₦airaland Forum

mrkayusfit:
cc: lalasticlala, mynd44, farano, seun pls help me publicize this on frontpage

Sure, this deserves a FP; 22k and all.

mrkayusfit:
Fellow Nigerians, I am a victim of robbery on Lagos Ibadan express way 2 days ago. Our bus was attacked by 9 fulani men dressed in military uniforms brandishing guns and cutlasses. We were stopped at a sagumu area and every one was robbed and disposessed of every phones, cash and other valuables. it was a terrible experience but i thank God to be alive to tell the story.

So sorry for this sad experience. We bless God for great deliverances.

Tell me again,

Who is the President
And
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE ARMED FORCES
OF
NIGERIA?


That answer is too glib and lacks the diplomacy it was gunning for. Let's act this out
Aide: Mr President, Zondogo Republic has finally made good it's threat to invade the nation.
Mr President: oh no, not now, you know I am manic-depressed/bipolar.
These parents are hoping against hope (me too), so the face of our President would do wonders for them.

aycapri:
what has the government done with the recovered money. At least, the govt has recovered some before now.

I'm glad you asked. FantasticallyCrazyCorruptCountry!!!

David Cameron if you are reading this, perchance you are; I say to you, "Do not, repeat Not, apologise to Nigeria for pointing out how corrupt their system is". I loved that adjective/adverbial you used. If you have more please feel free to dish them out.

Yep, initially I was indignant at the condescending and caustic way you delivered that vituperation but it was the Truth. Who knows, you may have been hurting for dear ole Nigeria and it's peoples; Nigeria has attained unbelievable feats of Corruption which some nations only fantasize about.

Lemme point out here that Britain did not come to our Country to cart away the loot in it's custody. That must be one of the things that is disgusting to DC. How can men and women Rape, Maim, Plunder, Loot and Run down their ONLY Country in that manner. DC, hear and hear me well, do not return them: collateral damage noni!!! SenselessStupidThieveingNigerians!!!

Channels4news please make that video available to our National Assembly.

Nigeria is Fantastically Corrupt.
Looking forward to when Nigeria will be Fantastically Fantastic .

Halen:
d last time i sent stop to mtn i was charged 100 naira and d messages r still comin in

cardoso111:
Man is fooling us when I sent stop,to33111 after24 hours,mtn said your subscription has been renewed!and 50naira will be deducted!

9jatatafo:
How I wish we know all the sms codes then we can broadcast STOP to them all and be free form this MTN from xenophobic South Africa.

Blimey! I laughed hard at these.

Thanks OP for info.

bad meat: This thread has some SHORT comings

Deep!
I doff my hat. An amazing one-liner and a pun. You're good.

Wow, NL is always a homecoming for me. Always. Here I am on familiar grounds after the fiasco of Botswana throwing our brothers into jail. And here I am laughing my whatever off at 3am. And btw this is classic: "

Rap maestro: mtcheew 'is it not beta 4 her to kill herself than to commit suicide'

...thumbs up. It's always a great service to remember the sayings of our elders be it "manhood" or 'co-widows'. We should quote their wisdom often.

Poor, poor, Nigeria; its citizens at loggerheads with one another and it's peoples, mutilated mercilessly outside it's shores.
"Everyone hates Nigeria" is no longer a chant, a lullaby, but a ravaging epidemic.
What did this political entity do to deserve this. Be it as it may, what next. Should we go on, taking these insults laying low; pretending that as long as it is an isolated experience, life can go on. Or should we in our small corners start a revolution - to better the name of this great and always will be great country.
I used to hide behind my other country when Nigeria is being maltreated, shrugging non-chalantly and accusatorily but no more.
And I think you non-Nigerians on this thread, heaping insults on a prone giant, have a nerve. This giant will stand it's full height again. No condition is permanent.

^^^ great work. Love the analysis.

@OP
I like this information and having read through the thread, it's problem would be the distaste of "something slimy crawling" on one's face. Back to the drawing board, more research to be done. Snails have been linked to Hypertension Control. I guess the beauty parlour, spa, revealed it's method due to snails being exotic from thereabout. I will find a way, having gotten the necessary info. Nature is littered with goodness. Thanks Poster.

Sorry, that was too long. Depression is a matter close to my heart.

@topic, all that has to be said has been said.
Some say suicide is the coward's way out and for a long time, I countered that it was really the brave that took their own lives. That was a long time ago and this brings me to the reason why I am commenting. Depression

chidindufrank: Depression causes a lot of things. When you are depressed,please visit a doctor not church or any other place o. A doctor would always no the best way to psyche you up and fix your problem

[quote author=Yoshi-Master]and why not a church?[/quote]

brownlord: My guy parkwell, if he house rent expire na na doctor one pay am? Or if he don graduate for 6 yrs, em no get job and e no get money to start bizness shebi na doctor go dey feed am? U must be a learner

chidindufrank: church will definitely add to your fears and problems. Pastor must find a way to link it to spiritual and bla bla bla whatever.

[quote author=Yoshi-Master]Lol, that can't be a real church then, cause what's the point of having a church if not to council the weak amongst other things.
In some of my most depressed states, I have been made strong my the creator.
Modern day psychiatrist also may be able to help, but I just don't think one should outright rule out the church as a remedy for depression.[/quote]Depression is a clinical state, highly volatile cos sufferers initially are at loose ends as to what their problem is and the outsider is baffled at the sufferer's perceived indulgence. In this befuddled state, the illness is escalating for the sufferer and yet he is ashamed to talk to another because he cannot communicate it and so it goes on
Church/Mosque may not be helpful in this case, because of inability to deal with the core problem of depression - chemical imbalance in the brain, Serotonin et al. If your faith is not tested and grounded please seek medical attention, and not just any hospital but those equipped, fully, to deal with depression.
@Yoshi-Master, of course you do well because you know your Creator but many don't know Him hence the depression in the first place
@Brownlord, @chidindufrank can park well because if a depressed person is not medicated he won't see the light, knowing he is capable of paying house rent and so on, that there is another way. And there is! But a depressed person cannot see it
Sadly, depression is never fully cured but controlled.
Eventually, a depressed person will think on suicide!!!

aminho: I Hated School, Failed WAEC And Almost Became A Mechanic” – Governor Fashola Reveals All
Posted by: foluso on June 18, 2013

You warned everybody off a loud birthday celebration, what explains that decision?

Well, my birthday has always been a private thing. But in the last few months, there has been, for want of a better expression, building excitement; people planning all sorts of things, committees being set up and I said, “No, you don’t do this to me, not this time.”
when I was 18 I saved money for about six months and went partying with my friends. I really enjoyed myself. The next one I remember was 21 and I was in the university then. It was my friends and I on campus and as difficult as it was then, because there was no telephone, my mum made it a sense of duty to ensure that I got a birthday card. I still keep it till today. It was a very touching birthday card and after that, there were really no birthdays in that sense.

When I got married, on my birthdays I get home early. If it’s a working day, we don’t cook, we order food, people come in – my parents, siblings come – each one at his own time and really by 7 or 8 pm, I leave them in the house with my wife and I am gone; maybe to go and play snooker or tennis at the club. So, there was no ceremony around it. I am not a ceremony person. I don’t like those formalities and I remember that when I was Chief of Staff, I turned 40 and my friends said, “No it’s a lie; we are going to have a party” and I said, “No, if you do it I am going to run away.” quite say. What I remember was that I had to wake up very early and I said, “this shouldn’t be; this is my birthday, I should be sleeping.
This time, with all the plans going on, I said, ‘no’, that if this is my day, then those who really love me should allow me to do it my way.

As governor?
If we can’t eat small rice and chicken in the house and I don’t even know if I want to dress up in a formal sense. I just want to feel free, see the people I want to see and if there is something going on, on television, I want to watch, instead of, ‘Oh, come and say hello to this person or that person.’ I am sure I am not mentally prepared for that and I don’t want to offend people.

No surprises here that the Governor does not want a crowd on his birthday. This is typical of those born at this time in June. To us, fanfare, crowds are noise and jamborees that are nerve-racking. We'd rather have our close family and friends on that day and party in the simplest possible way.
By no means interpret this as a cheap gesture as I have been known to splurge in entertainment. For us, those seemingly small gestures like the card from his mom are the ones that go a long way.
I know how you feel Sir, and if they really care they should let you have your way.
I want to ask you a question Sir, when you come back from work and see throngs of people (ok, 2-3), waiting to see you, do you feel like suddenly developing wings? My friend, once he sees cars outside his house, makes a U-turn.

[quote author=~Bluetooth]Call it whatever you like but to me,it means connecting with those at the bottom of the society and it takes extra ordinary men to look beyond their personality and stoop to that level.[/quote]Too contrived - Politicians and their gimmicks.
What now, our Governor is a superstar? He should go take lessons from Cameron. If I were to advise him, to make the PR look more poignant, I'd have told him to lose the fawning audience and go it alone that way he gets to be the "extraodinary man looking beyond his personality"
In other news, I am a fan of our Governor

peleson: ... am looking at and more interested at the quality of the building and how affordable it is to them. am thrilled at the level of their decent habitation.. What do u think, Nlanders?

Couldn't help noticing the beautiful layout and light stand too. It was the first thing that caught my eye.

Ok. I see the light.
I am willing to live with it;
I am fully prepared to accept homosexualism et al on the grounds that core participators are mentally deranged.
I am fine with that.
Case closed.

Human angle stories like this, on NL, leave me jaded and weary because I am thrown every which way, to contribute or not.
It was beautifully, nay, exquisitely written. Most times, and if its a true story, contributors struggle hopelessly with the language, coming up with treacherous narration.

(1) Post-partum depression is the pits. I'm dealing with a case of a woman who hates her infant (female) because she feels her husband loves her baby more.
(2). Naturally, a very sensitive partner, would withdraw if spouse is cheating incorrigibly. It must be an additional wonder of the world, that she is intimate, with her husband without a confrontation;(here the story gets wonky).
Hope she doesn't stab him.(Story can benefit with this twist)

SLIDE waxie: No problem.
Before, wetin he dey do there? No be to siddon look? And watch the other talk?

Me too.
I wondered what was spectacular about the news.
Well, maybe, because, even, the 'wall-flower' status is off limits to him.
So sad. Our leaders ruined the fruitful destiny of the entity called Nigeria.
Can anyone imagine how high we would have soared if, only if, we had leaders that put love of country first.

I have noticed that gay life is enslaving, very addictive.
Some enter it, out of curiousity, or as our Nigerian brothers, out of monetary pursuits. Sadly, in the end, they are unable to break free. They go on living this life that they are so ashamed of and, later become blaise of it all; dedicatedly looking for younger people to entrap. And so goes the vicious circle. Sad!

Why are gay people like this; why are they so apologetic on one hand or belligerently demanding to be accepted on the other hand.
Could it be a conscience overload.
Me, I have started to accept this eerie phenomenon; seeing masterpieces of God succumbing to a class of citizenry that even animals would shudder to contemplate.
I don't believe anyone is born gay, yes it is a mental condition, a struggle between light and dark, (and I sympathise), in which the sufferer can choose to stand tall.

Nostalgia
Long time ago, paid N250,000 to learn forex trading, also paid N70,000 for my friend to learn which was supposed to be a loan and till now has not been repaid.
For me, learning to trade was straight forward then, fun even. My tutor was good. Sad thing is I never traded for one day. My amiable tutor forgot to stress the very simple fact that I needed to be computer literate.
Will I trade someday, maybe, but not now. Surely I will revisit that knowledge; can never get over the rush of knowing that making money, legitimately, is a click away. I'm like that.

H. E. L. P

Please post photos of other bachelors and their "lettes" so I will stop Crushing on, hyperventilating over Seun.

Those eyes! That perfectly shaped mouth.
Someone once said the "Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born" I beg to disagree.
First it was Chidi Mokeme, then Uti, Now Seun. Goodness!!!
A thing of beauty is joy forever, Keats did not lie.

God is good. WoW!!!

joebeckz: I tot only girls do diz shit not until a guy called me on a hot tuesday morning to warn me bout d gal I was dating,saying he has introduced himself to d family n intends takin her to d alter,I kindly asked,wen is diz ur supposed wedding. D dumb ansa I got was 2016. I lafd loud. Anyway,shit happens. I ve been victim twice to such

Inconsistent, don't you think!

My, my, my! The babies/toddlers in this thread are so 'dapper' so superbly cute and they know it. Check out their self-confidence, these li'l people are getting to me.

These cuties are cool, heavenly and a lot of them have swag already: Annie and Omotola's cutiekins. Watch out for Tamar-lilly and Simisola; they give cute a make-over. Monalisa and Ezuronye's and Ramsey's cutiekalis would have easily come from the same mould. Oboli's cuti-e-skis are dashing, from here, I can feel the royal cuteness oozing. He melted my heart the first time I saw him here, yes, Ejenobor's bundle of cutienista. Yes, I am ready to spend the whole day with Aofiyebi's bundle of joy. Yes, I'd babysit, gladly, and would cuddle MJ's Purity, if mom would let me. Goodness! the baby is cuddly.

Funke's pose reminds me of her character in Jenifa; it is uneducated, unintelligent, unbecoming, unfeminine and unflattering. How could she!

As for Mercy Johnson, the compliments that she is shapelysexy is wrecking havoc within. Look at her 'strutting'.

Who wore it better? Not these two definitely. They just wont let us see the beauty of the poor li'l red dress

I hear the man wants to be left alone (face-book post), I bet he has never heard one of our Wise Sayings that says, the tree that forbids ants should not produce a diet for ants. He should kiss all desire to be left alone goodbye. Officially he is now public property, to worsen matters, he is an actor.

Never really did like him, now I know why. However I have a friend who thinks he's all that. Guess who'd be receiving a link to this story. Hahahaha.

I know the white dress and veil costume during marriage is an acquired culture but seriously people ought to educate themselves on certain things. Why does a pregnate bride have a veil covering her face, let's not mention the fact that she is wearing white, as this has become de-rigueur. The subterfuge took roots a long time ago. Why would a woman marry a married man. Bah!!!

Oh my! Is this Nairaland. So prim, so proper. Not at daggers drawn but fawning over with the niceties of maturity; of civilities. Incredible. I have never seen NL this peaceful and so ...boring
CB, you achieved a feat here, as tranquil as it is unprecedented.

ItsModella: I saw this coming.
We're all headed for hell fire then.

So glad someone finally figured this out. Hell, all da way, if we're not careful. Hell, all the way...

Tonto in Big Brother!
Oh no, there goes my resolve to stop watching Big Brother. In her characteristic way, she's going to overwhelm.