It get as it be o

Cookie14:
This is the reason alot of men have lost respect in the eyes of their wives. Every woman likes a man who can take charge/lead almost in all aspect. And If a man wants the splitting of Bill's then there definitely will be splitting of chores and all the major decisions. That's the way its suppose to be if we want to follow in the western ways fully.

Abeg who respect help. Wait let me take respect to the bank

What chore are we talking about abeg. Is your house Oshodi market abi who no get vacuum cleaner and washing machine/washer man in this present day. Even cooking sef, it is not as if you are turning out 30 different delicacies a month

Let us assume you even want to be traditional, it means your so called husband has the final say and you have zero opinion. You go like am line that ?

I found it quite amusing when people discuss this

There is a camp of women who claim they don’t contribute because they do other things. Most women who claim to do those other things don’t actually do anything
- washing : there is washing machine or a washer man that comes around weekly
- child care : they have househelp and lesson teacher coming around including the father sorting out homework
- cooking: bulk order from one iya kasali every thursday

So tell me exactly what special thing you are doing…

Most of the things I have listed is what I have seen play out in most average Nigerian families. Now let us get back to the discussion, you claim to be just a support right ? Do you know how much weight a supporting pillar carries ?

So when you say your money is your money you really need to have your head examined. This is why some men will want to relegate their wives to the background because of this primitive thinking

What exactly is the purpose of being married if you will keep your resources to yourself

My submission, I don’t even support 50/50. I believe the two partners should bring all their resources together and then jointly use it to make their lives better together

Unfortunately the only thing most women bring to the table is just Manchester and big yansh

where do you people find all these hungry girls. You better keep your money and grow your life. If a woman is not bringing anything to the table apart from her body then please free her. You shouldn't be paying for her hair or anything for that matter. Both of you should be bringing money together for the mutual benefit of both parties not leeches disguising as girlfriends.

I see premium tears in your future
I see children from multiple fathers
I see her with the bank MD
I see your bed with several men and women

Ah I see things

I had my honeymoon at Epe resort in 2017. Chai dem overfeed person oh. Very clean and nice environment. The staffs were quite professional too. They did their job diligently without lingering around or indirectly demanding "change" I enjoyed the pool and the daily servings of peppered snails

I spent my day ramming into my beautiful wife and my nights relishing the dishes

Gosh I miss that place

I had my honeymoon at Epe resort in 2017. Chai dem overfeed person oh. Very clean and nice environment. The staffs were quite professional too. They did their job diligently without lingering around or indirectly demanding "change"0 I enjoyed the pool and the daily servings of peppered snails

I spent my day ramming into my beautiful wife and my nights relishing the dishes

Gosh I miss that place

so, u re tellin me tht he make 5.0 in is first and second semester of his final year? U re a big idiom....

Yes he did. Don’t call people names just because there experience is not the same as yours. Unless you have facts to dispute my claim

You have an interesting story and I will table a few action plans for you.

1. Take a trip to USA or let her come down to Nigeria for a short trip - You will understand each other's mannerisms and perspective to life better with a short trip.

2. You are both in the age where everyone believes you should be married or popping out babies so there is a tendency for people to link you up so that your sole focus is planning a life together- DO NOT fall for this. You have to get to know each other without the bias of settling together (tough call).

3. Does she have a student loan and how much? This is the kind of financial burden you may have to bear.

4. Who else knows her apart from the people that introduced her. What are her facebook posts/Instagram/Twitter/Whatsapp stories and shares like. You can easily build up a profile based on this.

5. Where do you guys plan to settle if this pans out well. It is incredibly hard to just "move from Nigeria" and start practising medicine in the USA. I have several Nigerians as family friends who have not been able to get into the Medical System in USA after finishing Medicine in OAU and postgrad in USA. You have tons of difficult exams to write and a very competitive application process that puts people who schooled abroad ahead of you. It is still easier to get into the UK system by writing IELTS, Plab1 and Plab2 in that order.

Like several people have said, you are both coming from different backgrounds and have probably imbibed different idealogies and perspective about life. Marrying across the pond is a very big gamble irrespective of race. You therefore have to carry out a lot of due diligence. Marriage itself is a gamble but there are so many obvious things you can iron out before you decide on settling with a partner

I wish you all the best bro.

Ngenge:
Sir, you have no heir if you depart this world

What exactly is the purpose of having a heir

Marriage is one big pot of ila asepo.

Stories abound of people who married their BESSSSSSSSSSSST friends. There were the ideal couple, the best of the best and the envy of many but their marriage broke down in less than 3 years of marriage. I have come to the conclusion that marriage is a blind game of luck.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Why exactly are you married if you have to hide things from your spouse? What has next of kin got do do with finances? What baffles me most is that people sign up for marriage with the intent of hiding things from each other. You really need your head examined. Looks like you already have an exit plan ehn

I and my wife have known about each other’s finances long before we got married. She knows how I earn every kobo and I know hers too. The money we earn separately is spent jointly o making our lives better

bigmodo:
I am an As and I am getting married to an As. I love this girl so much that I am moving forward to marry her.

We have done our introduction and our traditional marriage is next month. I know the complications of an As marrying As in the issues of children they might give birth to. But I have no choice. I want to marry the love of my life.

I know love has clouded your judgement but please DO NOT DO IT!.

Visit someone living with sickle cell and see for yourself what the realities of their everyday life is. If you are happy living with frequent hospital visits and deaths then please go ahead otherwise, you have to rethink this.

However if you have money sha, you may be able to find out the genotype of the fetus before it is born but then you have a few moral to think about.

Akinsoladwayne:
Hi everyone! So I was at my brother's house yesterday and could you believe his wife cooked rice for me and served me with a meat I mean just a meat.

This is the person that knows how choosy I could be when it comes to eating.

I'd recall vividly before my brother married her, then when I visit my brother at his place I do the cooking and the least meat/fish I'd always dish my food with could be two or three.
But I have been wondering how on earth would she serve me her in-law with just a meat.
This is an insult of the highest order, like I'm gonna need to call my brother's attention to it.

Well at the end of the day I had no choice than to eat the food like that with the one meat she served me. The food self no sweet.

If you like bant me, it's none of my fuvking business.

It is none of our business so why are you bringing it here ?
Forward thinking generations are thinking of the solution to the current pandemic and the next generation of technologies, you are here moaning over a piece of meat

Is it your house? Did you buy the meat? Ungrateful Man

AmazingMOG:
It will never be well with those that took the life of that girl.


May thier generation be cursed even to thier third generation

Cursed be to their families, siblings, even to thier nuclear and external families may thier root be cursed.


Cursed be to all the athiest on this forum may they be victims of Corona virus since they've declared war on Christianity may they never know peace may all the athiest and islamist insulting Christianity daily on this forum their lives may it be miserable, may thier lives be cut short.


If I he a man of God!

You are not a man of God with the way you go about cursing people.

I honestly still don’t know why people pay anyone to “process” admission. Are they agents of the school? You are literate and have access to the internet. What stops you from going through the process yourself. The word “process” admission only applies to Naija schools

That’s how my sister spent unreasonable money too in the name of admission. I and my other siblings did ours by ourselves to U.K. universities. Everything you need is online free of charge.
If you have evidence of what transpired - receipts, emails, signature, terms and contract of engagement then involve a lawyer straight away not SARS

You need to break up with this girl and do it tonight!!! It will surely end in tears for you if you continue like this


This is the same girl you have come to write about on different occasions

Run run
Flag down the nearest bike and run

It will end in tears and this kind of woman will make you die young

dubemnaija:
My friend is 24, a graduate, and does a fairly paid job. He recently started wooing a 16-yr-old SS2 student through her aunt (The girl lives with her mom's sister). According to him, he wants to nurture this girl probably for marriage .

He told me about it today and I was stunned. He said he wanted to get as many advice as possible, so he'd know the next line of action to take..

Don't do it! I have been there twice. They eventually grow up and become adventurous.

If you must do it however, allow her to get into university....

Teyonie:
I was surprised and sad when I checked his phone and realised that he doesn't keep my text messages even the ones he sends to me but he kept one other one from another lady, what could this mean please? I'm anticipating your opinions o cos I don't want to react wrongly. Thanks.

He's cheating or considering other options

My ex did that to me too and it turned out that I was correct.

fadolak::


I don't support you on that. That she cheated now doesn't mean she will cheat in the marriage.
Am not saying she did a good thing but please forgive her and give her another chance.

adahgold:

sorry to say this sis most marriages today crash because of this you know y because the threat has been there from the beginning,as the Nigeria saying goes he or she will change after we get married,sis as for me there is nothing like second chance if you catch ur own bf cheat give him second chance u hear. Marriage is not a child's play someone has to be extremely careful have you consider the psychological trauma the guy has to deal with thinking he's gf cheated on him,am not sure you have thought about that.

I agree with you oh my brother don't mind fadolak. That's how my own came crying and begging the first time. And then she repeated it over and over and over again. Once a CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT!!!

issylarry:
I had the greatest shock of my life last week, which I never still believe why it happened to me. To cut the story short,I had a fiancee which we have been planning on getting married. In The course of time have been so familiar with her mum and siblings and we were just about preparing for our introduction. Due to the nature of my work I live in lagos and she stays at Ibadan, have been so faithful to her(you all know what am talking about).

On the 16th of aug, (saturday), I told her I was going to come around on the 19th. (Wednesday). when I got to Ibadan on wednesday, I checked-in in a guest house closer to her house. I was so happy been around her again, because I believed since her mum knows me, mehn, I thought I owned her. (That was the best mistake have ever made),Later in the night she was called by her brother to come over, so she decided to go and attend to her brother leaving me with her phone. Seriously,when she left I was just staring at the phone for some minutes and later I decided to check out for some more lovely pictures of my ironical wife. As time goes by I then decided to glance through her chats (wasn't intentional but didn't know what springed that up in me) Her recent chats was laced accordingly to how recent the chats has been. My chats with her was first,then I opened the 2nd chat(what I saw was crazy).

My so called ironical fiancee have been cheating on me. The chats was like my gf initiated the chat with him. She went to his place on Monday and they had sex. This is the lady I want to marry o,seriously I feel love doesn't truely exist. Its just a name not an ACT anymore. I got annoyed and asked her out of my room because if I should see her I could inflicts my annoyance on her(she might end up in hospital).

Now,what can I do? she's been begging me not to tell her elder brother .The mum hasn't heard anything about what transpired, even her siblings and have decided to let them know, so that they would know the kind of daughter they are living with(Packaged-slut). Is that the right decision? Or should I just delete every contacts I have with her? What can I do? Her mum do call me sometimes, now its so obvious am breaking up the relationship! But do I have to tell her mum or siblings who can understand how I really feel about it! Please, can you share me some advice or perspectives! I will appreciate it.

Wow pele my guy.

I have experienced this first hand and let me let you know that either way it flips, you won't like it.

1. You can't report her to her family for whatever reason because you are the ONLY ONE that saw some fraction of the EVIDENCE which by now no longer exist.
2. No FAMILY will ACCEPT that their daughter is a SERIAL CHEAT - I have been there
3. If you break up with her right now, believe me she has a well edited version of the story that she is already spreading even before you take the step. Mine told people that we had a minor misunderstanding and the wolf pack abused me for breaking up.
4. If you ACCEPT her back, she will CHEAT AGAIN - Mine cheated 4 times even preaching Matthew 18:22 to my face (That babe de craze). The flashes of her cheating on you will NEVER leave you trust me.

People will tell you that the next lady could be WORSE. What if the next lady is a SAINT? What if that one will be faithful? And for the records I never cheated on ANY lady and I don't intend to.

I walked away and now I have the best woman on earth.

My submission - Just walk away quietly

Where is the proof that he cheated?

This is how insinuations turns into a bad rumour which is then accepted as the real story.

Yes someone "claimed" a certain Anita Solomon is pregnant. Abeg who witnessed the conception? Have they done a DNA test to prove that by some miracle, it is his? Has Anita Solomon publicly or privately informed anyone with "proofs" that the "said" pregnancy belongs to Maje?

Going by Maje's rants on social media, he has truly overreacted but then who wouldn't based on people who will carry the first hint of rumour and turn it into a hot fact as if they witnessed EVERYTHING.

He is still INNOCENT until PROVEN guilty. My two kobo

How come all these pastors sabi future partner and yet they can't profer solutions to the future of Nigeria. So typical. Either you follow your parents wishes or not, every marriage will have its own peculiar challenge, twists and turns. Marry the person you love and make sure you are in right standing with God. Every born-again christian is a child of God and has equal opportunity to know the mind of God too.

tpiadotcom:


the west has unions too.

Yes but they don't cripple the system with it. They negotiate with sense. I studied and live in the west

idu1:
after the stress of getting phd that's what they earn?

Sadly yes

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary
Drinks and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

I believe she's a double-minded person, testing out men as if they are commodity, she's even sleeping with one of them mtschew. Chai, the men don carry one chance. She deserves everything that comes to her

handsometokunbo:


It's not easy to move on when you had once loved a guy. You ll continue to love him unless it was infatuation in the first place.

I was with a girl for 2yrs, we Bleep everywhere, anywhere and anyhow. We can't stay in a room without sex. If we are tired, we usually stayed in each other without sex( my Dick in her). If I m cooking in the kitchen, we ll have sex as if tomorrow would never come. On her way home at night, we ll quickly had a quickie quickie in the abandoned phone booth at street junction. That was how closed we were.

She went for a burial in Nigeria but couldn't wait for 2 weeks without sex. I decided to look for another babe before she comes back. I got one babe who spent about 1 week at my place and we carried on after she came back. 3mths into the clandestine relationship, the other became pregnant and refused to abort.

Finally, marriage came but my mind is always with my other lady. She got married too but we still found one way or the other to see each other.

That was how bad true love is.

You lack self control, this has nothing to do with love.

Love is when you have reason/get tempted to knowingly or unknowingly hurt the other person and choose to restrain yourself

directonpc:
Just wondering why our 99% percent of our websites and applications are based on some wysiwyg cms or framework. The sites with high traffic in Nigeria are mostly e-commerce sites and blogs running on one platform that was developed by some white guy somewhere.
Even simple non-dynamic html sites are built from templates in Nigeria. We are the Giants of Africa and this practice is won't up our game in the web development industry if u ask me.
Is it that we are scared of coding or we are dull?

*NL isn't perfect but am happy it's not just another WordPress blog. I pray the owner can get a good team to make NL more social.
Please CMS lovers do not insult me if you don't like what am saying.

Nairaland was built on the SMF framework. I guess alot of tweaks got it to where it is today. Why reinvent the wheel when you can build on exisiting ones?

BBC and whitehouse.gov both run on a stripped down version of drupal with alot of tweaks and modifications.

It also has alot to do with convenience, end-user proficiency, agreements and ultimately budget. You don't drive a passenger from lagos to abuja just because you know how to drive whereas he is only willing to pay #3000 for the journey.

soe:
do you know how much NHS Nurses are paid?

The minimum starting salary for a registered nurse is £21,478.

The NHS pay scale for nurses: Band 1 - 7: £14,294 - 40,558
Band 8(A-D) - 9: £39,239 - £98,453

In the most junior hospital trainee post (equivalent to house officers in Nigeria)
(Foundation Year 1) - £22,636.
Foundation Year 2 -£28,076.

doctor in specialist training - £30,002 - £47,175.
Specialty doctors - £37,176 - £69,325.
Consultants - £75,249 - £101,451
General practitioners :£55,412 - £83,617

Everything above minus tax

soe:

feed your eyes and stop being sadonic

www.glassdoor.co.uk/Salaries/senior-lecturer-salary-SRCH_KO0,15.htm

You can't use glassdoor as a guide. This is a more verifiable source - http://www.prospects.ac.uk/higher_education_lecturer_salary.htm

soe:
oga, i am also in the system and i know what i am saying. Get to where it is happening first before you start to cry fowl

Take it easy, no one is crying fowl. See facts the http://www.prospects.ac.uk/higher_education_lecturer_salary.htm

soe:
OMG, whereas, in the UK, a fresh lecturer's starting salary is about £41,000 per annum ( Pls in the interest of health and safety, converting this to Naira without a four figure table is strongly discouraged)

This is a lie. In UK you first have to do a post-doc and the typical salary is £24000 - £29000 per annum before 20% tax. Before you can become a "fresh" lecturer you typically have to do a post-doc for 2 - 5 years.

Salaries for higher education (HE) lecturers range from £33,000 - £43,000+. (Look at the band oh, not fresh lecturer, minus tax 20 - 30%)
At a senior level with increased management responsibilities, salaries can range from £39,000 to £56,000.( minus 30 - 40% tax)

And remember that the living standard is not the same so with the conversion of x 250, don't allow your eye pop yet. I am in the system and so I know what I am talking about