Delightsolo1: Why do Africa tradition only affect the women? I have think about this for many times, before I saw this video,I was very happy about what this man say, I believe if all Africa can apply this method it will be very good mostly in Nigeria,is it good for men to die first before there wife # https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrJFFhmmDqg
In the olden days, men makes traditional rules to affect women because they want to clip their wings and make them submissive
Even God that creates men and women, did not gave women strict rules that men are not part of
DSTheGreat: my mum left my dad some years ago due to infidelity, without divorcing him, she went ahead to have an affair with someone else, though my dad neglected his kids for some years, he is seeking to see those kids and my mum is hiding them from him, what do I do?, I'm sick and tired of it all
Pls let that not bother you, face your future let your dad face the problem that made him to separate from his wife
If he had known that he will need to see the children, he will not neglect them and his wife will not move on
LewisHamilton15: My parents travelled to Ghana so they discussed with my aunty that i will be living with her for the duration of the time they will spend in Ghana..she accepted and i moved.
Anytime i return from school my aunty would begin to insinuate. My aunty expects me to be doing dishes, sweeping and mopping. That wasn't my problem but any time i work she would outrightly condemn me and say i am lazy and useless.
I reported the case to her husband and he talked to her but because of that, she sent me packing but husband is against. I'm thinking of managing with a friend.
I think you have to reconcile with your aunt especially if you know that there are other place for you to stay and eat free food and stay in a free house
But if you have options, just quietly pack out and never come back
Adun27: Our relationship is 8yrs now, we dated for 6 years before she officially leaving with me I am not legally married to her right now because of personal reasons. She had cheated on me in 2019( that's the only one I know ), I didn't take it too serious we are both in the University but different schools, that shit happens in school. The main issue is this.. " lately a male colleague has been calling her, I told her 3 weeks ago that I don't like it and whatever he wants to tell her can wait for the next working day, she flare up that night and left the sitting room , normally we go to bed together any time I get done working, she went to bed that night with that anger, I never raised a fight with her. She roses early the next day and bath, bath our only son too, she left for work very early, she had never gone to work that time before, she got to work and in some hours I receive some messages on Whatsapp , he's apologizing that he calling my wife, I never replied him ( She claimed that the guy noticed her face and came to ask thats why she told him, meanwhile I never even fought her, their office are next to each other as she claimed) Now after my woman and the guy knows that, some days ago the guy called my woman just to ask why she didn't come to work, he asked how her husband is doing too and that was the conversation I could here because she put it on loud speaker. After that I checked my woman's phone when she didn't know, I found out that the Guy is still calling her , I also saw that my woman still calling him too though not everyday, I asked her why she had ridiculed me so much , after going to report me to the guy about this calling, you are calling him and he is still calling you, don't you and the guy knows that it's dangerous for your relationship? , She flared up again I have had sex with my woman only 7 times in 3 months, she keeps saying she doesn't want to get pregnant soon and I should go buy condom , we haven't been using condom since we started 8 years ago( she got pregnant recently and we had to abort it because our son is only 11 months) She does how's chores perfectly and also support me financially only when I don't have, I'm the Man of my house." What's happening here ? Please only married people
Assuming you mention the personal reasons why you guys haven't been married, that will help to handle this issue, but you kept it personal to yourself
I think she may be seeing the other guy and they communicate steady
She knows that you have some reservations about marrying her so as far as she is concerned, she is not married to you and she is free to relate with men
Dont be surprise when she lives you finally for another man
Meanwhile, you both must have had an issue you guys have not really handled properly
That issue have affected your marriage and love life
What exactly is the problem between both of you
If you don't want to tell us Then seat her down and sort it out
Your marriage/ friendship is no longer smooth, it's already on a rough road
If you love her deeply settle both if you
If you don't love her deeply, this is the right time to go separate ways Instead of you passing through the pains of knowing that your wife is seeing another man
They may not be dating ohhh, but it may click anytime soon
nokia1000: I am fully regretting marrying my wife. She is always right and doesn't take corrections. She doesn't have sex drive. Prefer sleeping alone that she doesn't want someone body to touch her. She is not serious in anything that can generate money. I have made a lifetime mistake. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide to get free from regretting. I am seeing myself going down slowly.
Let her go and end the marriage instead of dying for nothing
daboy18: I asked him what will he do if I marry a woman he doesn't like . He said he doesn't have a problem with that but my mum will have a problem with it. I asked him why, he said If he doesn't like the woman and I love her . I can go ahead and marry her because my happiness matter he will accept her but if my mum doesn't like her and I marry her against her wish. I will not enjoy the marriage my wife will suffer the consequences. He gave me an example of my mum and his mum he said do you know why your mum and grandmother have the greatest bond I said no he said it is because my mother was his mother favourite from the beginning that's why my grandmother is free to come over and stay in the house as long as she want and there will no be no fight between them. But if she didn't like her from the beginning he don't think he would have married her because he didn't want her to suffer. He told me again if you marry a girl that your mother doesn't like she will become her worst enemy and she will never visit your house and your wife will have no peace knowing that her mother in law hates her so much. Your children will never bond with their grandmother. I ask him when I'm ready for marriage should I ask her to find me a woman of her choice so they will be no problem. He said she or he doesn't have the right to choose a wife for me they can only direct me with the type of woman i should marry so I will not marry the wrong one. He said if I ever find one I should consider my mum decision first not his . Is my dad right or wrong? Sorry I don't know how to explain this better I hope you will understand me better and give me good advice ?
Your dad is right to an extent because marriage is about women
You need your mum approval to just have a good family bound with your wife and your siblings
They don't have to choose for you, but you bring your girl home leave her with your mum to access her for you
What you didn't see in her attitude in one year, your mum will discover it in less than 24hrs
A good and well behaved wife gives her husband absolute peace
Couragejay: Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice
You have not given enough details on how your family settings are
Yes you are the only son but not the only child
If you want to further your education, you have to fill your jamb form and pick a state where your mum stays and make sure you get the admission so that she can see you often
From there it will dawn on her that you are in school
Gradually she will relax but she will never remove her eyes from you
When is time to go for service, she too will understand that it's a national call
So far you have assured her that you will be a good boy and keep on checking on her especially on videos that will calm her down
If you finally made up your mind to travel out, marry and have children so that she will be busy with your children and she will have less worries about you
But her mind is still with you
Dont blame her pls
The most important thing you need from her is prayers not fear, she has to understand that
Greattestman: This issue has been eating me up for so long and i don't know what to do. My mother began pressurizing me to rent my own house and leave her alone.
It was unprecedented and i don't expect that from her. I'm barely 20 and I teach in a private school. I also do home lessons so my monthly income ranges from 25k to 30k or thereabout.
This money will not be enough for me to rent a house, buy my food and take care of myself. I have tried to explain but she refused to understand with me. She told her friends to advice me to leave; that I'm matured enough to live alone.
I'm pressed and I need your advice.
I think your behavior must have prompted that
Where is your dad, is he separated from your mum, if yes then your mum needs freedom to entertain visitors
So brace up, get a room and start your life there
If you are lucky you will get a woman that will give you her love and you guys will plan properly
If you are not financially able to afford, ask her to get money for you to rent house Buy bed and pots for cooking
Messi1: I've always visited this my uncle at least four times a week. That is where I pass away time. His children all like me and any day I fail to come they must ask me why didn't come. I use the time i spend in his house to teach his children Mathematics and do their home work for them.
Today I was in his house, he stormed out from his room and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He yelled at me and what pain me most is that he said food is costly and they are only managing. He made me feel like i was the one finishing the food in his house. He said I should not be too frequent in his house if at all I must come.
I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?
Be calm with him
You go there too often so your visit is too close for comfort
When you come around they server you food, so its an extra budget
To them you are coming for their favour
You have to reduce your visit totally
I am glad he told you how he feel, rather than bringing up issues that will lead to quarrels
9jayes: Marriage only favors the women reason why they don’t like rivals, immediately you marry the second wife like this you will see productivity in both of them.
.
Marriage favours men, once they marry you, they don't want to see another man near their wives
Prospertochu: Thank you ma I am trying to stay calm but I am concern about my daughter safety , her mother had been to Lagos for 3 months I don't think she even has her own apartment or a job that she will be able to provide for the girl. Also I don't know who she is living with and the risk of her being sexually abused is high. I just hope she is safe and nothing will happen to her
Mokwugwo1975: Anambra Businessman Celebrates Wife For Bagging PhD
From Mokwugwo Solomon, Awka
Sunday, November 13, 2022, will remain memorable in the annals of the family of Sir Chris Emere, who celebrated his wife, Dr. (Lady) Oge Emere, who recently bagged doctorate degree in Educational Management and Planning from the Imo State University, Owerri.
Family members, friends, well-wishers, and people from all walks of life turned out in their numbers to grace the epoch- making occasion, which took place at the Fitness Club Event Center, 3-3 district, Onitsha.
Sir Emere, from Eziagu in Orumba South LGA of Anambra State, said that he was motivated to train his wife, Oge, because, when he married her, she told him that she would like to acquire higher education - a request he said he accepted with open heart.
He said, "This feat is something to celebrate; because, it is a milestone achievement and a dream come true.
"When I married her, I sent her back to school. She finished up her secondary education; she went further and earned her NCE. Then, she went for her first degree. Later, she went for her Master's degree, before she started her doctorate degree at the Imo State University, and today, she has her PhD in Educational Management and Planning.
"I am celebrating her, because, I am happy with her. She designed what she wanted, and she achieved it."
The reputable businessman said that he decided to invest in the education of his wife because of the need to have an educated wife in his household; as well as the need to meet up with the demands of the time.
He thanked God for making his family's dream come through; adding that his most challenging period in the journey was when his wife had to shuttle from Onitsha to Owerri three times every week in the course of her doctorate programme, amid insecurity in the land.
The chief celebrant, Dr. (Lady) Oge Emere, said she pursued her education to a very high level because she loved everything about education.
She said combining education with family life was challenging because of long period of time she invested between the time she got her ordinary level certificate, and the time she obtained her PhD; in addition to the enormous works of taking care of her husband and her children.
"The period of greatest concern was when I had to take care of my children, while also doing my own schooling. In the morning, I had to think of what they will eat; then, take them to school; bring them back, and so one.
"I was also faced with the challenge of having to leave my family, and also face the uncertainties when I had to travel from Onitsha to Owerri as much as three times every week, in the midst of insecurity. It was not ease; but all these are reasons why we are celebrating to the glory of God.
"Every successful woman has a story to tell. Any housewife can attain any height in any chosen career provided she is industrious, hardworking and committed to the course," she added.
She praised her husband, Sir Chris Emere, who she said, has a heart of gold, and did not blink an eye in providing all that was needed in the pursuit of her education.
Highpoints of the ceremony was when Dr (Mrs) Oge Emere and her husband, Sir Chris Emere cut the celebration cake, and took to the dance floor to entertain guests.
This is a man that have sense, he was not intimidated by his wife educational career that was why he trained her from scratch to top and got her PhD Keeping her as a house wife is another financial challenge
I am sure some of us have encountered this issue with some neighbours. Unfortunately I doubt if Nigeria has any law against this or maybe am not aware.
This particular neighbour changes generator set at least 2x yearly(no be JuJu be that?) with nothing other than watching movies and putting on his ACs. We no dey fit hear word for compound again expecially my family being the immediate next door neighbor.
Recently their generator is faulty and it seems they don't have money yet for replacement and they have hastily gone to rent a very deafening old gen. The type we hire to pump water. They have been using that for straight 3 days now. It's very difficult to sleep with that noise. If I vex question the man now, they will say it's because we don't have money to constantly fuel our own. What can we do?
You need to talk to him in a gentleman and polite way
Prospertochu: Her number is switched off, I don't know if you can still remember my old thread when she was starving my mother you have given me very good advice which I am grateful
Thanks dear for appreciating my first advice
Just be calm, She won't hurt her daughter, but I think she wants to be with one of her children
But if she was smart enough, she would have allowed you keep those children and be visiting them till you guys can sort things out
She may have switched off her number to just keep dealing with you
Be calm and relax till you get her on phone
This kind of matter have to be resolved amicably
If you take the matter any where, they may end up giving her the sole custody of the children then you will be visiting her to see the children
You see women, You can't know what is in that one's mind until she hatches it
Take it calm and I pray she doesn't come back to take the rest children
Obavoh: Yesterday my Wife, her aunt and my kids went to pick up my mother in law at the bus park.
When we got there, we met her happily talking with a young man. She introduced the man to me as my wife’s childhood friend. Which my wife confirmed.
As I was about to call tuke tuke to carry her loads and take us home, the man offered to give us a ride in his car.
When my mother in law saw his car she started jumping happily and congratulated him. She asked me to snap her with the car.
She took the baby from my wife’s back and asked my wife to sit at the front so she will catch up with her old friend.
My mother Inlaw and her sister sat at the back with my 4kids while I loaded her luggage in the boot of the car.
I told my 2 sons to get down from the car so I can enter and lap them but to my surprise my mother in law said the load will be too much for the car and I should take the tuke tuke home alone.
I felt shocked and embarrassed.
I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t go home straight. I took the tuke tuke to my farm and cried there.
My mother in law has always been a nice woman and is always encouraging me. Am I the one misunderstanding her? Should I tell her how I felt or I should keep quiet and try to forget about it?
I don't think she mean to hurt you
I think you should be calm don't say anything yet
Watch her behavior all through her stay
If she disrespect you in any way, give it to her on the spot and move on
Let her deal with it till you get back
If she does another nonsense, give her the remaining part two and ask her to leave
But if she conducts herself properly, just ignore the first one
Prospertochu: She should have asked for my permission she shouldn't have taken her away from me without my consent , plus she is only been to Lagos since August she doesn't have any relatives there i don't know where or who she is staying with and if she is working who will be taking care of my child. She is only 3 years old she is at risk of being molest in Lagos than in the village
You need to call her and ask her why she went that way with out informing you
That you will appreciate she returns her back and when she gets settled, she can be taking them for holidays Those children doesn't need to be separated in a canny way
But let me ask you, why can't you and your wife live together
pstemma1990: Thanks for ur input, I take full responsibility for my mistakes sir, all I'm asking is if there's a way I can get the money back... The interest is quite much, and I don't know how to go about it.
What you did was just a very silly mistake and by the time you come out of that debt, you will never trust any one again
Every one will be a suspect to you
You can report him to the military who will beat his scamming life out of him, good
You can go naked and pray for God to frustrate him the way he did to you, his own frustration will be worse than yours
chidifrank: all what you wrote doesn't make sense and its stupid to say.. he should have told her politely that her orders are much? like who does that? if she is too wicked not to realize it when she was making the orders, no one should stop or correct her. let her order all she cared for and pay for it. its that simple. i had a similar case with a lady some months back and she was just ordering all expensive things.. you will be crazy to hear what i did to her the only person wicked here is she
Try get manners small naw
No one is talking about being wicked If you cant caution your girlfriend Then you can't caution your wife
Sadbwoy: Hello nairalanders,please I need you guys advice on something that's bothering me with my bro.
So I'm a college student,almost done,so it's about my bros if i ask him for money he doesn't like giving me,he makes about 400k a month and the only thing he sends for me is 2k in a month,sometimes if I'm lucky 5k,mind you growing up we were poor,he helps our parents a lot and I'm grateful for that,but I don't know why he doesn't like sending me money I hardly ask him and when I do i never get more than 5k,please I need you guys advice ,I don't who to talk to about this,wanna get this off my chest,I'm not asking for much but atleast 10k wouldn't be bad a month.i hope lalasticlala will push this front page
You can see he has line up of responsibilities on him, especially on your parents side
I will suggest you discuss this with your parents, especially your mum and ask her to talk with him on how less than 5k can't solve your needs
Am sure your mum will talk to him and their will be changes
Dgamezzz: We have been dating for 4 years , living together for 2 years we are planning to wed next year .
We been having unprotected sex 2 to 3 times a week but no sign of pregnancy so far. I haven't given her any condition for her to be pregnant before marriage neither we are trying to conceive just being curious if she is fertile or not hence why I am trying to mpregnant her without her consent . If she becomes pregnant during the process it will not be a problem for me. I am a responsible person the baby will not lack anything. My baby mama was pregnant 4 months into the relationship my daughter is 7 years . I am worried that she is not fertile because i want to have 3 to 4 more kids . I don't want to marry her to divorce her later because of the inability of her to conecive. I only want to marry once in my life. I want us to go for fertility test before the marriage but I don't know how to tell her without hurting her feelings.
Please fams help me out I am getting depressed, as I don't know what to do. Please no insult please
You have to Carry her along with your plans
Let her know that you want both of you to go for medical check up to know your health status
That includes fertility test on both of you
If she queries you about it Tell her that you are wondering if you are still potent and you want her too to run fertility test to know when you guys can start having babies
If she refuses to don't force her, you can pull out of the relationship
If she accepts you let it be open test and open test results for both of you before the Doctor who will interpret the results
If it's your own fault, you work on yourself
If it's her own fault you guys will join her and work on her
And if both of you are satisfied ok, then you plan for pregnancy immediately
You have to be open with your partner in your relationship to avoid secret fears
efelicity: They say a house divided against itself will fall. Well, that's not superstition. My parents are always at odds with each other and my dad had always threaten to divorce my mother. Sometimes they would call me to leave my work just to come settle them.
Today my mother called and told me that my father sent her packing..all efforts to bring them together was futile. I blame my mother for refusing to apologise as usual. I just don't know what to do.
When you say divorce, is it verbal divorce or documented divorce
You needs to seat them down and listen to each other complaints
If the fault is with your mom tell her there that it's her fault
If ht fault is from your dad, tell him Politely where he got it wrong
Then if you think you can't handle their matters
They are adults, if your dad insisted on the separation, let her go and get another place for herself
Dont let them drag you in too much for you now to be afraid of marriage
Karen2024: It's my choice..I want to live in a free world in a free relationship with a free man. I hate being bent to superstitious laws. Religious men are the worst people you would ever meet. They intimidate, torment, toture, beat and control you all in the name of religion. I better not date than date a religious man. Monks are the best.
I don't think men are the worst people you will ever meet
In the real sense, men are the best when it comes to assisting people
Now back to your crazy mentality You don't even want to be under any man
Good and fine
Dont wait for men to approach you Be the one to approach them, do the dating talk
Control when you want him to come around and the rest
Be the man in the relationship and let the man be the woman
Rolexxxy: He asked me out, he bought me chiken and lots of soft drings, he proposed but i was yet to accept but he denied knowing me in the presence of another lady. I'm still surprised as this seems to be unreal. Men are indeed unpredictable.
He denied to save his head You dont really know who the other person have been to him, so he has to save himself
Its now left for you to continue with him until he will deny you when you get pregnant
Culture › Re: Why Do African Tradition Only Affect The Women by frozen70(f): 8:16am On Nov 21, 2022
the only person wicked here is she