₦airaland Forum

KiNg0G:
I'm dieing deep within me every time money comes my way. Just know it's time for me to suffer throughout that week. I lodge a hotel, carry women buy drugs and start gambling on sporty bet until I'm drained financially, physically few days before I come back to my senses with not a single one naira in my account. I feel like I'm cursed to be rich with no peace of mind. But when all the money is gone, I can manage 1k and cook food, eat well, drink water... but give me 1million. That's when my suffering start...I forget to eat or think just back to my suffering ways. I can't help it

I have prayed to God to make me poor for life because it's yet again another suffering when money comes my way

Nlfpmod

Go and get married, women have ways of resetting men like you

Make sure you marry a prudent and conservative person

Nataliace:
I have been married for five years and my marriage yielded two beautiful kids.

We were living peacefully with my husband untill last year did things started turning strange.

My mother-in-law came to spend the Christmas holiday with us and since then she hasn't left. This year my sister-in-law came and this is where everything became worse.

They always lie to my husband and say unprintable things about me. This made my husband to start treating me badly. I tried to let him remember how we lived prior to their coming but he wouldn't listen to me. Life is becoming unbearable for me. I don't want what will destroy my marriage.

I just want to get my marriage back on track and win my husband's love and care towards me.

For them to Move into your home is not really the best especially now that the economy is tough

Assuming your husband can afford to feed them with out asking you for a penny, let him be providing the foods and toiletries, let them lavish it and he will now feel the pains and cost of keeping them

Just be watching the movie

But if you are the one feeding them, let him know that you are feeling the weight of spending on them and it's affecting you already

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.
After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.
Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit. After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing. Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast. I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving. My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.
I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them. She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them. For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.
Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.
Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned. Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point. When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, I can't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all. My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.
I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

Having read what you posted, I feel the emotional pains you are going through

The only place am going to blame you was the in ability to tolerate them your in laws from day one

They gave you heat and you returned the heat without thinking twice if really you can face them all

You dont really understand their family settings and why all of them are interested in their son

As it is now, you are not a threat to them but they are all a threat to you and your peace in the marriage

You have already prove to them that you are equally as crazy as they are

I think at this point, you have to drop the war weapons and start calming down for them

Talk to your husband if you can, so that he will reconcile you and them, by organizing a good reconciliation meeting for that peace to reign in your marriage, in laws and your life

Once that is done, you will experience absolute peace of mind and you will now be free to relate with them and see them as your own family

Pls look into it so that you too can have peace of mind and your child will have a good sense of feelings with them

If they all decides to gang against you and send you out, your husband will just be confused but will still stand with them because he alone can't marry you

adeniyi65:
Good moment to all Nairalanders. As the topic has illustrated.am in love with a lady under 25 years of age. She do complain about abdomen pain to me for quite months ago.she is madly in love with me than my expectation.am planning to tie the knut in few years to come but am bothered about our future on the issue of her health status consigning the appendix.she is going for a surgery to get it removed this week and i have given her the required strength to motivate her to do it because she fears to be operated.
My bone of contention is now this: wouldn't she has perennial attributed health related risk on herself in the future. Second. Wouldn't our prospective offspring shares from her health issues through gene or blood.
Please help a bothered brother earnestly.

Appendicitis can develop on any ones body at anytime

So it has nothing to do with the persons personal health unless when it's not operated upon

So if you develop hynea now, would that be a treath to your health as a man, well yes if not operated upon

Stop all these fears, no one on earth is guaranteed of good health in this life because the air we breath the food we all eat are already contaminated

UncleSuru:
We were colleagues.
She's obese.
She's older than I am.
She got pregnant for me.
I accepted.
She had a boy.
I told her I wanted the baby and not marriage and she accepted.

She got a job and she's taking good care of my boy even as I perform my responsibilities: feeding, school fees and all.

It hurts me that we don't stay together. I go to see my boy and I wish to stay longer. I really want to bond with my boy.

This lady is okay aside the obesity and the age factor. She doesn't even argue with me and we're cool. She'll be proud to show me to her people as a young man but I'm not proud to show her to my own people because she looks twice my age. She's my best friend. None of those young girls can stand her in terms of character. I really wish I can love her. It hurts more having that thought of having children with different women. It really hurts.

You are likely going to loose a woman that is meant for you

But the time you get a slim lady with bad attitude, then you will run out to look for your baby mama

Whats actually wrong with settling down with her, you can't eat your cake and have it

What a man needs most in relationship is peace of mind and respect

tomi4life:
So, I am not new to nairaland, I only created a new account so i can post and remain annonymous.

I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

I think she turns the Bible upside down whenever she is reading it because I don't understand

Maybe you didn't get her well when she said it's best you guys dissolve this marriage.

You are the one into this marriage and not her

Let me stop at this point

Samantha124:
I have two brothers-in law and the first one started dating my sister while still in high school, him and I have that good brother and sister relationship. Sometimes we can even spent about 30 minutes talking over the phone and discussing about life in general and him telling me about the kids, that's how close we are.

As for the second brother In law, he started dating my sister while she was still in college, him and I have had a bit of differences in past because he has a drinking problem and I sometimes just don't like the way he behaves when he's drunk. But I accepted him as my brother in law because my sister loves him despite his drinking problem.

The main problem with my second brother in law started back in 2021, we were having a party at home and I decided to go to bed before everyone because I was tired. It happened that this brother in law of mine was drunk and he started embarrassing my sister and she decided to take him to the other room in the house and asked him to stay there. I was in my room sleeping, but not yet asleep when my room door opened and at first I thought it was just my mom, or one of my aunts or cousins. I expected the person to switch on the light since I switched it off, but this person started walking towards my bed. I lifted my head to check who it was and I found out that it was my second brother in law, I immediately dismissed him from my room.

I told everyone about it the following day except my father and my then boyfriend, who's now my fiance and they all laughed it off and said he was just drunk and lost, that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. Fine, I let it go... Last year in August a close relative of ours was getting married and everyone traveled home to prepare for the wedding.

A day before the wedding my parents and two sisters decided that they were going to spent the night at the relative's place as they were help preparing for the wedding the following day, but I and my other sister were told to go home with our nephews and nieces... Later in the evening my sister brought my brother in law to the house and he had started embarrassing her again because he was drunk.. I was already in my room when they arrived, though I was not asleep, I decided to go and check on them because I can't stand my brother in law whenever he's drunk.... Apparently my sister immediately prepared a room for him to sleep in but he turned it down and said he was okay with sleeping on the couch in the living room... The room used to be previously my sister's before she got married and it's a bit far from the living room.

But mine is close to the living room, after he refused to go to the room that was prepared for him, my sister ended up giving him a blanket to sleep on the couch and she drove back to the relative's place. Everything seemed fine and we all went to sleep. While I was in my sleep I could hear some footsteps but at first it was like a dream, but then they started sounding like they were getting closer and they started to sound real... I immediately woke up and found my brother in law standing on my side of the bed, I jumped up from the bed and asked him what was he doing in my room, but he started apologizing and told me of how he thought it was the bathroom.

I was so scared I kicked him out of my room and locked the door, I checked the time and it was around 2am.. I Immediately called my sister and explained to her what her husband did and asked her to come and fetch him because he was scaring me... But she told me to just lock the door and don't mind him... I couldn't get some sleep since then and he came back to the door at around 4am and attempted to open it again, but it was locked.

In the morning I waited for him to leave the house first before I could get out of my room, I told the sister I was with in the house about it and she suggested that I tell Mom because Dad was going to overreact... I then told Mom and she said she'll see what she can do, I was hoping that she'll warn him about it, but to my surprise, she didn't do anything about it... I was hurt, but I let it go, again.

I could've told my fiance about it, but I didn't because I knew that there was going to be a fight if I did, and I didn't want a fight.

Now this past Thursday we traveled home for Easter and I was so happy to see my family again... As usual, we had a family chillax on Friday and everyone came through to hangout, this time my fiance was also there.. later in the afternoon I decided to go take a nap and I left everyone outside, as I was napping, I felt someone touch me and at first I thought maybe it was my fiance... I was shocked when I found out that it was my brother in law and he was trying to have his way with me but fortunately, I managed to screaming and everyone came running.

A fight broke out between him and my fiance and I was so scared because my brother in law is the kind of a person who likes carrying a gun with him, but they were separated... My father got to find out that I complained to my mom before about my brother in law, but she didn't do anything about it and now he's mad at my mom for letting things get this far.

Now the family is divided... I love my sister, nephews and niece, I don't want to cut ties with them because of her husband and their father, but I don't know how I'm going to do it because I don't want anything that has to do with my brother in law.. Some say I should press charges for attempted rape, while others say that I should let the family elders intervene... I'm still confused right now, I don't know what to do.

I just can't help but feel guilty that if I had told my Dad about the whole thing from 2021, all of this would've been prevented.

You just have to make it a police case for documentation purposes, incase it takes a worst turn

This is not the first and won't be the last he will be attempting such

You just have to distance yourself from him and give keep at arms length

Forget about what your family will say, if that guy have his way to rape you because that's his target, you may become pregnant

Will you keep the pregnancy and loose your own boyfriend

Or you will abort it and still loose your boyfriend

That he gets drunk and do nonsense and gets away with it makes it easier for him because you keep tolerating a lot of abuse from him without taking any action to deal with him

You and your boyfriend have to report this matter to the police let's see if that will stop those nonsense

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.

The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.

My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.

The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭

I don't think you need another stress after going through your pregnancy stress

Follow your heart

kyber:
This girls broke up with me through text message,so I called her and pretended not to see the message, she even asked me if I saw the message but I denied it. She didn’t say anything more, she told me to check my message and anytime she asks if I saw it I told her no that I haven’t.
I Refused To Accept The Breakup Untill She Started Flaunting Her New Guy

Please what do I do now ?
Why couldn’t she tell me to my face?
Or does she still love me ?

You are even lucky she gave you notice before acting

The next time she will break it you may hate going into relationship

Just move on

Rtk4:
She said she is tired of the marriage, That the it thing that has been keeping her in the marriage all these while is just the children. She said she wants to leave but she swore to God that if she leaves and i fail to cater for the children, she will take me to human right and other relevant agencies. Please what do you think about this guys and what advice would you give me cos I'm also tired of the marriage.

There is an issue or some issues that has never been handled in that family and now it's to has grown to a toxic stage

Ash the man what the problem is, if he can't say anything his wife has a lot to say

Radicool:
Four days ago,i was damn high on some local brew and really wanted to-you know...But she wouldn't let me have a go.No explanation-just that blatant denial.I let it pass without any rancour.Last night in bed,she went half-clad,i didnt look.Again she went completely unclothed,i burried my head in a book.
"Honey,there is heat oo!'she cried.
'Really? I thought the windows are opened."
"There is heat-can't you see that am naked?'
I laughed inwardly.I knew what she wanted.Just decided to 'punish' her for what she did four days ago.I wanted her to say it with her mouth but she won't-at least,she never did.I later gave her what she wanted after i got tired of her palava.
But then i wonder,why do women,housewives speficically,act in parables when they need sex from their partners?
Are all women like that?

I think because they are women and they hardly talk about sex, so that the world won't see her as a bad girl

They have the ability to surpress sex more than men

Most times they don't think about sex the way men does

Sex in women are attached by emotions
So if she is very happy and in an excited to she can show some signs

But if she is not in the mood or something is disturbing her she will never think toward that direction

In a not shell, her mood determines if sex will occur

render01:
I've known my best friend since my 200L in the University. We are like sisters, always together. Last month was weird between us. She started avoiding me and so when I confronted her yesterday, she opened up to me that she has a crush on me and she doesn't know when it started and why it had to me.

She has a boyfriend. I was speechless and she started crying. It was like a movie. My brain is still processing. I just went home to my family house hoping by the time I returned, we'd talk things out like Adults.
Did I do the wrong thing but leaving?

You did well by going home for weekend

But she is still waiting die you to put things into action

Bear in mind that she has been a lesbian even before she knows you

So if you want to practice such dirty relationship, then one day you will definitely be stranded amd worst than her

As it is now, start avoiding her before she pulls you into it

ufotty2001:
Is it right to set up a lady after Marriage. I keep asking myself these questions.
At 28yrs as a lady u don't have a career?
What have you been doing for the past 15yrs
I met a beautiful girl yesterday with good character but she has no career or any business ideas. She told me that she will love to go to school..I love this girl and I wish to marry her but my problem is that I want to enroll her in University. I keep asking her what have you been doing when you were young.? She said that her parents are poor.. that they were unable to enroll her in University

If you really love her, you can marry her and after giving birth to the number of children you can send her to school or open trade for her

So many girls are not happy being in such situations but because of their poor background, they find themselves in that situation

teekay213:
is it not possible for someone to be right in the midst of several people? My late dad always take my sides when he was alive main reason for this hate later my mum but he(the first son) won my mom over and other siblings though I still talk with my younger sister once in a while

Am very sure you already know what to do

teekay213:
come to think of it... they are ladies wishing they don't meet their mother-in-law alive or their husband family...how do you explain this

He was specific about his entite family is so he has issues on his own

For the ladies that wishes they don't meet their mother in law

Same way her son's wife to be will wish same

So we are talking about different people in the family

teekay213:
My family is evil.

My siblings 2 male(older) and 1younger female and a male has hated me so much and did so many bad things that they now turn our mom against me.

If I should start telling you the evil they did to me it will take a lot of time but what I did was to cut myself from them so they will not harm me ...but to my surprise they have persuaded my mother that was on my side before to ditch me, she doesn't pick or call me again and I know it's the work of them.

But this is the question, is it possible to get married without involving them like will the lady I want to get married to and her family accept me without my own family when it's time for me to get married?.

For the whole members of your family to be against you

Then you have an issue

Get a family friend to reconcile all of you

No woman or her family will accept marriage from you without the knowledge of your family and involvements

Pls go back to the drawing board

AliEzeOlu:
So before the COVID era, I worked as a marketer in one of the multinationals in Lagos state.

One day, my work took me to a Federal Government establishment in the state for a presentation.

When I was done with the presentation, I happened to meet a lady who worked there. She opted to patronize me, and we got talking.

I must say I had a crush on her but was turned back when I discovered she had a baby out of wedlock. She and her baby daddy weren't together as at the time we met (I don't know if they've gotten back together now, or If they are now married). As a result, I never told her of my feelings.

Years later, I lost contact with her. Am out of the company where I used to work when we met. I've been wondering how I can get reconnected to her.

But as fate would have it, just recently, she called me on the phone to ask how I was doing. I felt stupefied. This was someone whose number I've longed to have.

She's the kind of woman I want to marry.

Now again, I didn't reveal my feelings to her. However, I have saved her number now. The question is, should I just call her and open up my feelings for her?

She still works in Lagos, while I've relocated to a core northern state.

Please my people, how do I go about this? I still feel the same way I felt years ago.

How do I start to tell her my feelings when, for years, I didnt call her at once. Won't it be like I only feign feelings for her because she called me to ask about my wellbeing?

How do I even Start? Honestly I'm lost

Someone please give me a clue

I am still wondering what's difficult about telling her how you feel about her

Anyway invite her over but make sure you send Tfare to her for the visit and her going back

When she comes the atmosphere will speak for itself

josephm456:
Good morning nairalanders,I hope your night was good and great.please I need your help and advice at this stage I am.
There’s this girl I’ve being dating close to 4years now.,I travelled down here to Netherlands to seek for greener pasture so to have a good life for me and her even my family as a whole.,because I have much plans for i and her.,she’s in her 400lv and about to graduate.I even paid for her cake business and other training she’s doing.,rented her a new apartment and give her most of my things.because i already have it in mind that once I’m back we can get a flat in Lagos and atleast I’ll still have most my things back in our house,so she can be doing her business in Lagos pending the time we will both move to canada,but I haven’t tell her we will be going to canada but I preamble it sometimes,so last week my mind have being disturbing me to try to check her Instagram.,so I checked her Instagram and I noticed this girl is cheating on me.,it was so painful that I cried my ass out..i cried so hard that I can’t even work for 2days because I trusted this girl with everything.,her mom intervened and keep begging me,even her brother,because both parents already know each other,and she’s trying not to make that relationship of parents break,she also pleaded and I forgive her.,she said she did it out of emotions I don’t know what that means though,which she said it will never happen again,accusing me for the fact that I don’t make calls or something.I work alot of hours and still I still try to give this girl that much attention.,I was actually planning to come home again by august.,I’m satisfying this girl with all her needs both financially and all.,but what baffles me most was that whenever I ask if she blocked this guy.,she will say they are no more talking that atleast I’m seeing it all because she thinks I scanned her WhatsApp which is not true.,I only have her Instagram login and that’s all.,and I angrily logged out the Instagram because i was really broken that day.
So yesterday we have a little issue,because I noticed she was kind of replying me with attitudes and I asked what’s the attitude all about.,so I just leave her alone on her own,she then sent me a message last night that she knows I’m purposely giving her attitude because I’m seeing her chats and I don’t know how to say it out.,that I’m free to feed my eyes and read her chats very well,i actually don’t know what she mean by that statement plus I didn’t even scan her WhatsApp,I only logged in her IG.,I’m just pained have being doing things for this girl for the past 3years and it’s even 4yrs already.,I don’t just know what to do.,her mom suffers HBP and she likes me so much,because she doesn’t ever want me to leave her daughter,when this event happened she would keep disturbing me with calls and and begging almost everyday panicking that I should forgive her and it won’t happen again.,I really do love this girl soo much to the extent that whenever we have an issue I’m always very down.,but now I’m just confused on what to do,but nairalanders I really need your help on what to do.,this thing is giving me a serious problem her birthday is coming soon which I’m planning not to gift her anything,I’m not even okay at this point.
I will be dropping the chat below.👇no insult please.,all I need is your observation and advice,thanks,and sorry if my grammar isn’t good enough.thanks in advance.

You love her more and she knows that

She loves you but doesn't respect your relationship with her

Now my question to you is, how prepared is this lady for which ever level you are taking this relationship too

Or because her mom loves you, do she will be the one to oil the relationship

I think you should ghost her let's see if she will search or get worried about you not communicating with her

She said you should feed your eys on her messages, well be prepared to see more things that will turn you off

EastAlchemist:
Lol op take time
Be alone
It’s between you and your God now
That was how you came
That is how it should be
That is how you will go
You need it
You will come out stronger and better

Dey play

Trendygurly:
If you were like me thinking Abortion will make your life feel better then you’re in for a depressing ride!!.
I terminated a 6weeks old pregnancy because I didn’t want it
Hmmmm
I was being foolish and hopeless
Now I’m so regretting my actions
I feel so suicidal and the only way I can cope is by leaving it here. I’m such a selfish demon!!!
The gentleman responsible for it accepted it with all his might and Love but because of the demon In me I went ahead to tamper and terminate my a month baby!!
I feel sorry for my darling fiancé too cause I don’t deserve him!! He begged me to birth the child and give it to his mum but i vehemently refused !!

I don’t think I can ever recover from this life disastrous act!!
My baby was suppose to be due by 28th November 2023
If you ask me why I did what I did
I can’t even explain!!

God doesn’t make mistakes.. He knew I needed this child in my life because Apart from my Fiancé nobody cares about me and then he gave me this beautiful creature to love me and care for me and I had the nerve to discard it like a piece of thrash … Ahhhhh Lord have mercy on me !!

The painful part is I don’t even know if the abortion was successful cause the blood I saw wasn’t what the quack nurse that did it for me said!! Now I’m on a cross road whether the abortion was complete or whether I’m still expecting a damaged and disfigured child!!

Please don’t be like me
Don’t follow my path
I hope I recover from this and if I don’t so be it.

You are going through a lot and you are having a very big problem with yourself

If you don't take time, you will be alone in this crazy world

phidipe:
Hello sir
is it possible for me not to have access to my child because every steps being taking to address that has proved abortive, i would like to seek the opinion of the elders. What could make a spouse to prevent the other party from seeing his child under the Law and Child Right Act

There must have been one or two ugly acts that leads to such denial

So let's hear the story from your side

You can decide to tell the whole story if you want

Stillwhites:
Two days ago I returned from work earlier than usual just to meet my wife with a young guy romancing and naked on the couch in the sitting room. I threatened to kill the guy but before I returned from the kitchen he had ran away. My wife pleaded and vowed never to repeat same. After family intervention, I decided to let her stay.

I pretended to have travelled to Abuja on Saturday but returned this morning and met her with the same guy in the visitor's room, he escaped thru the window.
I'm fed up with marriage. She must leave this time around.


Seun Mynd44 nlfpmod

Dey play
Wait for the third time

Slizzords:
Good day familylanders, i consider this part of nairaland as a place with lots of reasonable and mature people so i would like to table my matter here.

Am a 27yr old guy and I have been dating this girl of mine for the past 3years now, she's 24yrs and we have been good, she works in a corporate organization and i also hustle for my daily bread too. I have been able to save a good amount of money, though i don't have tertiary education but have got a very sound mind.

Recently she brought up the issue of marriage and asked me when i intend to come and do the needful, i have met her mom and siblings on a few occasions and the vibes i got from them looks positive. I know she loves me and i also share the same affections for her.

The issue is i don't know if i should relocate abroad with the funds at my disposal because of the situation of this country or remain in naija and proceed with marriage with her.

If you think you have made up your mind to settle down with her, you can make am introduction with the family then plan or your relocation and if she is pregnant before then I good for you guys

But if you know that once you relocate you are do e with her

Just leave her the way you met her

To avoid stories

Bassey93:
Dear Nairalanders, my wife has been misbehaving and talking any how lately. Sometimes, I am pushed to beat her but I had to always control myself.


Please, what's the best punishment to serve her whenever she misbehaves?

It depends on the family settings

Some women can be just naughty simply because they contribute nothing to the family

I think you will have to keep warning her about her naughty attitude

So that the day you will display for her, she will be the one to apologize

If you beat a woman, people will blame you Instead of blaming her for bringing that upon herself

Dainy1:
How do you see a marriage where the woman consistently deprive her husband intimacy just because the man is not providing, taking care of their responsibilities. Claiming she's suffering and struggling too much and catering for the children and the family. And would not like to give her body to her man, because her man is not meeting up.

According to her, she can only give out her body to a man that provide for her and her children, a man that buy her gift, a man that loves her.
As a man, what would you do?
Woman why do see provision as love?
Advice for such home pls

I think she was not really inlove with that man from on set, hence she no send the man for sex or no sex

The man too may not have been responsible from day one so not being able to provide again worsened the case

They should continue living like that so far there is no threat to life form both of them

One day you they will realize the damage they have done to themselves

booksbo0k:
Sorry for the long write up my people, I need advice.

My first son has been behaving somehow in our family, as if he's not part of this family...
You and this boy can be in the same house but you might not set your eyes on him once for a whole day. He will be inside his room through out... He has been telling me that he is currently working on going to rent his own place and live on his own and that if God helps him and he is able to achieve that, He will not have anything to do with our family again and that we will never set eyes on him ever again :[ ... I would have not been bothered by such statement if it were coming from someone else, I would take it as a bluff. But this my son is someone that normally doesn't call people to check on them, not even us his parents.. When he was in his previous University before he dropped out, this boy can go for months, that is a whole semester stretch without calling anybody to know how you're doing, except you call him or maybe he wants to ask for money for something or school stuff....

We have five children and he is the first, the second and third children are away in University, he and the two last siblings are the only one's with us.. My husband refused him from going to University in a far place instead he gives him transport money to be going to his own University from home everyday...... He and his father don't even talk again except good morning greetings. He is only 21 ohh..

Let me give you guys small back story so that you can understand how all these things started

My son graduated from secondary school (a boarding school) in 2017 at 16 years old... Initially, he said he wanted to study computer science as he said that was the course he loved and wanted to study. But my husband refused and persuaded him to study pharmacy because he worked at NAFDAC and he saw the way pharmacy graduates were living at his work place and the salary they were recieving. He and one of his chemist friend sweet talked him into going to study the course and I guess it was because he was young then and could not challenge his dad then that was why he gave in.... He wrote jamb but he did not meet the cut of mark for pharmacy (but I later realised his score was good for computer science then)... No public University was willing to admit him for pharmacy then because his score was not good for the course but due to my husband love for the course and not wanting my son to lose admission that year , he decided to go the way of private University not minding their school fees...Long story cut short, my son got admitted into Madonna University where we were paying 1M naira every year.....After 3 years in the school and in 300L @18 years old, he began saying he was not interested in the school any longer, that he was tired of the course, that he's body is no longer in the school and blablabla that he wants to go and play football in Europe...
He came back for holiday during the beginning of covid and refused to go back to the school when they resumed, saying that he was only wasting our money by being in that school and he did not want to continue.....This got my husband really sad and angry....My son stayed home for almost two years doing nothing because my husband was adamant that if he would not go back to school, nothing for him, that all the money he has spent for school fees in that school can not be for waste that he can become a footballer after he graduates, saying no one can become a successful footballer without being a graduate, that it would later affect them in life...But my son refused. I must confess, my son is extremely good at playing football. That was the talent i can confidently say that God personally gave to him from birth. Infact when he was graduating from secondary school, they gave him the award for the best graduating footballer and he was always the centre of attention anytime he plays at our church events. He friends used to call him "nima" then, I think...
I and my husband got tired of him staying at home for long so I went to meet with one pastor in our street who was based in the UK with his family but comes home sometimes for church related matters. I explained my son's situation to him and he offered to help my son travel out to chase his football career provided we have the funds for it. The man was secondary school class mates with "victor ikpe ekong" who was a former super eagles player but currently a pastor in Sweden. To my greatest surprise he called him on a WhatsApp video call in my presence and i was really surprised...He gave me the man's phone number to keep in contact and also scheduled a day to meet with my husband and have a discussion.. I told my son and he was very happy..I also told my husband and he was eager to meet with him at least, anything to solve my sons idleness at the time..

The pastor came to my our house on several occasions and discussed with my husband. My husband kept telling the pastor,saying he would like my son to be going to school while chasing his football career at the same time, a feat which pastor let us know would be difficult as one has to be dropped for the other. Unfortunately, my husband changed he's mind and said he was no longer interested in the whole footballer thing. He said he knew that my son wanted to become a footballer only because of girls. That he, my son knew that if he becomes a footballer, all the girls would like him, that that was the only reason he wanted to become a footballer, and that if football was his true destiny, he doesn't need to travel out for it to manifest, that he can be in Nigeria and make it from here.....That was how that chapter close like that. Pastor left for England few months after.....

After years of my son staying at home, my husband got tired. One night, he hired some Street thugs to come take my son away and beat him up...my son stayed with them for 2 weeks. When he returned, he said he was ready to go back to school. But my husband told him he won't be going back to any private University again. My son wrote jamb again to study computer science and was admitted into COOU. but my said he would not allow him go to any University that is not in the same state we are residing. Now the problem here was that all the public schools in the state we are staying will not accept you to study computer science unless you did chemistry in jamb. And my son did not do chemistry in jamb because he is not good in chemistry. If he was to study in the same state we were staying, he had to settle for another course, which he did...Now another problem arose. My husband refused to rent an apartment for my son around the school because the school is considerably far from our house, instead he decided to be giving him money (2000) everyday as transport fare to be going from home. This did not sit down well with my the boy and he again, said he was no longer interested in schooling again sef that he can't be going such far distance from home to the school everyday to study a Course he does not even like siting that it would be stressful and affect his academics and that it was unwise to be paying 60k a year as school fees while you spend 2k everyday as transport..My husband got angry and called on our estate CSO to come pick him up. They beat him so badly in public that when he got back home later in the evening, I went to check him in his room, his buttocks and back where scarred and red with huge marks...

Ever since, he has been going to the school from home and he has become very distant from us especially his dad. They don't talk again in the same house except "good morning sir"... My son has turned into something else. He can stay indoors from morning till night. I would have said he has started keeping bad company but he does not even have a single friend, not one..Nobody calls him, and he doesn't call anybody...I have five children and he is the first. The second and third already gained admission this year in a private University and are in school currently, so he and he's last two siblings are the only one's with us now.. Why I'm writing this is because I'm scared..I'm beginning to fear that my son might might commit suicide, he's beginning to show that kind of attitude.. And the plans he have to leave us forever to go and stay alone, I don't like it ohhhh...
Nairalanders please I need your advice.

dominique nlfpmod farano lalasticlala Myndd44 justwise Disguy

Every thing has been messed up

Right now just leave that guy to follow his heart

If you guys don't want to loose him to suicide, just allow him to get an accommodation
But just find out where he will be living and visit him once a while

Then be putting him into prayers because it's only God that can deliver him from this life style

kyber:
A girl I borrowed 15k to solve one issue like that blocked me on all social media account and she doesn’t pass my area any more. I wouldn’t have given her the money but she was so cute and with the way she begged I thought she would refund my money back.
The money I borrowed her was for my school departmental and faculty dues plus 3 days feeding money .

Why are all girls self centered and wicked ?
What do I do now ?
Please help with advice

Consider it gone
She will come again with a more pathetic story

Tell her to refund the previous one to ger another one

If she does, block her

kyber:
Wife Killed Her Husband Cause He Couldn’t Pay Their Kids School Fees

I lost a friend last night cause he couldn’t afford the school fees for his 2 daughters and he committed suicide.

Worst part of the story is that his wife had already paid the fees but informed the school to keep asking her husband so she could get a refund Gosh!

Don’t you think the lady killed her husband indirectly?
Why are women so wicked and heartless?

What you just wrote isn't the true story

Find out the true story and bring it here

Stop putting up stories to condemn women

[quote author=Pojomojo post=122278140][/quote]Lack of communication and love

Shapeaso:
They should allow this guy to rest na.

Him too, he should respect himself

He is just too lousy

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close

They have actually ganged up against you long time ago and the fault is from your husband who can't protect your interest

I think you should stand on your ground that they shouldn't touch your personal effect

Don't stop your sister inlaw from coming into that apartment, but don't tolerate nonsense from her sales girl neither should they enter your apartment

Make sure you don't insult your sister in law but don't let her push you to the wall

As for you father in law, just don't ever talk carelessly to him but then always present your case politely to him and don't respond harshly to him

As for your husband, it's a pity he has made himself a puppet just because he stays in the family house and am sure he is not paying rent, don't talk harshly to him but stand on your ground

With time every one will take caution and redress including you, after that, you all will love and appreciate each other

ScottSummers:
Good day and happy sunday everyone

I work in a lounge in sabo and i'm paid 11000 a month.I have served my boss faithfully and dilligently for months during the course of my stay in this shop despite being owed salary.Even when other workers left citing underpayment and workload,i still stayed.
It happened that during governorship election season,our lounge was robbed.The robbers made away with 194,000 new naira notes my boss kept in his office. what was more shocking that the robbery was a clean one meaning the robbers had access to the key to his office.It's only me and my boss that have the keys so I was questioned and interrogated.I didn't know anything about it and so I said.I was beaten and bruised.
Nobody believe me say i dey innocent

Police came and i was detained.i was in cell for 13 days(i hear am for cell God)before being released last week.I was rold the culprit has been found.It was my boss mistress and brother that planned it.How they knew about the money is what i don't know.
My boss messaged me to return but i don't want to.I want to know if i'm making the right decision.Thanks.

PS:In case you have job for me,I stay in jakande in ojo.owu dey blow me.My number:08186844232

I think you cba go back to him, listen to him then,

Tell him you will come if he increases your salary and back it up with a letter and promote your position

Then wait for his response

You dont have to make yourself so cheap because of bad condition
Et h know that you served him and was serving him with all your heart and deligence