₦airaland Forum

Stop whatever it is that you are smoking, its not good for you at all.

onila: jk rawlings-so sexy

This is the height of psychophancy. Abia state is so unfortunate to have had TA as a governor. He hasn't done anything right, not even one goodwill.He sacked non indigenes yet he still owes even the indigenes. A journey from Aba to Enugu that normally takes 2 hours now takes about 8 hours, between Umumahia and Aba that normally takes 45mins now takes over 2hours all because of bad roads.Roads within Aba are no better as there isn't one single good road.
Teachers, civil servants are being owed. He uses the military to intimidate perceived enemies/opponents. What was the basis for the award? Smh in disgust

HQ: Tell me it's not true.

Anyways, that's her choice.

Anyone know if "Gate Crashers" are allowed?

Hell No!! gate crashers are allowed. Its only those with IVs like me that are allowed.
Gate carshers will be shot and survivors will be shot again.
Lolz

Abeg who get Janefat phone number, I need the IV for ϑα† wedding asap.That Rolex must be gotten

This thread is exactly what I need. I am so grateful to the Op for Bringing this up and to every one that has contributed.

Haven't you heard that what a man can do, a woman can do it even better, before??

nkemmu: Dieing for love has been and is strictly for men and has never been for women.you can ask your dad if am lieing

Somebody help out here, is this our own Nigerian Super eagles

Now am pitying both Liberian coach and players.Remaining 2 more goals to complete the spelling

killuminati: Funny commentator, he wants dem to spell L.I.B.E.R.I.A

Which kind of rain is this, dstv signals have stopped here. Guys please up update us on the match.
⌣»̶·̵̭̌·̵̭̌✽̤̈̊Ŧђɑ̤̥̈̊п̥̥̲̣̣̣kƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇✽̤̈̊·̵̭̌·̵̭̌«̶⌣

I think its a good idea when married, but my question is what of when dating??

This man never disappoints,always spewing trash. If he had such intelligence reports as he claims,why didn't he share it with security agencies? After all Abuja which is the hq of most security agencies is very close to him. Am sure if he had shared this vital info, somehow it wouldn't have degenerated into this monster that has consumed many lives and properties. Maybe he wants the FG to create a boko
Haram infested states and a boko haram infected states' development commission like the niger delta states and niger delta development commission.

AmBeautiful: 1. Gtb (getting worse by the second)
2. Zenith (all they have are fine fine well-dressed girls without manners)

These two banks get serious issues!

Seriously, are you in my head? Exactly what I was going to say.
Zenith's is even worse, I wonder whether all forms of good manners were extracted from the girls at their training school. Unless they perceive you as 'rich' before they attend to you politely.
I will add Union bank and UBA....always crowded. Won't even open account in these banks at Gun point

How come you alone acquired this level of st*u*pi*ty?Gosh, you can't even construct the simplest of sentences, yet you come out to rant about your president. What has the topic got to do with what you just spewed? Its okay to be st*u*p*id but please don't abuse the privilege.

jamst: it is so unfortunate dat we av dis man has our president and many nigerians d
ont know the evil agenda of pdp ruling the country...take a look @ wat has happen since 1999-2012,(bad govern, insecurity,natural(artificial)disaster etc)...wake up people! wake up people!! pdp is our enemy of progress in this country. peace2all

Wonderful write up @ OP.
Can't remember when last I read such a soul touching write up. Mum, I promise to make you proud and you will live long enough to reap fruits of your hard labour...Amen

ANSWER ALL
Note: No calculator or any electronic devices.
Time:- 1hr:30mins only

SECTION 1:- OBJECTIVE

1) What is the name of the first Igbo boy that opened shop at Alaba market?
(a) Don jazzy (B) Anyim Pius Anyim (c) Gov. Peter Obi

2) Who addressed herself as a widow while her husband is still alive?
(a)Jonathan Patience (B) Turai (c)Stella

3) Who Strike pass?
(a) Boko Haram (B)Thunder (c) ASUU (d)Patience Dame

4) You can sharpen cutlas on Banky W's head
(a) True (B) false (c) don't know

5) What are the names of the two people holding hands when you power-on a Nokia phone?
(a) Charly Boy and Denrele (B) JayRu and WizzKid (C)OBJ and IBB

6) If the past tense of take is took, the past tense of make is
(a) Mook (B)maked (c) maken

7) I have a dream is to Luther King as I have no shoes is to …..
(a) GEJ (B) IBB (c) OBJ

What is the plural form of GARRI
(a) garris (B) garried (B) garium

9) What is it about ORIENTAL ENTERTAINMENTS that makes them the Heartbeat of Entertainments in Oyo-State for over a decade?
(a) Mario's marital status (B)Movado's super SK
supply (c) Obafemi Awolowo's kurube

10) Which University has the highest no. of babes that travel to Dubai for 2weeks and return with British accent?
(a)Bowen B)UI (c)Ajayi Crowther (d) LCU

SECTION 2:- THEORY Attempt all questions.

(1a)Differentiate between Do or Die and if I don't win the next election there will be blood shed.

(B)If it took Goodluck Ebele Jonathan 50years to trek to Aso rock without SHOES, how long will it take if he was putting on "CANVASS"

(2a) Using Almighty Formula, calculate the diameter of Banky W's head (take =3.14)

(B) If your X-Boyfriend or X-girlfriend Wins N100Million Naira In The Glo WINBIG Promo 2 Days After you Broke Up! FIND X! I Repeat! Find X"

(3) If Ada is a girl and obi is a boy, who is Adaobi?
I wish U Goodluck

Revolva: @21 finished university and can't be productive just to dey Bleep around - rushing school and endin ur being notin

Oga, whatever it is you smoked isn't doing you any good.

Decryptor: Hw does this revert the price of indomie noodles from N60 back to N50?

Yeeeepppppaa, e don even reach ur area too

[qu :Dote author=bandiejay]

Falls from AIT Tower Pole where i dey tap free internet[/quote]Looooooolllllzzzzz, guy own bad wella. You need help asap

Very Hilarious responses. I have laughed so hard that Tears dropped. You guys made me forget my pot on the fire and burnt my food where I was reading and laughing. Can't think of a better way to kickstart my Monday Morning.

berem: so what do you want him to give them? Bags of Garri? Abeg the president has tried.since the able bodied ones couldn't get a single medal,these medalists should be rewarded!

Hehehehehehe

@ Op Thumbs up Mr President, now I am happy that hardwork is being rewarded with National honours. This will truly inspire others.

* walks into thread, finds it very interesting..quickly grabs popcorn and coke, then sits down on the nearest chair while enjoying the responses*

Subscribing......

How it affects the price of garri!!
Cassava will now be in high demand because of its flour that is used for bread baking, consequently, less cassava will be available for the production of garri. This implies that COST of GARRI will INCREAE ie affecting the price of garri adversely. Now this calls for concern by all well meaning garri liberation fighters.
I implore on the pro garri fighters to seriously protest this trend to avoid 'stories that touch the heart'
Aluta Ebanma....Victoria Ascerta!!!!

Mynd_44: And does it help?

Yes it does help to a very large extent. At least I get to view some of government's economic policies from a broadened horizon after reading the very intelligent analysis from fellow Nairalanders.

To check how the topic affects the price of semovita or wheat!!
*runs off thread before the missiles start flying*

Just won the aeroplane, who knows where can I park it

Discombobulated....Ask Sexkillz
Donpuzzo.......used to refer to anybody that claims he takes a picture of a bike carrying another bike in his SUV

Only in Nigeria will somebody claim that he took a picture of an okada carrying another okada while driving his SUV, whereas the picture does not remotely indicate so. If na lie ask Donpuzzo

My family, where I am coming from!!

GBAGAUN ALERT!!!!!
Frankly, I don't blame her. Even me would walk away too.

sdiq: THE LAST TIME I TRY DOING ALL THIS, NOT ONLY DID SHE LEAVE ME, SHE REALLY EMBARASE ME AT STREET ABEG NAIJA BABES ARE ADVANCE OLOSHO JORR

1supremo: Story Story is made in Nigeria for the BBC.

Lmao....more like made in Nigeria for nairaland.
@OP ⌣»̶·̵̭̌·̵̭̌✽̤̈̊Ŧђɑ̤̥̈̊п̥̥̲̣̣̣kƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇✽̤̈̊·̵̭̌·̵̭̌«̶⌣ for the tips sha 'just wondering if the tips are applicable to Nigeria'

Idowuogbo: Dat na gluttoness...

Lmfaoooo! She b Tarzan?

He should speak to his feet shaparly