superboyspecial: Hello, Nairalanders. Please, have you tried processing the death benefits and pension of someone who worked at the Nigeria Security & Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC) before his death? How did you go about it and how long did it take to be processed?
I'm trying to process that of my late dad and would appreciate any guidance or information.
Start from the command where he worked last, you will be told of what documentation to present and how to start the application
You will be referred to his bank to get letter of non indebtedness
You will be referred to national housing to get letter on non indebtedness
When all this are set before it will be packaged and sent to Abuja
If you wish, you can request from them that you will prefer to take it to Abuja and ask then to direct whom to give it to or the the office to take it to in Abuja, so that when you get there you make contact with the people that will handle it and come back then keeping in touch with them
By the time it gets to probably the secret Registry, that's when they will know who he uses as next of kin then they will request for the person to come over
If you guys are unfortunate he uses his wicked brother, that's another kettle of fish because it has to be given to anyone that is the NOK
I am not speaking for his office but I just gave you an idea of what to encounter
LacyPantSniffer: In the late 90's,nigerians were shocked when three strange orange men were spotted on the streets of Lagos.
The three men dressed in all black with orange faces would pop up unannounced in public.
This would scare Nigerians, and make many people run in the opposite direction whenever they showed up in public.
And why not? The three orange men looked scary. They looked like very strange, almost alien-like. You know Nigerians, we are not like white people. We are not inquisitive people. Once we see something strange, we peel off.
Shortly after the three orange men phenomenon had reached a fever pitch,it was revealed that it was an advertising gimmick by Pepsi to introduce their new drink Mirinda to the Nigerian market.
Hollian: So I got married in November 2020 and since then things have been going down on me and things are very hard plus the girl I got married to doesn't give me peace of mind, we quarrel more than we play and we always have disagreements all the time, even though I got married to her because she was pregnant, she doesn't respect that. Since the married her father has automatically seen me as an enemy for no just cost. The worst part is that the girl always insults me and tells me that I will keep begging to eat anytime we have issues. Please I need your advice
The last three lines of your post about her comment on you is what triggered me to make this post
Once a woman you are sleeping with, starts praying or wishing you negativities in your life
Is either you ask her to go back to her parents or you leave that house for her
You guys weren't even prepared for marriage The worst is that she doesn't respect you and her father finds faults in everything you do
Iapologize: This is a public apology to my beautiful wife, yesterday I saw her post on this platform, I'm sorry. Yesterday when I saw your post titled finally I'm kicking my husband out my house enough is enough. I was angry, I told myself that you are wrong for bringing our problems to a public platform but I soon realized that I have been embarrassing you publicly, I have embarrassed you in front of your friends, your family and all who you love. so I have decided that I will apologize to you publicly I'm sorry
firstly I'm sorry for making you feel worthless, I never meant to body shame you. half the time I was high and the other half i was just joking, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, I rarely compliment how beautiful you are. I'm sorry
secondly I'm sorry for never being there for the kids, each time I see them, I was already half drunk, I didn't want them to grow up seeing me as nothing but a drunk so I pushed them away. I'm sorry
thirdly I'm sorry for not supporting your dreams, I didn't want you to go to the university because I didn't want to take care of the children while you were away, I wasn't ready to step up and be a father and you were against hiring a nanny because you fear that the children might be abused (sexually, emotionally or physically), that's why I ask for more kids, I see how you take care of the children with so much love and understanding. honestly I was scared. I didn't want my lavish lifestyle to end, I wanted to be at the club instead of staying home with the children, even the part time you were talking about still sounded stressful to me at that time. I'm sorry.
lastly I'm sorry for all I have put you through. for all the late nights, all the cheating. since we grew up poor, we didn't get to live a lavish life. I wanted the finest things in life and I allowed it to get to my head. I didn't mean to impregnate that girl, yes I did sleep with her raw but I gave her money to buy afterpills.
She was trying to blackmail me using the pregnancy, she wanted to keep the baby. I didn't know what to do, I was scared. I begged her to abort it but she was demanding to much. she thought I was rich, I explained to her that you are the one with the money not me, that's when she threatened to tell you about the pregnancy if i don't pay her off, the money she demanded was too much,I don't have that type of money but I know you do. I had to tell you. I'm sorry
I promise, I will change, please forgive me. my good people of nairaland please help me beg her. we got married when we were early twenties and late teens. please I don't want to lose her.
I will spend time with the kids, I will do a full STD test, I will anything you want just please forgive me.
I don't think you have realized all the nonsense you did to her
Let her carry out her threat then you will take drinks and family members to beg her back if you are sure that your head has gone through factory reset
At least the both family will know that you were the one that was the problem the family had, especially your own family
businessgirl: He stays alone on the mainland in Lagos. His children are married and live far away from him but they do send him things from time to time when they have. He always struggles with food, bills. I wish I can change his state like i want God to use me to make his life much better.
Sometimes you will see him begging for money to feed. One time he composed a msg on paper and asked me to send it to his very good friend. The content of the letter is about him asking for any amount no matter how small.
I immediately felt sorry for him and a bit ashamed for not being able to help.
I left a job that wasn't profiting me and got another one. The salary is poor(still on the look out especially for a remote job to combine).
I really wish a miracle can happen now so I can help him. He is the first person I always think of when I imagine a breakthrough. And then my biological parents.
Pls I'm not begging for help but if you want to help him, I can't stand on the way. I'm not a beggar. I can manage but I don't like seeing this man in this state. He is like a father to me. Always concerned about my welfare.
I have faith for a breakthrough one day. Who else can relate
I am still wondering why you are crying more than the berieved
Are your own family comfortable
Why not ask his children to come and carry him away to where they are
Messi1: I broke up with this lady two years ago and forgot about her.. Since then she has never crossed my mind as anything important.
Last two weeks i saw a message popped up my WhatsApp from a new number, i replied and we started chatting. She has sent me "I miss you" and "I still love you" several times.
This girl said she wants us to get back together and her pushing me to get back to her is frustrating me.
How do I avoid this lady without hurting her?
Its not a difficult thing
In as much as you know that you don't want her again
Just ignore her request, keep a chat with her on a low level
She will give up, so far you will not do the mistake of sleeping with her again or going on outing with her
In another words avoid both of you seeing each other
I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.
Let me cut to the chase.
I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.
I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.
Sex never determines marriage, but love does, but it's not enough
Can you cope with distance relationship with out coming here to complain of him not responding since after your first sex
Who told you that he has not had sex since a year, yet he is sex active, who does that and you believe him
One thing is to promise a woman marriage Another thing is to fulfill it
If he will wait to marry you after school as he has said
Why can't he wait for you and have sex with you on your wedding night and take the respect that you kept yourself for him
I think he is sweet mouthing you with those promise of marriage so that you can submit, i bet you, you won't be able to cope especially as he's going to end the relationship when you are still thinking that the relationship is on
So keep yourself if you can and let him keep his sweet mouth till he is man enough to marry you
Distance relationship is for more matured women who are not new into relationships
Then as for the idiot that said that you should keep same sex relationship that it's better than opposite sex
She is leading you into a wicked bad world of hers Run from her
humility101: I met this lovely lady (30 yo) online 2 months ago. She is in Nigeria and I’m in the Uk. We have been actively chatting, phoning and having lots of facetime. She’s got all they qualities I need in a wife. She has also gone to see my peeps once and they said nice things about her.
I’m planning on wedding her this Christmas and she can join me immediately (UK can be very lonely without a partner) on a dependent visa.
But sometimes I pause and ask myself, I hope I’m not rushing this whole thing? I hope she is not pretending to be nice? I hope she truly loves me? I hope she is not seeing me as a means to japa? A lot of questions going through my mind. This is marriage and I don’t wanna make mistakes.
Advice me please.
Being in a hurry or being slow in marriage matters doesn't guarantee a marriage free of troubles
If you can come home, spend some time with her and you and your family will watch her attitude
If you cant come because of documents issues,
Make plans for her to be observed by your mum, sisters and aunties
That means she will be visiting them and spend weekends with her and they will interact with each other
One year is never enough to understand a woman
The most troublesome woman will humble herself so far her suitor is abroad
Anyone abroad can never understand any one's behaviors in Nigeria due to the economic situations
Lastly, slow down a bit so that reports from the female relatives from your side, whom she will be visiting, Will be put together to know close to her type of person
In another words, only a woman can understand and explain another woman no matter hoe canny, smart or pretending she is
observanc1: Money good shaa. This cuppy girl na only enjoyment get her all her life. Her grandpa, Michael Otedola, former lagos state governor. Her papa, billionaire. Make she try marry shaa.
How many Nigeria men can manage her, respect her status, obey her family before enjoying his marriage
She is better off with a white man, who knows nothing about African customs and traditions
Ammmy: The expectations I had about my life when I was young re not what I got. I'm so tired. What's the point of being in this life when life isn't offering you what you need? At 37 I have no husband, no job, no children from wedlock. I have been applying for jobs but didn't get any. I'm so sad. My life has no direction. I wake up in the morning with no where to go. No achievement, no fulfilment. All my mates are married with 3, 4, kids. I have nothing going for me. I'm so sad and depressed. I'm not happy at where I found myself. I need help. I feel suicidal
Pls take it easy The men too are not finding it easy
You will find and see your husband, but you have to humble yourself and don't look beyond your level
We have graduates driving Okada and Keke
We have master degree holder teaching in private schools
Try to be mixing up with people so that you can get a partner
Is not easy for a lady to Stay with out a man in her life Same thing is applicable with men
Sasi54: How come some ladies don't know even the so-called common things. Straight to the point, there is this lady that I met, she looks so great, nice shape, very respectful & very good in bed. But my issue with her is that she is lacking in so many things that every lady should know about. There was a time she came over to my place, & she told me that she will be staying with for three weeks. So inorder to be able to cater for our needs, I gave #30k for food stuff, this lady told me that the food stuff will get spoiled, that what she will b doing is that every day she will get stuff for us to be eating. I said let me see how she will be able to cook. Guess what? This lady bought bottle of groundnut with some bananas for we to eat for that day, for goodness sake, I am an African man, I can't condole such a life style. I said let me talk some sense into her, but I discovered that she doesn't like anything cooking. Her altitude is just to irritating to me. I want to let her go!
Some ladies concentrated on what to display to attract a man who instead of learning the basic things that keeps a man in a relationship
Its obvious she doesn't know how to cook
Its now left for you to teach her how to buy food stuff and cook
Try doing so for the period she will be staying
After that, you may not approve her coming again and you can decide to end the relationship
If she ask you why the sudden change, tell her that you really need a break from relationship and be focused on other things Am African man like your type wants a woman to do the practical things women do while in a man's house
Crucialgem: So last four month I met a girl that came to deliver eye drug for my boss one thing led to the other we exchanged contact and boom serious relationship started. It got serious that there was hardly a day we don't see each other she is egbira and I had no issue with it. 3 weeks to the relationship I was already proposing marriage to her I went to see her parent and she came to see mine. I am a faithful Muslim and so she is, so she bought the idea of settling down since we had started having sex and we both agreed it is not proper enough. We both brought our family together but because of internal family issues on my side( I don't want to bore you with details) My dad didn't allow the small wedding arrangements to take place and he insisted it was so soon that we should take our time so it was suspended till further notice
To cut the long story short, recently before she left for school we had a little misunderstanding but even before our ish I didn't find her fascinating again, there was a time she was robbed she lost her phone and all her money they stole her ATM and withdraw all the money she had for her school resumption. With a little help from me she was able to go back to school
But guys I barely call her again, I lost interest in her and I can't even explain why, she had begged me countless time but yet, I just find it difficult to vibe with her again, I am so confuse right now, one part of me says I should continue the relationship one the long run I would start liking her again another part is saying other wise, if it is just 4month to the relationship and I am already feeling like this what if we start living together
I need your advise guys should I continue or call it off, do you guys think I might later start liking her back, this is a girl I can't do without before I just can't explain why the sudden loose of interest
I don't know who among you forced yourself to visit each other parents under the little period you have known yourself
Well don't tell her no yet, allow the relationship to grow, even if yt means that it will take another one year round
Your father may have seen what you didn't see
So relax and watch yourself and the relationship
So make your extensive research about people from that axis
pikomamamusicwo: Good pm niranlanders,how una dey? I married very early,that Is five years ago, immediately i started working.immediately we gave Birth to our first child,I was sacked from my place of work in a mysterious way.all our house equipment was sold,we left a comfortable apartment to a single room,at a time I was doing minial jobs just for us to feed.one day,in d process of seeking for solution to get my job back,I got to a church,and d pastor asked me to come with my wife, which I did.to my surprise,d pastor asked my wife,why are u afraid for ur husband to have money? U are thinking if he makes money he will marry other women,he said pls pray for ur husband to succeed,he is bigger than this.And he ask my wife to come back for deliverance,but she refused.secondily,I went to another place,a spirituallist,and a female.she said I married wrongly,that d girl i was supposed to marry I missed it.she said I should come with my wife,and I did she said my wife have another spirit,dat she feels d marriage will not last...but till today, noting I put hand dey work,most times we live together but never discuss together,we just live like strangers at home,and most time I regret getting married.i don't really know what to do now,I can't support my parents like before,they are not happy with me...pls I need advice, prayers and support
This kind matter they weak person
If you are convinced that she is behind your predicament
I think she needs to visit her parents and stay some time with them
While you search for your future success
As time goes on and with what you will be seeing, you will be the one to confirm all you have been told about her
Then at this stage, is either she confess to you and you alone or you leave her with her invisible powers
captaininiobong: Hy guys, I don't know if you have been in this, my woman that agreed to be the mother of my kids as stated by her recently stopped talking to me, picking my calls because she needed a 3million naira marriage.
I told her please why not we do moderate and use the remaining for investment. She said no. The three million is even small.
When I asked her what will we use the 3million to do, she said to buy furniture for the home. Uptill now she doesn't pick my calls, reply my chat if not that no be God showed her to me I would have deleted her number off my phone but am still keeping it for a reason I don't even know.
We have been together for long, not until a friend of mine got married and I told her they did thier marriage not less than 300k, then she said it's a big lie.
Consider the relationship as an aborted mission
Dont mind her with her attitude
Just be watching her while you prepare your mind towards deflating any nonsense she comes up with
udofia234: Good morning my wise nairalander and once again I believe I can count on your advice....
work with a company, but as a hustler I have just few home lessons I do for selected people who can pay my bills.
This years July I got a home lesson through a trusted friend and believe me guy this people are paying me good money, what I get is more than half of what I earn in my work place, I go there only twice a week.
The parents of the said student I'm teaching are working with the govt, the dad is a colonel in Nigeria army and the mom works with inec, so this people are rich.
They have a son who am preparing for waec, neco and jamb, he is just 16years, I shouldn't be saying this here guys but I'm fed up, since I got this lesson I know how much I've made apart from my pay from the parents, this boy offered to pay pay me good cash to permit him go out to get his market(drugs) which I rejected, his parents are strict, they instructed me not to allow the boy go out of the house when ever I'm there , the dad specifically called me to monitor the boy and report any strange behavior..
On many occasions I've had few altercations with the boy, to my utter amazement this boy threatened to report me to his father that I stole his iPhone and his money, and nobody wants to end up in a military barracks.
This boy doesn't have that freedom to go out anytime I'm not there for lesson because the parents had also contacted a nanny to watch over them, so when ever I'm there for lesson the nanny is on off, so her off is 2wice per week. May be the nanny allows him too I don't know, but I have invested my time on this boy but he is so addicted!!! He was withdrawn from the hostel where he was schooling may be because of this bad character, I don't want to leave the job without helping the boy!!! The boy can go to any length to frame me before his parents.
Just last week I went there before my resumption time because I came back from office a bit early, so instead of going home direct I decided to drop, guys as I got into the house the door was not properly locked, I found the boy and the nanny smoking weed!!! My God!!!! I was perplexed!!! I knew something was fishing right from the time I saw the nanny attitude towards the boy!!! she claimed she was just helping the boy out of her love for him, cos I will never allow him buy that stuff when I'm there!!
The nanny have being pleading with me not to tell the boys father, that she only helped the boy purchase the stuff out of love and that she does not want to hurt the boys feeling, can u imagine that rubbish? my colleagues at work said if that attitude doesn't affect my huge pay I should just shut my eyes and continue my work, but my conscience will not allow me, some said I can be framed if I say anything. if I tell the dad is in two ways I must provide an evidence to make him believe me, secondly if I do, the son can frame me up before the father and that could spell doom for me!!!
There must be a way to help this young boy out of drugs!!!! Pls help I need your advice wise men in the house. There are still many I can't even be saying here guys.
This boy will start WAEC soon and after that your job will be over with the family
Keep managing then till he starts his WAEC and finish his papers then you schedule a visit with his dad to inform him and his mum your observations
If they ask you why you kept it so long before informing them
Tell them that you don't want anything that will affect your teaching with him because he will no longer pay attention as he needs you to assure him that he got your back this period that he will be writing exams
That you decided to open up now because he is done with the exams and you have nothing to do that will affect your relationship with him academically
That you are now informing the parents of what you have seen and they should work on it for his future
usah4: It's never easy to stay in a place where you don't have peace of mind, you're either hated or you hate people. I've asked my uncle to summon him this December for a family meeting, cos he respects his brother I know he'll get Pass to come then I'll talk to him face to face but in Africa when you do things like this some of our parents think we're been stupid and stubborn (like in my case he'll say "So you've grown to an extent you want to start asking us questions" and that's why I'm looking for a plan B should in case my plan A fails if it turns sour.
Am glad you guys will be having a family meeting this December
If it works out, you have to be very polite in all your presentations
You must respect the presence of the elders
You have a good point to present, but if it lacks respect and decorum
You will loose every thing that moment and the next thing, They will assume you don't have respect and your dad wings will grow larger
But if your presentation is proper and with decorum, they will clip your father's wing
You can also invite your sister and probably your mother if she will wish to attend
usah4: Thank you, my mom is not in the picture because she and my dad separated even before I was 5 and she's doing nothing except farming and she's not married till now, I don't even know why they're apart. He doesn't even send her it's as if she doesn't exist to him, she comes in the picture once; like in this case now he my dad may call her to caution me. The fact still remains I've been so comfortable in my comfort zone that I'm scared of the outside world, like where do I start from, if I leave to earn a living where do I stay to start hustling and my fear is how bad the country is. Gone are the days where people sleep under bridges to hustle but with the current kidnapping, killings and banditry attacks I fear for my life.
Sorry for what you have been going through
Now you see why your mum separated from your dad, it's because of his regimented attitude
Your papa no send anyone
You can still operate from your comfort zone and like I said, don't confront him
Look around for casual work or office assistant boy
You just have to make up your mind to face life with it's challenges, at least you have accommodation, that's why i want you to neglect your dad because of the roof he gives you
ChybuzzDD: Imagine this kind of stupid advice! And the guy is thanking you!
He should "stand with mum" whenever there's an argument with his dad, even if the woman is wrong You must have been raised by a single, mannerless, quarelsome and wannabe feminist mother!
Jman06: It cost him his energy plus the money he has to spend in the relationship. How I wish more men can learn how to control their sex urges like myself, so that we'll have you ladies beg and even pay for sex with men.
Funny enough your wish won't even ever come through
Elizmife: Good evening everyone, please try not to look at it to bother you with my own problem, the house we are staying in Lagos is in dangerous condition as the landlord keep collecting money and refused to maintain the house plus we stay in the house for 2 years without using light, so hurtful we were deceived before we packed in not knowing there has been huge debt on ground which made NEPA to disconnect the light for 2 years. the landlord did not maintain the house the wall keep breaking down every time, I mean blocks of the house breaking down seriously plus the house seems weak right now we have been leaving in the house with fear, even with the landlord not been responsible he is has been asking for part payment of the rent when is yet to be but will be due by Dec. We want to move out, we have searched for House and we saw one but the landlord insisted on collecting 720,000 naira, but we have been able to gather 400,000 through our total savings and borrowing. House please help us the landlord is someone that can disgrace with shout if by Dec we did not move out or renew rent.
What help do you want exactly from the faceless forum
Is it the help to raise the amount to be 720k
You already have 400k, why not look for an accommodation that fits into your budgets
All these nonsense of begin to support you will not even solve the problem because by next year rent, you will be stranded
You have to cut the size of your coat according to the shape you are looking for, not cutting over size coat and look shapeless
usah4: I have been going through this for like 4 years now and I don't know how to break free as my hands are tight. I got into an argument with my dad over the phone last night because of my sister who's schooling in Lafia as a Community Health Extension Worker (CHEW). She called complaining to me been her elder brother of how my dad sent her 1K for upkeep, according to him (my dad) that my uncle has given my sister some money for upkeep so he sees no reason sending her money, the same Man that paid my sister's tution fee of 200k+ some months back with my dad contributing nothing and him (my dad) as a soldier can't afford to send my sister even 5k for upkeep a girl child; I got mad called him and told him that's pure wickedness and that I've reported him to my uncle and we're to sit this December to iron things out. As a soldier that he is nah got angry and started ranting that this should be the last time that I'll speak to him in that manner, I told him this was the same thing he did to me while I was schooling in the Polytechnic but I could cope because I am a guy (I'm only but 20 years old) and he shouldn't be treating my sister in that manner and if that be the case then I'm leaving the house to go look for something to do and support my sister and myself who they've chosen to domesticate. To my greatest suprise my father told me that if I think I am a man that I should leave the house last night and not even wait till the next day; I felt dead but still alive. I hold National Diploma in Computer Science. I need help on how to break free, I can do any job for a start. I'm losing my sanity and honestly sometimes I see death as a way out.
You are not leaving to wage war with your dad
You are leaving to establish your self and help the family
What about your mum, why is she not in the picture
Look, if your dad doesn't want to contribute anything for his daughter education, just ignore him
His reward will line up for him at old age
I will advise you don't fight your dad but look for something to do to ease the tension
Family › Re: How To Process Death Benefits In Nigeria by frozen70(f): 9:42pm On Nov 13, 2022
and that's why I'm looking for a plan B should in case my plan A fails if it turns sour.