₦airaland Forum

From the previous thread by the op, I believe her story. But unfortunately, we can't help you. Nigerians are poor and can barely get by. Reuniting you with your husband is the least of our problems. I strongly advice you take the appeal to your own people who will probably have more money to spend on things like this. Sorry about your health challenges.

I know how you feel, especially as you consider yourselves a team. You feel hurt and betrayed. Let me tell you the truth, in life you are on your own. There is a limit to what others can do for you or what others can give you.
Even a little child in kindergarten still has to go to class on his own and write his exams, as a parent you can't do that for him.

Never rely on anyone and never set your expectations high when it comes to others. That's the only way not to ever be shocked or heartbroken. No one owes you anything but yourself. Even we as individuals sometimes fail ourselves.

maya007:
lol I have done all these and even more...lol
The last time I was dere I sat him down and asked him wat d problem was all he said was his always tired after work and prefers to sleep off I also asked y he always sounds different wen we talk on phone but once we see he starts acting strange he said plp respond and show emotions differently (toh) 'wic sounded silly to me'
I dont even want to have sex but just that feeling of being around somone u really like,cuddles holding hands,rough plays,kisses etc....
He would prefer we do all d love on phone but once I mention me coming over its excuses upon excuse till I finally get to go, were in same town but we see just once highest twice in a month...and nothing like this has happened to me before cause am used to guys just always wanting sex but this one is soo annoying that av gotten to the frustration stage already... mayb his not attracted and into me....Thanks for your response!

He'll rather have you as a friend. I'm sorry but he's not sexually attracted to you. I once had a girl I liked. She is really nice and very good company. I always call her to come hang out. We go places, get drinks, food, see movies etc. I was not sexually attracted to her. I don't even think I can get an erection if she's naked. Funny enough, she's good looking but zero sexual attraction and I just kept her as a friend.

Your 'boyfriend ' likes you but not sexually. Even if you somehow manage to have sex, it probably wouldn't make him still be attracted to you. My advice is to move on if it's a relationship you are after. If not, just be friends with him.

I'm actually unpredictable. What can make me flip today, I may just be calm about it tomorrow.
I'm not chatty. I enjoy my own time and company. If you are a talkative, find something else to occupy your time.
I don't enjoy calling. I could drop a message more than I call. A clingy person can't cope with me.

You will enjoy the benefits later. When you are in your 40's, your kids may be graduates, while some of your mates may just then be looking for a wife.

MrBrownJay1:
what woman in her right mind would even value such comedic post....?! even people selling cars give more infos

bro godstime76, here is a clue, before you expect women to possibly think of replying to you, why dont you 1st try to entice them by describing who you are?! make them have a beautiful picture of who you are. you put all these points that you are seeking in a woman yet didnt write shiit about who you are, what you do in life, your body feature (height/weight/complexion etc), character or most importantly why you are still single at 43 (aka the skeleton in your closet).

you dont even have a picture, not even your education background (what are you scared of?), yet you have demands like a CV to join the FBI.... kai!

He has done the right thing, any interested lady should buzz him and she can get more info. Surely, any sensible lady would communicate with him severally before deciding if he's what she wants or not.

themaestro08:
so I am not matured? Bros if tear you slap ehn?

Yes, you are not matured. It's not every topic a kid must comment on. Look for a topic that suits your mental level.

Start preparing her for antenatal.

Harlequeen:
Yes i am. I am feminine, soft, good company, intelligent, just starting out my career, well read and so much more. The man who i end up with will be truly blessed.

Actually, there is a thin line between high self esteem and narcissism. Whilst we think we are the best thing to sliced bread, others may just see us as shíít and avoid us. Learn to be a bit humble, respect all irrespective of whether he is your spec or not.

My elder sister worked in a multinational, was doing good, pretty and all but kept looking for the right man like you. She was very friendly with this semi educated guy who admired her so much. One day he told his cousin about her. He introduced them and he ended up being her dream guy. Even 'fuckboys 'have their purpose.

Do not drop your standards but also realize that sometimes what is good for us is not always what we think is good for us. You are young, don't put pressure on yourself. Just enjoy the company of guys casually. To be honest, I can boldly say you don't understand men yet.

A question to ask is, the people we want, do they want us in return? The best gifts sometimes come in unattractive packages. Stay safe.

osayuwamwen:
u cannot understand I have never been this heartbroken in my own life

Bini boys dey get sense o, why you come be like dis? Ok, so she's cheating. Move on and start again. Not everyone is meant for us.
You are not married and you cannot call family meeting. All you can do is to simply count your losses.

For your information, you are either married or single. When you are not yet married, you cannot go claiming ownership and any partner has the right to change his or her mind the next minute.
You guys should stop carrying relationship matter in your head. A relationship that will work will work, and the one that will not will not. Make yourself happy and with time, 'your own' will come.

emmysolo2001:
he's not really a little boy he's 28.I think he's just being protective

Maturity is not about age or body size. It's about mental development, exposure and orientation.

Relax, it's temporary. You were probably just nervous after abstaining for ages.

Insecurity from your little boy. Anyone dating a bar girl or a waitress or anyone in customer service should better have a thick skin.

What is he receiving? A fóól and his money soon part ways...Prov 21:20.
Tell him to read that passage very well. I hope his parents and siblings are comfortable? If you want to be a philanthropist, start with your family.

Very funny, I don't support slavery. The sister was wrong, so because she's dating your brother she must work against her will. Thank God I don't come from such family. As a man, I would also be insulted if because I'm married to your sister or dating your sister I am compelled to do chores. Get a freaking catering service or hire a slave.

However, as a responsible individual, I would go round and ask if there is anything I can assist them in doing and if there isn't any task I am comfortable with, I will simply stay with the people working rather than to go watch TV.

I agree that showing no interest in what is happening around and offering no assistance is annoying but you don't impose tasks on people you are not close to. If you do that to me, I'll tell you off. F it.

lilwetdick:
but you wrote a list down. a scientific and technical list, it loos like something gotten from the internet

not all women cum from virginal sex and the way you describe it

It's vaginal nor virginal. I hate it when people can't spell vagina properly. Virgin and vagina are two different things. Meanwhile this guy is obviously inexperienced, typical of most guys here who act like they know.

Back to the topic.
Women are also very sensitive at climax. One more thrust gives a tingling sensation. However, I think I have evolved to a stage where after I climax, my sensitivity has reduced and I can keep thrusting till I become flaccid. Previously, after climax, it becomes impossible to continue.

The same way some women may also have the ability to continue even after climax. Surely, different strokes for different folks.

amiibaby:
I submitted a letter in FIRS and the letter was torn by a lady at TPS all because the have a replica of that letter in their file and she is already stamped it and can't release it cos her signature is in it. When I asked her to just cancel her signature and return my letter she insisted on it being destroyed sat on the waiting chair waiting for her to make up her mind all of a sudden she tore the letter right to my face... I left there and came back the following day with a letter copying the regional office the head office the chairman and to whom it may concern within a second all the people in FIRS came including her and was begging me but I didn't bulge I submitted it and emailed the rest... I heard she has been sacked from FIRS.... Its good to know ur onion

Sack? Sorry but government don't sack like that especially for such an offence. She will receive a query and be posted to another unit. Civil service has codes and appropriate punishments. That's not a 'sackable' offense
Anyway, it's good you know your rights, that's how it should be.

I've stopped watching Nigerian movies, if u want drama, just log on to nairaland romance or family section. Everyone wants to test their creative imagination skills

Brainiac12:
Bro don't feel offended
What work you do

This is the reason for the story. A bait to scam you. Better wise up.

If the man and woman can ask these questions and give honest answers, they will be no divorce.
1. Why do I want to get married?
2. Is this person the one I really really want to spend my life with forever?
3. If answer to 2 is yes, then why?
4. Am I ready to go the whole 9 yards for this person?
Truthful and honest answers will set most people free.

J111333:
I don't think I can or will have time to always pay the fees, I reside very far away from them right now.
I thought of stipend but the thought of them depending on it made me had a rethink because I know my cousin.

Look for someone around in the same locality with them that you trust. Let that person handle the 'trust fund' and administer it appropriately.
If you want to help, you must find a way. Please help the kids since you have the means, kids should not have to suffer because their parents are irresponsible.

Too many cooked up stories of late. If someone doesn't trust you, please move on and try and build trust afresh with a new guy.
Once trust is gone it is difficult to get back.

Can you pay the kids fees directly? Since she is your favourite cousin and you seem to have some means, you can also place her on a stipend.

Give birth to children you can afford to take care of. It's always a pride to see your kids turn out well in life.

Don't be pressured into marriage. If you rush in, you will rush out. Be warned.
When a man is ready to get married, nobody will tell him.

Women are interesting creatures. Back in the days, I once had a girl who said I should promise not to ever leave her. I promised her under pressure. Unfortunately she was a handful and I got tired of the relationship.

Since I'm a man who keeps to his words but wanted out, I reduced communication till I finally stopped. She got tired and had to break up herself.

The bottom line is when one party is tired, there's little you can do about it. In other words, you are dating yourself.

You can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl even if it's consensual. Also think of the consequences like getting her pregnant.
Look son, it's not worth it. Do not bow to peer pressure, at the right time you will have lots of sex without needing to come online for people to encourage or discourage you.

Simply because we put ourselves more in harm's way.
Fighting wars, protecting the family.
Engaging in risky behaviours like trying to satisfy multiple women sexually so we can prove our sexual prowess.
Being adventurous, doing more of manual labour etc.
Unfortunately most men want to do what other men do without factoring our own individual health status. Some have weak hearts but still want to do marathon sex and drink gallons of beer.
Women have the easier part of the stick, yet still keep demanding equality. If things are to actually be shared equally, the life span of women will be 21 years...

Modernist:
My mother doesn't have a female child so she sees her as one, and she's nice to my mom she comes to treat my her at home she can possibly do no wrong in her eyes.

Lol, maybe she has been advised by your mum to give you close marking. Mum probably needs a grand kid.

Not everyone is chatty. At the beginning I call multiple times because I'm getting to know you, after a while I go days without calling. I find it tiring to talk on the phone daily, it's like a chore.
Just like the OP, the women start complaining, that I have changed but they wouldn't understand. Not everyone will follow conventions. My advice is you either accept him like that or you call him every day or you dump his ass if it bothers you so much. Whatever you do, never send nudes. You can have sexy pics that isn't nude.

sexycat:
Mind you , i live here and these politicians resigned voluntarily without any coercion or whatsover having failed those who elected them into office.

It's not just a question of failing the electorate, it is a party issue. Yoh are naive not to know you can resign for ethical reasons like immoral sexual acts even though it's done by two consenting adults. Parties have ethics and guidelines. Why should the electorate care about your acts if you are providing services which you were voted for? It's a party issue. Please stick to topics best suited for you.

lahizak:
Waow. U re so daft. Comparing a politician holding a public office, a person voted for to a student of an institution. Bro, u rly need to wise up. The school actually have no right to expel her unless the school prevent there students from having sex completely even when not in school. On this case, its up to the hospital to punish her or not. And believe it or not in as much as d girl is stupid for doing sextape, she is actually a victim.

You are even more unintelligent than I thought. The voters don't have a say in a politicians private life, it's the party that has a right to determine if he has gone against party laws and ethics.
Every member of an organisation is bound by the laws of such organisations. Go and ask adults to enlighten you.

lahizak:
Waow. U re so daft.

At least I'm smarter than your dad.