₦airaland Forum

IyaTola:
Not almost.We met on facebook as usual.We have been speaking for about three months. I usually travel to go shop for my store.You will never see a trace of this man anywhere.

He even said he wanted us to relocate to another country, but I notice he hardly pick his calls late at night .But i will be wondering, he will give me one excuse or the other.

So I went to Lagos we were suppose to meet up.I lodge myself In a hotel,I got into lagos so late.This guy said he was coming,today tomorrow I have not seen him.

So I came on my Facebook,on my message request i saw a lady have been dropping messages to me.She even added me on Facebook .Come and see message,I read the message then went on her page. Oga is married with two kids and another one on the way.The woman started calling my Number. She told me how she is pregnant the guy will not respect her. How he gave her STD. I was so lost ,don't even know how to console her over the phone.She said she got my number from her husband phone.

After that call she said she want to be my friend that I'm a nice person.I just block her so called husband including her.She even added me with another Facebook again.That made me put up a bio on my Facebook. After that rubbish.


Second experience
I almost oo hmmmm, Mr man lied he wasn't married and he was seeking for a serious relationship. Myself i just came in to the states of recent b4 he approached me.
But my ex thought me something on how to check on someone via Facebook with their digits. So, that taught came to my mind and i decided to give it a trial.
Loo and behold Mr was with his so called wife on profile pics.
At first i was like..., why will this man lie for not being married� or is he a divorcee... But he never said so to me.
Next thing i did was to chat a lady who was always tagging him in her Post and this lady looks like the lady he was with on his Profile pix.
I chatted her, we got talking i asked her if she knows the man, shockingly to me she admitted being his wife and the MR man has 4 grown Kids. Iyameeee oo church dismissed that was how i sent him a message telling him to please go and take care of his family oo. Mr man Got shocked and AHAHHHH TOSIN TOSIN.... Till now he still claiming to be single, even after i saw his Facebook account, this guy still claim it was because of travelling he did the wedding, promising Heaven and Earth,he would come to place late hour claiming if he was married how would he be staying out late....... Men Men Men some of them Devil is just learning from them. Chai.

Thank you for sharing.

Leezah:
Honestly ladies have seen hell, this is what girls must pass through before ending up been Mrs ?? But its well.

You will never notice they're married because there's nothing suspicious even in their home.

First one.... The wife was far from him where she's working, and his home looks so much like bachelor's home and I find out through my friend who saw his pictures on my phone one day. I confronted him,he denied it till date.

Second one, The man even promised to marry me not knowing he's already engaged. I found out through his ex gf whom I suspected he was cheating on me with on Facebook. The good aunty revealed everything to me. The funny part is he never posted his so called wife on social media, nor have her pics on phone. He's also single on social media. The ex told me he married the lady because of her money and only go to visit her once in a while because he's still living in his bachelor's house.

Third one, His brother he introduced to me one day started developing feelings for me ooo. Even went to the extent of revealing his brother's secret of being married to one village girl with a kid so I should leave his brother and come to him. I confronted his brother and he didn't even deny it just and also told me that he wish he meet me before the girl and that he's ready to leave her for me. Mehnnnnn I gave up on men since those experience. It really hurts

All of this three are still looking fresh and young. U will never suspect them being engaged let alone married. May God help we ladies oooo

Amen

Oyindamolah:
It's actually happened to my friend. We were class mate back then in the higher institution. She was in Enugu and the guy stays in Lagos he comes to Enugu once in a month to see her.

She never knew he has been married for 2 years they dated with 3 kids. I told her to go visit this guy in Lagos to know where he stays or ask him to introduce her to any member of his family but love no gree my babe think but I still have my doubts about the man.

My babe was shattered when she found out herself that the man is married I also cried for her because she is a nice lady and doesn't deserve such deceitful act. He thought he has won but he forgot karma is a bitch. God of the innocent will fight for her.


My cousin dated one idiot for almost 4 months #never knew he even married earlier that same year and has a little daughter #OLORIBURUKU SOMEBODY


Hmmm, no be small matter oooo, even me I was at his wedding oooo 1 week after his wedding uncle started approaching me that he like my type, my slim and shape bla bla bla n I ask uncle are u married n he said no ooo God forbid n I ask him dat I usually saw him with a woman on ladies machine he denied it telling me dat it's his brother wife and I said ok dat I will think about it, since then uncle always come to our place with gift n money knocking in our gate, sometimes my mum will open d gate and ask him who he is looking for and he will say he is looking for me.

I keep thinking how some men can deny his wife just Bcox of sex, I told my mom n she said she will confront him when next he visit I told my mom not to dat I will talk to him n uncle came again I confront him n he swear to me dat he is not married even lick the sand on floor I became angry and told him that I will call the wife and told her everything and also let him know that I was at there wedsing, uncle was begging me dat he will do anything for me dat is d work of d devil coz I recorded all our conversations. Some men can lie for Africa n deny their wife.

@kemimarch16

As it was said in th salon
She haven't accepted but on that day Chelsea had match. FA cup final and they decided to go together, on their way one woman was following them well she didn't suspect anything.
She came to their front, looked at them and entered a shop.
She asked him, do you know that woman? And the he replied me "leave that mad woman wey dey live for our street...
The woman came again and she noticed that something was amiss plus hse was holding a red and white cloth dangling in her hand, she asked the woman madam please who are you.
Nah then she knew say that woman nah is guy wife ohhhh.
she begged her, madam he didn't tell me that he is married ohhhh, infact nah Chelsea match we dey go watch we are not dating ohhhh...
I mean dude has 5kids, 2 sets of twins and the last born....
Men I tire for una matter

Thank you for sharing

Ladies, please, don't let them shame you into silence, speak out so that the formats that these liars use can be exposed. Thanks
I see you.

membranus:
What's your problem?

He asked for advice, give it if you have any to give. If you have none keep your mouth shut tight.

Why are you carrying his matter too much for head and insulting him?

Bad manners everywhere.

I said I was coming, he chose to jump the gun. The post you quoted was the result of his impatience.
Well, let me hold off for now.

dangoteinlaw:
op I hope you see how condescending this comment sound, that's the same way the ppl telling you to be strong and continue with her and give birth to sicklers will all laugh at you and tell you it is your problem to bear. You have one life to live bro, you cannot continue to work forever oh, born children that will continue from where u stop

When you're seeking for advice, you don't insult people trying to help out in the little way they can especially on a forum known to be rife with fake stories.
At the end of the day, each individual will have to face the consequences of their choices.

ZeroShenanigan:
some of you, when you come online, you only end up demonstrating how deluded you are.
I deliberately put up the story in thousands of words to keep people like you away from the comments. You can see I didn't apologize for writing so long as it also help me to give enough details about the matter. I'm also using my real account to avoid people tagging the story fake because I sincerely need the advice and words of encouragement. I'm doing this also to reach out to those who don't know their genotype to get tested before before getting married.
What about if there was a mix-up from the school genotype result? Do you think it's advisable to rely on such genotype result which is conducted massively? Even if you have it done in school, please go and double check for marriage purpose. Go through my write up again, I didn't deny doing it in school but I never take cognisance of the out come. Maybe I misplaced the result since I don't have any reason to be in the hospital.
And to that your mumu question, about buying result... I'm coming.

Savage baba
I hope your savageness has solved your quandary.
However you paint your story, you were careless with your own life and only you have to bear the consequences.

Chidonc:
Women and wahala, you date her for sometime and proposed, she satrts crying, shouting, rolling on the floor. Where was she expecting the relationship to lead, NEPA office or police station . As if she's even surprise.

She was expecting it to end in tears of pain

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Plot hole number one: You cannot complete your fresher registration in any higher institution without doing blood group and genotype tests. (Or did you buy your certificate?)
I'm coming.

Mariangeles:
What is the point of marriage then?
Just for sex and children

A good man will love his wife if her properties are acquired in their children's names. Likewise for a good woman.
Only spouses with ulterior evil motives will raise eyebrows over decisions like this.
If you have a good heart and you are blessed with a good spouse, these things should not be a problem.

incogni2o:
But I can assure you it is the job of a Husband to change a badly trained wife.

Through understanding, patience and maturity and love.

Unfortunately some of our senior brothers just resort to slapping.

the problem now is that how do we handle it when both are badly trained.

They should go for counseling if they want it to work out, else it's going to be one problem after the other.
It takes two to build a happy home, it also takes two to build a shitty home.

bukatyne:
Well, it is a typical Nigerian marriage, always trying to outsmart themselves.

They lack the definition of sacrifice, oneness, unity and love.

They never see themselves as a team hence will tag with anything or anyone than themselves to fight the battles of life.

That's why any advise to reflect the ideals above is rebuffed as slavish, mumuish, anti-woman, anti-men, anti-human, anti-everything.

How can a wife sleep comfortably beside a husband she does not trust to 'have her back' because they do not have kids? Are they not a team?

How can a husband in good conscience and everything moral ask his wife to document him as the sole owner of a property she single handedly bought?

If he said joint ownership, I would say he was upholding the ideal of oneness if he was going to reciprocate.

See people saying she is right to buy the land in her name only because it is her money. The husband was the one that did the whole hustling o!

What is the difference between the above and a husband who thinks his wife did not have any impact in his life/do anything because she was an housewife?

Toor.

This man's case is different, he sleeps around.
An unfaithful husband is not to be trusted with anything!

Romangalactic:
Are you sure you really want this? Na women go suffer am pass na Even cococandy will not agree to this type of gender equality

Everyone should work.
This method will make females more serious with academics and work, but you guys won't like it, no more slaves for you. No more deception on either side.

ProfAmaben:
[i][/i]
Men and women can never be equal.

In your opinion

incogni2o:
Make sure you hear your Friends side of the story.

Women rarely tell you the complete Story,

Bro, Pls go back and get us the compete version. I don't like supporting just one side in Relationship issues.

Most times both parties have something they aren't doing right

Your Friend gets Drunk, Sleeps around, Always wants to feel Right and Beats His Wife.

His wife hasn't understood him in order to know how to tame and change him.

You also can't do that either and made things worse by supporting his other indulgences.

I'm afraid for that your Friend.

It's not the job of a wife to change a badly trained husband.

ProfAmaben:
This is very wrong. So it's only men that should include their spouse's name on purchased property not the other way around? I thought men and women are equal?

Everyone should hold on to their properties, male and female.
Everyone should write wills of their own, stating the handing over of their properties to their kids once the children are born.
That is equality.

The woman has our support

bukatyne:
For him to think of raping a 11yr old when the OP is concerned about her speaks volumes of his home training and mindset.

Very disturbing post, it was.

Casandra25:
I have talked to him alot, at some point I even cried but he still won't listen

Are you sure this guy is not using yyou for sex?
You cried over sex?

God bless your hustle

May God bless your helper. So cute a baby. Thank God for her life

LawBreaker:
You can blame and criticize me. I am not a Saint. I am a sex addict and it has led me into two unwanted pregnancies almost at the same time. Though I did do series of abortion. But these two, they refused to do. I have really tried to curtail myself but I can't help myself. This is not the kind of life I chose, but I can't help myself. The two pregnancies have really thought me a lesson, so I now use CD and stopped keeping series of girls. I pray God forgives me cuz I have turn a new leaf. I have bend down and seriously looking for a wife to marry.

Much as you want your child, you don't seem to be mentally or psychologically capable of raising a child.
Do him a favor and stay away.

Amazinggirl95:
she has forgotten his name

How can a woman forget the name of a person she had intercourse with?
Well, you said we should keep our tantrums to ourselves.

foleskay:
Must every guy Fvck every girl that visit him??

Hey foleskay, I don't know how to handle this PM thing.

She's not responding

MostSoughtAfte:
If it’s a Nigeria woman she will pack all her children and go beg for his pardon.... ignoring the fact that he might kill her someday too..

I saw it play out this last month.

Angry people everywhere

Let her date him for while longer and see if she can cope. Much as I hate time wasters, I don't think she should rush too fast.

UjuJoan2:
Lol. I love my husband, doesn't mean I love being married.

Toor

UjuJoan2:
I still feel so restricted, even though I've been married for going on 10yrs now. . . And my husband is one of the most liberal Nigerian husbands I know . . Yet I feel caged, and sometimes find myself wishing I was single and free . . . I wonder if that will ever end!

You've been married before, why do you even want to go there again? If my marriage ever ends, I'm NEVER getting hitched again. I'm staying single for life!

What!!!!!
I thought you loved your marriage.