₦airaland Forum

sonjohn994:
Hello Everyone, Please I need your help, I have been having been depressed and Hypertensive all because of this issue. Please I will appreciate if I can get help from here before I die in silent .

My Ex wife packed out 2019 when we hard misunderstanding and she took my 2 kids with her, since then have not set my eyes on them.
We talked on phone for some time while I kept begging her to give me the opportunity to at least contribute to their upbringing of my children. But to my greatest surprise all her family disagreed and asked her to relocate and change number. All the family that I have their numbers did the same by changing their lines too. I have not been a happy man since then.

Please I will appreciate if anyone can link me up to any organization that can help me. The last family I spoke to did not change line, She only blocked me and she is the one I have been sending money to until I requested to see them. She said if I cant stop asking to see them I should stop sending the money . and i have to stop sending money into her account.

Please Nairalander Help a Brother.my Investigation trace them to IBAFO. The woman owns a school around the area and they attend her school. Please anyone that can help to link me to right Authority should pls help.

Thank you and God bless

You are most likely not the biological father of those children for them to give you such conditions.

How will allow someone else to make your life miserable as this? Move on already since you have tried to be a responsible father to those children but she and her family are not cooperating.

Failure2019:
So my 14 year old cousin told me that she's a lesbo. Tbh I'm glad she thought I was someone who she could trust but I'm a bit worried about her. I feel like I should tell her parents about it. She specifically told me that she doesn't want her parents to know. All of our parents are somewhat strict but I don't want any fingers to be pointed at me if something went wrong. So I'm thinking I should tell them. BUT I won't be surprised if they tried to do something like taking her to a pastor . I'm conflicted about this. I'm not really upto snuff about LGBT stuff either.

Ask her some important questions. Her response to them will determine if she actually knows what she is talking about.

1. What is the subject matter about?
2. How did she come to the conclusion of being a lesbi?
3. What experience or circumstances influenced her decision?
4. Does she have a lesbipartner? If yes, are they already sexually active?
5. Is this issue having any mental or psychological effects on her in any way?

Her responses to the above questions will determine your next line of action. Ensure you find out from her response that she knows what the subject matter is all about.

She might just be saying that ignorantly because she heard, read or watched something about it.

If she knows what she is talking about and already engaging in the associated acts, then you have a lot of work to do to disabuse her mind and counsel her to stop it.

If just saying it as result of media or other forms of influence that is yet to crystalized into action, then you just have to tell her to take her mind of it and of sex generally to focus on her studies as is too young for that.

Fuckyoumod:
Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I used to hear that married women from Edo state can never cheat on their spouse due to their strong traditional inclinations.

As doing so would bring untold and instant death or madness to the woman.

Abi all this stories from Edo State na wash?

Big wash!

NotAMan:
This marriage is shaking and life-threatening at the same time.

The last employed job I had was in a private firm which I got affected by downsizing.

Pending when I will land a good job, these days, I do house and property agent. I also do menial jobs sometimes just to eck a living. Sometimes it takes long before I seal a deal. The last money I made was just something above 50k which I handed over 80% of the money to her for family upkeep and other expenses. She's pregnant with our first child and misbehave a lot.

And now her mother is sick and she wants to travel and as I don't have the 30k to give to her, only to come back yesterday and saw my boxers burnt in anger. Over 10 boxers? And she's even telling me this is just to warn me against the future and I'm becoming very afraid of her. If I have the money, would I want her not to travel to see her sick mother when i know health issue is a matter of life and death?

Also, she's teaching in a private school and complaining of the school owing salary.

This woman is making me shed tears and becoming afraid of her at the same time. I have never beaten, talk bad or hurt her in anyway and she shouldn't push me.

Now that she has burnt my boxers, who knows what next? I am even afraid of my life.

What should I do?

You will be surprised that the complain of her not being paid in her work place is possibly a lie to avoid supporting the home with her money since you are currently jobless and hustling.

You have to pay close attention to really get to know the person you are dealing with.

Also be watchful for your own safety!

Goat meat any day..

Kanixt:
"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward?"

Make sure you have the screenshot of those messages sent to your phone as evidence.

It doesn't matter where and how you got the info but wether they are true or not. So, stand for yourself and do what please you in this matter.

Offpointng:
The rate of Single women in Nigeria now, esp women of a marriageable age is quite sickening and depressing. Even among adolescent female of age 21 downwards. And with this pride/shakara they've got, lot of em fail to understand time is not on their side cuz even as a grown man, what would make me ask a lady of 30+ out? What??

No more elections to rig, madam want to start rigging relationships.....

The normal quantity of food as though you are going to pick the child up after normal school closing time.

Then make up for the extended time by adding Snacks, Fruits and soft Drinks.

jade001:
I'll try to make this as simple as possible!

1. Fast forward after doing my background check very well. I discovered she had actually slept with SEVEN( Two married, 1 single father, 2 single guys and 2 FWB) within 21/2yrs of divorce(alot for me to handle though)


2. My second issue with her is she is too aggressive.

3. She and her family also wants me to keep and take care of her child, when the father is hale and hearty and balling. The guy is always facetiming the child, but when is time for responsibilities, he comes up with different excuses, obviously he has the money, but only playing smart.

You know these three things and you are asking for other people's opinions on what to do! The joke is on you.

Fineman2:
Story of the day;

I have always defended my wife despite knowing that she is the one with fertility issues.

How true is this! If you are certain about this, and she is also the one rejecting adoption plan, then she is on a mission to destroy you.

You have to save yourself and your family from her evil intentions by showing her the way out. The earlier the better.

LaughterLA:
Its not only Obi
They removed Tinubu, Atiku and host of others

They no pay shishi

Sunshinehappy:
That’s the problem, no father figure. My dad passed away since 2012. My sister and I have been together since then. No uncle or if there is an uncle then we don’t really know him. My mom tried introducing us to a family man that we can take as an uncle or elder family person but my sister said she doesn’t see any other person as her father apart from our dad. She doesn’t have a friend or husband that I can at least explain to. She’s always indoors. She doesn’t regard anyone as an elderly family person.

She has emotional issues.

The lack of job (finance), friends, and significant other is the reason for her behavior.

If possible, help her find a job by recommendation in her areas of interest or training and if possible a significant other too by match making/recommendation.

And you will see a great change in no distance time.

ibechris:
Pray make ur pray penis no destroy u quick.

I expected u to be overwhelmed by what lies ahead.

Life of after NYSC,employment or business which one?

The girl is not even a working class or graduate like u.

In fact,do u want to drag yourself back?

Listen to this....

Yugoslavia247:
Peter Obi is still my president.

No matter what.

And for a record if you support BAT.

I am sure you have tendency to crime.

Just like all supporters of Obi have tendency to be saints infact, they are saints!

Majority of us are typical hypocrites and clowns.

Someone asked me how he can be a "Best Selling" Author on Amazon Kindle direct publishing (kdp) and this was my reply:

1. Write a good book
2. Professionally edit it
3. Professionally proofread it
4. Professionally format it into ebook and paperback editions and publish both at the same time.
5. Design a professional book cover for it
6. Promote it using AMS or any other paid book marketing services and
7. Be consistent. Write and publish more good book.

Guess what! If you can do these things, you will surely be glad you did because you will get the desired results.

Someone asked me how he can be a "Best Selling" Author on Amazon Kindle direct publishing (kdp) and this was my reply:

1. Write a good book
2. Professionally edit it
3. Professionally proofread it
4. Professionally format it
5. Design a professional book cover for it and
6. Promote it using AMS or any other paid book marketing services.

Guess what! If you can do these things, you will surely be glad you did because you will get the desired results.

Obinoscopy:
1. A recruiting firm advertised for a job and people from 36 States and a Territory applied. The recruiting firm was tasked to recruit at least 25% of people from at least two thirds of the States and the Territory. If there are 100 people in each of the States and 120 people from the Territory, what's the minimum number of people the firm should at least employ?

A. 600
B. 620
C. 625
D. 630
E. None of the Above

2. In addition to the requirements above, the recruiting firm was told the Territory is also to be considered as a State. Thus the requirement reads thus: recruit at least 25% of people from at least two thirds of the States and the Territory. And the Territory is to be considered a State. What's the minimum number of people the firm should at least employ?

A. 600
B. 620
C. 625
D. 630
E. None of the Above


Please show your workings. Anyone who shows very clear workings and gets the answer has solved the 25% electoral requirement quagmire that is confusing many people.

The 2023 general elections is not the first election in Nigeria and the FCT has never been attributed with such special deciding status. So, you guys should rest already.

WesternPanzer:
No need of speaking long grammar. I have another formular albeit more straight forward.

(A) To gain admission to UNIZIK, a candidate must score at least C in 6 subjects including Mathematics and English. Even if you scored As in 9 subjects but had Fs in English and Maths, you have failed automatically.

The Admissions board by this demand confers special status on Mathematics and English even though they are still "subjects.

By implication, same situation applies to the 25% requirement in my opinion.

The Constitution by that section granted Special Status to Abuja as the Federal Capital Territory.

As long as Tinubu did not score 25% in Abuja, he is an illegal President Elect. Reason most world leaders are not congratulating him.

Your analogy is outright wrong. Mathematics and English are compulsory in this case because of the use of the word "Including" not "And"

concho:
We started dating when she got admission in 2018. She was a novice and a church girl then .
There was nothing like intimacy till 2021 and that was when I deflowered her ,

Since I promised my self that I must marry who ever I deflowered , I started taking care of some parts of her needs hoping that I will get financially stable and settle down with her .

She was the type of girl that everyone assumed to be an angel . I trusted her more than anything on earth .

She is too jealous that she suspects that I’m cheating even when I was not . She misinterprets everything an opposite sex sends to me

Fast forward to 2022 . She visited one day and got upset that another girl referred to me as “babe” on chat instead of saying “hi” . I insisted that she brings her own phone so I check if a guy has never called her babe

On getting to her chat , I noticed this guy that she saved as “my favorite” . They had no chats (she deletes everything) . I decided to dig deeper only to find out that this guy has been going to her house (family house ) to sleep with her . It’s not once , it’s not twice . And it was frequent the period she even said I should give her space that they were doing family prayers

The worst is that I told the mum and elder siblings out of anger. They did absolutely nothing . The mum only denied knowing that the guy comes around when everyone is out

A month later, I saw a chat of the mum asking her why she doesn’t pick the guy’s call again . I almost ran mad

She has promised and vouched that she won’t try such again and doesn’t know what came over her her .

I have tried everything possible to forgive her since no one treats me the way she does , but I keep loosing weight and falling sick by day .

I’m currently depressed and don’t know what to do again

You are dating yourself.

Her family members prefer the other guy to you. So, pick your pieces up and move on already!

1. Purpose (living a purposeful life).

2. Self-respect and self-love (knowing that the consequences of the do like STDs, unnecessary expenses ......) are on you not your partner.

3. God's grace

4. Considerations for your love ones.

lexy2014:
What makes you think the story is true?

The story being true or not is actually none of my business. I just felt like sharing my opinion on the issue and that is it.

Pussykills:
I have come to the conclusion that I'm addicted to prostitutes. It started in 2010 when I first slept with a hooker. Its 13yrs now and I still patronise prostitutes. I slept with 155 of them, 55 were without protection.

The problem right now is that I don't have that much feelings for the new girl I'm dating. Since she's been in my life I have been able to stop but I noticed my soul still longs to experience that feeling of getting high and banging a hoxx.

In fact, I'm thinking if ending this relationship should be my next line of action.

This is not the first time, my past relationships ended because the feelings weren't there.

What would you suggest? Does sleeping with many partners make one loose the feeling of love? I don't get it, I can't even love, it's not just there.

You need to ask yourself some soul searching questions and some of them are:

1. Is the habit of wasting my life taking substances to engage with the so-called holes to my best interest?

2. Does it in any way contribute to fulfilling my life goals and objectives?

3. Is this the way I intends to continue to drift through life until I exit this world?

4. Is this my habit having mental, psychological and physical negative effects on me, if yes, don't I deserve to treat myself better?

5. Will my life be better of if I am able to overcome this habit of mine?

6. What then can I do to save myself from this self-destructive habit?

My opinion on point 6 is that you look yourself in the mirror and make up your mind to get over the habit because it is not to your good rather it is destroying you. The healing starts from the mind reason why you need to carry out this procedure.
Confess to your present girl if you really like her and let her become your accountability partner as you undergo this healing process.

theamazonguru:
Nothing is impossible.
This is a possibility.

Things are really happening.

Ya

You were earning 75,000 naira and normally give her 40,000 naira for upkeep.

She works too as a private school teacher but you don't know how much she earns which means she didn't tell you and hence not even open about her finances and she has mind to be angry at you who is open about your finances and giving a moderate sum to the home considering your earning power!

You were not miss using the rest of your funds as you saved a part of it and probably used some to meet your personal effects and transportation fares.

You have not done anything wrong but next time maybe you can be more open by clarifying what your remaining funds is meant for and also demand to know her financial status.

Again, she realizing that after the lost of your job, your savings came in handy should have made her to respect and regard your stand and opinions if she actually loves you.

But for now, focus on yourself, finish your skill acquisition, launch a career on the acquired skills and work at it to regain your lost time and finances. After which, you can decide if you still want her or someone else.

A teaser--- "What if she is with another man right now"?

edoncast:
In all these sa ,i will still love to marry her cos i still love her but i also love my new girl .She is the best thing that i have ever happened to me this year .She is a good girl and if my ex stays too late to come back ,i will marry my new girl this year .She is almost through in school .Just a session left for her in school.

My ex lack of patience and ability to think freely without her relative bad input caused her all these

You are a confused soul and you have a long way to go. How can you say you still love to marry her while at the same time professing same love to your new girl.

You are even waiting for the so called ex to come back so that you can discard the new one. You are truly women time waster and wicked!

sunsweet33:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, hope you are all fine. I hope you guys can help me with some suggestions on what to do about this. I’m sorry for the long post but I need to pour everything here because I’m getting frustrated.

I rent one of the rooms in a large building with many other tenants and the landlord was living in one of them with his wife. I chose this place because people just go to work, come back and mind their business for the most part. It is also in a good location in terms of getting to work et cetera. At least, as a woman it’s good to live close to work, market, and other places in case I need to come back late and to minimise the risk of accidents or harassment’s.

There is no expectation for tenants to socialise however He is a kind of person who likes to strike up conversation. While I am an introvert. For example if he sees you preparing something in the kitchen he might ask about it and such. Though I prefer to just cook my food in silence and listen to my phone, I didn’t mind the conversation and I know it’s polite to at least exchange a few words with people that you live with.

But recently it’s becoming quite bothersome. The man started having issues with his wife and anytime he sees any of us in the kitchen will start telling us about all the details which at the beginning, I sympathised with. But the conversation quickly became improper. Like he was telling me that his wife has changed since she started going through menopause and other extremely personal things. How can you be discussing such a thing with a tenant who just came to cook noodles? Wtf.

Another time I was making my lunch to take to work and he came asking me to tell his wife not to raise his voice to him, which of course I refused because it’s not my business to appeal to his wife for him. And so many other things have happened in between but to cut a long story short, they have now separated and madam is no longer living with us. She had her own funny characters sometimes but at least she mostly allowed us to go about our business in peace. Now that he’s alone I guess maybe he is bored or something.

In addition to this, the man no longer keeps regular working hours. Before, if I was off from work I would simply wait until around 10 o’clock when the house was empty, go to the kitchen, relax and cook enough food for the week knowing roughly who will be inside on what day and what time they will be back, including the landlord. But now, even if he’s gone in the morning he will most probably reappear after a couple of hours and catch you in the kitchen and start one strange talk again. As I said I know that some people are just lively, extroverted and all that but isn’t that what friends and relatives are for? Can’t he call some of them and leave me alone?

Even just to wash my plate or use microwave has become something else. We have a few troublesome tenants and instead of him to hurry up and evict them he will be complaining the same complain he has been complaining for months now and giving me running commentary on the whole thing. It’s good to be updated on what’s going on but it has crossed over from update to just talking for the sake of it. I just want to wash my plate and go back to my room 😫

As I’m talking to you now I am nursing a ghastly headache that I have had for the past 2 days, why? Because I have been wasting money eating one junk or another, not because there’s no gas for cooking but because Im afraid to risk going to the kitchen. Like I don’t know what to do. The man is already perching in the kitchen right now and as soon as anybody comes back from work he will start talking about something that doesn’t make sense.

I think the other people have noticed it too because they kinda rush their cooking and don’t stop to talk like before. But I don’t like rushing my food and cooking is like a succour or therapy for me.

I know people will suggest that I just move but it’s not as simple as that. I have been enjoying the house so far, I just need some ways to nip this overfamiliarity in the bud without being rude. Or maybe I need to start acting more rude because there’s only one kitchen and I need to use it. I don’t want to fall sick eating outside rubbish food and my throat is already feeling dry.

Though it often offends people and has caused me problems in the past but I’m still thankful that I’m an introvert and I’m comfortable being alone. Cos I can’t imagine not being able to stay 2 minutes without going about disturbing people all the time. Is it how he will be capturing people in conversation every day? Haaa!

Biko you people should help me, I don’t need this rubbish please

Cook in your room

Ken4Christ:
Prof, the English is simple. It is implied. Besides, a precedent has been set on the same judgment. And it is the practice of law to follow precedents.

Let me help Mr Prof with this simple example;

If the demand to read Medicine in school says that you must have credit in Physics, Chemistry, Biology, English and Mathematica, Prof is demanding it should read, credit in Physics, credit in Chemistry, credit in Biology, credit in English and credit in Mathematica.

I think the title of this Prof should be taken from him.

I doubt if he had credit in English language in his WEAC result.

Please help me to interpret this your scenario!

And then replace the "and," with "or" and also interpret it. So we can see the difference or the relationship between the two.

Onetenth:
I was born into a polygamous home, hell I saw growing up. I have once created a thread on that with my former moniker. Infact the thread hit Frontpage few weeks ago

Secondly, my parent didn't take my education serious while growing up, especially my tertiary education.

Lastly, while growing up mom can swear ehn! Those things I guess are telling on me now

You need to change your mindset.

Nobody can do you except you! Your mind is your greatrst asset and you need to use it positively.

You need to develop a positive mental attitude which you currently lack!

I suggest you read up some of Napoleon Hill books most especially "Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude" , "Outwitting The Devil" and "Think and Grow Rich".

I have the PDF editions of these books and you can drop your email and I will send them to you if interested.

UncleSuru:
We were colleagues.
She's obese.
She's older than I am.
She got pregnant for me.
I accepted.
She had a boy.
I told her I wanted the baby and not marriage and she accepted.

She got a job and she's taking good care of my boy even as I perform my responsibilities: feeding, school fees and all.

It hurts me that we don't stay together. I go to see my boy and I wish to stay longer. I really want to bond with my boy.

This lady is okay aside the obesity and the age factor. She doesn't even argue with me and we're cool. She'll be proud to show me to her people as a young man but I'm not proud to show her to my own people because she looks twice my age. She's my best friend. None of those young girls can stand her in terms of character. I really wish I can love her. It hurts more having that thought of having children with different women. It really hurts.

Will she give you peace, will she be a source of inspiration for your success, will she continue to regard and respect you in marriage?

These are what matters most! For the fact that you had a thing with her that results to child birth probes that you can love her if you really want to.

Just tell her she owns her life/body and and can do what ever she wants with it.

You should also totally cut all connections with her because she is not worth it.

If you go ahead to marry her, she will either leave you in the slightest difficulties or stay while going out with other men. This will break you and finish you!