₦airaland Forum

Stallionhorse:
The turn of events yesterday was very surprising to me, I've been friends with this young Muslim girl, she is 17years old and I'm like 29years old way older than her.. I grew fun of her cause she is very beautiful and hard working tho!! we are not officially dating until yesterday. She is very committed to her religion and all and when we met she told me she is a virgin, I actually don't like virgins its really a turn off for me cause I'm not the patient type and I hate blood during intercourse, so I just decided to be casual friends with her pending when someone else breaks the Hymen so I can enjoy the kpekus..
Fastforwad to yesterday, I woke up just lazing around nothing to do.. I had decided I'm not going out or eating any Salah meat cause I really dislike their religion.. She called me in the morning saying she is going to the mosque to pray I told her okay all the best.. When she got back she called and told me she is back that she would soon be going to the mainland with her family to celebrate the salah I said okay all the best have fun.. 2hrs later she called and I asked her where she was she said home that the rain hasn't allowed them leave so I invited her over that I wanted to see her face before she leaves.. Omo!! The girl enter rain come my side, she was almost soaked in water.. So I asked her to take off her hejab or whatever there call it.. Omo, I just say make I try my luck I held her and kissed her she didnt resist we ended up on the bed she didnt stop me, I say make I put finger see if nah virgin she didnt stop me before you know I put my gbola she hold me tight scream.. That was how it happen.. I bursted the kpekus of a Muslim girl what a salah day sha.. ⅝

How old are you!

OPweysabi:
Let me start by stating that genuine advice and constructive criticism are what I desire and that exactly led me into this form of expression in this public domain.
I clocked 41 years old earlier this year and I got married 11 years ago. The marriage with my wife has not been able to yield any fruit of the womb but that is not even the problem here. At least I observed a lot of people have had great testimonies from the IVF procedure recently as many of the recent threads on here made us believe.
At the beginning, it was not much of a big deal as we thought it was perhaps not a right time for us to conceive but we kept pushing. The disturbing issue, however at that time was that my wife had a very low sex drive from the beginning and that was the way I met her. We later started going for several tests and the results revealed that it wasn't my fault at all but of course, there were some medical issues she had to sort, so we did all that. By 2014, I noticed she started drawing back in bed and that raised a lot of concerns. So I spoke with one of her brothers who is about my age mate, but I noticed no changes like her brother did not raise the issue with her at all. By 2017, I went to Abeokuta to see her mum and told her about her daughter's new fashion of running away from intimacy between me and her. She promised to talk to her. Then I got tired of going for various medical tests as I wondered why we had to spend money and time on tests which won't be backed up by the proper thing eventually. Since then, I think we only made love once and that should be in 2018 or so. Since 2018, there's not been a single hug not to talk of kiss as we lost it completely!

So I met a much younger girl and we started dating. Initially, it was just for the fun of it and to relieve myself of the domestic stress. Later, we got so much into each other and she got pregnant for me! We both agreed to abort it as we knew the danger inherent in keeping it. But then, my wife continued to force me with the periodic medical tests (without the slightest form of intimacy) while the other lady continued to abort pregnancies she had for me. Only last year, the girl aborted 3 pregnancies for me and I felt so bad using her as lab rat. Now I'm 41, when most of my mates don't have infants as children but I'm still contending with a wife who has decided never again to go to bed with me. Confusingly, the other girl is pregnant for me and I'm strongly determined not to abort it this time. In fact, it's already 5 months old!
Now my problems are

*I'm legally married and I have no single problem with my wife asides the issues raised above.

*I think it's criminal because I had a court wedding and I might be prosecuted if she gets to know about this, more so that we are not divorced.

*The pregnant lady's mum has met me before and she doesn't want me because she knows I'm married, so we didn't tell her parents but all her siblings are fully aware and in full support, maybe because they know I've perfected plans to move her abroad to have the baby and let the baby have overseas citizenship. Currently, I've gotten her a well furnished flat since 2 years ago also got her a job paying her 200k monthly.

*My wife's family respect me so much and I think they'll all be disappointed if they get to know.

*I did not tell anybody at all. Not a single family member or friend of mine knows about it because I don't want to be discouraged or lose focus, then nobody can tell me how to create my own happiness.

*I have never had a single issue with the new lady before as she is even about 13 years younger than I am and she respects me a lot. I believe she can't drag issues with me in the future and even if she does, my child remains my child.

*I have never been a fan of polygamy as I understand its intricacies. I know my wife will most likely walk away if she gets to know about this and it will be her strangest imagination!

*I know I can't eat my cake and have it. So what am I to do?

Mods please help shift this to FP as it's an issue really bothering me and I want the participation of many people with diverse opinions.

Dude, number one, it was profoundly foolish of you to abort babies like that. If that lady had died in the course of doing an abortion what would you do. Your case would've been worse. And it was also foolish to have extra marital affairs knowing the consequence.

Two, sex within marriage should be guaranteed. You reported to her family and got no positive response from your wife, you should have proceeded to the elders in her family or the clergymen that joined you too. She deciding to withhold sex for no reason from her is a breach of the marital contract.

Three, now that you are here you need to call a family meeting. Dump your respect and pride in the dustbin for now. Call that meeting between the two families and expose the matter there. Tell them about your predicament as a husband not getting intimate with his wife and tell them you got another lady pregnant. All parties need to be aware of what has happened. If your wife wants to leave let her leave, you brought this on yourself. Take care of the newborn and her mother they are now your responsibility.

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.

The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.

She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.

She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.

Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.

This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.

I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her.
What should I do?

Dude, you are living with a killer. Your life is hanging by a thread. If you are wise stay away from that woman with immediate effect. Call her parents and have a meeting with them. Report all you have reported here to her parents and tell them you cannot live with a woman that can kill you at any time. You never had a marriage and the lady you married was never you wife. Flee before you get killed. That woman is dangerous.

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

Return the ring. Two cannot walk except they agree. If he says no court wedding then respect his wishes just as you expect him to respect your wishes too. You should have discussed this with him before spending 6 years with him. It makes me wonder what you have been discussing and doing for 6 solid years when in just 6 months you could have obtained this information and moved on. You just wasted your time.

UyaiIncomparabl:
In my few years of being in the dating pool, I have realised that SIMPS are the best species of men to date and as well, get married to.

If a man desires peace and wants the full loyalty a woman gives, he should be a SIMP. No, simping doesn't mean you are foolish or have lost your manly honour, it simply means you love women, care for women and can decide to be the bigger person in relationships regardless of her shortcomings. A man who worships and adores a woman. A simp is a man who doesn't think women are less humans, who respects women, who does not feel the need for a woman to reduce herself for a man nor feel threatened by a woman's success, and who treats his wife, sisters and daughters properly.

Simps are the type of men women should aspire to be with. Simps are the real husband materials. Simps are the real companions and friends. Simps have working brains and sound emotional intelligence.

Dear ladies, in your own best interest, AVOID Alpha males and bitter Redpillers. Avoid them like a plague and get yourself a simp today.

But unfortunately women hate simps and love the ones that bash their head against the wall. A simp will never marry an obedient wife rather he will always manage to marry a hoe. A simp will be the last to be satisfied. A simp will only be satisfied by his wife after his boss, the neighbors and even his friends are satisfied. As a man, you have to be like God and God is not a simp. As a man you must not be controllable by your wife, you must not be overly sentimental, you must not yield when you should step your foot down, you must not apologize when you are not wrong, you must not sponsor the irresponsible behavior of your wife and you must be a leader that generates outcomes in the best interest of your home. You can be a lot of things, never be a simp.

bepositive11:
Why do you say so?

Mehn it is easier for satan to use people for evil than for God to use them for good. And as far as I am concerned, my home is my temple of sorts and it embodies my spiritual expression and culture so bringing in an outsider to stay could result in a spiritual conflict or desecration. I'd rather provide a different place of residence for the person.

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Dude! No offense ehn but you sick oh! Who raises a family but wants to be alone. Why are parents forcing children into marriages for goodness sake. You want to be alone and the best way to be alone is for you to get married. Everyday people just keep pushing the bar of craziness. Guy divorce that woman if you cannot live with her. Find a lady will to do baby mama crap and run your shit with her. See as you damage another person life.

If we did this as a criteria for marriage all cheating will end immediately. Sidechicry will end immediately. Sugar daddy nonsense will end immediately...the day foolish pastors decided to join wide open ladies in unholy matrimony was the day immorality was unleashed.

How will a lady that has tasted over 20 dicks be loyal to only one all in the name of marriage? How?

Lostchild:
THE GIST.

I have a residential neighbor. He is in his 40's while I am in my 30's. He lives upstairs, while I live downstairs. He is a banker, divorced with his first, now ex wife with two children and became single again for a long time. From our conversation, his first marriage failed due to immaturity from both side. It became very difficult for him to re-marry because he wanted a help mate. A career / business / market wise woman that will help and build his life.

He told me the problem he is facing today was as a result of his first marriage, and the ease in his life will be determine by his next marriage. He told me he will not settle for the less and I believed him.

He had a lot of conversation with me about his life, although I never told him about myself. I just gave him few advice and prayed for him not to make another bombshel of a mistake.

Someone recommend for him a very young girl which he seem to like. Paid her dowry - traditional marriage in a hurry and brought her home as married couple.

To him, he has caught a fresh young fish.

When this young woman came, he was so curious about me which I seem to understand. One day I told her not to worry if I don't give her attention or always converse with her the way she want. I made her understand I don't speak much in person unless it is very important. I did this just to put her at ease.

THE PROBLEM

The problem right now, my neighbor is having serious headache. I mean extreme headache because the girl he married is still behaving like a child.

He just realize that he has made another huge bombshell. When he first brought her home after the dowry, I myself was secretly concern because the girl was just too small and immature for him. I mean too young to be his daughter age mate.

Yesterday he was shouting and willing to lay hand on her or send her back home. He married her without courtship for the very wrong reasons below.

●He married her because she is young and innocent.
●He married her because he needed someone that will be under his total influence and control.
● He married her because of total submission from a woman.
●He married her because she has orange breast. We men like female breast too much . We just love to suck female breast and she has nice standing fan boobs.

Right now he is seeing the opposite and not the character he thought he paid for. Instead of character or fine personality, man foolishly lusted after tight vagina and hot breast.

I tried to communicate with the young babe, letting her know she need to be smart and acknowlege herself as now a married young woman. She is no longer in her parents house, but her own house.

Her response to me shows that, she is just a typical village girl who was convince into marriage by her parents. She blame her father.

I am secretly concern about her well being.

My only secret worrries right is that, her hubby should not lay hands on her, by slapping her. I don't like when a man beats a woman.

She is very young and small like that of a 17 years old girl.

MEN will always go for curves and breast and not for mature mind or character

Hear yourself. You don't like a man slapping a mannerless wife but you like the man enduring the headache. If the man is willing and the lady will yield the man should groom her into what he wants. Obviously the lady's parents didn't do a great job raising the lady. A lady old enough to be married should have sense, be able to manage her parents house when they aren't home, be futuristic, place progress over pleasure and be able to adapt to changing environments. Unfortunately, many of our ladies today are profoundly stupid even at ages above 25. The same goes for many of our men who are mostly irresponsible and pleasure driven. Upbringing is not just how to wash plate, sweep the floor and all other related stuff. It is broadly about developing a child's ability to interact with its environment in a manner that produces utility for itself, its home and community.

tonididdy:
Should we be scared !?

Dude your pic. Maka why? That lady is undergoing a surgical operation and that is why she is eating the blanket. No be because food nor dey na.

Pepsi all the way ohh. It has lower amounts of gas than Coke. It has this tingling sensation in my throat. Mehn I was addicted to that sensation for a while. And Pepsi is not as watery as coke.

So for me it's Pepsi!

LadyD22:
¹ Right from when I was still an early teenager , I hardly pictured myself as anyone's spouse but I knew I wanted to be a mom someday .

² it's like a transfer of ownership from your parents to a husband who will pay you to give up your rights to yourself and all that you are.

³ When I'm talking to my friend and she's like , my husband doesn't like me wearing this and he doesn't like me doing that , it drives me crazy to think that could be me one day , if I give in.

⁴ You'll nurse children , you can't even choose how many you want , you can't name the child , you give up your last name and become Mrs Smith , mama junior , iyawo Smith.

⁵ That's how I realized I don't even know know my lecturers name we know her only as her husband's name ,i don't want that , I don't like it.

⁶ People argue that marriage guarantees security , what happens when I am already secure? They said it guarantees that the person will be with you forever and never leave , yet most men responsible or irresponsible all have women other than their wives , argue from now till tomorrow.

⁷ Why would I be happy that the only reason a person can't leave me is because of the LAW
everyone should have the right to leave if they choose to , I think this is the best way to feel secure when you understand that they're here because they want to be.

⁸ When the idea first came to me I thought of it as revenge to my mother but after lingering over the subject for years I realized it was a desire, not just a revenge tactic

⁹ I realized a woman like me prefers to have adventures , travel , work , I don't want to stop meeting new people and learning new things , the older I get the more I accept this side of me that will soon become the prayer point of all my friends and family.

¹⁰ All the couple's that I've seen closeup have made marriage look like an endurance game , some turn bloody others just worsen your mental health ,
The threats of keep yourself well , talk nicely , smell nicely , learn how to cook and clean otherwise you might not FIND a husband to marry , makes me cringe , these are just basic life skills why should it revolve around anyone other than me , that just makes me not want to do it anymore.

¹¹ Is marriage really a compulsory thing for everyone? Why do people make it look like it is a crime to not get married at all?

On your first statement. Your little fantasy is the reason many children are delinquent. Children raised in homes without a father record terrible life outcomes. Clearly this is about your fantasy and not the welfare of the innocent child you are contemplating of bringing to this world, doomed to be raised without a father. Enlighten yourself: https://www.all4kids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/#:~:text=We%20know%20that%20children%20who,or%20end%20up%20in%20prison.

On your second statement. Oh so you had no rights under your parents. Your parents own you by your own admission. Okay so if you had no rights as a daughter why are you seeking rights as a wife. In your statement you contradicted yourself even. The transfer of ownership is the reason you lost your so called rights and not because he pays you. He could have paid a pr0stitute does it mean the pr0stitute doesn't have rights to her body after the transaction is done?

On your third statement. Husband and wife shape each other. Yorubas will say "ile oko ile eko ni". Your marital home is a place of learning. And places of learning are places of change. Wives change and husbands change. However this is only the case if the man is a husband indeed and the woman is a wife indeed.

On your fourth statement. Did you give yourself your last name while you were in your father's house? I will only respect your statement here if you can boldly change your surname from your father's surname to any surname of your choosing. It is then that you have the moral high ground to complain about giving up your surname after getting married. It is then you will have the moral high ground to reject the surname of any man for your would be kids.

On your fifth statement. If your lecturer were not married you would still not know her name (and I suspect it's a her) because she would be referred to by her father's name just as you are currently being referred to. Ladies of your type should boldly go to your fathers, who happen to be the ones talking care of your needs, and declare that you have changed your surname to a female name of your choosing. So if you were once Jennifer Babatunde, change it to Jennifer Cynthia and then we would know you are serious.

On your sixth statement. Marriage guarantees what the couples mutually agree and strive to make the marriage guarantee. The couples decide the outcomes of the marriage. Many ladies and men go into marriage as con artists, withholding information and strategizing to maximize their payoffs in the game of marriage. I can guess that this is the norm is more tha 90% of marriages and that is why marriage seems like a scam. Marriages can never be better than the couples that constitute it.

On your seventh statement. Which planet have you been living in? Perhaps you just woke up from a 20 year slumber. The law of the land allows couples of separate from each other when they want to. Many like you are on their 3rd, 4th, 5th,...nth husband/lover where 'n' is any positive integer greater than 100. So what's the fuss.

On your eight statement. Revenge on your mom? Your mom that is in a passing generation? Your thoughts are interesting. A masochist would like to live rent free in your head.

On your ninth statement. It's good you like these things but I am certain these things you have mentioned will not fill up the void of your heart when you are past 50. Many ladies who thought the way you are thinking now regretted their life choices when they were old. They had money, amazing credentials, great influence and a lot of luxury but yet they battle with depression, mania and suicidal thoughts. Liberal ladies like yourself end up having regular visits to the shrink's office. Here is a research paper for you to enlighten yourself: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/339541044_Mental_illness_and_the_left

On your tenth statement. I can't help but notice how one sided your submission is. Men also endure a lot. The stupidity that many wives bring to the table is enough raise their husbands systolic/diastolic blood pressure numbers by 100mmHg. The other day an outstandingly stupid woman donated her husband's car to her pastor without her husband's knowledge. Another supremely idiotic woman secretly invested her husband's life savings in crowdfunding scam. Men also endure a ton of crap from amazingly stupid women.

On your last statement I referenced. Marriage is not compulsory. Those who make it look like "singleness" is a crime are ignorant of what marriage really is. Real men who are headed to a worthy destination but have challenges that they must surmount get married to a helper who is also headed in to his destination and is capable of providing the needed support. The man's job is to perpetually build his wife into a highly potent weapon and the wife's job is to yield to her wielder, her husband. Together they make a formidable warrior in the unending battles of life.

I will advise you to study more. Interview those who have gone ahead of you. Speak with people in successful marriages and those whose marriages have failed. Study the books of fine thinkers. Let your ideals be shaped by thorough research and investigation.

In other words, grow up!

SultanOfAbia:
Everytime girls keep saying they love guys that go straight to the point.
Guys that are honest bla bla bla
Guys that are confident go to The point
If you want sex just say it. Instead of beating around the bush.

Oya nowww... i tried it on sunday. I went to shoprite and searched for any decent girl that look hot. I approach the first girl
She was responding well and smilling until i said "for real i want to fvck you" then she looked confused and i repeat that the reason i approach her is because i want to fvck her.
The babe look me one kind eye, and left me

Ode, is it every fish you will use hook to catch? Na so you go wan use hook catch blue marlin both you and hook go enter fish belle. You need to size up girls ode. Is it every girl that wants to satisfy your maniacal desires. Size the girl up, confirm she is a h0rny hoe, declare your intentions sharply and ask for her terms and conditions...den you tesiwaju on your way to hell. It's that simple!

Badboibipo:
If you’re in your 30s as a man please avoid anyone below the age I just described. They are still in their “I am the wicked, I am the nicki Minaj bad bitch” phase in life. They have zero brain most times and they only want to wear big polo and dance “mofejoko” on TikTok while collecting daily, weekly salary from you for giving you the privilege of dating the “queeen nicki Barbie”.

If you are bored of just empty sexxxx and want anything genuine and real, search for older women if they even have a kid out of wedlock even better. Those ones are very mature, understanding and down to earth most times. They have finished their “nicki Minaj bad bitch Barbie” phase and are genuinely humbled with their age and are ready if they see you’re hardworking and serious.

Those young ones are just starting life and have no real experience yet, they are extremely dramatic and attention seeking while having the mentality that the world revolves around their arse and boobs and they feel entitled to every mans attention and adoration.

If you’re young as a woman don’t even bother to like me please , because I will not only see you as a toddler I will even buy you cracker biscuits and Fanta to make you go play in the rain as the baby that you are.

Mature women don’t hide their feelings or play too much games, they go straight to the point.

But bruh, these same bad bitch under 27 girls will one day become over 27 and the over 27 girls you are talking about were once under 27 bad bitches. You still run the risk of jumping into the lair of a veteran bad bitch that can mess up your life in the wink of an eye if she sees the opportunity and the rationale to do so. Don't categorize girls by age rather categorize them by character. There are the good ones that are under 27. You just have to search diligently for them and while you do ensure that you are getting into a relationship just to bang and go. If this is what you do then you are part of the problem you are complaining about. You are contributing actively to hoeification of ladies. Ensure that the reason you date is to get married and ensure that the lady you make love to is the one you are ready to marry. With this mind seek a girl with good character in her early years. You will easily know such girls in their early years. In their early years they are naive so their character is easily revealed but when they grow old they become strategic and tactical. So oga catch the good ones young!

Vickho:
change your sleeping position and do not eat heavy meals after 6pm.
stop being superstitious, sleep paralysis is natural and there's no devilish or spiritual connotation to it

Na so. Is this how you solve all problems? A person is explaining how she feels you call it superstition. So many people eat heavy before sleeping and have all kinds of awkward sleeping positions but have never had a single incident of sleep paralysis. If it comes down to eating habits and sleeping styles most people will be having sleep paralysis almost every night so stop deluding yourself.

The sleep paralysis phenomenon is one that many don't understand, cannot diagnose and cannot resolve with medication. This is why after trying every medical and psychological procedures to no avail people become desperate and seek solutions from practically anywhere and this is what leads them to church where some actually get respite from this issue.

Sleep paralysis is demonic. Simple. You can argue all you want. Sleep paralysis cannot be resolved by drugs or psychotherapy. You basically need to deal with the entity responsible.

NzubechiPeru:
Hello Nairalanders,Please What Can I take to last long in bed,My babe is coming to visit for the first time and she is coming this evening.The babe fine die..I usually last 10 minutes,wetin I go take make I reach up to 30 minutes??..I no get erectile dysfunction oo,na just say e no dey hard for me I done cum..Thanks

You want to crossover before new year abi...kontinu!

Borntosmoke:
Pls help me I don't know what this girl to for me. Anytime she bill me money I'm going to give her. 2 months have not bought a single thing on myself. Whenever I collect my salary I will spent the whole salary on this girl I will also borrow money on top the salary to give her. Yesterday she told me to give her money. I refuse to give her. She slap me instantly I don't know when I gave her the money. I went to meet my pastor. My pastor said I should break up with her that she is using dark magic on me that he always know me to be a smart and tough guy. Pls I need help .I don't believe what the pastor said. I love this girl, If I leave her I may commit suicide. This billing is the problem I have with her. She is caring and loving. I believe she can still change her behaviour

Prepare for the suicide then because very soon she will leave you and find the next fool to use her magic on. You are fast running out and by the time your money is not flowing again she will move to the next fool that will also eventually commit suicide if he is not careful...you had better run to a deliverance church and ask them to pray for you. You are under a spell you are talking of love, love ko loaf ni.

Novemberaura:
I'm in love with feminist and want to marry her.

I'm asking cux I just want other people view

Marry her. Nairaland needs the content that you will eventually share.

Novemberaura:
Is there anyone here married to a feminist lady.

I need inputs.

What are the challenges and benefits. Is it really as awful as people say it is

Why do feminist ladies end up not married or have failed marriages.

Feminists believe men and women are EXACTLY EQUAL. So if you marry a feminist you are not the head of the house; she is not going to submit to you and she will have absolute control over her time, body and money just as you do. She decides how many children she wants because it's her body and it's her choice. She is not going to be your cook. She will not be your cleaner and she will not be your assistant. She has absolute control over how she dresses and how she presents herself. She is not subject to you, her husband, in any way. A nanny will raise your kids for you because she will be busy with her career and education. Her standards are high performance, ultra intelligent and accomplished men and she will not sleep or rest until she beats that standard. You will forever be a beta male to her because the alphas are her standard and her ultimate ambition is to beat the alpha males to become the supreme alpha female.

Marry a feminist at your own risk!

Penguin2:
A lot of questions are begging for answers on the Ekweremadu case…

Is the boy 21 or 15?

If he’s 21 and gave consent to the arrangement, why did he turn against the Ekweremadus? And where is the lawyer that represented the boy in the agreement?

If he’s actually 15, why did Ekweremadu not reach his parents?

Now, some people are saying things went south because the boy’s blood did not match that of Ekweremadu’s daughter.

Then I ask, is Ekweremadu so stupid and daft and foolish as to go preparing travel documents for a supposed donor without running tests in Nigeria to confirm if the boy’s blood and kidney matches his daughter’s?

Well, I know what he’s suffering is the result of him putting mouth in Peter Obi matter.

You try to battle a man with grace without facing disgrace.

If the boy is 21 there should consent forms signed and other legal documents to show that he is doing this of his own free will or for pecuniary gains. Ekwerenmadu is a lawyer so he, of all people, should know the critical relevance of proper documentation and approvals. The boy is highly likely younger than 21 and not of consenting age thus rendering documentation and approvals very difficult. The parents may have agreed to this but the boy realizing he could lose his life in the process decided to execute an exit strategy.

Ahhh! With all your getting, get money, for without it you may sell your soul cheaply to the least bidder!

SugarGirl44:
One of the major reasons why women endure bad marriages is because of what the society would say.
Who is that society?
It is your fellow women mostly, they tell you to endure with a bad man and pray for him to change, they mock youk, stylishly remind you of your pain and shame you for taking a self centered decision if you dare leave.

The screnshorts below is a typical example of how women have been abused and they're so used to it that they are not even aware, and therefore have made it a norm, to the point that they would even make series of excuses for the men that are tormenting them.
I think the rise in child molestatiin is on the increase for this purpose, because the men perpetuating these acts know that most of their wives are weak and foolish, and they'll cover up their heinous acts.

Just imagine responses that are coming out of the mouths of these women.

The real question is why do most of you ladies end up marrying fools provided that these fools have money, house, car and can meet your stupid needs? Why? Most of you ladies are responsible for retaining masculine foolishness in the gene pool. If you keep accepting the proposals of fools you will keep perpetuating their genes in the next generation of boys. This is why we increasingly keep having fools among men and why these fools (who make up most of the society) defend all manner of marial anomaly. You ladies are complicit.

ebuka10box:
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.

This is the point where you have to practice the role of a father. You have to be firm and resolute in your decision making. Open up more investment opportunities. For example you can transform the car into a Uber/Bolt car and make some money from it. If you fear your siblings will sell the car behind your back employ someone else to do the job and collect returns. As for the land, if it is a big land, more than 2 plots, you can sell one plot and with the money setup a shop for consumer goods based on what you observe is fast moving in your area. Hold yourself accountable, carry your siblings along by showing them the receipts of your transactions and ensure that no one feels cheated or sidelined.

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

She vanished for 2 months and now she is back. You need to call for a family meeting with the parents of the girl and your parents. Before you accept her she needs to tell everyone where she has been for 2 months, how she has been fending for the kids and why she is returning back now. She must provide sensible answers to all 3 questions before her family and your family. Next take the children she left with for medical check up and also request the woman to run the same medical tests you ran before you wedded her and request for the results. If the family meeting goes well and the medical results show she is in good health. Accept her back into your home and give her 1 month before you start sleeping with her again. Within that 1 month put a close eye on her. Infact before she moves back into the house bug the house (hidden cameras etc). Never put yourself at her mercy because her return may be to kill you. So ensure your property papers, bank statements, etc are out of her reach. Ensure she is not your next of kin on any of your properties for now.

Jasiman:
Good morning Nairalanders, please I need urgent help.

My relationship is on the verge of break up due to genotype issue and I sincerely need your advice. I will appreciate if medical experts on this field and those with experience can help out and Share their experience.

I love this lady so much and she's everything any man can pray for except for the genotype. She equally love me so much as well.
On her part, she has booked consultation with doctors and all they keep telling her isn't good at all. No hope at all.

On my part, I have this strong believe that we will give birth to health kids since we are not planning on having much. Maximum of three.
I have also done some researches and also heard about "bridgeclinic". I don't know if it will work and the success rate.

Please, is there any hope at all or not.
I really appreciate your advice as I anticipate them.
Thank you

Please ��� mod.

Imagine you both had "compatible genotypes" and can get married, how would you handle difficult challenges when they arise in your marriage? Particularly those challenges that defy all solutions you know of. Would you rather end the marriage? Imagine you get married and find out that your wife has a tumour that keeps growing back. You have tried the medical approach and your wife has undergone like 5 operations and your doctor says he or she cannot perform another operation on your wife because it could claim her life but unfortunately the tumor is back. Now what will you do? Will you end the marriage?

This is the problem with the modern day generation. The moment we see a problem we immediately apply evasive maneuvers forgetting that no matter how we try we must face challenges. Your challenge now is genotype matching, and just like that hypothetical problem regarding a tumour, which you think cannot be solved and your doctors have declared you cannot wed the woman of your choice.

Well, you can pray to God when you reach the final busstop of all the solutions you know. You can try God when all of your options have been exhausted. You and your spouse to be should go to God in prayer. Some have recorded supernatural change of genotype and they got married. Your case may also be like that. Good speed.

Stephen2324:
No matter how sad their story is , don't let anybody move into your house.

100% truth...try this at your own risk. If you must help a person in this regard give them the funds to get an apartment. Don't let strangers into your home.

Adeleketoyin:
My people please I need your advice.

I'm having a lil loggerhead with my Fiance.

My fiance works in a company, which doesn't give him time to come home or live in his rented apartment for long.
I currently run a confectionery shop in my father's house.

My Fiance however wants to have a joint account with me when we get married soon in this my confectionery business. According to him, he'll support me, to help him get free in the future to stop his salary work and probably start another business without affecting the family.

But I don't want to have any joint account or partner with anyone in this my confectionery business. I want my business without any check or partner.
He's insisting on joint account to run the business and its getting into our relationship.

Please what do you advice?

Aunty whoever you cannot trust with your finances should not be your husband. Unless ofcourse the reason you are marrying him is for his wealth. You must be aligned in every possible way with your spouse. Any area where you are not united with your spouse becomes the origin of animosity, violence and divorce. If you do not agree with your fiance joining his finance with your I will advice you to call the relationship off. You will not like the consequences of marrying such a man. It will end badly.

2saviourfriday9:
What is your biggest fear about marriage?

Secrets, Money and Temptations...You see these three, I can guess that they account for 99% of all divorces.

Toks2008:
Women Need Love and Men Need Respect but the problem is that men want to be respected before showing love to their women whilst the women want to be loved and cared for first by their men before showing respect to them and this has been a strong bone of contention for ages even in matrimonial circles.

One of the biggest mistakes many married women make is that they believe that the way they act towards their husbands should be dependent on the way they are treated by their husbands but this is not true and a total deviation from Scriptural teachings...IN FACT, IT IS THE OTHER WAY ROUND...

The Islamic Sharee'ah stresses that the wife is under the obligation of obeying her husband. This remains unless he commands her to disobey Allah The Exalted. She is required to obey him and exert her utmost effort to fulfill his needs in a way that makes him satisfied and thankful.

This is supported by the hadeeth where the Prophet, said: “If the woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter the Paradise of her Lord.” Likewise, Allah The Exalted

And also in the Bible...
1 Peter 3 vs 1-2
"Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words but by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence in the lives of their wives."

This is very simple and straight forward...GOD wants unconditional respect from the wife towards her husband EVEN WHEN THEIR HUSBANDS DO NOT OBEY THE SCRIPTURES...by so doing, the husbands will be won over by their acts and draw close to GOD.

This is not expunging men from loving and caring for their wives and no right thinking man should treat his wife badly even if she does not respect him but this verse clearly places a premium on a wife respecting her husband WHICH SHOULD NOT BE DEPENDENT ON THE WAY THE MAN TREATS HER and by so doing, the man will most likely love her back and treat her so well beyond her wildest dreams. This is very difficult but I believe there is a reason GOD wants it this way...

Show me a man that divorced a submissive and respective wife and I WILL SHOW YOU A MAD MAN.

No matter how sweet a lady may seem to act towards her husband and no matter how a lady thinks it's best to express love to her hubby, if she fails to respect him then all she does will be efforts in futility

TO MEN, RESPECT IS LOVE...any other thing is secondary.

Both come first because they do not have to come from the same source. Husbands love first before anything else. Wives submit first before anything else. Shikena.

VeryWickedMan:
You are very stupid.
How can someone who paid your eternal olosho fee "violate" you.


When you were writing long bride price list, you didn't know he was paying you for sex in bulk?
Common go back to the room and give him what he has paid for.

Thunder fire you there.

eternal olosho fee kwa una nor go kee pessin.

Alaigbopress:
I came to this Forum to complain about how my Girlfriend always posts pictures of her ex on her Status and uses his pictures as her screensaver.

Here is the link to the thread
[url] https://www.nairaland.com/7133811/girlfriend-keeps-posting-ex-pictures [/url]

After her explanations which looked like Truth. We moved on and I have to make a Counter post where I nearly insulted Nairalanders who came to my help with loads of advice to dump the Girl. Here is the link to the second thread I made which also made the front page.

[url] https://www.nairaland.com/7138678/lost-girl-friend-followed-advice[/url]

Please Nairalanders forgive me for not heeding to your advice, and also the way I spoke to You guys. I am really sorry about that.


This morning I woke up again and went through her Status and saw another guy she posted on her Status. Jokingly I asked her if this is the Okechukwu (not my name) she is talking about and putting Love Emorji for because she has done that several times. So I was expecting her to tell me that the guy is her Cousin or a relation and to my chagrin she told me the guy is her ex and that she just loves the picture.

I now reprimanded and scolded her that I had warned her not to post anything ex both pictures or videos on her Status. That was when this same girl told me that it is over between us that I complain a lot bla bla bla.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS
I am writing this to advise my fellow guys.
Guys please You have to be careful with these girls, some of them are very heartless, wicked and very manipulative.

Today I am joining the Redpill Gang full time.

Una go see babe with olosho vibes come dey try privatize am...I nor know wetin dey worry una. How you take privatize public utility. Na olosho come force you join redpill gang. Wehdone.

twinning200:
guys something have been happening for a while now, signs are there that something unknown could be looming or happening but what happened today is what
made me create this post. My wife is a fashion designer, she goes to tejuosho market to buy materials and sometimes she claims she buys ready made to sell. Sometimes, mostly on Mondays like this, she wont inform me that shes leaving early, and when she does, breakfast is missed, or any other important stuff is sidelined. Overtime we have had discussion on why it is always like this, and her excuse have always been " if i dont meet up early, there are certain materials that i wont be able to get, will be sold out before i reach there" that statement to me sort of like made a little sense, but shouldnt be to the detriment to the responsibility of her as a wife considering the fact that I manage 75% of the home financial responsibility.

So today, I woke up 8.42am, she was gone since, i showered, clothed myself to resume office, by the time i opened the car door, the safe compartment was opened down with all of our international passports, both her passport, my passpport, our kids USA passport all there, my hand fall, immediately. The reason why the passport were there is because we had gone somewhere yesterday to do sometings, and the passports where required, though we forgot to return them back inside when we got back home. The moment I saw the opened down compartment, I did a video and sent it to her via whatsapp, and i stated the obvious that it was because of the rush, she concurred and said she didnt see the passports, common, over 6 passports clearly and obviously showing, next she said the stuff probably didnt close well. Now peeps, is it that bad that rushing to get to the market to get materials could make a woman overlook such important documents being opened to the public eye, because anybody passing on the street can definitely see the passports from the passenger side of the safe compartment, why the rush that u took something out of there and couldnt push it back to lock, or was so much in a rush that in the process of pushing it back, the rushing didnt make her push it back properly to lock. I'm beginning to think something else, who else is thinking what am thinking? Plus if I say we need to regulate her rushment to the market, she go talk sey short men like me are sort of controlling.

"Rushment" ...mehn e be like den born your wife ontop mount Rushmore. Do you two keep separate finances? If yes, then your wife has taken the desire the have an insurance policy more seriously than her role as a wife. You wife is taking money making more seriously than her marriage. Are you cheating on her sir? If yes, then your wife is likely arming herself financially to be independent of you... it's your marriage, deal with it!