₦airaland Forum

Good answers so far.

poster, you should have put it in a better way: encourage parents to send you to your doom

ifyalways:
^Ori eja and his using question to answer questions tactis.@Topic its wrong.Assuming asking nicely wont work,when u take be kind enough to inform him before he steps out of the house.I prefer asking nicely or taking it from him using feminine powers.Besides if u keep taking without asking,one day he might be forced to start hiding his wallet. . .that wont be nice at all

Right on point.

It's wrong to take his money without his permission, except if he's not there and you truly need the money urgently. In that case, ensure you tell him ASAP.

story, story. I saw a movie yesterday where there're triplets who never knew one another until one of them was about getting married. It's possible but rare.

You'll begin to get to know each other, perhaps start off as new friends and take it up from there.

But sorry, it can't happen to me. Twin ke? for where?

bdidi:
If the man decides to send his wife packing because of this act,what then happens to their first child? then if the child grows up and later learns he is a product of a broken home. What will be the explanation to him? Tell him his mother committed an adultry and got herself pregnant? Because after all this, it is the children that suffers the emotional problem when they grow old. Marriage is not a very easy thing to manage if you don't invite God to be the head of the home. In this case, i will advise him to take this to the LORD in prayer just because of the first child. Any other contrary opinion?

And what exactly is going to be the prayer point here? Why do we just deceive ourselves with prayer prayer?

So because the children shouldn't suffer the man should keep an adultrerous wife? This is really annoying. An adulterous woman does not deserve to be married. She should be kicked out asap. And she was even so foolish to get herself pregnant! OMG. Am angry. In fact, I'm boiling. Not at the OP but at the above quote.

Lagosboy:
Seems this thread is about to die, i just remembered it today and would like to ressurect it as it is probably my only thread in this section  .

Sisters in the house help yourselves and benefit each other by advice, question , answers etc.

May Allah make us all better muslims filled with his taqwa and eeman.

Oya, start another thread on 'Brothers discuss issues . . . '

toba:
Mukina2 my favourite
Olabowale
nopuqeater
Abuzooooooooooooooooooooola
Mushin
Chakula
Zayhal even though she doesnt like me

Neither do I hate you.

Muhsin not mushin That name is too good to be mis-spelt._{[sub] Is there any word like that?}[/sub]

misterh:
When i saw the topic, the first person that came to my mind was Olabowale. He is truly a legend. May ALLAH bless him.

Amin

Atreides:
We do,though not that much. There've been network problems all over the place. I've called at least once every day snce she left-just to see how things are. Even when we do talk,she definitely didn't tell me she's having/might be having an abortion. I've made a decision,though.

I thought you could get to know what she's up to via the phone.

So what's your decision now?

It's special for only couples who'll be having intimacy with each other for the 1st time time.

Someone asked where is your dad, you haven't answered. Why aren't you in school or working? What help do you need exactly?

ifyalways:
deleted.

What is deleted?

azharuddin:

It is reported from Hazrat Abu Huraira ( R.A. ) that Rasulallah ( S.A.W. ) has said that : " Whoever recites Suratul-Ham-Mim Dukhan on Friday, ( the night between Thursday and Friday ) enjoys the prayer of 70,000 angels for his forgiveness and gets all sins forgiven."
[at-Tirmidhi]

Ok. Thanks. I'll check it out.

babs787:
@Zayhal

Salam wonderful sister. You are very correct. I am always around at times but response are being provided before I could send mine and I would just keep reading posts but come in when need arises which could also be termed that I am very active in some posts but inactive in some, due to what I said above.

Jazakhallah for your observation and may Allah continue to be with you and your household.

Masha Allah.

Amin. And yours too.

Just don't want you to take a walk the way daddy Olabowale did.

Atreides:
I want to remain positive though. I don't know for a fact that she got an abortion. She might have truly gone to visit an aunt,and until she tells me otherwise,then that's what i'll believe.

Don't you guys communicate through phone?

uplawal:
Also wanna ask my muslim brothers and sisters,

Why do some muslimas particularly the ones that wear flowing black gown,always dnt care about inpurities/dirty getting in the clothes,simply based on a hadiths that says,women gown can  be so long,even if it sweeps ground if it can.
How do we get rid of dog wee,and other disgusting inpurity off thier clothes,cos to me the hadith is contradictory to the Quran,cos the Quran says about we should purified garment,meaning,we should not wear dirty cloths and not spiritual garment o,pls can you shed more light pls.

There's another hadith that says that if your long flowing gown comes across filth, as you keep walking, you'll encounter another part of the earth that is clean, thus the clean earth cleanses away the earlier dirt.

That is not to say, IMO, that if you pass by a filthy area, you shouldn't raise your gown a bit to avoid soiling it.

These are little matters that shouldn't cause any issues. The most important thing is that we should be well covered so as not to expose the awrah.

ifyalways:
wow,
The first time my husband talked to me abt movies and TV programmes i watch,i was like wtf is wrong with this man.He went to Hajj and brought me lots of audios and dvd's and im loving it and asking for more.
I have in my collection :life of the last prophet,Paradise found,30 days as a muslim,The Hajj: One American's Pilgrimage to Mecca etc.My boys have and enjoy "Muhammad: The Last Prophet" cartoon.
I still do watch the normal TV .

I've seen most of those videos you mentioned Ify. Let's say I'm not just a TV person. Even before I became really conscious of Islam, I didn't really fancy watching TV. But when I learn of a good video, I watch them, on my PC. I guess my lifestyle also contributes, there's hardly room for TV. I spend my spare time here. LOL.

Before reading what you wrote, the 1st person that came to my mind was Olabowale. Sincerely. I wish he were still around.

olabowale:
@Poster: You should keep quite. Salah is a conversation with Allah. Allah says in the Qur'an; when you hear the recitation of Qur'an, keep quite, listen so that you may be guided. And remember that Allah forbids talking in Salah. Read surah Muminun.

There are is an ahadith where it is reported that people should keep quite in three places; in salah is one of them. The others are in battle front, so tht your enemies do not know where you are ( The Kufar has taken up this very sunnah from the Mslims). The last is when attending a janazah, in order to reflect about your own soul!

We have missed Baba Olabowale here. But it seems i'm seeing a kind of reflection of him in Sweetnecta. anyone feel same?

@All

Barka Jum'a (belated)

@babs

You're really scarce these days.

@Azharudin

i'm learning of reciting suratu-Dhukhan (on Friday) for the first time. i'm used to Kaf. Could you please supply proof for this? Jazakumullah khayran.

ronkeenuf:
You may have read this story before here http://www.islamcan.com/youth/the-stranger.shtml, I thought I should post here for those who haven't:


The Stranger


"A few months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small Tennessee town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer, and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later.

As I grew up I never questioned his place in our family. In my young mind, each member had a special niche. My brother, Yusuf, five years my senior,was my example. Samya, my younger sister, gave me an opportunity to play 'big brother' and develop the art of teasing. My parents were complementary instructors-- Mom taught me to love Allah, and Dad taught me to how to obey Him. But the stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales. Adventures, mysteries and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our whole family spell-bound for hours each evening. If I wanted to know about politics, history, or science, he knew it.

He knew about the past and seemed to understood the present. The pictures he could draw were so life like that I would often laugh or cry as I watched. He was like a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Yusuf and me to our first major league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies and he even made arrangements to introduce us to several famous people.

The stranger was an incessant talker. Dad didn' t seem to mind-but sometimes Mom would quietly get up-- while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of faraway places-- go to her room, read the Qur'aan.

I wonder now if she ever prayed that the stranger would leave. You see, my dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions. But this stranger never felt obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our house-- not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor,however, used occasional four letter words that burned my ears and made Dad squirm, To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted. My dad was a teatotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home - not even for cooking.

But the stranger felt like we needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often.

He made cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (probably too much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I know now that my early concepts of the man-woman relationship were influenced by the stranger.

As I look back, I believe it was Allah's Mercy that the stranger did not influence us more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents. Yet he was seldom rebuked and never asked to leave. More than thirty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive.

He is not nearly so intriguing to my Dad as he was in those early years. But if I were to walk into my parents' den today, you would still see him sitting over in a corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name you ask?

We called him TV.

It makes you think, doesn't it,

How come I missed this before now?

Ronke, jazakumullah khayran.

@topic

The evil of TV is undoubtedly more than its gains, especially for the young children. To some, it seem to be a necessary evil, something one can't do without. I've not had a Tv set in my home for the past six years, and I'm yet to feel the disadvantage of it.

rokiatu:
His mom offcourse I'm not even reading what you wrote.

Naturally, one would say the mum should go first, but some things happen that brings about some necessary pondering and considerations.

Like in this brother's case now, when told to take his mum first, he says he'd really love to but that the mother is still lacking in some basic religous fundamentals and he fears that her craving for hajj is not totally out of piety.

I see. That's why a lot of wisdom is needed in handling family issues, DIL, MIL, very delicate lot.

Going to hajj and getting a house. They'll put the poor guy at a loss of which to make higher on the priority list.

Dis Guy:
_{well you know how this mother in laws are like sometimes, though I think she was in the process of getting a house/flat and the son wasn't prioritizing that}

Na wa o. Ilade has turned his thread to something else, from the joke to an advert of himself. Why don't you just stick to topic? YOUR topic.

@topic

If u must say no to your parents, it has to be in a subtle way, and with GOOD reasons too.

Ujujoan:
Me I say NO without feeling somehow oh. If my mum asks me to do something I'm not comfortable with, I'll just say no . . . simples!

Wait till your child will be saying NO to you, then you'll know how it feels. . .

I have received exactly the same e-mail over 10 times. Scammers at work. Just ignore it.

femmy323:
We need to hear both side of the story,

Whatever the other side has to say, it's WRONG for a man to beat his wife like that.

Most parents worry over girls more than they would over boys. So, yes, girls require more attention.

@teslim

Your issue with your wife is more than just annoying. You have some issues you need to sort out as fast as possible. Those things you mentioned could lead to breakup. Work on your marriage please.

queensmith:
hmmmmm with me i can imagine i need a million and one things! money, really good sex!, a very fit husband a very large house in fact my new assignment is a list of 100 things i need in a marriage!

You won't get it all in one man, girlfriend, and probably not even in one marriage.

netotse:
@BB, B_B, Ileke-Idi,T-girl, Zayhal etc
wishing you all a happy new year. . .

@Ileke-idi
where's Sissy? any idea?

Thanks.

olapeju09:
Parents should be the little god of a child. child should be taught humility, knowledge, religion, discipline, uprightness, honesty, faithfulness and contentment among others. parents should be the confidants of the child. mother should spend quality time with the child or else, the society will produce indiscipline children. the money people are running after when they neglect their child will not be useful when they child start to display waywardness, evil and lack of training. May God help us all

Amin.

xoxo, :
Many rich people go for Hajj and Umrah every year. If there is an Islamic backing, then they probably should look into restrictions for crowd control purposes. As per OP i see the issue has been resolved, though personally, i wouldn't mind him taking his mother, as long as he plans to take me as soon as he can afford to [s]and the mother brings me enough tsaraba. [/s]

More opinions are welcome still.

LOL @bold

Dis Guy:
Something similar happend this year, my uncle went with his wife and his dad, though his mother was against him spending the extra to take his wife which i dont understand, to me the dad is very old, not too healthy and has gone before!! some naija families sef


anyway, the man should take his mother then his wife will go some other time (buy her a ticket to Dubai to go shopping instead)

Or Allow his mother and Wife go he will go next time around

I think the Saudi authorities should enforce the ban on people going too often

It'd have been easier to allow the wife and mother go (especially since the brother has once gone) but they'll need a male, a mahram to accompany them.

Btw, in your story above, why should the mother feel that taking the wife to hajj was spending extra?