₦airaland Forum

Emco1:
Good morning my dear people of Nairaland . Am not a good writer please try and understand my write up because it may help me a lot base on your contribution. Am in my early 30s and I got married in the year 2020 with one kid. Before I got married to my wife I dated her . So I will say I know most of her characters very well and her temperament. Before now we have been living well in terms of family needs, I provide for the family in everything. Though she was working before I got married to her but she always complain that her boss is lusting after her which am aware of. When she delivered our kid, the company gave her two months to resume work. But that did not go down well with me so I ask her to quit the job, because I'm planning to open a supermarket for her when we move out of the current apartment we were living. Because I want her to take care of our kid and that the work my stress her together with the house chores. She agreed on my idea. So we got a new apartment. We lived there with just four months my business crashed down. But when my wife stopped working I was paying her #1k daily and asked her what ever she want to buy for the family she should tell me. I ask her to save what ever she can that you never know what tomorrow brings. In our new apartment I continue to struggle in other to provide for the family but it's never enough, even though I usually buy foodstuffs of all kinds but it will definitely finish if you don't replace it. It's resulted to borrow money from loan shark that I so much despise. But I don't have a choice. Because I discovered that help will not come and my family is hungry. I need to find a temporary way to get money but I will not steal. So my wife later start a POS business with the little money she had according to her . She told me that from 2023 she will not wash my clothes again, or do most of the house chores, even though I bought her Washing machine . That's she is always tired because of her business and that she don't have time to do all that especially Washing my clothes and that of our kid. I ask her no problem that it should start right away that no need for the 2023. Ever since we have been quarrelling, sometimes she would wake up Good morning can never come out of her mouth. Still I don't want to involve family because I don't like it. Currently, am learning how to drive because I believe transport will help me get back to my feet and I base in Lagos. A good advice is needed please. Because right now we don't communicate with each other all because am broke. Honestly She has been providing money to make stew and food but now stop that she don't have money. Upon my financial issues I still support her for us to eat. Even the POS she's using am still the one that bought it, and still gave her little money that I have. I don't like taking my family issue to anybody and am dieing in silence and pressure. Dept is increasing. Please, am totally depressed that's what made me to bring it out here before I take a wrong decision. I can't write up everything here I have to endure some. Mod please move it to the front page.

Just the three of you as a family, shouldn't be as difficult as you are pouring it out to feed and handle

Your rent is going to be an issue if you don't move to an apartment where you can afford to pay without begging anyone

Well if she doesn't want to endure or support you, it means she doesn't care about your Happiness

You can stop and take a break from having more kids untill you find your bearing

Forbrok:
Me and my husband dated for 3 years before I got pregnant for him. My son will be 3 years this year. This man doesn’t respect me at all, he disgraces me publicly, complains about everything I do, always says the house is dirty even if I just cleaned the house, he will still complain about it. He cheats on me a lot, I don’t know his phone password, he has s_x with my friends and street sisters but I endure everything because of my child. Any small thing he will start fighting me and I might beg him for days. Like 3 or 4 days, he won’t talk to me. He has money and I have my shop but I’m fed up. He can’t even help me with any little house chore in the house, he comes home late. I’m just 22 years old but I’m dying. Any small issue, he will say he regrets knowing me. He said his biggest regret is dating me. I don’t understand, I did not do anything wrong. We argue almost everyday, he will lock his room door and I won’t be able to enter. He won’t talk to me for days …. I’m dying …. I don’t know what to do. He disgraces me publicly

Post gotten from: [url = www.myfamilypot.com]www.myfamilypot.com[/url]

So far she doesn't know the way to her parents home, she can remain there

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am gradually falling into depression and I am 5months pregnant.

I have a brother I love so much. We are just 2 and I am older than him. Honestly this boy has taken advantage of being the only son to be extremely misbehaving. With the little money I am making from my business, I have tried several times to set up a business for this boy. My daddy has sold all his land just to see this boy grow but he always end up squandering everything on drug. He has been to psychiatric hospital on 2 different occasions and I was the one that paid for every dime spent there. He has a girlfriend that is just like him, very rude, mannerless and nasty. She has unapologetically insulted everyone including my parents. My brother is 32years and has lived with me several times before getting an apartment.

So recently a prophet told my dad to get him a wife and he will never misbehave again and can also start giving birth. My brother insisted on marrying his girlfriend which everyone was against but my dad just have to do it. My poor dad spent his hard earned money on the marriage rite and paying for their apartment, the girl got pregnant. I promised to buy all the baby things they will be needing. For the past 6 months, my 75yrs old father has not been working and feeling well. I have been the one taking care of all his responsibilities both feeding and medicals. My dad will always call to report my brother wife to me that the girl is always asking him money in very rude manner. At a time, I told my dad to stop picking her calls. Last year Nov, my brother asked me for 200k which I told him I don't have because the 1m I gave him before was wasted.

So I invited my dad to lagos so I can take him to a good hospital and my brother and his wife came to visit him. After much talk, I told her to never call my dad and ask him money again because the man is no longer working and sick. She said she has not been asking my daddy money.
I asked her if she's calling my daddy a liar and she said yes my daddy is a bloody liar and I am so stupid to believe what my daddy told me. I told her to leave my house and she started screaming and abusing me. My brother stood there and also joined her abusing me telling me that if I can't accept his wife then I should forget about him. The wife refuse to go, she told me to do my worst. Thank God for neighbours that intervene before she left.

It's been 3 months I ended every relationship between me and my brother. Now my parents is calling me that I should make peace with my brother. My mother has been supporting my brother and show it clear to me that he's more important than me despite everything I am doing for her. She has been the one pushing my dad to tell me to call my brother and make peace with him. I told my father I can never do it and both me and my kids will never have anything to do with his son and his family again. I love my father so much and I have noticed he don't pick my calls again like before. Honestly I wish I have the mind to block all of them and just concentrate on my life and kids. But I can't just forget my father like that and I can never beg my junior brother too. I don't just know what to do

They are telling me he's a man and I shouldn't expect him to beg rather I should be the one to beg him

Na waoo

I think at this stage, you have to focus on your family and your pregnancy

All these people will survive without you

God1000:
thanks, but why are some people still rejecting it

For me ohh, until I hear from Emefiele, I may not touch it

I read yesterday when CBN Governor said, they are yet to get a letter from Supreme Court informing them about the old note being a legal tender and the extension till December

So, meaning that you understand what I am thinking 💭

benjackugo:
A Nigerian lady, Precious Aneke, has taken to Facebook to seek advice on how to stop loving her husband because he makes her cry and overthink, IGBERETV reports.

In a post shared on a Facebook group on Thursday March 2, she wrote;



https://www./2443977612304623/permalink/5973932272642455/?app=fbl

She already knows what to do so far she is not an underage girl

oldienavie:
I am a single man in my early 30s, I used to have a girlfriend some couple years ago .
She cheated on me, I didnt break up with her but the relationship just kinda died and she moved on .

She started dating another guy but I was also sleeping with her occasionally cos she liked me, anyway, the guy found out and he decided he was not going to marry her, but somehow she got pregnant for the guy.
I was already out of the country when she got pregnant for him.

The guy wanted her to abort but she wouldn't, she has a beautiful daughter now, she is not doing so bad as she works with one of the top banks as she is very comfortable.
Because of the trauma she suffered during pregnancy, she became close to me as the boyfriend totally abandoned her and the guy has not set eyes on the daughter till today, the daughter is now 6 years old.

I have been out of the country for 7 years and I am due to be back in Nigeria in a few weeks time, I am going back to purposely to look for a wife, we are going to be in the same city .

We currently talk everyday and it has been like that since more than 6 years ago, she is not dating anyone at the moment and she also knows I am coming to look for a wife.

Its almost certain that we are going to get back to having sex as its just obvious despite that we have never discussed that, its hard to really stay away from her but not impossible I am thinking there is nothing wrong having her as a Friend With Benefit pending when I get a wife that I want to marry and then discharge her.

Will it be possible to be Friend With Benefit with her and easily discharge her when I find another woman I want to marry without issues ? I love her and would have considered marrying her if not for the history that we shared, we have now become the best of friends, but I am just confused if resuming sex with her will not make it difficult to keep her away from me when I find another woman.

You know women can be very emotional .

Dont be surprise if you settle down with her

Alusiizizi:
I am beginning to suspect that this is not nearly as simple as it appears. For example, did you know that male lions have the genes to grow to more than twice as large as they usually do and that the only reason that they do not is that there are alleles in the X chromosome(from female lions) that prevent them from doing so. The most accepted explanation for why this X mediated genetic action evolved in the first place is because giant lions will find it difficult to integrate into the strongly social structure that characterizes lion "society" thereby putting the species as a whole at a disadvantage.

The reason why I bring this up is because it is possible that something analogous might possibly be happening in humans. The one thing that I have noticed is that of women that have borne many all-female offspring the vast majority of them seem to have descended from riverine societies.

Also note that statistically boys are actually more likely to be born than girls by some 5% or so(although this statistical advantage does decrease a bit with age).

Only science can prove otherwise

Maynman:
Females have two X chromosomes, while males have one X and one Y chromosome.

That's for the observation
Modified now

Peacegate24:
My story goes like this. I will be truthful with everything I will say. My marriage is 12 years with 3 children. I left my home last year. My husband is very abusive I mean verbal abuse. I uses everything to insult me. I work but I have never given my parents anything since I got married. He holds my ATM card, and withdrawal money at will.
When ever my salary does not come on time, he insult the living day light out of me. I don't eat in his presence because of insult. Before I left he always tells me to go that he is tried of me he tells me this everyday, he body shame me and all that. He never believe I could leave. when left, he kept calling to insult me, he always insult my family especially my mother. The abuse has made me lose my self worth and confidence. I have no clothes to wear and I work, I have just one shoes. Why am here is to seek for advice, I don't want to go back to him. I can take care of my children he has never paid there school fees but my problem is my mother she wants me to go back because of what people are saying. Please I need advice.

Well all I can say is that, you have gotten your freedom and don't allow anyone tell you any thing that will make you get depressed again

Forget about what people will. Say, they will always have something to say

Am glad you can care for yoor children, what else

You only live once

Vincenzomum:
I am married to a igbo man we are based in Italy. We have 4 children 3 together I have 3 girls for him i tested positive for baby number 5 and we were discussing about the gender my husband said something that makes me feel so bad. He want a son so bad he said in igbo tribe a man is nothing man without a son. i asked him what if we had another baby girl he said he will have no choice but to go to nigeria and marry another woman who will bear sons for him so he can be a real man. i asked him if he was serious then he change his words saying he was joking he doesn't mind the sex of our baby as long as the baby is healthy that is what matter. I have been restless since he has mentioned about marrying a second wife even though he said it was a joke but i knoow that he wasn't joking he was serious. I want to know from igbo people is it true that a man is nothing without a son and also what if the wife only bore female children is it compulsory for the man to marry a second one in igbo tribe to bear him sons?

Male child is to continue his name incase he dies at any time

But is he aware that he is the determinant factor for a male child because he has the Y chromosomes

BabyOku2022:
Do you guys think that this relationship can work out?
I used to always visit my guy every month But due to some personal problems we havent met for over 3 months now.
He also say that if he has more money we will be together and me coming to see him is waste of money now that is better i use it to help him.and he says his mum n dad were separated for 10 years before his dad returned to his mom.
Can this relationship work out?cause we talk every day on phone But I miss him.he says even if I come for a week Or so it will not move our relationship forward because ill still travel back and we wont be in same place 2gether.

I think you are the one that is having plans in this relationship

This guy may have no plans, hence his uncare response

Cazzim:
where in Lagos u staying

Zukwanu Ike

eglobalcafe:
I married her a virgin

You have other options like adoption and surrogacy

When you are able to achieve any one of the two, you will become a father and she a mother

Then if you allow your family to push you out to pregnant another woman due to pressure, she will not leave the child for you as she will want you to marry her

May God direct you on what to do

But try the options I mentioned, then she will be busy with a child

As for IVF, age affects IVF too, just to avoid another waste of money

Sonnobax15:
. Na so much brother......There are certain things I won't say here,but I truly regret falling into such relationship...

Its part of life experience
Just walk away when you can, you are not glued

AndroidAI:
When a lady have no means of survival, and depends on the abuser for basic things such as food, leaving becomes the harder choice. So they'd rather continue enduring the abuse, than face the harsh reality outside.

Exactly

Guest2008:
I just watched a movie on YouTube (On Page 31) and so many thoughts came to my mind especially as regards why we sometimes endure abuse so much in our relationships whether verbal or physical..
I've seen people verbally abused and I've been a victim as well, so I know it's real.

I work in a hospital setting and I've seen countless cases of men beating their wives or girlfriends to the extent of needing medical attention. Funny enough, most of the time, it's the same abuser that would bring the victim to the hospital.
One that caught my attention most was a tall, dark, and beautiful Benin lady that was brought in by her "supposed" fiance many years ago. It was so bad that she had so many bruises all over her body and a cut on her finger which was bleeding. The man did not allow the doctor to clerk the patient in peace, he kept saying it's domestic accident. The doctor asked him how and he couldn't give a clear explanation.. So both the doctor and the nurses requested that he should excuse them while they treat her. He reluctantly left and then when the lady was asked what happened, with so much pains in her and tears, she said "they beat me, the guy and his sister", she even said that was not the first time.
She requested to be admitted after treatment to avoid going back to the house with the guy, the guy made all necessary payments and she was admitted.. They planned to keep her for as long as she wanted. The guy later left to get her goodies for her stay and remained there with her. Few hours later, she requested for discharge that she wouldn't like to sleep in the hospital, and they left together afterwards..

It's now like the grace of God is needed to be confident enough to move on when abuse becomes extreme..

So why do some people like to abuse others and why do many victims of abuse tolerate it even when it's severe

Honestly, any woman you see staying with an abusive man, is just stranded and have given the man the impression that she has no where to go, so deal with me as you like

Why should some one be living with a beater, only lazy women who can't provide for themselves does that

Real boss lady can't be dressed down talk less of being abused

BlackyOne:
You need to introduce me to your food plug, please DM

Lol

fabiano09:
Me I want to meet your own family

Lol
Am Invisible

justyhere:
Is it possible that my boyfriend loves me?

He doesn’t remember details about me, doesn’t remember our anniversary or my birthday. He doesn’t post my pictures on social media but he claims to be proud of me.

Yesterday was Val, no gift, no calls or text the whole day.

How can I deal with this?

Some men are more romantic than others

But at least if he claim he loves you, let him prove it in any way

Borntosmoke:
Pls there is this Fulani girls by the road side, she is a begger and I'm in love with her. Who have had experience dating a begger. Are they wife material and also her beauty is out of this world she resemble Indian, I don't know what shift her to begging.

Meet her family and let them know your interests in her and make plans to enroll her into any vocational things like cake making a tailoring and salon or anything that is her passion

I think that's where you can start from

Then with time if the love you have with her is still going strong and you can make yoor intensions known to her family

owen27:
I’m thinking about opening a laundry shop..I’m a student of imo state university currently in my finals.
Should I invest the money here in owerri or save the money and use it to clear myself in school and go for nysc…..I’m the one training myself in school

Congratulations on yoor savings even as a student in this difficult times

I will advise you get yourself done with schooling and go for youth service so that you know that you are done with school and it's wahala

If I say invest in the dry cleaning amd you don't get the profit you expect, you will be down cast and may not have thr money to complete your education

That means you are angry at both ends, it's not easy for one to train himself in school and it a task that comes with a big challenge

Finish one them start another

Meanwhile keep saving its never too much

Seunosewar:
i just want to hide some video files on my phone from been seen but it's still there, i am using password on my phone normal but it's not enough

You can password your drive, files and galleries and put all adult videos or images there

With this, no one can even access them even when you unlock your phone

But make sure you use a different password to password those apps

saweide:
Good Morin nairalanders,
My name is Joseph an indigen of Osun state I grew up in ibadan am 38 years old ,I need a serios advice and is concerning my life please no insult.
I met this lady on Facebook last year December 2022 she lives in ibafo ogun state ,she is a single mother of 2 girls 4 year old and 7 year old respectively.
I met her Jan 23rd on my first visit to her and she showed me her house and her shop ,she is an hairdresser and she just rented an apartment which was an empty apartment.After welcoming me we started gisting and all that..Suddenly I asked her to explain her single motherhood cause ,she told me she lost her husband few years back and I asked about the cause of his husband death she said an attack he fell ill and died but she didn't go into details. When I keep asking her the cause and all that she asked me if am a policeman or i need a wife or if I just want to do investigations, not wanting to offend her I kept mute and I asked her another question why her new apartment was empty she told me the former house is full of loads that she just decided not to carry any load from her former house I became suspicious and fearful and she insisted not to ever touch any belongings from the former house ,I asked her if she can show me the late husband picture she told me she has deleted it .
Please I need serios critical advice from good nigerias if I should go ahead with this relationship..Though she loves me but she doesn't go into details about her past and I don't know why .when I approached her she said I can't know her all in a day that as times goes on I will know her ,but I love her too but am just fearful ...am planning to Marry her with 2 kids already while I am also a single father of 2 ..please your advise is greatly appreciated. GOD BLESS ALL

The only way out is to ask her about her village or town that you will like to visit her family there

That you want to know where she comes from

If she says her parents are late, at least she has extended family staying there

If she refuses, then relax and start withdrawing.

She will be the one to locate you and tell even the one you did not asked her

I think she is hiding a lot, at least you need to know 85% about her before going in for the fact that she already have kids and you want to be sure that you are not even taking another man's wife

justyhere:
I just discovered the shock of my life. My friend is about to get married in a month’s time to this wealthy fine man, she's a few weeks pregnant and looks pretty happy.

Last week, I was with her and her fiancee came around, it was all fun and we took several pictures and I needed to get them so the guy just handed me his phone to send the pictures to my phone.

They are a very clingy couple and they left to the bedroom to go do their thing, maybe to keep me company or maybe he forgot or for whatever reason, but he didn't get his phone. I was done with the transfer and was just going through his photos randomly, I saw a folder and there are pictures and videos of him doing sexual things with different female corpses. I was so terrified, I returned the phone to home Page, cleared the recently used apps and I left immediately, I have not been in contact with my friend for days now, she keeps calling, I can't bring myself to speak to her.

But I feel guilty and angry, angry that he would do such and even record them and keep them, guilty that I am letting my best friend into a trap of a marriage.

What do I do in this case? I'm so confused and worried.

Na wa
She should have access to her husband phone and may be aware of that

Mindlog:
Another troll.

LittleBigDick:
I just found out i will be a dad soon
How do i make sure that if its a boy it becomes very smart and fit ?Is it ok if i put creatine in my baby's milk?

Hmm

BlackyOne:
Just wow wow wow on the feeding part! The meat would be as small as chin chin, the rice will be like 50 grain, and the beans like 30 seed, Aside cost of house rent, the second most expensive things is cost of transportation and thirdly Food!...

You can't even survive the next two minutes with that amount of food in Lagos, and that's if you can get food of that amount, it would even be in the worse slum in Lagos where a decent being would not even wished to eat!

My dear
You will get such for a normal meal and 500 should hold the stomach

Unless you want to be going to Eaterys

If you have a big stomach or a glutton, just be cooking for yourself

You don't need to live in slum to eat low food

There is nothing like slum because Lagos is large and every local government is feeling the impact of this administration
Thank God for people that are buying land and developing it in rural areas making it to be close to urbans

Lagosians wakes from 4am to move out, but with grace of God

Cazzim:
your advise is not convinced at all, this not what I ask for why not ignore if u don't have something reasonable to type

Deal with it

Crimpsy:
I love this advice

Thanks dear

Cazzim:
😰 not yet in Lagos but started regretting already

A man never gets scared or regret things he has no knowledge of

You can turn down the offer, it's not a must

Cazzim:
I will soon be relocating to Lagos, please can anyone tell me how expensive it is to rent apartment in Lagos, my office is in ikoyi and, I don't want to stay to far from my office, and how is life in Lagos like the traffic and all.
base on things I do hear about Lagos am worried already, I will be very grateful for any advise about life in Lagos, please don't mind my English

Lagos is a friendly and accommodating state

No matter the struggle you will still succeed

For feeding, you can get rice 150, Beans 100, Meat 100 good to eat

Since your office is at Ikoyi, look for accommodation in areas like Yaba, Akoka, Shomolu, Palm Grove, these are areas to get strait bus to the Island

As for the traffic, you will just join and fit in because you must experience it through and flow

You will meet the good, the bad and the worst set of people

LesbianBoy:
Will you stand up mumu

Tomorrow now she fit deny you sex or fit dey claim equality with you after this

Appreciate romantic moments for once

Tesclaros:
what protocol and processes does it have when they couldn’t give me a common PTA after applying a month before my traveling date. Tell me

You mean BTA