₦airaland Forum

gugus1:
Hello dear Nairalanders. I hope all is well with all otherwise continue to struggle positively and time would make things heal.

This topic is actually raised to address the issue of average families where both spouse earn little, but also when the man is taking care of the basic responsibility of house rent,school fees, PHCN bills, DStv, security and lawma. Etc.

My question is since the woman is also a working class, especially when she earns more than the man. Is it proper for the man to hire a house help for the domestic work.

Please only genuine opinions and no childish contributions.
Thanks

It's not a man duty to hire a house help

It's women duty but the salary can be discussed between the couple

Hiring a house help lyes solely on the woman, she knows what she wants and who she wants

If the man should get for her, she may not like her and still accuse the man if bringing his girl to her home

If she earns more or less has nothing to do with the need for house help

God bless your father for not Loosing hope despite the challenges he went through

God will kerp him to enjoy his fruits

His seat will never be vacant whenever their is a good need for celebration

NairalandSARS:
How did he impregnate his wife?
Are you sure the 4 children are his?

Senseless question, pray to pass through the same thing and you will know how he did it

Mumu

metroblogger:
Are they all hers?... Mrs Laye Ajube Smooth posted these lovely photos of herself with her husband and their two children, including 8 boys.

See more photos below

http://www.metronaija.ng/nigerian-woman-shares-photos-8-sons-two-daughters/

The title says and her two children with eight sons

It really means the man had other children from his previous marriage and she had two for him

Read it again

Francis609:
posted few months ago about my mum doesn’t approve of my relationship with my fiancé ,after being informed by my sister that my fiancé started staying with me she left her house and came to stay with me in a single room she actually came to chased her away .

Well after reading all your comments which I really appreciated it and I concluded that I should allow my fiancé to go and stay with her friend until my mum leaves then she could come back. My fiancé was 2 months pregnant we decided to keep it a secret until after our wedding

I have planned to meet up with her family for introduction and traditional wedding during this pandemic with a small number of family member, we want everything to be done before her stomach start showing . I didn’t tell my mom but my dad was aware of that but i didn’t tell him about the pregnancy.

My mother was so happy to see her leaving and she told me about this girl that she want me to marry , the girl is from the same tribe as her and she is from a good family etc etc . I wasn’t even concentrating on what she was saying because my mind was busy thinking about my pregnant fiancé how she would cope staying with her friend and for how long she would be there because I wasn’t sure for how long my mother would be staying with me , fortunately she left after a week and my fiancé came back three days later.

So far we have been planning to meet-up with her people which my dad had agreed but my mum has been against the decision saying if I marry her , she will disown me , she is been saying a lot of things that I am just stubborn like my father and she regretted keeping me with her after her divorce , if she knew I will turn up to be just like my father , she would have had abandoned me with my dad that she is regretting all her money that she has had spent on me etc etc , actually she curse me.

I had informed my dad about what she said to me and he said I shouldn’t listen to her , what matter is I love my fiancé and I should go ahead with the wedding that his wife ( my step mum ) will be representing my mum , have told my dad that the idea is not bad but she is alive and I think is good for me to get blessing from both of them at that point I had no other choice and opened up to my dad about the pregnancy even taught he scolded me for getting her pregnant before marriage but he was so happy at the end and accepted that we should see her family as soon as possible.

I taught maybe if I have had also told my mum about the pregnancy , she would accept my fiancé and give us her blessing because she love her grandkids a lot and an additional one would have make her more happier but I was wrong , after I had informed her about the pregnancy all she could say was she should keep the pregnancy and after giving birth DNA must be done , if I am the father of the child we will go and collect the baby from her so she could be to move on with her life. I become angry with her and I asked her as a mother herself , how would she feel if she had given birth and her baby had been taken away from her or if it happened that any of my sisters got pregnant and the guy family want nothing to do with her but they only after her baby , she said it wouldn’t happen to any of her daughters because she has trained them well , she said lots of things that my fiancé is a loose girl that she was fully aware that she never liked her but she intentionally gotten pregnant thinking that she will change her mind so she can start liking her but that will not be possible.

I become angry with her but I didn’t say anything, I left her house and called my dad and I informed her about what she said , he said I should go ahead with the wedding without her and stick to his decisions that my step mum should represent her. I don’t know if it is possible to go ahead with the wedding without my mum being involved because the way she behaves if she doesn’t want something she will stick to her decisions no matter what , and my fiancé had been crying since because she doesn’t want to end up being a single mother .

I love my fiancé and I don’t want to leave her but I am so confuse to the point of I cannot concentrate anymore because I am depressed right now . I want to go ahead and do as my dad said but I am still asking myself , If I ever go ahead and marry her without my mother blessing would I ever be happy into my marriage because I don’t want to end up a divorcee like my parents , I want to spend the rest of my life with my fiancé and nobody else. I have been thinking since And I have lost sleep because of this issue sometimes I just wished that my mother could be an easy person to accept my fiancé even if she doesn’t like her but at least she could try to accept her for the sake of her unborn innocent grandchild in her womb.

Please help a confuse brother

My dear, just take it calmly

I will advise you hold on till you get your mum to give you her blessings

You see mothers, don't joke with their spirit's living or dead

Don't rush things with her, let you and your woman start living and keep orayiyfor God to chanve her mind

Don't rush for any marriage ceremony, it can be kept on hold

Your mother is bittered over her issues with your dad and she is carrying the bitterness all over every thing that relates to dad

Your dad is giving you the go ahead because of the dislike he has over your mum, saying that your step mum will represent you is like pouring fuel in a fire that needs to be put out

Your dad has lived his life. Learn to live your own life

Continue to show love to your mum and let your woman Continue to show love to her irrespective of her stand against her

Your mum knows that she deliberately pregnant herself but it's an old trick that your mum knows

Just suspend everything for now while living and planning with your woman

Mothers are some thing else and need to be handled with utmost care and caution

You are not her target but your wife, but what affects your wife, affects you

Take your time and don't give the devil a chance

mumumugu:
n

best advice, experience is best teacher.

Thanks

Naxtrad:
I was on my way to fill gas today when my car broke down so I had to come down to fix it as a real guy... so I overhead a Man presume to be married saying he can not go and fill gas while the wife is at home. I was surprised because I do this for fun when my late wife was alive (RIP) without reasoning anything even when I'm busy and suddenly gas finish and food is on the cooker bro na my responsibility to go and fill the gas and come back to what I was doing... I no understand

Men with pride won't do it and they end up creating more problems to the existing one

What's the big deal lapping a gas cylinder to a gas station get it filled and take the same okada back

Pride, pride has relagated some men to be less a man

ebuka10box:
I see y'all as family, this forum has helped me a lot so I don't mind airing my problems. I'm a graduate, got no job and things haven't been really good with me this year due to the pandemic. Lotta insults from family and friends ,Lotta you know when you don't have money you don't have a say even IN family. I haven't slept with a prostitute until this year May, I really got depressed and that led me to that. I'm not proud of it but Its now becoming an addiction and done stuff like that 3 times. How can I get peace within?? Really gotta stop visiting brothels cause I don't like the idea of paying for sex and it's immoral. I wanna stop before it goes out of hand

You didn't mention the efforts you have made to get something doing

The role your family played

Going to prostitute is like taking paracetamol for tension headache

Get a girl friend who will accept your condition and make yourself happy having someone to chat with, it's not necessarily for sex but for companionship

If you can pay a prostitute, you can also spend it on your girlfriend

But the most important thing for you now is to get something doing

It's very important

Pls what's the kva and what's your best offer

Marriage list has always been the issue not bride price

There are women all over places, but when it comes to marriage issues, it's a different ball game

You have to constantly read pieta and comments to understand better the choice of women you desire

But I believe you have them just within you and all you need us patient to understand women because they are wired different

emilas1979:
All these On top of One man head!

���������������

1. NEPA don bring bill
2. Buy bread when u are coming
3. Buy Egg when u are coming
4. Gas don finish/kerosene don finish
5. I never do my hair
6a. Generator no gree start
6b. Buy fuel for generator when u are coming
7. Car don get flat tyre, e no gree start
8. School fees don show
9. DStv/GOtv etc don stop to dey show
10. Dem come ask for security money
11. Month don end for Lesson teacher
12. Biscuit and Happy Hour nko?
13. Dem go begin report the children to u as u dey enter
14. If u never build, Landlord /neighbor matter na madooooo
15. Dem go still shook hand for ur pocket pack d small change join..
16. See pikin dey run temperature like say u be doctor...
17a. Buy them credit
17b. Buy them data
18. Not excluding Suya, Cat fish etc on some nights
19. Washing machine,Fridge, pressing iron, fan etc. go stop, another headache..
20. Dem still wan go amusement park o on public holidays
21. How much be the salary sef..

I come go hospital for fever, doctor say I get High BP.
How man no go get High BP..

On top all, you must not disappoint in the inner room..
dem go still give you instruction..
*"honey harder"*

My brothers in the house, let's take it easy......our lives matters.
With or without us, life will continue.
Yahweh bless and be with all men!

And you think some women don't cry in silence

Women are also in this
cooky-jar

Just ask for God's strength to carry on

Encash:
I had introduction. We we're about to do the traditional marriage. Her mother died. I invited the family after two years since her parents are dead one of the distant uncle gave me a bill, including a cow. We opted for a court marriage. It was done.

But this woman is disrespectful. Pastors prophet tell she has a spirit husband. Sometimes I see a man fighting me in the dream. After sex smthing will bit my d..k. 3 times a year. She refused to go for deliverance. She is stubborn and self centered.

Her brothers and sisters are supporting her ill manners. Myself and brothers have gone to the police station once. This is because of the differences. Ok, Come and take your sister I won't see them. She can leave my kids for me or take them along. I do 80percent of the spending, paying house rent for more than 10 years and payment of fees. A frigid woman that hate sex like shit.

People advise I stay because of the kids. But I can't continue like this. I am fed up .

Please advise no insult.

Yes you can stay for your kids, what about your happiness

Well if you can't cope, get another accommodation to stay away from her troubles

Her family knows alot and they are not even helping matters

deemayjee:
My wife and I have been happily married for about six and a half years now. Going all the way back to when we were dating, we talked about how many kids we would want. My wife grew up in a polygamous family, and she always wanted at least three, probably four or five, or even more. She’s got a very nurturing personality, so having many kids fits with her personality very well.

I on the other hand? I had a small family. It was just me and my two younger brothers. I’m also an introvert. I’ve always wanted kids, but probably a pretty hard “two” has always been my desire. I kinda told her back then when we were dating that I could be open to having three, or even four, but that we’d have to live according to our means. That was a fine answer back then. But it’s becoming a lot more real now, almost ten years down the line. We had our daughter about a year after we married, and our son came bundling into the world two years later.

Recently, she has been talking about us having another baby, but I'm very skeptical. I'm satisfied with the two we have - a girl and a boy as I implied earlier - and with the economy, cost of living, education, and today's world we live in generally, I don't think I want another. I want to be able to give my children everything they need in terms of equal time and energy. I look at the time and energy required just to have two kids and still maintain a good marriage… and trying to find some balance being a father with being a husband, with being a professional, and trying to pull back on myself and my career and elsewhere. There are a lot of serious balls that I’m already juggling. The last one I want to drop is a kid.

She, in the other hand, feels it's time for us to have another baby. Her argument is she's getting a little bit, well, not older, but she hoped she’d be done having kids by the time she hit her mid-30’s. She’s 35 now, and our son is now 5 years old, so time is of the essence, she says.

Knowing my wife, if I relent, it will only be a matter of a few years before we start this discussion of yet another baby again. I know she wants a strong home full of laughter and happiness. I know what I need to do in order to give her that and also maintain a level of balance myself, but is having more kids the right answer? I'm contented with the two I already have. The two tykes are a real handful as it is right now; adding a third, to me, seems rather far reaching.

If I relent and we end up having four, five, six kids, and it ends up affecting our lives in the process, am I really giving us what we want to be? Or am I being selfish right now?

You have a point but pls consider one last child

If you don't, she will manipulate you and by the time you know what is happening she is already 5 months gone

But before then, let her have a financial role at home, you can leave feeding for her and one other regular thing like electricity bills while you take care of the rest

When she sees what goes out of the pocket weekly or monthly, she will think twice

Most women who doesn't play a bigger financial role in the family doesn't know what it feels like bearing the burden

omotola224:
Hello my people,
I just bought my Mini bus aka korope, I have put it in a good shape to start work. Everything cost me 1.1m my question is how much can I give it out on hire purchase, how much should be paid weekly( pls note the vehicle will be plying lagos island road it's a very busy market area so I know there will always be work for the driver)

Any other tips to guide me through this whole thing will be highly appreciated.

Thank you as I await your responses.

If you have the time

Drive it for one week and give a proper assessment so that when you give it out, you know your target

It's not a guess work, it's a first hand experience work

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.
This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate. She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it? Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

If you want to forget about it, pls do and be happy

If you think you can't forget about it and she still does worst thing, report to dad and let it be settled

But left for me, forget it and forgive her

We forgive others not because they deserve to be forgiven but because you need peace of mind

Stargurl20:
How do one control one's mouth or better still one's anger as well as ignore unpleasants things being said to one without voicing out, even when one is very angry? I need urgent response please...

It depends on the people around you or the people you are associated with

Best option is to walk away

Walking away keeps your far from troubles

Sususy:
The worst thing is that I don't really know the reason behind such anger and hatred towards me . Most of the time, he accuses me of conniving or conspiring with others to spy on him, and to make his life miserable (truth be told,I don't know what he's talking about), and which is not true,I can't do that as his only sister and only sibling.

I don't really understand this brother of mine! He's an introvert,he doesn't say his mind.You know must of them keeps to themselves. They hardly open up. When he accuses me of that, I try to prove him wrong.

We're both adults. Long time we've had a good conversation. Always avoiding each other despite living together as siblings. I have told my parents about his recent hot temper,my parents adviced him,warn him severally not to destroy things whenever he's angry, but yet! ... God!


I have told my parent I can't endure it any longer, I don't want anything to distract me from my studies, I want to be separated from him. I can't stay with him again. But My parent always give me this excuse, "we don't have money to rent another room for you endure"


But my heart is paining me, I'm now having chest pain because of his wickedness towards me,as the only sister. What crime have I committed that made him to show such wickednss to me? Tell me what's my fault, He will just bounce the door and leave, at least tell me so that I can apologize, noooo

Even though I try to make peace,he won't cooperate. I am fed up with him!
I think he's possess! I need to pack out, some one should help me. I need money to pack out please. I can no longer stay with him. He has disobeyed my parents, right now my mom is depressed cuz of what he did today. This is not the first time of him doing this. He has destroyed plates,
My phone... now my bag.

Please help me with money to pack please because that's the only option right now. Have tried other ways, I try to be quiet, I mind the way I talk to him for peace to rain but what he just did confuses me me. What should I do now Please I'm in pain. This phone is no longer working, it's gone! Help me!

You have to move out to your parents until they get an accommodation for you

That guy doesn't nerd you neither does he want any one in particular

Just be fast about it before you your worst fears

He wants to be in his own world, honestly

Made4naijalove:
Nigerian Guy Plans With Police To Fake his Own Arrest to give his boo A Surprise Marriage Proposal

Watch video below


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEvivSOev0Y

Romantic and scary

Mama4dworld:
Hello everyone... please advice me.

My landlord is ignoring me.

My house is leaking.... very very badly. I have complained to him on several occasions and he has done absolutely nothing about it.
I have been experiencing this issue since the rain started this year.

And this man doesn't give a damn about it.

When it rains everywhere will be soaked.

NB: I moved in during the dry season last year. This is something I wouldn't have known.

What can I do...I really want him to pay for this...it is sincerely not fair...the worst part of everything is...he doesn't care.

What can I do??

Politely go to him with anyone in the street that gets close to him

Tell him again about the leakage you and I knows he will not respond

Simply wait and hear what he will say, after that, tell him you will look for money to repair it and deduct it from you next rent

Worst case he will increase the rent, it's your choice to stay there or not

Never quarrel with your landlord, just avoid the devil

If not for money, how could this man had successfully handled this family with everyone looking kinky

This is the kind of polygamous family I support not the wretched ones ndi na akpo isi n'ala are practicing

Abdulhakeem78:
Youhave correctly said it well, Ma!!!

Thanks for the acknowledgement

IJOBA2:
SHE LOVES GOVERNOR SEYI MAKINDE SO MUCH AND CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE HIM ON HER BED SOON

Senseless statement from a stupid guy

Abdulhakeem78:
Governor Sanwo-Olu and Professor Abayomi have done a lot of work since the outset of the pandemic, and I am extremely proud of the great job that is coming out of their everyday effort in Lagos. God bless the duo!!! Aameen.....

They did exactly what is expected of them

Any thing short of that will be uncontrollable and the state with its residents will suffer more

Castrate the idiot

May his soul rest in peace, what a pain he must have passed through while alive

liltee123:
Miss Maduafokwa Agnes Egoagwuagwu is currently trending following the unveiling of her details after she had the highest JAMB score in 2020 UTME.

Miss Agnes emerged as the candidate with the highest UTME score for the year 2020 after she scored 365 out of 400.

She is the President of the Maths Club, and the 1st Assistant Head Girl of Louisville Girls High School Ijebu-Itele in Ogun State.

She wants to study Engineering, where she can apply mathematical concepts in solving societal challenges.

Agnes hails from Ihiala in Anambra State and she wrote her UTME on March 14th 2020 in St Michael Otedola Education Centre in Epe, Lagos State.

Recall that weeks ago, GistReel had published a list of Top 10 candidates with the highest JAMB scores in 2020 UTME.

She scored 72 in Use of English, 99 in Mathematics, 99 in Physics and 95 in Chemistry 95.

Maduafokwa applied to study Industrial Production Engineering at the prestigious University of Ibadan, Oyo State.

Her details were first spilled by All School NG, an online school portal dedicated to helping students with school related information and has continued to go viral since then.

See her picture below;

https://1knews.com/meet-miss-madu-agnes-girl-with-the-highest-2020-jamb-score/

Assuming we are in an organised society

Most schools will invite her even without post utme

Nemere2020:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/punchng.com/breaking-ajimobi-buried-in-ibadan-amid-tight-security/%3famp=1

So corana corpse can now be released to families or is it only for the rich families

Rest in peace, your wish of dying at 70yrs really came to pass

Firstandonly:
Pastors in the house is it bad to adopt a child?

This is not a matured question honestly

If you want to know if it's good or bad, pray to be in a situation that will make you see it as the only way out

Nonsense and stupid question

TheRealProphet:
Is Joseph the biological father of Jesus? No.

Adopt if you can take good care of the child.

And please, refrain from asking dumb que...it's annoying.

Good reply

I will never touch this thing with my bare hands, never ❗