Oviebright:
I'm 24 years of age finished nysc and graduated a couple of years ago. Job searching but nothing tangible out of it.

I'm opportuned as my family members are ready to sponsor me to study abroad but we're not rich just a average Nigeria family who can raise funds to do it. But the thing is that I'm having double minds as to whether to lobby and pay for a federal government job or start making plans to leave naija but the problem is that the money is there but no connect there.

What do you think I should decide ON?

Whether to stay in naija and lobby for a federal job or Start making plans to go abroad? But the thing is that we can gather the money to buy a slot if possible but no connect.

Please moderators give your opinions.

If you are leaving Nigeria, ensure you are going to an English speaking country where you will get work permit and consequently permanent residence after your studies. Canada, Australia and the US are your best places in that order. You may not readily get work permit in the US after your studies except you studied a STEM course so, Canada and Australia are your best options. Needless to say, japa is the best thing to do, even 70year olds want to leave Nigeria so, you a youth should take a cue from that.

airsaylongcome:


Try jobs.crossover.com. Jobs start from $15/hr. But the screening is intense o. Midway through two applications. Na blood

Also had an interview last week for a small VOIP business in California. Expecting a reply today or tomorrow

For the crossover.com opening. Don't rush. Practice aptitude tests well.

Their procedure is unnecessarily riveting but, good if one can make it!

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Three things you must ensure - You need to have a means of making money yourself, ensure she is also not just willing but she must start doing something to make money too so she can take care of her parents and whatever she can do for her brothers, ensure she talks to her parents about her brothers, let the parents be the ones that will curb their sons excesses. The parents disposition to this and her willingness to work and make money for herself and be willing to help too is what will make you know if you should go ahead or not.

ultiabaz36:
Good day my people, please your advise is needed. I am in my 30s and I came into this relationship this year January. I like and I love this babe so much but she’s always demanding financially despite being a working class and I am only surviving on 45k job here in lagos. I have target and ambition for my life and everything is placed on this my job. So, I have a proportion of my income to be saved for this my ambition but since I met this girl, I never have anything called savings again while I still go on borrowing to satisfy her needs.

The most painful part of it all is that anytime she asks of anything and I’m not capable of what she asked for, she will first block me on Whatsapp and drop a breakup message. I will be the one to call and persuade her and when she feels like to unblock me she will do that.

But now, she’s asking for salah cloth and I don’t have the amount she’s asking for. I told her I don’t have the money for now while I told her that I don’t know what tomorrow will say and as soon as I said this, she dropped the breakup message as usual and block me on WhatsApp.

Please Advise me on what to do as this is getting on my nerves.

You haven't reached your final destination, better move on quickly and focus on how to better your finances.

motymop:
2 stories

1st story

I met a waiter at rhapsody in ikeja shopping mall, who regretted leaving Nigeria for dubai, i asked him why? He said he left his stable job to Dubai, got to dubai and was earning 70k, was also living in a shared accommodation with 4 people, after working for 5 months, he resigned and left Dubai for Nigeria.

2nd story

My cousin left his well paid job for Canada, sold his properties in naija and moved to Canada with his family, first 8 month of his life was hell upon earth, from bills to bills, from one low wage job to another, the neighborhood he was living with his family was infested with gangs, the public school was also infected with gangs, his children got bullied because of their accents, his wife, even though supportive couldn't get a good job, bros was tired of everything.

So he decided to solve his problem by moving back, after the scrap they could save in Canada, my guy and his family moved back to Nigeria, they had to start afresh, thank God, he had a supportive family and friends, they use their connections to help him find another good job but what is lost is lost till today he still regrets selling his properties for Canada.

Your cousin did not get the right information and probably had too much expectation that is not within a reasonable time frame. Firstly, I suspected he went to live in Scarborough or North York in Toronto, he should have simply gone to live somewhere else or relocate to another city. The problem is that people want to retain the excess lifestyle they had in Nigeria abroad which abroad is not really designed for except you know investments that you can do which can make you that kind of money, and they are available. I think your cousin left too much in a hurry

79733139:
They have flushed out many of them. And the new ones that might want to spring up will be dealt with by law enforcement agencies. Canada isn't Malaysia or Indonesia, cultists and Yahoo boys wouldn't last too long there before the get jailed or deported. Their law enforcement is just as good as that of USA and UK.

I'm very happy to hear this!

mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Face the music of what the consequences will be if you break off the engagement now, it will be a lot easier than what you will face when you eventually get married cuz I can tell you almost 100% certain that the marriage isn't likely to last. Amos 3:3 says can two walk together except they be agreed? The most fundamental consideration for born again Christians is if the other person is genuinely saved and reason like you up to like 65-70% otherwise, there's no way you are going to ever be on the same page and, at some point, you both will have to reckon with the truth if you will be able to continue with the journey.

See what Goodnews version of Proverbs 22:3 says - 'Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later'. This should be sufficient to help you make a wise decision, I pray God gives you the courage to.

harley88:
Hi guys,

Pls I need the advice of the public here.
I have been an ET with bank A for about 20 months now at the bank’s head office in a department I don’t like and that doesn’t have a career path. So I’d basically be doing the same thing for years to come. The pay is basically 200k which is quite comfortable monthly. I have tried changing departments within the bank all to no avail. I want to leave the Dept asap so I don’t get stuck there due to age. I’d be 25 later this year.

I started the Entry level recruitment for Bank B a month ago, maybe to start again as an ET probably in a better department with a better career outlook. Right now, I am almost into Bank B’s training school. Bank B pays lower than Bank A, but comes with better perks such as a car. But I’m worried about having to start again and lose 20 months of work experience. The issue is I’d have to be in Training school for some months and collect about 25% of my current salary monthly until TS is over. Also, I don’t know what Dept I’d be posted to assuming I take the Bank B job offer.

What advise can you give me pls?? Also note both banks are in the top four banks in the country.

Should i remain in Bank A and keep trying a change of department or a change of Bank as an experienced hire which is a very slim chance

Or

I take the ET job and start all over from Training school in bank B

Stay where you are and keep praying that God should help you change the dept. Better as you don't know the dept you will be seconded to in Bank B.

Dadaboy:
Good day Nairalanders..

I am in dire need of support from people who have travel experience.
When I say travel experience, I mean people who has relocated from Nigeria completely.

I will be 30 next month, single (have always hated the idea of marrying any lady in Nigeria because I have been unlucky with most of them i met as they seem complicated, inconsequential, dishonest and inexposed).

To make this short, I spent a lot of my youth working so hard to save enough money with the mindset to relocate from Nigeria as Nigeria depresses me alot.

I have been able to save nearly 20 million naira, excluding investments running in millions i wish to put on cargo to ship wherever I wish to relocate to.

Now, my problem is finding a suitable location or environment where i can relocate to without stress and problems.

Note that, I do not intend to work for anyone as I have my own skills.

United States, United Kingdom are out of my plans as I have realised their system are not built to favour me or my type of person and seem more like stress and a slavery environment to me.

I applied for Canada visa with hope to get work permit but has been on hold for months as they have been on lockdown since.

Having lived in South Africa before for a short while and felt like home there, I had it as an option but I am at crossroads, if I can have better suggestions from experienced people here.

Also, if anywhere in Europe is advisable (remember I do not wish to work for anyone except part time, in my field or if must require me to get a work visa)

Please I need advice.

Canada is still your best bet. Better to come in as a permanent resident, use the Express Entry program instead of just a work permit. If the work permit works out on time though, you can take it. When you have lived in Canada for 3years, you can apply for your citizenship. Having a 2nd passport matters a lot for now, don't just relocate for the sake of leaving Nigeria without a plan for a 2nd passport.

Felililicia:
This is somebody, I just accepted a month ago,
I barely know him though we met twice during the relationship. During the third one( yesterday) now he is hinting for sex, the way I replied him made him change topic and said he was joking.
Anytime we meet his joystick get visibly aroused. I need a serious man. Should I dump him.
Earlier thread
https://www.nairaland.com/6576284/did-rush-accept-guy-hope

If it's a serious relationship you want, better let him know otherwise, let him go.

Younghacka:
Glory Be To God Almighty.
.
After 6+ Years Studying A 5 Year Course. . . I Just Did My Project Defence Today. . . It Ended In Praise.
.
The Journey Was Tough & Rough. . . But In The End God Saw Us Through.
.
My Nairaland Family Join And Celebrate The Latest Petroleum Engineer In Town.

Congratulations

Jayrockk:
Haven't gotten the job yet. Actually all I want is to pursue my masters abroad, but my parents are reluctant, thus they are putting in a good word for me. They happen to have a very reliable connect for me which will most likely get me the job, so..

If you were not born abroad and have a foreign passport then, go abroad! Your parents ain't in touch with reality and probably don't want you to go because they want to be seeing you around! Naija is not a place that is exactly reliable now and I can tell you that a Federal govt job cannot pay you 300k at entry level. Also, there's serious politicking in such environments as people from whichever part of the country will probably lobby for junior employees from their part of the country to get promoted earlier than others.

You better go do your Masters specifically in Canada. Canada because you will get work permit after your studies and consequently permanent residence. After that, work and stay till you become a citizen, you may then already know sufficiently what you will do by then.

brimdans:
I would have loved to remain anonymous, but what's the point?

My problem is I'm a jobless graduate, who works for a friend. This friend I work for, doesn't even pay, he just gives me stipends after every work I do. It's a laundry work. He owns the shop, so he's in charge of everything in the shop including, collections of money and all. My work is just to work. I do virtually everything in the shop.

My problem is this guy almost all the time collects the money and doesn't even give me my share. The only time I see my share is when the I'm around when the monies are given to him.

I'm hooked because I mostly feed in there house, because the shop is just within the house. I tried to get a good job, but nothing is forth coming. I even tried applying for casual jobs, still no luck.

I'm currently in a dilemma because my parents are tired of me staying in there house, so currently I sleep in the shop, and it's not even conducive, but that's the only option I have.

I tried contacting my relatives in Lagos if I could go and make a living there, but they aren't really interested me coming.

Please I kindly need advise and help, because I'm heading towards depression.

I'm actually 30 years old. With nothing to show for, except "I'm a graduate" tag.

The option for now may be to start your own laundry business.

BonPatrick:
A mother of two who pleaded anonymity has taken to social media to ask members of the public whether it was wrong to ask her husband to do the dishes.
According to her, her husband lost his business to scam and she has been the one catering for the family with the little she earns from her restaurant business.
She said: “Truly, My husband was the one who opened the restaurant for me, I cook very well and I still do my cooking by myself as I only direct my staffs on what to do.My husband lost his business to scam and since then it’s been me carrying the responsibilities, most of my staffs left because I could not pay them and at some point, all of them left and I had to do everything by myself.

“My husband is doing nothing yet, he just sits at home and maybe go pick the kids from school and all, so yesterday I had lots of customers in the shop, I was doing everything by myself, so as soon as my husband walked in, I asked him to help me rush to wash a few plates while I serve, and he looked at me in some strange way, I repeated myself and he slapped me in public, and walked out.

“I ignored the embarrassment and even most of my customers left, when I got home I noticed that he moved his things, I called his phone and he said he is in his friends place till he gets a job he will come home, that I should take care of the kids.

“He cut the call I tried to call and the next he blocked me.

“What did I do wrong, who is supposed to be upset? I just need to clear my conscience.”

You probably made the request with spite! Also, you could have called him aside and ask him to help and that you are only requesting the help because there are many people around. If he still gets angry and he tells his friend, they will blame him instead but, asking him to do that right in front of customers might not go down well with a Nigerian man with ego, who especially is smarting from not being able to meet up with his responsibilities.

I pray peace returns to your home and your relationship be restored in Jesus name.

family6644:
I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

Well...most women won't want to live in the shadows of a deceased wife however, she's stamping her authority too fast and shown so many red flags in just 12days. She may genuinely have good qualities but she's acting too authoritative early on and that's a red flag. The fact that she's already asserting herself when she's yet to officially come into your house shows she needs some maturing to do.

Proverbs 14:1 says a foolish woman plucks down her own home meaning, this one is showing tendencies that she will likely destroy the happy home you have and even bungle her own chances.

She's still legally married to her husband. If the man comes back and says he did what he did abroad just to get residency and that he wants his family back, you are likely to be left high and dry, that's something you have to factor into your consideration plus, biblically, it will be adultery to get involved with her as she's still legally married.

Finally, it will be painful but you have to sever ties with her. You got to be firm about it and tell her the many reasons, including the fact that your children who could not do without seeing her and her children before are now fed up with the antics she's playing and that there's no point in her staying since you all can't live in peace anymore. If she's trying to be stubborn, invite your mum and sister - women know how to deal with each other.

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

She will likely attack you if you do, let the two of them be.

DPlanB1:
Hi guys , please am in kind need of take on my current situation.

I applied for a canadian work visa through an agent with a down payment of 1miliom after which I did my biometrics capturing at VFS lagos .on

The problem now is that two months is almost gone and no feedback from the embassy and am seriously starting to feel the heat , I don't know if I should get my money back and start up a wine bar or wait for an update from the agent.

Anybody with an experience with situations like this with an agent should pls help me, am beginning to lose my mind with my current state of joblessness and doubts of the legitimacy of the agent securing my visa.

What he's probably helping you to do is visit visa while he will then tell you to find your way if you get the visa and travel to Canada so, the biometrics may be genuine.

Another possibility is that he's arranged with some Nigerians who own businesses in Canada and that employer is the only one you can work for though, getting such jobs is very rare, the charges he gave you is even low, I doubt people who do such will take such low amount.

Also, I have heard of people who went to do Biometrics like that and got visa only to get to the airport and the airline agent flagged their visas as fake. I find it bad practice when agents ask you to submit your passport, that's not good practice.

Finally, even if he's legit, there's so much delay in the processing of applications for every type of Canadian visa right now. Even those who have been given a permanent resident visa are not allowed to land in Canada due to corona except those with family so, the delay is very much in order. There's someone who has applied for visit visa for their mum and its 11months now and 7months after biometrics, the mother's visit visa is yet to be granted. Compare that with yourself who don't have family here so, the delay is not proof that the agent scammed you. You can however get details of the company and the job you were offered and then do background check to know if the company and job position is legit.

orohbiro:
Good day my fellow nairalanders, my sister and this guy has been dating for 4 years now he use to work in a company but lost his job 2yrs ago since then he had been a parasite to my sister coming to our house to eat our food two times a day.

There is this new guy who asked my sister out. He is gentle and he has a good job, he is a Christian he has his own house, we all like him. I have been begging my sister to give him a try because he is ready for marriage unlike the other guy who has no hope of taking good care of my sister rather sucking my sister dry.

My sister seems to love the broke guy more but that guy is not a serious person for 2 good years he can't look for a job not even a menial job. If my sister mistakenly marries the broke guy she will suffer in the marriage because all the responsibility will be on her head. Gidforbid!

Please how do I convince my sister to focus on this other guy that is comfortable? I want the best for my sister.

You are not God to know or determine how tomorrow will look like. We all have our time when things work out for us and his own time can still come. The important thing however is that he should not be lazy, as long as he's willing to work then, things can still look up. Don't despise him because he comes to your house to eat, he may turn out to be you people's helper tomorrow. Women don't sometimes know the mental stress a man already has when he doesn't have money and they don't realize sometimes, when you have tried and tried, you may get weary and just want to take things a little easy to get your strength back. Since your sister's heart is with the guy, let them be. However, if you notice he doesn't want to do anything then, that's when there's a problem.

Godiswithmee:
Good day nairalanders,

Someone close to me is in a state of dilemma and needs advise.

He has been a contract staff in one of the leading commercial banks in Nigeria and was recently converted into a full staff. The issue now is he has been deployed from South West to extreme North (Maiduguri). He has tried every means to get redeployed but all efforts proved abortive.

Considering the fasting rise of unemployment in the country, he feels it's unwise to reject the offer. Still, he's in a state of dilemma.

Should he take the job offer, even though national security is at the lowest there?

Please advise.

Please feel free to reach out if you have any contact that can help, I'll be in the comment section.

Dear Mods, please kindly push to the front page.

The only reason he should go is if he gets a flight there, let him not dare travelling by road as he may not even make it there! As a matter of fact, he's better off raising cash to start a business if he won't get a flight there

grossintel:
So one of my clients wanted to transfer 100k to me for a subscription fee, for some reasons I didn't want him to send it to my main account so I told him I'll send him an account to send the money to.

My girlfriend was with me, so I asked if I could use her account and she agreed. (PS: I use her account number a lot and we've been dating for a long time so I trust her with such amount) . So I told her to send me her account number, but she was watching a movie and requested I check my bank app beneficiaries. I checked and reluctantly copied the account number without checking properly seeing the account name had her surname on it, I didn't check the rest.

My client transferred the money and almost 24hrs my girlfriend still didn't receive the money so I contacted him and he sent a screenshot of the transfer which I forwarded to her. Immediately she saw it she shouted! That's her dads account number, I know I used to send her money through he's account some years back so I saved he's account details. She quickly called him and that's when she heard the shocker.

He said he thought it was he's friend abroad, so they used the money to buy food stuff and what is left is 40k or less, her mom was even pleading if they can send the 40k. My GF has been crying and begging that I should give them time to raise the money or I should sell her phone. Her entire family members have been calling me and I refused to pick, I just want my money back complete.

How can you use money you didn't verify the source in less than 24hrs? Her Mom is a pastor and Father is an elder but this is stealing! Did you call your friend abroad to ask before using the money? Her dad is retired without pention so I know for sure they don't have a way of raising the money.

After much pleading I asked her to tell them to send the 40k and send the rest before the week runs out, that's when they told her they can't do transfer and it has to be on Tuesday. At this stage, I just concluded they spent all that money, I'm trying to stay calm but at the same time not be foolish. My friend is asking me to involve the police but this will certainly hurt my relationship. Please how should I follow this matter, I need mature advice please. 100k is not something I can dash anyone right now.

Don't put all the blame on them, if at your young age and without as much responsibility as they have shouldered yet, you could make the mistake you made then you should cut them some slack as you already know their economic condition. It should be noted that what the man did isn't really good, I will just say you collect the 40k and find a way to manage till they pay you the remainder of the money or pray that God will make a way for you somehow. Sometimes, things we don't prepare for happen

dominique:
They're pastors, prospective in-laws and broke for that matter, oga just forget about the money. Collect whatever they return and count your losses.

That's harsh! It's possible the man genuinely thinks its from his friend abroad who probably used another means to send the money to him. Your comment is condescending, what if things change for them tomorrow and they can now even sponsor their wedding, what will he say then? It's somehow though that, they will spend 60k just like that, they should refund what is left and let him find a way of taking care of things while they pay him back

husseinaaa:
I met this guy 2018 in my Madam's tailoring shop while I was learning as an apprentice.

He usually comes around, he talks and jokes with everyone in the shop and we are all free with him after sometimes of showing good behaviours towards us.

To cut the story short, one day he asked for my phone number that he wants to be communicating with me, so I told him I don't have a phone I am not working yet, I am still learning and he smiled and promised to buy me a phone, which I told him if it's not just a gift he should not buy but if he wants to dash me for no reason like having intention of relationship or sex etc he should. Then he said he just meant to buy for me as a friend and I thank him.

So few days later he gave me 50,000 to buy myself a phone and I collected it and appreciated it.

So we communicate normally but just as a friend.

Last month he started asking me out, I told him am not ready for relationship because the kind of suffering and stress I pass through to survive totally made me lose interest for anything like that, he got angry and told me to send back his 50,000 to him or I should accept him. He is threatening me because he knows I cannot afford such money to pay him so I told him to give me time, I will refund it just to avoid problem but he said no time will be given that either I should give him my virginity or if I don't pay before next 7 days he will destroy my life, either by jazz or attack.

I just don't know what to do I need advice.

His demands are very suspicious, he's not only asking for a relationship, he's asking for your VIRGINITY, that's sinister in nature. He might be looking to do something more diabolical with your life. The best way is to let your boss know about it and pray to God to help you get the money and return it.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

As at 2018, 70k was almost not enough for a family of 4 to feed monthly not to talk of now. That 70k is even just for feeding and probably some petty things, it does not include other expenses like fuel for generator, nepa bill and some miscellaneous. You haven't even seen anything yet, when school fees starts to roll in, that's when you will understand what you got yourself into. This is not to say you are lazy or not trying your best, it's simply a situation yoruba people call - Omi po ju oka lo(your resources are not enough)simple! Also, to take care of 3babies at the same time ain't the easiest of duties so, your wife may not even have the energy or time to go look for work and earn income to supplement yours.

Like the yoruba says - ti ise owo e ko ba to e je, wa ise kun ise owo e(if your work isn't making you earn an income that is sufficient, look for an additional source of income). You have to think of something else to do that will bring you extra income. I mostly always suggest transportation business as it brings daily income for you. Find a way of geeting loan and buy these small shuttle buses or keke napep, ensure its doing a route where you can monitor the driver or, if you don't mind, you can drive it yourself in the evening when you are back from work. It will give you rest of mind in the interim while you then think of something else to do cuz, I can tell you the bill will keep increasing. When you have more money, your fights with wifey will stop. I won't necessarily say she's a bad girl cuz really, taking care of 3 babies at the same time and be faced with the mental issue of lack of funds is not the easiest of things to cope with, not just women alone!

Chuxx84:
Good evening nairalanders.
Please I need advice/opinions on this issue at hand.

I have been taking care of my mother since before I got married, I have other brothers older and younger but they are not financially buoyant. (So they claimed) I did not mind this but kept on caring for her ( house rent, feeding, other bills).

Although it's a burden to me, but she is my mother. Now my wife suggest that any money I want to give to her should pass through her (I will send to my wife then she sends to my mother) or she does the sending and I later pay her back.

Her claim is my mother is fetish with my money. I'm confused can this be true? Sometimes my mother will make simple money request my wife would say I should ignore her. She says she is taking me for a fool. I am beginning to get tired of this whole thing. Please help with advice or opinions.

Thanks.

So, she has her own special powers that she will use to stop your mum's jazz if she's the one sending the money to her? Your wife simply feels your mum is taking too much from you and that the money you ought to be spending on her and the children is being given to another woman*. If you pass the money through her it won't get to your mum. My advice to you is to ignore her totally and continue taking care of your mum however, try and get your other siblings to be responsible for your mum as well. Tell your mum to make demands from them too, they should honour their mother as the bible says. If your wife attempts such thing, ask her if she would like for her own children to abandon her in her old age? She will leave you alone cuz, what she's asking you to do can bring a curse on all of you so, ignore her.

jesusjnr2020:


Different strokes for different folks...

Even with the benefit of hindsight i would make the same decision over and over again given the opportunity to do so again.

What you claim has no spiritual significance is one of the most spiritually significant thing that's ever happened to me, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

Many apostles and prophets of old even some true believers today who know better concerning such things would agree with me on that.

Hence I would say that this comment you made is rather ignorant and that you haven't the least idea what you speak about.

But you're entitled to your view though.

God bless.



I'm laughing really hard at the height of ignorance being displayed by you both.

So Moses came out with a glorious face after fasting right? Also the apostles worked signs and wonders after fasting right? But all you know about me is that I came out with a bony structure and naked, without any "signs and wonders, no miracles, no deep revelations, no preaching or saving of souls, no life won for Christ" right?

I'm used to that though with NL Christians who are predominantly spiritually shallow, yet are not willing to learn from those who know and love God much better than they do, so no surprises there.

That's the same way, when I said Jesus appeared to me, they were so sure that it wasn't Him, some were even willing to place a bet... but they all were put to shame, after God went out of His way to confirm here that it was really His Son Jesus that appeared to me to their confounding, that some even had to modify their such comments to show how foolish and ignorant it now made them look. I wouldn't be surprised if you were even one of them because you sound as one of them, even though you come in the guise of a different (new) moniker.

Thank God I have quoted this your comment though just in case... So according to you I was competing with God right? Okay. If you're not also put to shame soon because of this comment, then i'd accept everything you've said against me here as the truth and that the fasting was of no spiritual significance but borne of sheer ignorance.

But if you are, then you should be humble enough to swallow your pride and accept that you made a serious blunder concerning me.

I'm really grateful that I shared this experience even though it gives you an opportunity to mock, because this is not meant for the spiritually blind who believe that God deserves crumbs, and want to continue giving Him such, but for those who are willing to know that God deserves nothing but the best and everything even as the apostles had given to Him, so that they'd be inspired to give Him same.

God bless.

Some elements of your story has truth but some seem somehow. In all your narration about your fasting expedition, you never once mentioned that you were praying for something, you appear to have just being there to see how you can live without eating or drinking for forty days as never once did you mention that you prayed. Even the topic of your post is somewhat misleading, the topic seem to say you saw something or probably had an encounter but, there was nothing. Finally, the way I see you boast about the things that have been happening in your life shows something is amiss. If you are a genuine Christian, I suggest you seek out a more experienced Christian for mentorship before you enter into error. There's nothing wrong to seek God to empower one to live the kind of life one read in the Bible about Jesus and the apostles(we are built upon their foundation, Jesus Christ Himself being the Chief Cornerstone) but, it appears to me you want to use this medium to draw people to yourself and then start a ministry. You need to be careful, really very careful! I pray God leads you the right way you ought to follow in Jesus name

iamDrRhymes:
I used to have this roommate who was a member of one of these Pentecostal fellowships back then in campus. He had just graduated and was actually doing his clearance when I joined the room to replace him who was considerably older. So it happened one evening as we were getting to know ourselves better. He asked if I was truly born again with the evidence of speaking in tongues which I told him that I do not. He went ahead intently to tell me if I know that I can be baptized by the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongue right there in our room. Well, I must confess that I wasn't buying his idea then because I didn't know what speaking in tongues will do for me and secondly, I was of the Jehovah's Witness' stand point as I had been welcoming their teaching for years earlier.


He swiftly went to close our door from behind as he saw my readiness to give his 'Holy Spirit' a try. He prayed in tongues for while and after, he laid hands on me hoping that I will fall on the bed under his 'claimed anointing' but I could only encourage him to try harder with my theatrics. He tried and tried until I willingly granted his request and he felt better but became even more intense with his ritual. This 'Spiri koko' brother will then ask me at intervals if I have the urge to speak in an unknown tongue and I will always give him an outright 'No' till hot sweat covered us both ([/i]he must have been figuring out what could be wrong with this Pre Degree Student[i]). After about an hour of his unyielding exercise, he just told me to speak anything that comes out my mouth without refraining myself. So for the fact that I can't wait to leave that tinny room for a deep breath of fresh air, I voluntarily granted his request again. I spoke one of these popular gibberish- 'skibobobo' .... and he said [/i]'Yes! That is it! that's your tongue! Continue!'[i]. He became very happy and even worshipped God for saving a soul while I was having a good laugh inside of me. After that day, he will always ask me about how many hours I have spoken in tongues each day and of course you know, I will always give it to him so as to discharge myself on time.


Well, the above story was a funny experience I had more than 10 years ago and to the Glory of God today, I have shredded out doctrines and believe systems that deny the power of God. However, I still question the much emphasis on speaking in tongues by many churches today.

Jesus Christ said in March 16:17-18: [/i]“And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”[i]


Note that Jesus Christ made mention of other signs that will accompany those who believe, not just speaking in tongues. So why can't we have people like my former room mate say: Are you born again with the evidence of driving out demons? or with the evidence of healing the sick or any other signs mentioned in that Mark's Chapter?
‭‭

Speaking in the tongues is part of the 9 Gift of the Spirit mentioned in 1Corinthians 12:8:11. The chapter also says that the Spirit Himself give as he determines- that means that any of the 9 spiritual gifts can attest to presence of the Holy Spirit even though it is possible to operate in more than one or even all the gifts (Ephesians 1:3). Why is this singular emphasis on speaking in tongues? What happens to the gifts of interpretation of tongues? Why is the relegation of other spiritual gifts?


Infact, the gifts of tongues appear to be the least in all the 9 gift of the spirits? (Matthew 23:23) Peter never spoke in tongues before he rose the lame man at the entrance of the beautiful gate, did he? Did he speak in tongues before he rose Dorcas from the dead? Did Paul speak in tongues to restore Eutychus to life. Where exactly can we find it in the bible where signs and wonders were performed through praying in tongues?


Is it a lie that speaking in tongues has be abused or hijacked by strange spirits in the church today? You get to a church and you will see everybody muttering the same incoherent syllables in the name of speaking in tongues (Matthew 6:7). Could it be that they got their own speaking in tongues using that my formal roommates style? How does the spirit of God come upon someone who do not have the true knowledge of God? God can not be mocked! Even unbelievers already know popular lines of speaking in tongues incase they find themselves in same corner I found myself 10 years ago. You will enter a church these days and you won't even know the prayer point because nobody is or can actually interpret their 'claimed tongues' (1 Corinthians 14:28). Again, why the emphasis on speaking in tongues when other spiritual gifts like prophesy are been left unattended to?


Please note that I never said that speaking in tongues isn't real, Infact I believe in the reality of the tongues of angels because I have experienced it before (1 Corinthians 13:1) but my point here that, is speaking in tongues not just a gift amidst numerous gifts in the bible? Why will speaking in tongues be the only evidence to prove the Holy Spirit? Our emphasis as Christians should be in godly characters i.e the fruits of the spirit which are: Chastity, self control, modesty, faithfulness, gentleness, godliness, long suffering, peace, patience, kindness, joy, charity (Galatians 5:22-23). Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 7:15-20, by 'their fruits we shall know them'


Do you even know that speaking in tongues is not only a Christian phenomenon? Somethings are connecting as regards to the Christianity we practice in this age. May God grant us the spirit of discernment (1 John 4:1).

The reason why it is generally believed that speaking in tongues is the evidence of being baptised in the Holy Spirit is because that was the very evidence witnessed when the apostles first got baptised in the Holy Spirit in Acts 2. In Acts 10 as well when Peter went to preach to the household of Cornelius, it was the same thing that happened. When Paul met some disciples in Acts 19:1-6, when Paul prayed for them to receive the Holy Spirit, the evidence also was speaking in tongues. You may have omitted the fact that Peter was the one leading them in upper room when the Holy Spirit fell on all of them and the bible makes us know they all spoke in new tongues so, saying Peter did not speak in tongues I believe is an omission. Note that this is about the evidence of being baptised in the Holy Spirit and not about speaking in tongues to do miracles, miracles are performed by faith in the name of Jesus. Now, you can have the Spirit when you become genuinely born again but when there's a fullness of the Spirit, it will most likely come out in you speaking in tongues.

tommie1:
I have an issue bugging me and I need some serious advise because I have been very indecisive so far.

There is a lady I'm seeing. She came to my place a few weeks ago and we had sex, first with condoms and later without condoms.

However, I gave her some money to get postinor when she left for her place the next morning.

That morning, I asked if she got the drug when she called to say she had arrived home and she said "yes".

I called her again that evening to ask if she had taken it and she said "yes".

A few weeks later, she called to say she is pregnant.

As I later found out, at least according to what she said, she took the drug the next day after arriving at her home and not on that day she told me she took it. She gave some flimsy excuse as to why she did it but it does not matter anymore at this point.

At this moment, we are considering removing the baby.

While I have been very indecisive, she has agreed to go with whatever decision I take and has spoken to a doctor who will do it this Friday.

However, I am unsure as of this moment if I want to go on with this because even though I am done with uni, I do not think I have gotten to that point where I can shoulder more responsibilities.

I am self employed and somewhat financially okay but not in a way that I can take care of three people, particularly a baby. I was okay as of 2019 until COVID came and turned my life upside down last year.

And believe me, I was really glad I was not married as of last year because I went through hell. Serious hell. The lockdown finished me.

I am slowly recovering (very slowly) and still trying to figure my way out through life and rebuilding what I lost but I am afraid that having the burden of a woman and baby at this point may derail me.

And I really do not know who to turn to when I am unable to provide for the both of them.

What do you guys think? Do I go on with this or just let the baby be?

Don't be involved in killing a soul. First find out if the baby belongs to you then, pray for God to make a way for you to take care of the baby. Repent of your sin also and give your life to Christ and stop committing premarital sex

Oluwa18:
A little back story.
I am a 36 YO guy with no university certificate, was too wayward to finish school in FUTO then, left school in my 2nd year for a 4 year course.

Tried my hands on business years later and currently have 7M naira saved.
Now, I want to go for degree and eventually start a family .
I am considering seeking admission in a UK or Canadian school. Luckily, I have sponsors .

For a guy of my age , looking to study IT related course or physiotherapy and eventually seeking residency, would you recommend UK or Canada?
Please I need supported answers.

Thank you all.

Apply to Canadian schools for a 2year diploma in either Cyber Security or Big Data Analytics, those are the two courses that will make you earn some of the biggest salaries in the Western World now. 2years diploma in Canada will entitle you to 3years postgraduate work permit. As soon as you complete 1year of employment, you can apply and get permanent residence after which you can proceed to Bsc if you want but this time around, you will pay school fees same as citizen and can even get grant and loan from the govt. Two years after getting permanent residence in Canada starting out as a student, you will qualify and can apply for your citizenship. Apart from the fact that it is cheaper than the UK, it may take you like 10years in the UK before you can get their citizenship

born2begreat:
I am also a victim of this and i think the problem with me that's not included in your write-up is "Distraction". I'm 37 just engaged, more responsibilities even i earn less than 45k monthly. I have learnt HTML, CSS3 using codecademy and freecodecamp, Wordpress, AWS solution architect, Python... I didn't complete learning all these because of distraction from myself or my family. I am the first child of my family, a breadwinner despite earning less i still don't like seeing them suffering. I know the only solution to my PROBLEM of having my full concentration of programming is to get a job as an intern but will be earning monthly even if it is just 20k while all i will be doing is learning and doing something. You can only be better and be improving at what you do everyday. Unlike this menial job i'm doing here from 7am to 5pm and get home everyday very tired. I still have thirst and passion for programming and i pray my problem is solved soon because it's paining me alot. May God help me

Hi! Look for who can borrow you money and look for a business to set up like transportation. If you have two of those shuttle buses delivering 120k to you every month, you can agree to be paying whoever you borrow money from to use two years to pay. That will leave you with 70k income every month. Limit your spending and add another one like okada. Before you know it, you may be getting a 100k every month without working for everyone. This will free up your mind to think of something else to invest in that will be increasing your income and let you free your mind to concentrate to learn. So, you can be an investor and at the same time train to get a job in the field of a developer that will eventually by God's grace earn you the big bucks. I pray the mercy of God speak for you in Jesus name

Tbadbad:
Hello everyone, ‘my story is long but I will skip some to try to make it short, sorry for my grammatical error, I am not a writer and I am writing with pains and I might made some mistakes, please bear with me.

I have been dating my wife to be since 2017, I have been taking care of her and everything, the truth is I was hearing some funny stuff about her since I met her but I didn’t take it serious because I trusted her and I really thought she was decent from every other girls.

When I met her, she told me she had only dated 3 boys for have sex only three times, her first boyfriend and two other girls she met in school. I really believed her because she was acting decent.

At a point I began to suspect her when I started hearing some stuff about her but I didn’t pay attention because I trusted her, sometimes when I asked her if she ever dated some one else or cheating on me, she will just turn the whole thing to quarrel and I will just lock up.

Fast forward to 2020, I got her pregnant before I left Nigeria, we did introductions, but she lost the baby during child birth which was so painful to us, but after some month I begin to hear some news about her, and I confronted her and threatened her that I have proof, which she confess to me that she has dated about 3 boys, slept with them several times, she also bleeped 2 girls just once and they didn’t date, she just had crush on them and bleeped them before she met me, and she cheated on me when she found out I was chatting with my ex’s, she couldn’t bear the pains even after begging her, sex her and still give her money to school, the same week she met a guy and bleeped him because she wanted to ease her pains, and 2019 when we had little quarrel, she met a guy and bleeped twice because she thought we broke up (what happened was that we had little argument and I have her money to sch and we didn’t talk for a week, that week she met a guy and stayed dated him because she thought we broke up).

I was heart broken when she told me, and I wanted to brk up, her parents begged me and they never supported her and they were even surprised she could do such thing because she came from a very decent background. I forgave her but I still have the pains in my heart, we always chat everyday, because of corona things are some how and I don’t have money like before, she begins to show me some attitude which is not really comfortable and I explain things to her and she apologized.

So last month she told me since I left she have been having sexual urge to sleep with a girl because she have been watching lesbian porn, that she promised never to cheat on me with a man and it’s taboo but she wanted to have sex with a female, I was so shocked and didn’t know what to do. She said she just started having the strange feelings because she have been watching lesbian porn since I left, I feel like I don’t know anything about her, I wanted to brk up now because she is begging me and she is saying she is just trying to be truthful to me because she promised herself never to hide anything from me or lie to me. What should I do? Should I continue to be with her and marry her? Or run away? Mine she have never slept with a woman before and she has always hated lesbian but because I have been a way since feb 2020, she usually watch porn to help herself. Pls what should I do?

Much as you will appreciate the fact that she chose to be open, her situation calls for concern. She seems to be uncontrollable and can just give in at the slightest moment. If you don't want to continue to suffer heartbreak, I will advise you cool off from the relationship. You may however be her friend and try to see how you can encourage her to change. If you then see a genuine change in her and you feel like continuing then, it's up to you.

However, let me tell you the truth, except a man be born again and experience conversion from the inside which is the work of the Holy Spirit, the chances she will change may be less than 10%. You both need to give your lives to Christ and let Him cleanse you inward out, that's the only one that is lasting and so your name can be written in the book of life so that when Jesus comes back, you both can make it to heaven. Marriage or relationship is not what is most important in this life but where we spend our eternity.

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

What you are experiencing is not out of place, the initial marital period like 2-4years can sometimes be turbulent especially if you didn't start the relationship when you were young.

You shouldn't have acceded to renting a 2bedroom, especially when you don't have children yet. As for the dowry thing, you may need to find a way of paying her that money. That careless statement you made, be thankful she didn't say more than she said because, if the tables were to be turned, you will likely hold to it against her and by the time you become rich, you probably will never forgive her so, I think she handled it better.

Finally, you must understand that spirituality and lack of financial security don't mix well for a lot of women. Even the one that shows understanding now is doing it with the hope that you will breakthrough one day. It was one of the hardest thing for me to understand when I was younger but had to kind of conclude that it's probably the way God created them as I could not understand how someone who earns so much and can afford to even employ you the man still expects you to pick up bills they know you don't have the money for. Irrespective of how religious they are, they will still expect you the man to be financial responsible for the house so, it's better you assume women are not religious when it comes to money. I advise you find a side hustle, that's the next thing for you. Think of a business you can do, get loan from family which will be without interest to run it and you can keep expanding from there. One of the easiest thing to do is transportation. Even if it's 2 okadas, they will be bringing in extra income for you that will let your mind be relaxed a little in the mean time while you can then concentrate to think of something bigger.

Best wishes!

ImDStar:
I am likewise on this table.

3m budget
Civil Engineering HND
3-4 years of working experience
I will be 31 this year
I am Single (but getting lots of pressure to marry my long time girl.)

But I just want to travel out of this country.

I am in a serious dilemma now.

Someone should genuinely advice please.

Canada is your best bet! It's the best place to migrate to at the moment considering you will be coming in as a permanent resident with all benefits that a citizen has apart from not being able to vote but after 3years, you apply for your citizenship. You can easily go back to school if you want, the govt will give you both loan and grant(free money which in a lot of cases is enough to even pay your school fees). As for the lady, after submitting your application, you can bring her in when you get married to her. You will spend less than a million for the process on only yourself.