₦airaland Forum

sirciao:
Hello everyone
Have been pondering on this over the years and I think i need wider view and advice on this.
I'm from a family of 6 my father separated from my mom several years ago and remarried another woman and has several other side babes
now he paid our school fees wen we wer in uni but has neglected every other aspect of fatherhood.
we hardly see him because he stays in a different state
He did a court marriage with only my mom. so please what can we do because its becoming unbearable, i decided to concentrate on my self and hussle but its getting unbearable seeing your father with so much money squander it for another woman,side chicks,church etc and neglecting his very own family.
The last straw is he wants to stop paying rent for my mom claiming he has no money due to covid 19 but i got Intel that he just rented an apartment for another side chick. he will retire very soon and his gratuity should be nothing less than 30 m. He has no property for his children only a huz in the village and several cars he lavishes money on.
What can we do to salvage this situation
should we continue to look on as he waste his money and neglecting my mom that started life with him.
Can my mom file for divorce and will she get any benefit from it.
Can we the children out rightly sue him for neglect?
Mods please help push to front page so i can get wider contribution
please share your experience if you have a similar case like mine and how you tackled it..

The system we have in Nigeria is a naughty system in the sense that, if you sue him, the court will ask for his pay slip and whatever is written there, the court will decide how he will share it

Just assume you don't have a dad, honestly

He will reap his own very soon

Let your mum try to pay the rent if she can and if she can't, you guys have to look for another accommodation which can be paid without stress

The house he has in the village belongs to your family and the other woman family so it's not for your mum alone

If you sue him, it will be a negative news to your kindred and families, they will see you as a scoundrel

Just move on with your struggle and keep communicating with him if you guys have access to him

Leave him very soon he will retire and all his powers will be broken

scokoro:
Hello my good people of Nairalanders.
I have this family friend who is a single mother of one. She called last week to ask for my assistance and that she is losing her mind. I tried to ask her if she has complained to her husband. She bluntly told me they are no more that they are filing documentations for proper divorce. I told her there and then that the trauma she is experiencing could be as a result of fail(ing)ed marriage. I tried to make her understand that emotions attached to marriage is so strong that they can make anyone (both male and female) feel depressed when it is no longer working like planned (being married for over a decade myself). Rewind back in 2017, her husband left for the East to get a job (People come to the west to look for greener pasture and his is the other way round). I asked why she agreed to that unwholesome decision at the detriment of her young son (she said it was for interest of her family. Then, I would often call her to ask about Oga, all I got was that he was OK. It was when I knew that something was going wrong. This lady is working with the new generation bank.

In all she tried to convince me that the doctors say it's depression and diabetes. OK. Please go to the hospital and try follow the doctrines of managing diabetes and bounce back to health. She calls me to ask if I know any pastor that could help her and that she is sensing it is spiritual. I try as much as possible to encourage her that everything will be Ok if she prays harder.

She sounds troubled always and I think she is not having a peaceful life? I have read stories of how people complain to their loved ones how they feel and after a while they either take their own lives or kill people around them. Mental illness is a very serious thing in Nigeria.
Does anyone know what she can do to get better? Whatever advice you give can help out at this time matters so much to other reading this. We don't want to lose anyone in the fight against mental illness.

The truth is that everything around her has failed her, especially marriage and the guy she is married to

Now she is depressed and sees herself as being alone in the world

Even the presence of her son is no longer making an impact on her quite unlike other women that will take solace in their children

The good thing in her own case is that she is working so she goes out and comes in

I will suggest you visit her, spend weeks with her or she visits you spends time with you

She is already depressed no doubt but that visit will make her feel loved and happier

Marriage this days shouldn't be taken to heart or taken serious, bitter things are happening these days and no one knows why

She really need to stay with some one be it a man or a woman

She needs a companion and if she can get a lover and engage in sex and romance, she will be good from in to out

ijustdey:
https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/399138-covid-19-nigeria-police-rescue-over-600-workers-locked-for-three-months-in-rice-factory.html

Since the manager said he is not aware, he will be informed in the court

Ignorance is not an excuse

May God drive away any thoughts of suicide in any one's life

Even the way things are going naw, no one knows what's going on again

StagethemTVee:
Steve Bing, an American producer, philanthropist, and writer has died by suicide at the age of 55. According to TMZ, he died on Monday June 22nd after jumping from the 27th floor of a luxury apartment building in L.A.'s Century City neighborhood. Sources told the publication that he had been suffering from depression due to lack of human contact during quarantine.

Bing, who founded Shangri-La Entertainment inherited a fortune of some $600 million from his grandfather, L.A. real estate developer Leo S. Bing.
After dropping out of University, Bing pursued a career in Hollywood and became the executive producer of the Sylvester Stallone film, "Get Carter," in 2000.

In 2003, he co-wrote the action-comedy “Kangaroo Jack,” and he also contributed to “Missing in Action” and wrote an episode of “Married With Children.” The philanthropist later invested some $80 million in “The Polar Express,” the Tom Hanks-voiced 2004 film directed by Robert Zemeckis. Bing had producing credits on films including “CSNY/Deja Vu,” “Rock the Kasbah,” “Get Carter,” “Girl Walks Into a Bar” and a Jerry Lee Lewis documentary in the works.

Bing is survived by his two children, Damian Hurley from his relationship with Elizabeth Hurley and daughter Kira Bonder, who he had with former pro tennis player Lisa Bonder.

Source: https://www.tmz.com/2020/06/22/kangaroo-jack-writer-steve-bing-dead-suicide/

Even his two children, non bears his name

But why go through torture with pains to die, when he can just take sniper

NEWBIN:
We have known each other for about six months now. I proposed to her in March 2020 and kept telling me she was thinking about it.

Just yesterday, she said yes to my proposal and I was so excited. When I met her yesterday evening, she told me Friday (June 26) is her birthday and that, she expects a lot of gifts and mobile money from me. My bowels became full instantly so left to go ease myself.

I have lost interest. Show me a way to outsmart this fraudster of a lady, thanks.

Are you scared of her request

Anyway the best way is don't do her biddings

Let's see if heaven will fall

But if you are looking for a woman you will date but will not make request, you can on the condition that you don't take her to bed

udopee:
It's very unfortunate nowadays how our ungrateful society has given women negative tags which are unbefitting.
If you are Unmarried: She is irresponsible, not resourcesful and worthless.

Single and successful: She is chasing away all potential suitors..or must being ‘funded’ unholy, not wife-material⁣ (just wondering how many yards of materials will do for her to qualify)

Married: She is her husband’s property and should no longer have anything that vaguely resembles ‘fun’, baby making factory, she shouldn’t be wearing cloths she used to wear when single.⁣ ⁣

Divorced: She can’t keep a man, she is not submissive, the man could no longer endure her⁣. ⁣

Separated: She is out of control. No sane man fit in for her or can tolerate her excesses. ⁣

Widowed: She must have killed her husband….. to take over his assets and properties. ⁣

Tries to get on with life after widowhood: She didn’t mourn her late hubby for long enough. How suspicious? How inappropriate? How unacceptable! ⁣ ⁣

Childless Marriage: She is barren; she must have destroyed her womb through abortions. ⁣ ⁣

Rich and independent: She is a prostitute, she flirts around for money.

Child misbehaves: It is all the mother’s fault because she spoilt him/her, she doesn't know how to train children,

Plays sports: She shouldn’t; she’s a girl. ⁣

Speaks her mind: She is bossy; not a good trait for a woman, she doesn't have proper home training.

Spouse cheats: It’s her fault. She caused him to it, she pushed him to the wall.

Victim of rape: What time was it? Where was she? What was she wearing?. ⁣

"WHY ARE WOMEN BLAMED FOR EVERY WRONG THING AND HARDLY APPRECIATED FOR THE RIGHT ONES? ⁣

Real women that understand what it means to be a woman should own their sense of personal value. Don't let people in the world convince you that the role of a woman is a powerless and useless thing.

Decide to be a complete woman in love with her life and her God. As you become complete in God's Love, you will find yourself more satisfied than you have ever been. You are not relying on anyone for validation or your happiness.

"AFTER ALL, YOU HAVE GOT PRINCIPLES"

#FRESH_DEW
#HEAVENS_DEW

Honestly, you said the fact

It's in this part of the world they see women as sex objects

Men sees themselves as god on earth

But the good thing is that, civilisation is making things getting better for women

My advice is you as a woman, raise your heads high and be resourceful, respect your self and stop seeing men as atm, work harder and become the best a man will desire. Take care of your personal responsibilities and you will rule

Live your self and take charge of your happiness

Forget about what people will say, just listen to your conscience

SultanOfAbia:
This girl just fvcked up my paroles
I don't know how on Earth this girl can hack my insta,WhatsApp and telegram. Wtf??
She hacked into my Instagram account last night and changed the password.
She is threatening to release all my chats even my nudes with some girls in insta.

I have some clients that are following my Instagram page. My boss too
This owerri girl want to destroy me.
I'm thinking of reporting the insta page so they can block it.
But it will affect my business. What should I do??

If you are very sure if your claims and you have a prove, take her to the police station and let her write an undertaker that she will never do anything of such to tarnish your image

If you are still in talking terms lure her to the police station

If you are no longer in talking terms, report her and let her be arrested

What she wants to do is to assassinate your character and defamation of person

It's against the law

tega2luv:
[b][/b]please my fellow NLs , what are the ways or rather a step one can take to avoid getting a girlfriend.

This is one of lives simple steps

Stay away from seeing girls, visiting girls, starting a conversation with girls that may leed to love matters

Be firm when dealing with them and don't go beyond good morning

Know your areas of conversation, let it be purely academics or political matters anything beyond this, you are closer than the distance

Bar1941:
Once you couldn't prove the reason I gave as the motive behind her bizarre action was wrong then why are you saying otherwise?

Asking me to go and ask her implies how primitive and childish you could be, afterall I only expressed my opinion from my experience in life, but if you have a counter opinion you should state it in a polite manner without being unruly.

Were you polite in your first response

Go and read it again

dre11:
Police arrest man, wife over assault on Ex -lover



https://thenationonlineng.net/police-arrest-man-wife-over-assault-on-ex-lover/

Photo: Mr and Mrs Osas Onyeokweni

Mad and crazy couple

Bar1941:
Then why on earth should a person wish death to a fellow human being not to talk of ones husband?

It's better to locate the woman and find out the reason from her

Wishing death is still better than to kill

If you read well, you will see where I mentioned that she should have walked away instead

Herbephe1:
He really wants death?? did you go through the post?? the woman should be blamed for being unfaithful.

What about the men that have been unfaithful, who ever harassed them, or is it allowed for men to be unfaithful

This man should have died alone since he really want death

Lostz:
hmmm!

what could wrong? why not kill only yourself since you are the one tired of living

Exactly ❗

Philip1914:
Oga stop listening and reading information online and on the book.

What you read in book is not what it is. I am under IPPIS our union recently Joined IPPIS. I am a non-teaching staff in one of Nigeria Universities. I can tell you IPPIS since we entered this payment system it's hasn't favoured us. Allowance, minimum wage, and promotion increament has not been received. And there is nothing we can do about it. And that is why the union has agreed to embark on strike after the lockdown.

My salary has been reduced by 7k since we entered this thing.

You are not the only in this

Most federal servants salaries was reduced

Promotion arrears not paid

Isn't it time you realise that all those extras are going off

Just get your promotion and wait till January to get the reflection on your salary

Bar1941:
Ugly woman, she must be getting a sweeter dîck elsewhere thus desperately wanted the innocent poor husband dead.

That's not true, that a woman is getting a better dick is not enough reason to eliminate her husband

The worst she will do is to pack out

Who wants to shade another person's blood because of dick, who does that

Only this woman knows what's in her mind

jericco1:
It's high time these people realise that striking is an outdated way of getting what you want in this country. Always striking yet nothing good has ever come out of it

So what do you suggest since strike is out dated?

aspiring44:
Something must be wrong with him mental wise.

They will have to evaluate him psychologically

Honestly ❗

seunlayi:
is this what you people on govt believed they need? Give them better food, medicals, vocational skills, beds, etc Staying behind the wall is enough torment for them, let the correction tools that will impact positive changes in them have effect on them, stop hardening a soft criminal

Have you ever thought of what they did that made them leave the comfort of their home to go and suffer themselves there?

Thats how they use others destiny to manipulate theirs

It's believed he own that house and tell me, what will make him club his children if not what he puts his hand into

rodeo0070:
https://brandspurng.com/2020/06/21/lagos-recorded-zero-boat-mishap-in-the-last-six-months-laswa-boss/

l

If they continue to use this boat, the rate of accidents will be next to zero

Benite:
https://punchng.com/breaking-resident-doctors-suspend-nationwide-strike-2/

How I wish that government should understand that you don't owe doctors and teachers

Honestly, these are the main people that makes the existence of human to be worthy of living

Jheimz:
A 32-Year-Old Ugandan lady called Lulu Jemimah got married to herself. True love and Relationships learnt that with just $2.62 she was able to get married to herself.

Her decision to marrying herself was as a result of parental pressure. Jemimah made the decision to marry herself in other to concentrate in her studies as a Master’s degrees student at Oxford University, England.

Her wedding only cost her $2.62, the amount she spent on transportation to the venue of the wedding. Her friend hired the wedding gown for her as a birthday present, her brother baked her wedding cake and the guests all paid for their individual bills at the bar where the ceremony took place. However, it is not clear whether the wedding was done by a religious minister or not.

RELATED: I'D RATHER BE ME

“My father wrote my wedding speech when I turned 16. Every birthday, my mother prays for me and in recent years this has included a plea for a good husband. Someone to take care of me. I decided to put them all at ease. I got married on my 32nd birthday to the one person I am certain will take care of me.” She said.




She did the wedding on her Birthday in company of some friends who wished her happy married life and Happy Birthday.

Visit: https://trueloveandrelationships..com/2020/06/the-32-year-old-lady-who-became-first.html

Her choice
Her business

Our observations

sholarr12:
Perhaps, because of the AC you dozed off? Or you didn't sleep well at night and that made you doze off?

Share your experience.

Any one that takes a nap for whatever reason during interview, is ill prepared

That's a stupid act

I think what we have is a repetitions of bad characters from family members which resulted to be passed from one to another of the same family

Once a man is a thief, he is likely to breed a thief because he has been cursed that as he steals, his children will still and be caught


Even our fore fathers were more careful with humans because the tradition will fight them if they do evil

But now, everyone has gone to the city where there are no tradition and starts behaving like stay cows, causing pains in people's lives

Most of what we regards as cursed are the things we bring upon ourselves

If we respect ourselves and hold ourselves, our troubles will be lesser

You left the major things and was posting things that makes some people crazy because of choice of life style

Rape is a sin

Robbery is a sin

Kidnapping is a sin

Killing is a sin

Crime is a sin

Manipulating people is a sin

Character assassination is a sin

This one's are caused by man which causes pains to another man

While the one's you mentioned are done by man to satisfy his selfish desires

Tell me how this man will ever get poor if he should build the Lords house for those who serve God and he is not even a member of the parish but pure Catholic faith

coputa:
you got it right,that's the deal.

My dear, wetin person no go see for marriage

Onyi22:
Regina Daniel is a Bea, she dumps her ex boyfriend and got married to a Multi billionaire, that's exactly what a wise lady would do..
Dump him!! I repeat, dump his useless ugly broke ass when u see a richer guy/man than him..
Don't be deceive that "things will get better" he's a bloody lier.
Don't die before ur death with a miserable, frustrated guy that has refused to make money.
Finally my sister, Marry money because Love na scam..

You must have a reason for this mind set

Not being your husband only wife comes with secret pains despite the presence of money

In as much as its her business to marry anyone that she likes

If bed should get another junior wife, she will feel the emotional pain

Money is really not every thing