₦airaland Forum

StacyO:
I'll make this as concise as possible. Please read through.

My son just clocked 25 this year and he very much doesn't seem to be too serious with his life.

He barely associate with his siblings and he seem not to care if he is an adult or not.
I won't blame him entirely cause growing up was all rosy and golden spooned for him. I and his father spoilt him so much, being the first child then.
He had everything at his disposal and anything he wanted was granted him. He was treated like a man and most especially a king.

This habit of seek and you shall find seem to have attached badly to him now. He sells off his fathers properties even with the father watching fully and funny enough, he won't do anything.

As a mother, whenever I try to correct him, his father will always come to his rescue.

What broke the camel's back was when he sold my husband's car engine, fan and generator.

Annoyingly, my husband seemed very much aware of it and still did nothing about it.

He has never for once concentrated on his studies and whenever I make mention of his siblings, he always quote his father's properties being his. And how he can send everyone packing if any misbehaves.

He told us that he can no longer continue with his education and we should keep our money for more important things.


My son is lost and I don't know if he can change. I have spoken to my husband several times and he seemed very much not bothered.

I'm really worried and troubled as it is affecting me psychologically as well.

How best can someone over pampered from childhood change??

Take him to a guardian and counselling centre probably they will talk sence to him

Meanwhile make the corrections now with his siblings

Lastly, be strong and don't let his behavior weigh you down

His father is not saying anything because he doesn't want to die young

He will adjust but he needs someone he likes to talk with him

I just wish he has not gone into drugs

Since you can't read the signs, go and deep your neck

EFULEFU1:
I proposed love to this girl and she said yes. Since then, I send her money regularly. Anytime I ask her to come visit me, it's one story to the other. Now she is telling me she is married. Can I sue her for fraud? Thank you

Sue her to her husband if you feel pained towards her attitude

Papertrails:
Please nairalanders I need your advice on something that has been bothering me for sometime now.

I am a young graduate who graduated from the university almost two years ago and am done with my youth service too but am still trying to get a job or put up something maybe a business that will be fetching me money considering the situation of our country in terms of availability of jobs.

Then there's is this girl I have been dating for three years and everything has been going well but recently she has been really disturbing me to come and see her people or get her pregnant, am someone that will do everything within my power to make sure my kids don't pass through the hardship I have passed through being someone that wasn't born with a silver spoon, and another thing is that I really love this girl.
Am really confused and don't know what to do.

Why the rush

Why is she pressuring you

You can't find your bearing yet you want to add more to yours

Why is she desperate when you are not even ready yet

UyaiIncomparabl:
I don't understand. Confront her for what exactly? Is washing clothes for her prospective mother-in-law her duty? And how does washing clothes for her prospective mother-in-law make her a wife material?

You won't understand and I don't need to explain

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

You have to confront her to know why she acted on what your mum has complained about

Loving a woman is one thing and being a wife materials is another thing

Integrafamoo:
My wife just gave birth. My mother would be coming to stay with us and my mother in-law will be around for few days. I live in a 2bed room apartment. How should I allocate the space without causing trouble? Though I have a very big sitting room with extra mattress. Advice needed please!

Normally you are expected to sleep on any part of the apartment so that your mother inlaw can have time for her daughter and her grand child

There are times your baby will wake up at a wrong time and your wife may have been tired, your mother inlaw already knows what to do without even involving you

Just give them your room and sort yourself out

She won't be there forever

onlyfacts:
Tough one.

I'll rather be the Judge.

I will also like her to be the judge too in my case.

Nobody is above mistake.

If you make mistake as a husband apologise to your inlaws, no need to drag your wife's loyalty to you into it.

Same thing as a wife, if you make mistake towards your inlaws, apologise for it, no need to drag your husband's loyalty to you into it.



My view though.

You have said it all

DannyG8:
interaction fine but stingy hmmmm I should give her all my money because am dating her

Lol

Anyway you can still date her without giving her money, just make sure you don't indulge in intimacy

BluDesk:
Which one is woman up again lawyer.


Smh. Wetin musa no go see for Ariaria

Woman up" is like. "man up"

But give me one reason why you dey call me *Lawyer*

OB3344:
Greetings folks .
I started dating this particular girl since 2018 ,while I was in 300l , she got pregnant for me 2019 , though I intended keeping the baby , but she said it'll will bring shame to her family bla bla and she was in 200l ,so I had to allow her abort the baby. She took abortion pills and yet the baby was still there, she took several stuffs just to abort the baby and the baby was still intact ( ) .Then I told her to forget about aborting the baby, buh she went ahead to remove the baby via operation.

2021... we're still dating , and I'm ready to get married to her now, I decided to check if she hasn't lost her womb..had sex with her on several occasions without condom and I have been doing it since 2020 till now ,no sign of pregnancy.
I'm so perplexed right now...
This particular girl suffered me emotionally while I was still an undergraduate because I had nothing then, but she has changed her character now though.
Please I'm 100% sure I'm not the one with the problem because somebody else is pregnant for me already...
I PLAN ON ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP..OR DO YOU THINK OTHERWISE?

Whatever the problem you think she has was caused by both of you, if you love yourself, go ahead and marry her and keep your pregnant girl and with time you marry her too

If eventually she doesn't get pregnant, both of you should adopt so that she will be busy with the adopted baby

A childless woman is twice dangerous

PUSSYHOE:
Thats why women are attractive to men, their body, voice, looks etc all this serve one purpose to make a man's dick rise so he would want to fuck_ ( reproduce). That's what women are created for.

When God created everything including man he sees that everything is GOOD, then created woman for reproduction.

Woman is not part of God's good creation but just something to use to produce more humans.

If you had said that women are created for men's pleasure, that would have been better than what you explained it to be

DannyG8:
am an introvert , to quite I have been into couple of relationship but the relationship don't last long ok my last relationship only lasted for 4 month just like that the girl start giving me attitude and we later broke up I don't know if it because I don't give her money or I just don't understand

when I talk to a girl the hardly refuse my relationship proposal but when we start the relationship it won't last long before the girl will start giving me attitude I don't know what is wrong I just don't understand

all the girls I go into relationship with if I meet with them and we talk they always accept before you know it relationship is over

please what do you think is the problem I need your advice please no insult
thank you all help a brother

I think you are boring, you need to learn how to be interactive, women don't like men who can't raise a gist to entertain theur moments with a guy

Then if you are stingy, that's the worst of it

EmGeee:
I met this guy, he turns out a very nice guy very matured said he was interested in everything about me like that serious then we realized am 3yrs older.. kinda weird and I sense he is now withdrawn, I understand and already let go so how best do I let him know that I understand. Just so he doesn't feel he did me wrong, so he will stop calling me up randomly in entanglement


I think what I tagged matured could be discipline, he is quite disciplined... had to even let him know he was beginning to act up. On one occasion he called and along the discussion he was gisting me about a special Abacha joint and promised to take me there, then on another occasion I called to check on him then asked what he had for dinner... he told me off 'that we shouldn't be wasting our airtime on such matters'. We started on a good note then it began to hurt so I had to let go in my mind just want him to know I understand
I just feel he isn't sure and don't know how to open up probably not to hurt me so just want to let him know am cool with his stance so we both just move on

Why are you bothered about his feelings for leaving the relationship because of age difference

Woman up pls

Dat2jo:
My wife's younger sister who is 19 came to stay with us. So last week I noticed movements anytime my wife is moaning and got to find out it's her sister who normally comes to peep through the key hole. So from three days back, I started leaving the door slightly open and position my wife in a way that her sis can now see my thing going in and out. I'm nervous to tell my wife but Its exciting for me. I just wish my wife would like what I'm thinking. I still don't want to risk it and jeopardize my marriage. Pls advise me.

You acted more childish than your wife sister

Ibfpleasant:
Pardon my errors while reading pIz..

I don’t actually have much to say here. I have been with my girl for good 2 years and it has really being a good relationship so far, because she is a very beautiful and industrious lady. She doesn’t complain and not a materialistic girl, she appreciate anything I give her and she do try for me as well, despite her tight schedule, she will still make sure we see when it’s necessary.

What really happen it this, her friend came to visit her because we live in same city, I went to her place to see the lady and we all hangout and it was really fun.. they both came to my place after some days. My girl was inside Kitchen busy cooking and I was in the sitting room with her friend looking at her cleavage because This girl boob is mad, I stood up and move closer to her a bit to see if I can play with her boob, she noticed my move and stylishly change her seat. I stoped and went to see my girl in the kitchen to say well done, She prepared very good food and we all ate.

We went out later that same day and it happen that I took their pictures with intension to collect the friend number wic I finally did and started chatted with her. I asked her to come around whenever my girl is busy, she asked to know what I have for her but told her when she come we shall talk about it, she said I should send her some money to make her hair before she come but i refused.

She didn’t finally come and we end it there. Meanwhile we have already had some weird chats. My girl call me to come and take her to market to buy some material for her work, I went there and saw her friend and we both acted as if nothing had happened.

I went and came back. My girl chatted me up yesterday and asked me if I have eaten, I told her I was about cooking that i didn’t cook for some days, she asked why and I told her I have been broke.. All she said was she can never believe me again and everything will soon be shorted.

I was like how, she said i will understand later after she wake up.. my mind wasn’t at rest because I already knew something is fishy, she didn’t chat me up again that yesterday until this morning that she sent me my chats with her friend..

she was so disappointed and told me she didn’t still believe I was the one. I just kept apologizing. I know her friend will be happy now that our relationship is collapse. I don’t want to keep apologizing to my girl so as not to hurt her more.. i’m still very sorry!

You already know that you acted silly

Give her time and come back to her and be open by telling her how and why you acted in a disappointing manner

Also apologies to her friend for that breach and do that in her presence

If she doesn't get convinced about it

Consider the relationship gone and learn your lesson

InvestingExpert:
we are in the age where everyone wants to be heard and everyone wants to be noticed and liked

and this has resorted to so many new trends and culture that back in the days didn't exist.

Now a woman wants equal right as a man and will say "what a man can do a woman can do better"

I'm not against this movement or trend or whatever it is called

but if a wife also struggles for equal rights in terms of leadership with her husband

then who is the follower, who gives the instructions, who is the one to submit

two captains can't lead a ship but it seems in this days of social media everyone wants to take the lead.

so who is really the head of the house?

Any of them that can carry the burden of the family

alitee:
Hi house,

I have dis very beautiful 4yrs old daughter..Each time I look at her,I get scared of her being sexually abused..I mean d girl is just too beautiful...
I just want to know how to protect her from bin sexually abused not just from adults but exposed kids as well.. I don't want her to start doing " mummy and daddy" play..

Help a concerned mum.


P.S : she is just a 4yr old kid

Let her know that she should not allow anyone to touch her private part and her entire chest region

She should not seat in any man's lap for whatever reasons

She should not collect any gift from any boy

Encourage her to tell you everything and teach her how to open up to you

Lastly never leave her alone at home with out you or another female watching over her

Hushbingo:
This is becoming serious. My girl could barely spare a day without seeing me or calling me every five minutes...

Everywhere i go, she follows. Everything i do she wants to know about it.

She's in her final year. She blackmail me by threatening suicide whenever i mention break up..

The thing is, she doesn't want to leave my house again.


There are things about her that are way beyond my expectations. Things that are secrets so i won't go into that side.

One thing is, she doesn't ask for dime from me. I only give her money out of my heart. She has spent on me more than i have spent on her...


The real mata is that i want to be a bachelor again. She won't let me be and then this her monitoring spirit everywhere i go...

Please advise me what to do.

Invite a sister or brother of yours to stay with you for t gf e mean time, use that opportunity to ask her to leave the apartment

Stop receiving gift from her and stop expecting gift from her

Stop all forms of sexual acts with her

Reduce communications with her and don't fail to tell her that you are busy

Be wise and play maturity on the above mentioned

lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Don't switch your phone

Don't resign, they want your downfall

Keep sending money and keep t NG e physical receipts

Come one weekend see your mum and go back very quickly that same weekend

Don't give any one cash, just send it so that there won't contact with your raw cash and them by hand

If God wants he keep your mum

If they want let them dis own you

Don't get intimidated

Pascopele:
Nothing is wrong with quitting!
Don’t waste time if it’s nothing working. Go back to the drawing board and find a different game plan.

Don't waste time on something that won't benefit you.

Do not listen to your parents , do what’s right for you, learn about female nature fully & never think your moment of winning will last forever

Never tell anyone not to listen to his or her parents it's not a good advice

Rather you say, listen to your parents and do the right thing

Gogiba:
Sorry to bore you, i promise to be quick..

I am currently teaching in a private school in Lago, earning a little above 50k. But i have so many tech skills, graphic designs, machine learning, python programming, and some more.. i also develop mobile apps (android and ios), am also a professional keyboardist, i basically play for money.

The thing is, each time am in the school, i feel am wasting my time there, i have asked some people for counsel, they said i should still hold on till i start making good money from my skills.

I strongly feel i have to leave and focus on my Tech biz..

But still kinda confused..

Please ur advices r needed��

Follow your heart, it will lead you to where you are going to make fortunes and you will be happy forever

Quite teaching

DoubleFingers:
N/B: This could be a bit lengthy, but please, read to the end.

I have been making preparations since late last year to settle down with my fiancee. I intend going to collect the marriage list this coming April to kick start the marriage processes.

My girl and I are very compatible in almost all ramifications you can think of. Honestly, she's the perfect definition of a supportive wife, well mannered and loyal to the core, just to say a few.

We now lived in different states, but we've known ourselves and have been seeing/dating each other in the same city between December 2016 and September 2019. I even made her to redeploy during her NYSC in 2018, to be close to me because of my intentions for her.

As usual, we've been praying and trying to seek the face of God to get divine revelation.

So on the 9th of this month (March), my fiancee and her mum visited a priest for normal pre marriage talk/counseling. The priest of course asked my girl some questions about me, which she answered sincerely. The priest then advised my girl and her mum to put everything in God's hand and be praying about it.

About a week later (around 16th or so), my fiancée's mother had a dream where my fiancée's hair was cut in the dream. In trying to understand the dream, my fiancee then called her cousin who is a Reverend, and the cousin told her that the dream is a bad dream, that it means "someone is trying to take her glory."

That dream compelled my fiancee and her mum to have two days midnight prayer (19th and 20th precisely) to cancel any bad dream.

Reaching today, my girl and her mum visited the priest again, to let him know about the dream. The priest then asked my girl about her understand of the dream. My girl said it means "widowhood." But my girl's mum was having a different understanding.

In summary, the priest then asked my girl if she had gotten a divine revelation, as to whether we're meant to be husband and wife. My girl said no has not.
Personally, I've fasted and prayed severally to God to show me reasons not to marry my fiancee, but I'm yet to see reasons not to.

Honestly, apart from divine validation which I'm yet to get, I'm yet to see reasons why I shouldn't marry my fiancee. And my girl have been worried since this afternoon, thereby getting me worried also.

Now my questions are:

1.) What does it mean for someone's hair to be cut in a dream?

2.) Is it 100% compulsory that one must get a divine validation to have a peaceful and happy marriage?

Please, your honest contributions will be appreciated.

Mods, please help a brother if this piece isn't in the right section.

And help send it to front page for more response.

Thanks.

Dreams are figments if ones mind

So if one dream of accidents tvst means the person won't go near main road and should remain inside the house

Our life is in God's hand, he us the only one that can guarantee our safety and existence


Don't put pressure on them, they want their daughter to marry and you too want to marry, so it benefits both ends

Love is the only assurance for relationships to stand well

If by the time you are exhausted on waiting for the family to give you approval and they are still dragging feet, just inform her that it's best you guys ends the relationship so that every one can go their separate ways

The moment you do the above, they will be the one to start chasing you to do the marriage

Terry44:
Hello nlander, Had to create this account for anonymity sake.

Kindly forgive my Errors.


I am a guy in my late twenties, at least I can say am doing good for myself in this Buhari's next level. I've dated this lady for two years and I'm almost considering walking down the aisle with her before I started noticing some changes with her, mind you she is 24.



Issue all started when I left Abuja for Lagos for a contract job, before then she had been a very good lady and faithful too. For the time we dated she never demanded from me untill she lost her Step-mum, even at that her demands were untypical of a Nigerian lady, because she always fended for herself unless I willingly intervened.


Problem started when she first visited me and I noticed her long unusual calls, I confronted her but she convinced me with the normal just a friend stuff from female folks. Fast forward to the present day, she has kept her profile of been a good lady before me and family. I even introduced her to my people and from time to time she spends reasonable time
with my ailing father and younger siblings.

The actual trouble bothering me is this, toward the end of completing my contract job, she had accommodation issues and I couldn't lend a hand due to the fact that I had a lot to take care of financially and such emergency spending was not budgeted for. She was so much desperate that I couldn't help looking at her. So I had to use part of my younger brother tuition fee and also borrow from my colleague to help her secure a self contain apartment as well as everything needed to make her feel comfortable, she collected the money from me to give to the agent who was supposed to source for the apartment. She resolved to squat with a friend pending when the apartment would be ready and acquiring necessary furnitures.


Almighty God been so good to me, I got a permanent job offer in a multi-national firm in Ogun state. She came to visit me and I had to pay for her flight ticket to and fro, she just left my house on Tuesday after spending two weeks with me. During her stay with me I found out that the friend she told me she was squating with all those while has been her Ex-boyfriend. And the same person we started having issues over previously due to the fact that she was having sex chat with the said Ex and also another guy who is a member of their family church, which she told me is nothing to worry about that the ex was disturbing her that he his still having problem moving on .


I'm at the cross road and unable to decide whether to end it or wait for her to apologise. Though, I haven't told her of my findings, truth be told she's everything of a
good woman and has really supported me
except for my latest findings.



Am as confused as hell now, I be not even confronted her,
my mind is playing games with me. Pls somebody should
talk to me. All the thoughts I have in mind are so far futile.




NB: no insults please. I'm really unstable at the moment.

Seat her down, tell her that you are giving her the whole time she needs on earth to sort out herifrkm the extra relationships she has been having

Thars it

dauddy97:
After so many years, I finally found a beautiful girl with good character and loving. who have promised to stay and get married to me.

we started well and her parents (mum) was in support but she said, she has to pray over it which up till now, no result.

Still didn't mind, we continue our relationship. my both parents know her very well and are also in support.
just a sudden, her mother change attitude towards her that, "you can't marry that guy".
She told me, and still yet she said she can't just leave me of which I can't leave her too.

she was in my house today and when she left, her mum called me and she said, "You can't marry my daughter as your our parents will want you to marry someone better, that I should pray I marry my own wife, someone who will support and be good to me".

I was so surprised and I told her, I was planning to visit her but when will she be available. she said she can't be available now but she will get back to me on Monday.

now,
should I tell my parents of the situation at hand?
I love her and she loves me too, what can I do?
should we take laws into our hands and let her mum be?
what can I even tell her even if she agrees to meet me by next week?
pls, who has been in this situation before and how did you manage it. did you leave her or what did you do.

lalasticlala

Am glad she said that both you can continue dating but she can't marry you

Just go ahead and live like couples and do what couples does

When her mother is tired, she will grant you people permission

Loosing someone who is dear to you because of one person's selfish reason is quite painful

Just ignore her but respect the woman

If you guys loves yourself, have babies and move own

With God all things are possible

Bawal:
A worried friend of mine complained bitterry to me that he is not happy that his weight keeps dropping since he got married 12 years ago till date as shown above nstead of going up or atleast even to maintain the former range and he is unhappy the way he looks so skinny that this is not his former self.

He mentioned that he do notice added weight when may be travelled for work purposes that may warrant him staying alone for some months.Though marital stress,lack of peace, quarrelsome with the partner,too much financial burden,lack of money, etc are not left out on his explanation.

Please for the married,we use to hear HAPPILY MARRIED,should a man suppose to be adding or losing weight when he is married or look healthier than when single.Please advice and share your opinion/experience.

It depends, if he is carrying the family load alone he will never add weight

If he is married to a troublesome wife he will never add weight

If he is the type that have time for women wahala he will keep loosing weight

freeborn02:
And how many people's daughters have reported to you that I disvirgined them, you child of a prostitute?

Now you are coming out, at your age you made womanizing an achievement. Anyway you came out from there don't be surprise remaining there

confirmedniggae:
Good evenning all.

I have been having this thought of quitting my job to learn driving in order to pick up an UBER or BOLT job but the fear of getting a car on hire purchase is always coming as an hindrance.

I am a family man whose salary of just #85,000 is not even enough to cater for the family .Before the salary even comes in, there are always debts that have been incurred.

Most times,I dont even get up to #20,000 as a result of debts and seriously I am fed up. Infact , I think of suicide sometimes because i am so depressed right now. I have rent of #140,000 hanging on my neck too.

Please will it be wise to quit to learn driving for purpose of commercial driving job?

Have you saved enough to sustain you when you quit the job you are doing

If your yearly rent is 140k, why not look for an accommodation with less that amount

Why not continue with your job until you get a hire purchase vehicle then you learn driving within a month and get your vehicle registered

freeborn02:
No, you are wrong. My mom actually met my dad as a virgin. We kids are always proud of her that.

From what you wrote up there, I doubt if your mother was a virgin when she met your father. From the look of things, you don't have a father, if you do, he would have beaten this rubbish out of your life.

Wait; the story you wrote above, is it about your mother's rotten past?

Your father met your mum as a virgin, why are you busy disvirgining people's daughter, is there any award for that

If not just stupidity

freeborn02:
Your mum would have lost your pregnancy if your dad didn't work hard to provide food for nourishing that pregnancy.

So, if not for your dad, you won't be alive to know about nairaland or have a monicker called frozen70. Your memory would have faded among your fellow spontaneous abortuses.

If not that your mum have done several abortions before meeting your dad, who pregnanted her out of wedlock she would have aborted you

But aborting you will lead to her untimely death. Hence she gave birth to a nuisance