₦airaland Forum

As much as I don't really dig Nigerian women too much as they have a lot of issues, i swear that a lot of men on this forum are confused as to what they want.

Today it's "team foreign women". Tomorrow it's "Nigerian girls are the best". The following day it's "majority of Nigerian women are prostitutes". Or "Akata/foreign born and raised Nigerian women are lost". Another one is "village girls are homely and still respect our traditions". Or the latest "Don't take a village girl with you abroad as they will tear eye and dump you after everything you have done for them". I mean, make up your minds for crying out loud! Nobody is perfect.

As for you lots that are based abroad, you have to understand that you are in a foreign environment. It's important to maintain your culture in order to pass it on to the next generation but you also have to bend the rules and be flexible.

A lot of you will be chasing the pretty and flashy ones who will not easy submit instead of the average/chubby ones who would be appreciative of the attention they are getting from you. Open your minds lads.

Do you know that Elon Musk,a serial divorcee, is one of the richest men in the world and one of the most innovative minds right now?

Jeff Bezos, the richest man in the world, is currently going through a lengthly divorce. Are you telling me that businesses will not take him seriously when he talks?

You lots need to let go of that archaic way of thinking.

The reason why a lot of corporations prefer married people is because they are looking for people who will be committed to the company for a long term. Singles are seen as a threat as they could leave at anytime.

SURElee:
Have you heard the saying that even in the corporate world, most people considered for managerial positions must be married, because they believe if you can handle a home consisting of wife and kids with the responsibilities and challenges that come with it, then you will use that experience in managing an organization of people to get result, harnessing both their strengths and weaknesses.

I heard this years ago and it made sense to me.

Which is easier to manage a home or political party consisting of many people with varied interests?

Correct me, I might be wrong. I don't claim to know it all.

OP, as an immigration consultant, I would advice you to think outside the box.

You could use that money to start an importation business. That will enable you to be in and out of the country.

Import cheap products from Eastern Europe and sell them in Nigeria.

There is the option of migrating to Brazil and gaining quick citizenship there. Cost of living in Brazil is cheap and you can set up a business there to export agricultural products to Nigeria.

Another option is to migrate to Cote D'Ivoire or other quality African countries and set up a business there.

It's not all about migrating to the west or setting up a business in Nigeria. Sometimes you have to think outside the box and broaden your options.

That's the problem.

The system has been structured to favor illiterates over the educated ones. They will determine the fate of the country for years to come until something is done about it.

If you look at Lagos, agberos have a huge sway over who is the next governor. APC have strategically used them as an instrument to implement their will. Ambode tried to phase out all these danfo and molue drivers and was met with stiff resistance.

Middle class and upper class votes do not matter in the elections.

Ugosample:
You have said it all jare

How realistic is it to raise the tens of tens of millions of illiterate barbaric lowlives out of that state into educated and civil people in the next 15 years?

remember that they are the ones breeding like rats increasing the population of barbaric citizens

now with these defective citizens with their pvc, how can the educated and inform out vote these people?

This means that the hordes of agbero and almajiri and omo alata will always determine the fate of Nigeria


TELL ME one country in this world where the voting population are largely illiterate and archaic like we have in Nigeria, and is either developed, or is on the path to development?

Yes, let's agree to disagree.

I am not here to change your mind. It is actually important that people like you are in the country to change the system if you can.

What I don't agree with is you labelling the OP or me cowards for leaving the system and trying to better their lives. People migrate all the time.It's not only Nigerians that migrate.

Hell, the number of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border a month is more than the number of Nigerians migrating a year and believe me Mexico's economy is far better than Nigeria's.

The fact is that the country will experience more brain drain in the next few years due to a lack of conducive environment for skilled professionals to flourish.

Another issue is the absolute disregard for life by Nigerians. Herdsmen kill people and there are no protests. Hundreds of Shites are killed and no one bats an eye. You can go missing and nobody will lift a finger to find you. People are scared of that and want a better environment for their kids to grow up in.

marvinsync:
now first of all and very important , u don't know me to assume I'm gonna oppress people!
all I am is tired of sitting and watching things happen , being powerless to what's happening in the country and I have decided that I will do what I can about it


this is Nigeria not the west? lol ur one of those people , u compare Nigeria to the west when u feel like and when things u don't like come up u remember that this is Nigeria not the west


oh I do accept that we can't evolve with all those issues I just choose to be part of the solution


u just emphasized my point they had people who were willing to change things are u and the op willing to change things? no ur just running away


I said j could travel to the US or UK anytime I feel like I never said I won't and trust me I intend to visit Calabar and again I'm not in support of what happening in the country , I don't know why u keep telling me the country's problem like I was in support or ok with them


let's agree to disagree on this for now



now OP I'm gonna be clear on my point
A COUNTRY DOESN'T FIX ITSELF!
the same way there are people ruining this country is the same way people would be required to fix it or do u expect Nigeria to become like the west by itself?
look at china , India, Ghana , Rwanda etc they are building themselves despite all the issues they were plagued with , at some point in time all of these countries were shit-holes but look at them now .

now gforce5 it's okay if u don't care about the country and want to run away "after all the country has not helped u so why should u help it?" right? it's alright not everyone can be helpful but don't dare try n make me and people like me that choose to stay and invest , grow , improve the GDP , reduce unemployment rate and poverty , people that still believe there are things here that they can do to improve themselves and the lives of other Nigerians , people that wanna be part of the solution , patriots , nation builders, don't try and make us seem like fools ok

all these might seem like story and grammar to u , no problem ,go abroad , but let's just respect ourselves

See. I did not know that she's still there. She's just keeping up appearances in Nigeria.

A lot of them are just in Nigeria to keep up appearances.

It is not easy living in a country where nothing works even despite your wealth and influence.

DexterousOne:
I've read your comment

But want to point out something

Cuppy is STILL LONDON BASED

She be "alejo" for Nigeria

My brother, you are so on point. What that guy doesn't know is that many of us commenting are from upper middle class families.

We were immune to most of the problems in Naija growing up.

Going to the Nigerian Law School opened my eyes to the level inequality in Nigeria.The "foreign" students had better accommodation than the "home based" students.

There is that gap between the rich and poor that you cannot ignore in Nigeria but in the west it is not obvious due to the Government's role in empowering the masses.

Dj Cuppy is only in Nigeria because she couldn't break the British market otherwise she prefers to be in London where she can move around undetected.

If you are from the upper class in Nigeria, your movement is very restricted as there are many people who would take their frustration on you.

Even some of Adenuga's children live outside the country as they have peace of mind in their base.

Ugosample:
Nigeeus operates on a different set of rules

Rich dad poor dad will open your mind about money

But you need MUCH MORE than the principles contained in
that book to succeed in the murky waters of naija.

And coming from an upper middle class home in Nigeria (not super rich, but we are just good) we were immune to most of the issues that hit the country
pumping machines, big gen and all.


But most of Nigeria don t have that, and the country is not in a good shape, neither is outside our enclave safe

Even otedola daughter complains abt it.
She stays mostly in London but complains of how restricted her life in lagos

She is not free to waka about like she does in London, etc etc.
But not in Naija

that is my point

quality of life is not the best in Nigeria

Actually, you are worse than the OP and I as you, like many myopic Nigerians, acquire wealth to oppress your fellow countrymen in the name of being a "big boy". You wonder why slay queens, yahoo boys and ritualist are on the rise? It's because they have your mentality.

Many talented people have left the country because the country does not value their skills and input. You lots prefer those who have your level of reasoning: 'Who grammar epp?", "This is Nigeria not the west!", "Once you are in Rome behave like the Romans". Why would a sane enlightened person want to work in such an environment?

The problem with you people is that you refuse to accept that you lots cannot evolve due to tribalism, religious intolerance and illiteracy. As long as you have Northern almajiris ruling you, you cannot evolve. As long as you have high school dropouts at the top of many organizations you cannot evolve.

You talk about people in the west developing their countries. Of course they did but they had many like minds who were willing to come together and change the system. Nigeria is too divided on tribal and religious lines for that to ever happen.

So you see, people would stay and fight if there was a country worth fighting for.

As for Putin's comment, he's referring to you lots who make money at all cost at the betterment of yourselves as opposed to the benefit of society. Where you not the one that said that once you have money you can travel to the US and UK anytime you want. What about traveling to Calabar, Jos,Sokoto or even Abeokuta? Of course not. The people who you want to become don't even believe in your country. Hell, your President doesn't have confidence in your health sector hence his monthly visits to the UK. Your tax money at work eh??

Oh, and finally, the whole "keep being a second-class citizen abroad" is stale. You are also a second class citizen in your own country if you have to be rich in order to have quality and decent life. If you have to live in a private estate with security, use escort to move around town, run your gen 24/7 in order to have light and wear expensive cloths in order for people to respect you then you are a second-class citizen in your own country without money.

marvinsync:
now first of all I never said the op couldn't go abroad
second ,(again) I never said Nigeria was amazing
third u say I'm not thinking about the future
but did u wonder how Canada and the developed countries became developed? it's because people developed it infact a lot of America's major developments came from foreigners ,ie people left their land and developed somewhere else

u keep mentioning king do u think being a king is all about living large? being a king is having power to control things, to shape society . Have u watched "the men who built America" those people where kings , not just because they were rich but because they shaped society as u know it

Nigeria is the way it is because it has the wrong kings , tinubu and all the rest .

encouraging brain drain and running away is not a smart thing to do as u guys are part of the problem , ur just as bad as those who voted for Buhari and those that didn't vote . Ever heard the saying "don't ask what ur country can do for u instead ask what u can do for ur country"

haven't u heard of what Vladimir Putin said about Africa how an African who spend on foreign things all their life but then when they die choose to be buried in Africa like Africa is a graveyard

so when ur listing Nigeria's problems along with bad electricity, roads , leaders etc make sure to include U and the OP


now I'm not saying don't go abroad , no go and do business and bring it to Nigeria , don't run away , invest in Nigeria ,play ur role as a citizen of Nigeria , running away is a cowards move and not the answer


but hey u don't have to agree with all I've said I'll choose to become a king and shape society and u can choose to run away and be a second
third class citizen immigrant the rest of ur life

Mate, I come from the upper middle class. I know a lot of children of rich politicians who are still based abroad after their studies. Do you think they care about living like Kings in a society that doesn't work?

The ones that came back were those who could not secure a decent job/ didn't have papers. A lot of them could not get jobs that would match their lifestyle. I know people whose parents have provided them with properties in lekki, V.I., Ikoyi and they aren't interested in relocating back to the country due to economic and political uncertainty.

Do you know that a lot of people who are migrating to Canada are from the upper class? People working with multinationals and earning in dollars. A lot of people migrating out of the country are skilled middle and upper-middle class professionals who do not see a future in this country for their families.

Money is very important but if you have to be in the upper/upper middle class in order to survive in this country then you are living in a failed state.

marvinsync:
lol have u read the best selling book rich dad poor dad ? the poor dad says "money isn't everything"
the rich dad says "money is power!!"

no one is arguing that Nigeria isn't a bad place I'm just debunking ur statement that money isn't everything , money would give u access to so many things , I'm simply saying have money and u can live like a king anywhere, look at the way all these people are so desperate to leave the country pike their survival depends on it , do u think children of all these politicians think like this ?


that's why we fight for money and dont insult us for doing so

Nope, you are just a typical Nigerian that suffers from poverty of the mind. To you, everything is about being king of the jungle where nothing works.
That is why foreigners laugh at you people. No light, no water, no road, no decent healthcare, no infrastructure but you are willing to live like a King in an oversized ghetto. Let me tell you something: if you have to be a millionaire/billionaire in order to have a decent quality of life in Nigeria then you are living in a failed society/banana republic.

What is the percentage of rich people in this country? Not more than 5-10%. Where does that leave the rest of the population?

As I said, you think like someone from a third world country. It's all about me, me, me. Not about the future. Everything can go to hell as long as i have money.

marvinsync:
nonsense , ur thinking like a poor man

money is power , every problem u listed above can be solved with money , be it power or roads electricity or whatever

if the road bad then leave in a good area if it's traffic then be ur own boss so u can go to work anytime u feel like and avoid traffic


u haven't seen the lifestyle of some people in Nigeria , billionaires and multimillionaires are living in Nigeria , anytime they wanna go abroad they go and come back ,infact location doesn't matter to them , unlike the op that's asking where to go and people are advising against London and USA , Bosses like these can enter anywhere they want

so listen it is about money it's always about money

I blame the OP for bringing his problems to a faceless forum such as this where any tom, dick and harry can just talk rubbish.

Most of these ignorant people advising the OP to invest his money in this country are ignoramuses who think that everything is about making money.

What is the point to be making money and live in a lawless jungle where life is cheap?

What is the point to be making money in a country where development is stagnant?

In this day and age people are still bragging about using generators while the world is moving to solar power?

What is the point of making money where you are stuck in traffic for half the day just to get home from work?

Everyday you are dealing with drivers who aren't mentally stable and endanger their fellow road users.

The "posh estates" such as Lekki and many GRAs are nothing but overpriced ghettos which lack basic drainage systems, water and electricity.

The "I must make it" syndrome is the reason why Nigeria will never evolve as most Nigerians accept mediocrity and do not understand what a functional society looks like.

gloria34:
Even those ones are broke. They are d ones being controlled by their parents especially mothers and they must obey cause if they Dont, d money stops flowing. That is a broke boy

You say that but your likes still end up trying to date and marry them. You know this to be true. If the likes of Otedola's son or any of Adenuga's sons woo you will you say no? Reality check.

I am not defending Osas behavior but it's so funny that Nigerian guys are alway talking about "team foreign girls" while insulting and pulling down their home based girls. Well, there you have it. Akata is not going to tolerate your rubbish or "endure" for the sake of marriage. Gbenro knew what he was getting himself into when he married Osas for papers instead of getting to know her character. Nigerian men and women deserve each other.

Not surprised. These two were incompatible from the get go. See how people are insulting Nigerians born and bred abroad as being "uncultured" while the so-called "homely" girls in Naija are no better. He married her for papers while she married him for sex and children. They should carry their cross. When things were alright, people on this same forum were praising her for marrying him for love when she could have gotten other men. Now they are blaming him for marrying her.

ValCon888:
What about racism?

What about the tribalism you see everyday on Nairaland and Nigeria? We Nigerians hate each other more than the whites do but we refuse to tell ourselves the truth.

oblaak:
I still don't understand why people go for these concerts. What do you guys enjoy there? Please those who've been there before should tell me the fun derived in such events. Thanks

You people are just miserable killjoys who think that life evolves round studying, going to work, church/mosque and marriage. Many people go to concerts to unwind and see their favorite Artist perform. There's nothing "Western" or myopic about it. It happens everywhere in the world. Life is too short to live a solitary life. No wonder you lots are so rigid in thinking.

That family suffers from extreme poverty of the mind. Who does that in this day and age? Many of the posters here who agree to this manner of "testing"a potential spouse need to have their heads examined. Can the mother-in-law try that nonsense if the girl was Dj Cuppy, Dangote's daughter or some privileged rich girl?

Men in this country are sick. She's a leftover simply because she dated wizkid?? This is a girl with no scandal,does not dress scantily and keeps to herself. Her only crime is that she dated a bad boy which a lot of girls of her age tend to do. Tell me that your mothers and sisters never dated anyone outside your fathers? You then wonder why a lot of women from priviledged backgrounds look down on you.

To that C**t that called Tania a remnant, the women in your family are remnants. So because she's Wizkid's ex, she's a remnant?Many people date and break up. That's the reality of life. It's misorgynists like you that make women in this country act very snobbish towards men.

Poverty of the mind is real. How many people who drive cars actually own the car in this country? It's women from a poor background that behave like this. Women from affluent homes do not act this way.

Arielle:
No. Marry from your socio-economic group. Simple. Same goes for men. I've heard too many sad stories. Marriage is hard enough without the added resentment of one spouse who rightly or wrongly sees ill treatment on account of the other's higher financial standing. Work hard for your own money and success and then marry someone you have that in common with. We Nigerians are too wicked to ourselves. Men and women constantly fighting over everything and hating on each other. How about in-laws who will most probably see you as a gold digging imposter?? You don't need that.
Marry your kind and jointly contribute to the running of the home. Decide on who handles what: school fees, clothing, rent, feeding, holidays and recreation. If you have a project like building or buying a house, open a common account for that purpose and save into it. You can help each other out during the lean months. Worked for my late husband and I. It just takes planning, love and commitment.

I totally concur. People (both male & female) should marry their class. Nigeria is a stressful country as it is. A lot of Nigerians see marriage as a poverty alleviation scheme. Many people keep talking about true love but it rarely exists in this part of the world. There is a lot of poverty in the land and people from very poor backgrounds tend to have a mindset that can drag the other party down. You have to give it to the Northerners, the rich marry strictly within their class. It saves them the stress of dealing with someone from the opposite end of the economic ladder.

OP, the problem you guys are a having is a clash of personalities and to some extent backgrounds. He is an extrovert while you are an introvert. Your fiance isn't immature. He's just used to a certain lifestyle and wants you to be part of his world. Both of you have to decide if there is a middle ground in your relationship, otherwise there will be a lot of conflict if you proceed with the marriage. This is why it is important to be with someone within your circle/level.

I would know if this lady loves her "husband" more than her parents especially her own mother who raised her? This is the problem with women. Very jealous and competitive. They find faults where there's none. Why can't you love both your mother and wife? People need to understand that a mother's love is unconditional. You can't say the same for a wife. Your union to your wife is a written contract that can be severed while a man's bond with his mother is emotional & blood tied.

The fallout of Tiwa's marriage shouldn't be a shock to anyone. People need to understand that Tiwa only got married to Teebillz due to age catching up on her and with the intent of having legitimate children. In this part of the world, unmarried women are looked down upon no matter how successful they are. It's societal pressure that led to this. Nothing else.

OP, I'm sorry but your dignity as a man has already been bought the very moment you allowed your in-laws to pay for your wedding. It was stupid to quit your job for a woman in this recession without any backup plan. 'Love' means nothing in this country if you cannot provide for your family. You made the mistake of marrying someone who's not in your class. Let this be a lesson to men to always cut their cloth according to their size. Marry within your class.

Nairaland is full of ignorant people. I know Tania's family well. Her surname is Teller not Omotayo. Omotayo is her middle name. Her dad's Austrian hence why she looks the way she is but trust nairalanders to say that she is bleaching. You lots are really ignorant & silly.

While i find this post illuminating, it reinforces my stance on marrying your level. The OP ought to have seen some of this characteristic traits from the wife's family. The problem with Nigerian men is that they take the phrase "the Husband is the head of the house" too seriously. If you are that adamant to have a "submissive" wife, then marry someone who won't pose a threat to your "manhood". Men need to understand that as long as you marry a Nigerian you are marrying the person's family. This is not the West where marriage is between the couples only. Leave the rich to marry themselves. Only they understand themselves.

No parent wants their child to suffer. Sure, the in-laws should have given him the heads up. You can look at it two ways: 1. They don't respect him at all or 2. They did it from a position of love as they care about their daughter and grandkids. Marriages between people from different backgrounds only work if there is a lot of compromise between the parties. Niggaz stop biting more than you can chew and stick to what you can handle.

Nigerian men and their egos. This is why poor Nigerian men with fragile egos should not marry rich women. I am against materialism but in a society such as ours, money often calls the shots. Nigerian men should respect themselves and not bite more than they can handle. Whether you like it or not, when you marry someone you marry their family and will also have to deal with their circle of friends. Do not let the doctrine of husband and wife is one to the exclusion of everybody blind you from this reality.

Scenarios like this is the reason why Nigerians should cut their cloth according to their size. Nigerian men should marry women on their level. Men in this part of the world are too proud and take the mantra of "Head of the house" too seriously. I understand that the father-in-law, as courtesy, should have informed him about the gift in advance. However, the man should have known the kind of family he was marrying into. A lot of rich men will go out of their way to spoil their daughters. Married or not. Rich people have a lifestyle that is different from the average joe. Leave them for people of their class and know your level.