₦airaland Forum

dennis3888:
Good day everyone please i need your candid advise and opinion

Am about to leave my bank job of seven years with a salary of 100k for a new business note the business has already been set up already

my fears is that am married and you know what that means i have ready responsibilities. so am now having fears that what of it doesn't work (which have been praying about seriously).


probably the fears is just in my head. your opinion please

Nothing pays like your own personal business, but don't just quit like that, make she the business is strong to some extent b4 quitting.


Is all about preparation.
So make sure you do the needful.

Godsprojectayo:
Teaching job of 20k salary 7:30a.m to 4p.m or okada hustle for a bsc holder? which would you recommend?
All contributions will be appreciated please!

I'll advise you start doing home lesson couple with your okada hustle. It pays more and you'll also have time for yourself .

Forget that useless school teaching job.

Gosp1:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unRF3Io5rYE



https://www.instagram.com/p/ChglP5WKKy3/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Jealousy na bad thing o.


Just imagine this devil's that call themselves friends.

Dada4me:
Good evening nairalanders, my daughter is in basic two with a bad handwriting. I have tried helping her by showing her how to handle Biro but no improvement.

Please recommend what to do.

Oga is a matter of time, very soon she will improve.

And also get some writing materials for her.

Shalommy:
Chaii.. Naija men are loser, badluck and failure!

Is like your father and brothers are from USA??

MasterKernel:
The nation doesn't have the features of a nation that will last for than 40 years from now.

The leaders are looting and dumping outside.
Nationals are running out of the nation.
70% Are living below poverty level.
No Power
High Poverty rate
Insurgency
High mortality
High Unemployment rate
High Crime Rate.

Please state one thing wey Nigeria dey do well?

Corruption. We are doing very well in this aspect.

If you think am lying ask tinubu.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

I'll advise you send that wife away, she's playing mind games with by provoking you and dont want you to react, but when you do she start shouting domestic violence forgetting the fact that she started the whole problem. Many men are suffering from this in their marriage, and has finally fallen for the trap of this women. So within them they're happy and finally feel you can't do anything to them even if they mess up.

Do away with that girl, she's troublesome and will keep provoking you until you'll do something rash to her.

Act fast bro. the earlier the better.

Fabulouslouie:
I must say that life can take an unexpected turn and make things unbearable.

I was depressed for the better half of my year 200l to 400l. I still wonder how I got through that impossible phase.

Now I slip in and out of depression, but I haven't found a way to manage it properly.

How do you manage depression?

When am depressed I listen to messages, Read motivational books or listen to cool music.

That's my remedy for depression.

TheRareGem1:
Approves measures to boost Water, Sanitation, Hygiene
 
Urges improved private sector collaboration



https://www.facebook.com/100068819936024/posts/pfbid03SRjQrFvN6GDMgyk3BaWJmhGCicjwDU6xJRdMnKpH53S49ntjbWvaLNkKFQYo2USl/

Northern almajiri wont like this development o.

wis3:
For man to tell woman say she's only for cooking and se.x shows he has lost whatever regards he has for her.

To be honest that statement is bad, really
demeaning. Even if is me I won't be happy o.

Somebody need to talk sense into that nigga.

As for the food aspect she should just prepare his own meal too after doing moi-moi for the kids.

[quote author=siofra post=115632628][/quote]Men have really dealt with this girl.

She sound so pained.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

You're very stupid for seeking for advice.

Somebody you call wife is having sex with her ex while pregnant for you. You're not suppose to be staying with such bitch.

Make sure you do DNA for that child, and also send her away.

phemmyfour:
If only women know what men go through to provide for the family, they LL continue to worship us

Exactly.

nakaman:
to me the idea is foolish, what is the beer doing there, are u to drink it or what

It just does not blend

A beer in sneakers

As in ehhn

The thing tire me o

MaxInDHouse:
I thought you typed this:


So if you're not one of his fans nor believe in the Bible there's no need arguing over what i said. According to God's word that man is useless to the Faith period!

You ain't making any point bro.

You called him useless, that useless man has global impact, and he's still impacting lives. Only blind people won't know this.

So just tell us you're looking for opportunity to insult him, we will understand.

Wilgrea7:
I sure hope you don't celebrate anything.. i hope you use every opportunity you get to mourn something.. because if not.. then even you are not following this verse.



Subjective



I don't see how that relates.. I don't think any religious leader is under any obligation to pay condolences to another religious leader.. especially if they don't know each other personally.

Also.... Mockery is more of an active.. than passive thing. Choosing not to weigh in on something is not the same as mockery.



A few words of condolences shows that you care. Being indifferent is not mockery. Dude. The people who mocked him didn't ignore his son's death.. they made fun of it . They are not the same things.

How is this even a debate?

Bro you already answer this dude

He's just trying to make point when there's none

I don't know how mockery and silence seems to be related.

Nigga just looking for opportunity to insult the clergyman.

Bro you already answer this dude.

He's just trying to make point when there's none.

I don't know how mockery and silence seems to be related.

Dude just looking for opportunity to insult the clergyman.

Houseofglam7:
Say no to drugs.

Exactly

I've being telling him for a very long time.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

From all indications something is going on between them.
Your wife know watsup guy.

I'll advise you put a close look to your wife and brother without them knowing , the devourer is about to devour.

Profperfect:
Dear Fam,

Please help me out(advice) on this , I am writing at this odd hour because I have lost my peace and I can't close my eyes and sleep .

My relationship has not been a rossy one at all, I have my faults (though am not a womanizer or a cheat) God bears me witness, but believe me, the girl I'm dating and almost settling down with after some years of dating has been hell, trust issues, disrespectful, someone who told me she can never respect or submit to me in her life, I have endured and endured her, she always overrides me. I can't talk or complian of her wrong doings , she will react badly, very insulting (countlessly insulted my father and mother but I have never ever retailiated, does care about what I feel or how I feel.

Should I talk of sex? I have never cheated on her for the past 6 years plus since we met (started dating) at a young age at uni and after uni, I respect her even in her absence, but she has mingled with different guys that has cost out relationship, in all these she claims she has done nothing wrong.

The main issue of all right now is that her boss, she once worked for who she was consciously sleeping with inside office once others are not around, always, hotel, even when they (claim) or go to conference or meetings together, knowing that he is a married man, called her yesterday to give her a job offer to return . This is a boss she served years back, even during uni he kept calling and always wanting to have her, during and after NYSC he kept calling her for him to have a bite, same boss she was pregnant for and aborted for him, though she hanged it on her boyfriend as of that time and the guy didn't know . She never told me all these her self, but I won't like to share here how I got to know.

The same man she has been avoiding for years, that she doesn't want to go back to sin or her past life, but just yesterday she even took excuse sneaked out of office and went to see him and accepted the offer, then came back home called me to tell me this and that and before I could talk she said she has accepted it, was shocked and trying to reason why she did that, she asked me if there was anything wrong in her decision, she began to yell at me on phone, as usual I kept mute and ended the call. Please would I be wrong if at this point I take a bow and leave now?

Please help me push it to the front page. She is a Nairalander too, she sees nothing wrong in the wrong things she does. Let the world hear my story and correct me if am wrong on taking the decision.

You be idiot.

Them swear for you with the relationship?
What are you doing with such kind of girl?

You better dump that trash you call girlfriend and look for a decent one to start your life with.

MrBrownJay1:
you forgot to take your meds this early morning...

Hahahaha.

Comrade pls calm down.

Tonero5200:
I won't say I'm ugly let's just am an average looking guy, every time I get to see boys who are handsome or finer than me I get moody, angry and jealous about their looks...the way people stare at them and wish they are their friends.

I had an issue with one the other time just a minor misunderstanding I took it to another level... which was very wrong of me.

God is to be blamed, why did he create some people normal and the other better looking..and yet they say he is not a partial God.

It's because you don't have something important to do with your life that's why you're busy hating other people.

Pursue success and get it and see how people will rush you.


I'll strongly suggest you go make your life useful and add value to it, instead of hating others.

NaijaBookings:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sportinglife.com/amp/tennis/news/serena-williams-set-to-retire-from-tennis-imminently/202780

Legend.

cowboyvs:
Good day Folks, I am not going to bore you with all the details. Ok, I have been a member of this Forum but I really need matured advise cos I am in a dilemma right now. I met this cute babe in 2021. She is from Edo I am Igbo. I was really thinking of getting married to her but I have some serious concerns.

Firstly, sometime last year she came visiting. While she was sleeping on my laps her phone screen lit up so I was tempted to look and I saw message delivered to Mariam. So something whispered to me to check the content of the message. When I checked, I discovered that the message was deleted after it was sent.

So being a Guyman, that discovery spurred my curiosity. What I did was to copy the number and checked on Truecaller, lo and behold a Man’s name appeared. So I checked his name on face book and checked on WhatsApp too and I saw it was a married Man with five kids.

So I waited till morning and confronted her. Initially, she denied it was a man but when I confronted her with my evidence she confessed it was a married man. I enquired further and she told me they have had s*x like 4 times while we were dating ooo. I butted her out of my house and blocked her completely.

But this babe will be using other pple’s phones to call and be sending msgs telling me she is sorry. So at a point I forgave her and we continued, but, I was not ready to start trusting her again. So last week, I was trying to see if she has truly turned a new leaf before making a major move by going to see her parents. I was shocked what I saw in her WhatsApp.

There was this random dude asking her out. From their chats she told the guy that she has a boyfriend so she can’t have anything to do with him. But, she sent him a video of her touching her Vagi*a. Telling him she wets and squirts very well. When the guy demanded they see so he can feel her she told him no that her Vagin* is only for her boyfriend. Also I saw so many guys asking her out but she kept telling them she is in a serious relationship and she can’t date them.

So I am really confused. She is 22 and I am 33. It pains me so much cos this girl is so loving and caring and also a good cook. She treats me well and has never disrespected me. I am really hurting inside cos I feel this is not the kind of woman I wanna marry like how do u expose the most intimate part of ur body to someone else. Is it lack of maturity or she is jst loose and I didn’t know. I have refused picking her calls but she keeps on begging and sending msgs seriously. I am tired.

Please I need matured advise cos I am no longer getting young and I wanna settle down ASAP.

You dey see red flag you no wan run abi, until she put am for your body wotowoto.


Secondly, don't be desperate to get married, age is just a number, so settle down and search with wisdom.

Thanks.

jeromestarks:
On a second thought, stay with her until she plans your death with one of her rich male friends.
Don't worry, your children will be well fed.
The choice is your bro.

Hahahahaha.....

Collins4u1:
I don't think anyone has been deployed yet..

I've been deployed.

I saw mine yesterday.

Thinkam:
Firstly she scammed me, thought she had huge boobs, but turns out she only wears big bra's those things are tiny just nipples.

She has her own apartment, but for the past 4days she has been living with me practically...

I hate sharing my personal space, I've tried using technicalities and innuendos to drive her out, but none seems to work

you were looking for good boobs but it turned out to be something else, now you're crying.

Na you sabi o.

godofuck231:
Coward

You for go help am na brave man.

Offpointng:
Nothing beautiful or special bout this girl, very ugly, poor body, she no get long hair and she no even sabi act sef... just one nonsense sitting around Nollywood

Stop hating, she's very beautiful and a good actor.

Edipet:
I have a small dumbbell at home plus a push-up. Is that okay for me. Because I usually feel intimidated at the gym house

You don't need to feel intimidated, let it be a source of encouragement to you.

And make sure you workout properly, rest and eat good food .

olabrinks:
Character is what makes or breaks a home, not sex styles. If you like, climb on top of the roof, after 5 years you will still get tired.

Be a good person, not just to your husband but to the people around you. It will sustain you for life.

You're wrong bro, sex is part of it.

What the ignorant lady fails to understand is that sex and variety of meals are not the only thing that keeps a marriage.


There's more to it. Even in church they'll tell you.

TMSMedia:
https://igberetvnews.com/1425028/giving-husband-styles-left-dont-think-can-marry-korra-video/

Ignorance is really a disease.
There's more to marriage than what you just mentioned.