₦airaland Forum

Wick3:
Nice! I can tell you are married, probably for close to a decade. You are talking from experience.

Hahaha, my dear, I am for two decades now
When it comes to marriage, lots of sacrifices are made for the sake of peace and unity and especially for the children who are expected to extend the relationships

Friendship is easier than marriage

Marriage have baggages while friendship doesn't have

blaise26abj:
I disagree respectfully with this . Any family that will not be objective in any disagreement or fight between you and your fiancée or husband because you are not close to them is a bad family. you shouldn’t be a part of such a family . The Yoruba says , a bad wife/husband can still be managed but bad in-laws are a no-no .

It is wrong to only fight for people you are close to or family . You should always fight for what is Right irrespective of who the person is .

Did you read where she said her guy, told her that his family asked him questions about his woman, he waved it away and they asked him another time and ever since then, his countenance changed

So what does this mean to her, that he listens to his siblings and to me, there is nothing wrong with that

Advise her to mix up, simple and not countering what I said

emmanuelbrown26:
Comment from a very sensible woman

Lol, thanks

Havilaah1:
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.

I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.

Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.

The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).

This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event.
Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.

I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions.
How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.


God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.

I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation.
Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view.
Roctation
farano
Please help move to front page for wider view.

It's obvious you do t just like relating with people and you don't see why you have to, but let me put somethings right to you

As a matter of fact, that you and your guy loves yourselves is not enough reason to carry on, family or no family

As it is now, your guy could get another lady that is head over heals I've his family and the family may advise him to drop you that you don't relate the wah this babe does. No matter your bond, he will follow his family, do you know why ?

Non of his family members can fight for you because you don't relate with them so they don't connect with you

If for example you have issues with your guy in this marriage, they will never stand with you because you didn't come close to them for them to understand you

Lastly they have concluded that you are not friendly and it's possible you will teach your children same way and those children may grow up not relating with their cousin's simply because you don't interact with their parents

Make sure your read the above post again and again and use it to guide yourself

Family is everything and no sensible one jokes their's

ExudeLoveToAll:
Is this a joke or what? I guess OP is serious, never heard of such a scenario prior to this moment.

It happens, some Even go to market and come back with things

Some fights others and change their positions

Juliusmomoh:
I don't even know the right section to post this..

I lost my uncle some days ago and we put him into the mortuary. Our plan to buried him by january...

What brought about thread is that the mortuary attendant called us to take our corpse on the ground that he fight with the other corpse there.

We went there early morning yesterday to comfirm ourselves. What our eye see mouth no fit talk... E shock us.

He fought other corpse there. He even hang some on the window Attendant don beat him tire, they will still wake up in the morning and see other corpse scatterd and only him enjoying the room.

We where told maybe he's a cultist or he's in some spritual stuff before he died..

They ask us to take him away but we don't want to bury him now due to some family issues. You know.

Please exprience nairalanders, what do you suggest to do now to him?

Inform your kins men about his wahala, they will approve for emergency burial and his funeral rites must wait until the family issues are resolved

Seeeker:
I created a thread a while ago that a company didn't accept my resignation. See initial thread

https://www.nairaland.com/6802980/company-didnt-accept-resignation

In that thread, I wrote about how I dropped resignation letter but the company kept mum until I left without making plans for handing over. I said that their 5k was left with me which they didn't say anything about and that my pension was never remitted. Now I don't care about the pension but I think they are trying to set me up.

Their 5k was initially left with me but they still sent the following month estacode to me, after I had left the company. I contacted the accountant that their 5k was left with me and they still sent a new month estacode of 10k to me. I asked him to provide the company's account number and I sent the money to the account which the company confirmed. They said nothing about pension but I don't care because I worked with them for just about 3 years.

After this, my phone was stolen and lost all contacts and details saved on my phone. Just two days ago, I checked my online accounts and email with someone's phone and I saw credit alert of November estacode from the company again. Now if I want to refund the money, what's in my account is no longer up to 10k because the account is on RED. I no longer live in that city and will need to connect with coworkers on Facebook to get accountant's phone number. I live from hand to mouth now and will need enough time to gather money to refund the money upon getting accountant's number.

This company may be trying to set me up... Should I report to the police before they will use same police to harass me? Should it be police PCRU or police in my current town?

Please, I will read replies later because it's not my phone I used to log in. Thanks!

Just send a mail to the accountant and remind him if the message you have sent to him earlier
That's just an evidence that you complained to him but he took no action

AmericanDad:
Hey guys, I just found out my colleague at work iv been sleeping with is pregnant. We were'nt dating tho we were just having fun together. We both came into the organization the same time and we earn very well like well above 500k per month. I'm 33 and she's 28. Shes having double mind about it and thinking of abortion but I told her No. Her reason is what will our colleagues say and how her family will react to her being pregnant out of wedlock.

The issue is she's from calabar and I'm from anambra. I'm the only son of my parents. Iv not told my folks yet but they definately would prefer me to marry an igbo girl. Also guys, we have started talking marriage plans but now that she's pregnant can the church wed us? or should I just do Traditional and court then after the baby is born I do white wedding Time is ticking oo.

Congratulations, its upto you to decide if both of you can make a happy home

Forget about what church will say, after all church still weds people who already have children and still want to wed

What you should be thinking is if your parents will accept her

As for your place of work, I don't know if they accept colleagues getting married

They may ask one of you to resign

ersonleads:
I'm presently working with a reputable company. I met a girl I really flow with. She's matured & understanding. She's in her 400level in school & I said within myself never to let her pass me by. We've come to a compromise that she should finish before I take her to the alter. Want to do so when She's 22yrs of age. I'm 11yrs older than her.

Please I need your Advice if I'm doing the right thing?

The most important thing is love, even if you are 20yrs older than her, once she has accepted your proposal, no problem

Like you said, you will wait for her to get to 22 yrs

Just make sure you don't disappoint her

Malory:
Na his money she still use buy the car. Congrats to him sha

Just look at the way you are reasoning

blackmamber:
Hello room. I bought this Boston terrier for 450k about 7 months ago.
Suddenly I started noticing discharge and blueish stuff in his eyes plus red too (only in his left eye )

I took him to the vet immediately and they gave him meds and injection but I noticed nothing changed

I have gone to different vet within this 2 weeks and they kept collecting my money and nothing is changing

Please if you’ve gone through this before I would love to know how you treated it. I don’t want my dog to go blind

In addition.
I called the seller and he said the same thing happened to his mom and it disappeared but he can’t really remember what he used because he used a lot of meds and applied alovera inside her eyes

Should I blame this guy for being a good person or I should blame the whites that doesn't appreciate the return

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Honestly you should be thankful to God for giving you a supportive parent in laws

If you are the type that is down to earth and humble, you will get more from them

But if you allowed your ego to decide for you, you will be walking on unbalanced platform

The way to it is, just respect yourself and share love with your wife

Always give her audience and plan with her

Take care of her the way you can and you will enjoy your marriage

As far as that marriage is concerned, your inlaw must make sure that you don't drop the standard he placed you people before your wedding guest

You already know that your wife family is rich so you don't need to compete with her or her family

Lastly, protect your wife before your family and always see your parents inlaw as your family

The best and what you will gain from the marriage is still ahead

Just be good

CrazyforJesus:
There was a day I mentioned it to him and he asked me if i want him to die

I'm thst case, follow his own strength, hesu be the type that have low Libido so you have to pleasure yourself whenever he can't do it

CrazyforJesus:
I created this new account to hide my identity and seek for mature advise here. I am married to a loving man that always try his best to please me. But the problem is I love sex so much, don't get me wrong please. I am not a nympho and I don't cheat on my husband.

He's a type of man that can't go more than 1 round in a day and honestly I always wish we can do it more than 5 rounds.

Even after doing it, i will still be feeling so Hot and i don't want to cheat on my husband. I have prayed several times for God to reduce my libido but the thing is just increasing everyday

You are just OK, just thst your sex hormones are at its peak

You u don't need to cheat, feed your husband well to to have the stamina to stand rounds of sex with you

While doing so, you can pleasure yourself and still be fine with it

Count yourself lucky, only few women are on your category, enjoy yourself while it last

The shortest method is to use condemn battery water

Use mopping stick and suck out the water in the bowl

Then pour the battery water into it after then use brush to wash it out

But be careful to avoid it touching your hands

irunoko:
it's make-up.if you see her without the make-up and Wigs,she actually looks her age (old)

Btw there are make-ups for older women that conceals wrinkles and a rough face and Wigs that cover grey hairs

Who ask you ?

Iyaebe:
Well deserved.Look at how the wife is taking care of him at old age,it's simply because he was good and kind to his wife, men please be good and kind to your wife if you wish and want to enjoy your old age.

They already knows that, but because they want to flex, they will neglect that aspect and expect their wives to understand and cooperate when they are old

Well it has to be give and take

temitope27:
are you telling me mosquito lives everywhere

Ask Malaria

Baamisere:
Help Me! I'm Fed Up

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years now and she has been a good woman through and through. I've met her parents and we're discussing on the next step. She has been supportive, responsible and caring despite our tribal difference.

However, the problem I'm having with her is that when she's angry she tends to use foul languages and curses on me which I don't like. She end up apologizing after the ranting but I'm tired of going over this. Please how can I deal with this attitude of hers?

I need honest contributions to this thread.

Since she has done that severally, it's obvious it was the way she was brought up with

So be prepared to live with it so far you want to marry her

But if you know that you will not marry her, simply let her go on time

Because if you promise and fail her, she may curse you the one that may come to reality

temitope27:
I don't live in a bush

That's a wrong impression

Unless your house doesn't have a door, as you go in, you are excorted in by mosquitoes

Omicron007:
I just wanted to do something that is not really a norm here. I could have gotten her other stuffs but I wanted to try something else.

Next time, deliver a ring to her through courier on her birthday, that will make more sense and keep her in suspense till you appear with a flower and put the ring on her

Omicron007:
Fellows,

A quick one
One of my friends celebrated her birthday recently.
I was lost in thoughts over what to buy for her.
So I surfed the internet and I saw a lot of suggestions.

I ended up getting a flower for her. I ordered the flower on an online flower shop and it was delivered to me.

On her birthday, I took the flower and went to her place. I presented it to her during the little birthday bash she organised.

To my utmost surprise, she and her friends looked at me with contempt. She was not happy I got the flower. It was glaring on her face.

---

I have seen a lot of movies where flowers are presented to girls and they are very happy.

Why is it that some Nigerian girls don't value the gift of flowers?

I spent NGN 7,500 to get the flower!

The flower is to remember you or what.?

Of what value is that flower when she would have preferred a dress or shoes

So if you give her flowers, you believe that you have given her a gift

Why not take her to a place she has never been before
Anyway girls don't need flowers

If you don't know what next to give her, come empty hand, it will be better

Karlifate:
GBAM!

He knows naw but he is dodging that part

Fredamanda:
Please guys ignore the grammar, I need urgent advice because I am dying slowly towards my wife altitude.

I am a young guy working from home and I try all my best to make my wife happy always but there is one attitude in her which I am not comfortable with and I don't know how else to explain to her after I have tried so much for her to start up something.

She is a graduate with good result but she does not want to do anything rather she prefers staying at home maybe because I am working from home. My problem now is that she is pregnant and she got admission for her masters in one of the Eastern Universities while we live in lagos which she does not want to go and owning to the fact that she is not doing anything in the house and she is not working, I really want her to go for that masters and is causing big issues between two of us.

Please kindly advice me on what to do.

Who will sponsor accommodation, feeding, schooling and transportation for her studys

How come she doesn't want to do anything, I mean is she lazy or your gave her all age needs just to seat at home just like that

Well, she will definitely use this pregnancy as excuses for being lazy, allow her to put to bed, even if you report her to her family, they will reason with her that she is pregnant

But you have to adopt a system that will work for you in this marriage else, the task and burden will be on you as more children will soon join the family

Don't just give her all the financial attention she needs

Ewroghene1:
Good day NLs
I will go straight to the point
First born in the family with big responsibility you know already,. Mother always demanding due to the status of the family, currently 25yrs.
Occupation : Barber

Your advice shall help a long way...
Have been saving but not complete, planning ahead

But my dreams are high and know I will accomplish them...
stopped schooling 2015, with S.S.C.E started hustling.....

First: should I open a barbershop with my little savings
Or
Second: go abroad and continue my school and become a graduate. And explore other lifestyles
I know opening the shop will help a long way(money)
And going abroad will also help

Reminder : I have mother and siblings to take care of with the little I can support
Please I need You advice
And can I work with the experience I have as a barber here in Nigeria to places like Turkey or Poland

Please help forward to Frontpage

No matter the responsibilities in your family, you have to plan especially for yourself without your siblings demands weighing you down

Going to abroad is good, only if you will be lucky to get a genuine visa and someone to accommodate you

As for your siblings, after secondary school, let then get something doing and save towards their own education

If you trained then to university you may not be able to train yourself to university and one day you will realise that you are not a graduate

So establish yourself, get educated and help them get educated too

Prosmobi:
na those land wey community dey share give each family but my don sell their own finish.

I under now, it's time to report to the kins men of your community
They must have a leader and make sure you go with your mother, both of you have to talk to them

thatsleepboy1:
Political strategy and come to think of it, it might be the constant nagging and insults from the woman that pushed this man to this but she won't talk

https://www.nairaland.com/6843958/islam-full-fables-not-g-d#107556223

Is it the same nagging that made them to live in a plastered mud house

The same nagging made her to birth all those children

Just accept that the man failed himself even before getting married to her

Prosmobi:
Goodevening NairaLanders. Please, which law enforcement agency can i report my uncles to... They have been trespassing on my father's land even when the case is in court.

Are your kins men not aware if yes, what has the villagers done about it

Is it land in the village which your Dad inherited or the ones he bought with his money

Does it meanthat the said land doesn't have documents to back you guys up

Bitecoin:
A career woman is always under constant pressure, not a house wife, worse she can decide not to allow the kids go to school for a whole day n it doesn’t affect them. A career lady can’t plus the constant fear of her being laid off work is there.

You sound like a bachelor, wait till you get married

1sherlockHolmes:
I'm a corp member passing out this coming december, during the previous month I have managed to raised 180k from my alawee.

Last month october I discovered bet9ja online betting through my friend, and decided to give it a try at first I was winning, I was happy that I discovered a way to earn extra income, I ignored all the warnings that I saw online about betting. Gradually I started losing, sometimes my games enter and sometimes cut but i refused to stop.

To cut it short guys I'm now pennyless, my 180k turn 0k in just a month and next month I'm heading to my village empty handed. Its been so long since I cry but today i did.

You will have sense bye force

kamtamark:
Please pardon my English. Is one years now that my sister introduced a boy to me as her boyfriend, since then I have gone to their place several times to separate fight and it seems it is getting worst but they don't want to end the relationship.

I warned my sister never to near the boy. To my surprise I will see the two of them again and my sister will say everything is now ok.

Please what legal action can I take to separate the two of them?

The two of them are adults

You have no right or any legal power on her because you don't know how far they have gone besides, she will always tell you that, every thing is OK

Simply inform your family if what you have observed in them and they should advice her to withdraw from the relationship

If she insist, leave her in the relationship

Is either she enjoys the relationship or she regrets the relationship

There are some certain decisions or advise you give to people base in the danger you have seen in the relationship

But experience is the best teacher

dopedan:
Just saw my cgpa and I landed in 2.2 and my dad already told me not to bring bad result home I guess 2,2 is not so good and my dad is not someone that is understanding so how do i tell him?

Just give him the result to see