advice...

But I think it's best to move out.


Because as a young man, I need to experience life.


And I'm not enjoying it here.

It's alright dear

Move out as you have made up your mind and come back as a successful man for them to understand that you have realy arrived

feranmi888:
How are you sure Kunle understands her body language, I never said anything to that effect. Though kunle had called me yesterday on phone sey him babe wan meet me, she come sey why would I want to meet her, I was like its there a big deal there? That it seems anything concerning Kunle now seems to be of ur attention, that I dont understand. She said stylishly " hmmm they want to meet fine boy" must you meet her. I just ignored.

Enjoy the drama

mrsample:
So, guys, I need your input on this.

I have saved up enough money to either move to a nice apartment plus furnishing or buy an average clean car. Buying a car is not really a priority for me at this point. However, my friend who I must confess has given me some investment advice that really worked out in the past thinks I should get a car first. Says in a year the rent money would be expired and gone but in a year's time, I would still have my car.

My current apartment is a nice little mini flat in an environment that I don't really like. It is surrounded by struggling peeps and you know how it is with such environments? dirty and mostly uninspiring. As a matter of fact, I feel ashamed to invite friends or colleagues home.

What is your take on this, should I go for an apartment or buy a car?

If possible, move to the front page, I need a wider opinion on this.

You can get another apartment then save towards getting a car

Ajay7411:
I pay my bills bro, from my clothes to my first phone to even my first laptop, all bought by myself but my junior ones have been disrespecting me because I stay with them at home.

You are actually the problem not them

Try to understand them and tolerate them to a certain level

You are measuring standards with them and by do doing you failed them for not being a brother

Be calm with them, share what you have with them and talk with respect to them

It's not easy to be a senior you have to be there for them

Skyview01:
It is fake news and did not happen according to a Nairalander, Gidygidy. He was in Abatete yesterday and did not see the dead woman on the floor. So, you see my people this is a campaign of Calumny and an attemp to soil the good name of IPOB says our dear Gidygidy.

Simply because they are not your family members

Some thing that was all over the media

feranmi888:
Hi guys,

Them sey nobody wise pass, and for this life, you can never be too certain of surprises why am posting this for the soji guys and ladies. So I have been dating this
girl for close to two years now, apparently the most loyal I have ever dated. I stay in a 3 bed apartment where I housed two of my colleagues who work for me, one of them who
is my age mate, and then his younger brother who is light years behind us.

In the last several months, my girl used to come to the house, whe she comes, the young guy goes to open gate for her, and when I need to get something bought, he's the one
I normally send on errand. One day, she said I like this Kunle guy, I said why, she said she likes her personality, that he;s humble and calm headed, I was like yea thats true.

Over time, and once in a while, I figured out she normally heap great personality praises on the boy, and I concur without thinking otherwise,not until of recent when I had issues with his senior, and I started
planning on how to discharge the elder brother, cos he already stared messing up, she heard when I was complaining and plan kicking him out, and that if I kic him out, hes younger brother would have to follow him,she responded in a sad tone that, awwww I should not send kunle away oo if am to send his brother away I should try to retain him. I was like oh well I cant as long as the brother is going he also would have to follow him. That didnt even start to make me feel she probably has some sort of intimate feelings for him until 4 days ago, the curtain in the room was shifted aside a bit which could make anyoen from the backyard see through to the bathroom, while she was in the bathroom, I figured out the curtain shifted, so I told her to always close the bathroom door just in case the curtain opens to avoid any of them seeing her nudity from the backyard, she replied saying she would prefer kunle to see her bum instead of her brother, GBAM that was when It triggered that it may be beyond what i was thinking before oo, seems this my gf likeness for him is beyond just his personality. That very night we had some not too serious argument, and I was like if u wont maintain peace, maybe I should go drop you at home, she was like no oo, if I dont want her in my room she would rather sleep in Kunles room. That was when I snapped that woman you are beginning to disrespect me with my younger one, that I would you like that I start using your younger sisters big bum as point of my attraction to disrespect you, she was like no oo, she's just joking and bla bla bla.

2 days ago, called me on the phone that his babe will arrive from UK that he wants to let me know that she will be coming to our place, I was like no P, she asked who I was talking tom I was like KUNLE, she asked what he was saying, I told her, and immediately I figured out sheh wanted to know more, by so doing, I Formulated a story about him just to see how attentive she would be, I formed a story about how a girl came to look for him and his brother and myself went to smoke at the backyard which was right to the kunles room window, that as we were smoking, we started hearing the girl yell and he kept firing for hours, at that moment, she was so attentive and that gave her away that its more than what I thinking since oo. Then this morning, his brother called me that he wan stroll out oo, sey the girl wey just come back from jand wan kill her brother, cos their room is close to each other, said noise of kpakam kpakam is too much, because I was on speaker, I looked left, omo see the way my gf was looking so attentive, she now used style to ask me who was talking, I said Tunde, she acted like she didnt hear what we both were talking about, and asked what he was saying, I said he was complaining about kunle and how he has been slamming the girl for hours sey their noise dey disturb am him wans troll out, my gf wey we dey watch tv together just turned her head around and went into thinking mode, not too sure if that was what she was thinking about, but her movement and the timing made it seem like that.

So guys, do yall think shes having intimate feelings for this boy? Or could she be doing it intentionally, should i be on the watch?

I think she likes and loves kunle but was waiting for him to make the move of which she may agree

But kunle understands her body language and will avoid anything that will bring issues with you and kunle

Don't be surprise after this period that kunle babe us around, she will change am for kunle and look for one excuse for you to exit kunle

That's when you will understand her games

Selfkontrol:
thanks sir for the advice. To think that I already made up my mind to go fix the house. I think I just woke up to reality. Thanks again. Plans canceled!!

Ma'am
Thanks for understanding
We learn every day

ZenithBanking:
I have a big probem.

I'm always peeping on my neigbhours/friends unclothedness when ever they are taking their bath.

It all started six years ago during my ND in school, & up till now, i'm still living with it.

During my ND, there is no famale tenant that i didn't see her unclothedness to more than a million time, even when i went back for my HND, i did thesame thing.

I'm currently serving right now, and i'm still doing thesame thing here. I peep on my neigbhous and fellow corps member here.

I've been doing this for six years, and i've never being caught. Sometimes i ask God; why was i not being caught all those times in school, why didn't GOD want me to get caught.

I've tried every possible means to stop it, but all failed, even when i don't want to do it, my spirit will keep pushing me & if i don't do it at that time, i won't rest.

It seems i can't live without it.

I know someday i will be caught and embarrassed and get my pictures uploaded online for this crime.

I'm afraid, i need help.

You better help yourself if not the prison will help you

domesifa:
Today 24 May 2022
Apostle Chibuzor Chinyere, the General Overseer of Omega Power Ministry OPM donates a 14-flat-mini-estates and a Corolla car for Uber business to the family of the slain Deborah Samuel.
Fully sponsored through tithes and offerings in OPM church

https://www.facebook.com/140526842820997/posts/pfbid033W69tVCTMbJADcHCmg1CXA4qgY69zNN7mgTKqKA7xVUWFzZrxBZuVxysgREuAdJ8l/

What a wonderful gift, am sure this is the first time the family is smiling after that gruesome murder of their daughter

Selfkontrol:
Good morning everyone. Last night I was on a thread about a guy contemplating to build his house first or complete his mother’s house. That topic is somehow related but completely different to mine so I want to share with people in the house for advice.

To cut the story short, I come from an extended poor family where even a good 3 square meal to some people is a big deal. I grew up in the village from childhood till I was in secondary school before my father died and I moved to live with my mother( my father had different wives that where not with him before he died.)
My mom gave me a good life. Better education
And all and now I’m 30, doing well in life. I mean very well.
My father has 5 brothers all still alive. They are all managing life and even their children not doing so well. Though I have tried to assist most of them the little way I can

Now, the family house in the village that my grand father build. Same house I grew up as a child is a complete mess. Its so bad that I can’t even drink water there currently. It’s to sad all my uncles could not renovate their fathers house. I don’t blame them though. They are not doing well. About two of my uncles still live in that house that the roof is almost falling and sometimes I feel ashamed because that’s where I grew up. I can’t even take anyone there because it would be too embarrassing for me. Due to this I haven’t been to the village for long

Few years ago, the most senior uncle did foundation at the back of the house and raised it up a bit but couldn’t complete it since then and even all the brothers can’t help. Now I feel I’m in a better place to atleast help complete it. I already made up my mind and was traveling this month end for it. Even though it would be a gradual process. ( just to lay few blocks to lintel then roof it.) until I read that thread of that young man and some comments made me think twice.
Pls experience elders in the house ur input is needed thank you.
I want to know if I’m making the right decision. If I need to involve all my uncles even though they are all not in unity.
It’s a bit confusing because my father is late. If he was a life I know it would be easier. I would just put him in charge of the project.

Now, my major reason of doing this is because I feel bad people are still living in that building that would soon collapse and also for the fact I grew up there and in my current position I can’t do anything about that house.

What's that uoir name again, Mrselfcontrol

I didn't even read where you ever discussed this with your mum, that's by the way

You are not the best person in position to renovate that house

Your late dad would have stood for you to renovate the house but he is no more, so who will do the backing for you in the mist of those wicked unknown people there

What makes you think that you are capable of doing that without being harm even before you complete it

Why not wait for the senior ones to call a meeting then you make your contributions and let them face the work, Instead of you fronting yourself

The house belongs to all, so it's the duty of all adult working males of the family to do so not just you

Am quite sure your uncles are not really at peace with each other, so who among them is the one that you will appoint that will not extend the enmity to you

Why not play low and buy a land ams start building in the city where you can put for rentals or resides in

That house is not standing and looking unkept for nothing

Don't be surprised if you were told that any one that tries to renovate it, goes to the other side of life

Control yourself abeg and spear your life for the sake of your mum

In your mind, you think every one is happy with your progress ?

charles009:
Hello Folks,

I need una inputs, I tried scanning through nairaland threads and I am getting more of technicalities and rules lol. I need real experiences. As everybody around me dey japa so I decided to give it a thought. I work with a fintech company and net a little over =N=600k monthly. I am considering relocating to either UK,Germany,New Zealand, Australia or Canada. I am married with four kids. They said study route is the best .

A few of my colleagues that travelled just dey dull my ginger. My Oga who nets over 750k, we spoke today and he is considering a security man job, and claims net pay is over 2M monthly. Biko I cannot come and kill myself.

My friend, we spoke this evening and he responded oboy make I no lie you, na shit i dey pack for here, the good news is they say it will always get better with time. What if person no come eventually become citizen, is it a must you go become citizen.

I don talk to over 10 persons today and they all saying everything is though. Me I don't like stress, where me and wify go dey overwork just dey pay bills. Ofcourse I no get strength for menial jobs, make one oyibo use me take dey shine lol....

I no get any exceptional skill, I be sales man ooo.

Would you advise I still gamble and go with family abi make I hold my job oooo.

Please, I would welcome suggestions and advise.


Thanks Guys

Why not take one month leave, go and make your visibility studies and sample opinions overseas then gone back and decide

I will suggest you go alone because to survive as a family for first timers is not easy

You have said it all
Weldone

EnglandAmaka:
Please do justice to this matter

A woman went to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in prison.

As soon as she entered the visitor room, she hugged him and exclaimed with tears in her eyes: "Oh! Philip, 40 years, Philip?

And Husband replied: "Well, my love what are you going to do?"

WIFE: Oh, Philip..! I just spoke to the judge handling your case.

HUSBAND: And what did he say? My love...

WIFE: He told me that for every time I make love with him, he will reduce your prison sentence by one year...

HUSBAND: What!! What a miserable bastard, then what did you say to that son of a bitch?

WIFE: Oh Philip we'll talk about it at home, pick up your stuff, and Let's go ...!! (40 years is covered already)

Is that woman to be congratulated or not? Does she love her husband..?

The debate is open!! marriage or divorce?

She should be congratulated for making frantic effort to bring her husband out

I don't care how she did it

If she doesn't love her husband, she won't make that sacrifice

Tonero5200:
Any little issue we have she report it to her brother, just because am the cool headed type. I'm tired of the all whole thing, several times have wanted to call it quit but we end up getting back together. On Friday she went out with a guy to shoprite, when I asked who he was, she said they are just friends which was a lie because that guy normally calls her when she's with me.

I i told her, that she can go ahead to date him that me am done with the whole relationship. At first she laughed, then told me I NOR FIT. She's been calling since then which i ignored.
his elder bro came to my house with some friends of his that has several stab wounds and injuries all over their body, they didn't touch me, he just asked me what happened and I told him then what he said is I should try work it out with his sister then he Left.

Have made up my mind, but I know this isn't the end of it.. the dude is well known all over the town for his problems and he will be back.

Just quietly pack out of that town, location area and nicer 10 areas far from her

Prettylitlady:
Goodday NL members.. I am here for any matured advice I can get as I understand we have matured people here who can talk senses into my head and make me realise one or two things.

I am in my mid 20's, I dated my Ex for few years, we were both students then in one of the West Universities (graduates now) and I really loved him, it was true love I felt for him to be honest, he wasn't working, I don't demand for money from him or anything, I sell clothes, shoes, bags and do other small businesses while schooling, that's how I foot my own Bills and also give him money sometimes when in need. His family knows me, my family knows him like we were so much in each other(or so I thought). I saw no other guy except him, I built my world around him, we were best of friends as I am an introvert and really don't keep friends so he was my all.
Even though it was a tough decision to make, I had to break up with him due to the following reasons;
1. He has beaten me once and promised not to do it again but he still slapped me in every slightest provocation.
2. He wanted to go into yahoo yahoo. That's not the kind of partner I want, I want a legit hustler not a fraudster.
3. He sometimes cheats on me and I will forgive him always. He tells me I am the main while the others is just for cruise that every guy cheats
4. He suddenly started smoking and drinking due to friends influence I guess (Eew, I don't want that)
5. He is Lazy, always wanting big money buh doesn't want to work. I told him to Start from somewhere after our graduation no matter how little buh he won't heed.
6. He always talks dirty with his female friends even in my presence, I wonder what happens behind me.

I ended the relationship after so much talking, pleas and counselling hoping he will change but he didn't. I dated another guy 2 months later, I know nobody is perfect but trust me when I say my current guy is all I ever wanted in a man. But the truth is I really do not love him that deep, He treats me fine and all but I still feel something for my ex maybe because I was already soo used to him. My boyfriend has told me to go back if that's what I want because he doesn't want a divided attention. I know I can't break up with him because it will hurt him so badly and my conscience won't even allow me because he has done literally nothing wrong, yes we normally have our ups and downs but he hasn't done anything worth breaking up over with.

I just need advice on how I can get this my ex off my head for good. We don't communicate, I have deleted all his numbers, We have been separated for few months now but I still think of him every single day even when I have a good guy already. I don't know what is wrong with me pleasee

Nothing is wrong with you, but you have to prepare yourself by forgetting everything about him and move on with your current relationship before you fall out

Your former relationship was not favorable to you because he was a paracite to you

If you don't appreciate your current relationship, you may loose him and the next one you will get may be a termite relationship

Love grows gradually know that pls

JovialJune:
If the husband truly loves her, he wouldn't put them in debt, whether he loved her before doesn't matter, we are talking of what is happening right now, because Op confirmed he is drunk at this moment

An addict can only be helped if they are determined and willing to help themselves, no matter what the Op tries to do to help him, it won't work if he is not willing to help himself.

Is alright

JovialJune:
He is abusing their finances and her mental health.

I agree, but both families are making efforts to bring his senses back

But am glad he loves her even before the issue came up

She can still give him time
But taking him to a rehab will make a difference

goodman41:
We have two kids, my wife can't pass a day without touching and romancing my dik even in the kitchen anywhere she said she enjoy touching it.

Sometimes when we have sex she will tell me baby thank you so much I really enjoyed you and she used to call me machine. Please is she for real or she is just trying to high me

Go and thank your star that you were able to satisfy her on bed

Keep it up

KingintheNorth:
Hi guys ...I'm ready to settle down , but out of curiosity ,I'd love to ask the married folks among us about the things to look out for before settling down with her? I really don't want to make a mistake.

True love

lalalista:
please where else can I ask?

I am still wondering what you Nedd the answer for

So far you are not related by birth, especially not sharing the same father or mother, be it steps or bloodly related

It makes no meaning

Maychang:
*A Married woman who had been shamelessly knacking with her boss for two years says she is angry because the said boss has dumped her. She says she is feeling used because after her boss has made her to fall in love with him he says he now wants to dump her and walk away from the relationship. She is threatening hailstones and brimestones against the boss. That she will go and inform the wife how both of them have been cheating on her. That she doesn't mind if her own marriage breaks because of it.

What advice do you have for her?

What makes her think that will break his home

The man will bring a counter statement that all she says was lie because she wanted him to date her

She should just learn from her mistake

PeerHub:
Hello There ��
I'd like you guys to help me on this... My wife packed her belongings from the house exactly a month today. Now she wants me to come bring her belongings back to the house from her parents.

As a man, is this right?

I think you should allow her feel the shame of packing out and packing back with out you bringing her back home

You can only do that if you were the one that packed her out

Next time, she will think twice

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .
I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children. He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially). We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol. He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here. It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient. This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions. I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow. He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back. We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it. Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.
My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too. I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there. I don't know what to do .

For the fact that he is loving but the problem he has is being addicted to alcohol

Take him to rehabilitation center with the help of his family

Staying away from alcohol there will help him to withdraw

Who knows if he has already added drugs to it

He needs you now more than ever

Meanwhile face those kids and pay attention to them

Every thing will be alright