₦airaland Forum

Afobaba33:
Oga Sir I beg to disagree with your point considering the ratio of people involved in corruption

Only the top officers can get away with looting in the military BUT our dear politicians from councilor to Mr president are corrupt

Even if one wants to be different the system will not permit you

Dem fit kpai the person sef.

IamANigerianMan:
From Lt Col

From Major/Sq Ldr/Lt Cdr to Colonel as senior officers are all corrupt.
From Brig. Gen and above as flag officers are super corrupt.

viyon02:
I do watch cartoon too, in fact smart people watch cartoon.

If OP can't get it, let him forgerrit.
Cartoons are far better than most silly programs adults watch.

clefstone:
It depends on your girlfriend shape o

I wonder.
IF na amoeba shape, you go explain tire. No evidence of looking sexy.

One thing about such girls be say dem nor dey pure.

One thing go dey somehow about them like ogbanje levels.

Honey sweet one moment, totally weird next.

ahnie:
The wife almost collapse and burst into hot tears,both families were called for a meeting with the lady opening saying she's done with the marriage as it seems to have taken a toil on her being the bread winner.
As I write she has abandoned their kids with the man and went away with taking anything from their home to another town to start a fresh life.

Reasons for this post is....her husband is still bragging that what belongs to his wife also belongs to him,that he has rights to spend the money

My question is....who's to be blamed?
Should we blame the woman for being too lax with her ATM CARD N PIN which her husband is privy to?

OR

The man that blew the wife's money on frivolities

If the story is true or even half of it is true, the hubby is a stupid goat.
You have 4 kids, you can't even feed your family if not for your wife. Then you blow your wife's savings on little girls. No thought about his kids education.
But wait o. Where do these hardworking women get these useless men from?

The blame is the yeye man's 100%

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

It's the same issues blighting relationships in 9ja that affect those in diaspora, with extra pressure to secure stay or be deported. When they are deported, you will be one of those to laugh at them.

9ja relationships in 9ja are not as genuine or authentic as before, divorces are more common, fewer people take culture and tradition seriously these days, right here in 9ja. Compared to our parents and grandparents. Everybody is doing too smart. Why should you expect miracles in 9ja people abroad?

Those successful Asians are still Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Confucius, Shinto adherents etc. Or Muslims for centuries now.

At Diwali, the Hindu festival, Sunak puts Hindu candles and other stuff outside Number 10 Downing Street. A Prime minister. Imagine Obama pouring libation outside the White House to one Kenyan/Luo god or goddess like that. It's oversabi holier-than-the-Pope Africans who will condemn him the most.

In 9ja various religions in the last 200 years have shattered our traditional values. We are in a transition and being tossed around anyhow. So expect more of the confusion and values erosion, both in 9ja and diaspora.

Cmeo:
What I don't understand is why some people are hellbent of destroying Nigeria for the benefit of foreigners?? So many complains are being read about SON deliberately allowing substandard goods import into Nigeria but shutting down local companies for producing something better than that

Because they all know that nobody really cares about 9ja. To the average 9ja, their Town Union is more important, relevant and closer to their heart than the 9ja project can ever be. Forget all that singing of national anthem in official gatherings. Na just formality.

9ja is a carcass that people are just carving up turn by turn. If letting foreigners carve up their own chunk is what it takes, so be it.

QED.

BabaHenry:
I can't blame most of this people hating on each other here, the hate was actually passed from generation to generation and it keeps getting stronger day by day....
We were also brought up with the same mindset but we chose not to follow the path of destruction that these people follows...

Let me tell you a little story Sir...

About 18years ago, I was in a commercial Bus going to Ibadan from Osun state. ..
There was this two Igbo men sitting at the back of the Bus and I was sitting at the middle... Honestly speaking would you believe that despite the fact that these guys works and live among the Yorubas, all their conversation till we got to the destination was all about their hate for those people, how they can never allow their daughters to marry from from them and their son likewise...
My heart was trouble and I wept within, how exactly did we get to this point and one thing I want you to know is that the only thing making the hate stronger is Politics as we stand now...

Those two grown up men, how do you want them to relate with their kids on issues that concerns the Yorubas ?
And the same thing goes for any Yoruba man with the same mindset as those Igbo men...

Most of us are being misled and I pray may God help us out of this mess!!

.

Dude, we are in trouble. Seeing the headline, I knew it would degenerate to a Benin-Yoruba fight.

Our system deliberately refused to teach history correctly.

My fear is that as Nigeria grows bigger, the fights will get worse and we will become ever more incompatible.

We have discussed that Oba travels but not anyhow.

Historically, Oba Orhogbua was with Portuguese in Eko and Ijebu-Ode. The Portuguese documented it well. They were also at the gate of Idah with Oba of Benin in the Benin-Idah War, 500 years ago.

Obas led warriors to War before later putting Iyase and Ezomo in charge.

How can an Oba/Emperor not travel to survey/visit territories?

But there are times of the year that Oba goes into seclusion and sees only few or nobody. Certainly no strangers such as period of atonement/fasting called Awe in Benin.

Coolsat:
Some so-called men are just very annoying.

If you are in charge of your games, where she for see liver to come up with such request.

Smh

But she go still pass back go. Na today?

Greenfaces:
The culture is totally different. It's not like the southern life style where the movement of women is unrestricted. Its very easy to track these acts just by the structure of the society. There is no free mixing of opposite genders, hotels, police, neighbours all collaborate to ensure a healthy society. A woman who is not married doesn't even live alone in a rented apartment. Do you know what it is to be called dan iska? That's bustard. It's a very serious thing here. That's even pregnancy before marriage not to talk of giving someone's child to another man. I have never even seen a case like that here my entire life except amongst people whom the society has ordinarily cast away as unfit to coexist with normal people. These are the people you know as yan dabas, drug dealers, bandits, boko haram, prostitutes. they are not the everyday normal dan arewa we know. Its still very very common to be married as a virgin both as a man and woman here that's to tell you that social media or wokeness has not broken even the most basic traditions talkless of introducing new dimension to shamelessness

We often hear and discuss the issue of promiscuity in the south and some of us think its over rated, some think it's too bad to be true, but from the news and statistics, yes it's true that the media is not hyping this sex matter in the south. Its actually a free for all and sign of the end time

Look, just because most girls marry very young before they even have the chance to date does not mean when married, things won't happen, For example, marrying your cousin in most of the South is incest. No such qualms in Core North. Therefore straffing cousins might be rampant.

Also, on paper, drug use should be low in the North, but we know it's not.

Premarital pregnancy will of course be rare when you marry soon after reaching puberty.

Look, all societies believe their structure is superb, until science speaks. Fact is we just don't have figures from the North.

Where awareness and suspicion are low, then reliable data would be rare. At least we have data for part of Lagos, none for any part of Kano.

Xiaohei:
[b][/b]

Is the student gender non-binary? The use of “their” and “themselves “ when referring to just one person (a male) is confusing ooo!

It's normal these days. Just to be neutral.

Hmmmmm

Thank God.

Nice work

Greenfaces:
Hmm.... that lagos!

Anyways... stop making blanket statements. In hausa land, you can count 6 million people before you count one bastard

How many of them do DNA test up North? Let science speak. Humans are naturally deceitful. Things happen a lot when people feel they will not be found out. How many men can satisfy their 3 or 4 wives, some nubile young ones among them?

The old man's senior sons may be helping their dad with the job on younger wives.

Remember, even the wives may be cousins or nieces of the elderly hubby.

Let's stop pretending. This belief that "women in my area/tribe/religion" are different is exactly what women exploit.

Social media has allowed us access to various people. You will be shocked what some ladies from that your area told me.

missjekyll:
He is very right. Any Onitsha person could have told you this.

Correct. Even the Great Zik of Africa confirmed it in his book in 1973.

VinnyBaba:
Hmmm, na wa o.

How did you arrive @this?

A publication by a DNA test lab in Lagos published their findings earlier this year. Search NL for it.
It found that 26.2% of ALL kids belong to another man. These are results the lab had over many years.

But older findings were roughly 25% for all kids and up to 40% (average 35%) for firstborns. We have discussed such reports for over 10 years on NL here.

Reason is most women have multiple sugar daddies and boyfriends and don't usually know who is father of first preggy. They usually give it to who is most eligible or most likely to accept it. But some still continue sleeping around but a bit less than when single.

Women used to dispute it here until the latest result came this year.
Only a very foolish will just accept a baby without DNA test these days. Even if she's your wedded wife.

I know people whose 2 or 3 kids were not theirs at all.

olisefom:
I do tell people that most of our parents had no idea what parenting was meant to be. This case of preference has been since time immemorial and I think its part of human nature.

Just like you said, parents can do better by hiding whatever preference they have

Tor at bolded.

Even biblical Jacob loved Joseph and Benjamin more. Because he loved Rachel their mom more.

Na human nature.
At times, a child may look or behave like your mom or dad you loved so much.
At times, a dad may wonder if a particular child is his because his looks or behaviour may be so different from his or family traits.

Remember by the way that about 35% of firstborn kids and 25% of all kids belong to another man outside.

Squirrel1:
If I understand this clearly, this means that cbn can't pay banks n clear forex orders, thus making the naira lose value against the doller? Those with deeper understanding should clear me please.

Dude, at a basic level you nailed it. We don't earn enough in dollars/export and our $33bn reserve is not actually that. Because around $11bn of it is tied down. In reality we have about $22bn free to dip into. But we can't really afford to take too much from it. It's already too low and would ruin our credit worthiness pata pata.

Therefore, CBN is hamstrung and has little room to manoeuvre to clear the $6bn backlog to banks. This, along with other poor economic indices like high inflation and unemployment will keep putting pressure on the Naira.

So, our failure to industrialise after 6 decades and export cars, electronics, pharmaceuticals, steel, and other high value products and services has reduced us to exporting mostly only oil with very shaky price.

Nigerian men may be terrible but from my observation 9ja women are just about the worst I have seen.

The most unfaithful set of women. (No unfaithful guy has the right to complain)
Bad/toxic manners.
Sense of entitlement.
Hardly bring anything to the table even when she works.

All the above rubbish their cooking and mothering skills.

Way less than 10% of 9ja women make good wives.

I have friends traumatised by wives' infidelity, dishonesty, diabolic practices and lately in diaspora, using their kids to punish ex-hubbies. Not minding impact of denying access on the kids. Men often refuse to go to court to protect the kids. Women have no such scruple.

The FEW good ones are REALLY good but majority don't deserve any relationship at all. You only have the right to complain about 9ja men if you are one of the very few good 9ja women.

To my mind, if 9ja women are the only ones left, marriage should be scrapped. Period.

If I can roll back time, I won't touch any 9ja woman with a barge poll. The most terrible beings.

BALLOSKI:
You're in Europe and trust a brother in Nigeria with 30m? Can't you just find a way to get your money to Nigeria in your own account and come and supervise your project?

She has no papers. It's not that easy. At least 50% of our people who left 15 to 50 years ago suffered something similar. In fact I don't know anybody that left 9ja in the 80s and 90s that didn't suffer it to some extent. Virtually everyone did.

A distant relative who left only 15 years ago lost an amount close to this, adjusted for inflation. This lady's own is good. She found out while still abroad. My relative found out after arriving to visit 9ja. Her junior brother wasted the money.

If you suddenly arrived in 9ja only to find out no house and no money, your life is in danger. They can kpai you to "die" everything.

Also remember one thing: the relatives that ate all her money have also been doing all kind of diabolical stuff to tie her abroad. All attempts to obtain paper will fail. Hoping that if she can't visit, she won't find out. That woman go don try all means to obtain paper. No way. We know as things dey na.

At least 5 to 10% of that 30m will have been eaten by babalawos. Na today?

Only smartphone and easier communication via social media is now exposing things. That was not possible just 15 years ago.
Even now, blind trust still make people fall victims. Siblings and in-laws are the most terrible set of relatives in this regard.

Wow!

Cromagnon:
99% of Nigerians cannot boat of 500k oga
You think 30 million is easy?
How much you get for account

What they forgot is that some of that money must have been sent when exchange rate was 200 Naira to a pound.
Adjusted for inflation, the current value might be 50 to 60 million Naira.

She didn't gather the money and send 30m once. It was over very many years.

Fiscus105:
You forget that many of these people approaching or more than 50 have little or nothing to fall back on wen they finally retired, and they fear they may end up doing gateman or watchman after retirement.


A top surgeon earning a million naira in Nigeria, where as, his far far junior, a fresh university graduate would be earning, x5 of his earnings in abroad.


It's only politians that are connected to corridor of power, that I can give 100% backing in ur list.


Meanwhile, some even japa basically because of their children, the atmosphere of naija today not good enough to bring up children. We are in jungle if not dungeon.

Oga, go to interland and do findings.

Most of politicians' grandkids and kids study abroad or even based abroad.
Some have used money to secure Caribbean passports that allow them travel visa free worldwide.

Even rich men in 9ja, many still kpeme before being rushed abroad in emergency.

ILoveNG:
I believe First class graduates are meant for academia not civil service. Second class upper graduates are more apt for civil service.
Commendable though. It’s good to see efforts on education being rewarded.

It's not by force to accept the job offer. Those that obtain scholarship for study abroad may or may not choose that option.
No, it's in 9ja that most people think 1.1 must go into academia. Some students just put their best into their studies without interest in academia. Many are quite happy to work across all sectors of the economy.

There are far more 2.1 graduates in research/academia than 1.1. Reason is there are far more 2.1 graduates out there than 1.1.
So academia is not a congregation of 1.1 students only. A friend had 2.2 first degree but had distinction in his MSc and later did well in his PhD. He's in academia now. All in the West.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
Thank God they voted based on OBJECTIVITY and not SENTIMENT and the best of the very best player won.

Portugal voted for their own Bernardo Silva. Was he really the best? Did they believe he would win? No.
I can understand France voting for Messi, so that at the right time, more countries might vote for Mbappe like they voted for Benzema last year.

But there is no foreseeable time when many countries will vote for a Nigerian to win. So vote for yours.

Nice.

Too bad.

Lots of Diaspora kids can be very vulnerable.

Some don't believe their parents understand the intricacies of Western society. Many won't take parents' advice.

But most of their parents have navigated the system for decades, yet these kids see African parents as Africans who don't understand the West.

Their resilience and street smartness are usually low.

Also, being black and stigmatised has eroded the self-esteem of many black kids so much that they feel overjoyed to be hit on by a white guy. Even a dodgy and low grade oyingbo. Pretty black/mixed race girls like this. I cringed a lot seeing it at uni.

But as a black man, if you speak, you will be seen as jealous, so I
said nothing.
Sad.

RIP.

Obierika:
Don't start getting worked up unnecessarily, it's a fake story!

Fictional stories have good lessons to learn from them. Moreover, most of us know of similar real life stories.
So people can still learn a lot from replies here.

Jewessgratitud3:
Ogar it easier said than done until it happens to you personally.

I'm a Christian and a born again Christian but I don't condone cheating of any sort. This kind of women don't place value on marriage. They Just feel they can do anyhow and it's nothing. Now imagine if you forgive her just like that, You have given her license to do more.

She even had the audacity to do it on her matrimonial bed. With disease flying every where. She can even kill the man. Such people don't deserve pity. She deserves all the punishment she's getting.

I like the silent treatment the husband and children are giving her. At least now she can perceive her own filth without stressing it to her and she knows she's on her own. This will teach her and others a lesson

At bolded, the man get mind o. The wife fit kpai am to cover everything. The man's family not knowing might seem good to protect his family, but puts him at risk. She fit kpai am before his family finds out. Because if his family knows first, inheritance wahala go shele.

I hope the hubby has done DNA test on all his children.
Nor trust any woman no matter how "godly" or innocent she pretends to be,

Afodot0022:
I will support your dad in some ways as he is trying to protect your mum and also the family, it takes alot of strength to withstand the negative influence of social media. So many things you see and read online and if care is not taken, you will start using it as a yardstick to your life or how to run your home and from there problem start. The likes of blessing CEO are there to give misguided advice and if momsy no strong, she will want to start applying it in the house or to your father which might later cos havoc. I support your dad 100%. My marriage that broke was caused by social media cos my wife got too exposed and start using social media fake life to judge her own life, and it also aids cheating reason why the level of divorce has skyrocket unlike the past.

My brother, if any woman wan mess up, just monitor am. Nor even warn am. Otherwise she go hide am like that Samantha woman wrote.

Na to catch am dey hungry me b4 sef. So long DNA show say your pikins na your pikins, leave the rest. When you catch am, trade for a younger version. The young one too fit worse but manage am until you catch am. You've got to keep your wits about you

No time to waste. The whole thing na game these days.

LadyRosa:


It's an age-long practice and so, TIV men at a point did these things. Whether it practised to date? May not be possible but maybe, TIV men in their reasonable majority do not value their women that much. Unlike the Idomas and igboid groups, which share boundaries, TIV does not have a culture against infidelity so TIV married women sleep with men like breathe to the nose, and it's a habit their men taught them right and well.


It's affecting genuine well brought up TIV girls. Twice I tried to match some good ones with clients looking to settle down, but they rejected them outright on hearing they are TIVS.

Its far easier to see TIV married women in local meat joints drinking and eating meat with men than any other Nigerian tribe.

Hmmmm
Better be sure of that thing you wrote there o.

Is there any Tiv woman who can confirm it? Was the "kola nut" practice in the past? Is it perhaps still practiced in some remote areas where some people may be more conservative?

If it is or was part of the culture, others have no right to condemn it, even if we hold different values.

Culture is not static. If they wish to now change it, they must respect the minority who may wish to uphold it.

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