₦airaland Forum

realakin:
Good day nairalander, dont mind my grammar i will be brief about this

I Recently met this lady on a social media page, we started getting closer,i got to know she is in her 30s 4 years older than me,with 3 kids her husband stays far away from where she resides ,they see once in a blue moon, now she told me her husband is planning on getting another wife where he stays probably due to the distance,i told her to move down but she said the husband is hell bent on marrying another wife and she is willing to back out of the marriage cos she cant cope, i told her to at least talk to her husband and fight for her marriage but she said her mind is made up, now this lady is really into me like she wants to be seeing me i am sure u all understand that, i know it wont go anywhere cos she just wants to be free and explore and enjoy what her husband has not been able to give to her due to distance,the way she talks and chat me explains how Hot she is , she is even planning to visit me , i have been looking for means to stop her from coming but this babe is adamant.
mind you she doesnt need my money she is doing well for herself she has a car and government job , One mind is telling me to give in another is saying dont i am confused the feelings is getting mutual even though we both know it is going no where

I feel she needs a man to sooth her and if you are the man then it's upto you to give in

It's going to be one regular casual relationship not that she wants you for marriage

As men can't stay without having women, women too have the same blood running in them

All she wants from you is a good time in bed that's all pending when she will sort herself

I believe you have been romantic with your gist with her that alone can trigger anything

Afokesco:
why is it that when men cheat they are happy with it..but if they are cheated on..they will be extremely furious??

someone just caught his wife in the act. na the matter we set settle since.

Is not as if they are happy when they cheat, they are just having fun and having the ability to taste outside marriage

Me has vowed not to eat just one soup all the time and those that sticked to it have more peace of mind because they are not scared of infection or pregnancy storied

But when you cheat on them, they feel bad because he who kills by gun, doest want to be killed by gun

EFULEFU1:
A lady who is in her early twenties stills baths with her father

If you are the boyfriend of this lady, what will u do?

Such a thing doesn't exist so lets not waste time arguing about it

Never

Quality20:
I hope there are still big ladies here who can help with their I sight pls, I really wonder why girls no matter how young they are, once they are into sex with matured men tend to lose respect for other elderly ppl. Whats really in sex that embolden n overly gives girls so much courage to look Into the eyes of elderly men and even tell them rubbish. Does sex make girls lose shame or what?

In her mind she has started having sex and guys are running after her like bees does to honey

So to her, what else?

Jerakson:
My Babe is extremely beautiful and young(19). She actually has interest in modeling so she billed me 150k for the pageantry fee. I refused to pay cuz I thought I'll be foolish of me to give her that money when we've not bleeped( she's still a virgin) . Now she's been ignoring me for the past 3 days now

I just dey vex for here cuz I love this girl. Did I do the right thing by refusing to give her that 150k needed to partake in that pageantry?
Cuz I feel she might not even win. So 150k fit just waste just like that

Have you ever seen a Virgin going into modeling, hmmm

So you will give her the amount and when she wins, do you think you are the class of men she will flaunt in the social media

What's the duty of her parents that she can't get it from them

Wise up pls, the economy is hard unless you don't have financial needs

Tinubuadvocate:
So sad that this woman got married by forced at that tender age so this is how it will suffer being lonely forever.

Point of correction pls

She was a former beauty queen, she read law over seas and got married to Ojukwu willingly

As a matter of facts, her father refused her getting married to his Ojokwu but she insisted that is her choice

After much consultations with peace talk, her father gave his approval and they had their traditional marriage, funny enough it was even after having children for Ojukwu

So she was not forced into it

She even said that no Bachelor will handle her better than Ojukwu

Dollywood:
But why are most Nigerian dads so miserable?!? I can't count how many horrible experiences I've heard about Nigerian dads.

These are the group of fathers that chooses to be stubborn and liabilities to their wives

Rhymer2020:
Though this is not the right section to post this, but your help is highly needed.


Good morning all.

Please, am about buying an inherited land. And it's my first time of doing so. The land is still a virgin land, there is no documents for the Land, but from my investigation, it solely belongs to the family that wants to sale it to me.

Now my question is:
what type of documents should I request from them?
Should I involve a legal practitioner?
Should I be the one to pay for survey?

Moderators help me for wider audience.

Do more research in the area to know how genuine the land it

If the entire family is involved in selling the land then its good and fine

Let them bring their own lawyer while you also come with your own lawyer on the day of payment

Alternatively ask others living around their how they did their own purchase

Jmkzb:
I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

She completly changed after the birth of our daughter, she started drinking and coming home late. Her parents were tired and ashamed of her attitudes but she didn't listened to them when they tried to advise her.

After a few years she becomes pregnant again, I knew from the bottom of my hart that I was not responsible for her pregnancy but because I loved her so much and I didn't want a broken home for our daughter because I am a product or a broken home, I have suffered all my life because my parents were busy with their new family while I suffered alone in relatives houses and I didn't want my daughter to become a victim so my prater was if I am responsible for her pregnancy, she will give birth peacefully and if I am not she will suffer during labour and the child must not leave.

God really answered my prayers because I was innocent and she really suffered during labour as death was knocking on her door, she confess that I wasn't responsible for the pregnancy and at the end the child didn't survived.

I told her not to worry that I have forgave her for the sake of our daughter, I paid all the hospital expenses and we went home. We were living fine and I have never for once I suited her or reminded her of what she did to me, but just 2 months after she left with our daughter and went back to her parents. I followed her to her parents begging her to come home but she refused becuase her guilty conscious couldn't allow her to stay in the marriage again but I promise to always be there for our daughter.

It is been 7 years since our separation and I have been paying maintance for my daughter but I had to stop 2 years ago because I have found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. She told me her school fee was 55k per trimester, I was sending her 25k monthly for chime upkeep plus her school fees but I later found out that her echo fee was only 33k per simester and she use the rest of the money to pay for her other son she had with another man.

I wasn't happy that I told her I will never pay for another man child that I want to have custody of my daughter but she refused.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.

Try and find out the school she attends and pay her school fees directly to the school and keep the tellers

Anything particular about school payments do that yourself

Keep the prove of payments because of tomorrow

Leave the child with her and one day its either the child traces you or she returns the child to you

Mist100:
Please I need mature responses only.

I have been married for 5 years with 2 beautiful kids. During this period the marriage has been bumpy as most relationships. I noticed our approach to problems and seeking solutions are completely different hence the many disagreements. I like to plan whilst she is spontaneous.

But in the last 2 years my wife introduced a new twist. During major disagreements she would usually say she had big and classy dudes around her but she chose me. She would infer our difference in status by saying several friends wondered why she was marrying me. Currently I work and take care of all our bills whilst she is trying to start a business.

2 years ago My mum got our daughter Ankara clothes which my wife refused to dress my daughter with saying they were oversize. Months after I asked her for the clothes she said she gave them out because they weren't nice. I was so angry but kept my calm to avoid another altercation.

Everything seem calm now but I have made up my mind to discuss we taking breaks away from the marriage. This will allow us re-evaluate our expectations and realities. I honestly want out of the marriage but don't want to sound too hasty.

I want to spend the next 5 years and more in bliss and peace but wonder if my reaction is too extreme.

Thanks

Sorry about the issue on ground

Peace and happiness in marriage is what makes it interesting but the absence of both is enough to wreck the home

Separation is good if that will help you guys yo come back together and understand each other

Just take her and the kids to her family and tell them you want her to return to them for now because you are not finding peace with her

Just be ready to send allowances to them

Her family will invite you if they care about the marriage

She too can use the break to go and meet those people that she felt deserves her

At the end she will determine what is good tor her

FortifiedCity:
This is a true story!!

I have a female acquaintance who got an admission to study Medicine in the prestigious University of Nigeria Nsukka but forfeited it because she overheard her man telling someone that he would never marry a graduate because of the too many sex that students have in school.

Apparently, the guy felt any lady who passes through school always graduated with too many body counts.

This lady went ahead to forfeit that admission because she felt she loved this guy so much and would do anything to keep him.

Well, the guy went on to marry her traditionally, and at present they have 3 kids.

But that's not all, for over 2 Years, this guy has not had any sexual contact with his wife. Not only that, he has gone ahead to have 2 kids outside his marriage, and by 2 different women. Now the women are insisting he must marry them. He is not even hiding it from her or anyone.

The worst part of it is that this lady can't control her husband; the man has told her clearly that he is no longer interested in marrying her again. But for the intervention of her in laws, she would have been pushed out of the marriage.

The lady does a meager 30k job to keep her family going.

I think it was insane for this lady to forfeit her admission for anyone, but then, was it worth it?

She is 33 years old now. What would you advise her if you happen to come across her?

Lalasticlala

She should just accept her fate

pelusi:
None of the above mentioned factor unless in the aspect of being worried and stressed/depressed for atimes as a man one may be prompted into "over thinking'" may be financial challenges and the way things are going. That's all

You never can tell, run a test and have your BP checked

Hullabaloon:
My dad, a retired Pentecostal Reverend spent a fortune on books, old books. 90 percent of them are religious books which nobody has opened for the better part of 25 to 30 years now.

Not that we the children are averse to reading, but this is the digital age, the age of PDF drive.
For instance, he has the complete volumes of Matthew Henry's commentary. I've got same in my laptop, it's not more than 8MB. There are many instances of this.

Dad, 76 this year, and mum are planning to relocate to the new house built for them in the village. I'm the last child, I'll take over this present apartment and refurbish it to taste.

Only problem is what to do with these books. The shelves, 4 of them, are occupying criminal amounts of space.

Does anyone know any agency or company that'll have an interest in these religious books? Will state or federal library's have any interest in old religious books?

Mods, please help me move to front page.

I will suggest you package it and put it along the properties he will be relocating with

After his life time, you burn them after one year

No one will price any of those books because of they could be gotten from the net as soft copies

Let him be with his books

pelusi:
I just discovered that my sexual performance has drastically dropped from 30 to 45 min before I can ejaculate to atleast 5 to 19 min. I don't know what is the cause and this may affect our love life as my partner by her body language is not happy over the situation even though she will not openly tell me for I know that one of the things that made our love stronger is good bed performance and lasting long before ejaculation which she commended on several occasions and showers me with lovely names.

Now I don't know what is happening that no sooner that we will start love making than I will ejaculate immediately and it will take a long before the rod stand up again. Please advise

Go for sperm count test
Mobidity test
Mophology test all this is done with a simple sperm test

Check your sugar levels

Have you been on any medication or drugs of late

Men from 40yrs and above could experience erectile dysfunction and can be corrected with drugs

Do you masturbat
Have your mind be worried for some days prior to your noticing it

nurain150:
not with the likes of davido

He has the money and money stops nonsense

Ugaboy:
I met a girl recently, though the state in which I met her wasn't pleasing at all.

I was passing by with friends, when we saw a girl sitting alone crying profusely.
I had to tell others to leave us.

that was the first time I saw Premium tears, as in it was pouring like spring from her eyes, she finally told me the challenges she is going through.

as a young man, I can't start making promises, I had to encouraged her to fix her pieces and not with tears.

fast forward, we starts meeting at same spot, just to always check on her and her progress.

I don't have any intention towards her, just want to see her always happy.

but I'm having issues that is making me unconformable around her.

Her body odor is so strong, that I'm always tempted to tell her.
though our friendship is still weak, cus it not up to a month we met.

I don't know if it's right time or right, if I open up to her?

How can I tell her without making her feel embarrassing?
and some self medication to help out.

Simply tell her that she sweats alot and it will make her develop body odour

Tell her you will get a deodorants for her and will like her to use it

It's not as difficult as you think
Maybe she doesn't even have the cash to get her toiletries

deltateam:
I have heard so many gory tales about Mbaise men and hence this question.

It's often said that:" If you see a snake and an Mbaise man, leave the snake and kill the Mbaise man." Could this be attributed to their cunningness or hot tempered nature.

Anyway as if it isn't bad enough, the man is jobless and looking up to my cousin for financial assistance as regards marrying her.

When I analyzed the situation, it left sand in my mouth and so I decided to table the matters before the elders of our land.

What are your views?

If she is desperate for marriage she will fall into the wrong hand

Auxtan:
When I was a child due to the talks in my family about how bad Ngwa people of Abia state are and why we should in every way avoid anything to do with them especially when grown and ready to get married given we live in Aba which is dominated by Ngwa people as Aba is their land I kind of swore never to have an Ngwa girlfriend talkless of marrying one and that has been me all my life though to be fair I am not into girls and have only fallen in love with a fellow Imo girl who is now married won't even say I dated her because it was all childs play love with her between my 16-18yrs,now here is the thing over the past 2 years I have been on the look out for an actual wife material girl I can start dating because I am really eager to marry whoever it'd be when ready,of all the girls I see in school in Owerri my heart couldn't fall for any but rather here in Ngwa land and to a beautiful tall and virtuous girl who is full blooded Ngwa as both her dad and mum are Ngwa. Been looking at her from afar and... typing...

Since the only people around you are from Ngwa, follow your heart and pray it works out well

Warripikine:
Apparently work ethics strongly advice against it but I see low key workmates be smashing themselves on a daily..
Is it ok?

It's ok if it will take them to the next level

But for just the fun of it, then it doesn't Make sense because you guys will definitely have issues that even the gate man will observe it

HighStar01:
Dear nairalanders,
I am a 40 year old man without a job, home or family.

I graduated from army day secondary School in the year 2000 and immediately joined the army in 2001 at the age of 17 claiming to be 18 and even bought and wrote the Nigerian defense academy exams while still in training in 2001.

I passed out as one of the best recruits and was posted the corps of military police and appointed Lance copral. I was posted to one of the most dangerous division where I continued to trying to get into the NDA and at the same time further my studies.

I wrote jamb and scored 252, was given admission to study law but the army turned it down and since I have no other means of finance I have to continue with the rigrous job.

There are so many instances where I could have lost my life but God saved me.

I was later victimized and dismissed for permitting the escape of a detainee in 2009.

I sold up all my properties including land trying to get justice since I have just five years to retire. I was fortunate enough to be employed in the federal road safety corps in 2011.

I worked for about six months when I was called back by the army. Since I have just a few years before pensionable retirement, I obliged and was deployed to the North East.

We were later court martialled and dismissed for failure to perform military duties, disobedience to a particular order and insubordination.

Ever since then I have searched for job to no avail. My wife has left with my child. My family has deserted me that I was warned to remain in frsc and not to return to the army.

I have even attempted suicide before I was rescued. Sometimes I ask God if he wants me to be a pastor. I even prayed for a dieing Man to test my faith.

I have struggled I in this life and done so many odd jobs which I would not mention.

My question is what did God want me to be.

Pls. I need your urgent advise and attention because am frustrated. Thanks.

You have a good future but unforseen powers doesn't want you to be successful

Just ask God to direct you how to serve him for the rest of your life

The mistake you did was going back to the Army, you would have remained with Road Safety

Keep trying another success is coming your way and may be the last one

Don't give up pls

golor:
Please I want to get a set of chair for my seating room ...when I told my sist that I want to get leather chair she said it get pilled with time but I love the nature of it compare to normal clothes chair ...

Please fam those with experience kindly educate us on which is durable and preferably just so we might hv intended buyers reading too...


Cc:Mynd 44

Cc:Suen

Leather chair looks beautiful but the problems with the leather chair are the followings

It's just a synthetic leather not real animal leather

It generates heat when you seat on it in extreme hot weather

You are better off with an AC living room if you just use leather chairs

It do get turn and the white underlying materials will come out, if you stich it becomes more visible if you leave it, it will continue to spread from there

It's not as rugged as cloth materials that can withstand preasure

While material chair is an all round weather and can be used with or without an AC and if turn, you can look for a matching tread to stich it

So the choice is yours, now you know the difference

A leather chair you bought for 250k original of it goes for 1ml

purehearttt:
good morning. I have a kind of pain in my testicles that hurts me so much now it's swollen and it affects my movement if I press it inside I feel some kind of lymph or tumor and it keeps getting big day by day. now it has affected me deeply that I can't do heavy work again am just suffering and because of the stigma of people around knowing you have such sickness I keep it silence trying to hustle and operate it but life is difficult for especially being a young man and jobless you know. thank you.

So sorry dear, when it comes to health, it's something to be concerned about

It could be hynea or something else

Pls go to any general hospital close to you and let's know what's the way forward

Forget about what people will say, your life is more important than what they gossip about you

Pls start now before it affects your sexual life down there

Keep us posted pls

purehearttt:
how can a man fall to the point he can't even afford a meal anymore?

how can a ma be without a single family or friends to back me up.

will I ever stand on my feets again?

how long will I be able to bear this ?

why did everything turn out so bad for me ?

am into shame poverty and problem.

where will I meet someone to back me up and stand on my feet and start my business again?

in this time of need who will provide love and value of life to me.

I'm lost I need support.

I'm looking forward to meet someone who will help me with 20k to continue my business and be myself again.

What are your challenges

State them here you could be raised

Every one is battling one thing or another

dosage150:
After my resignation from my former job where I served as a manager in a very small private firm, rather than being idle while waiting for NYSC,I stated working in a bet9ja outlet owned by my cousin's husband.
Its a month working there but I lost close to 20k due to debts from customers,
1) Gamblers are greedy that why will continue stacking with empty pockets hoping to win to at their debts

2) They stack so high, like 1.5k for 3tickets once , they won't be able to pay if the game isn't won

3) The shop is located near a university, some will drop their school files,textbook and other valuables as collateral and will never return for it

4) Most of them do fake transfer
At end of everything, I use my personal money to make up these, my savings is zero now.
Am scared of being idle at home, at same time I loose money daily

No doubt, there's side money and tips aside salary but you will end up using the money to pay for debts

Why do you have to allow them play on credit

Make it a policy that no bank transfer but cash or get a POS for easy transfer and transaction

fuckingAyaya:
the man is very brutal

Honestly

Slimslimqq:
noted ma, but pls can u state the reason u advised me to take the second one ma.
I need to be sure of my options very well

You said the first one is for one month

Then the second one is temporary

Meaning after one month you may be idle if you take the first one

But the second one will keep you busy pending when it will be off, which may take over three months

But just follow your heart

Slimslimqq:
Good afternoon house,

I need the opinions of the experienced people here.

I just resumed a temporary job today as a data entry collector for 2021 jamb students at an IT firm and the pay is 2k daily which will run for a month, there's no expenses of transportation and there's breakfast and lunch.

While I was on the job today I received a call from an interview I had online last week that I will be resuming fully on Wednesday. The salary is same as minimum wage. Transportation is upto 700 daily.

The difference between the two is first one is temporary(1 month) while the second one is a full time job, and I just resumed the first one today.

Am confused I don't want to make a wrong choice, that's why I brought it here to hear from the experienced ones.

It's urgent, I need to make a decision asap.

Thanks.

Lalasticlala please help me move to Frontpage.

Pls go for the second one

creolehunt:
Sometime last year, I met a lady. At the time I met her things were not working for me the way I had expected. In fact, my career had somehow stagnated even though I was in a new job then.

Prior to meeting her, I was seeing someone who I once overheard complaining to a friemd of having sex with someone in her dreams and in that dream, she already has a family with this strange person in that dream. This coupled with other negative feelings i had made me leave the relationship.

Now comes this new girl. Within 2 months of meeting her (5months into the job), my employment was confirmed with a promotion to booth. I must say that this confirmation typically takes 1yr to 18months. 4 months later (totalling 9months on the job), I was promoted again to a mid level managerial position. Again, this typically takes around 3yrs for others. My company cited "exceptional service delivery", but deep down I know it's not just that, I'm that instinctive. Now, I'm not the type of person to easily find favor in people's eyes or the type people just wants to stick out for. But since I met her, even at my workplace, my superiors have taken special interest in me, I just can't do any wrong.

Now, deep down, I know some things have changed. Even mentally, i have become more purposeful as she is a very driven person. I've never mentioned to her about these changes I've noticed in my life.
The thing is that when we talk, albeit jokingly she always say that she came into my life and everything changed, that the day I will try nonsense with her (cheat or breakup), my life will just scatter. Even today she said it that the "spirit" (context is important here) working for her had to smoothen my life when she came into it, lest I infect her with my troubles, I jokingly replied that my mother's prayers are working wonders in my lofe, and she said that I should be happy she is in my life. A lot of the time, she has made such comments. There was a day she said that if I keep her happy, that I will keep enjoying. She says God answers her prayers and honestly, her life is good. It just feels like she has everything all figured out.

Honestly, everything feels better around me since I met her and i also believe in the notion that some people can pull good fortune to you, but I'm also apprehensive. What if i cheat on her, what if i break up with her?

Has anyone had this type.of encounter? Please, she is not a bad person. I'm just wondering if there are truly people like this.

Some women have a good destiny that even luminates to their heart desired ma

That's why in Igbo land they said that a man gets to know his destiny when be is married

So if you think and feel that things have really turn around for you for good since you met her

Then keep her and be focused, seal it

So far she is not an Ogbanje

Oliveloaded:
Good day nairaland I have two girlfriend and I love both of them due to their character first one girl is a Muslim she use to pray all the time , I'm the I disflower her , she made 4 abortion for me and we promise each other's . Second one also a Muslim she is not use to pray but she is try anytime I told her to do so she did not school at all. Not the one I disflower her and according to my investigation she also abort for me but not let me know.

The first girl not have good carring and she is type of a girl that if u offend her she won't tell u , she prefers to stay silent.

Second girl have good carring and she know how to manage even if I broke she will find me something and she is likes girl that use to carry boys up and down she is double dating.

First girl is finished with her school since when we start our relationship she double date once but I don't know maybe she has a sex with that guy but she is educated person but her carring is zero .

Second girl is not school at but have good caring but I'm not the one I disflower her and all the guys she is double date I don't know maybe she is sex with them.


Advice me which one should I go for please.

You have two girl friends and you are scared of dating a lady that double dates

Try and improve on your English

Igbankpa:
My girlfriend was invited recently to a particular church by a friend of hers and on her first day of worshipping with them a prophesy was made about her of how she is been troubled spiritually by the family of her ex fiance. she was told to undergo a 14 days fasting and prayers and was asked to relocate to the church during that period. I don't really subscribe to their mode of worship which is entirely different from what I'm use to, for instance she was asked to buy white handkerchief and packs of water and other stuffs which I can't remember and was given some rules to abide by within the said fasting period if she must get results, all this instructions negates the tenets of Christianity as I know it and doesn't sit well with me but she was actually comfortable with them and did as she was told.
She is done with the fasting and prayers and recently came to my place to visit when she asked for a picture of mine that she needs it for a prayer session on my behalf.
Actually I'm going through a very difficult time of my Life, nothing seems to be working and I'm currently broke and jobless, I understand it's a phase that will eventually pass and I'm doing the best I can to get out of this situation and believe GOD to crown my effort.
She said she needed the picture for a prayer session on my behalf which I refused to give her not knowing that she took it without my consent and I only got to know when she called me later in the day after getting home. Considering the fact that there are too many diabolical churches springing up this days with many false prophets and evil men disguised as men of GOD misleading people.
I really Don't know what to think anymore cos left for her I believe she has good intentions but I'm still not comfortable with the whole thing.

Well I believe she loves you and wants to pray for success to come your way

And when the success comes, it's part of the prayers she had for you, meaning you can just leave her like that