₦airaland Forum

Tyche:
This looks like a better Idea. I buy 2.5kg Nido for 34,500 and the thing don dey pepper me. Better to buy this and forget for about 5 months

What about the difference in quality ?

He's not a christain
He has not so good attitudes.

One advice

Run.

What a thread

Nawa.

bukatyne:
From the OP's tone, I doubt a conversation has been had. He insisted his wife is a good woman so this is not a case of 'give a dog a bad name and hang it'.

And this is about 5 to 7 years running. 'Don't kill me with sex' is not a conversation. If her boss or a team member complained about something for two months, she would engage them for clarity and feedback out of regard for them. She should extend same courtesy to her husband.

Hopefully, when he complains again, the wife would engage him like an adult and they reach a compromise.

Hopefully they reach a compromise.

Nice one

bukatyne:
And has she complained?

Has she discussed with her husband and told him her problem which can range from exhaustion due to chores to his lack of skills/hygiene or a lower libido compared to his or the fact she needs to recharge for a day or two before another episode or his lack of romance or hormonal imbalance or any health issues?

If the frequency is the issue for instance, has she tried negotiating with him? Daddy wa, 4 to 5 times a week twice a day is too much for me. I can guarantee you 2 to 3 times a week once a day but when I am done with you, you will see stars?

If it is exhaustion, Daddy wa, running the home drains me. I would need a maid for XYZ so that I can have more energy for you?

Ditto lack of romance or hygiene or whatever.

What I see is a lot of emotional blackmail towards the OP for a legitimate need. Others would rather he cheats than honorably divorce his wife.

The wife is not a baby and should be emotionally intelligent enough to discuss with her husband and they both reach a compromise that suits their marriage.

According to the OP the wife stated he wants to kill her with sex, that should serve as a complaint so I believe a conversation would have led to that statement. We don't have the full details of conversation so we can't be specific.

The only thing glaring is that OP seems not to see anything wrong in his demand and sees everything wrong with his wife's complaint.

I honestly do not see it as blackmail, his Co-Men are telling him his demands need to be worked on.

It is him we can talk to, his wife is not here.

If madam is complaining about the frequency which is not out of place then he should also compromise, it's that simple

altteemy:
@ADURA123,

I went through at least 10 pages before posting my view on this.

We do have a few things in common. I believe in working hard to take care of the family and at the very least in a union, everyone should play the part they have positioned themselves for.

Two areas that affect the marriages are sex and money issues. A third one is children decisions. Sex is so much important that apart from violence and infidelity reasons, a party not fulfilling their conjugal duties is also grounds for divorce in court.

Whomever is not ready for sex in marriage should not even undertake that task. That's why marriage is not for kids.

ADURA123, you have the finances covered by having a savings habit that will secure the future for decades to come. Please don't give a heed to those who believe in eating their savings. Some families still manage that 100k as a combined income. You might however increase it based on recent inflation. If this would affect your investment savings, you could consider that extra side hustle you've put aside all this while. Everything will add up with time.

Your intimacy game is top notch considering most Nigerian men do not believe in going down on their woman and that's a pointer that her clitoris wasn't circumcised. If she enjoys it too, and you're not a low timer man, why should she deny you? Excessive "I am tired" is not doing her any good here.

One aspect where you're feeling betrayed is that if your best friend could deny you, surely any other woman has a higher chance of doing same and probably much more. This is why you are not even considering remarrying. I guess resenting her is probably happening too.

Still with all this, you plan on setting her with a million and I believe you would still send monthly upkeep. I assume making regular calls to the family from your new base and occasional visits so as not to make the vacuum too obvious. I respect your planning of not making your absence felt.

I feel your wife is being comfortable that you would not cheat. Your dad's advice is honorable. After all, it is this same nairaland that even feminists say that if a man is not satisfied with just one woman, he should divorce and not bring diseases home to an innocent woman. Also, you seem to have agreed with her on no second wife despite your religion allowing it.

Finally, after telling her to change for 6 years and you feel you were simply used as a child making factory for the early years, you've had enough and you wish to have a good life and enjoy what your expectations should be. You're not wrong doing so.

Then I came to 4-5 times a week and [b]two hours a session, brother, I want to tell you to instantly ignore all I posted above as it does not apply to you

A weekly average of 3 times a week well spaced would do you both a refreshing romantic marriage till your old days. A Google search would point to once a week. There really is truth to Wifey's claim to tiredness
Find a way to work it out with your lovely woman. You already have everything.

Maybe reduce the length of the sessions or reduce the number of times per week. Either of this would help. You don't have an issue dear.

Wishing you well - Teemy

I hope the OP will listen to your advice especially the last paragraph.

I am still waiting for the woman that won't complain about OP's request and it's even 2 rounds per session.

E no fit happen for this Lagos we dey hustle so.

It's a serious something!!!

Leilami:
Thank you! Very wicked man.
I saw 5 times I fear. Who knows maybe he reduced it to 5times set so we won't bash him it could have been everyday.
I am even feeling sorry for his wife.
He should hit the gym and use up his excessive energy there.
I hardly get upset when I read stories but this one vexed me I logged in immediately.
The funniest part he doesn't even know he is the one with the issue.
What an appetite.

The woman does have a right to complain with the appetite.

Though I have seen a thread on this same NL where a man said he expects to have sex with his wife everyday, a mother with a toddler and he didn't see anything wrong with it.

ADURA123:
4-5 times a week, pls note not " round" i mean on each act we do two round only. lets say early morning and night

4-5 times a week 2 rounds is too much, too much no wonder she says you want want to kill her.


I doubt there's any woman married for 13 years with children who will not complain having sex 4-5 times a week morning and night (two rounds each) that will not complain. Even younger couples too will complain. This is the truth except we want to deceive ourselves.

You will need to adjust your appetite sir.

jiggar:
God bless for what you wrote.

A lot of guys don't voice out their opinions anymore on Nairaland, because of these penchant knack to abuse others, for any contrary opinion.

The OP voiced her opinion, and it's not as if she said, people shouldn't leave the country, but just to be careful of your expectations when you finally travel out.

Well, like you said ... Prepare for more attacks OP

👌👌👌👌

Hopefully Banky will win.

This is one of the things I hate on Japa threads, the lady made a lot of sense in her write up and it's even a very balanced post but she will be attacked just like others.

It's like no body noticed other things she said, about the pressure those at home give those abroad etc.


Prepare for more attacks OP

Nawa.

Even those who block drainages with waste are having opinions.

Sensational headline as usual, Igando road is Igando road which one is road leading to general hospital

Una don start again.

This thread funny fa..


My Friend who will be 35 this year just came to visit the husband who is based in Naija this past December, she's not been around for quite some time, she returned back to base some weeks later.


She had a baby girl last week.

One visit ooo, she carry something back to the abroad.

Looks like an interesting event, trust Naija to bring our vibes to the place.

rajiedreez:
He forced himself against the will and decree of your God, how powerful is that your God that a mere mortal will force his decree not to come to pass.

If it's the God me I know o, nothing will happen except for that which He has decreed and no one can change his will.

Loool, you don't even need to explain at all.

What I ended up realizing after the whole election huallbo is God destined Tinubu to be President same way Abiola was never destined to be president.

Truth is bitter.


Those people disgraced christainity honestly. They dragged the altar of God to disrepute, used the altar for politics, campaigned in church. The amount of venom people spilled from the altar was so terrible ehn.

Madness.... No better description.


It is only Iginlas prophecy that came to pass. It was even after the election people brought it out. The man sef said hope you people won't stone me if I say this man will be your president.


Anyway even in the Bible the a lying tounges in the mouth of prophets to deceive Ahab so issorite, its not a new thing. I kings 22.

I thought speaking in tounges was holy spirit inspired Infact it is inspired by the holy spirit.

Abifarin16:
People who cannot pray for 15 minutes straight in words are criticizing speaking in tongues. I have seen the place were a newly converted person in a village where there is no road and they fetch water from Mike's away from a stream was told about Jesus Christ, she accepted and was prayed for and the person blasted in tongues.

The problem with most of us Christians we don't understand spiritual things, person wey Na only on Sunday's e dey manage study Bible. And the study of for argument not to gain understanding. Read books about your faith and about the topic then you will understand that is simply than you make it up to be.
Because one sins so he should'nt pray in tongues.

If you have not built your prayer life to that level don't criticize unnecessarily.

When Hannah was praying for a Child the prophet Eli thought she was drunk.

Problem never hit you, when you don't use words tire the spirit go loosen you tongue.

In her case her co-wife was having children and she was'nt do you know what that means tobacco women?

Their is very little about spiritual things that post of you know and with this arrogance and excessive criticism you will not know much.

Their is no one more blind than he that will not see.

This scenerio is not what the OP is portraying, obviously the holy spirit descended on the new convert.

He's not criticizing speaking in tounges, if you have not experienced what he's saying you might not understand. You are talking of the proper way it is and it should be.

Heck people even use tounges as a form of exclamation or interjection during normal discussion. I Don hear orishirishi from people and I wonder and it's mostly New generation church people. My neighbor is an example.

There was a day I was in awe, we were pricing meat at the bustop and this woman and 12 year old daughter came to buy, she was on a Programe speaking in tounges, also at the same time signaling to the girl to tell the meat seller it's 10k last she will pay for the meat she would move up and down speaking I tounges maybe it's zoom Programe sef I don't know. Na so I just dey look in wonder, the whole scenerio was a terrible one.The meat seller kuku said let her finish programme.

Information management is very terrible these days. Nawa.

My own concern is those accusing people testifying in church.

Anybody can testify for anything it's a personal experience, so those that has VD shouldn't testify again?

Same way we talk about those testifying after passing through IVF, saying they won't say it's IVF but will go testify in church.

Nawa. Let the people testify in peace.

ADURA123:
If she will change I am ready to take her back in my heart the way it use to be, but right now I don't even feel like I am living with someone at home, I just fell I am accommodating her pending when the all my plans is out in public..but she has a up till next month to prove she can stay.
How can you not meet your wife 4-5 times a week and someone is telling me to be calm, all I do now is eat, play with my phone and sleep...I stay in Gwarinpa I know where to go and have girls for free, even kubwa is not far from me, I dey AbJ for almost 20yrs now so I am not new here...but thanks alot

What do you mean by meet? Is it se.x?

If it is then I think you really might need to reduce your expectation. 4-5 times a week seems to be on the high side. Lots of women will actually complain with this frequency.

Loool what a thread, hilarious comments.


Acidosis is on point though.


Reduce her workload first then the sex will increase but will the OP listen? Maybe maybe not.

ADURA123:
No...this I can swear with anything...she is not just meeting my sexual needs, simple, she complained I have too much sex drive and she is not ready to be killed

How often do you ask from her that she's thinking she would be killed.

Do you have too much sex drive as she says?


Either way it's not worth having a divorce, you guys should work it out.

Young man listen to me.. You are not a lawyer
I will not take that back

jmoore:
Meters are meant to be the property of DISCOs.

Any amount spent by a customer to buy a prepaid metre is refunded by the DISCO via free energy tokens.

Which disco? definitely not Eko electric and Ikeja electric.

Even the 100 units that come with it, you pay for it during your first recharge.

Even the discos don't claim this at their office.

id911:
@NoToPile How can I contact you please? I want to ask/clarify something from you. Thanks

Whats the something about?
You can mention me on a dead thread

I don't even understand what people are saying. If she was your daughter would you take the nonsense?

So if your 12 year old daughter folds pant with poop and it smells you would condone that behaviour.

If she beats her 6 year old brother with belt head till he has to be treated you will condone such behaviour.

Your 12 year old daughter cannot clean the vomit of the younger one if the parents are not around.

You no go flog the rubbish out of her head?

Reason why I don't advice people to take other people's children in, the nonsense they can't take from their own children they would be expected to condone it.

You can NEVER discipline a child living with you and be right, you will always be at fault.

So a 12 year old doesn't know it's wrong to fold pants with poop, also doesn't know it's wickedness to flog with Iron head of belt.

Send the girl back abeg. If it's your daughter you know how you will handle the MATTER, if you discipline her now you will be a WICKED UNCLE.

SEND HER BACK.


Every body go dey form child right advocate for Nairaland, Radarada.

Tamed?
Paid 300k for CS and hoped he would respect her more for that.

Abeg I can't deal,

Make I go read page 2 just first page I am vexing

With the way Nigerians don't listen to instructions? Let the 4 weeks be used again for warning and re warning before a quarter of those who ply that route become electrocuted.

Upon all the barricades and instructions people that will jump will jump.

Solid thread.

'When you make someone cry tears will always follow you'

Only the wise /deep one will understand this statement.


This is a front page worthy thread.

I actually used to think he was not Nigerian.


Deep songs.

This thread funny die, that guy on first page dey Para wella.

You do have a valid reason to be confused.

But I am not a fan of families living continents apart, it's not healthy.

God help you sir.

And finally a very sane Japa thread with fair comments.