₦airaland Forum

Bantino:
Every couple argues, and this is normal. However, if a conflict is prolonged, it can lead to a deplorable outcome. Below are some ways to end argument between couples most times, learn and practice accordingly.

(1) Remember there is another point of view:
Forgetting that both partners are involved in the relationship can cause aggression. Flexibility is always better: when you discuss both points of view, strong arguments come to the surface and draw attention from both sides. Don't always see things from your own view at all times.

(2) Don’t criticize the person:
Criticizing your partner’s personality will only aggravate the situation, especially if you do it deliberately. Do not insult your partner, but talk about the specific actions that upset you. Be kind enough to let him or her know his/her actions that hurt you but do not generalize on his/her behaviour

(3) Don’t discount feelings:
Speak your feelings and address the feelings of your partner, showing your interest in their emotional state. Let him/her know that most things he/she says upsets him/her equally might be upsetting to you too as a human being

(4) Do not assume your worst thoughts are true:
Don’t think your partner is always up to no good when away from you. This can only provoke a new quarrel. Clarify the motives of your partner’s behavior and don't assume negative things.

(5) Don’t look down on your partner:
Do not express your superiority over your partner. This way you show them they aren’t good enough for you. Suggest looking for a solution to the problem together. Don't say I know what is good for you, rather ask for his/her opinion and think it through together.

(6) Don’t look for someone to blame:
It is wrong to debate who’s guilty. The event has already happened. It is now better to spend time figuring out what the best exit strategy is. Trying to pinpoint who started the argument will lead to more degenerated conversation, it is best you channel that energy to seeking out the solution.

(7) Don’t recall old misunderstandings:
Reminding your partner of past arguments will not fix situations from the past, and it will provoke a new quarrel. Discuss what’s bothering you right away. After the situation is resolved, save yourself some grief and don’t return to it, this probably will bring back "forgotten anger" that will ultimately want to be addressed thereby heating up the argument.


Do you agree? Also feel free to add yours. (matured minds only)

Charleys:
Because he's going to turn the family members against the wife when he returns.

And the family will know that he (the man) has failed in not taking care of his brother.

And they will never forget...

HigherEd:
Post on Instagram



https://www.instagram.com/p/CCOy5dWDKla/?igshid=1xlxhfw6hdj1m

WonderWoman5775:
That's part of many problems we have in Nigeria family system, this guy is the last born and the responsibility to raise him up and help set up his future has been shifted to his elder brother... Why bring many children into the world if you are not ready to take care of all of them, what if the elder brother was not financially stable, now I'm not saying it's bad to assist the junior ones but parents should not give birth to plenty children and leave the last born to the mercy of the elder ones

Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.

Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me

vybzkartel:
I proposed love to her though knowing that she had a guy
Wanted to marry her but she said she will think about it. Later she said No so I moved on.

I decided to avoid her totally since I wanted the feeling I had for her to die since I couldn't get her...I wouldn't call nor message for about a month and then she would either call or message me. This cycle has gone on for about three years. Anytime I decide to forget her, she will call or message asking why I don't call and bla bla. When she does that and I decide to call or message her, she would give excuses and hang up or quit chats.

When I shun her, she will find her way back to call me or message me. Should I blacklist her and block her on messenger?

If she doesn't love me and can't date me, why can't she let me be? Please advise

bankulizer:
Yes i did board designed matatus with music, some with screens. I boarded one near that tall building that was bombed but rebuilt. I can't remember the name of that area. Someone actually took me there to see the buiIding. I took Bodaboda too. Then Mpessa is a nice fintech.

bankulizer:
I have been to Nairobi and Mombasa few times for business holidays. Kenyans are very organized. Nairobi is a beautiful city especially Upper Nairobi, kileleshwa and co. Omg, English Point Marina Hotel in Mombasa is sweeeeet...Sweet Trips.. Corona, why?

1Sharon:
My thoughts too. Probably why they were pussfooting around him

One4me:
Did you watch and listen to the Video?
Did you not hear where she said "The Police came but did not remove him"?
The 'White Cops' at times feel and allow Black families to self-destruct afteral, it is to their generational disadvantage.
Black parents need to sit down and decide fi they want to remain slaves to the Whites, forvere or not and it starts from how they raise their children

This is not anything "mental case".
It is just a case of a wayward, overly wayward Child (he is not more than 16yrs old) as a result of bad upbringing.
His problems started a long time ago and basically it boils down to a lack of father figure in the house.
The West is filled with lot of this sort of Children and the common thread is that they are raised by their Single Mothers.

revolt:
how can you call the police. She raised that child. No parent should EVER call the police on a child you raised. The child is a product of how you handled him. Its your fault as a parent. Live with the consequences... its very unfair on that child.

Mikeiron78:
I see a mentally retarded boy that the Nigerian parents failed because the mental health was not sought for, there are many of these kids in the western world that their Nigerian or African parents fail because of the stigma attached to seeking help for these kids. Police was not called because of fear of mental health that will be required.

mandalorian:
Hello house, my boy is barely one month old and he developed this skin issue. One of my colleagues said it is Ela(Yoruba) but from my experience, ela use to manifest as very red tiny rashes around the neck and joints.

Now this one is not on his neck (though it is in both his elbow joints, scarcely on his Tommy and this morning I say it at the back of his knee), his skin molts around the rashes. I just can't completely describe it that's why I included the pics.

I need help elders in the house. I took him back to the hospital where he was born but they said it will go but I don't like the look.

Mods pls help me push to fp.

Rextizzle:
That's what I was thinking too, why is this one different

ExAngel007:
A dog is on the brink of death after it was allegedly shot by a policeman for refusing to allow them into a home in Akure.

According to eyewitnesses, the police officers "invaded" no. 6, Samson Ogunleye street, Omi Agagu, Olufoam Area in Akure, at about 7am today, June 24. The dogs guarding the compound refused to let them in, so an officer allegedly opened fire on one of the dogs.

The dog is now in critical condition. In photos shared online, the dog is seen bleeding profusely with its organs hanging outside its body.



https://mobile.twitter.com/YemieFASH/status/1275699073060950017/photo/1

The police have reacted on Twitter by stating that an investigation has been initiated.



https://mobile.twitter.com/PoliceNG_CRU/status/1275709292470046720?p=v

Below are more tweets narrating the incident with graphic photos.

triplechoice:
Ok. I get you.
But the real reason I am against antidepressants as cure is that when you stop taking them you go into a relapse.
Also the side effects which comes from taking those drugs can create further problems or damages to ones health.

There are alternative remedies for depression.

However, I understand that some people are prone to being depressed due to other underlining health issues .

So for those group of persons, they would need some form of medication to manage what makes them susceptible.

triplechoice:
This is not completely true. Science does not know the actual cause of depression. The reason it is difficult to treat with medication.

Antidepressants are band-aids you continue to depend on them without really getting cured. Even when you do get cured you're prone to having a relapse when you're faced with the same situation which caused it in the first instance.

The hormonal imbalance you talked about is the effect of something they did not reach you in medical school.

If you want to put out a fire you don't blow at the smoke.

Kobicove:
How can a 55year old man who is relatively well to do says he is suffering from depression.

He's a nutcase as far as I'm concerned!

Sunisonflex39:
what the hell is rehsus or what are those people discussing over there. someone enlighten me

Carchoice:
haba!!! What are you guys even discussing? Which is is Rhesus ontop the matter again? Never heard of this. Is this a factor to consider before marriage??

Foetus dying!! This one shock me

ifytrik:
After sleeping with hundreds of men and performing countless abortions, she taught no maga will fall but to her greatest surprise dis mugu still fall for her yakata

shadeyinka:
You are well brought up.

Is anything free in life?

Once you collect from someone, the person must receive some special benefits

Ybaby:
Ok!

Tag me when you create a thread.

Lorazepam:
Ehn you are shortsighted na (myopia)
Glasses doesn't fix your vision. it only aids the vision, moreover at times, myopia gets worse till the individual gets to a particular age, then it begins to stabilise.

Go and see ophthalmologist for eye examination so they can give you your ideal glasses prescription, you are probably using a wrong prescription at the moment. You can also use the opportunity to do a full eye exam, check your eye pressure, glaucoma screening, etc.

Greenbullet:
I hear guys saying all girls are gold diggers at any small request, but why refer to a girl as a gold digger if you can not care for her needs.

Many people venture into relationship these days and most male partners do not understand their role, one basic role is your ability to provide for your household, if you can not do this then you are not a man but a weakling, if your female partner request for money most times it is not to "gold dig" rather is it to test your financial capacity and reasoning.

I wonder how some guys think "if she loves me she won't ask for anything". Excuse me are you all right? She loves you and intends to spend her life with you so she is trying to assess what your financial limits are so she can add to it or know how to request.

Imagine a boyfriend not being able to pay for his girlfriend's hair or even buy her a new shoe or even just give her money to buy foodstuff, and saying " am I her parents?" Well you are more than that because the moment you asked her into your life, you also asked her needs and accepted her as your responsibility.

PLEASE STOP DATING IF YOU CAN'T LEARN THE MAIN responsibility ATTACHED TO IT

thesicilian:
And yet they haven't caught the rapists? Semen all at the crime scene is almost like saying the rapists dropped their ID cards at the scene before leaving!

SegFault:
Bipolar

SegFault:
What do you say about someone who easily forgets things, has inadequate connection of thoughts, an issue of compulsive overeating and anger issues?

AdamsAbubakar:
I tend to forget where I keep my stuff easily, and it's really annoying. I may do something right now and forget it seconds later. Ironically, I remember things like names of people, what people said and the faces of people easily and accurately. I can still remember the surnames and names of my ex-classmates in secondary school perfectly, and the names and surnames of 202 people in my class at the University level.

My forgetfulness, however, petrifies me a lot as I'm 22 years old. What could be wrong? Should I be worried or it's normal at such an age?

Mods please help me push it to the FP let me get replies from the good people of NL.