₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
Taste. It adds a twist. I use it for my spag too.

My hubby can't do without light and dark soy sauce, and oyster sauce. It really adds a twist to the flavour.

HarunaWest:
Most Nigerian Women don't Know what it means to be submissive. Also most don't know that Sex is very important in a marriage.

Most Nigerian men (on this forum) believe that submission is like a slave-master relationship where the woman cannot have a say in the marriage, but only bends to their husband's every will.

If the above is the kind of submission you are talking about, then you are right. Nigerian women are not submissive.

jaysam28:
I know a couple who are friends of my family. The man is a business man, while the wife is a medical doctor.

They are in their late 50's and have three children. Currently they are separated because the wife said he cannot meet up with her financial needs.

She built a house in Lagos without informing her husband, while he was building one in Ogun state.

I was sad and disappointed. A marriage of like 2 decades, quenched because the wife felt she has more needs the husband cannot cater for.

Now the man will be left alone, no one to help him and meet his sexual needs.

In everything, the bolded is your concern. Not anything else, but the fact that there is no one to "help" him meet his sexual needs. Did he tell you that sex is his problem?

michlins:
Should we tell him guys.


Your parents failed in parenting her. What happened to the old style of beating sense into a child when they start getting wayward. Dem no born you well to talk back to my parents. Parenting is a very difficult job and not for the soft hearted

This woke generation will tell you it's wrong but see where it landed her.

My heart goes out to the innocent unborn child who didn't do anything to deserve being brought into this mess

I'm sure it's not all the children that got pregnant or got someone pregnant, for you to reach this conclusion.

Under the same roof and with the same parenting, one child may go astray, and that is not necessarily the parents' fault.

kay29000:
Nice. Are you still a virgin? I'm looking for one to marry

Rather than search for virginity, search for peace of mind and a woman with sense.

Piece of cake...UI

If only the parents had focused on the life of that boy instead of on blaming the school, he might have still been alive.

But it seems they were more concerned with what they presumed the school had done than saving his life.

abobote:
Val and most love stories is sweeter as a single. The only sweet thing in marriage is the kids. my wife has been so annoying since yesterday, and I'm not thinking of any valentine nonsense with her. If I close from the shop today, I will hang out, take some beer till 12midnight, probably get my kids some ice cream before going home
"Marriage is overrated"

Your wife is annoying and your marriage is overrated. Personalize it please. Don't use your marriage to qualify others.

Keep her out of important moments/events in your life. When you are getting married, aside attending at the mother of the bride, don't let her handle anything. Let her know that there's someone handling them.

When you put to bed, don't tell her or invite her. Let another person tell her. If she wants come for omugwo, tell her that someone else is doing it.

Maybe when she sees that you are distancing yourself from her, she might start change. But don't budge still. Let your family get involved.

Rubbiish:
Aren't u ashamed of yourself?
What sort of a man are u?
If your brother has done something u don't like, shouldn't u explain to him instead of coming here to cry like a wimp?

Because it's a guy. You don't want your fellow guy to be dragged on Nairaland. But if it is the other gender, the op won't be a whimp and you wouldn't have cut her this much slack and defend her with your blood.

Rubbiish:
I don't see any issue here
The poster is nothing but a wimp & blowing this out of proportion. If a sibling has done something as stated by the poster, he should explain to his brother. What is wrong in telling his brother he wanted to use the shoe for that Sunday, in case of next time, he can jokingly say it & they will laugh over it. Instead he is coming here to paint his brother bad over an issue as small as this! I can't remember the last time I drove my car, my younger brother is the one driving it around town & he doesn't need to take permission before doing that. Same apply to every of my property.

I know your type. You will never back down even if the truth is stoned at you. You will hold on to your argument even if it makes no sense because you cannot afford to be wrong.

So with all the shoes he has, it just has to be his brother's own that he must wear. This has left "brotherliness" to greed, covetous, arrogance and disrespect.

Your brother is driving your car because it is ok. Imagine the op waking up and preparing for work with his wife, and they go to where the car is supposed to be parked, and the brother has driven it out. You will still say it's ok. That the older brother should "jokingly" tell him and "laugh over it". Then he can go and take uber and be late for work.

Please be reasonable. That younger brother is covetous and disrespectful.

ukaface:
rest naaaah
Haba..
You no dey tire for this kine talk?

Person wey no get sense.

Chrizoby:
The most annoying part now is that my foot wears re not even exempted. Knowing too well that he is size 44 and i'm 43. He will remove the inside soles of my shoes so that he will be comfortable wearing them. He has uncountable shoes and he normally buys his accurate sizes. This last Sunday, the particular shoes I hv in mind to wear to church. I went to clean and to polish them and discovered he went to 6am mass with that shoe. I discovered he removed the inside soles as well. I was so hurt n my wife was so annoyed and wanted to confront him herself. Though I stopped her and when he came back from church and brought the matter to him. His only response was that he didn't know I want to wear the same shoes. I practically brought out all his shoes and him what happened with them. He became mute n silent.

Your brother is a greedy person. This has gone past siblings closeness. Your brother has no iota of respect for you. The fact that he can just go into your room and take out just anything is all shades of disrespectful and covetous; especially as he has enough.

In your initial post, many people tried to justify your brother's actions by using family bond and closeness as an excuse. They even castigated your gf (which is a Nairaland norm).Now, we can see that your brother has a big problem that you have enabled.

About the kitchen, if he cannot abide by you and your wife's rules, he should go back to your parents' house. I don't know why you are even housing him especially as you are newly married and do not need these kind of issues.

And you need to start locking up your room when you are out since he cannot keep his hands off your things. You and your wife should have your keys.

You are to blame for what is going on. Boundaries are important, but you didn't create any boundaries. Now, it has come back to bite you. Your wife is nice. I would have taken more drastic measures because I can't stand disrespectful people, whether my family or otherwise.

Chrizoby:
The most annoying part now is that my foot wears re not even exempted. Knowing too well that he is size 44 and i'm 43. He will remove the inside soles of my shoes so that he will be comfortable wearing them. He has uncountable shoes and he normally buys his accurate sizes. This last Sunday, the particular shoes I hv in mind to wear to church. I went to clean and to polish them and discovered he went to 6am mass with that shoe. I discovered he removed the inside soles as well. I was so hurt n my wife was so annoyed and wanted to confront him herself. Though I stopped her and when he came back from church and brought the matter to him. His only response was that he didn't know I want to wear the same shoes. I practically brought out all his shoes and him what happened with them. He became mute n silent.

@ Rubbiish, how is your sharing senselessly method now? I guess it's still the wife's fault. She is trying to separate the family, right. The younger brother is only bonding.

Brownygold002:
Hey, Nairalanders

Something has really been eating me up, I think I need to share. I'm a young gal of about more than 17, I'm brown, tall, slim, have a long curly hair (I'm from a mixed race - Lebanon and Nigeria), brown eyes and nice lips I'm endowed (no be mouth).

I'm a fresher at UNIZIK. I know I am attractive which I don't deny, I don't boast nor make anyone feel inferior. I have 3 roommates. I respect them cos I'm the youngest amongst them. But they don't seem to get along with me. I have tried everything I Can.

Each time we go out, I'm usually the center of attraction which is not new to me, nothing special. They just hate me. I don't boast. I try 2 look as simple as possible. But guys do come for me and they get jealous.

I have tried talking to them but they said they're fine but deep down I know they don't like me. The other day they intentionally frustrated me, they hid my assignments and burnt a new gown a guy at church got me. I'm tired of all these attitude everyday. I feel lyk taking my life, the hate is much. I didn't make myself. Help me guys!!

Stop sending them

Keep to yourself

Stop walking to class or anywhere with them. Cut off the "doing things together "

Forcing yourself on them is giving them power over you. Ignore them and start doing things on your own.

I had a similar issue with my classmates in uni. They had a problem with the fact that I had many male friends that would say hi to me while we were all walking together.

I solved the problem by walking on my own. They were the ones who started looking for me. But I had already changed my circle of friends.

Please cut them off with their toxicity. They are not your friends.

cloud:
Get a new room, and dont always flaunt your beauty in the presence of your roommates. Sometimes you also need to tell them how beautiful they are.

Let her pour acid on her face so that some insecure people will not feel threatened by her beauty.

Very foolish parents.

"About"

Tell her if she wants to place a curse on her own child, she should go ahead.

Please make arrangement with him and collect monthly upkeep money for the house once salary is paid. Whatever is left, he can use it to gamble, and apologize to himself when he's finished it.

fineboynl:
poverty mindset doesn't leave for people. Maybe you are one of them.

Hahaha. I grew up in a family where my dad ate lettuce, cheese, etc. But my taste buds tended more to the local. We visited the village only twice as kids, and what I enjoyed the most was the food.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Palm oil, groundnut oil, ogi, custard, etc, they are all food. Some of the foods you term as local or poverty stricken are even more expensive. It's just a matter of choice.

Spiced kulikuli

fineboynl:
. You mean concoction?

Men it has been long. For years na is rice and stew or nothing. Or a well cook party jellof rice.

Concoction is related to poverty. No matter how garnish it is or look. I don't fall for it.

That's just your mindset but some of us like local food. I pick yam and palm oil over yam and eggs. I mean palm oil with just salt. Pap over custard. I love palm oil rice. My husband does not understand the love.

So the fact that he went to the house unannounced is now the issue. The people commenting are really not well.

Whether he reports or not is left to him. Eventually the cheat will be caught.

Macolapablo:
Good afternoon comrades. Please, forgive me if I am in the wrong section.

I made an Erroneous Transfer on the 6th of January from my Gtbank account to another Gtbank account. I went to the bank to complain and I was given a form to fill. Infact, I was told the account has been blocked so there's no way the owner can withdraw the money. I was expecting the customer care official to move my money back since it has been verified that I did the transfer truely.

The funniest reply I got was that I should go and pray to God to touch the owner of the account. ABEG, WETIN CONCERN GOD with transfer? Please, any idea how I can get my money back?. Your advice will be appreciated. It's just 30k

The bank do not have the authorization to make a transfer from a customer's account. The best they can do is what they have done; to put a lien so that he won't be able to use the account until he visits the bank.

They cannot go and forcefully drag him to the bank since he didn't commit any crime. So you just have to hope and pray he visits the bank soon. Or that he is forthcoming when the bank calls him.

Justbehave:
The way most of you women talk on social media without regards and respect for your husbands make me feel pity for such men. So male kids are not capable of showing love or expressing love towards their parents?

How does my comment disrespect or disregard anyone? You should feel pity for yourself for reasoning this way.

All kids show their parents love. However, the love between a father and daughter is much deeper, much like mother and son. If you don't know, ask around.

Mariangeles:
Kriss, no human can love you like a daughter. Not even your mother.
The day you have a daughter is the day you become humane.

He cannot understand. That kind of love is deep. I look at how my daughter feeds her dad her food or drink and I'm amazed. She does some things and he will be signaling to me that the love is overwhelming .

I now went and had another daughter. The way she smiles at him even he is not looking ehn! Chai! My husband has been snatched from me.

You don't know what is wrong with you yet. When you know, you will be set free from this nonsense going on.

viceddy95:
Couples should be given privacy, that's how it starts, before you know it the woman start turning her husband against his family all in the name of privacy but no privacy when it's her family member...

Ok now. Let his own family move in with them so that they can monitor her so she won't turn their son against them.

Couples should be given privacy especially in the initial period. The only problem here is your husband not being able to stand up to his family's influence and interference.

I don't like such interference; family trying to get in our business. I don't condone it.

If your parents stay in the same city or you have a family member there, just pack some things and go spend a week or two there. Allow your SIL fend for herself till she decides to find her way home.

InTheCloudySky:
It looks like his family doesn't like or respect you, and are trying to inconvenience you in your marital home intentionally by coming to stay one after the other and being rude to boot. It would be a different story if they didn't have their own home but that's not the case here. Your husband is the only one who can put his foot down so you can enjoy your home in peace.

Unfortunately, her husband's foot has refused to touch the ground. Someone that is afraid of his parents and cannot stand up to them.