₦airaland Forum

calmandwild101:
Thanks so much for this piece

You are welcome dear

Star4lyf:
Good day, my people. Pls I really need advice from u guys. I am 34 years plus, never been in a relationship. As a matter of fact, I am a virgin.
Presently, there is a particular family in which the mother wants me to date her daughter. I just lost my job,I don't have much of cash presently, and going into a relationship now, I am really confused. The girl is really into me. I really don't know if I should accept this. I am just confused.Pls help me out.

Modified

Relationship kick-started.After like three days,
She just told me last night that she loves me via a message.I have not even replied up till now.I am beginning to sense that I may lose my virginity soonest o.

For how long do you intend to keep your virginity

Besides you can still be friends without sex, it all depends on you

You are a virgin and wants to go into a relationship with a non virgin

Can you deal with it
As in no sex relationship
Will she accept it

Well because you need a job, you can maintain a no sex relationship while you find your bearing

If pregnancy occurs you must definitely be a bye force Dad

Bulletproofgt:
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Is it automatic or manual

calmandwild101:
Good day my NLers. am here again to seek for your sincere advise.Am in my late 30s and life has been treating me so tough that I have to accept my present circumstances. Our last born is doing very well with her biz in Lagos and she asked me to come and handle a foodstuffs shop she’s about to acquire so life can be easier for me to live and I accept.I have been at the shop now and the people that were using are putting me thru some necessary things.I stayed with her,son and her apprentice who stayed with her.i sleep in the sitting room.I travelled down to IB to get few clothes.we were supposed to travel down ogun state before I preoceed to IB but she couldn’t made it due to her busyness. She gave me 4K to transport myself down to IB.i got to IB and am suppose to leave the following day but I had to stayed for a day to make an enquiry on certain foodstuff here at IB before I move back to Lag.i am so reluctantly to call her for transport fare back to Lag but I had no choice than to call her for the tf. But immediately I called her that am coming to Lagos tomorrow morning that how far before I could finish my word she just said how far about what I said am coming back tomorrow morning the next she said was I should come back whenever I want.i felt like sharp object just struck my heart. tho I had message her earlier this morning on WhatsApp that am coming back tomorrow morning.her response really made me felt bad honestly.tho she was a good girl to me financially.To God who made me I am ready to handle her shop with one mind and am wondering whenever I need money for some personal issue.how am I going to handle that or would I still keep asking her for money which I don’t really like.

I think you need to study her more to know when to ask for money or not

There might be some attitude about you that she may not be comfortable with

There could be some other things she may have observed in you that may be turning her off

So I think for now stay there and understand all you need to understand and also her mood swing

With time, you could be saving little money to sort out yourself incase she doesn't give you

But mind you she is still observing you all her eyes are on her business and those around you

EmekaStanley:
I hired a lady last week Monday and fired her on Friday same week. I concluded she was not ready yet.

This lady came almost 2 hours late for interview without communicating her reason. If she was going to be late, she should inform the interviewer. Red flag.

I ignored that and decided to proceed with the interview. I decided not to conclude on her based on the interview outcome. I love giving people chances.

I offered her the job, she was excited. She was sent an offer letter which she accepted. On resumption date, this lady came late for work. First day at work. I was like 'Is this 24 year old lady innocently naïve or what?".

On Friday last week, this lady came to work by 10.55am. He work time is 8.00am, and she is an office admin. I was on my seat and sighted her walking in, I had to call her and told her to go back home, and that was it.

By the way, she lives like 15 minutes away from the office, and her route is always against traffic.

I wouldn't know when she resumed from Tuesday to Thursday because I came quite late on those days due to field engagements. When I resumed, I met her sleeping twice. After that, she abandoned her work and stepped out to answer a phone call for almost 1 hour.

My experience with this lady made me understand that a lot of people looking for work are not ready for/to work.

ES

They want to work for the money not for the passion to work

They want freedom to move around and come to work at their convenient time for even is it means coming late, to them the most important thing is that they came to work

Lastly, they are not really humble to submit themselves to be loyal

This is as a result that they lack experience and have little or no experience about life and sufferings and why someone should be serious with life

officialwdhtv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oe4uh-OcURM

I am no longer in love with my husband that brought me from Nigeria to the UK - Lady says

Take a listen and tell us what you think.

#wetindeyhappentv

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CshnDj3ATOh/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

They were never in love with each other especially the wife

She was just waiting for an opportunity to leave and now is the right time

Kingsley123456:
It was last week Thursday, before my journey to Ekiti for my sister's budgeted wedding, ..couldn't even remember what took my mind to Dammy my Ex girlfriend, the last time we talked was almost one and a half yr ago...after trying 2 to 3 numbers offhand, I got the right contact to her and we talked mostly about life and location,...to my surprised last night when I returned home , we chatted and she asked me if I could afford to impregnate her even without being responsible for the pregnancy and the child, she said "I don't need husband or sugar daddy but I need a baby"
Apart from the fact that she's older than me , I have a 12yr old daughter already, and I have my girlfriend currently (not the mother of my child) so it's obvious I won't marry her, But should I help her? but I'm scared she wouldn't stop on a child , she will need more sooner or later..
Advice me my people, what do I do ?? I know what she's feeling, she's 38yrs old now.

Its left for you to accept such a risky request and be ready to face it was if it comes out negative

Meanwhile you both can put it into agreement that it's for one child amd she will not use it against you neither will she request for you to play your role as a father

But bear in mind that if it comes out to be a baby boy and you couldn't get a boy from your woman

Will you go back to claim that child, if yes then the agreement is useless

So it's a 50/50 thing

Whichever way it comes out be ready to deal with it

But left for me to it's a NO

Women are smart and you may not know her intentions untill she is done with you

Assuming she was intelligent enough, she would have renewed your relationship with her and become pregnant then start this drama of wanting a child by all means

That will be fine

The final decision is yours

Anfield247:
Recently, let me say two to three weeks ago, my mom came back from church, discussing about an upcoming traditional marriage and wedding ceremony of the daughter of one of her church members with my dad. They were busy, I mean my mom and dad were busy talking about how the groom is a wealthy man and how the marriage will be glorious

I didn't even pick interest because I got better things to think about.
The bride-to-be is a graduate from akwa ibom, while the groom-to-be, on the other hand, is a pastor of one popular church in Nigeria, I won't mention the name of the church because not all their pastors are the same.

When they started the relationship, the pastor was rushing everything, he was like he can't wait to marry this pretty damsel.

According to the story, the parents of the both families have met each other, and some part of the traditional marriage has been done.
Everything was going according to plans, they even brought out a pre-wedding photo, which I myself saw on her Facebook. Here is how the marriage took a new twist,

Now, three days to the traditional marriage, the groom-to-be came out and said he's not getting married to the Bride anymore, that is no longer interested in the marriage.

When they asking why, he said it was because of the bride price list they gave to him.

Now, his church said there's no problem about that, that they will sponsor everything, the pastor still vehemently insisted that he is no longer interested in the marriage...

The parents of the girl said the marriage list is always open for negotiation, that it is not compulsory to pay everything at once, or even everything no the list to be paid,The young man still said no.

Now the marriage has been called off and the girl is heart-broken.

My Mom follow the mother of the bride-to-be to do the shopping.
They even invited so many people to the marriage ceremony but it unfortunately ended in the most unbelievable way...

What could possibly be the reason behind his decision?
Can a man go as far as performing some traditional marriage rite just to sleep with a girl?
Could it be because of the list?
Or can infantuation drive a man to do the unthinkable?
Could it be spiritual manipulation or just the matter of choice?

There must be something wrong some where

The woman may not be aware but the man was already done

Dont be surprise the man was still having double mind till he did the marriage introduction and was still contemplating if to go on or not

Yungmil:
Please guys am seriously in confusion right now on what to do, I work in a tomato company in Kano state.

My supervisor who is related to the owner of the stole my money about 70k.

Now my confusion is if I should report him or not because he is our supervisor and the company only listens to him and not the other workers.

Am scared if I go ahead and report him I might end up being affected. They all speak housa which I don't.

It is only both of us in the office, yet he denied it. I don't have any other job yet

Please should what should I do?

Its very painful but if you can endure the loss pls do

Nect time don't keep any money around where he is

If you report amd he denies you may be fired

Is only God that can judge

Barezzoflagos:
This is the best advice so far..

Thanks dear

ExAngel007:
https://punchng.com/over-70-nigerian-foods-rejected-abroad-nafdac-2/

How old is this woman sef?
I think we need an active head to revamp that Agency

If the worst case is staying an extra session, so far he will meet up, let him sumon courage

PaNnamdi:
U are crazy.if u have nothing to contribute pls you could have kept quiet.me and u nor dey the same category offline.I don't tolerate idiots with nothing to show for life to come and ruin this thread be warned

Mr Donald trump ass licker

It has not gotten to that stage
We can't be solving problems with insults and abuse

Let's just learn to tolerate each other to the point we can no longer do

Resurrection212:
You are silly boy go and face your miserable life that is fading away if care not taking you will not graduate. You will become big brother in campus.

Are you wishing him luck or you are swearing for him

Comon we are our brothers keeper

Let's put other people's emotions into consideration

ChinemeremFidel:
My girlfriend always disturb me to visit her and I do avoid it because I really don't want sex for now..
She is the first I will ever have.

So today I decided to visit her,we made out mouth pleasure but I did not have sex because first she was a virgin and secondly she was on her period.

After satisfying each other ,she started crying to squashing one of her principles.
Then me on the other hand have never had sex before so I was really ashamed of what I did...

She called me on the phone and was crying in guilt that I broke her laws and principles...I took the whole blame...

She then broke up with me...
And I really love this girl.

She is beautiful,never asked me for money, smart, intelligent and brave.

I am just confused right now

Dont worry she will come back

Keep sending chats of greetings and asking after her well being

But if she comes back this time around, do the needful

And if you can't do the needful end your communication with her immediately

Go and work on how to get down so that when you get another girl friend

You will not fail yourself again

Women don't like men who doesn't know what to do when given the opportunity

Godoverevery:
This thread isn't intended to bash any woman but just to let them no we men ain't fools cos I don't no why women will hardly make sacrifice for a man family but will expect the man to be making sacrifices for her own.

Sometime last year my mum wanted to do a little hosting of her follow market women in the house so she needed a caterer to help with food needed for the day. I was to sort that out for her while my other siblings sort the rest.

My fiancee happens to be into catering I had a discussion with her to help cook it.....it was food meant for 50 guest and she sent me a quotation of 120k.

This someone who practically staying with me and am the one taking care of everything.....we had lot of back and forth over it and she said 90k is the last she can do it for.
I beg this lady to collect 70k but she told me 70k will only cook jollof rice with beef while swallow wont be included.
I paid the 90k with pain in my heart cos I felt she wasn't considerate at all cos she knew my financial status at the time and she still used the gas in the house to prepare everything(she made about 30k gain out of me cos she later jabo herself)........no family in business right.

When My mum asked who cook the food I just told her a former school mate cos it will be somehow telling her my fiancee collected that amount for the food.
(Had it been my aunties were around am sure It won't cost up to 50k to cook that food)

Now table has turned her dad need my services which will cost him normally around 450k but am ready to render it for 300k.

Her mum called telling her to plead with me to do It for 200k that her dad doesn't really have money which means I will have to add 100k of my own money to get the equipment since am not charging installation fee.

She brought up the matter yesterday and I clearly reminded her what she did when I needed her to cook for my mum meeting and we really exchanged harsh words.

She later called her mum to inform them to get someone else to do the job that I can't do it.
Am close to her mum and I don't want to create this impression of not being a good potential son inlaw.

So am thinking of calling her mum today and explaining everything to her ....so she can understand things properly or should I just lock up.....(advice needed).

Honestly I want to pay her back for what she did cos she not even remorseful saying she even did me a favor collecting the 90k for the food.

What the lady did was just a disappointment from her to you

I expected her to tell you to bring the 90k and a sheet of paper then ask you to follow her to the market.

While you hold the money, she will be picking the food stuff and items needed for the cooking and you will be putting their prizes on the paper.

After everything you guys will calculate what you spent on shopping and cooking.

Ofcouse money will remain from the 90k, then she can now ask you to give her anything you can from the balance of the money you guys have left with you

Or share it into two and give you half and take half

That is what we call trust and transparency

But she goofed because she was greedy for the money, forgetting the fact that this is a lady both of you have future plans

How was she able to look at your face after everything knowing that you were robbed and cheated by a close friend of which it affected your pocket

Well you have a lesson to learn there if you think deep

Then for her family, no need to report her, her conscience will keep beating her
Dont do the job, just leave them to try another person
Ooohhh

One day the truth will come out, 100k in addition to the job is not picked from the Bin

Cyril123456:
Please kindly refer to this thread below to understand where I'm coming from, I am the boy being referred to in the post and I'll leave Some pictures of some of my previous University documents to prove it.

https://www.nairaland.com/7642728/nairalanders-please-first-son-behaving
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm typing this with tears in my eye's right now, Just wondering how long I can continue like this before I decide to end it all. I don't just know how and why my life turned out to be like this. I don't know what I did to deserve all these emotional suffering I'm currently facing. My parents most especially my dad are slowly pushing me to suicide. Today he came to my room while I was busy studying somethings with my laptop, broke the iron used in locking the door from behind, and seized the keys to make sure my room door is always opened. just because while they were doing Bible studies in the parlour, I was studying somethings with my laptop in my room and locked the door to reduce noise and distractions.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM28Qc4nC/

Nairalanders please I need your advice. I'm contemplating on selling my Laptop to move out of this house, even if it means I'll be living under a bridge, at least the money can sustain me till I can find something doing. I bought this laptop some months back for 100k because I wanted to Learn programming and I had to work at a cyber cafe from 7-7 for three months, save every single penny from my salary and even starve myself on some occasions, just to be able to afford it because when I asked my father for 60k to buy a lower quality laptop, he blatantly refused to help me.
I just don't know what else to do. I believe if I don't leave this place soon, I might end up taking my life because my dad has a gun in our house and I'm beginning to see it as an easy way out from all my sufferings

mynd44 nlfpmod lalasticlala
farano justwise

Obviously you are simply tired of that man and that home

He may be the stubborn type of dad that doesn't go close yob his children to understand their mood

If you know that you can afford to feed yourself and get a room and still pay uoir school fees then follow your heart

But if you cant, then when you go back to school remain there till you can tolerate whatever happens in that house

As it is now, start planning on how to stand on your feet with no support from anywhere, it will help you to build up yourself

I don't even know why your mum was not mentioned in this report

The only thing I can say is that he brought all these to himself

I don't even know how safe she is with him

ebubeson:
Please advise: Is it good for married men to do DNA test when their kids are little, to prevent future issues? Does it really make sense?or should they progress by faith and leave it.

DNA comes in when you suspect your spouse and have enough evidence that she is having an affair even when about to be pregnant

Some children's behavior makes a man to do a DNA test to be sure it's his blood

But then it can be done at any age so far you are capable of paying for the test

Kelvin3476:
same goes to a man .
u should also accept that from a man

Read my mentions on that post, we both agreed and he uses my children too
Haba 🙁

bukatyne:
Mama de mama!

😂😂😂

CHoccolaTE:
How come men are never advised to pray and fast for their wives when the wives misbehave?
I am just coming from the thread about that woman whose husband keep wasting money on gambling and there are many comments there asking her to pray and fast for him.

If a woman is the one displaying lousy parenting or partnership there is usually so much castigation for her and in many cases, her husband is advices to punish or cheat on her or even divorce her.

I can't imagine a man starting a thread about how his wife leaves the house dirty all the time, doesn't cook or clean and has refused to take advice or change for the better and then that man will be adviced to pray and fast for his lousy wife.
I can't just imagine that scenario. The man will be told to send his wife packing or to get another wife.

Many people really think the verse in the Bible about husband's showing their wives love and leading with love is just there for decoration.

Your question is veey right about women praying for their husband and men don't pray for their wives as women does for men

You see the moment a man marry's, the house the family and the marriage is now under the management of his wife

So she keeps praying for God to take authority and control over her marriage

When a man is progressing, his wife's prayes are part of what makes him to progress

When a man is happy, his wife attitude is what makes him happy

When a man starts living a bad life, the wife is the one that will pray to God to briyhim out of that bad life

When a man is womanizing, the wife prays to God to stop him from such life

When a man is irresponsible, the wife prays to God to teach him how to carry out his responsibility

When a man does the unthinkable a woman still prays for either success or failure to him

Men are always distracted by so many things including women, drinking, gambling, clubbing and other bad vices, so they do to even have time for prayers

Dont be surprise that in some homes, their dad doesn't go to church but makes sure the wife and children goes ans still give them money for offering and transportation where need be

The niaja mentality has made it clear that a man can be married and still misbehave, so the wife will either accept it or leave it the way it is, so she doesn't ha e any option that you to pray for the man and gid always answer their prayers before you know it you will start seeing changes in the man and the woman will just be laughing that God has answered her prayers but the man doesn't know that her prayers made it possible

That same mentality made women to be seen as people who must be organized and don't mess up

Men believes that they don't need to pray for their wife's because if she mess up you move out and get another one

Forgetting that you are still going to meet another bad one

ayourbamie:
The man is the head of the home. Period..

For the fact that he is the head of the home is the more reason he needs to be praying for God's grace to carry on with his family

sonofthunder:
No ma'am, women aren't made for men's pleasure.... Unless you are talking about woke fornicating members of the population. Look around you, what proportion of men still find pleasures in their wife's? How many women live for the pleasure of their husbands?

You are also wrong @ second paragraph. Women generally manipulate and "buy over" the children and in some cases turn them against their father's out of selfishness.


A man and a woman are to come together in agreement to start their own family/culture/way of life. They may choose to carry on some things from their original families. The man is also very well expected to carry his wife's family as he would his own unless selfishness is creeping up in him.


So you still don't think the man should "belong" to the woman?

I think you have a different mindset about marriage and women

So at this point no need for more talk about it, because it will not change your perception

Adranidoo:
Controversial Nigerian lawyer and social media influencer, Ifunanya Excel has said she doesn’t want to get married or have children because it would “tie” her down.

She stated this in a recent interview with Yangi Media.

She said, “I am very ambitious. And I know marriage and children will tie me down. I grew up in a certain kind of home where me and my siblings experienced a lot of emotional neglect from our parents. And because of that, I have grown to know what is expected of me as a parent. I know that if I’m going to have a child, I have to give my child a 100 per cent dedication.

"And looking at my life and my goals and the things I want to achieve, I know that I won’t be able to adequately be a present parent and also be chasing my dreams. So, I just think it’s best not to have any.”

Ifunanya said people always tell her that with time her mindset would change but she does not think it will.

She added that everyday she sees reasons why her mindset on marriage and children will never change.

Its her choice and we have to respect that
But when the real time comes, she will beg to have what she doesn't need now

Roomateneeded:
Hello everyone,

For three consecutive night 2, I have been waking up exactly two, scared and feeling like someone is watching me.

I live alone in an environment far from my state. Nobody knows me around here. The thing is, I have terrible dreams before waking up by that time and I can't even recall any of them again. Also, my business is now being affected negatively.

Please I need help.

You need deliverance from unseen enemies of your life and business

You can go to MFM prayer city for their one week deliverance where you will go through fasting and prayers

Let me see that demon that calls your name at midnight if he will try such hunting on you in a prayer city

I have come to understand in life that we must keep praying and going for prayers because the devil is always looking for who to drag to his dark kingdom but with steady prayers, you will be too hot to come near as the fire of God is with you

JungleJustice01:
Similar to my line of thought as well.

Thanks

JungleJustice01:
Both parents have passed no will was left. I basically leave the rents collected from the house rent to my only younger brother.

Now the house is deteriorating and I want to fix it, like give it a major facelift but the funds will be coming from me entirely. I don't have a personal house of mine but I believe an overhaul of this place can give leverage to increase the rent as it is in a good part of town.

My fear is after this investment, will I be able to recoup any funds? If I am to pass away, will my kids have any access to the property?

I love my brother but I've heard and read stories of human behavior especially in situations where there is no documentation.

What do I do?

You have a good plan but however, you have to be careful with the way you want to go about it with out a legal backing

If am the one, I will seat my younger brother down and let him know my plans

Then remind him that he has been collecting rents and you don't normally ask him about the money that comes out of it

Tell him that you want to renovate the house and give it a face lift to generate more incomes for both of you

In this case, you will both meet a lawyer who will draft it with his letter headed paper for an agreement that after all the renovation and it's now having a befitting look for rentals,
You both will divide whatever money that comes into from the rent

So it's now left for you to divide it into two and take half or divide it into three and take two portions because you are the one that sponsored it and untill after you recover the money spent from the renovation then before you will now be sharing it into two equal parts for both of you

If he agrees, get it documented with a lawyer and on a written paper signed by both of you and sealed with the lawyer stamp and sealed with a sticker by the lawyer

Then take the same documents to court precisely state court and both of you can swore an affidavit to back it up with your passport pictures on it

All these is because of the children you guys will have and your wife's too so that non one will claim sole ownership of th I inherited property

As that goes on put down every expensis and back it with receipt and write every expensis down in a book always invite him to go through your reports and if possible take pictures with him as before, during and after the face lift print those pictures out as evidence , after the completion of the project, type out all you have writen and let him sign that he is aware of the said expenses and he was a witness to it
With this, you will not have any issues in future and if issues comes up

You have documented proves and enough evidence

doggedfighter:
Never seen this brutal side of you.

You came blazing.

Some one requested for it so I served it hot and since then he went cold

OVB123:
It is unfortunate my dear.

Very soon unfortunate

sonofthunder:
Lol... "We"

This proves the argument that women love men intrinsically for the value they offer, only men love women for real.... And women's love is always direct to herself, children and former family..... The man who provides and cares for her is usually a distant last.

I guess it's really a man's world.

Women are made for men's pleasure
So a man will have to love a woman for real

Children are made for mothers/women, that's why they can't compromise their children for anything

As for family is a married woman is expected to carry her father's family and her husband's family along with her

At the end both mother and children still belongs to the man

Ronaldo723:
My girlfriend of 8 months has broken up with me because she says I have no plans for her

I was surprised by the outburst cus she is still very young just 19 I don't know what she means by this statement because non of us are ready to marry now

I love this girl so much... I suspect that because her birthday is coming up next month and I haven't said anything about it so she feels I don't take her seriously


I have pleaded and talked to her but she is adamant about her decision that she is tired as I'm wasting her time


I haven't talked about her birthday yet cuz I'm having a hard time, things are pretty tight with me but she just can't understand


Please guys what should I do I'm truly in love with this girl that I'm having a hard time moving on

I think you just have to move on because you are yet to get a woman that will be ready and willing to weather the storm with you

How are you expected to talk about a birthday, when your are already in a tight corner

Who do you want to impress?

Find your bearings first, there are more birthdays to celebrate for anyone

But there are no much time again for you to waste what you are managing on

Am glad she left with what she will regard as her excuse

Go back to the river, there are more fishes to be caught there