₦airaland Forum

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend treating to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.


cc: lalasticlala
cc: seun

You know what, try and visits her family to know the position of things
You may want to give the 20k and the problems on ground requires more than 100k

So visit them and tell them she ask you to visit them and know how they are ,then you can find out the difficulties they are facing base on that you will know how much to give

Your ex is such a wonderful person to you and she has touched your life, its pay back time and you have to be there

Your ex may be stranded abroad because most girls that goes there, have to repay to return the money spent taking them there, its good you don't care about what she does there, but am quite sure she you have an idea

After helping her family, call her to open up to you ,what exactly is happening to her .
As the case may be ,if possible let her relocate if she will be allowed to leave ,am very sure her traveling documents are held as collateral till she sort herself out

As for your current girl friend, she can't be the friend your ex is and can't stand for you the way your ex stood for you.
Stop telling her things about your ex families and if she wants to leave, let her leave

Your real woman is your ex girlfriend

Loyalqwin:
I came as usual to visit my bf only to meet my own best friend having sex with him.
Am devastated right now. How can I pay them back? I need to hurt him advice needed.

Paying him back will hurt you more, they will leave with the guilt for the rest of their lives

Just end your relationship with both of them ,they are not to be trusted

Watch and see how that guy will dump her and when the guy or your girl friend comes back to apologize, just tell them that you have moved on since

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

Please, if you want a happy marriage look else where, else you will remain sad with yourself and keep serving him and at the end you will achieve nothing from him, yet you guys will separate

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

You love him, that's OK
He likes you that's, OK too

You should know that for the fact that you love him, if you go both of you will sleep
He likes you so it's a good reason to sleep with you

He wanted you to come over but his girlfriend already on her way to him and he doesn't want you girls to clash in his place

Don't be surprise if he is a lover boy

Hold yourself or loose yourself to him

You guys won't keep a good relationship except bed stuff

It's your choice to decide

liberalchick:
You don’t have to drop your ex-husband’s last name after any type of divorce. No man/court can compel the woman to drop the name, it’s her name and she can do what she wants with it.

OP, some keep it for..

a. They’ve had it for a while and are used to it.
b. Hassle of changing it.
c. Consistency, they want to have same last name with their kids.
d. Prestigious last name.
e. The woman has created a successful business with the name.
f. It’s a nice name.
The only Nigerian woman I can think of is Senator Ita-Giwa, even though she was married to Dele Giwa for 10 seconds.

The choice of dropping an ex name goes two ways

It's either both parties agrees she keeps the me after divorce

Or she drops the me for her to return to her maiden name and either remarry bear the new husband's name or retains her maiden name

There is nothing like she bears it before and there is no big deal about it

Instead of states to use second term to promote JSS 3 this sensitive period

As if you can get a job with JSS 3 certificate

seyi360:
I have noticed the trend amongst most women divorcees.
Perhaps they don't want to draw attention and investigative questions from friends to themselves . For whatever reason, they are just reluctant to drop the name and revert to their father's name.
I thought dropping the man's name is part of the divorce package.

Real divorce from a higher court drops name

Customary divorce to me is like a separation that will lead to legal divorce and so may or may not continue to bear his name

newace:
Today,i told my wife to start feeding our 18 month old son sma baby milk once a day so he could take in all the necessary nutrients from the milk since he was never breast fed.Note:he eats cerelac in the morning,yoghurt at 12 noon,Eba/Amala at 4pm and cerelac again in the night.I mentioned to her to find a way to feed him sma milk at least once a day but instead she started arguing with me. What do i do?

I think that child will soon be 2yrs pls relax and introduce peak 123 for brain development

St 6/12 months, moat kids eats normal agricultural foods and they grow well

His brain is still developing so add peak 123, milo or ovaltine

He will be fine

Though you didn't tell us what you wife gave as reason for not doing so

JKisOK:
Thanks a lot. But they said when they climbed it, the roof aluminium was so thin that it cracked.

Chai I believe them, from this moment till March next year please save and get a better gauge, this time around go with them and cut out a sample from the one on the roof and go with it so that no matter how the traders tries to convince you, you will compare both

Sorry about that

Self reliance is the key

912:
Coke and bread would have been better

It looks like something for sacrifice. The only thing missing is cowries.

You made me laugh, lol

As the well has taken a life now, they will quickly repair it

Nonsense and avoidable death

Oyolohi24:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, my wife was diagnosed of pelvic polyp. The Doctor advised it should be removed to clear way for conception, but because she is a Nurse and understands how some post operations like could be sometimes, she is scared of doing so. Meanwhile, this has been preventing her from taking in for 2 years now. She had 4 miscarriages prior to this. She said she prefers quitting the union with good health than to do an operation that she can not ascertain what the aftermath would be. My challenge now is that I don't how much IVF could cost in Abuja or Niger state. I am a low income earner, that is my fear now. Any Doctor in the house please

Being a nurse would have given her a good understanding why she needs the operation but I don't know why she prefers to opt out of the marriage unless her chances of survival is 50/50

IVF is about 500k and you have to do more more than once if the first one doesn't click

I think you have to involve her family if she insist on not getting it out and rather prefer to walk out of the marriage

The essence of involving he family is because of tomorrow no one will say that you chased her out of her marriage

Trust no one

There is this thick black but the other side is silver material like a tape that are used to patch it, you can be using that pending when you will have money to replace it

topsy23:
My Oga coleman is good but not the best. I am a distributor and also a contractor.

OK thanks for the clarification

Hamthablow:
Good afternoon sir, among the 3 listed Nigerchin, kablemetal & Coleman cables which is the best?
Secondly, the prices
1.5mm, 2.5mm, 4mm, 6mm, 10mm and 16mm
Hamthablow007@yahoo.com.
Thank you

Coleman remains the best if you can get the original one

Ibk2020:
I have been in this new single tenancy shop for the last 2 years, the shop is an extention of my landlord residents building. so recently my landlord approach me he needed some money to money to build a house in his home town before he died.
He offer to sell only my office space to me. I currently pay 200k per year for the shop rent, so he said if I can give him 4M, he will sell off the property to me (only my shop).
Pls I need advice on proper steps to take to avoid future problems with he's children. Thanks


Modified: I called a surveyor, he told me he can't survey only my space and there is no way I can get my own C of O without survey...

What a risky venture

How possible is he going to sell only your shop out of a building

Us the shop standing alone on a land meaning no building around it

That your landlord is working on your brain

If he dies anytime soon that shop you think you bought has no prove of ownership for you

The best way to shift his attention is to tell him to sell the entire property to you and as long as he is alive, he will continue living there

What you are about to do is as risky as dealing with a gambler

I just wish he should be chained to a pillar of any building and left their to die of hunger

In that case, he won't have to face any trials since that's what he dreads most that made him to escape

Elitecool:
You mean I should pretend being a Christian or choose to openly convert.

What brought about the word parented

zaza999:
I have sat her down and talk over it but she did not give an reason for that.I want to know if is is common among couples or anybody has witnessed such and way out.

That your wife initiates sex as well can make a man feel hot and feeling of being belonged and loved,but for me when I am the one that does it often,I personally feel as if I am forcing it on her for what she don't want and it can phycologically affect your performance in bed.And like I said once the game start ,honestly speaking she enjoys it more than me that I will be telling him so she has been feeling this and living in silent. Honestly I don't understand this act.

Anyway keep making the request when you need it

Do you guys have a friendly relationship or you live as flat mates. Because couples who plays together gets turn in easily

You can still give her time to readjust

So far she is responding to your demands, take it calm

Though we have cases where women gets turned of totally but tgat has to do with her emotions or being tired of the marriage

Elitecool:
Good day mates here present!
Hope you do keep the COVID safety guidelines there. Of course, I do here.

Now, Over to what currently bothers me that I hope I get fair responses here in the end.

Having graduated about 4yrs ago, I got a job within a year, after my NYSC. There's this babe whom I met in my place of work that we started dating till this moment. She's 23, I'm 30 - she lives with me in my 2- bedroom flat in my home town. We love each other so much.

To cut it short, few sensitive things could deny us settling down together as we're neither of the same tribe nor religion - her mother is a deaconess while her father is a pastor.

Right from the onset, we both knew we can't get married but you too know this invisible thing we call LOVE - I had many times tested her love towards me and found her worth having my heart - at a point, i told her: 'Can you convert to my religion but replied no' though, We trust and love each other so much.

Last month, I talked my mother in to how I love this girl and will marry her - though, she's always loved to see me marry a good wife one day. My mum was happy, but replied, she's gonna pray over it. After 3wks, she summoned me to tell me that 'the babe is not good for me that I can't marry her - this weighs me down so much that I didn't know what to do.

Last weekend, we chatted on phone because she's now travelled back to her state - she's a student who will soon graduate. Lovely conversations we had, but only to see her mad at me the moment I stylishly talked around the likely impossibility of we marrying - she got sick for 3days. Since I'm aware of the girl I date - I knew of how damaging it could end up being. So, I've called to tell her I love her. Amidst conversations, she's even planning with me how it could be possible.
Pls, kindly put yourself in my shoes; what would you do??

Thanks for anticipating!

Her parents positions in the church will be solved after you must agree to wed her in her church, though that's the normal thing

Your mum need to be convinced that she is the only one who can make life worth living

You are the man actor in this, if you live her go for her,, there are no perfect woman and no perfect man, it all depends on God and luck of one's choice of partner

IntersexSherry:
If not for the sake of money, i would love to be single for the rest of my life. Just imagine having a very stressful day only to think of having some good chat with a man to cheer you up, the next thing they start talking about is sex and showing you their pen*s. When you in relationship with a man, he will want to have sex conversation with you always and my sex drive is low, i'm not always in the mood. I try to change topic then they get angry saying i don't love them. Once you chat with others guys, you are now called a LovePeddler and hated. He wants you to do as he says, always giving commands and if you refuse, he ends it. The way men and women think may be different but at least try to understand how the opposite sex thinks. Don't be so irrational. Girls can't even keep friends with a guy anymore. Only thing they enjoy talking is sex sex sex.. I know some men are good but where will you find such? Women are also your fellow human being oh. They are not objects.

Men can never stop thinking and talking about sex

The same way women demands money from them so, they in return demand for sex

They just want sex if possible twice daily
I don't want to blame them because women are available for them

zaza999:
I don't know why for close to three years now,I am always the one to initiate love making with my wife.She can stay for weeks,no attempt.Unlike before,such moves do come from any of us. The attitude makes me not only feel unwanted but I assume may be she don't have my feeling anymore. The irony of it all is that during the process,she will be the one that enjoys it most,moan to the highest with different kinds of display as if she was deprived sex for long.What should I do.

Women love acts goes with their emotions, the emotions and state of mind determines their mood in every thing they do especially sex and romance

If you really love her seat her down and discuss with her, don't be surprise, you must have hurt her and feel unconcerned. She may be going through a psychological situation

Worst case she must have lost interest in you and the marriage

But only her knows exactly what is wrong with her

You said she enjoys sex more. Yes women do, especially if you can be patient to help her get to orgasm by knowing the buttons to press

obaayoa:
Good day nairalanders
I am a married man with two kids, lost my job early this year were I worked my life with no weekend and holiday only my leave in the year. life have not been Rossy ever since. my savings have been depleted trying to keep my family going.
skill aquisition: male fashionist, traditional wears, Bsc economic.
Real life hustle on a daily basis is real for I have to use my vehicle to run town service to keep the family going. after daily family expenses not always can I save a thousand naira. This have left me in a state of depressions for when school resume how will I be able to pay my kids tuition fee.
My wife on the other hand is so stressed out with her blood pressure increasing. Coping with each other attitude is by God's grace, as we bearly chits charts. now she find comfort sleeping in the childrens room limiting the chances of hearts to heart conversation for understanding and way forward in life.
pls pardon my gramatical errors. am open to all your critics and meaningful contribution.

Your wife attitude towards you could be as a result of her blood pressure going high due to the stress she is passing through to fix things in the family

Or there could be some other issues related or affected by the present issues

Try for your children to finish private primary schools and enter public schools

As for you, keep trying to run around with your vehicle and be prayerful that everything will be fine soon

Reduce all cost at home

Try and find out from your wife, why she is avoiding you

You can still pet her down, it will make her happy and she will be fine, that is if there are no other triggering issues

BrightestFuture:
Am so depressed. I just masturbated and i am now feeling guilty. I want to stop it but the urge just comes sometimes. Won't i fail my exam now? There is really no hope of redemption for me, is there?

When a Man is tensed, they engage in sex to get calmed

You are already a mastubator and the WAEC exams you are having is giving you tension

So relax and give it to yourself as much as you want, get relived and fave your studies

After your exams you plan on how to sort yourself out but for now, just have fun and stop filling guilt or stop the act

You are the problems and you are the solution

GuyWise101:
My girlfriend has been telling people and her family members that I am her boyfriend, even when I have not opened my mouth to tell anyone (I prefer it being coded)


Don't know how much this girl loves me but she is really into me,... She turned down 4 guys which I know, these guys she turned are by far better than me (not looking down on myself).


Please guys is there any reason or other motives this girl may be having that makes her to start telling people that I am her BF

You are acting as if she was the one that approach you

You have to man up and stop behaving like a duns

BrightestFuture:
Good day everyone. Am a young guy in ss3 and i began masturbating around July 2019. I don't even know what prompted it in me but i soon got accustomed to it. I've tried stopping it many times but i always relapse. I even placed a curse on myself to stop it but i went back to my own vomit again. The highest withdrawal days i've endured is 5days. I even read Nnamebuka story here and resolved to stop masturbating but all to no avail. The thing is whenever i wake up each morning, i program my mind not to do it but i wonder which spirit causes me to relapse. Please i need your help. How do i stop it permanently? Btw, no one should tell me it has benefits cos i know the problems i will encounter in my life should i continue. I really need to stop masturbating and retain my sperm. *cry for help*

It's not about retaining your sperm, it's about the damages you are causing to the nevers on your dick

You don't fight mastubation but you can calmly reduce it and engage your mind in other useful things

Worst case, get a girl friend, by the time you calculate the hotel bill and other things you will go flaccid

RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday.


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

If really all you said is true, I blame you for everything not her

You fell in love, forgot yourself and your future.

Who does that ⁉️

You know what's is best for you is to, forget about falling in love so quickly whereas you have some things to channel your time and energy to

Firstly, start looking for your bearing, think of what to start doing because no body will leave his family to come and help you

Secondly, law of survival is me first, you have to survive before you start to rescue any woman

Thirdly, never love with your mind, reserve some for situations like this

Lstly, don't ever wish to go back to her, even if she comes to beg you, you are her puppet and if you go back to her, you are doomed

ExBanker:
Nairalanders, I want you to judge if the conditions I gave this girl is okay or it is too much

I met this girl around June this years. I really liked her. As I was asking her out, I was always taking care of her. Buying her stuffs, giving her allowances and supporting her. Then the relationship started last month officially when we smashed. I continued to take good care of her. But note that before we officially started dating, she showed half interest. She wasn't really into the relationship. When we started dating, she showed same attitude.

Her much elder sister is a hair dresser. Like 7 years older. She lives with the sister. The sister shop is in one hidden corner. They hardly get customers. So both of them are always broke. I have being supporting them. This month, their rent is expiring. They intend to move to a better location. The new shop is N75k per year. My girlfriend asked me for support. I said I will give them N50k by August end. Since they were expecting N50k from me, they gathered all the money they have home and abroad and paid advance of N30,000 for the new shop to secure it. Last week, my girl asked me for N7k for something. I told her I don't have. I am gathering money for the N50k. It is a lie sha. the money is already there.

She then asked me to borrow her. She will pay me back. So I gave her. By weekend, she was acting funny. I told her I am tired of the relationship. She should forget it. It turned to quarrel. Then she left. We quarreled on phone till Monday. I think they felt bad that I am leaving out of the deal to help them secure the shop. On Monday, the sister called to quarrel with me too. Imagine.

After everything, today, my girlfriend called to apologize. I told her that I have forgiven her. But, for our relationship to continue, there is one condition. She asked me what condition. I told her that despite the fact I have being supporting her and her sister, both of them still had the gut to talk to me anyhow. I will only continue the relationship if I will be having sex with the 2 of them. She was shocked. She wanted to start talking nonsense. I told her to shut up and relay my condition to her sister. Let the sister call me to tell me if she agrees.

Is my condition too harsh or it is okay?

You acted well as a man from onset until you brought in that dirty condition of sleeping with both of them

That was where you lost it all

Since you are not afraid of your own life and safety, just inform one person among your family how you are digging your own grave

saphiya:
But why?
He should have taken her to the hospital at least

Someone he wished death for, how will he care about her talk more of taking her to the hospital

Psalm6ix:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-KbsIElCSiW4/X0AhBS0DbGI/AAAAAAAAKJc/IVTXhMy23qEc0WXyutwTa996BqpQqnxhwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_ORG_1598038187286.jpeg


A Nigerian lady identified as Suraya has said that she wants to get married but does not know why men are scared to talk to her.

According to her, guys have been running away from her, and she doesn’t know why they are scared to approach her.

She wrote: “Am not getting any younger. I think, I need to get married, but I don’t know why guys are scared to talk to me. Am I not beautiful?”

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-KbsIElCSiW4/X0AhBS0DbGI/AAAAAAAAKJc/IVTXhMy23qEc0WXyutwTa996BqpQqnxhwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_ORG_1598038187286.jpeg

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-5-vfZZK2YiE/X0AhAizbk1I/AAAAAAAAKJY/gpf-b8yNIZ8RSI7CqcwgcNExjxq_pSBsACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_ORG_1598038168169.jpeg

Wanna Get Her Details? Click Here >> https://www.kingsparo.com/2020/08/i-want-to-get-married-but-i-dont-know.html

Attitude matters in every thing we do in life and how we associate with people