₦airaland Forum

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do

I don't understand why you can't seat your wife down and discuss exactly all you just typed now

Are you afraid of hurting her, if yes, then you have jailed yourself

Seat her down and let her know that you are tired and fed up with her family frequent visits and need them to give you a break

Right in her presence there, call her parents ask her dad yo put the call on speaker so that your mother inlaw could hear you

Tell them how difficult things have been and you will appreciate his children giving your family a break from their frequent visits so that you can reorganize your home and self because of the hardship in town

If you don't handle this issue with strong head, you will use that same head to carry inherited problems and will end up not helping your own family
Use your head unless you took their daughter away without performing all the expected rights

Betty1000:
Good day Nairalanders,

My fiance proposed to me three months ago. Before that, we were in a relationship for six months. Everything seemed perfect, he has been good to me and I never had any reason to doubt him.

Last week, a friend of mine told me that she heard my fiance has a son and she already verified this information before telling me. At first, I was hesitant until she showed me pictures of the boy, he looks exactly like my fiance. So I decided to go deeper and found out that my fiance is indeed the father of the child.

I confronted him and he accepted that the son is his but he has no relationship with the mother anymore and he planned to tell me before the wedding.

I'm heartbroken because before I agreed to date him, I asked him if he has been married in the past or has children, he said no.

I don't trust him anymore. I feel like I have been deceived because not even his family members told me, I am close to his sister but she never opened up to me.

We have everything planned, in fact, we have our wedding card sent out to everybody. The wedding is in July.

He has sent his friends and family to beg but I don't trust him anymore.

My family has assured me that any decision I make, they would support it.

How do I call off this wedding without going through the embarrassment?

I'm so confused.

See my sister, men lies by nature and defaults, they do so to save their head in some situations depending on the circumstances

Having a child before meeting you is not enough reason for you to end the marriage plans

Some men still have children or a child while even in a current marriage

So forgive him and accept his apology and continue your relationship with him

There is more lies to come and it can't be worst than the first lie

Good luck to your marriage

podium:
When my wife put to birth, I will come back to tell my story.... I mean my story... Dnt always be quick to judge or condemn..... One more thing, always tank God for who you are...

The lord is your strength and knows your heart desires which he will grant for you

Rozcol:
Please help my friend suggest very good flimsy escuses to dump her hardcore stingy but very good boyfriend.

He's very good on all other aspects but his stinginess is beyond human comprehension and my friend don't want to appear as been materialistic.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was when she demanded if he could get her pads and some few stuff on his way to her place and when he eventually bought and brought the items to her, he calculated everything he bought and was waiting to be paid which she eventually did and imagine he got the nerves to collect the money from my friend (Just some few thousands), he's very rich so brokenness is out of it.

We've exhausted all the escuses we thought would work out to dump him but he somehow have ways around them (very annoying) and my friend wants to be diplomatic. Please your suggestions are highly welcomed. Thanks

He wasn't diplomatic when he was collecting his money from her for the items she requested for

So why should she be diplomatic to tell him that she has had enough of the relationship

TarOrfeeek:
Them still cheat you.

Because that Yam you paid 1,150 for one.


That's way too much.

Lagos has same size at N1,000 so what's the point.

We have different species of yam and all the yams yu have come across have different tastes

Benue and Abuja yam remains the best with Anambra yarn

UDOKABESTLUV:
Update From . COM

Two lovers have been apprehended for allegedly stealing a sheep in Nneogodi village, in Agulu, Anaocha Local Government Area of Anambra State, Reports.

From The Information Gathered By , The suspects, Chinedu Umeh from Nanka, Orumba North LGA and his girlfriend, Ogechukwu Samson from Ndiowu, were caught by Nneogidi security men with the help of ?z? Ekwueme N' Agulu on Thursday, June 10.

During interrogation, the couple confessed that they steal people's livestock anytime they are in need of money and sell them to one Mrs Chinwe from Ekwulobia, who lives at Awka-Etiti, Learnt.

It was gathered By , that angry youths of Nneogidi almost set the suspects ablaze but they were rescued by ?z? Ekwueme N' Agulu.

See Photos And Video As Obtained By Below:

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CP_CJlEAjKi/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading

Source: BLOG

Mere looking at both of them, you will know that they are liabilities to the families they came from

ijustdey:
https://www.sunnewsonline.com/imo-man-hangs-self-after-incest-with-daughter/

Good for him and rot in hell

baralatie:
The op has to go back to school to complete education vo

She ought to understand this part

Neverwill:
I met a man here on nairaland that nearly or should I say took advantage of me and made me nearly commit an abomination which I nearly did. I wanted to keep this to my self till he sent me a message this last night again

I would keep this brief and I hope I find closure with this as I have been so sad since Wednesday and I couldn't sleep

I had to create a New moniker to post this because this is shameful

I'm 29 and a very handsome man. I have a young family with a beautiful wife that I don't even think I deserve because she is an Angel and I have 2 beautiful girls that means everything to me.

I lost my Job during the pandemic last year and it has been hard getting another Job and it's even harder watching my kids starve and my beautiful wife cry at night

I know my responsibility as a man and top most is me providing for my girl's and their Mom.

My wife have been shouldering the feeding responsibility at home since March because after i paid my girls school fee in February my account became empty

Even though my wife does everything she has never been rude to me or shown me the normal "Nigerian" women attitude

She has never denied me sex or spoke to me rudely since August of last year. She meets men, richer men that wants a relationship with her but this lovely woman tells me all, she even gives me her phone to chat with them

In all of this I kept on looking for a job because I feel like I'm failing my girls

On Monday I was in a thread here on nairaland and I made a post that I needed a job so badly and I got an email from here and I replied the email and I and the person started talking and he invited me to his office in the island

I was excited, baby was excited and the girl's were excited as well and I got to his office the next day which was on Tuesday and I submitted my CV to him and he went through it and was impressed and we spoke even more and he said something to me 'what can you do to get this job' and I said anything because I need to start providing for my wife and the girl's as I was feeling the pressure from home and he said something again. 'You are very handsome and I would want us to be closer and if you agree to this you would get even more than a job

Then he told me his office would get back to me and he gave me #15k as transportation and while I was heading home he texted me and said if I'm free tomorrow he would like to see me

My mind told me something was off , I knew but I just couldn't imagine or believe something of that nature could happen to me, I replied his text and told him I would be free and he told me he would get back to me and Wednesday morning he sent me a text that we should meet in one of the biggest hotels in lekki

I asked him why an hotel and he said he has an appointment with a client and he would want me to see the client with him so he accesses my ability In convincing a client to partner with us

Then I got to the hotel by 10am and I called him I was there and he invited me to his room and when I got in it seemed odd

There were 2 glass and a bottle of wine and we started talking and we spoke a lot while we drank and I actually felt comfortable around him and we started talking family and he told me his wife and kids are in America

Then when it got to my turn I told him about Nike and my girls and I got very emotional and started shedding some tears because I'm failing my family even tho it's not my fault, even though I look for job everywhere and every day both on jobberman and LinkedIn and Twitter and Facebook

Then he told me how much I want the job and I said so badly and he said what can I do to get the job I said anything and he said what can I do to get a job of #150k per month gosh that broke me and I said anything at all and right there he called his personal assistant to draft an employment letter in my name and add a salary of #150k

We continued talking and he told me how much I had left in my account I told him just 3k because I gave wifey the rest of the money he gave to me to prepare something for the kids

Some few minutes later he brought out a bundle of cash and told me it's mine and the employment letter in his email which he showed me if only he has sex with me

Hmmmm

I was stunned and astonished and didn't no what to do

I needed a job so badly, my kids needed the money so badly, Nikky has carried the family enough and I needed to do something and there was an opportunity

If it was you what would you do?

I have never thought I would be in such a situation in all my life but I asked him if it would be painful and he Said no

I'm so sorry for even considering it

Then he showed me a video of how easy it would be

Hmmmm

May God forgive me

I agreed guys

I agreed I'm so sorry babe

I agreed because I have been so broken and empty emotionally and mentally

He told me to pull of my dress and I did and he did as well and I don't know what he rubbed in my ass , maybe a cream he said for easy penetration

Then he kissed me and I kissed him back and in all of this I was just mute, confused, not knowing what to do

I knew I hated what I was doing but I needed a job for my girl's and wifey

Then he told me to give him a Mouth Gig and immediately I held his penis in my hands I remembered how Nike would always say no to other men And the Love we shared and I came back to my senses

And I respectfully told him I can't and he was angry and DISAPPOINTED as I could tell from his look but he told me to leave and I asked him about the job and he told me he would get back to me

I left and immediately went to the church to pray and when I got home babe asked me about it and I said I didn't get the job and at night she wanted us to make Love but I felt too dirty to do that

yesterday morning she wanted to kiss me I felt too dirty to do that also

My kids noticed I was different and asked what's wrong and I told them daddy was sick

I'm confused, I don't know if I should tell her and I don't know how she would feel or if she would even forgive me

My kid's are on midterm and I should take them out today but no money, I can't remember when last we had a family time together in an eatry

I feel so sad right now

I feel so broken right now

God forgive me

Please let's not take advantage of people in their down moment. I nearly fell for this and would have regretted it forever

God help me

Good morning

All the sacrifice you made was for their own goodness nit because you are doing it for the fun of it

Tell her everything and she will understand

loteliz:
This is the only person that actually read the post so far. OP is indeed hurting himself.

You are absolutely right

Kingcalls:
U women watch out if a man has enough money to take care of himself and raise a family... what happens to a man that wasted his money on u women...who will marry him ??

There is no money a man spent on a woman that is a waste

Kingcalls:
Akuko.... if u ladies think that is what will b used to forget ur past, u are indeed on a loooooong thing....

When a man is loosing, the woman looses too

DissTroy:
Not everyone wants to be with a woman who has a very promiscuous past, or didn't respect the institution of marriage enough not to date married men. A woman who doesn't respect it enough to draw that line has no qualms cheating when married.

Most of the married woman cheating slept with married men as singles. The have a warped way of justifying the adultery.

Stop gaslighting men into accepting and dating/marrying damaged women. You wouldn't be with a damaged man yourself if you have better options.

Every one has a past

Kingcalls:
Most of u women still don't get it...u all complain that men treat women like trash...this is the reason y... a woman's past determines how men will treat them... all men are the same in this aspect... if u have 4kd a married man in the past or hv had multiple partners in the past, just forget it, no man, I repeat, no man will treat u special...they might pretend , but in their hearts , u are not worth it, to them u are just a vessel for their kids...all men take a woman's past extremely serious... so u women can keep on decieving urselves calling it " in the past" " do not judge " " its the woke generation " .....

So if all men takes a woman's past seriously, women should take men's past joking

Pricyy:
Good morning everyone.
I don't know if this is the right section to post this, but I'll appreciate your opinion.
I'm currently running my industrial training in an organization. so yesterday, my boss and his colleague were talking about employing an office assistant to run errands in the office, I suggested that he employs me to fill the position ( I run most of the errands anyway), but he declined stating that my internship is a paid one( which he didn't mention at the beginning, he said it's at the end of my internship he'll pay me.I've been there for two months now) I felt bad afterwards.
I regret asking him to employ me to fill that position...

You are on internship, meaning that you will be going soon, he needs someone that will be there all the time

So just leave him to decide whatever he wishes
If after the internship, you wish to remain there, then you can come back for employment

Ogamysamo:
thou am from a monogamy family and knows nothing about the polygamious ones. am aware of it's existence.

so those from the polygamy families share your experience.

You will get the full gist and experience if you go into polygamy

Experience remains the best teacher

podium:
Good afternoon all, and Happy First Sunday of the Month.. My wife will put to birth next month... Things are so hard and with us at the moment.. the only thing we have bought is baby bath and nothing more. please if you have anything your baby use before and you are willing to give out, we will gladly accept them.... my location is uyo... Thank you and God bless

Does it mean that other guys contributed sperm to pregnant your wife and now is time to deliver, the same contribution need to be made

Who did this to you ⁉️

kenoyad:
I learned wifey had slept with a guy that's married and far older than her, I got the impression when we met and started dating and asked her if there was anything between them, she denied. I got to know from her after three years and she was not even remorseful, claiming she had dated him before we met and that's her choice cause she can date Whoever she want at the time cause she's single. I always felt bad cause I got suspicious and asked her about it. I always think about it every day and it makes me feel so bad. Her mother had apologised on her behalf that I should please get it over my mind and count it as when she don't know what she was doing. We have got a kid and i don't want the kid raised outside a home though we were both not married officially. I want to get the ordeal out of my mind cause that's the only issue i have with her. How can I get it over my mind? I think about it every day.

You are the one hurting yourself not her

Some thing she did long ago before meeting you and you are still casting back over it

How are you sure she doesn't have any secret lover especially now that you have not married her

Every one has a past just move on

If you are not convinced of her, then let her go dont marry her

Sebastine1994:
My eyes are bloodshot because I have not slept fine ever since this new neighbor moved into our compound.

She moans loud during sex. she would scream as if she was been raped, it's like listening to pornography on loudspeaker. it seems she is a relationship to oga landlord because he is her regular customer.

landlord would not do anything even after we complain bitterly. this girl weak me. I don't care about her sexual partners but for her to control herself during sex.

I don't know if I should call her and talk to her or anything else. I may decide to take law into my hands if she does not comply oh. I would turn the speakers of my home theater to her room for that kind of special occasion. I would treat her in a language she would understand.

it's affecting me psychologically, sleep apnea has followed coupled with fatigue, I always think of sex more these days than doing something productive. what should I do


Fear women that live alone, they are super humans.

lalasticlala mynd44 seun Dominique

Just politely tell her that anytime she is having sex with a man, she moans so much and every one hears her voice and you will appreciate if she reduces her voice or better still silent it

Am sure she will understand and after that, just be nice to her so that she won't feel bad

Ninobraw:
Good day everyone no need for a long story. A friend seriously need your advice.
If you have to advise someone, between learning tiling (tiles work) and Barbing (cut hair)
which will you have advise the person to learn.
please you have to also state your reason just help out.
Please I am begging you to also advise like a brother please.
The guy is 28yrs old, he gat 500k already from his bro in Canada, but confused in the one to learn. He is a married man with 1 kid.

Tilling is professional, so he has to learn it and learn it properly

Barbing is something that you can learn within three months and set up a shop

With the above two, he has the chance to be busy with Barbing any time he has no Tilling to do

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

You are yet to look deep into it despite the fact that you saw the whole pictures clearly

I think you have to put things on hold until after the birth of your child to know if is will worth it

A lazy woman gives a man the challenge of doing his own Jun at him and the woman's Job at home

Worst case is a lazy man

Sex is nit the only thing that us needed in marriage but support is the highest of them all

SmellySperm:
Just for broke guys abeg. With money guys have nun to worry about babes

For how long?

Emperor5:
Akwa ibom is really making use of their oil money, even enugu state is doing better with red oil than bayesa state.

That Bayelsa is like a state with out vision

All they know is to flex no plans @ all

Marriage doesn't determine happiness, if you are not married you move on

After all marriage is not for everyone

SmellySperm:
I guess you're asking the ladies coz guys don't have issue with that. Ndi baby mama

Who told you guys don't have issues with that

Who wants to raise children at late age

donogaga:
When single ladies choose to cohabit with men, yielding to free sexual servicing, domestic chores and the likes, what exactly goes through their minds?

This is love?
This will make him marry me?
I am married and this is my duty?
This is what it takes to hold a man?

Which?

More importantly, why is it difficult for women to see this at this point.
Chances are many are reading this now telling themselves "no, this is not me. My own case is different. We are in love."

Okay then. Love.

What is love? What to you is love?

We cannot understand, you think.

Welcome to the journeys that led to the pregnancies that led to undesired marriages that became toxic and ended up in very hurtful divorces having one person bearing almost all the physical, financial and social cost of it as a single parent.

Welcome to the realities many of us currently live but then, maybe we don't understand.

If he truly loves you, he'd do the needful and marry you right. Don't be mistaken. When the right one comes along, he'd do away with all the excuses he's giving you and marry her. Unfortunately, many learnt this lesson the hard way.

The choice is yours.



https://www.facebook.com/100047151253398/posts/322131562701883/

If only you are a woman, you will understand how and why it is like that

For the men, if it was easy for them, they will do the marriage before accepting such women, but they also know that if anything happens to her, he marries her corpse

Badlyconfused:
Hello Nairalander,
A brother is absolutely confused for the past few days now.
Please forgive my grammar because I'm not in the right frame of mind.

My Fiancée is 3 weeks pregnant and since then, she has never been herself.

We planned getting married by next year January after I'd met with her parent and they agreed to the wedding plan.

The major problem is that she is a well-known person, and getting pregnant out of wedding luck is not what it's expected of her. I'm 35 and she is 27.

We both love each so much, there is nothing I can't give to her, same goes to her. In fact, she is perfect for me.
Left to me a lone, I'd prefer she keeps the pregnancy since I'm not longer a kid and she not either. But the trauma is changing her to the opposite of herself; she is losing it.

Instead of seeing her going through the trauma, I'd rather agreed with her to terminate the pregnancy. I can't afford to continue seeing her going through this.

I've agreed with her to abort it.
Here is the issue:

None of us has done this (abortion) before, and we don't know the right hospital to go to.
Abortion is still illegal in Nigeria even though some hospitals are still doing.

As Nairalanders would say, "what do you want us to do now?"

I'd like to know which hospital to visit.
Is it all hospitals that do it? If know, how do I know which hospital will be willing to help us out?

Please help a Nairalander out.

I know some people would say that why did we have unprotected sex when we're not ready for a baby. Well, it's a stupid thing I did and I take full responsibility for it.

Shit happens and I'm experiencing one.

If you decide to bash me for my foolishness, I'll gladly take it because I deserve it.

So because of what people will say, you want to terminate the blessings of God lined up for you guys

Just tsje note, if she looses her womb in the process, you will never father a child through her and she will make sure you don't get a child from another woman

After wedding, don't come here to tell us how you guys have been waiting on the lord for pregnancy, because you chased it away when it came

zedegit:
Some of my observations on some married women have made me realize that no matter how religious or innocent your wife looks, never ever, I repeat never ever vouch for her faithfulness or loyalty to you.

My cousin's wife is cheating on him. I eavesdropped and somehow managed to get her phone calls to a man and how she was dying like a teenager on heat.

You have just concluded from hearing her conversation with another man

Have you cared to find out if is is well attended to by your cousin

Women are very fragile and needs love and attention, anything short of these is gambling

uthlaw:
oya na...give am lecture you well!

Experience is the best teacher

uthlaw:
since woman never do am something,make he do women something!

Lol, leave am, him just dey learn

cridbak:
Lol

You must have been tickled after reading this