 Family › Re: What Am I Doing Wrong And How Can I Get Better? by Stevenbright(m): 4:37pm On May 28, 2023 |
AlKhawarism:
I'm a young man in my mid twenties. I used to be very quiet and spend most of my time alone while growing up because I don't have friends. I was always the one looking for friends and the one always seeking to be accepted but in the end, i get none. People who we left primary school together for the same secondary school would come together to form joint ventures, go out, buy clothes together and all during our last day in secondary school but I was sidelined and never knew about it till the day. I was dying of loneliness everyday but I kept everything to myself.
Fat forward to university days, i vowed to be the best and It was not long before I was among the few first class student in my department and though few people come to me to talk, it never passes the level of academics and once they're able to solve the difficult questions they're dealing with, then it's over until there's another assignment or test or exam question again.
Sometime during my school, i would be angry and really pissed of when I realize the reason someone was talking to me was so i could help them with their academics and immediately that is solved, it's all gone. No sustained relationship, no nothing. But I slowly had to let it go because I was already getting used to being a loner.
I will joke sometime, i will play, and most time, i will be alone and this has followed me out of the university and into my work place.
I decided to not be the loner i used to be by being open, meet people, talk to people outside of my department and all and the results are the same.
Another thing I observed is that people don't take my advice or inputs seriously. They will never do anything if they heard i was the one who suggested it. If i say something, it's always met with either reluctance or nobody accepting it but once someone else says it, then it's the Gold. I once proposed a solution to our supervisor during a meeting and what i was getting were reasons why it won't work and even when I tried explaining why i think it will work, i was getting shut down. And a colleague later said the same thing and the supervisor replied "Fantastic!"
I felt really bad and I don't know what to do. If there's something I'm doing wrong, I'll love to know or if there's an area of improvement, please kindly suggest.
I'm afraid I may not go that far if people do not listen to me and hear me out. Recently, there were case study issues we were resolving in a team and all my suggestions were the same thing I got as answers when I tried using ChatGPT to solve the same case study and still, nobody took my submissions seriously.
What is wrong with me? Where am I getting it wrong? From my perspective, three things might be involved: 1. They may not be taking you seriously because of the poor presentation of your points. If this is the case, then you need to be more concise and brief (straight to the point) when making your points. 2. They may not be taking you seriously because they know you to be someone who talks too much and without a second thought on issues. If this is the case, you need to discipline yourself to be more mature, thoughtful and wise in your idea presentation. 3. It is possible you are always in a hurry to make your points. So, always listen to other people and even get a cue from them before making any point. If possible, wait until they ask for your opinion in most cases and they will surely appreciate it if it is apt and on-point. |
| Family › Re: How Can I Stop One Woman I Know From Suicide? by Stevenbright(m): 3:28pm On May 27, 2023 |
Jogunomi1:
I met this woman through one of my male friends because she was referred to me for advice on her relationship matters.
Her longtime lover and her parted ways. But she lost a lot to that relationship in term of resources and dedication. What's killing her is that the guy got another woman but won't stop telling others that he left her because she's a bad person. But if you examine the life of this woman, she had never loved another man in her entire life apart from that guy. The guy also sends message to her once in a while to taunt her... messages like "have you been able to get another man? I doubt you can"; "I'm now with my heartthrob, I just tried calling you to see you have moved on but you didn't answer the call suggesting the wickedness in you never dies"... She showed me a lot of these messages while still crying. I have done all I can to help her.
You may think starting a new relationship will help her, but she vows not to get married. Anytime I'm not with her physically, she talks about suicide so much.
Another factor driving her crazy
She works in a company owned by husband and wife. She worked directly under the husband, but the wife is not comfortable because this woman is very beautiful and in her late twenties. The wife looked for excuses to sack her but the husband refused. She was then sent to another department. But the husband got fed up with the new person they sent to work with the husband and requested that this girl be sent back to work under him. This girl is educated beyond first degree. I don't want to mention her profession because someone from her company may be reading this. While she was working with the husband, the wife showed her hell that she was at the verge of committing suicide. Her saving grace was the fact that they sent her to a new unit where she won't be working with the husband directly.
Now she told me she will rather die than go back to work under the husband. I told her to resign. But she said resignation will make the suicide she's thinking of quicker because she's the one taking care of her parents. The company is close to their house in Lagos; should she start looking for another job now and even if she gets another not close to her house, it's another disaster because of a reason I won't like to disclose here.
This girl is Igbo and I'm of a different tribe. I need advice about how to help her because her parents know nothing about all these. Time is running out.
Mynd44, RoyalRoy, please help me push to front-page. She should save up between now and November. Change environment (work, local government or even state) and her leads: phone number, social media, email etc and start all over again. |
| Career › Re: What's Your Fall Back Plan? by Stevenbright(m): 12:21pm On May 25, 2023 |
cole19:
as a family man with 3 pos shops which I personally manage one myself. now, pos don dey cast, two among the three shops are closed presently.. idan no even understand what next to do aje.
9ja too hard abeg In the one you are presently managing, look for some good products that can have high sales and stock them if the place is an enclosed store. With this, you will not depend on only the POS business while using the same space. |
| Politics › Re: “Nobody Can Be Nigeria's President Without Getting 25% In FCT”—Kadaria Ahmed by Stevenbright(m): 4:26pm On May 22, 2023 |
Chuksyno:
Nobody but rerun is inevitable if tribunal give upright judgement. According to you guys opinion, no need for rerun. The person that won the FCT should be declared winner because he won FCT as that can't change as he still remains the winner of FCT even in the face of a rerun! |
| Family › Re: Responsibilities Of A Man In Nigeria by Stevenbright(m): 11:13pm On May 21, 2023 |
Andrix:
1. NEPA don bring bill.
2. Buy bread when u are coming.
3. Buy Egg when u are coming.
4. Gas don finish.
5. Kerosine don finish.
6a. Generator no gree start.
6b. Buy fuel for generator when u are coming.
7. Car don get flat tyre, e no gree start.
8. School fees don show.
9. DStv/GOtv etc don stop to dey show.
10. Dem come ask for vigilante money.
11. Month don end for Lesson teacher.
12. Biscuit and Happy Hour nko?
13. Dem go begin report the children to u as u dey enter.
14. If u never build, Landlord matter na madding.
15. Dem go still shook hand for ur pocket pack d small change join.
16. Tell u d pikin dey run temperature like say u be doctor.
17a. Buy them credit.
17b. Buy them data.
18. Not excluding Suya, Cat fish etc on some nights.
19. Fridge, pressing iron, fan etc. go stop, another headache.
20. Dem still wan go amusement park o on public holidays.
21. How much be the salary sef?
I come go hospital for fever, doctor say I get High BP.
How man no go get High BP?
On top all, you must not disappoint in the inner room.
Dem go still give you instruction..
*"HONEY HARDER"!!
I omitted vacations & shopping.
You have to do that too once in a while.(if you can).
My brothers in the house, let's take it easy. Our lives matter.
With or without us, life will continue.
*GOD Bless and be with all Men. ❤️❤️
Cheers and happy Sunday 🥂 You guys don't eat food, wear clothes in your house? |
| Family › Re: Why do most abroad nd successful Nigerians do this? by Stevenbright(m): 8:52pm On May 21, 2023 |
SyrusdeHansome:
Why is it that whenever a Nigerian has an opportunity to relocate to a foreign country he or she instead of also encouraging nd motivating others that are also nursing the same ambition of traveling out will use the opportunity to discourage us by painting a very bad picture of the said country? They'll begin to tell us how lonely nd how tough it is over there. I have an uncle that once told my dad that if he had his way he will never allow any of his children to set their foot in the US but as i'm writing this 4 of his children are schooling there nd he's abt sending the last born there too. Pls what do u think is the reason successful Nigerians do this. It is just like a Nigerian dealing in a particular business telling you it is not a profitable niche and that he is just struggling and managing with it as well as planning to quit it. They do it to discourage others who have interest in it because they either felt it will reduce their chances of success (competition mentality) or to want to be the only one who have that privilege among his circle or to prevent spoilers as they sometimes put it. |
| Romance › Re: Olosho Has Taken My Glory by Stevenbright(m): 11:24am On May 21, 2023 |
ChildOfDoom:
it makes me always broke, then negative thoughts come in
Then 'see finish' occurs too.
When Olosho see me in my street, they become chatty. This makes people around gossip me, considering my class and I stooped low
But I can't afford a girlfriend with needs/demands. Not having a fancy life too to approach one
Addictions generally are bad. Betting, women, drugs, dinks etc. One has to look for positive addictions to substitute them Look for positive ones then to substitute the negative ones. |
| Family › Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Stevenbright(m): 10:02pm On May 17, 2023 |
thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not. Find a way to reach out to her. Tell her the frequency of her coming was the issue not her coming at all. That you will be fine with it if she makes it occasional as that will make a fun and enjoyable visit for all of you. |
| Agriculture › Re: Multi-million Dollar Coconut Plantation Destroyed In Akwa Ibom – Gov Emmanuel by Stevenbright(m): 4:14pm On May 17, 2023*. Modified: 12:00pm On May 25, 2023 |
😁 |
| Family › Re: How Do I Save My Marriage by Stevenbright(m): 6:10am On May 16, 2023 |
promisedwealth:
Good morning Great people and wonderful family, please just like the saying a problem shared it's a problem half solved.
I av been married to my wife for over 6years now we av been through all together we have two kids 4 and a year old my business since late 2021 has been rough I lost some money trying out a different business I'm based in the eastern part of the country. Early last year my mother in law told my wife to come stay with her in Lagos till I can find my self again, they left imo to Lagos on feb. 2022 I have been I contact with them ever since sending money across also it happen that my wife started bringing the idea of myself joining over there in Lagos ( my in law has a little school in Lagos that has been where my wife has been teaching since she left) concerning the relocation I told her it's not easy as I have to look for money to get accommodation, shop to start a business also the money will be much which I can't afford for now during someday last year I told her to come back during one of our discussion she told me she it's not coming to east again I got angry. I noticed the mother will never allow her leave her school so I kept mute about coming back since I was neither ready yet do we kept on going no issues. Just this april she changed hardly pick my call stop calling me by the pet name she does I tried to find out what happened she told me she wanted a break between I was confused I guested why she came up with she needs to seek and know if it's the will of God for our union that's after two kids , I was lost also I have tried to restore this woman sanity since then till now I have spoken to the mother she it's not saying anything than what ever she decides it's best for her the only once telling me not to worry at the brothers but I'm worried honesty I don't want my kids to grow in different homes I also tried to make her see this same reason she told me the kids will be fine she's not looking at anything making her decision please I need advise it's my wife under a spell or what I don't want to raise ny kids this way please advice please.... She doesn't want you again. And it is clear she is already seeing another man. So, move on. Work things out for yourself and up your game. With time, go and get your children and give them the best you can in life. |
| Family › Re: She Barely Cooked For Me But She Was Hailing Hilda by Stevenbright(m): 11:37am On May 15, 2023 |
Savechild23:
I don’t want to have a failed marriage Do have "pass" marriage ooo. To be sincere with you ehn, she knows what she is doing. But make your displeasure known to her and inform her you want her to wakeup to her responsibilities because you are tired of eating outside or doing the cooking if she is still interested in the marriage. Otherwise, when you change your mind, there will be no going back. |
| Food › Re: Hilda Baci Breaks Guinness World Record For Longest Cooking Marathon by Stevenbright(m): 9:57am On May 15, 2023 |
Congratulations |
| Family › Re: Advice Me Please. I Want To Marry Her But Discovered That by Stevenbright(m): 6:41am On May 15, 2023 |
lovediehatelive:
I met this pretty homely girl sometimes ago.
She was reluctant the first time I toasted her and won't want to date me. However, I persisted till she succumbed.
She's everything I want in a lady. She didn't want to visit me when we started dating until one day I promised that I won't touch her.
She visited and was so graceful that I thanked the heavens for sending my soul mate to me.
We discussed a bit and I made her feel comfortable because she was really uneasy.
As promised, I didn't touch her. She felt so free that she rested her head on my chest.
The urge to kiss her became so strong, but I resisted.
What's the use of spoiling things now when she can be mine forever?
She later left and we became really close from then.
I was happy because she's madly beautiful yet so down to earth.
I was thinking she is a virgin but I needed to clarify.
So one day, I used talk to bring talk and stylishly told her a bit about some rough life of my past for her to feel uncomfortable.
She later opened up to me about her first kiss and how the guy went on to have sex with her even though he promised her nothing will happen.
She was 19 years then.
Since then she stopped visiting guys and is no longer in contact with the guy.
She swore that she hasn't kissed or had sex since then.
Now she's 23.
The thing is I really deeply love this girl because she's just exactly what I needed. But I promise myself that I will marry a virgin and nothing else.
My love for this girl is beginning to affect my thinking.
Should I ditch her and keep looking for a virgin?
Or should I continue with her?
I'm planning to see her people this December. Virginity is not the key. The things you should consider are: 1. Her character 2. Her values (what she stands for with respect to important principles and issues of life) 3. Her present sexual life as this can tell of her future sexual life (Can she be royal, committed and contented with you) 4. Financial discipline 5. Respect for self (herself), you and your family |
| Family › Re: What Is Your Advice To Those Getting Ready For Marriage by Stevenbright(m): 7:24pm On May 13, 2023 |
Think twice about who you choos as your partner.
Don't let the physical outlook of the person deceive you, character and values is the key! |
| Family › Re: I Feel So Cheated By My Girlfriend by Stevenbright(m): 3:57pm On May 13, 2023 |
Lifeinbits:
Recall in my previous threads about my girlfriend getting her visa and how she doesn't want me to go with her as F2.
So she got her visa and I told my babe that we should go to the registry so that my mind can be at rest that I have someone that i can call my own that was how my babe said she's not going to the registry because of PR in Yankee that if she's married to me it will be difficult for her because the easiest way to get a pr is to marry a citizen over there. I don't understand why my girlfriend will want to do that and I'm suggesting that she can go for Ph.D but she's just adamant.
Guys what do think i should do A girl told you she wants to get married over there and you are still here asking what you should do? Ok, she don reget you and you need to just move on... |
| Family › Re: I Mistakenly Impregnated My Troublesome Baby Mama by Stevenbright(m): 10:01am On May 13, 2023 |
Juliearth:
I don't support polygamy, but this right here is what op must do. After making her a baby mama for the second time, op has reduced her market value to nothing. Thus. He must marry her. Op must face and bear the brunt of his mistakes this time around. He did it the first time and got away with it, so why wouldn't he again? Very irresponsible and Immature of him. Spreading his seeds like tuface and David. Ya |
| Family › Re: I Had Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Stevenbright(m): 12:12pm On May 12, 2023 |
VTJN:
you have a good point. Getting him a small bus would have been better for him but i don't think Op family has the power. Op work in pure water factory as a graduate while his 38 years old brother is out of job. I'm sure they would have done that since if it's something they can afford. They can help look out for and talk to people who either have Keke nappep they can give out on agreement to him or someone who can buy and give it to him on agreement to work with. |
| Family › Re: I Mistakenly Impregnated My Troublesome Baby Mama by Stevenbright(m): 12:06pm On May 12, 2023 |
Fabulozz:
As titled above. I made the worst mistake in my life impregnating my baby mama for the second time. She and her mother had given me so much trouble in the past. I don't even know what came out of me to start sleeping with her again. Boom she is pregnant and has refused to abort. She want me to pay her brideprice or else she will tell my wife. If only I had control my manhood I would have not found myself in this terrible situation. What should I do now mature advice please? You have a wife at home and went ahead to father a baby outside with another woman and now she is pregnant with a second child for you. Please go ahead and do what she suggested that is formalizing marriage with her as a legal second wife. |
| Family › Re: I Had Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Stevenbright(m): 11:52am On May 12, 2023 |
DownTime44:
you're right. He's fund of boasting of that. He doesn't even have the liscence to drive You guys should support him to get the license and in getting a vehicle to start driving. It is even preferable if you guys to the line of getting a Keke nappep because it is more profitable and easy to maintain and may not strictly require a license since he will not be plying major roads. He just need to drive responsibly and carefully and stay away from drugs and alcohol. |
| Crime › Re: Oba Adewale Sunday Boboye Jailed For 10 Years For Damaging Church Properties by Stevenbright(m): 8:27am On May 12, 2023 |
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| Family › Re: I Had Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Stevenbright(m): 7:28am On May 12, 2023*. Modified: 11:44am On May 12, 2023 |
DownTime44:
Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother? You are not wrong! As a bus conductor, if he can drive, you guys should help get a car or bus that he can be driving no matter the agreement. And you will be surprised at the level of change in his life in few months from now. If he can't drive, let him go and learn how to drive instead of the bus conductor thing and then you guys will work out my first advice above once he is through learning. There is money in transportation business and that can change his life for good even though he appears to be unambitious. |
| Career › Re: My Secretary's Resignation Without Notice Is Crumbling My Company by Stevenbright(m): 1:10pm On May 10, 2023 |
concho:
When I took over as a director in our company , I noticed that the company’s Secretary is a chronic liar
Most excuses she gives to avoid coming to work always seem like lies to me . But I couldn’t confront her since I don’t have proves .
Today her mum is very sick, tomorrow her dad is about dying .
I also noticed that she doesn’t do her jobs ( financial recordings ) . She is always sleeping at work and says she is sick when confronted .
We started looking for replacements , but I noticed also that she discourages everyone that wants to work .
On Thursday, she said her dad was dead and would be Buried on Saturday . I granted her a leave between Thursday and Saturday and I conclude that I must find her village and attend the burial without telling her .
On getting to her village , I discovered that there was no burial and the parents she constantly used as excuse died years ago
I sent her video I made in her village only for her to tell me that she won’t come to work again .
She handed nothing over to the company . She didn’t provide details of the transactions she did in the previous weeks .
I asked her details of the companies transactions during the Naira scarcity , she refused to come bring these things .
This resignation would take us one year backwards in other to sort her stuffs out. She handed over to no one
If I let her go free , other workers would emulate her .
How do I start nailing her please ?? She has no record to handover to anyone because she iS incompetent in handling her duties. Hire a competent replacement and also ensure you do your oversight function on supervising her adequately. |
| Family › Re: I Keep Seeing Myself Having Lots Of Hair In The Dream. Who Knows The Meaning? by Stevenbright(m): 8:50am On May 10, 2023 |
White garment church prophet or rastafarian/reggae mastreo loading! |
| Agriculture › Re: Training/rearing Of Goats, Dogs & Pigs, Which Is Cheaper & More Profitable? by Stevenbright(m): 4:24pm On May 09, 2023 |
Goats |
| Politics › Re: Anambra Workers Observe Monday Sit-At-Home, Ignore Governor Soludo by Stevenbright(m): 6:43am On May 09, 2023 |
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| Computers › Re: Digital Book Formatting Services by Stevenbright(op): 3:36pm On May 08, 2023*. Modified: 3:51pm On May 08, 2023 |
Book writing, let your book research ideas remain at that level and it should only act as a guide to you.
Hence, never copy and paste any part of it into your book project content. This can lead to plagiarism issues during the publishing process of the book most especially through Amazon KDP. And if you can't defend it, it can lead to the termination of your publishing account. |
| Literature/Writing Ads › Re: Proofreading Reading Services by Stevenbright(op): 3:36pm On May 08, 2023*. Modified: 3:54pm On May 08, 2023 |
Book writing, let your book research ideas remain at that level and it should only act as a guide to you.
Hence, never copy and paste any part of it into your book project content. This can lead to plagiarism issues during the publishing process of the book most especially through Amazon KDP. And if you can't defend it, it can lead to the termination of your publishing account. |
| Literature › Re: Digital Publishing by Stevenbright(op): 3:35pm On May 08, 2023*. Modified: 3:52pm On May 08, 2023 |
Book writing, let your book research ideas remain at that level and it should only act as a guide to you.
Hence, never copy and paste any part of it into your book project content. This can lead to plagiarism issues during the publishing process of the book most especially through Amazon KDP. And if you can't defend it, it can lead to the termination of your publishing account. |
| Computers › Re: Proofreading Reading Services by Stevenbright(op): 3:35pm On May 08, 2023*. Modified: 3:50pm On May 08, 2023 |
Book writing, let your book research ideas remain at that level and it should only act as a guide to you.
Hence, never copy and paste any part of it into your book project content. This can lead to plagiarism issues during the publishing process of the book most especially through Amazon KDP. And if you can't defend it, it can lead to the termination of your publishing account. |
| Family › Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Stevenbright(m): 11:53am On May 08, 2023 |
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.
So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought. Continue this way and regret badly later! |
| Family › Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Stevenbright(m): 11:44am On May 08, 2023 |
Bhus21:
This would be easy to do if we didn't spend over 10 years together and have 3 young kids. Take custody of your children. And peaceably separate from her as soon as possible for the sake of your mental/emotional health which can lead to physical illness in the long run. |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Am I Offending God? by Stevenbright(m): 12:08pm On May 07, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:
Offend God in what particular way? Why would you think God is bothered by you and your life choices??  You are offending yourself and your boss. That is why your conscience is already judging you and in turn you are building up a very bad character in you. God is just a witness and you will give account of yourself to him at the right time. |
